(Then/Now) Ken: We All Changed

Whew, I did it!  This was a tough post to write for several reasons.  Hopefully it sheds some light on Ken and the Adler family dynamic in general.  My plan is to have at least one more regular storyline post up later this week.  My best guess is Thursday.  Thank you for your patience with my somewhat erratic posting schedule!  It's what's easiest for me right now and what gets you guys the best posts I can write.
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When Heather died, we all changed a little.  The asshole that called himself our father increased his extracurricular activities and general dickishness.  Our mom retreated even further into the hollow, submissive, vacant-eyed persona she'd adopted as her own once our father's indiscretions and controlling actions became too obvious to ignore.  Jen tried to pretend like nothing was different, but she was more emotional, whinier, and much more needy.  She followed Brody around like a puppy, desperate for someone to just take care of her.  Brody, for his part, obliged her.  Actually, he took care of mom and Jen.  Always subtly--it wouldn't have done for mom to catch on and think that he thought she was incapable.  But she was.  Not physically, but emotionally.

Heather had always been the golden child.  Valedictorian of her high school class, captain of the dance team, and of course, Homecoming queen to boot.  It came naturally to her, and she graciously accepted each honor in turn, genuinely surprised but still charming as hell.  Once she was gone, Brody usurped the golden child role.  He had always been hot on her heels, but never quite at her level.  He was a natural choice to replace her as the brightest shining Adler child.  And I resented him for it, even though he had very little control over it.

Me?  Well...I watched everyone fall into their new roles and adjust to their new lives as I slowly self-destructed.  I was 20 when Heather died; just barely older than Heather herself was when some unknown, worthless motherfucker destroyed her car and left her to die in a ditch on the side of the highway.  We were close in age, and close as siblings.  Heather had covered for me when I was out getting into trouble, and I had facilitated the few devious and unwholesome things she'd managed between dance practices and tutoring at-risk middle schoolers.

I was close to Brody too, but in a different way.  Brody was still working on his filter, and I'd spent our elementary and middle school years protecting him in a way that Heather never needed.  It was almost weekly at some points:  Brody would run his mouth to the wrong kid on the playground (usually someone older and bigger, because the kid had more balls than brains at that point), and I'd have to swoop in and save the day.  I lost track of how many kids I beat up in the name of protecting my idiotic little brother.  Someone with a little more sense might have been embarrassed that his older brother had to save his ass on a regular basis, but I think Brody enjoyed it.  I can't say I blame him...no one else was protecting us from anything, so I'm sure it was reassuring to him to know that if nothing else, I had his back.

As he got older, he learned when to keep his mouth shut, and he no longer needed me to protect him.  He learned this lesson the hard way, mostly through butting heads with our father and becoming the victim of his special brand of psychological warfare.  This led to me cementing my black sheep role in the family by sticking my neck out to try to protect Brody (who, half the time, had no idea he was being manipulated and controlled) once again, this time from our own flesh and blood.  By the time Heather died, Brody had finally figured him out and he really didn't need me to watch out for him anymore.  I was displaced from two roles at the same time, and then had to watch Brody step seamlessly into Heather's role.

So I did what any reasonable person would do, and I drank myself into oblivion.  It started with a night or two a week, and it progressed until it was more nights than not.  And eventually, alcohol wasn't enough, and I was stumbling in the door at 4 in the morning, drunk as hell as higher than a kite.  I stuck mostly to marijuana but occasionally popped pills.  I also tried acid, Ecstasy, and almost tried heroin once.  I'm glad I decided not to.

My mom ignored my drinking and drug use for a long time.  It was like she couldn't even be bothered to worry about me when she was mourning one golden child, admiring the next, and trying not to screw up the baby of the family.  I was an adult now, free to make my own choices.  Brody, on the other hand, pleaded with me to clean up my act.  He hounded me to come to his football games, his track meets.  And I just couldn't.  I couldn't sit and watch him become the new star of the family.  He didn't need me anymore.  No one did.

I was surprised when my mom finally told me I needed to move out.  She had finally reached her breaking point, and according to her, she "just couldn't watch me ruin my life anymore."  I was pissed.  She hadn't tried to stop me from "ruining my life" prior to this moment.  Brody was gone by this point, and I'd never been close to Jen, so there was no one to advocate for me.  No one left who gave a shit.

I moved in with some "friends."  I say it like that because they were not so much friends as they were using buddies.  They were out of bedrooms, but they let me sleep on the couch in return for chipping in for groceries and utilities.  It was a really great place to be staying when all I wanted to do was get drunk, get high, and forget about all the shitty things.  I talked to Brody occasionally.  He called me, I never called him.  He told me all about his conquests, the notches in his bedpost always increasing.

Our conversations got further and further apart as I grew more and more disgusted with the way he was acting.  Don't get me wrong, I'd had my fair share of casual sex, but I couldn't hold a candle to my brother.  My baby brother that I used to beat kids up for.  Now he was out fucking every girl in Miami.

I haven't yet decided if my trip completely off the rails is related to my brother's antics, or the timing was a complete coincidence.  Either way, I found myself drinking even more, smoking even more, popping even more pills.  By the time two months had gone by since my last conversation with Brody, I was swallowing a handful of Vicodin every morning, chasing it with a shot of vodka, and following it up with a couple Ritalin to fight the more obvious side effects of the Vicodin.  I went to work with another handful of Vicodin in one pocket, and 1 or 2 Ritalin in the other.  I needed them just to get through the day.

3 weeks later, I'd lost my job.  I'd been late too many times, made too many mistakes, went home "sick" too often.  A month after that, I landed in detox after a drunken/high fight with the friend whose house I was still crashing at.  We'd yelled, thrown a few punches, and he'd finally told me to get out before he called the cops.  I'd stumbled out, too fucked up to have any idea what I was actually doing, and passed out in someone's yard.  They'd called the police, who'd taken me to detox, and there I was, shivering and sweating on a thin hospital mattress, positive I was going to die.

When I'd woken up there, I had no idea where I was.  I had only a hazy memory of someone waking me up and putting me in a car.  Everything after that was lost to the blackout.  I'd ripped an IV out of my arm when I woke in a panic.  I was so sick.  I needed a fix, but it clearly wasn't going to happen.

It took 5 days until I felt decent enough to attempt to eat something.  7 before I wanted to get out of bed.  It took the entire first month of rehab for the scabs to heal from where I'd scratched furiously at my skin as I detoxed, unable to shake the feeling of bugs crawling under its surface.  It was two months before I started to feel how I vaguely remembered feeling before I started drinking and using.

But with feeling "normal" again came all the feelings about Heather's death that I'd been fighting.  It was a solid year before I was ready to get back in touch with any of my family members.  Surprisingly, I ended up talking to Jen the most.  She'd always been the most forgiving of my siblings, and that hadn't changed.  She was the one that talked me into coming to Thanksgiving a couple times.

Things with Brody remained strained and tense.  He'd reached out to me a few times while I was in rehab.  He'd wanted to come visit.  I just couldn't see him though, I wasn't ready.  He took it personally, and I don't blame him.  He was the one that had gotten a call from the police the night they'd picked me up, because he was in my phone as "Little Brother", and was the only obvious family member.  Dad was in as "Asshole" and mom was under "Thalia" because I didn't ever want her to get that phone call from the police.  Even with as low as I was, I had recognized the possibility.  I wish he hadn't been tasked with filling in mom and Jen.  I was grateful that he hadn't told dad.  That was one of the best decisions he's ever made, and I appreciated it more than I'd ever tell him.

When Brody brought Olivia to Thanksgiving, I was confused.  She was nothing like how I'd imagined the girls he "dated".  She seemed like an actual nice girl.  I didn't know what to make of that, and I instantly got angry that he'd bring a perfectly nice girl around for a holiday as though he had any serious intentions.  I'd lashed out at her, hoping she wouldn't get too comfortable here.

Jen had made it very clear what she thought of my behavior.  She'd knocked twice on my bedroom door after dinner and then barged in without waiting for me to answer.  "What the hell, Jen?" I snapped.

"No, don't you 'what the hell, Jen?' me," she retorted.  "What the fuck was that?"

"What the fuck was what?" I asked mildly, even though I knew damn well what she was talking about.

"Why were you such a jackass to her?"

"Why were you so nice to her?" I challenged in return.

Jen's jaw dropped.  Even for being the most forgiving of my family members, she also had the most fiery temper.  "Because she's a guest and I have manners?" she shot back.  "Because she's Brody's girlfriend?  Because there was absolutely no legitimate reason to not be nice to her?"

I snorted.  "None of that means you need to be her champion.  She's not going to last, Jen.  Don't get attached."

"I see very little has changed," she muttered.

I sat up and put my hands on her arms.  "Listen to me, Jennifer.  If you want to talk about how little someone has changed, look at your other brother.  Your favorite brother.  He views women as nothing more than conquests, as challenges, as objects meant solely for his pleasure.  You think that 'nice girl' out there is going to put up with that for long?  She'll get tired of being bought soon enough and she'll be out the door.  I'm pissed at him for even bringing her here and giving mom hope that her golden boy might someday settle down and give her some nice prodigy grandchildren."

"No, you listen to me, Kenneth!" she hissed back.  "It doesn't matter what Brody's intentions are.  You can't just treat the poor girl like shit because you don't approve of Brody's....habits.  And you haven't heard the way he talks about her.  I have.  This is different.  She's different.  He's different.  So if you can't fucking behave yourself around her, maybe you should just go ahead and stay in this room by yourself tonight so you don't make a fool out of all of us.  She already has to deal with dad tomorrow, she doesn't need your bullshit too!"  Then, in true Jen fashion, she spun on her heel and stormed out of my room, leaving me with no chance to respond.

The entire exchange was enough for me to want to back away from family business again.  Mom called, Jen called, Brody even called a couple times.  I got the news of my father's idiocy through a phone call from an FBI agent.  I got the news of his death in a voicemail after Jen had tried three times to call and actually talk to me.

For some reason, when I listened to Brody's voicemail announcing that he had proposed to his girlfriend--the same one from Thanksgiving even, I'd decided to call him back.  I wasn't entirely sure what my purpose was in doing so.  His response to me calling him out for leaving his news in a voicemail was just as smooth and smarmy as I expected, and it grated on my nerves.  But when I spat out an insult about our dad, I was surprised by the regret I felt instantly.  Brody had been closest to him, despite how awful he was, and now he was dead.  And I didn't have any idea how Brody felt about that.  When I apologized, something in my head changed.  I suddenly wanted that apology to mean so much more than it did.  I wanted it to mean that I was sorry for not doing a better job of protecting him from our dad.  I wanted it to mean that I was sorry for not being there for him after Heather died.  I wanted it to mean that I was sorry he had to get the phone call from the police, and even sorrier than I refused to see or speak to him after that.  I wanted it to mean that I was sorry that I had let my life get so far out of my control that I had damaged our relationship in ways that it might not ever heal.

But I didn't say any of those things.  And I'll probably never know whether or not he felt those things in the silence that followed.  But I do know that when he cracked a joke, the entire tone of the conversation changed.  It wasn't even close to what it used to be, but it was better than it had been.  When I hung up, I wondered if it was possible to get things back on good terms.  I wasn't sure, but I knew I had to try.  

It Seems So Soon

I spent my morning at work thinking excitedly about getting married this fall, then reminding myself that we didn't know for sure yet.  I used my breaks between clients to call some of the places on my list.  I left the place I really liked until last, planning to call on my lunch break.  I crossed all the others off one by one as they told me they were booked solid for October, and had been for months.

I was nervous by the time lunch rolled around, which seemed kind of ridiculous.  I decided to take my lunch out to my car to make the call, because I didn't want anyone to overhear me.  I fidgeted anxiously as they transferred me to the event coordinator.  I felt like I waited on hold forever, but it was only about 90 seconds.  Finally, a cheerful woman answered, "Hi, this is Leigh.  You have some questions about our banquet space?"

"Hi, Leigh," I responded.  "I do.  My boyfr--um, I mean, my fiancé and I are interested in potentially having our wedding and reception there.  I was wondering if we could check some dates?"

"Our banquet room has a 74 person capacity," she said.  "Is that going to be enough space?"

"We did an initial guest list and we have 52 people, 54 including us, I guess," I informed her.  "We don't want anything big."

"Okay, we can definitely handle around 50 people," she replied confidently.  "Let's talk dates then, what were you thinking?"

"That's where it gets tricky," I said nervously.  "We were hoping to do it this fall.  Maybe mid- to late-October?  If you had the 17th or 24th available, that would be perfect.  I know it's really soon, but we figured we could at least call and find out, you know?"  I stopped abruptly before I got too far into my ramblings.

"Hmmmm," she said, and I could hear her clicking away on a computer keyboard.  "That's a popular time here, and it's only a few months away, but let me see what we have."  A few more clicks, then her voice, sounding apologetic.  "I'm sorry, ma'am.  The 10th, 17th, and 24th are all booked.  We have the 3rd and the 31st open.  We have the 16th open, if you were interested in a Friday at all.  Otherwise we've done some brunch receptions on Sundays too, and those can be fun.  What do you think?"

I frowned.  "That sucks," I said.  "Everyone lives at least 2 hours away, so we'd rather not do a Friday or Sunday.  I don't want the 31st...the 3rd seems so soon, though."

"You know," she replied, "That is soon--just a little more than 3 months.  But that first week in October is usually our peak leaf color week.  It would be lovely.  I'm actually surprised we're not already booked that weekend.  And in the long run, when you're planning a wedding this close, I don't think 2 weeks will make that much difference.  Generally people are really busy right at the beginning of the engagement, getting all the vendors lined up, and then a few months before the wedding date, getting all the final details worked out.  I think it's doable--you just wouldn't have the break in between like couples with a longer engagement would.  It might be harder to find a photographer and a DJ, but it wouldn't be any easier with an extra 2 or 3 weeks.  We have vendor lists you can use to help guide your search, as well."

"That makes sense," I said slowly, rolling this around in my head.  "Well, can we make an appointment to come this Saturday or Sunday to see it in person and get more information?  I'll need to talk to my fiancé about the date, of course, but I think we'd like to at least come look."

"Absolutely!" she responded.  "Let's do this.  I'm going to put a temporary hold on that date.  Normally we require a deposit to hold the date, but I'll flag it so that if anyone calls wanting to book that date this week before you can get here, we'll call you and offer you the chance to put a deposit down first.  We won't hold it without a deposit, but if you're willing to put it down over the phone before you come, you'll have the first shot at it.  I'll get all the information together and we can sit down and meet.  If you'd like to do a tasting while you're here as well, given the timeframe, let me know and I can have that prepared for you.  I'll email you our catering menu so you can take a look in the meantime, sound good?"

"That sounds perfect," I agreed.  In the short time we'd talked over the phone, I really liked Leigh and imagined she'd be wonderful to work with.  We set up a time to meet for Sunday afternoon, as they had a wedding this Saturday, and I gave her my contact information, including my email for the catering menu.

After we hung up, I called Brody.  He didn't answer, so I ate my lunch, hoping he'd call me back while I was still on my break.  He didn't, and I soon had to go back inside to get ready for my next client.  Of course, after I finished with my next client and checked my phone, I saw that he had called back while my client was here.  I quickly dialed his number, hoping to catch him in the couple minutes I had between clients.  He didn't answer, and he called back right as I was getting ready to go get my next client from our lobby.  "Hey," I said in a rush, answering my phone.  "I can't talk, but can I call you after this client?  Probably about 2:50ish?"  He confirmed that would work and he'd keep an eye on his phone, and we hung up.

When I had sent my next client on her way, I hurried back to my office and called Brody again.  He answered this time, and I swung my office door shut to discourage eavesdropping.  "I assume you at least talked to someone, somewhere?" Brody asked.  "You're awfully eager to talk to me!"

I laughed.  "I did, and I am."  I filled him in on the unsuccessful candidates, then on what Leigh had told me.

"October 3rd, huh?" he repeated when I was finished.  "I think we can do that, don't you?  It's only a couple weeks sooner."

"It seems so soon," I replied.  "I don't know."

"But you want to, or you wouldn't have made the appointment to go there," he pointed out.  I agreed.  "Their planner seems to think we can do it."

I snorted.  "Their planner, nice as she is, is also trying to make money."

"Well, that's true," he agreed.  "But we can at least go there and meet with them and see how that goes."

"Right, that's what I thought.  It's just kind of scary to think that we'd only have a little over 3 months."

"We'd only have just under 4 months if we'd gotten one of the weekends we wanted," Brody reminded me.  "Look, you get the final say on if we do it, because you'll be the one doing more of the planning, but if you want to get married in the fall, we'll make it happen."

"Okay," I said, soothed by his confidence, even though I had a feeling he didn't know the first thing about planning a wedding.  Let's be real, neither do I.  "I have to get back to work, but we can maybe talk more tonight."  We said goodbye and I finished my day off with two more clients, a little bit of paperwork, and a stop at the gym before I headed home.

When I got home I took a quick shower and then went downstairs to make some dinner.  Brody came home while I was throwing together a quick pasta dish.   "You smell good," he said by way of greeting, wrapping his arms around me from behind and dropping his chin down to my shoulder.

"I smell much better than I did 20 minutes ago," I agreed with a laugh.  I turned and leaned back against the counter so I could look up at him.  I smiled, and he kissed me.  I kissed him back as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling my hips against his.  "Mmmm," I said, pulling away just a little.  "Food."  I cocked my head at the stove.

"I know," he replied, dropping his head to kiss my neck.  His lips lingered there for several seconds before he moved away, letting me tend to the food on the stove.  He leaned against the counter, watching me.  "Do you want help?"

"No, almost done," I said.  "How was your day?"  We talked about our days while I finished up dinner.  Brody grabbed plates and silverware and we were soon continuing our conversation at the table.

"Any more thoughts about October third?" Brody asked, when we were finishing up our meal.

I set down my fork and nodded.  "Actually, yes.  I want to see the place, of course, and talk through timelines and what we need and want to do before then.  But I also need to make sure that Lynn's going to be able to make it.  She had mentioned that she was trying to talk her doctor into clearing her to come visit this fall, and I need her to be here.  I can't imagine getting married without her here."

"That makes sense," Brody replied.  "Actually, we should probably check the date with our immediate family members too, don't you think?  It's soon enough that it's possible that people might have plans already."

"You're right," I agreed.  "I didn't even think of that."  I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck, suddenly overwhelmed.

Brody stood and grabbed both of our plates and took them to the sink, then returned to the table, standing behind me.  He squeezed my shoulders lightly, massaging gently, and said, "Liv, if you don't want to do this fall, we don't have to.  I don't want this to be nothing but a source of stress for you."

"But I do want to," I insisted stubbornly.  "I'm just a little overwhelmed. It was a long day."  I leaned my head back until it touched his body so I could look up at him.

He bent and kissed my forehead, then said, "We have this whole week to make a few phone calls and get organized before we make any decisions.  Let's not worry about it any more tonight."

"Sounds good to me," I agreed.

"Are you going to need some help relaxing?" he asked with a smirk.

"Hmm," I mused, pretending to not know exactly what he meant.  "Maybe, do you have something in mind?"

"I do," he replied, pulling my chair back from the table.  I stood and kissed him, and we stood next to the table for several minutes, kissing and starting to tug at each other's clothes.  When his hands traveled up my shirt and brushed across my bra-less breasts, I pulled away breathlessly and walked towards the stairs, tugging him along behind me.

Once we got into our room (and I truly considered it our room now, much to my surprise), Brody didn't waste any time pulling off his already loosened tie and unbuttoning his shirt.  I pushed it off his shoulders and ran my fingers along the skin above the waistband of his pants.  He groaned and wrapped one arm around me, pulling me close to him and kissing me hard, while he used his other hand to unbuckle his belt and get his pants off.  Once his pants were gone, that hand slipped down the front of my shorts, stroking me gently until I had to sit down heavily on the bed because my legs didn't want to cooperate anymore.  I quickly wiggled out of my shorts and yanked off my tank top.

Brody pulled my hips to the edge of the bed where he was standing and slowly pushed into me.  He held onto my hips with one hand and the other found its way between my legs, stroking me as he thrust into me.  He continued until I came, gasping and locking my legs around him, holding his hips tightly against my body.

Once my legs relaxed and I caught my breath a little, Brody motioned for me to move up fully onto the bed.  I did, and he moved back between my legs and thrust back into me.  He lowered his lips to mine and we kissed as he moved slowly on top of me.  I could tell he was close, and I bit gently on his lower lip and pulled his hips hard into mine.  He groaned and shuddered, tensing briefly before relaxing against me.  His lips moved from mine to kiss down my neck and across my shoulder.  "I love you, Liv," he said softly, before he rolled off of me.  He pulled me over to him and I settled against his side with my head on his chest and my arm wrapped tightly across his waist.

"I love you too," I mumbled, already drifting into a post-sex sleepy daze.  Brody ran his fingertips lightly over the sensitive skin on the side of my neck, then down over my shoulder.  I sighed happily and relaxed against him even more as his fingers continued back over my shoulder and up my neck.

Even though it was only about 8:30, we decided that getting out of bed was far too much work at this point.  We laid there, cuddled together, talking idly for almost an hour until we were both close to sleep.  Then we took turns getting up to brush our teeth and get ready for bed before settling back under the blankets together.  I was far more relaxed after turning my brain off from wedding stuff for a little while, and I fell asleep easily.

Could We Pull it Off? Part 2

After dinner with Lauren, we went back to her house where we worked on a bottle of wine while I waited for Brody to be done with work and come get me.  "So, how are things with Alex?" I asked her.  "Anything else you've been avoiding telling me for fear that I'll make a huge deal out of it?  I promise I'll keep my mouth shut, but this is your only chance."

Lauren laughed.  "No, and I wasn't avoiding telling you.  I was trying to figure out how to tell you in such a way that it wouldn't seem like a big deal.  I clearly failed.  And things are good." She smiled as she spoke.  "He's so excited to come home with me next month.  He can't wait to meet my mom and Lynn."

"Aw, that's sweet," I replied.  "I love that he's so excited about it."

"I kind of do too," she admitted.  "I'd never tell him that, though!"  We both laughed.  Then she said, "So you really don't want a big wedding or a traditional dress, huh?"

I shrugged.  "Not really.  I suck at planning stuff like that, and I'm worried that Brody will be too busy to help much.  Then I'll get pissed at him.  It's not worth it.  And I don't want a whole bunch of people I barely even know watching me get married."

"And the dress?"

"It's just not me.  I've looked at a few sites and nothing catches my eye or feels right.  I don't know.  I'm just not a big poofy dress girl, you know?"

Lauren rolled her eyes.  "Wedding dresses don't have to big and poofy, Olivia.  You should at least try some on."

"I don't know," I replied.  "I'll know it when I see it.  And so far, I haven't seen it."

"You're going to break your poor mother's heart," she pointed out.

I sighed.  "I know.  But my wedding isn't about her."

Lauren opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a knock at the door.  She pulled it open and Brody was standing there.  "Hi," I greeted him, happy for the interruption distracting Lauren from whatever she was going to say.  He came in and kissed me lightly on the cheek and greeted Lauren.  They chatted while I slipped my shoes on and grabbed my purse.

When I was ready to go we said goodbye to Lauren and got in Brody's SUV.  When we were on our way, I turned my head to look at him, and I watched him concentrate on the road.  He must have felt my eyes on him, or saw me looking out of the corner of his eye, because he glanced at me briefly and smiled.  "What?" he asked.

"Nothing," I replied.  His eyebrow went up skeptically.  I took and breath and said in a rush, "Well, okay.  Lauren and I were talking about our wedding, and I mentioned some of the things that we'd talked about. You know, smaller wedding, short engagement, mountains, maybe in the fall?"  He nodded, and I continued.  "Do we still want those things?"

"I would still love those things," he said.  "Do you still want those things?"

"I do, but we'd be bringing new meaning to 'short engagement' if we shot for a fall wedding now," I replied carefully, watching him to gauge his reaction.  "Do you think we could pull it off?"

He shrugged.  "If we want a bigger, more traditional wedding, absolutely not." I nodded in agreement.  "But it sounds like you don't want that."  He glanced at me again, and I nodded again.  "So here's the thing.  If we want to plan a wedding now, and get married in a matter of months, I'm not in a good spot at work to be able to totally pull my own weight with the actual planning process.  I will do everything I can, but I'm worried that it would fall mostly on you.  If you're okay with that, and you want to get married this fall, I say we go for it.  If you want me to be more equally involved, I'm happy to do that, but we might have to push things out further.  What do you think?"

I considered this.  "I guess I'm not sure,"  I said finally.

"Why don't we do this," Brody suggested.  "We'll pick a few potential dates we might want to consider this fall and do some research on if we could even get a place for those days.  We might not be able to at this point and that will make the decision a little easier."

"Okay," I agreed.

"Do you..." he trailed and paused, and now he looked nervous.  "You said mountains.  Do you want to get married around here?"

"I do," I replied immediately.  "That part I'm completely sure about."

"Are your parents going to be upset about that?"

I shrugged.  "I have a feeling there is going to be a lot about this wedding that my mom is not going to love," I admitted.  "I know she'd love for me to have a big, traditional wedding with all the traditional wedding things, and that's just not me.  I hope that in the end she'll understand, but it's not her wedding, and I'm not expecting her to pay for it, so it shouldn't be about what she wants."

Brody chuckled.  "Okay.  I just wanted to know what I was getting myself into.  I agree that it should be about us, but I know how moms can be."

When we got home, we picked a few dates in October and did a little internet research.  It seemed crazy that just a couple months ago I was freaking out because he had asked me to move in with him, and just a month ago I was struggling to even have a hypothetical conversation about what I wanted for my someday wedding.  I could see why Lauren wanted to make sure I was happy, but wanting to marry Brody was never a question.  My biggest fear was everything falling apart when I moved in, and once I got over that, the biggest barrier was my ingrained habit of avoiding serious conversations about feelings and the future.  Those conversations were still hard for me to start, but once I got going, I could manage.  And it got easier every time, as I finally started to figure out that talking to Brody about these things was way different than trying to talk to John about...well, about anything.

As we looked at a few things online, I made a list of places to call.  I'd make some phone calls over breaks between clients at work.  If we were going to actually try to plan a wedding in 4 months, I preferred somewhere we could have the ceremony and the reception.  The less coordinating of things I had to do, the better.

"Hmmm, Liv, look at this," Brody said.  He turned his laptop towards me.  I scrolled through the page he was on.  It was a website for a restaurant that had a small banquet room on the upper level.  Its maximum capacity was 74 people, which was perfect.  It didn't look like they did a lot of weddings, but they boasted an in-house catering team and event coordinator.  Reading further, I saw they did a lot of corporate retreats and other events of that nature.  That was promising, as it seemed to me that that would make it less likely that they'd be booked.  Maybe not, but in my head it made sense.

On my laptop, I googled the name of the restaurant and clicked on the "Images" tab.  I found some pictures of the restaurant part and then a few pictures of it set up for events.  It was a fairly basic space with not much in the way of decoration, but it was rustic, with exposed beams and high ceilings.  I loved it.  I continued to scroll through the photos and finally stopped on a shot out the windows, which were floor to ceiling and took up an entire wall.  The view was breathtaking, and I was instantly sold.  I'd always imagined my wedding would be outside, but that wasn't going to be an option for fall in the mountains.  These floor to ceiling windows were a perfect compromise.

"Where is it?" I asked him, clicking back to my google search to find the restaurant's website.

"That's the thing," he replied.  "It's a little further away than some of the other places."  He pulled up a map and showed me, explaining, "It's not far from where my mom lives.  Remember after dinner with my dad, I asked you to drive up to that random spot?" I nodded.  "This is about 10 miles from that spot.  It's probably almost 2 hours from here."

I frowned and considered this.  "The closest place we've looked at so far is an hour away," I mused.  "I don't think one more hour will make that much difference.  I can at least call."

We spent the next hour throwing together an initial guest list, just to make sure we didn't have too many people for the smaller space.  No point in even calling if we couldn't fit our guests there.  When we were finished, we had 52 people on the list.  We'd stuck to family friends we were close to--people we knew we'd actually be disappointed about if they couldn't make it.  I knew we were probably forgetting some, but a 74-person capacity gave us enough wiggle room that we knew we'd be okay.

We'd stayed up way too late for a school night, but I was giddy with excitement over the possibility that I might be able to have my fall wedding.  I tried to talk myself down, reminding myself that we didn't know if the venue had any of the weekends open that we wanted.

"You're going to call tomorrow?" Brody asked, as we got into bed.

"Yes, probably on my lunch break," I confirmed.  "If they're open that weekend, can I set something up for us to go check it out on Saturday or Sunday?"

"That's what I was thinking," Brody replied.  I smiled to myself in the dark, happy that we were on the same page.

Could We Pull It Off?

I've received a challenge.  Loyal reader and commenter Mum challenged me to write a post from Ken's perspective.  I like it and I'm giving it a shot.  You can expect that one up whenever I manage to get it done--hopefully by next Friday.  As for this post, it's short.  You can expect an extra short (as in, an additional post that is short, not a post that is extra short in length) post sometime this weekend!  

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When my alarm went off on Monday morning, I groaned and rolled over, grabbing clumsily for my phone to make it stop.  Instead, I whacked it and it flew off the nightstand and skittered across the floor.  "Goddamn it!" I snapped in irritation.  I heard Brody chuckle next to me and I looked over, surprised.  In the last couple weeks, I had gotten so used to him being out of bed already by the time my alarm went off.  I stumbled out of bed and grabbed for my phone but in the process I accidentally kicked it, sending it further out of reach.  "Fuck!"

Now Brody was full on laughing, and I shot a glare over my shoulder before I bent down to retrieve my phone and finally succeeded in silencing it.  I climbed back into bed and pulled the blankets over my head.  "Why are you even still here?" I grumbled as I disappeared into my cocoon of blankets.

"You're extra cranky this morning," he commented mildly, not at all fazed by my grumpy comment.

"I didn't sleep well," I replied, my words muffled by the blankets.

Brody peeled the blankets away from my face and cuddled next to me, wrapping an arm around me.  "I know," he said wryly.  "You were tossing and turning all night."

"Sorry," I apologized sheepishly.  I wiggled free of my blankets and turned over to face him, burrowing into his chest and locking my arms around his back.  "Let's just stay home today.  We can go back to sleep and then when we wake up we can stay in bed and be lazy all day."

"You know I'd do it in a second if I could," he replied, rubbing my back.

I sighed.  "I know.  I can't either, but it sounds nice right now."  Brody offered me the shower first but I let him have it so I could lay in bed just a little longer.  I rolled onto my stomach and shut my eyes, even though I knew that wouldn't help me wake up. I might have dozed off, because it seemed like just seconds before Brody was out of the shower.  I kept laying in bed, knowing I was pushing my limits of actually getting out the door in time without seriously rushing.

A half-dressed Brody lightly smacked my ass and said, "If you want to eat your breakfast while it's hot, you might want to get moving."

"Mmmm, breakfast," I said, rolling over and stretching.  I definitely missed breakfast being made for me on the days that Brody was gone by the time I got up.  That was enough to finally get me out of bed and into the shower.

By the time I got downstairs, breakfast was done and was sitting on a plate for me.  "You're my favorite," I said, pausing to kiss Brody before grabbing a fork and sitting down.

"How about if I drive us both today so you can drink with Lauren tonight?" he asked in response, taking a sip of coffee and leaning against the counter.

"You can't be more than my favorite," I teased.  "Favorite is already the best there is.  What's in it for you?"  It wasn't unusual for him to drive us both into town or make breakfast, but he seemed like he was being extra nice this morning.

"The knowledge that someday I'll need a favor and you'll be forced into doing it because of all the nice things I've done for you."  I snorted, knowing that keeping score was the furthest thing from his mind.  "I'm glad you find it funny," he said, smirking.  "Honestly, I'm worried that today's going to be a pain in the ass for you, so I wanted to at least make sure that parts of it were good."

"Why would today be any more of a pain in the ass than any other day?" I asked, looking at him in confusion.

He nodded towards my left hand as he said, "Josh."  I frowned.  I hadn't thought about him.  I wasn't close to anyone at work...everyone at this job pretty much came to work, did their job, and left.  So it wasn't like I'd be announcing my engagement to anyone.  Maybe he wouldn't notice?

Of course, that was too much to hope for.  Around lunchtime, Josh came into my office.  I set my jaw and slid my hand down to my side where he couldn't see it, feeling silly for trying to hide my ring.  Turned out that he had a legitimate question on a form for a client.  Without thinking, I grabbed a copy out of my filing cabinet and handed it to him, revealing my left hand in the process.

"Well, holy shit," Josh said, ignoring the paper I was holding out to him and grabbing my left hand.  I pulled back, but he tightened his grip and pulled my hand towards him.  He whistled softly and then looked up at me.  "I guess congratulations are in order?"

"I guess," I replied.

"You don't sound very excited," he observed.

I briefly considered saying it was hard to sound excited when you were talking to someone who'd been nothing but insulting about the relationship, but decided the path of least resistance was the best choice.  "I'm very excited," I replied.  "But confirming that someone should congratulate me is weird, so saying 'yes' didn't seem right.  Can I have my hand back, please?"  He looked down, as if he'd forgotten his grip on me, then dropped my hand quickly.

"Well," he said, after an awkward several second pause.  "I guess I'll take that."  He motioned to the form that was still in my right hand.  I gave it to him and he thanked me and left.  I spun my chair back around to face my desk, but I was completely baffled by that.  It hadn't gone at all like I'd expected.  I'd expected him to be a dick, to make a bunch of snide remarks, and to leave in a huff after I finally snapped.   I wasn't sad that hadn't happened, but I was confused.

I shrugged it off and got back to work.  I didn't see Josh again for the rest of the day, and I wasn't sad about.  Lauren picked me up from work on her way home, and we decided to go out to eat instead of hanging out at her house (I still felt weird calling it her house).

As soon as we were seated, she looked at me.  "Are you happy?" she asked.

"What?"

She sighed.  "Happy.  Are you happy?  With that," she motioned to my left hand, "and with being engaged."

"Yes, of course I am," I replied, puzzled.

"Good!" Lauren said, with a broad smile.  "I was just making sure."

"Okay, weirdo," I replied, laughing.

"So I know you guys have been engaged for about 5 minutes, but what are you thinking?  What do you want?"  I had never seen Lauren so excited for wedding/marriage talk.  It was weird.

"Well, we had talked about fall, and a short engagement," I started.

Lauren's eyes widened.  "This fall?" she squeaked.

I shrugged.  "We were talking generally," I explained.  "Fall in general.  Short engagement in general."

"Well, this fall certainly would be a short engagement," she pointed out.  "And next fall would not."

"That's true," I agreed.  "But fall isn't a requirement."

"You couldn't even order a dress and have it altered in time for a wedding this fall," Lauren mused.

I frowned.  "We don't want a huge wedding.  I don't even think I want a traditional wedding dress, actually.  I think if we really wanted to, we could plan a wedding for this fall."

"Wait, really?  But you'd need a place, and a dress--some dress, even if it's not a traditional wedding dress.  It's already almost the end of June.  You'd need invitations to go out in like...two months."

"Lauren!" I exclaimed, cutting her off.  "First of all, how do you know so much about when to send invitations out?"

"Remember when my mom worked for that stationery place?"

"Oh, right." I nodded.  "Either way, we haven't even talked about any of this.  I mean, not since we actually got engaged.  Everything we had talked about was hypothetical."

"But if you both really do want a wedding in the fall and a short engagement, you might want to have that conversation sooner rather than later," Lauren pointed out.

I realized that she was right.  And as unimportant as it might be, I really did want to get married in the fall, and I didn't want to be engaged for over a year, waiting for next fall.  The idea of being engaged for over a year made me want to give the ring and tell him to propose again next spring.  I don't know why, but when we didn't want a big wedding it seemed pointless to be engaged for a long time.  Could we pull it off?  I wasn't sure, but I knew that we needed to at least figure out what we wanted to do if we wanted to try.

(Now) Brody: Uphill Battle

I sighed and looked at my phone.  I could hear Liv's voice trail off as she went downstairs.  She was talking to her parents, and from what I heard before she moved out of earshot, it sounded like her mom was much more excited today than she'd been at first yesterday.  I was relieved.  Despite my little show of confidence yesterday, I was definitely worried that her parents wouldn't be thrilled.  I know Liv claimed they loved me, but they barely knew me.  I also knew they were a little overprotective and we hadn't been together that long, nor had I asked for their blessing.

Not asking for their blessing had been a very calculated move.  I knew it would potentially make for having to smooth things over with her parents, but I also knew that Liv would view me asking their blessing as asking for permission and wouldn't like it at all.  I understood that a lot better since she had explained what it had been like growing up with parents that were fearful for her safety on a regular basis.  She'd spent so much time resisting--but ultimately bending to--what they wanted that she was pretty set on living her life without their input now.  I had thought about pros and cons, but in the end, since I was marrying Liv and not her parents, I had made the choice that was better for Liv.

I was also a little worried this entire wedding would be an uphill battle.  In our casual conversations about it (plus in little asides here and there), Liv made it fairly clear that she wanted to get married in the mountains.  I didn't know if that would change when it came to actually planning a wedding, but I do know that there aren't any mountains in Wisconsin.  I didn't know her parents well enough to know if they'd be upset if Liv decided she wanted to get married here instead of at home.

I turned my thoughts back to the phone in my hand.  I needed to call my brother.  I felt a tiny bit of relief that I didn't have to call my dad, but it was instantly replaced by a stab of guilt.  I should be sad that I don't have a dad to share this news with.  Instead, I'm relieved because I won't have to bust my ass to protect Liv from him.  That's not really the thought that a loving son should have.  I shook my head to clear it, and stabbed my finger at Ken's name in my contact list.  A brief lag, then the number popped up on my screen along with text that said, "Calling Ken".

It rang one and a half times before his voicemail suddenly picked up.  I felt a flash of irritation, because I knew he'd declined the call, sending me to voicemail.  As his recorded message played, I debated if I should leave the news in the message or just ask him to call back.  I didn't have much time to think, and when the recording beeped, I said, "Ken, it's Brody.  I called to share some news with you.  I proposed to Liv this weekend, and she said yes.  So we're engaged.  Give me a call, bro, because I haven't talked to you in a long time."

It was a stupid message, and I felt sad as I hung up.  I wanted the Ken from before Heather's death back.  My best friend.  My big brother.  The one who took care of me and beat up the bigger kids for me and shielded me from the evidence of my dad's failures as a family man.  This Ken was one that was rude to my girlfriend, sent my calls straight to voicemail, and never called or visited.  To be fair, though, I could count on one hand the number of times I'd called him in the last year.  It was hard, because I was always worried I wouldn't get sober Ken.  Even worse than remembering the dark, scary years of Ken's drug and alcohol use after Heather's death was the fear that one day they'd return.  It was easier to just not call and pretend to be oblivious.

I turned my attention back to my computer to try to get some work done.  I'd just gotten my brain focused back on press releases and public appearances when my phone rang.  I glanced at it, reached to silence the ringer, and then looked again.  It was Ken, calling me back.  I picked up.

"Hello?"

"The fuck is wrong with you, that you leave news like that in a voicemail?" I couldn't tell if he was joking or not.  He got harder and harder to read as time went on and the space between us grew bigger.

"Well, I had to choose between leaving it in a voicemail and taking the chance that you'd just not call me back and hear it from someone else before you heard it from me.  Lose-lose situation," I responded smoothly.

"I would have guessed you would have sent Jen to do your dirty work," he retorted, taking a stab at me for not calling him when Dad died.

"You don't call her back either," I pointed out.  She'd called him 3 times, he hadn't called any of us back.  Not me, not her, not Mom.

"Yeah, well, that fucker can rot in hell."  I cringed, my mixed feelings about our father stabbing me again.  I wasn't surprised that he felt that way, but I was surprised at the next thing out of his mouth.  "Sorry, Brody.  I know....well, I'm sorry."

"Thanks, man."  I didn't know what else to say.

A long silence stretched out, and I felt the gap between us widen painfully as neither of us spoke.  "So," Ken said finally.  "The girl from Thanksgiving, huh?"

"Yeah," I replied.  "The girl from Thanksgiving.  Her name is Olivia.  Liv."

"I remember her name.  I wouldn't have been such a dick to her if I'd have realized you were for real with her."

"That's a generous admission," I joked.  "I'm sure she'll appreciate it."

He chuckled, and I felt instantly lighter.  "She's too good for your sorry ass, you know that, right?" The edge was gone from Ken's voice, and I laughed with him.  "She took my shit like a champ.  I approve."

"That's a relief, I won't have to beg Don to take that expensive diamond back."

He paused, and his voice sounded strange when he spoke again.  "I hear she handled the bastard's bullshit well too." Even now, after his death, he couldn't acknowledge our father without swearing.

"She was amazing both times she had to deal with him," I agreed.

"Don't fuck it up, little brother."  It was the most brotherly thing he'd said to me in years.  His voice was actually warm when he said it, and it made me smile.

"I'm trying not to," I replied.  "Any tips?"

At that, he burst into laughter.  "You're still an asshole.  Good to know that some things don't change.  Look, I have to get going, but I'm glad you called.  And Brody?  Congratulations."

"Thanks, Ken," I said.  We said goodbye and I hung up, feeling strange about the way the conversation started, but relieved at how it had turned out.

I turned back to my computer, determined to focus on getting some work done now.  I'd promised Liv that every Sunday from noon on was "us" time, with no work, but since we'd spent Friday, yesterday, and this morning together, she'd insisted on me getting some work this afternoon.  I tried to protest, but I sensed that she needed some downtime to recharge after the crazy and slightly overwhelming weekend we'd had, so I'd taken her up on it in the end.

I was just starting to think about taking a break when a light knock on my office door made me look up.  Liv was leaning against the doorframe, smiling at me.  "Hungry?" she asked.  "I think I'm going to make some dinner."

"Yeah," I answered, returning her smile.  "Want some help?"

"Sure," she replied, coming into my office.  She cocked her head a little and said, "Did you talk to your brother?"  She sat down on a clear spot on my desk and kicked her legs a little, bumping her toes gently against my shins.  I slid a hand down her bare calf and gripped her heel, pulling her foot into my lap.

She sighed happily as I began to massage the arch of her foot.  "I did," I answered carefully.  She arched one eyebrow as if to say, "okay, annnnnd?"  "It went...better than I expected."  I don't know what I was trying to avoid talking about my brother with her.  I always wanted her to be more open with me, I should probably give her the same.  But for some reason, talking about my relationship with my brother was just hard.

"That's good," said said.  She was still watching me curiously.

I moved her foot back down to dangle and took the other one.  "I wasn't sure what to expect, and it didn't start off very well, but by the end it was better.  He was sure to let me know that you're too good for me."  She looked surprised.  "He's used to women coming in and out of my life--both by my doing and theirs, but mostly mine.  And he's...Well, he's just Ken.  In his own weird way, he was probably trying to protect you from me.  Now that he knows for sure that I'm serious, I think things would go a lot differently."

"Hmmmm," she murmured, not sounding convinced.  And I couldn't say I blamed her.

"I know," I replied.  "I don't expect you to have any positive feelings for him until he earns them."

"I'm open to giving it a shot," she said, finally.

I wrapped my hands around the tops of her calves and pulled my chair closer to her.  She propped one foot on either armrest of my chair as I let my forearms rest on her thighs.  Her hands slid from my wrists all the way up to my shoulders.  "Thank you," I said graciously.  "That's all I can ask of you."  I moved my hands to her hips and pulled her closer to the edge of my desk.  My fingers slipped underneath the hem of her shirt and brushed across her bare skin.  I dropped my head down and pressed my lips to the smooth skin of her leg.

"I'm hungry," she protested half-heartedly.

"So am I," I replied, lightly biting her inner thigh.  She wound her fingers into my hair, keeping my head close to her leg.  "Food?" I asked.  I caught the edge of her shorts in my teeth and tugged gently.  "Or....?"  As I waited for her to decide, I slid my tongue along the skin just below the hem of her shorts.

"Food can wait," she groaned, wrapping her legs around my back and pulling me even closer.  She lifted her hips so I could pull her shorts off.

"Good decision," I said with a grin.

"We'll see about that," she teased me.  "I'm awfully hungry so you'd better--" she stopped with a sharp intake of breath as my mouth roamed to flesh that had previously been covered.

I paused and looked up at her.  "Make it worth it?" I finished for her.

She nodded, tightening her fingers in my hair.  "Oh, I will," I promised.

I Didn't Want it to be Weird

The plan for this week:  I have two more posts planned for sure.  One is from Brody's perspective, and will be up on Tuesday or Wednesday, and the other is a regular storyline post, which will be up Thursday or Friday.  At some point I'd like to get back to having some posts in reserve so I can actually keep a schedule, but for now I'll just keep letting you guys know.  You can always count on a post sometime on Sunday, and one at the end of the week, and I'm trying to get one up midweek when I can as well.  
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When we left after dinner with Brody's mom, my head was spinning, and I don't think it was just the wine we'd had with our meal.  Brody kept up a steady stream of chit-chat on the drive home and I tried to keep up.  He didn't seem to mind doing the majority of the talking and I gladly let him.

When we got home, I said, "I think I'm going to take a bath."

Brody looked at me carefully.  "Okay.  Is everything okay?"

"Yes," I said, smiling.  "I'm just a little overwhelmed by the last couple days and I need to wind down a little."  My inner introvert needed my "me time".

Brody kissed me softly and said, "Okay.  Want a glass of wine?"

"That sounds good."

He kissed me again and turned me towards the stairs.  "Go.  I'll open something and bring it up for you."

"And that's why I'm marrying you," I said over my shoulder as I walked up the stairs.  I heard him laugh as he went towards the stairs to the lower level to find a bottle of wine.

I had just settled into a bath with a lavender scented bath bomb when Brody knocked lightly on the door and stepped into the now steamy bathroom.  He handed me an almost completely full glass of wine.  "Well, that's a little more than a glass," I said with a chuckle, taking it gratefully.

"It's a liberal pour," he agreed.  He leaned down to kiss my cheek but I turned my head so our lips met instead.

"Thank you," I said.

He smiled.  "You're welcome, enjoy your bath." He left the bathroom, shutting the door quietly behind him.  I took a long drink of my wine and then set it on the edge of the tub and shut my eyes.

I was in the tub long enough to have to drain some of the water and add more hot water to warm it up.  By the time I got out, dried off, and wrapped my robe around me as I walked into the bedroom, Brody was laying in bed playing on his phone.  I could feel his eyes on me as I shed my robe and pulled on one of his t-shirts that I had commandeered months earlier.  I hung up my robe and climbed into bed.  Brody set his phone aside as I laid down next to him and settled my head onto his chest.

"Feel better?" he asked wrapping his arms around me.

"Mmmhmm," I murmured, nodding.

"Good."  He stroked the back of my arm with one hand while he reached over and turned off the lamp.  "Tomorrow should be interesting."  During dinner we had rather hastily arranged brunch plans with Lauren, Alex, and Kinsley.  They were the only people that had responded.  I assumed Kinsley would bring Damien, as well.

"Yes, it should be," I agreed.  I yawned and we shifted into a more comfortable sleeping position.  It didn't take long for me to fall asleep.

I was still sleeping soundly when Brody's phone woke me up.  I fell back asleep as soon as he was out of the room with it, and barely woke up when he got back in bed.  I didn't wake up again until my alarm went off, telling us we had to get up and get ready for brunch.

I rolled over and groaned, and felt Brody sit up next to me.  I was constantly jealous of his ability to go from asleep to awake and moving so quickly.  He leaned over and rubbed my back.  "I'll shower first," he said.  I nodded, my face buried in the pillow still.  Not a morning person.

I laid there, slowly waking up, until I heard the shower turn off.  Then I forced myself into a sitting position.  By the time Brody emerged from the bathroom I was ready to get out of bed.  I took a quick shower, more to help myself wake up than anything, and dried off.  I got dressed quickly and put on just a little bit of makeup.

I could smell coffee as I wandered downstairs, and I gratefully took the cup that Brody handed me when I came into the kitchen.  By the time we made it to the restaurant for brunch, I was fully awake and excited to share our news with our friends.

We were the first ones there and we were quickly seated at a table for 6.  I texted Lauren and Kinsley to let them know where we were sitting.  We had just ordered drinks when Lauren and Alex arrived, and Damien and Kinsley came shortly after.  Once everyone was settled and had drinks, Lauren said, "Why didn't you guys come out last night?"

Brody and I exchanged glances, and Lauren furrowed her brow curiously.  "We were having dinner with my mom," Brody said.  Lauren looked at him like, "so what?"

"And then we went home," I continued, "Because we were both a little worn out from getting engaged."

Lauren's jaw dropped and Kinsley's head snapped up from the menu she was reading.  Alex grinned and held up a hand to high five Brody, which caused me to roll my eyes and laugh.  "Well let's see it," Lauren demanded, waving vaguely at my left arm, the hand of which was concealed under the table.

I moved my hand above the height of the table and Lauren grabbed it, pulling it towards her.  "Holy shit," she said, tilting my hand to admire the ring.  She looked up and Brody and nodded. "Nicely done."

"Thank you," Brody said.

Kinsley snatched my hand away from Lauren while Damien met my eyes.  "Congratulations," he said, smiling.

"Yeah, congratulations," Alex echoed.

"Thank you," Brody and I said at the same time, which made me laugh again.

"So, tell us how you did it!" Kinsley said excitedly.  I had told the story to Jen, so I let Brody tell our friends.

When he was finished with the story, Lauren said, "That proposal was perfect for you."

"It was," I agreed.  "But remember what you had to say about our second date?"  I smirked, remembering Lauren's words that hiking was a terrible second date.

"Well, yeah, because hiking on a second date is just wrong," she insisted.  "But you guys are a little beyond that now, aren't you?"  I chuckled and shook my head.

It didn't take long before Kinsley and Lauren were being bombarding us with standard wedding questions, like did we have a date in mind?  Were we going to do it here or in Wisconsin?  "Ease up," Alex scolded Lauren.  "They've been engaged for less than 48 hours."  Lauren pouted briefly before rebounding and easily changing the subject.

It didn't stop her from pelting me with more questions when we went to the bathroom a little later though.  "Lauren, I don't know," I said finally.  "We haven't talked about it yet.  I mean, a few weeks ago we'd kind of talked through what we wanted and didn't want, but we haven't talked about it since we've been officially engaged.  When we figure it out, you'll know."

"Okay," she said, shrugging.

It was beautiful outside, so after brunch, Brody and I wandered around a nearby park for awhile before heading home.  I called Lynn as he drove.  Of course, she knew it was coming because she'd given Brody some input on the ring, but he hadn't told her his plans.

"Hi, Liv!" she answered cheerfully when I called.

"Hi, Lynn," I returned her greeting.  "How are you?"

"I'm good," she replied.  "How are you?"  I was impressed with her ability to keep up a normal conversation, even though I knew she was probably dying to know if I was calling because he had proposed, or just randomly calling.

I tortured her a little by making normal chit chat for awhile, to see how dedicated she was.  She didn't say a thing to potentially give away the knowledge she had.  Finally, I put her out of her misery and said, "Well, I'm calling to tell you that Brody proposed--"

She didn't even let me finish before she said, "You whore!  You knew I knew and you were testing me to see how long I could last!"

I burst into laughter and once I had caught my breath I said, "Guilty as charged, you're an excellent secret keeper.  We might need to have a conversation about your loyalties though."

"By keeping his secret, I was being loyal to you," she argued playfully.  "You wouldn't have wanted the surprise ruined!"

"You're right.  Thank you for helping him.  The ring is amazing, and the proposal was perfect."  I told her the proposal story, which she had apparently tried to get out of Brody but he refused to share his plans.

"I was hoping you'd be engaged before you came home for the 4th," she said excitedly.  "What did your mom say?"

"She asked if I pregnant," I replied.

Lynn snorted.  "Of course she did.  Always a class act, that Karen."  We laughed.  We chatted for a couple more minutes then hung up.  When we got home, I sat next to Brody while he called Jack and told him.  Jack was surprised, but excited, and insisted on talking to me to say congratulations as well.  It was sweet.  Then I called Kendra, while Brody called Christian.  I listened while Brody called Kevin after that.

"Do you have work you need to do?" I asked Brody after he hung up.

"I always have work to do," he said.  "But it's Sunday."

I shrugged.  "That's true, it is Sunday.  But if you need to get some stuff done, I'm good with that.  We spent all Friday and all yesterday, plus this morning together.  I think you've earned some time to do some work.  If you wanted to, I mean."

Brody looked at me carefully.  "What will you do this afternoon then?" he asked.

"I have a few more phone calls to make.  I should call my parents again, and Amy.  I guess I should probably tell John before someone else does, and James.  Then I'll probably sit downstairs and read for awhile.  I'll be fine."  I silently willed him to agree.  I wanted to finish up my phone calls and decompress a little.  The bath last night had helped but I was wound up and needed some more alone time.

"Okay," he said, after studying my face for several seconds.  I smiled and kissed him.  He stood and wandered back to his office and I picked up my phone.

I called my parents first, and when they answered I started making my way downstairs.  My mom was much more excited today, and apologized profusely for her reaction yesterday.  She insisted I apologize to Brody on her behalf as well.  Then the questions started again.  When?  Where?  I patiently told her we hadn't figured it out yet, but once we had, she'd be the first to know.  When I got her off the phone, I called Amy.  She didn't answer, so I sent her a text with a picture of the ring.

I called James next.  I wasn't really expecting him to answer, but he surprised me.  "Hi, Olivia," he said, picking up on the third ring.

"Hi," I replied.  We hadn't spoken much since everything had happened with Cassie, besides the one night he'd been out.  Even that night we hadn't talked much.  "Um, I wanted to let you know that Brody and I got engaged," I said awkwardly.  There was a weird distance in our friendship now, but I still felt like he deserved to hear it from me and not from Damien.

"That's great, congratulations," he said warmly, evaporating some of my anxiety.

"Thanks," I replied.  He asked how he did it, and I repeated the story that I now felt like I had told a hundred times, even though that was a gross exaggeration.  He stopped short of asking all the annoying questions I had no answers to, and I was grateful for that.  We chatted for a few minutes and then I awkwardly asked, "Have you...have you talked to Cassie much?"

"Yeah," he replied.  "We talk a couple times a week.  I've seen her a few times.  She's working on getting things back on track, and she's doing well."  He paused for several seconds and then said, "She misses you, you know.  I don't expect you to forgive her, but if you ever did, she'd probably be happy to hear from you."

"I'll keep that in mind.  I'm glad to hear she's doing well," I replied, a little stiffly.  I don't know what I expected by asking.  We said goodbye shortly after and I hung up.

I looked down at my phone, dreading the next call.  I had debated in my head if I should call John and tell him or not.  I heard from him occasionally, and I was sure I'd see him at some point when we were back in Wisconsin in a couple weeks.  I had decided it would be less awkward for both of us if I told him myself prior to that.

I found him in my contacts, his number no longer popping easily into my head.  I hit send and waited anxiously while it rang.  He didn't answer, and I hung up without leaving a message.  I tossed my phone aside and grabbed my Kindle, settling onto the chaise in my little library.

I hadn't been reading long when my phone rang.  It was Amy, and she was really excited.  I repeated the proposal story for her and we talked about my upcoming visit.  We made some loose plans to get together.  Once we hung up, I was able to relax, getting sucked into my book.  I hoped that John just didn't call back.  Hey, at least I tried, right?

But, it wasn't that easy, of course.  Nearly an hour after I had called him, he called me back.  I took a deep breath and answered.  "Hey," I said.

"Hi, you called?  You didn't leave a message, so I didn't know if you needed something, or..." he trailed off, sounding about as awkward as I felt.

"Yeah, kind of.  I mean, I just wanted to let you know that my boyfriend proposed and I said yes, and I'll be back in a couple weeks and I didn't want it to be weird, so I thought I should probably tell you."  I stopped, recognizing that I was rambling like an idiot.

"Oh," he said.  I waited, desperately wanting him to say more.  Maybe this was a bad idea.  Maybe I should have let him find out from Amy or Lynn or someone else.  Would I have wanted him to tell me if he was engaged?  I honestly had no idea.

"Yeah, so I just didn't want it be weird, but I clearly failed at that, so..."  I filled the silence, willing him to say something to give me an out in this conversation.

"Well, that's great, Liv," he said finally.  "Congratulations."

"Thanks," I replied.  And then my mouth had a mind of its own, and I just kept talking.  "Look, maybe I shouldn't have called, I just didn't want you to find out from someone else and have it be weird, I guess I didn't really think about how it would go, I'm sorry if you'd have preferred for me to not call.  I just think--"

"Liv," he cut me off, chuckling a little.  "I'm not sure what you want from me.  I mean, It's cool.  I appreciate you wanting to tell me.  I think you failed miserably at making it not weird, but making things weird has always been one of your talents.  Your intentions were good.  I just don't have much to say about it, but I think that's okay."

"Yeah," I said.  "Yeah, of course that's okay.  I don't want anything from you, I just wanted you to know."  I stopped myself before I could ramble nonsensically any more than I already had.

"Alright, Liv.  Thanks for calling.  Maybe I'll see you in a couple weeks."

"Yeah," I repeated.  "Maybe.  Bye, John."  He hung up without saying goodbye, not that that was entirely out of character for him.  I rubbed my forehead and realized that by trying to make it not weird, I had achieved exactly the opposite.  This had been about as awkward as it could be.  I wished I hadn't called at all.

Sharing the News

When I woke up in the morning, my first thought was, "Where the hell am I?"  My second thought, once the events of the night before came rushing back to me, was, "Holy shit, I have a fiancé."  My early morning thoughts are not classy.

I laid still, not wanting to ruin my own early morning enjoyment of knowing that the man that was sleeping pressed against me was now my fiancé.  I could feel Brody's chest rising and falling as he breathed deeply and evenly.  When he shifted in his sleep, I lightly stroked his forearm, which was draped across my stomach.  His arm immediately tightened around me and he pressed his face into my hair before brushing it out of the way and kissing my shoulder.

"Good morning, fiancée," he mumbled sleepily, his lips moving against my skin.

I laughed softly.  "Good morning," I replied.

He yawned, then he asked, "Yesterday really happened, right?"

"You tell me, you're the one that did it," I teased him.

"I was nervous you'd say no," he confessed.

I wiggled out of his grip and rolled over to face him.  I frowned and said, "Really?"

He laughed.  "Yes, really.  Liv, 3 months ago you ran out of my house and crashed your car because I suggested you move in with me."  Oh, right.  "Things have all changed really fast and I was worried that maybe we weren't where I thought we were after all.  I'm honestly not sure what changed so quickly. Not that I'm not happy about it, of course," he added hastily.

I shrugged, which is a difficult thing to do when you're laying on your side.  "I'm not entirely sure either," I admitted.  "My feelings about everything really started to change when everything with your dad happened.  I mean, not my feelings about you, because even that day that I freaked out about moving in, I still knew I wanted to marry you....someday.  But I guess something about everything that happened helped my anxiety about the situation go away.  And helped me realize I was probably a lot more ready than I rationally thought I should be.  So I stopped trying to logic my way out of it."  I finished with another half shrug.

He pushed a piece of hair out of my face and smiled when it immediately fell back in front of my eyes.  He pushed it back again, tucking it carefully behind my ear.  "Well I'm glad you put your logic away, then," he said.  He kissed me, then rolled onto his back, pulling me towards him.  I settled in next to him with my head on his chest and we laid there until we had to get up to check out.

Once we were in the car on the way back, much less tired than we had been last night, he said, "What's the plan for telling people?"

"We're having dinner with your mom tonight, right?" I asked.  He nodded.  "So we can obviously tell her then.  We can call my parents.  Should we call your sister before dinner?  It'll be late there by the time we're done."

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to hold off on telling people for a little bit so we can tell your parents in person?"

I shook my head.  "No, we can call them.  I'd rather tell them over the phone than in person.  My mom doesn't do surprises well.  I mean, I'm assuming they don't know...?"

"They don't," he confirmed.  "I thought about calling them, but then I realized that asking your dad's permission or blessing is probably something you actually wouldn't be a fan of, so I decided not to."

I smiled.  "Well, now I can definitely marry you.  You know me well.  I suppose you also planned this trip to Wisconsin to coincide with this whole proposal thing, huh?"

He chuckled.  "Busted," he said.  "I miscounted your Fridays off though, and I didn't think we'd have an entire two weeks to wait.  So I really am okay with it if you want to wait."

"Seriously, I'd prefer to tell them on the phone.  You'll see."  He shrugged.  I tilted my hand so the diamond in the ring caught the sunlight shining through the window.  I grinned and wiggled my finger, watching the pretty stone sparkle.  "I feel like an idiot, and I don't even care," I said, experimentally turning my hand and watching the dozens of tiny reflections glint along the ceiling of the car.  Brody glanced at me briefly and laughed.

I amused myself with admiring my ring most of the rest of the way home.  Once we got home, put away the stuff from yesterday's outing, and settled in a little, we called my parents.  My mom answered and I asked her to have my dad pick up the other phone.  Once they were both on, I put them on speaker and shared our news.  "Mom, Dad, Brody proposed to me yesterday.  We're engaged!"

"Are you pregnant?" my mom blurted out immediately.  Brody's eyes widened and he looked at the phone like, "what the hell?"  I smirked and gave him my best "told ya so" look.

"Karen!" my dad exclaimed.

"What?  It's a legitimate question," my mom retorted.

"No, Mom, I'm not pregnant," I said patiently.

"Well, then I don't understand why you're engaged already.  We've only known about him since December.  He seems really great, but you don't need to rush.  Have you set a date?  Will you be getting married back home?  You should have a long engagement, so you can make sure this is what you want.  Are you happy?  This isn't about money, is it?  Do you need some money?"

"Karen!" my dad said again.  "The poor girl has been engaged for less than 24 hours, ease up on her.  Sweetie, we're really happy for you.  Congratulations!  Is Brody there?"

"I'm here," he said, and I pressed my lips together to hold back a giggle, imagining my mom's horrified facial expression as she realized that he probably heard everything she had just said.

"Congratulations," my dad said, this time directing it to Brody.  "We're just a little surprised, and I apologize for my wife's, um, lack of tact."

"It's no problem," Brody replied smoothly.  "I understand that this seems really fast, and a little surprising, but I promise you that there is nothing I care about more than your daughter's happiness."  I rolled my eyes, he was really laying it on thick.  He frowned and mouthed, "It's true!"

"Of course," my mom said, seeming to have finally gathered her wits.  "I'm so sorry, I say ridiculous things when I'm caught off guard.  We're thrilled!  Oh!  And we'll get to celebrate with you when you come home, that's great!"  I snorted.  Brody was apparently a master parent manipulator.  He gave me a smug grin and I just shook my head.  I talked to my parents for a couple more minutes and then told them we had some more phone calls to make and I'd call them tomorrow.

"See?" I said to Brody once we'd hung up.  "She needs some time to process stuff like that.  I hope she didn't upset you.  I promise it would have been worse in person."

"It takes more than a surprised mother to hurt my feelings," Brody assured me.  We decided we'd call his sister, then we'd wait and tell our friends in person.  I was bummed I wouldn't get to tell Lynn in person, but the news wouldn't hold until I made it home.  I'd call her after I'd told Lauren.

"What about your brother?" I asked tentatively, as Brody was scrolling through his contacts to find Jen.

"I'll call him tomorrow," Brody said dismissively.  "It will probably go even better than telling your mom.  Ready to call Jen?"  I nodded, cringing as I remembered the way Ken had talked to me at Thanksgiving.  He put his phone on speaker mid-ring, and it rang 3 times, then 4.  "Of all the times to not--"

"My favorite brother!" came Jen's voice, finally.

"And his new fiancée," Brody answered.

"What?" Jen said, confused.  "Wait, what?!"  Then she shrieked, and her words became completely unintelligible.  "Oh my god," she was saying, as she calmed down again.  "Liv?"

"Hi," I answered, feeling a little shy.  Her reaction was so opposite from my mom's.

"Is he kidding?" she asked.

"No," I replied.  "He proposed yesterday."

She shrieked again, then said, "Congrats!  Tell me everything!  How'd he do it?  He didn't cheap out on the ring, did he?  He better not have, I will kill him!  I'm so excited, oh my god!"

I laughed and now it was Brody's turn to roll his eyes.  I told her the condensed version of how he'd proposed then said, "He definitely didn't cheap out on the ring, it's amazing.  And thank you, I'm so happy that you're so excited about this."

"Liv, you have to send me a picture of the ring," she said excitedly.  "Do you still have my number?"
I started to say no, then remembered that she had given it to me in Miami.  "I think so," I replied, scrolling through my phone.  I found it and confirmed that I had it.  "I'll try to get a good picture of it for you."

"Meanwhile, everyone's forgotten about me," Brody said.

"Shhhh, I'm trying to talk to your fiancée," Jen said.  "We told you, we like her better than you."

"I don't blame you, to be honest," he replied.

Jen laughed.  "Seriously, Brody, congratulations.  I'm so excited for you guys!  Have you told mom yet?"

"Not yet. We're having dinner with her tonight, so we'll get to tell her in person."

"She's going to be over the moon," Jen assured us.

I was still nervous as we drove into town to meet Brody's mom at the restaurant she'd chosen.  "Are you okay?" Brody asked, looking over at me.

I nodded, even though his eyes were already back on the road.  "Just a little nervous," I admitted.

"I don't know why," he replied, reaching for my hand.  "My mom likes you better than she likes me.  She's going to be really happy."  He squeezed my hand.

Even after Jen's reaction, I still wasn't prepared for Thalia's.  After Brody and I both hugged her hello outside the restaurant, Brody lifted my left hand up, drawing his mom's attention to it.  She looked at my hand for several seconds, then looked up at him, then to me.  Then she looked back down at my hand, and when she looked up again, I could see tears in her eyes.  "We're getting married, Mom," Brody said softly.

Her face split into a wide grin and she hugged Brody first, then me.  When she had her arms wrapped tightly around me, she whispered, "Congratulations sweetheart, my son is so lucky to have you, and I'm so happy that you're going to officially be a part of our family."

"Thank you," I said back quietly.  "I'm pretty lucky too, and I can't wait to be part of your family."  I felt my own tears pricking the backs of my eyes and I squeezed them shut, hoping to avoid ruining my eye makeup.  I felt Brody's hand find my lower back, and it rested there reassuringly.  By the time Thalia had let me go, she was full on crying, and she promptly scolded Brody for making her cry before dinner.

"See?" he said to me.  "You get a 'welcome to the family,' and I get in trouble for making her cry.  You had nothing to worry about."

"You were worried?" Thalia asked me in surprise.

"No," I said, blushing.  "Just a little nervous to tell you, that's all."

She smiled.  "I'm just so happy for you both," she said sincerely.  "Should we eat?"  We nodded and followed her into the restaurant.  Brody slid an arm around my waist and pulled me close to him, kissing me on the cheek as we waited to be seated.

Thalia was clearly excited and every once in awhile she'd said something like, "I'm so happy."  It was a little overwhelming, but I was incredibly touched at how happy she and Jen were for me to be a part of their family.  I wondered briefly how Brody's dad would have responded, and I felt inexplicably sad, even though I knew his response would have been less than favorable.

When Thalia got up to go to the bathroom, Brody squeezed my leg and said, "Hanging in there?  She's a little over the top tonight."

"She's wonderful," I replied.  "I feel so welcomed into your family."  Brody smiled and kissed me on the cheek again.  Then he pulled out his phone and frowned at it.

"Alex wants to know if we want to go out tonight," Brody said.  I made a face and he chuckled.  "I'll take that as a no?  I don't really want to either.  Maybe we can talk them into brunch tomorrow."  I agreed to that plan, and Brody texted back.  Tonight, I just wanted to go home and relax and enjoy my fiancé.  

Perfect Sunset 2.0

I haven't posted an unplanned bonus in awhile, so here's one for your Thursday :)  Enjoy!  I will still post on Friday, but it will probably be Friday evening.
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The next week was a blur.  Work was busy.  I hung out with Lauren on Monday evening, picked up Brody from the airport on Tuesday, spent a quiet night at home with him on Wednesday, and went to happy hour (without him) on Thursday.  He stopped in for 15 minutes at the end of happy hour to say hi and pick me up, but had stayed at work to try to get stuff done in anticipation for being off most of the next day.  I tried to insist that we reschedule our hiking date but he refused.  Luckily, he at least felt confident that the lawsuit against his dad's company would get settled without going to court, so he was less stressed about that.

When I woke up Friday morning, Brody was already gone.  He'd left me a note next to my phone on my nightstand that said, "Sorry I didn't say goodbye, I didn't want to wake you. I'll be home around noon.  I love you."  I smiled and stretched, thinking about laying in bed for a little bit longer.

I was ready to go when Brody got home a little after 12.  He kissed me hello and went upstairs to change.  "Have you eaten yet?" I called up to him.  He yelled back that he hadn't.  I dug through the fridge for sandwich stuff and made sandwiches for each of us.  Brody was quiet while we ate.  "Everything okay?" I asked him.

His eyes, which had been directed over my shoulder, slid to meet mine.  "Yeah," he replied, smiling.  "Sorry, just thinking about work.  I'll stop."

"Is something going on at work?" I pried gently.

He shook his head.  "No, just the usual.  I'm just a little distracted."  He stood up with his empty plate and kissed me on the cheek as he took it over to the dishwasher.  He pulled open the fridge and grabbed an apple and sat back down while I finished my sandwich. 

He seemed less distracted and chatted with me easily while we drove.  "Where are we going?" I asked.

"I wanted to go back to where I took you last year on our second date, is that okay?" he replied.

I grinned.  "That sounds great."  The drive went fast and we quickly set out on the same trail we had hiked that day, almost a year ago.  We hadn't been back here since then, oddly enough, and was a little overwhelmed by the memories of that day.  I contemplated how even though everything wasn't brand new anymore like it was that day, I still felt amazingly lucky to be here with Brody.

He stopped me at the same spot we had stopped the first time we were here and pulled me close to him for a smoldering kiss that left me a little breathless.

"What was that for?" I asked, after we had separated.

"Because you're beautiful and I love you," he said simply, grabbing my hand and pulling me on down the trail.  When we made it back to the car, Brody grinned.  "Just in time again," he said.  He pulled open my car door and ushered me in, then drove up to the nearly hidden turnoff a few miles off the road.  He jumped out and grabbed a blanket and a cooler from the back.  We walked down the barely visible to the clearing where we had eaten and watched the sun set just under a year ago.

He pulled stuff out of the cooler and I quickly recognized the same spread from that night as well.  Sparkling wine, water, fruit, cheese, crackers, hummus, olives, and smoked salmon.  "Running out of creativity in your old age?" I teased him.

He laughed.  "Do you remember what you said to me when I dropped you off that night?"

I thought for a second.  "Hmmm, I think I invited you in because I wanted to finish what we started while we should have been watching the sun set."

He shook his head, trying not to laugh again.  "You did, but after that?"  I made a face and shrugged.  "You said it was the best date you'd ever been on.  I just wanted you have another best date."

"But why?" I blurted out.  My face immediately got warm as I realized that was not a good response.

Brody rolled his eyes.  "You don't have a romantic bone in your body, do you?" he asked.  I shook my head sheepishly.  He leaned over and kissed me lightly.  "That's okay, I still like you."  We both laughed and started eating.

When we finished, I helped Brody pack everything back into the cooler and then leaned against him, enjoying the cool air.  We sat silently for a couple minutes before Brody said, "Do you know what today is?"  I panicked slightly, thinking hard about what day it could possibly be.  Finally, I had to admit that I had no idea.  "A year ago today is the day we met," he replied softly.  I pulled back and looked at him.  He was staring at me intensely, and I felt weird.  I couldn't believe it had been a year since we met.

"Do you know what I realized that day?" he asked.  I shook my head silently, suddenly feeling inexplicably nervous.  "I realized that if I wanted a chance with you, I was going to have to change some things about the way I was living my life.  It was one of the best decisions I've ever made."  I swallowed hard, not really sure how to respond.

Turns out, a response wasn't required, and my eyes widened as Brody shifted away from me and moved until he was on one knee in front of me.  My head spun as he pulled something out of his pocket.  "Holy shit," I muttered under my breath.

"The reason I wanted to give you another perfect date today," he said, his voice shaking slightly, "is because I want you to remember this as the best date of your life...until it's replaced by the day we get married."  I stared at him.  "Will you marry me, Liv?"  I continued to stare at him, simultaneously feeling like I was going to throw up and cry and shriek with joy and surprise.  I realized he was waiting for an answer.  I couldn't make words happen, so I just nodded. 

He moved back over to the spot I was frozen to and kissed me.  I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him back, but was disappointed when he pulled away.  "Not quite finished here," he said, smiling.  He held up the object in his hand and I realized it was a ring box.  It was open, and the ring inside nearly made my eyes bug out of my head.  It was a split shank ring, with diamonds lining the band and a large, round diamond in a four prong setting, giving it a vaguely squared appearance.  "I hope you like it," he said softly.  "Lynn helped, from afar."  It was exactly what I would have picked out myself, and I told him so.  He smiled and slid it onto my finger.  I was surprised to find it fit perfectly.

"How did you...?" I asked, turning my hand to admire the ring.

He grinned at me.  "I 'borrowed' the ring you sometimes wear on your right hand.  The jeweler sized it and made this one half a size smaller.  Apparently most people's left hand fingers are a little smaller then the right.  If it's not right we can get it re-sized tomorrow."

I shook my head.  "It's perfect."  I was suddenly completely overwhelmed at the amount of thought and planning he had put into this without me ever knowing, and I couldn't stop a tear from sliding down my cheek.

Brody tipped my chin up, forcing my eyes up to his from where they were locked onto the ring.  "Happy tears?" he asked.  I nodded.  "Good."  I flung my arms around him and kissed him.  He sat and pulled me onto his lap.  A couple minutes later, we sent my almost full glass of sparkling wine flying as we shifted around to get our pants off.  It briefly occurred to me that we were in the middle of a rapidly darkening mountain clearing but that thought quickly left my mind as I slid down onto him, his crossed legs cradling my hips, my legs wrapped around his back.

"Ohh, fuck," I groaned, rocking my hips against his.  Our position put us perfectly face-to-face and our eyes locked together for a brief, intense second before we were kissing again.  He moved his mouth off mine to kiss my neck, my collarbone and my shoulder, but I pulled his face back to mine to stifle my moans against his lips as I came, my legs trembling around him.  He continued to rock his hips against mine, then pressed his face into my neck when his body started to tense beneath mine as he finished.  I found his earlobe with my teeth and tugged gently on it.  He let out a low growl and sunk his teeth into my shoulder, pulling my hips hard against his and shuddering.  I gasped and rocked my hips desperately against his.  He slid a hand between us and the other up to my hair, tilting my head gently to the side.  His thumb worked against me while his teeth moved gently--and sometimes not so gently--across my shoulder and neck, quickly bringing me to another orgasm. 

I was still gasping for breath, my forehead against Brody's shoulder, when he lifted me off of him.  "We should go," he said.  "It's dark."  I looked around, realizing through my daze that it was indeed dark.  He stood and reached down to me, pulling me to my feet.  My legs were shaking slightly as I grabbed my stuff. 

We made our way carefully back to the car.  Brody yawned as he drove.  "Do you want me to drive?" I asked.

He considered for a minute.  "Do you just want to get a room and stay?  I don't want to sit in the car all the way back to Denver."  It was nearly an hour, and there was a small town just a few miles away from where we were, if I remembered correctly.  We decided that was a good plan, and 20 minutes later we were putting our stuff down in a small but clean room in one of the tiny motels in town.

We took a long, hot shower together and fell into bed to have sex one more time.   After, Brody produced a t-shirt and shorts for me to wear from the gym bag he keeps in his car.  I sniffed them suspiciously.  "They're clean!" he protested with a laugh.  "I promise."  They looked clean enough, but I'm a firm believer in not trusting anything that comes out of a man's gym bag without doing my own research.  Luckily, they smelled clean too.  I pulled them on and tightened the drawstring of the shorts in a feeble attempt to get them to not slide off my hips.  Brody pulled out another pair of shorts for himself.

I sat on the edge of the bed, staring at my left ring finger.  Brody sat next to me and took my hand, tilting it gently so the diamond caught the light and glinted perfectly.  "It's beautiful," I said softly.  "It's...big.  I--"

Brody cut me off with two fingers against my lips.  "Stop right there.  I know what you're going to say and I don't even want to hear it.  I actually wanted to get something bigger, but Lynn pointed out that you would likely kill me and probably hate it.  So I already spent less than I was planning and I want you to let me spoil you without protesting for once."

"Okay," I relented with a small smile.  "Thank you.  It really is perfect, and I love it.  And I loved everything about today, even if I don't have a romantic bone in my body.  And I love you."

"I love you," he replied, kissing me.  He stood up and pulled something else out of his bag.  "I hope your agreement to let me spoil you will extend to enjoying this bottle of champagne with me."

I reached for the bottle, looking at it carefully.  I am huge fan of champagne (and definitely have a weakness for really good champagne) but I didn't recognize the expensive looking bottle.  And everything on the label was in French.  "How is it cold?  I didn't see this in the cooler."

"You didn't see the other cooler I had in the storage compartment in back," he said with a smirk, taking the bottle back from me and working on the top.  "Champagne connoisseurs would probably be horrified that I chilled it in a cooler full of ice, but you've got to work with what you've got."

I shook my head.  "You really did think of everything."  I accepted the champagne flute he handed me and took a sip.  "Wow, this is really good," I said appreciatively.   I set it down on the nightstand and climbed under the blankets, pulling the pillows up behind me to cushion my back as I leaned against the headboard.  "Did you even go to work this morning?" I asked, as he climbed into bed and settled next to me, champagne in hand.

"Nope," he replied, reaching for my hand and entwining his fingers with mine.

"You're pretty sneaky," I responded with a laugh.  "I didn't suspect anything.  You seriously surprised me."  I took another sip of the amazing champagne and settled my head against his shoulder.

We finished our champagne in comfortable quiet and settled into bed.  We'd have a few phone calls to family and friends to make this weekend, but for now I was content to simply enjoy sleeping next to my brand new fiancé.