tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81005317328989870762024-02-08T07:48:43.318-06:00New Beginning, New AdventuresOlivia has just graduated from grad school, gotten a new job, and moved to a new city. Follow her on her (fictional) new adventure!New Beginning, New Adventureshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08101349742999957739noreply@blogger.comBlogger348125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8100531732898987076.post-19213801789902634552020-07-23T16:02:00.000-05:002020-07-23T16:02:10.764-05:00Hello!Hello, friends! Don't get too excited, I'll tell you right away I'm not here to tell you that I'm bringing Liv and Brody or Kinsley and Lauren back. I'm sorry!<br />
<br />
However, I am writing again! This time, it's a non-fiction blog, and I'm pretty excited about it. I am starting a new blog to chronicle my solo hiking, camping, and traveling adventures. I'll be writing this one under my real name and using my real experiences, so I won't be posting the link here, but if anyone is interested enough in following that blog to send me an email at newbeginningnewadventures@gmail.com, I will happily share the link to the new blog with you!<br />
<br />
I hope you're all staying safe, sane, and healthy during the recent world crises. I miss interacting with you and I wish I had the imagination to give this blog some more life, but I am definitely creatived-out at this point! On to real life :)New Beginning, New Adventureshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08101349742999957739noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8100531732898987076.post-32626011513102786712017-04-29T21:24:00.002-05:002017-04-29T21:24:47.016-05:00The Reunion (Liv): Are They Ever Wrong?<i>Hey all! Thanks for sticking around :) Since I'm not really writing along any sort of real storyline anymore, this post takes a jump about two years into the future. Enjoy!</i><br />
<i>_______________________________</i><br />
<br />
"I have good news!" Brody said cheerfully when I answered his call.<br />
<br />
"You're bringing me back some real cheese curds?" I asked. Brody was currently in Milwaukee, working on a new contract. I missed Wisconsin cheese curds.<br />
<br />
Brody laughed. "I can do that too, so I guess I have double good news. Everything is going really well, so I'll be back tomorrow instead of Saturday."<br />
<br />
"That is good news!" I agreed. "Though I can't promise the house will be clean. I've been exhausted this week."<br />
<br />
"I don't care even a little about the state of the house, I'm just looking forward to seeing you," he said. "My flight gets in at 7:05, maybe we can get dinner together on the way home?" <br />
<br />
"That sounds great!"<br />
<br />
We talked for a few more minutes and then we hung up so we could both get to bed. The next day, when school was done at 2:50, signaling the end of my work day, I calculated that if I went straight home, I could nap for an hour and a half before I had to shower and get ready to go pick up Brody. I had no idea why I was so tired this week. <br />
<br />
I let Eddie out, then brought him upstairs with me. We fell asleep with ease and I grumbled when my alarm went off. I hauled myself out of bed and into the shower, then re-straightened my hair and put on some light makeup. It was an unseasonably warm February day, so I pulled on a navy polka dot dress, a gray cardigan, and tights. It had been awhile since I'd gotten dressed up just for the hell of it, and I had a lot more energy after my nap. <br />
<br />
I got to the airport at 6:50 and parked in the cell phone lot, waiting to hear from Brody. I was glad he never checked bags for these short trips, because I was eager to see him. He'd only been gone for 3 days, but we'd both had a busy week before that and hadn't gotten to spend much time together then either. Brody's work schedule was so much more reasonable now, but we both got swamped from time to time.<br />
<br />
I got a text from him at 7:11 saying that he was getting off the plane, so I drove over to arrivals to find him. I only had to wait a few minutes before I spotted him. "Hi!" I exclaimed, jumping out of the car and throwing my arms around him. "I missed you."<br />
<br />
"Well, hello!" he said with a laugh, hugging me with the arm that wasn't holding his carry-on. "I missed you too, Liv." He kissed the top of my head, then my forehead, then my lips when I tilted my head up. <br />
<br />
I dragged myself away so we could get in the car and get out of the airport. My stomach was rumbling and I needed some dinner soon. "How was your flight?" I asked Brody as I pulled away from the curb.<br />
<br />
"It was alright," he replied, rubbing the spot between his eyebrows tiredly. "There was a screaming baby right behind me. I felt terrible for his parents, but also for my ears."<br />
<br />
I snorted. "That does make for a rather miserable flight," I agreed. "I promise I won't do any screaming tonight."<br />
<br />
Brody opened his mouth, closed it, opened it, and closed it again, shaking his head and laughing. "Not going to touch that one," he said. <br />
<br />
My face turned red as I laughed with him. "I mean, I guess that would be up to you." <br />
<br />
Brody snorted and reached across the center console for my hand. "I know I was only gone a few days, but I really missed you."<br />
<br />
"I missed you too," I told him, glancing at him and smiling. We figured out where to go for dinner and I navigated there easily, finally able to get around this city without an issue. It taken long enough.<br />
<br />
We got lucky and didn't even have to wait for a table. It was nice to eat and relax with Brody after a busy week. I yawned several times over dessert, prompting Brody to offer to drive home. "Long day?" he asked.<br />
<br />
"I've just been so tired this week," I said, shaking my head. <br />
<br />
I closed my eyes and the next thing I knew, Brody was gently shaking me awake. "We're home," he told me softly. <br />
<br />
"Mmm, I knew that," I mumbled sleepily. "I wasn't sleeping." <br />
<br />
Brody laughed as he pulled his carry-on out of the back. "Okay," he replied. "Then we'd better get you to bed so you <i>can </i>sleep."<br />
<br />
Eddie jumped around like a crazy dog when Brody and I came inside. "Hey bud!" Brody said, crouch down to rub his ears. Eddie licked Brody's face and wiggled excitedly. "I missed you too, were you a good boy for Liv?" Eddie wiggled harder and let out a sharp bark, clearly indicating he was the best boy. "I'll let him out, go get ready for bed," Brody said to me.<br />
<br />
"No, you just got home, and I know you want to shower. I can let him out," I protested. <br />
<br />
In the end, Brody won, and I trudged upstairs to wash off my makeup and brush my teeth while Brody went out on the deck with Eddie. By the time I was done, Brody was in the bedroom, throwing some things from his suitcase into the laundry basket. He kissed me on his way past me into the bathroom. "I'm just going to take a quick shower, okay?" I nodded and climbed into bed. <br />
<br />
I made myself stay awake while I waited for Brody to get out of the shower. When he got into bed I rolled to face him and my lips found his in the dark. "Hi," I said between kisses.<br />
<br />
"I didn't think you would have any energy," he replied with a chuckle, moving his lips to my neck. "Not that I'm complaining."<br />
<br />
"Shut up and kiss me, or you'll miss your chance," I warned him. He laughed and kissed me hard, rolling over until he was on top of me, between my legs. I had just enough energy for one round of sex, and then I happily fell asleep in Brody's arms.<br />
<br />
I didn't even wake up when Brody got up in the morning. When I did wake up, I rolled over, confused by the emptiness of the bed next to me. I squinted at the clock, surprised to see it was 9:30. Brody had probably been up for hours.<br />
<br />
"Good morning, beautiful," he greeted me with a smile when I made my way downstairs.<br />
<br />
"Morning," I grumbled. <br />
<br />
"Want some breakfast? Eggs, maybe?"<br />
<br />
My stomach turned at the thought of eggs and I shook my head. "Just coffee," I said, frowning and sitting down at the table. Eddie trotted over to me and laid his head in my lap. I rubbed it briefly. When I stopped, he nudged me and whined softly. "Down," I commanded him. He laid down, but he looked at me reproachfully and whined again. <br />
<br />
Brody looked at me with concern. "Are you feeling alright?"<br />
<br />
"Yeah, my stomach is just a little upset," I said, rubbing my forehead. <br />
<br />
Brody frowned. "Well, drinking just coffee on an empty stomach isn't going to help," he pointed out. "Toast?"<br />
<br />
"Sure," I agreed. I yawned. I was so tired. Brody, saint that he was, made me some toast and coffee and brought both to me. <br />
<br />
When I gagged a little on my first bite of toast, Brody said, "Do you think maybe you should take a test?"<br />
<br />
"I'm not pregnant," I replied, choking down another bite of toast. My stomach roiled angrily and I set the uneaten toast down on the plate Brody had provided. "I don't feel pregnant."<br />
<br />
"Sweetheart, you don't know what 'pregnant' feels like," Brody pointed out gently.<br />
<br />
He had a point. I didn't. Despite us spending the last 8 months trying to get pregnant, I still had no idea what being pregnant felt like. I'd <i>thought </i>I was pregnant. Several times, in fact. Each time, I convinced myself that this was it, that I was absolutely, positively, without a shadow of a doubt pregnant. And each time, I filled the bathroom garbage with First Response pregnancy tests with just one line. Well, after the third time that happened, I'd switched to cheaper tests. <br />
<br />
"Maybe if I still feel like this tomorrow," I said, finally. I <i>had</i> felt a little sick the last couple mornings too.<br />
<br />
Brody kissed the top of my head as I attempted another bite of toast, then said, "Sounds like a plan. I'm going to get a little bit of work done, and then I'm all yours after lunch, okay?"<br />
<br />
"Okay," I agreed, smiling at him. <br />
<br />
I had been planning on going to the gym and then the grocery store this morning, but I was so tired and nauseated that I decided to just go back to bed for a little while. The toast had settled my stomach a bit and I fell back to sleep fairly easily. When I woke up, I felt much better. <br />
<br />
Feeling more curious than anything, I decided to listen to Brody's suggestion and pulled a pregnancy test out of a drawer in the bathroom. I left the test on the counter to process while I jumped in the shower. I rushed through my shower, realizing I needed to know what the test said <i>right now.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Still dripping water, with a towel hastily wrapped around me, I took a deep breath and looked at the test. "Oh my god," I whispered. Then, "<i>Brody!" </i>Not sure if he'd heard me all the way down in his office, I stuck my head out of the bathroom, into our room, and yelled again. <i>"BRODY!" </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Turned out it wasn't necessary, and he appeared breathlessly in our room not 3 seconds later. "Are you okay?" he asked me, looking alarmed. "Liv? What's wrong?"<br />
<br />
Finding myself suddenly unable to speak, I waved him into the bathroom and motioned at the counter. Brody looked at the pregnancy test, then at me, and then at the test again. Then he put one hand on either side of my face. "Two lines means...you're pregnant?"<br />
<br />
I nodded as much as I could with Brody's hands on my face. "I'm pregnant," I confirmed, a lump rising in my throat. <br />
<br />
"You're pregnant," Brody repeated. <br />
<br />
"I'm pregnant."<br />
<br />
We stared at each other for several more seconds before Brody's face split into a huge grin and he wrapped his arms around me. By the time he let go, I was crying, and his eyes weren't exactly dry either. He backed out of the bathroom, tugging me with him. Brody sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled me down onto his lap. Wrapping one arm around me, he touched my stomach lightly with the fingers of his other hand. "Do you think..." he started, looking up at me. "I mean, are they ever wrong? The tests?"<br />
<br />
I shrugged. "Sometimes? Maybe? I guess I don't really know. I could take another one."<br />
<br />
"Not right now," he said quickly. He spread his hand flat across my stomach and stared at it in wonder. "It doesn't look like you're pregnant."<br />
<br />
I laughed. "Well, I'm sure that will change," I told him, leaning against him and resting my cheek against the top of his head. <br />
<br />
Brody shifted me off his lap and stood, pulling me against him. "I love you so much, Liv," he said. Then he crouched in front of me until he was eye level with my stomach and said, "And I love you."<br />
<br />
I bit my lip and looked down at him, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. "I love you, too," I said softly, pulling him to his feet before I lost it completely. Just then, Eddie wandered in, happily panting away. He bounded over and nudged both of our legs before laying down and rolling onto his side, looking up at us. I laughed. "I love you, too, Eddie," I said, bending to rub his belly. <br />
<br />
Brody shook his head. "You sure know how to steal a lady's thunder, Ed," he said, sitting on the floor and rubbing behind Eddie's ear. Eddie whined and shoved his head against Brody's hand, leaning into it. I joined them on the floor, snuggling against Brody's side as Eddie stretched himself across our laps. "We're going to have a baby," Brody said softly, kissing the top of my head.<br />
<br />
"Yeah," I agreed. "We are." <br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
New Beginning, New Adventureshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08101349742999957739noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8100531732898987076.post-13437076403292528802017-04-23T22:52:00.000-05:002017-04-23T22:52:39.688-05:00The Reunion (Kinsley)"Nooo," I groaned, rolling onto my side and pulling the blanket up to my face. "Too early, even for me."<br />
<br />
"You warned me that you'd argue," Damien pointed out, pulling the blanket down to my knees. "And you told me to persist. C'mon, let's get up and run."<br />
<br />
I let out a noise that was half sigh, half rabid growl. Opening my eyes as little as possible, I reached for my phone. "It's 4:59," I whined. "It's not even 5!" <br />
<br />
Damien paused, his eyes on his watch. "It is now," he said with a grin, 20 seconds later. "Up!"<br />
<br />
"I hate you and everything else," I informed him, rubbing pathetically at my eyes, which I couldn't seem to open. "Fuck."<br />
<br />
Damien had talked me into a signing up for a 10k with him. I'm not even a little bit sure how I let that happen, but at this moment I was not pleased about it. "You know," I muttered, swinging my legs over the side of the bed and maybe-or-maybe-not-accidentally kicking him in the hip as I did so, "Some of us prefer to exercise in the evenings."<br />
<br />
"But I love running with you when you have such a great attitude about it," he said, straight-faced. "And in the evening you're sort of cheerful. It's awful."<br />
<br />
"Oh, I can give you attitude any time you want," I retorted, pulling a tank top out of my drawer. I tossed it on the bed and opened the next drawer. "Where are all my fucking shorts?"<br />
<br />
"Probably in the large pile of dirty laundry you have," Damien pointed out helpfully. I chose to say nothing, instead just giving him a withering look. He laughed and kissed my cheek. "Coffee?"<br />
<br />
"It's the least you could do," I grumbled.<br />
<br />
By the time I had some passably clean-ish shorts and my tank top on, Damien had a cup of coffee for me. I drank half of it in a couple gulps, then set it down on the counter. "Okay," I said. "Let's get it over with."<br />
<br />
Oddly enough, after the run, a shower, and more coffee, I felt significantly better. Good, even. "Isn't it great to have your workout done already?" Damien asked, coming out of my bathroom with a towel around his waist.<br />
<br />
I eyed that towel hungrily and said, "I mean, I still have some energy left if--"<br />
<br />
"Tonight," Damien promised. "I have to get ready and get out of here."<br />
<br />
I frowned. "Fine, but I'm going to hold you to it!" <br />
<br />
"We'll see who is holding who to what later," he replied, leaning down to kiss me. <br />
<br />
I groaned. "You're cruel!" I exclaimed as he straightened. "Now I'm going to be thinking about it all day." <br />
<br />
"You make that sound like a bad thing," he said with a shrug. "I'll see you tonight. What time are we meeting Kaleb and his girlfriend?"<br />
<br />
"6:30," I said, standing up to kiss him one more time before he left. <br />
<br />
Damien let his lips linger on mine, and I wasn't entirely sure I could make it through an entire work day and dinner with my brother and his new girlfriend before getting my hands on him. "I'll be there," he told me, breaking into my inappropriate thoughts. <br />
<br />
We said goodbye and I finished getting ready for work. I really did feel great after our run this morning. It probably helped that I really was a morning person. Just not a 5am morning person. <br />
<br />
My work day went fairly fast, though I was slightly nervous about meeting Kaleb's new girlfriend. My relationship with my brother was still so new itself, I wasn't terribly sure about adding a new person to the mix. But Kaleb was so excited to introduce me to Ellen, so I felt bad for being so hesitant. <br />
<br />
I left work about 10 minutes before 6 and got to the restaurant about 15 minutes early. I put our name on the list and for a table and went to the bar, hoping a drink would help settle my nerves. I ordered a run and coke and sipped it slowly, because an appearance by Drunk Kinsley would be the worst thing for the evening.<br />
<br />
A gentle hand on my shoulder startled me, and I looked up to see Damien. "Sorry," he said guiltily. "I should have known better than to sneak up on you."<br />
<br />
"It's okay," I said, tilting my chin up for a quick kiss. "Hi."<br />
<br />
"Hi," he replied, smiling. He sat down on the empty stool next to me and started to say something else, but then I saw Kaleb come in with a tall, pretty brunette. I stood up and waved to him and they came over. <br />
<br />
Kaleb smiled at us, and I recognized the line between his eyebrows. He was just as nervous as I was. "Hey!" I greeted them. "Kaleb, you remember Damien, right?" Kaleb had only spent time with Damien once (outside the disastrous Thanksgiving that had reintroduced me to Kaleb in the first place) and it had been awhile.<br />
<br />
"Of course, good to see you again," Kaleb said, shaking his hand. "This is my girlfriend Ellen. Ellen, this is my sister Kinsley and her boyfriend Damien." <br />
<br />
"Hi, nice to meet you," she said, smiling shyly. <br />
<br />
"Nice to meet you too," I said, taking her outstretched hand. Just then, my phone buzzed with a text from the restaurant letting us know our table was ready. Technology.<br />
<br />
I was really glad Damien was there, because without him, our dinner would have been really awkward. As it was, Kaleb and I were still awkward at times, and Ellen was quiet. Damien could talk to anyone, and I was grateful for that. I loosened up by the time our food came, and I chatted with Kaleb and Ellen, getting to know her. "How did you guys meet?" I asked.<br />
<br />
Ellen blushed and Kaleb laughed. "I love this story," Kaleb said. "I was at a bar with some buddies, and I was standing behind Ellen, waiting to get a drink. Her friend grabbed her ass, and she thought it was me, so she slapped me." Ellen's face was a color that I've only ever seen on Liv's. "Luckily, I thought she was pretty, so I didn't hold it against her."<br />
<br />
"One of these days I'm going to make something up. Maybe something that's embarrassing to you!" Ellen exclaimed, but she was laughing. <br />
<br />
"I met Kinsley when my friend ran into her friend and knocked her drink on the ground. That's not nearly as good of a story," Damien said.<br />
<br />
"It gets better if you add in that we only got together because your friend pretty much stalked my friend for the next couple weeks," I pointed out.<br />
<br />
Damien laughed. "To this day, James maintains that was all purely coincidental." <br />
<br />
Ellen and Kaleb had to leave right after dinner, but Damien and I moved back to the bar to have another drink. "She seems nice," I said. "I'm glad I got to meet her."<br />
<br />
"You and Kaleb seem a little more comfortable," Damien replied. It had been a long and awkward road for Kaleb and I to reconnect, but we were both determined to push through it. We'd been through a lot together and then had been out of communication for so long, some discomfort was to be expected. <br />
<br />
We finished our drinks and then headed to Damien's house. When we got there, Damien looked in the fridge and brought us both a beer. Luckily it was Friday, so it didn't matter if I got a little tipsy. I took the beer and took a long drink before I settled against Damien on the couch. We didn't talk, both of us tired after a long week and an early morning. We didn't need to, either. It was one of the things I loved most about Damien--we could simply sit together silently and enjoy being with each other without feeling pressured to make conversation when it wasn't flowing naturally. <br />
<br />
After I tipped the last of the beer into my mouth, Damien gently pulled the empty bottle from my fingers and set it on the end table. "Ready for bed?" he asked. I nodded, closing my eyes. Several seconds later, Damien chuckled. "You need to get up if we're going to bed," he said. <br />
<br />
"Right," I replied, still making no move to get up. Damien shifted so he could stand, then leaned down and before I could stop him, he scooped me up. I laughed. "Put me down, I'll walk!"<br />
<br />
"Missed your chance," he said, walking to his bedroom with me in his arms. He set me down on the bed and climbed on with me, kneeling above me as he kissed me. "Still have some energy left?" he asked, pulling his lips from mine and kissing along my jaw to my neck. <br />
<br />
"Always," I responded, wrapping my hand around the back of his neck. I sighed contentedly as his continued to kiss down my neck and then along the neckline of my shirt. 30 seconds later, and most of my clothes were scattered around the bed. He teased one nipple with his teeth and tongue, lightly gripped the hair at the back of my head with one hand, and used the other hand to stroke between my legs. He got me close, then stopped suddenly, leaving me groaning in frustration. <br />
<br />
I watched him pull his clothes off and grinned at him as he got back in bed, positioning himself between my legs. He reached down and stroked me again until I was back to the point of nearly orgasming, then moved his hand and pushed into me. I gasped and gripped his arms, and it didn't take long for me to come, digging my nails into his triceps and burying my face in his shoulder. He thrust for several more seconds before pulling out, flipping me onto my stomach, and slamming back into me. I came again a few minutes later, and he followed close behind. <br />
<br />
"I can't believe you made me wait all day for that," I groaned, my face pressed into the pillow. <br />
<br />
"Well it would have been really inappropriate to do that at the restaurant," he replied. <br />
<br />
I rolled over and smacked him with the pillow. "Really?" <br />
<br />
He laughed and reached for me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer. "Really," he said, trying to be serious. <br />
<br />
I rolled my eyes in the dark, settling against him. We laid cuddled together for about 10 minutes before my yawning took over and I wiggled away. "Goodnight, Damien," I mumbled, getting comfortable on my side of the bed.<br />
<br />
"Goodnight, Kinsley," he said, leaning over to plant a kiss on my forehead and then one on my lips, lingering gently. Between the early wake up, the long run that morning, the alcohol, and the sex, I was asleep by the time his lips left mine.<br />
<br />
<br />New Beginning, New Adventureshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08101349742999957739noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8100531732898987076.post-20260230972040072062017-03-09T19:36:00.000-06:002017-03-09T19:36:23.998-06:00I'm still here!Hi all,<br />
I'm sorry for my absence. I've been swamped at work and gone on weekends. I'm not sure when I'll be able to post again, but I hope in the next week or so. I miss writing, and I have a few posts partially written, so I'm still planning to post a few more, I just need some more time. This is why I had to stop writing regularly, unfortunately. The good news is my job will be changing a bit in a couple months and my life will hopefully go back to normal(ish) then!<br />
<br />
Thanks for your patience! New Beginning, New Adventureshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08101349742999957739noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8100531732898987076.post-83882323728950353782017-02-19T19:26:00.001-06:002017-02-19T19:26:54.668-06:00No post this weekHi all, so far I've actually managed a post a week (give or take a day or two) but it's looking very unlikely that I'll get one out this week. I just wanted to let you all know so you're not checking this week. Check back next week! Thanks for your readership!New Beginning, New Adventureshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08101349742999957739noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8100531732898987076.post-17591608734248495742017-02-12T22:24:00.000-06:002017-02-12T22:24:57.120-06:00The Reunion (Lauren): House Hunting"I hate this kitchen," I say, looking around and wrinkling my nose.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Alex cocks an eyebrow at me and snorts. "You hardly even cook, Laur, why does the kitchen matter?"</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"The kitchen is where you entertain people," I reply, rolling my eyes. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Now Alex just laughs. "You don't do much of that either," he points out.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I huff in irritation and wander towards the next room. "Well someday maybe I will."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Our realtor isn't hiding his disdain for my attitude and I don't blame him. "Hey," Alex says quietly, out of earshot of the realtor. He lightly touches my back and I glance at him. "What's up?"</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"I'm frustrated," I tell him, sighing and briefly leaning my head onto his shoulder. "This sucks."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"It does," he replies, kissing the top of my head. "Let's get through this one and then I'll take you out to dinner. I think you might be hangry."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I glare at him from the corner of my eye and stalk into the living room. This house is laid out stupidly. I frown at one of the windows. "This window frame is <i>moldy.</i> I'm done here."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Sorry," I hear Alex say to our realtor. He catches up with me (impressively quickly, he's well-recovered from his skiing accident) and hisses, "Would you cut it out? You can be honest without being bitchy."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I bite my tongue to keep from snapping back at him, because he's absolutely right. "I'm sorry, Rick," I say repentantly to our realtor. "I think the process is getting to me."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Maybe you guys should take a break," Rick suggests. "Even just a few weeks." He must really be over my bullshit if he's passing up an opportunity to make money. Or, maybe he senses the futility of the situation and thinks he's wasting his time. I'm not sure he's wrong, at this point. Anything I like, Alex hates. Anything Alex likes, I don't. There have been lots of jokes of side by side townhomes and having nothing in common. It's not really funny anymore, though.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"We'll talk it over at dinner and let you know what we want to do," Alex answers, nudging me towards the door with a hand on my lower back. </div>
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I say goodbye to Rick and walk out to the car with Alex. Alex opens the passenger door for me and I manage a smile as I slide inside. Once I'm settled into the seat I sigh and push my hands into my hair. "Alex, I'm sorry," I tell him when he gets in the car. "I just feel like we've been looking forever."<br />
<br />
He laughs. "It's only been a few months, Lauren. But it has been frustrating. With me recovering from my accident and getting back to work, and you starting a new job, maybe it isn't the best time to be looking for a house."<br />
<br />
I stay quiet for a minute, then say, "So what are you saying?"<br />
<br />
"Maybe we should put things on hold for awhile," he replies. "You can get a little more settled in your job, and we can try again in the fall."<br />
<br />
"And until then?"<br />
<br />
He shrugs. "We keep things how they are. You've got your place, I have mine."<br />
<br />
I consider this, but I'm not sure I love that idea either. "I need food before we can have this conversation, I think," I respond. <br />
<br />
"Well I probably should have fed you before we even looked at that house," Alex says with a smirk. "So I'll definitely feed you before pushing you into any conversation about our future."<br />
<br />
I glare at him, and even though he's looking at the road, he laughs. I'm sure he can feel my eyeballs boring into his head. "So much wit, so few brains."<br />
<br />
"You're right, I should know better than to provoke you when you're hungry." He reaches over the center console for my hand and I let him take it, winding my fingers through his.<br />
<br />
Once Alex and I have drinks and an appetizer in front of us, I say, "Well, taking a break from looking for a house seems like a good idea."<br />
<br />
"I agree," Alex replies with a nod. <br />
<br />
"Well I imagine you would," I tell him, matter of factly. "So in the meantime it just makes sense for me to move in with you."<br />
<br />
Alex, who is taking a drink, sputters and coughs. He sets his drink down and grabs his napkin. Once he's gotten it together, he says, "I'm sorry, I think maybe I misheard you. Did you just say it makes sense for you to move in with me?" For once, he wasn't being sarcastic.<br />
<br />
"Yes," I say, rolling my eyes. "That's what I said. Unless you don't want me to."<br />
<br />
Alex shakes his head. "Of course I want you to," he replies quickly. "I'm just a bit surprised."<br />
<br />
I shrug and take a sip of my drink. "Well why pay for two places when we spend most every night together anyway? And I thought about my place, but yours is closer to work for both of us and there's a bit more room, even if your house is laid out inefficiently."<br />
<br />
"Oh, my house is inefficient? That seems like a significant issue. Are you sure you can handle it?"<br />
<br />
I purse my lips and sigh. "Of course, it won't be as big of an issue if I have more room because I've killed you for your insolence."<br />
<br />
Alex laughs, shaking his head as our food arrives. "I knew my mouth was going to get me in trouble eventually."<br />
<br />
Once our waiter is a safe distance away, I smirk and say, "Your mouth can make up for its bad behavior later."<br />
<br />
Alex cocks an eyebrow and nods knowingly. "If you're lucky." <br />
<br />
<br />
On the way out, Alex says, "So, shall we stay at your new place tonight or your old one? Maybe the old one, so you can savor your last nights there?"<br />
<br />
"Well at the rate you're going, I won't be having a new place, I'll just stay at the old one. Forever."<br />
<br />
Alex slings his arm around my shoulders and kisses my cheek. "I love you, Laur."<br />
<br />
"I love you too," I say, nestling into him in a rare show of public affection. "Let's stay at my place."<br />
<br />
We stop at Alex's to pick up some clothes for him for tomorrow, then head to my place. When we get there, he settles onto the couch, but I have other plans. "I believe your mouth has some redeeming itself to do," I remind him, straddling his lap carefully. He claims to feel great, but I'm still paranoid about hurting him. <br />
<br />
"That's right," he replies, dropping his head to kiss along my collarbone. "I should have known you wouldn't let me forget." <br />
<br />
"Shut up and kiss me," I demand. <br />
<br />
Alex laughs and obliges me, grinning as he presses his lips to mine. "Let's go upstairs," he whispers, letting his lips trail along my jaw to my neck. "This couch is terrible. We're keeping mine."<br />
<br />
I gasp in indignation and smack his arm lightly. "Fine, but my bed is the clear winner over yours."<br />
<br />
"I think we'd better test it out, I don't remember," he replies, gripping my hips and shifting his weight so I could stand. <br />
<br />
I lead him upstairs and into my room, and I'm turning around to kiss him again when he shoves me onto the bed. The skirt of my flimsy summer sundress flips up around my upper thighs as I land, laughing. "Well?" I ask, cocking an eyebrow at him. "You've got me here, now what?"<br />
<br />
He climbs onto the bed, nudging my legs apart slightly with his knee as he positions himself above me. "Now my mouth pays its penance." He kisses me softly, then moves his lips to my neck. I groan softly as he gently nips at my sensitive skin before moving lower. His mouth glides along the neckline of my dress while his hands slide beneath the skirt. He tugs my thong down, dragging his fingertips along my thighs as he removes it and lets it fall to the floor. When his fingers slip back under my skirt, I gasp. Alex teases me until I'm practically begging for more. He finally positions himself between my thighs but continues to tease me by trailing kisses up and down my inner thighs. When I grab his head to try to pull it closer, he grabs my wrists and pins them to the bed next to my hips. "Patience," he says, his breath warm against my skin.<br />
<br />
When he finally puts his mouth where I want it, my orgasm takes less than a minute. I'm so worked up by that point that he probably could have gotten me off by merely breathing on me. I'm glad he doesn't waste any time after that getting rid of his pants. He pushes into me while I'm still twitching from my orgasm, not even bother to take off his shirt or my dress. We're in a weird spot at the edge of the bed but it doesn't matter.<br />
<br />
When we're done, we get re-situated on the bed and I turn my head to the side to look at him. "You're right," he says, settling against the pillows. "Your bed is better."<br />
<br />
"I know," I reply, smirking.<br />
<br />
He rolls his eyes, but laughs. "So hey, if you want to think about moving in with me a little before you decide for sure--"<br />
<br />
"I already thought about it, and I already decided," I interrupt. I push myself up on one elbow and narrow my eyes. "Unless <i>you </i>need some time to think about it."<br />
<br />
"Absolutely not," he replies immediately. "I've wanted you to move in for a long time. I'm still just surprised."<br />
<br />
"Well get over it," I say, "And make me some room in your pathetic closet."<br />
<br />
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New Beginning, New Adventureshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08101349742999957739noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8100531732898987076.post-4870188600925394522017-02-02T23:30:00.000-06:002017-02-02T23:30:26.977-06:00The Reunion (Liv): Not My Style"I can't believe you <i>chose </i>to work when you can just hang out for the summer. Do you know how many people would kill for a schedule like that?!" Lauren was baffled by the fact that I had begged my bosses for some work to do to keep myself busy. They had happily put me to work about 10 hours a week, which was perfect. <br />
<br />
"I would hate it," Kinsley said, nodding at me. "I get it. I think too much when I don't have enough to do."<br />
<br />
I laughed. "It was great for two weeks," I said. "But that's enough. I never realized how many hobbies I <i>don't </i>have until I suddenly had time to do them. Or not do them, as it were. And it doesn't help that Brody works about a thousand hours a week and you guys both have jobs and boyfriends and lives and can't entertain me all the time."<br />
<br />
"Speaking of boyfriends," Kinsley said, grinning wickedly at Lauren, "How's the cohabitation space search going?"<br />
<br />
"That," Lauren said, sighing. "Not well. We found a place and we put in an offer and lost it in a bidding war. Then we found another place, our offer was accepted, but they found significant issues with the pipes during the inspection. We looked at a rental that I really liked but Alex hated. And then of course, a bunch of places that sucked."<br />
<br />
"That sucks," I said, frowning. "You're staying month to month at your townhome then, right?"<br />
<br />
"Yeah," Lauren replied. "But I hate being in limbo."<br />
<br />
Lauren, Kinsley, and I hung out at the restaurant for awhile after we were done eating, finishing our drinks and chatting. After we ate, I went to the grocery store, not in any hurry to get home to an empty house. <br />
<br />
When I got home, I was surprised to find Brody's SUV in the garage. "Brody?" I called, struggling through the door with grocery bags in hand. I was halfway to the kitchen when Brody appeared from his office. <br />
<br />
"Hi, gorgeous," he said, kissing me on the cheek as he took the grocery bags from my hands. <br />
<br />
"What are you doing home?" I asked. "I mean, not that I'm not thrilled to see you. Because I am."<br />
<br />
Brody laughed. "A likely story. I came home awhile ago because I wasn't feeling very well. Annnnd then I realized I hadn't eaten all day. I was fine once I ate, so I've just been working here."<br />
<br />
"You need to take better care of yourself," I said, frowning at him in concern. <br />
<br />
"Don't worry," he assured me. "I don't anticipate it happening again. I mean, how could it, with a fridge full of your delicious cooking?" He squeezed my arm and kissed me, then started to put groceries away. I helped him, putting the dry things away in the pantry while he put stuff in the fridge. "Anyway, listen. Pete asked me to support a charity that's important to him, and since he's important to me, I'm going to do it."<br />
<br />
"Well, that seems like a good idea," I replied.<br />
<br />
"I thought so," he said, grinning. "At least until I found out that he asked me just in time for their annual fundraising event. Which I now have to go to."<br />
<br />
I laughed, trying to picture Brody at a formal charity event. It definitely seemed like something he would hate. "Well, have fun with that," I said. <br />
<br />
"Oh no," he replied, shaking his head. "One doesn't go to a charity event without a date."<br />
<br />
"And I suppose that means I get to be your date, huh?" I asked.<br />
<br />
"I'd be honored," he said with a wink.<br />
<br />
I couldn't say no to that. "Fine," I agreed. "But you'll have to be reeeaaallllyyyy nice to me between now and then."<br />
<br />
"How nice are we talking here?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow and taking a step towards me. "Like, taking the garbage out without being asked nice? Buying you diamonds nice?"<br />
<br />
I laughed. "You already take the garbage out without being asked," I pointed out. "Diamonds aren't necessary. How about a massage? That seems like a good compromise."<br />
<br />
"Well, a massage doesn't really seem like a middle ground between taking the garbage out and buying you diamonds, but I think I can handle that."<br />
<br />
"Good!" I said. I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the stairs.<br />
<br />
"Oh, you meant now," Brody said, feigning surprise. "Hmmm, I'm not so sure I can--" He stopped, laughing when I turned and glared at him. He pulled me to a stop and tugged me closer to him, wrapping his arms around my waist and grinning at me. <br />
<br />
"You're lucky you're cute," I told him, pursing my lips to try to keep myself from returning his smile. <br />
He grinned wider. "So lucky," he replied, leaning down to kiss me. <br />
<br />
"That massage isn't happening, is it?" I asked, barely moving my lips from his.<br />
<br />
"Nope," he replied, moving his mouth along my jaw, to my ear, and down my neck. "Not tonight. I owe you one." <br />
<br />
*<br />
<br />
"I feel like an imposter," I groaned, watching Lauren fix one last piece of hair. She'd pinned it to one side, leaving loose waves out in strategic places. I smoothed my hands down the midsection of my navy <a href="https://www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/badgley_mischka/navy_petunia_gown" target="_blank">gown</a>, feeling far more nervous than the situation called for.<br />
<br />
"You don't <i>look </i>like an imposter," she said, smiling at her handiwork in the mirror. "I mean, this is some of my best work."<br />
<br />
I laughed. "You did do a great job," I said. "Thank you. I would have looked ridiculous in this dress without my hair properly done."<br />
<br />
Lauren started to respond, but a soft knock at the open door interrupted her. "Almost ready?" Brody asked. I turned towards him and watched his mouth drop open slightly. "<i>Wow," </i>he said, looking me over. "You look unbelievably amazing."<br />
<br />
"Thank you," Lauren said, before I could respond. "I've been working out."<br />
<br />
"Go home, Lauren," I said, laughing. <br />
<br />
"Some thanks," she huffed, gathering her bobby pins and hair spray.<br />
<br />
I rolled my eyes. "Thank you, I love you, now go home so my husband can properly appreciate your hard work!"<br />
<br />
The look of horror on her face was perfect. "I'm already gone," she said. "I don't want anything to do with your marital appreciation."<br />
<br />
"I wish I had more time to properly appreciate you right now," Brody told me after she was gone. "But I assure you that I'm looking forward to getting that dress off of you later."<br />
<br />
"I kind of like it," I said, checking myself out in the mirror one last time. "I might just keep it on forever."<br />
<br />
Brody frowned. "Well, that would be tragic, though you are quite gorgeous with it on." I laughed and nudged him out the door, thanking him as we walked downstairs. <br />
<br />
"I feel kind of ridiculous," I admitted. "This isn't really my style."<br />
<br />
"You're not the only one," he said. "I can't believe I let myself get talked into this. Though it's a good cause and the exposure is good for my company."<br />
<br />
"Oh please. You can charm anyone. I'm the idiot that will ramble and say embarrassing things. Oh god, please promise to pinch me if I start to ramble. Don't let me look like an idiot tonight!"<br />
<br />
Brody laughed. "I promise. No one is going to look like an idiot."<br />
<br />
When we got to the event, we immediately headed for the bar. I was grateful to have a glass of wine in my hand, mostly because it gave me something to do with my hands. "There you two are," came a familiar voice behind us, as we moved away from the bar.<br />
<br />
We turned to see Pete and his wife, Serena. "You clean up well, Pete!" Brody said, grinning and shaking his hand. Brody kissed Serena on the cheek and then she lightly hugged me. I may have felt awkward and out of place, but Serena looked like she knew exactly what she was doing.<br />
<br />
We made small talk for a couple minutes before Pete dragged Brody off to introduce him to someone. Serena and I stayed near the bar chatting until Brody and Pete returned. "There's a surprising number of people here I know," Brody said, looking around.<br />
<br />
"You know everyone, so I'm not sure why that's surprising," I pointed out. <br />
<br />
He grinned. He knew it was true. "Walk with me?" he requested, holding his arm out to me. I took it and as we walked across the room, Brody said, "I was so distracted by how beautiful you look that I forgot to tell you my good news." I looked at him expectantly. "We filled the last open position today."<br />
<br />
"So..." I said, not sure I wanted to say out loud what I thought that meant.<br />
<br />
"So there's an actual end in sight for my ridiculous hours now," he said. "She'll start in 3 weeks, and I think about 2 weeks after that I'm going to start cutting down my hours and seeing how it goes. I'm already working on shifting some of my responsibilities to the team leads."<br />
<br />
"That is so exciting!" I replied. "I mean, selfishly, I'm really glad that I'll get to have you around a little more. But I'm also really excited for you. You've worked so hard."<br />
<br />
"Brody!" someone called, before he could respond. Brody turned and smiled at someone. He introduced me to the man, who was apparently a Denver Broncos cornerback. "Your husband is the best PR I've ever had," he told me, grinning. "And I went through quite a few before him."<br />
<br />
"That's why I'm keeping you when we restructure," Brody said, laughing. "I'm not going to let you run through my team."<br />
<br />
"I told him he works too hard but he won't listen to me," the cornerback said to me. <br />
<br />
"Join the club," I said with a chuckle. "He won't listen to me either."<br />
<br />
The rest of the evening was much of the same: smiling through introductions, making small talk with the many people at the event that Brody knew, and wishing I had worn more comfortable shoes. But the food was good, the bar was open, and I even had a little bit of fun.<br />
<br />
"Well, what did you think?" Brody asked as we got in his SUV at the end of the night.<br />
<br />
I groaned, slipping my heels off. "Well, I think I need to invest in some more comfortable shoes if we ever do this again."<br />
<br />
"Again?" he asked. <br />
<br />
"I said 'if'," I reminded him.<br />
<br />
"You also said 'again'," he replied, and I could see his smirk even in the dark.<br />
<br />
I laughed. "It wasn't so bad," I admitted.<br />
<br />
"I agree," he replied. "It didn't hurt that I happened to have the most beautiful date there."<br />
<br />
I snorted and shook my head as he reached for my hand over the center console. "Flattery will get you everywhere, I suppose."<br />
<br />
"I can only hope," he said, winking at me.<br />
<br />New Beginning, New Adventureshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08101349742999957739noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8100531732898987076.post-82454900871061479142017-01-29T12:11:00.005-06:002017-01-29T12:11:47.946-06:00The Reunion (Liv): Summer<i>Hi all! I'm glad you enjoyed the first post. Just wanted to let you know I'm not posting on any sort of schedule here. I'm shooting for about one post a week, but I make no promises. I have a handful of ideas so I'm looking at maybe 10-12 total posts? We'll see how carried away I get :)</i><br />
<i>_____________________________________</i><br />
<br />
I was composing an email to my boss, asking if there was anything I could do to pick up a few hours over the summer. Groups, writing assessments, anything but sitting around being unproductive, when Brody called. "Hey you," I said cheerfully. "Will you be home for dinner tonight?"<br />
<br />
"I won't," he said. "In fact, I won't be home until late, that's why I'm calling." I sighed, disappointed. "Wait a second before you get too upset," he urged me. "I'm staying late tonight so I can take tomorrow and Monday off to spend with you at the cabin."<br />
<br />
"Really?"<br />
<br />
"Of course, would I lie about that?" he asked. "Don't wait up for me, okay? Get some sleep, and we'll leave tomorrow morning. I'm not even taking my phone with me." <br />
<br />
"Okay, well, if that's the case I suppose I can manage on my own tonight," I replied, grinning. <br />
<br />
I fell asleep around 10, but woke up when Brody came in, because he stubbed his toe on the dresser and swore. I groaned and rolled over. "Brody?" I croaked. <br />
<br />
"Sorry," he said softly. <br />
<br />
"What time is it?" I asked, my voice muffled by sleep and the pillow.<br />
<br />
I felt the mattress sink under him. "You don't want to know," he replied, stroking my back. "I'm sorry I woke you."<br />
<br />
"S'okay," I mumbled. "Come to bed."<br />
<br />
"Just a minute," he replied. I felt his lips on my cheek, and then the mattress moved again as he stood up. I heard him go into the bathroom, and I rolled over and tried to fall back to sleep. But despite my best efforts, I was now awake. <br />
<br />
Brody was in bed in a couple minutes and I snuggled up to him. "How was your day?" I asked. "Besides long." <br />
<br />
"It was pretty good, actually," he replied. "Everything is really coming together. I think I'm going to be able to work some more normal hours really soon."<br />
<br />
"Yeah?" I asked, lifting my head to look at him. "I really hope so."<br />
<br />
"Me too," he said. I nestled into him, shifting a little closer. Brody pulled me tightly against him, and I soon fell back to sleep. <br />
<br />
Amazingly, Brody was still up before me. He was out drinking coffee on the deck with Eddie when I made my way downstairs. "Why are you up already?" I asked, squinting in the bright morning sunlight. Eddie lifted his head at the sound of my voice and jumped up, trotting happily over to slobber all over my bare legs. "Good morning, sweet boy," I said to him, scratching the top of his head.<br />
<br />
"I get a 'why are you up already?' and he gets a 'good morning, sweet boy'?" Brody asked, smirking and raising an eyebrow. "I see how I rank."<br />
<br />
I laughed. "Good morning, sweet boy," I said, kissing him on the cheek and settling into the chair next to him. <br />
<br />
"Much better," he answered, grinning. "And I have no idea why I'm up already. I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. I was going to make breakfast in a little bit, I didn't expect you to be up quite yet." I yawned in response, drawing a chuckle from Brody. "I need more coffee, do you want some too?" I nodded and leaned my head back, closing my eyes and enjoying the warm sun. Eddie had stretched out again, this time under my chair.<br />
<br />
Once I had woken up a little, Brody and I made breakfast together. Then we packed for the weekend, loaded Eddie into my SUV, and got on our way. I drove so Brody could relax. Despite his good mood this morning, I could tell he was exhausted. Sure enough, he fell asleep within 20 minutes. Eddie sat happily in the backseat, nose pressed to the window. I had it open about 4 inches for him, and he was slobbering all over the place. "Oh Ed," I said, glancing at him in the rearview mirror. He looked at me briefly with his goofy smile, then turned his attention back to the wind rushing into the car. <br />
<br />
I had to wake Brody up when we got close, because I could never remember where to turn off the main road. He yawned and stretched as much as the confines of the car allowed as we pulled up in front of the cabin. I pulled my car under the carport. This was Eddie's first trip here, so I snapped his leash on before I let him out. He looked around excitedly as I let him sniff around the yard for a few minutes before we went inside. <br />
<br />
Brody had brought most of our stuff in while I was letting Ed get acclimated. I was hopeful we'd be spending some more time here soon, and I wasn't interested in hauling a bunch of Eddie's stuff back and forth each time, so I'd stopped at the store yesterday evening and picked up two new beds (one for the living area and one for our bedroom...no he's not spoiled at all!), food and water dishes, a long tie out, and a few of his favorite toys and chews. "What do you think, bud?" I asked him, bringing him inside and letting him off the leash. He sniffed around cautiously, smelling everything before moving to the next room. He looked over his shoulder at me, whined once, and wagged his tail. I followed him into the next room, where he happily sniffed around under my supervision. We did this room by room for the entire cabin.<br />
<br />
Brody was flopped on the bed in the master bedroom when we got done with our tour. "Did he tip you, Madame Tour Guide?" he asked, smirking at me. "He's got you wrapped around his little finger."<br />
<br />
"It's a mutual wrapping," I retorted. "Jealous I haven't paid as much attention to you yet?"<br />
<br />
"A little bit," he said. <br />
<br />
I laughed. "Roll over," I said, tapping his hip. He rolled onto his stomach and I straddled his hips, starting to massage his shoulders. <br />
<br />
"That feels good," Brody groaned, his voice muffled by the bed. I worked my way down his back, then back up, ending by massaging his scalp for several minutes. "I'm so sleepy," he mumbled. <br />
<br />
"Sleep for awhile," I suggested. "I'll take Eddie for a walk and make some lunch, and if you're still sleeping when it's ready, I'll wake you up then, if you want."<br />
<br />
"Okay," he said. I swapped my flip flops for a pair of sneakers and by the time I had them changed, Brody was asleep in the middle of the bed in the same position he'd been in when I was rubbing his back. I shook my head and pulled the blinds closed so it was a little darker for him, though I'm not convinced it would have made any difference.<br />
<br />
Eddie followed me out of the room, and wiggled happily when I snapped his leash back on. "Want to go for a walk, bud?" I asked him. He wiggled harder, too well-behaved to do anything else. I laughed and led him to the door. <br />
<br />
We walked for about 40 minutes, and Eddie was thrilled with the new smells and sights. I even jogged with him for a little while, and he ran alongside me, lips and tongue flapping happily away. When we got back, he slurped up some water and trotted to the bedroom to keep Brody company.<br />
<br />
I took my car into the nearest town and stopped at the store for something for lunch and for dinner. I picked up some chicken breasts and stuff for salad for lunch, then picked out some steaks and scallops for dinner. I found a few snacks, eggs and bread and milk for breakfast in the morning, and some juice. At the liquor store next door I grabbed some beer and wine, and then I headed back up to the cabin. <br />
<br />
Brody was still fast asleep when I got back, and Eddie was snoring on the floor at the foot of the bed. He lifted his head to look at me sleepily when I peeked in, but for once he stuck by Brody, putting his head back down and huffing out a very dramatic breath. <br />
<br />
I headed out to the grill on the deck and started it up. While the grill was heating up and the chicken was cooking, I cut up some veggies and fruit and threw together salads. When everything was done, I went into the bedroom to wake Brody up. I laughed when I saw that Eddie, who was almost never allowed in our bed (I let him when Brody was out of town, but we didn't let him when we were both in bed), was stretched out next to Brody. <br />
<br />
When I woke Brody up, he was just as surprised as I was to see Eddie next to him. "He took advantage of my tiredness!" Brody said, but he was laughing. Once Brody got out of bed, we went outside to eat on the deck. It had been hot in the city for the entire week, and the slightly cooler air here was welcome. <br />
<br />
Brody's nap had done its job, and after lunch he had a lot more energy. When I got up to put Eddie on his tie out and let him off the deck, Brody wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me down into his lap. I yelped in surprise, toppling onto him. "Hi," he said, with a mischievous grin.<br />
<br />
"Hi," I replied, laughing. "Something I can help you with?"<br />
<br />
"Actually, there's something I'd like to help <i>you </i>with," he said. He pulled me closer and kissed me, and I shifted into a more comfortable position before losing myself in the kiss. <br />
<br />
"Mmm, should we go inside?" I asked softly, barely pulling my lips from his. <br />
<br />
"No," he responded, pushing his hand through my hair and then pulling my lips back to his. His other hand roamed over my hip and down to my bare leg. He slipped his fingertips under the edge of my shorts and pressed them into my skin. Eventually, he tugged at my shirt, working it up and then pulling it over my head.<br />
<br />
"Brody!" I exclaimed, laughing. "We're outside."<br />
<br />
He shrugged, smiling wickedly. "Do you see any people? Or houses? Or anything but trees?"<br />
<br />
"Good point," I admitted, looking around briefly. Brody kissed along my collarbone, drawing my attention back to him. I groaned softly as he swirled the tip of his tongue in a light circle at the base of my throat. <br />
<br />
"So, do you want to go inside?" Brody asked, pausing. His breath was warm against my skin and his lips brushed gently against my neck as he spoke.<br />
<br />
"No," I whispered, digging my fingers into his arms as he lightly nipped at my shoulder. Brody chuckled and reached behind me to unhook my bra. I shivered as he removed it, dragging his fingertips down my arms along with the straps. He leaned forward and flicked his tongue across one nipple, then wrapped his hands around my waist and lifted me off his lap and onto the table. His mouth moved to the other nipple and his hands worked on the button and zipper of my shorts. <br />
<br />
I sighed happily, shifting my weight so Brody could pull my shorts off. He knelt in front of me and slid his hands up my thighs, pushing my legs apart as he did. Brody kissed his way up my inner thigh and I gasped when his mouth reached its destination. I almost slid off the table when I came, but Brody's strong grip on my hips kept me in place. I pulled him up and yanked his shirt off. He beat me to undoing his shorts, but not by much. I wrapped my hand around him, stroking him until he pushed my hand away and pushed into me. <br />
<br />
I enjoyed the thrill of being outside and completely exposed, even though the risk of actual exposure to anyone else's eyes was low. Brody was in no hurry, and I enjoyed every second of it. When we were finished, he yawned. <br />
<br />
"Still tired?" I asked, laughing.<br />
<br />
"More like tired again," he replied. "You have a way of wearing a man out."<br />
<br />
We decided to head inside and relax in bed for awhile. I pulled my shorts and shirt back on and looked out into the yard. Eddie was laying flat on his side, his legs stretched in either direction as far as they'd go. "Eddie!" I called. "Hey, Eddie! Do you want to come inside?" He lifted his head to look at me lazily, one eye still closed. Then he shut the open eye and laid his head back down. "Eddie! Come inside!" I called again. In response, he rolled lazily onto his back, rolled back and forth a couple times, and then stopped, legs still in the air. "I guess Eddie is staying outside," I said with a laugh. I checked his tie out and then followed Brody inside. <br />
<br />
Once in the bedroom, I wriggled out of my clothes again and climbed under the blankets. Brody was already there, and barely let me get all the way into bed before he pulled me against him. We spent the rest of the afternoon in bed, alternating between talking or dozing and having lazy sex. Brody got up once to let Eddie in, otherwise we stayed in bed until I dragged Brody out to help me make dinner. After dinner, we took Eddie for a walk and then settled into the jetted tub in the bathroom with a bottle of wine. <br />
<br />
We spent the rest of the weekend enjoying each other's company, cooking together (which was something I loved but we hardly ever got a chance to do anymore), hiking, and being lazy. On the drive home Monday afternoon, Brody said, very seriously, "I think we should do this monthly. At least monthly, maybe more. I needed this. <i>We </i>needed this."<br />
<br />
I agreed. I'd had a good idea what I was getting into when I gave Brody my blessing to buy his new office building, but it was now getting old really fast. It probably didn't help that the worst of it had come when I was off work for the summer and actually had time to go and do fun things, but couldn't do them with my husband. Of course, that didn't stop me. I had spent quite a bit of time with Lauren and Kinsley so far, but I missed doing things like this weekend with Brody. I supported him 100%, and I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel, but I was counting down the days. <br />
<br />
We'd also started to get a lot of questions from people about when we were going to have kids. And since "When my husband works fewer than 90 hours a week and our child will actually recognize him," wasn't a socially appropriate answer, I'd done a lot of smiling, shrugging, and saying, "We're not quite ready," or "when things settle down a little." Those answers resulted in lectures on how if we waited to be completely ready, we'd never have kids, or that things will never truly settle down, what's a baby on top of it? But I knew better. I was in full support of Brody right now, but I knew if we added a baby to the mix now, I'd grow to resent him really quickly. And I didn't ever want to resent him. <br />
<br />
"What are you thinking about?" Brody asked me, breaking into my thoughts on babies and support and resentment. <br />
<br />
"Babies," I said honestly. <br />
<br />
Brody didn't say anything for several seconds and then said, "Okay, you're going to have to give me more than that." <br />
<br />
"Sorry, I was just thinking about having a baby someday. We haven't talked about it in awhile." I glanced at Brody's anxious face and realized why he was nervous. "Oh! No, I don't mean I want to have a baby <i>now,</i>" I said, laughing. The relief on Brody's face was almost comical. "Sorry, you saying we needed this made me think about how tough the last several weeks have been, which made me think about missing doing fun things with you, which made me think about the absurd number of people who think the contents of my uterus are any of their business, and then I was about to start thinking about all the things I want to do before we start having kids, but you interrupted my completely logical train of thought."<br />
<br />
"Completely logical," Brody said with a smile. "So continue your thoughts out loud. What are the things you want to do before we start having kids?"<br />
<br />
"Well, I don't know. I hadn't gotten there yet, remember?" I smirked at him, and he laughed. "But I know I want to travel more. I want to do more with my career. I need to finish the licensure process. I have a little bit of supervision left to get before I can do that."<br />
<br />
"And I want to be able to be around more," he said. <br />
<br />
I nodded. "Trust me, I want that too," I assured him. "In fact, I require it."<br />
<br />
"Well, I'm hoping that will start happening really soon," he said. "Once we finish filling the open positions and have everyone trained, I should be able to decrease my hours fairly significantly."<br />
<br />
"How many open positions are left?" I asked.<br />
<br />
"Three," Brody said. "Considering we started with 16 to fill with the expansion, I'm hoping we can have them filled within a month." <br />
<br />
I considered this. "So with training and everything...?"<br />
<br />
"My goal is by the end of the summer. But I can do a little cutting already, I think. Everything is going so smoothly right now. I probably shouldn't have said that out loud, I guess. But it is, and I think it's about time to start cutting down and seeing what happens. We've got a couple departments that are fully staffed now. There's no reason for me to still be involved so heavily with them."<br />
<br />
"Sounds like you have a plan," I said, smiling.<br />
<br />
He chuckled. "I do," he replied. "We'll see if it happens the way I want it to, but having a plan is good in any case." <br />
<br />
"I'll take it," I said, grinning. Brody reached for my hand across the center console, and we finished the drive in easy silence. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />New Beginning, New Adventureshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08101349742999957739noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8100531732898987076.post-75440919339091340632017-01-24T19:55:00.000-06:002017-01-24T19:55:35.451-06:00The Reunion (Brody): Summer"Liv?" I called, shifting my briefcase into my other hand so I could pull the door shut behind me. <br />
<br />
"Hi!" she said, emerging from the kitchen with a grin. "You're home early!"<br />
<br />
I returned her smile, putting my stuff down so I could hug her. "I missed my wife," I replied, wrapping my arms around her and kissing the top of her head. Even though we'd been married for almost 9 months, I still never got tired of calling Liv my wife. "Are you cooking <i>again</i>?"<br />
<br />
She blushed guiltily. "I'm so bored," she said. "This not working thing is not all it's cracked up to be." Liv's new position gave her most of the summers off. She was three weeks in and already bored. "The first week was great," she continued as she led me into the kitchen. "Last week wasn't so bad. But I have no idea what to do with myself this week. I've read 12 books. I go to the gym for two hours a day. What am I supposed to be doing with my life?"<br />
<br />
I couldn't help it, I laughed. "Well, there goes my dream of eventually talking you into being a trophy wife after all." She wrinkled her nose. "You know I'm kidding. And as much as I love your cooking, I'm not sure any more leftovers are going to fit in the fridge. Should I go buy a second one, or...?"<br />
<br />
"Maybe get a third while you're at it?" she suggested, cocking an eyebrow sassily. Then she shook her head. "I need a hobby or something. I thought being off for the summer would be fun."<br />
<br />
"You've never been good at not doing much," I pointed out. I thought for a second while I got plates and silverware out. "What's today? Wednesday?"<br />
<br />
"All day," she replied, turning off the oven and looking over her shoulder at me. "Why?"<br />
<br />
I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her from behind. "What if we went to the cabin this weekend?"<br />
<br />
"This weekend?" she asked, sounding surprised. She turned to face me. "But you're so busy."<br />
<br />
I brushed a piece of hair away from her forehead and rested my hand against her jaw. "I need a break. And I told you, I miss my wife. Let's get out of town for the weekend."<br />
<br />
Liv's face lit up. "That would be great!" she said excitedly. "I miss you, too."<br />
<br />
Liv had been great for the last 7 months while I worked on restructuring my company, hiring, and getting things the way I wanted them. I could tell it was wearing on her, and the long hours and few days off were wearing on me too. "We're almost there," I told her softly. "You've been amazing and so patient, and I promise it will be worth it."<br />
<br />
She nodded. "Okay," she said softly. Then she grinned. "But this weekend. It's going to be great!"<br />
<br />
"You said that already," I teased her. I kissed her forehead, then said, "It <i>is </i>going to be great." Liv pushed up onto her toes to kiss me, and I couldn't remember the last time I had kissed her. I mean, actually kissed her. I kissed her every morning before I left for work, though she was usually half asleep and probably didn't even remember it by the time she woke up. And I kissed her every night when I got home and before bed. But they'd become rehearsed, like we were going through the motions. And I knew that was my fault. I was so exhausted from work that I felt like a zombie the rest of the time. The end really was in sight, but the final push had been the worst of all so far.<br />
<br />
I kissed her again. She looked disappointed when I pulled away, but grinned when I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket, turned it off, and tossed it on the counter. "Let's eat," I suggested.<br />
<br />
"It can wait," Liv said, raising her eyebrows suggestively and reaching for me.<br />
<br />
I caught her hands and said, "It could, and there are very few things I want more than to go upstairs with you right now. But it's been a really long time since I've gotten to sit down and eat with you when the food is still hot, and that sounds really nice right now."<br />
<br />
"I can hardly argue with that," she said, smiling. <br />
<br />
Dinner was amazing. The food was good, of course, but it felt so good to sit and eat with Liv. We spent an hour at the table talking and catching up on the week. "I'll take care of these dishes--" I started, when we were finally done.<br />
<br />
"Don't you dare," Liv said, grinning mischievously. "I mean, I won't stop you from doing them later, but for now, I demand that you continue to pay attention to me." <br />
<br />
I pushed my chair back from the table as my beautiful wife approached me. She stood between my knees and ran a finger down my tie before taking a step closer and pushing her fingers into my hair. "You don't have to tell me twice," I told her, looking up at her hungrily. I stood and pulled her close to me, wrapping my arms tightly around her waist. "Let's go upstairs."<br />
<br />
My eyes wandered as I followed Liv upstairs. She spun around to face me and grinned as I walked into our bedroom behind her. I slid a hand around her waist but she shoved me hard onto the bed. I raised my eyebrows as she climbed onto the bed and straddled me. "All that time at the gym has clearly paid off," I teased her. "You've never been able to push me around quite so easily."<br />
<br />
Liv responded by grabbing my hands from her waist and pinning them on the bed near my head. She leaned down and kissed along my jaw and down my neck. "Well then, you'd better be careful, hmmm?"<br />
<br />
She may have been stronger than she was, but she was still tiny. With one movement, I swung my legs up and to the right, easily moving us sideways and tipping her off me. Two more seconds and I had her on her back, her legs pinned wide by my knees and her wrists caught in my left hand. "Now who's in a compromising position?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at her from above. <br />
<br />
"Actually," she said casually, "you're right where I want you."<br />
<br />
I laughed and leaned down to kiss her. She kissed me back hungrily. It felt so good to kiss her like this. It made me wish I was finished with my restructuring now so we could do this every night. "Hey," Liv said, sliding her hands up my chest to rest on either side of my face. "What's on your mind?"<br />
<br />
"Just realizing how much I miss this," I replied, dropping my face to her neck. "And counting down the days until I don't have to miss it anymore." I kissed down her throat and worked my way up one collarbone. She moaned softly and I grinned against her shoulder. I missed that sound. I dragged my tongue along the hollow where her collarbone met her shoulder, drawing another soft moan. <br />
<br />
"I miss it too," she said, pressing her hips up towards mine. "I--ohhh." Her sentence was cut off by my fingers playing against one breast.<br />
<br />
"You what?" I asked, my fingers stilling. "You were saying something?"<br />
<br />
"Shut up," she replied using one hand to pull my face towards hers. I did as she wanted, happily.<br />
<br />
*<br />
<br />
"Pete!" I called, seeing him walk past my office on Thursday morning. He stepped inside my office and motioned to the door. "Open is fine," I replied. "Come on in."<br />
<br />
"What's up?" he asked, crossing the threshold and sitting down in a chair next to my desk. I didn't like sitting across from people, whether staff or client. It created a power differential that I didn't care for. I preferred to run my business with respect, not power and fear. I had worked for someone who used power and fear to run his business long enough to know it wasn't for me. The only time I sat across the desk from someone was when I was firing them. Which I hadn't had to do for quite some time, thankfully. <br />
<br />
"How was your vacation?" I asked, getting up and pouring myself some more coffee. "Do you want some?"<br />
<br />
"Sure," he replied. I brought him a cup. "It was great. Serena and I had a really nice time. Thanks again for covering my clients while I was gone. I was glad to hear there were no issues."<br />
<br />
I nodded. "Glad to do it, vacations are important. Keeps you sharp."<br />
<br />
"I didn't think you would know," he quipped, raising his eyebrows at me. I laughed. Only Pete or Neil could get away with that. <br />
<br />
"That's why I've got you here, actually," I said. "I'd like to take my wife to the cabin this weekend. Can I leave you in charge?"<br />
<br />
Pete considered this. "Only on one condition," he said.<br />
<br />
I cocked an eyebrow. "I'll hear your condition, but I beg you to remember who's in charge here. At least until I leave for the weekend."<br />
<br />
Pete laughed and I cracked a smile. "I will never forget who's in charge here. My condition is that you take tomorrow off for your weekend away."<br />
<br />
My second eyebrow joined the first. "Are you staging a coup?"<br />
<br />
"If I was, I wouldn't tell you," he pointed out. "But I'm not. With all due respect, boss, I can tell you're fried. Take the day. I mean, I'll cover you either way. But things are coming along nicely. Everyone is moved into their new offices, the teams are formed, we only have a few openings left to fill. You've been working 80 hours a week. I'm offering to cover you so you can take a day off. Or, three days, actually."<br />
<br />
"Can I let you know?" I asked him.<br />
<br />
"Sure can," Pete replied. "Anything else?" I shook my head and he left. <br />
<br />
I glanced at my computer, my email open on the screen. During the course of the 4 minute conversation I'd just had with Pete, I'd collected 15 new emails. With a sigh, I stabbed at the button on the bottom right corner of the screen and turned the monitor off. I stood and stretched, then took a walk. In offices all down the hallway, my employees--both old and new--were working hard. Some were on the phone, some were typing away, and some doors were closed, surely concealing a client meeting. I paused and turned in a full circle, admiring the sounds of my successful business. <br />
<br />
"Kira?" I said, sticking my head in my assistant's office. I'd gone through 3 before finding Kira, who not only could keep up but also didn't allow me to work her to death. She looked up, solemn and expectant. "I'm heading over to the other site. I'll be back in a bit, and you can stay here. Can you just take messages for my calls? And can you log into my emails and handle any that don't actually need me?" <br />
<br />
"You've got it," she said.<br />
<br />
"And can you send an email out to all the staff at both locations, letting them know that I'm bringing in lunch for everyone?"<br />
<br />
Her eyes were already on her computer and seconds later she looked up. "Done. Anything else?" <br />
<br />
"Yeah," I said, nodding. "Go home early today. Thank you for your hard work."<br />
<br />
She cracked a rare smile. "Thank you," she said. "Is 4 okay?"<br />
<br />
"How about 2?" I called over my shoulder as I walked back to my office to grab my keys. <br />
<br />
The drive to my new office took 20 minutes, not bad. I parked in my reserved spot, which I hadn't really wanted but had to admit was convenient. We had the entire building here, a three story structure with plenty of conference rooms, which the other space was seriously lacking. I bypassed the employee entrance and walked in the front door. This site was going to be where most of the client interaction would happen, and I wanted to feel the full effect. I walked into a warmly appointed lobby that held comfortable chairs and couches, plenty of plants, and some art that wasn't quite my taste but everyone else seemed to like. <br />
<br />
"Welcome to--oh! Mr. Adler, hello!" Anna, one of two of our front desk staff here greeted me. Nate, the other, was on the phone. "Did you forget your key? Do you need one for the day?"<br />
<br />
"Hi, Anna," I said, nodding to Nate, who returned the silent greeting without missing a beat of his conversation. "No, I didn't forget my key, I just wanted to make sure to stop by and say hi on my way in. Everything good here?"<br />
<br />
"It's been a bit hectic today, to be honest," she said. "But no issues, just busy."<br />
<br />
"Glad to hear it," I said. "You're both doing a great job, thank you. I appreciate it." Nate and Anna were both relatively new, and they were good. I wanted to make sure they knew that I knew it.<br />
<br />
"Thank you, Mr. Adler," Anna replied. <br />
<br />
"Could you do me a favor? I'm ordering lunch for everyone." I handed her the takeout menu I'd grabbed from my desk on the way out. "Could you or Nate get everyone's orders for me, please? I'll place the order and pick everything up, I just need some help with collecting the orders."<br />
<br />
"Of course," she said. <br />
<br />
Nate, who was off the phone now, nodded. "Good to see you," he said. I grinned and headed to the elevator. At the last second I veered off and hit the stairs instead. I walked up to the second floor and wandered down the halls, stopping to check in with my employees that weren't on the phone or otherwise occupied. <br />
<br />
As I made my way up to the third floor, I realized that Pete was right. Everything was falling into place. Seeing the results helped ease the toll of my 80 hour work weeks and missing Liv. It also made me even more grateful for her support. She didn't ask to spend the first year of marriage only seeing her husband for an hour before bedtime and a few hours on the weekend. Of course, it hadn't always been as bad as it had been for the past couple months. There had been weeks at a time when we had dinner together every night. It just had been awhile. <br />
<br />
After taking a walk around the third floor, which was mostly conference rooms and my office, I took the employee elevator down to the other side of the first floor. I nodded to the construction crew. Hidden safely away from the lobby, I was putting in a fitness center for my employees. We were expanding, but we were still a small business, and as such, I had fewer options to offer them for health insurance and retirement plans. I focused on offering the best benefits I was able to and getting creative where I needed to. I wanted to be a company that people wanted to work for. As successful as I'd been so far, we were still young and new and every single person in either of these buildings was taking a chance on me. <br />
<br />
I looked around one more time, and I knew that I also needed to put the same care into my relationship. Just like everyone here, Liv had also taken a chance on me, and I had no intention of letting her down. I ignored the 3 missed calls on my cell phone and called Pete. "I'm going to take you up on tomorrow. What are your thoughts on Monday too?"<br />
<br />New Beginning, New Adventureshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08101349742999957739noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8100531732898987076.post-49875813284798179552017-01-23T22:03:00.001-06:002017-01-23T22:14:14.929-06:00The Reunion: A Recap<i>Hi all, I am so excited to be writing this post! For those of you who might not read In All The Wrong Places, I will be doing a few "reunion" posts here for fun! Here is the plan: This post will be a brief catch-up on what our favorite characters were up to when the blog ended. The recap here will focus on pre-baby and pre-final wrap post, so we'll be starting shortly after Liv and Brody's wedding. Then, because people were pretty split about what they'd like, I plan to do a few pre-pregnancy posts and a few-post baby posts. I'm going to try to do at least one post in each time period from each character. Honestly? I'm going to hit the high points. The fun posts to write. The big things that are happening. So if there's anything that you really want to see how it played out, post it in the comments. As always, no promises, but I'll try to accommodate your requests as much as I can. Alright, on to the recaps. I didn't edit them, so I apologize if they're a bit jumbled. Also, recaps are hard to write! I tried to capture the important things from the last few months of the blog. If you have questions post them in the comments! I'm hoping to have a post up later this week.</i><br />
<br />
<b>Liv and Brody:</b> Liv and Brody just got married (obviously) and went on a ridiculous but enviable honeymoon to a private Fijian island. When they got back, they adopted a dog that one of Brody's employee's family members was rehoming (Eddie). Brody purchased some additional office space and was preparing to do some major restructuring and expanding of his business, while eventually paring down his own duties to allow him some more time to spend with Liv and their potential-eventual-family. Liv was offered a new position at her job, providing therapy within a school. The new job means she's off most of the summers and is working really independently. She was preparing herself for Brody to be ridiculously busy for about a year while he restructured and got things in place to give himself a more reasonable schedule. Liv and Brody hosted their first holiday together (Thanksgiving) and Brody flew Liv's parents out to be there as a surprise. Liv and Ken, Brody's brother, had had a rocky start but are now getting along much better. Brody's sister (Jen) loves Liv, as does his mom. <br />
<br />
<b>Lauren and Alex: </b> Alex and Lauren took a disastrous Thanksgiving trip to Savannah to visit Alex's parents. Alex's mom invites the neighbor and his adult daughter, and it quickly becomes clear that she's trying to set Alex up with the daughter in an effort to replace Lauren. Alex is completely oblivious and he and Lauren get into a fight about it. In the morning, after a conversation with his mom, he realizes Lauren was right, has it out with his mom, and they leave. Despite Lauren never wanting to get married or have kids, Alex gets her a 'just be with me forever' emerald and diamond ring, which he gives to her when they're just about to have sex, in a very Alex and Lauren sort of way. She chooses to wear on her left hand. Lauren's new boss is inappropriate, touching her and flirting with her despite her repeatedly telling him not to. Eventually, he begins to take her work away and starts to change her position to something completely different. Meanwhile, Alex and the guys go on a ski trip and Alex gets seriously injured. Lauren and Alex's mom come to a tenuous truce in the hospital, and then Lauren throws herself into taking care of him, but Alex struggles with whether or not she's truly in it for the long haul. This could be partially because at work, Lauren's boss attempts to change her job description and Lauren quits on the spot. She eventually finds out that he had logged into her email and sent HR an email from her account, asking for the change in job duties. They offer her job back, but she negotiates an impressive severance package instead. Not much later, her former boss and employer is on the front page of the paper for a sexual harassment scandal. After another fight about Lauren's struggle with commitment, she and Alex decide to move in together.<br />
<br />
<b>Kinsley and Damien: </b>Kinsley struggled with her relationship with Damien from the beginning. They had broken up once earlier in the story when Damien and Kinsley's views on family and boundaries clashed significantly. When Kinsley's story picks up after the conclusion of Liv's, she finds out that her mom was in the hospital after an overdose. For once, Kinsley was grateful for Damien's unflappable calm. She finally ended up telling him about her family, revealing indirectly why she has such impenetrable walls up and is often flighty and hard for him to understand. Through the interactions with her parents in the hospital, especially her mom, we see that Kinsley's parents are both manipulative and self-serving (not unlike Kinsley). Once the dust settles, Kinsley panics about being so vulnerable and tries to push Damien away again. Despite everything, she makes an effort with her mom, going to visit. During one of those visits, they have a blowout that ends with Kinsley's mom calling her a stupid little tramp, and we don't hear from Kinsley's mom again after that. After a chat with Liv, Kinsley talks to Damien instead of shutting him out, continuing to work on being a better partner. Surprisingly enough, Kinsley begins to get close to Damien's family as well--especially his mom and his niece and nephew. Kinsley and Damien spend part of Thanksgiving with his family and part of it with Kinsley's dad. Kinsley is surprised by the presence of her brother (that she hadn't seen in 17 years--since he went to prison when he was 18 for theft and vehicular assault), and doesn't handle it well. A confrontation with her dad leads to Kinsley and Damien leaving. Kinsley starts to rebuild her relationship with her brother while cutting off contact with her parents. Knowing that Kinsley has been on family overload, Damien suggests they spend Christmas weekend away together, showing that he's getting much better at compromising with family things. A bit after Christmas, Kinsley ends up running into Cole, the man she'd been sleeping with when she and Damien had been broken up. He kissed her and she panicked, frantically telling Damien that night. Damien handles it well, believing that Cole did it and Kinsley didn't want anything to do with it, but Kinsley struggles with feeling like she's not good enough, making her start to sabotage things. Eventually, she takes some time to herself, pushes herself outside her comfort zone, and starts to become comfortable with herself. She and Damien end up staying together.New Beginning, New Adventureshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08101349742999957739noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8100531732898987076.post-25290452183082518212016-03-02T20:06:00.001-06:002017-01-29T12:10:23.990-06:00Liv: The Finale<i>I have so many feelings about this final post and wrapping up this blog. It's been 19 months, over 300 posts, and so many different characters' stories. Can you even believe it? I can't. I can't thank you guys enough for all your feedback, kind comments, emails, and loyalty. You all kick so much ass. To take the some of the sting out of the very end of Liv's (and Lauren's and Kinsley's, of course!) story, I'll be posting a bonus over on <a href="http://www.inallthewrongplaces.com/" target="_blank">In All the Wrong Places</a> tomorrow. Thanks for taking this crazy ride with me!</i><br />
<i>_______________________________</i><br />
<h2>
5(ish) YEARS LATER...</h2>
<div>
I cocked my hip out to rest Celia on so I could free one hand to knock on Kinsley and Damien's door. At almost 3 years old (and built like Brody, not me) she was getting too big for me to carry for too long, but she'd just gotten up from a nap and was too groggy (and crabby) to walk. That changed when Damien answered the door with a tiny baby in his arms. Celia immediately lifted her head from where it had been nestled on my shoulder. "Mommy, a baby," she whispered loudly to me.</div>
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I laughed and Damien grinned. "Yes, sweetheart," I told her. "Remember I told you we were coming to help a friend with her baby today?" She shook her head, her dark curls brushing my jaw as she did. </div>
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"Hi," I said to Damien, turning my attention to him and the baby as I stepped inside. Once inside, I put Celia down and she stood patiently next to me, occasionally rising onto her tip toes to peer up at the small bundle Damien was holding.</div>
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"Hi, thanks for coming over," he replied, leading me and Celia into the living room. </div>
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"Kinsy!" Celia yelped, seeing Kinsley on the couch. I tried to shush her but she was already bouncing loudly over to Kinsley.</div>
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"Sorry," I apologized. "Babysitter fell through and Brody's down helping his mom with something today."</div>
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"Don't be," Kinsley said, wrapping an arm around Celia and hugging her. Celia tolerated it for about 3 seconds before she wriggled away.</div>
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She came back over to me and tugged my shirt. "Mommy, wanna hold the baby." </div>
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"Let's hold him together, Cee," I suggested. She seemed satisfied with that and waited patiently until I got settled in an armchair next to the couch. I lifted her into my lap, and once she was settled, Damien carefully placed Nicholas in our arms. I supported his head while Damien helped Celia get her little arms in the right place. </div>
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"Tank you Mr. Damien," Celia said, once we were settled. She stumbled over his name, and I tried not to laugh at how adorable it was. She had started calling him Mr. Damien months ago, and none of us had any idea why. Toddlers.</div>
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"Good manners, Celia," I praised her. </div>
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Nicholas's face squished up and then relaxed again, and I gazed down at him. He was a little over 2 weeks old and definitely still a floppy, squishy, adorable newborn. I smiled as I watched his lips work in his sleep. </div>
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From the couch, Kinsley laughed softly. "What?" I asked, looking over at her. She looked far better than she deserved to just two weeks after giving birth to Nicholas. </div>
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"You want another one, don't you?" she asked. "I see how you're looking at him. Don't get any ideas, I worked hard for this one." And she had. Kinsley's pregnancy and birth experiences had been the exact opposite as mine. She'd been sick through the whole pregnancy, and blood pressure issues had landed her on bed rest at 32 weeks. But once she went into labor, it went fast and without issues and she went from her water breaking to delivering him in less than 3 hours. </div>
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"I do want another one," I admitted, being sure to keep my voice down to not wake the baby. Celia was staring at him, absolutely entranced. "Not yet, though. Maybe once this one starts school."</div>
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"Who, me?" Celia asked, suddenly aware of the conversation around her. </div>
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"Yes, you," I told her. She craned her neck around to look at me and wrinkled her nose. I laughed.</div>
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"Well," Kinsley said, stifling a yawn. "That's great for you, but I'm never doing this again. So I sure hope Damien is cool with Nick being an only child."</div>
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We both looked at Damien, who didn't miss a beat when he said, "I think I'm going to go run those errands now." Kinsley smirked as he leaned down to kiss her forehead. </div>
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Celia was starting to get antsy, so I shifted the sleeping baby so she could climb off my lap. She immediately started hunting for Mowgli, Damien and Kinsley's big tiger-striped cat. "Mooowgoli," she called softly. "Kitty kitty!" </div>
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"Mowgli heard you coming from a mile away, kid," Kinsley said under her breath. "You'll never find him." I laughed, surprising Nicholas. His eyes flew open and he made a brief, unhappy sound before falling back to sleep.</div>
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"Liv, can I shower while you're here?" Kinsley asked. "It's been....well, a few days. Let's just leave it at that."</div>
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"Of course," I told her. "Take a bath if you want. And a nap. Just let me run out to the car and grab the things I brought to entertain Celia. I'm here all afternoon, whether you like it or not. Take advantage of it."</div>
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"You're the most beautiful woman in the world," Kinsley said dramatically. "Seriously, thank you." </div>
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I handed the baby over to her and ran out to the car to get the stuff I'd brought for Celia. When I came back in, Kinsley had Nicholas down in the Pack 'n Play in the living room. He was still sleeping away. She showed me where to find bottles, formula, and diapers, then disappeared upstairs. </div>
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While Kinsley took a bath and napped, I washed their dishes, sorted the laundry in the laundry room and started a load, cleaned the half bathroom on the main level, swept and mopped the kitchen and living room, dusted, and straightened up. Celia knelt in front of the coffee table and colored, then helped me dust. I paused in the middle to feed and soothe an unhappy Nicholas. He was awake now, and after I changed him I laid him down on his playmat where he could see me and talked to him while I folded clothes. Celia sat on the floor next to him and entertained him for awhile too.</div>
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I was in the middle of folding the second load of laundry when Damien came home with groceries. He looked around and said, "Kinsley is never going to let you leave." I had Celia pairing socks as I folded shirts and pants. "Also, if you can come back when Nicholas is two and teach us to how to get him to help with chores, that would be great."</div>
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"She loves it," I said with a shrug, watching her lean over the edge of the laundry basket, happily searching for socks. "I'm sure it won't last forever, though." </div>
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Damien put the groceries away and then came back into the living room. "You've been busy, Liv. Thank you. I can take care of the rest."</div>
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"Don't be ridiculous," I told him. "I came to help. Kinsley is upstairs napping. You could do the same. Or if you have something else you've been wanting to get done, go for it. Celia and I have everything under control. And Lauren had mentioned maybe stopping by this afternoon, so you might as well relax now."<br />
<br />
"Oh, that's right!" Damien exclaimed. "She asked me to make some room in the freezer. I guess she's bringing some food. So I'll do that, and then I think I might take you up on that nap." Before going downstairs to the freezer, he crouched down next to Nicholas and talked to him for a minute. Then he leaned down and kissed him lightly on the head and headed down to clear some room in the freezer. <br />
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"Mommmmmmy," Celia whined, flopping onto the floor on her back. "Wanna go outside!"<br />
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"Maybe when Lauren gets here we can go outside for a few minutes," I told her. She continued to whine and I calmly paused my folding, took more paper and crayons out of the bag I had brought, and said, "Celia, come draw me a pretty picture." She stopped whining and seemed to consider this, then rolled onto her side, sat up, and scurried over to the coffee table. She happily talked to me about what she was drawing while I folded laundry with one eye on her picture and one eye on the baby. <br />
<br />
I was just finishing up folding when Lauren knocked and then let herself in. "Look at you," she said teasingly. "A regular Suzy Homemaker. Are you practicing for number 2?"<br />
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I rolled my eyes at her. "The questions never stop. Never ever. First it's 'when are you getting married?' Then it's 'when are you having a baby?' Then it's 'when are you going to give your baby a sibling?'"<br />
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Lauren smirked and replied, "At least you won't hear, 'are you guys <i>ever </i>going to get married?' forever and ever."<br />
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"Well," I said, grinning at her, "are you?"<br />
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"You're the worst," she said. <br />
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"Not nice!" Celia piped up, seeming to just realize that Lauren was there. She looked surprised as she looked up from her picture. <br />
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"You're right. Sorry, Cee," Lauren apologized as I smirked.<br />
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Celia frowned. "Say sorry to mommy," she demanded. <br />
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"Celia, it's okay," I told her. "And please use your manners."<br />
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Celia narrowed her eyes briefly in a shockingly good side-eye at Lauren, then turned to her and said, "Say sorry to mommy, <i>please.</i>" I bit my lip to keep from laughing, and looked at Lauren expectantly.<br />
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Lauren threw her hands up and said, "Sorry, Liv."<br />
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"Apology accepted," I replied, grinning. Celia smiled and clapped, then went back to her picture. <br />
<br />
"That kid, man," Lauren said softly. "You're going to have your hands full." <br />
<br />
"I don't know if it would be better for her to be like me or Brody," I admitted. "So far she's an awful lot like me, though. It's only slightly terrifying."<br />
<br />
"I'll stick to 'raising' my child-like employees," Lauren said. Lauren hadn't been unemployed for long, landing a great job at a small, newer company a couple months after she quit. When the investigation at her former employer turned into a huge scandal that included a class action lawsuit against the company, she had actively avoided any part of it, and soon after got the new job. She had been there since, and was now a mid-level supervisor. <br />
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I paused as Damien came up the stairs and greeted Lauren. He chatted for a little while, and I watched Celia get up from her seat at the coffee table, go over by Nicholas, who was sleeping again, and curl up on the floor. "Want a pillow, Cee?" I asked her.<br />
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"I not sleeping, mommy," she informed me firmly. <br />
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"Oh," I replied. I grabbed a small throw pillow from the couch and Damien handed me a blanket and I set them down next to her. "Well, in case you want to get more comfortable." She ignored the blanket and pillow until I lifted the sleeping baby from the floor and went back to sit on the couch, then she yanked the blanket over her legs and nestled her head on the pillow. She was out cold by the time Damien headed upstairs to nap.<br />
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Lauren took the freezer crock pot meals she'd prepared downstairs and put them in the freezer, then came back up. "Want to hold him?" I asked her, already knowing what she'd say.<br />
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"No way," she responded. "I'd probably break him." She did touch his soft, fine dark hair and smile, but that was the extent of her attention to the baby.<br />
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"Have you guys talked to Alex's parents yet?" I asked. Lauren had worked hard to try to form relationships with Alex's parents, but at Christmas they'd apparently had a huge blowout over Alex and Lauren's choice to not get married. <br />
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She groaned. "No, I haven't. Alex has a couple times, but he said they've just pretended that it didn't happen and they ignore my existence unless Alex brings me up directly. If they think we're going to get married just to please them, they've got another thing coming."<br />
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Cautiously, I asked, "What does Alex think of it all?"<br />
<br />
"He's pretty mad at them. He's really embraced this whole not getting married thing, and it's almost like his parents pushing back has convinced him even more. He's so oppositional sometimes."<br />
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Lauren and I talked quietly on the couch until Kinsley came down, looking clean and groggy. "That was the best and worst nap I've ever taken," she declared, reaching for Nicholas. I handed him over. "Best because that was probably the longest I've slept at once in 3 months, and worst because I woke up." <br />
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"If you hadn't woken up, you'd be dead," Lauren pointed out helpfully. <br />
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Kinsley rolled her eyes and eyed up Celia on the floor. "I wish I could sleep anywhere like a kid," she said wistfully.<br />
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"One day, shortly after going back to work at the end of my maternity leave, I actually did just shut my door and take a nap in the armchair in my office," I said. <br />
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"Oh good, I have so much to look forward to," Kinsley said, laughing. "Except I don't have an armchair in my office, so I guess I'm going to have to practice napping under desks." <br />
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"I have a couple employees that could probably give you tips on that," Lauren offered. <br />
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It was nice to have some time to catch up with Lauren and Kinsley. We were all so busy now that it was hard to find time to do the things we used to do. After waking up from her impromptu nap, Celia was stuck to me like glue and whiny, so I said my goodbyes and headed out with her.<br />
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I wasn't expecting Brody to be home from helping his mom yet, but his SUV was in the garage when I pulled in. I got a cranky Celia out of her carseat, grabbed the rest of my stuff, and banged on the garage door with my elbow because my hands were full. Luckily, Brody opened the door for me just seconds later. <br />
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He kissed my forehead and took some things out of my hands. When he leaned in, Celia grabbed a fistful of his shirt and whined, "Daaaaddddyyyyy."<br />
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"Hi, honey," he said, kissing her head. "I missed you and your mommy today." He gave me a questioning look. <br />
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"I think she's getting sick," I guessed. "At Kinsley's house she laid down on the floor and just fell asleep for almost an hour." I pressed my cheek to her forehead briefly but she didn't feel hot. Brody set down the stuff he'd taken from me and I handed off Celia to him. My heart melted a little when she cuddled happily against his chest.<br />
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I put away the stuff I'd brought to entertain her today and then peeked in on them. Brody had her in his lap on the couch, and he was reading her a story. I smiled to myself as he did voices for the different characters and she giggled. <br />
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I stood and watched them for several minutes until Brody looked back at me and motioned me over to the couch with a smile and a tip of his head. I took just a few seconds more to observe and appreciate the two people that I loved most in the world, then finally went into the living room to join them. <br />
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New Beginning, New Adventureshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08101349742999957739noreply@blogger.com37tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8100531732898987076.post-12660076141794497592016-03-01T07:12:00.003-06:002016-03-01T07:12:32.639-06:00It's finally here!Guys, the full first post of <a href="http://www.inallthewrongplaces.com/" target="_blank">In All the Wrong Places</a> is up! I'm so excited. If you read the sneak peek here, don't worry--there's more that you haven't yet read in the first post. If you haven't already, go check it out <a href="http://www.inallthewrongplaces.com/2016/02/chapter-1.html" target="_blank">here</a>!New Beginning, New Adventureshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08101349742999957739noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8100531732898987076.post-57134242959196843402016-02-28T19:09:00.000-06:002016-02-28T19:09:05.231-06:00Kinsley: Someday<i>This is it! Kinsley's last post. As soon as I post this, I'm going to start the finale post, which will take a future jump and be from Liv's perspective. It will be posted by the end of the day next Saturday, possibly sooner. As much as I've loved writing Liv, Lauren, and Kinsley's stories, I'm looking forward to wrapping it up. Writing a long, drawn out story is hard. I know you guys will miss this blog, and I'm so grateful to you all for making this such a well-loved story. I really hope you'll love the new one just as much.</i><br />
<i>____________________________________________</i><br />
<br />
The dread I felt as I left Lauren's house subsided as I walked towards Damien's car. I figured one of two things were about to happen: I'd tell him everything and he would decide I wasn't worth the work, or I'd tell him everything and we'd be good and that would be that. I wasn't sure how realistic those options were, but it was calming at the time, so I didn't argue.<br />
<br />
But as soon as Damien got out and opened the passenger side door for me, the worry came creeping back in. "Hi," I said softly as I accepted Damien's hand that he held out to help me into his truck. "Thanks for picking me up."<br />
<br />
"You're welcome," he replied. He didn't sound happy, but he didn't sound mad. He just sounded like Damien.<br />
<br />
We were both quiet as he drove us to my house. I was surprised. I guess I just assumed we'd end up at his house. Then I got even more worried, because I realized that this way he wouldn't have to bring me home when we broke up. He'd be able to just leave. Leave, and go on with his life. <br />
<br />
It was 8:30 by the time we got to my house. My buzz was wearing off and I just felt ridiculous and very tired. The beginning of a nasty headache was pulsing at my temples. Why gin, Kinsley? Ugghh.<br />
<br />
We got inside and Damien gave me a weird look. "Are you drunk?" he asked.<br />
<br />
"No," I replied. He raised an eyebrow. I rubbed my forehead and clarified. "I <i>was </i>drunk, now I'm just pathetic and ridiculous."<br />
<br />
"You're not--" he started to argue, but I cut him off with a shake of my head.<br />
<br />
"No, don't," I told him. "It doesn't matter. Let's just...can we sit?" We were both still standing in the entryway of my place<br />
<br />
"Yes," he replied, nodding. He had his game face on, and I had no idea what he was feeling. It was already making me more anxious. <br />
<br />
Once we were sitting down, I said, "Look, I have a lot to say, and I'm not sure how well I'll handle your calmness tonight. So, if you've got feelings about something, maybe you could try to show it a little?"<br />
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His face relaxed slightly, and concern creased his forehead. "I'll try," he said. "It's kind of my default mode in a stressful situation, so if it happens, I'm not doing it on purpose, I promise."<br />
<br />
I nodded. That was good enough for me. I shut my eyes briefly. So far this conversation was awkward and forced and formal. "I don't really know where to start," I admitted. "I just realized a whole lot of things about myself about an hour ago, which sounds really stupid, but it's true. And it's hard to put it all into words that make sense to someone else." I bit my lip and looked up at Damien.<br />
<br />
He nodded encouragingly, and I opened my mouth and everything came tumbling out. "I've never been good enough for anyone. Ever. I wasn't good enough for my mom to want to take care of me, or my dad to want to keep our family together. I wasn't good enough to keep my brother out of jail. They all left me. Every single one of them. Lauren and Kendra are the friends I've had the longest, and they're just from the very end of college. Everyone leaves me, or else I leave them before they can do it themselves. I've learned to be okay with it, because I just don't get attached to people." <br />
<br />
Damien started to talk but I held up a finger. I wasn't quite finished. "I used to hate myself. I really did. I figured I must be a pretty shitty person if my own parents didn't love me enough to care about what happened to me when I was a kid. But once I figured out how to live my life in a way that made sense to me, I actually started liking myself. Then I met you. And you didn't fit with how I was living my life. And I started to wonder if what I had been doing really did make sense to me, because I actually seemed to like this new thing better. For a little while, it was okay. It was great, actually. But somewhere along the way I fucked up and got attached to you. And then you left. So then I got back to feeling like I'm not good enough. And at least if I fuck things up, it'll be my fault and not just because you suddenly realized I'm not good enough."<br />
<br />
Damien stared at me. He looked confused. He didn't say anything for a long time, and I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my forehead on my knees, because I couldn't even look at him anymore. <br />
<br />
Finally, he spoke. "Kinsley," he said softly. He waited until I raised my head and reluctantly made eye contact with him. "I am not in the business of loving people that I consider 'not good enough', in your words. I could sit here and tell you all the reasons I think you're a great match for me, all the reasons I love you, and why I sometimes feel like <i>I'm</i> not good enough for <i>you</i>. But I'm not going to, because it doesn't matter. I could tell you all those things, but they shouldn't have any bearing on how you feel about yourself. You should think you're good enough regardless of what I think. <br />
<br />
"And you're right. I <i>did </i>leave, and it was one of the stupidest things I've ever done, but there's nothing I can do about that now except to tell you that I was wrong and I'm sorry and I love you." With that, he stopped talking. <br />
<br />
Now it was my turn to silently stare. I don't know what I had been expecting, but it wasn't this. I expected to be angry that he wasn't validating me and telling me all the reasons I'm good enough, but I wasn't. He's right, it means little coming from him if I don't believe it. And it's not his job to make me feel good about myself. <br />
<br />
"Well..." I said finally. "Now what?"<br />
<br />
"That's up to you," Damien said gently. "If you need some time to figure out what you want to do, you can have it. I want to be with you, but I don't want you to feel stuck in a relationship where you don't ever feel good enough."<br />
<br />
I considered this. I know I wanted to stay with Damien, but I also didn't want to be stuck in a relationship where I didn't feel good enough. I knew it was my issue and not his. "I don't want to break up," I told him honestly, "but if you can give me some time to work a few things out in my head so I can be fully in this relationship without trying to sabotage it or feeling shitty about myself, that would be for the best."<br />
<br />
"Okay," he said. "I can do that." He shifted as if he was going to get up.<br />
<br />
"Wait," I said, stopping him. "I know that I have to figure my shit out, but will you tell me what <i>you </i>want?"<br />
<br />
He smiled. "I want to marry you someday. When we're both ready. I want to be your husband and your partner. I want to raise a family with you. And I want you to be happy with whatever you decide, and I don't want either of us to have any regrets or question it."<br />
<br />
I expected to feel panic at the thought of getting married and starting a family, but I didn't. I felt a smile playing at the corners of my lips and realized I loved the idea. I smiled at Damien. "Thanks for sharing that," I said. It sounded silly, but I knew he was being vulnerable by telling me that right now, and I appreciated it. <br />
<br />
We both stood and I walked him to the door. At the door we hugged, staying with our arms wrapped around each other for a long time. "Look," I said, once we separated. "Don't freak out if I fall off the radar completely for a little while, okay? I promise I'll reach out when I get my shit together. It won't be more than two weeks."<br />
<br />
"I can live with that," Damien responded. "It helps to have a time frame." <br />
<br />
We stood awkward for several seconds, until he put his hands on either side of my face and kissed me. The kiss was soft and gentle but I could feel the emotion behind it. I gripped his forearms, holding his hands in place against my face as I kissed him back. Finally, we pulled apart and he looked down as he put his hand on the doorknob. "I'll see you in a couple weeks?" he asked. <br />
<br />
"Yes," I said firmly. "You will." <br />
<br />
He nodded and left, and for a second I felt panicked and alone. I reached for my phone, and in that second I realized that I needed to be okay with being alone before I could be okay truly being with someone else. <br />
<br />
The last time I'd been alone had been after Kaleb went to jail and I was stuck at home with a drug-addicted mother and an absent, philandering father. All "alone" meant to me was fear, uncertainty, and knowing that I wasn't anyone's priority. After high school graduation and before Damien, I filled my time with friends and flings and strangers to avoid those same feelings. Lauren was right. She truly enjoyed having sex with whoever she wanted, and she did it for fun. I had sex with whoever I wanted to prove a point, manage my emotions, and validate myself. <br />
<br />
Once I realized this, I did the most logical thing that I could think of. I sent my boss an email, begging for some time off of work. It was tax season, and usually we avoided taking time off at this time of year. Luckily, it was still early enough that after promising my boss the next day that I'd do some work while I was away, he granted me three days off: Friday, Monday, and Tuesday. After work, I did what anyone in my situation would do, and I booked myself a room at a tiny, adults only all-inclusive resort in Mexico--far away from the party spots, of course. Because it was so last minute and all the bigger resorts were booked, I paid a ridiculous amount for the room and the flight, but I was hoping it would be worth it.<br />
<br />
Taking myself on a sweet vacation seemed like a good way to either self-destruct or remember the things I actually liked about myself. At the moment, it seemed like it would be a toss up, but either way it would make my decision easy.<br />
<br />
By the time I got to the resort on Friday, I was so wound up with nervous energy. I was pretty sure I was going to regret taking a 4 day trip to Mexico by myself. During tax season, no less. But I had to do something different, and this certainly qualified. <br />
<br />
By lunchtime on Saturday, I was a mess. I decided my plan was backfiring. I hadn't even left my room yet. I couldn't bear to go out to the pool or the beach when both were full of happy couples that were enjoying their vacations. I glared out the window at the pool angrily, then pulled my laptop out. I grabbed a beer from the fridge in the room, cracked it open, and drank it as I got my computer connected to the painfully slow wireless. <br />
<br />
I managed 3 hours of work before I got frustrated with the slow internet service. I wandered back to the window. The pool area wasn't quite as busy as it was before. I was dying to get out in the sun, so I pulled one of my swimsuits out of my suitcase, grabbed one of the magazines I'd brought along, and managed to leave my room. I threw a sidelong glance at my phone on the way out. I wanted to take it with me to listen to music, but I knew if I turned it on I'd end up on social media or texting Lauren or Liv, and I needed to just detach. <br />
<br />
It took over an hour at the pool to realize that no one was paying any attention to me. No one was wondering why I was alone, judging me, or caring at all about whether or not I was there, taking up space. It was a relief, and I relaxed a little bit. Another hour was all I could take, though, and I headed back to my room.<br />
<br />
Dinner was a whole different story. I forced myself out of my room, but when the host at the restaurant I chose asked if it was just me, I almost turned around and left. But I stayed, and while it wasn't the most comfortable meal I've ever eaten, at least I survived.<br />
<br />
Over the next couple days, I relaxed even more. By the time I had to pack up to catch my shuttle to the airport to go home, I was definitely ready to leave, but I was no longer miserable. In fact, as I was handing off my suitcase to the shuttle driver, I thought to myself that I might enjoy taking another solo vacation again someday.<br />
<br />
...someday.<br />
<br />
_________________________<br />
<br />
<i>I do apologize for the cliffhanger (actually, that's mostly a lie), but I promise all will be wrapped up in the final post! </i>New Beginning, New Adventureshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08101349742999957739noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8100531732898987076.post-55395746885050129602016-02-27T15:20:00.002-06:002016-02-27T15:20:26.294-06:00UpdateHi all! Sorry for the delay. I'm working on Kinsley's post. I hope to have it up tomorrow (Sunday). At that point, I'll give you the ETA for the very last post from Liv's perspective, but my guess at this point is it won't be up until next weekend. New Beginning, New Adventureshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08101349742999957739noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8100531732898987076.post-62974809605229029912016-02-22T20:38:00.001-06:002016-02-22T20:38:52.433-06:00Lauren: If It's Important to You, It's Important to Me<i>This one snuck up on me, and you guys are going to be displeased, but this is the last Lauren post! I thought it would end up being two posts, so I was going to warn you today and then have one more. But it didn't work out that way once I got it all written up. I know there are still a few loose ends, but I promise that those will get tied up in the very last post of the blog. The next Kinsley post is very likely her final post as well, but I haven't written it yet, so I'm not positive. Be prepared for the possibility.</i><br />
<i>_____________________________________</i><br />
<br />
I manage a few hours of restless, dreamless sleep. In between, I toss and turn and think about what Alex said. I'm not an idiot. I can understand his original point. I know that if it was anyone but me, marriage would be part of Alex's long term plan. Maybe kids, too. And I get why he's frustrated and hurt by my reluctance to move in or seriously talk about anything long term.<br />
<br />
But I'm also hurt by him saying that I haven't done anything to show him that I'm truly in this. Is he for real? I don't know what else he would consider these last 6 weeks to be, but he knows me well enough to know that I wouldn't do any of the things I'd done for him out of guilt or the goodness of my heart. <br />
<br />
I try to remind myself that both our lives have been disrupted in serious ways. People don't think rationally when they're upset. We both have other things going on that have increased our stress. But I've been trying so hard to show Alex how much I love him since the night he was in the hospital and questioned it. I don't know what else he needs, besides me to decide to move in with him. To me, that seems like a really arbitrary marker for commitment. People can move out just as easily as they move in. Everything else I've done (especially making peace with his parents and doing my best to be polite to them even as they continued to be rude and dismissive of me) says more to me than moving in ever would.<br />
<br />
It's nearly 4am before I realize that the fundamental problem is that we have different ideas of what commitment looks like. Alex, who is probably still coming to terms with the fact that I may never want to get married, is looking for something a little more concrete and traditional. I, in my ever-oppositional state, consider more abstract things to be an even bigger show of dedication.<br />
<br />
Trying to figure out how to meet in the middle keeps me up until 5:30. Finally I give up on that, and fall back to sleep for awhile. I wake up again around 7 and just throw in the towel and get up. I take a long shower and spend far too long doing my hair and makeup. Around 8:30 I give up on stalling and call Alex.<br />
<br />
He answers right away. "Hi," I respond to his greeting. "Can we talk?"<br />
<br />
"Yes," he replies. "I can come over." <br />
<br />
I get a bowl of cereal while I wait and eat it mindlessly. I hate fighting with Alex. It's so rare, and it's always awful when it happens. <br />
<br />
I see Alex pull up in my driveway and I open the door for him. "Hi," he greets me, smiling sheepishly. He surprises me by hugging me tightly and then kissing me. "I love you, and I'm sorry." I blink in surprise, and he continues. "I was an asshole yesterday, and you had a good point. But I'm also kind of unhappy and I also think you are, so I think we need to talk about that. Without me taking cheap shots."<br />
<br />
"I agree," I say softly. <br />
<br />
We both sit on the couch and I look at him, waiting for him to start. "Well," he says, fidgeting nervously. I have to bite my lip, because I've never seen him so nervous and it's adorable, but also this isn't a good time for that. "Lauren...you were right last night. You've done a lot in the last several weeks to show me that you're committed to me. I was an idiot for not seeing it. It honestly didn't even occur to me how much everything you've done lately means in that way. I'm sorry for not recognizing it, and I'm sorry for being a dick about it last night."<br />
<br />
"Thank you," I say, relieved that he can at least see that. <br />
<br />
"You're welcome. Everything you've done means a lot to me, and where it comes from with you means a lot too. But everything that has happened makes me even more sure that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and it's hard when you won't even have a conversation about it."<br />
<br />
"So let's have a conversation about it," I say.<br />
<br />
Alex looks at me silently for a second, then says, "I want to have a conversation about why we can't even talk about it."<br />
<br />
That isn't what I'm expecting, and I'm not ready for it. "I...well...what do you mean?"<br />
<br />
Alex starts to sigh, but catches himself. "I don't know, Lauren. Tell me what freaks you out so much about it that you physically react when I even mention it."<br />
<br />
"It doesn't freak me out, that's the thing," I tell him. He looks skeptical, but I push on. "It just doesn't mean the same thing to me that it means to you. So when you think 'move in together', it means commitment and taking things to the next level. When I think it, it doesn't mean to that me. So all I think of is how much things change, and it's hard for me to see the meaning of it. And if you say 'let's move in,' and I say, 'yeah, but', what you hear is that I don't want to commit. But that's not true. It's not true at all. So instead of trying to explain it, I just avoid the conversation because it's easier."<br />
<br />
Alex looks confused, and I can tell I didn't do a good job explaining. "So, if you don't want to get married, and moving in doesn't mean 'commitment' to you, what does?" he asks. I have to give him a lot of credit for trying to understand.<br />
<br />
"I don't really know how to explain it," I tell him. I see his face change, and I hurriedly continue. "No, wait. I'm going to try, I just needed to let you know that it might not make a lot of sense. To me, commitment just...is, I guess? Like, if I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with you, I wouldn't even still be with you. Much less having this terribly uncomfortable but undeniably important conversation. It's in all the things I had to do differently than I normally would have in order to help you out for the past month. I don't change my routine for just anyone, you know." That gets a small smile out of him, and I smile back. <br />
<br />
"Look," I say. "I get it. I get where you're coming from. You pictured getting married and having kids someday, like most people do. Then I came along and for some stupid reason you fell in love with me, and I basically ruined the idea you'd created of what your life would be like. That sucks."<br />
<br />
"Well--" Alex starts, and I can tell by his face that he's going to argue, to say it's not that bad.<br />
<br />
"No, it does suck," I insist. "You don't have to lie about it. Alex, I have no intention of changing my mind about getting married. It's not me. I don't understand it. I don't want it. If you want to get married, it's not going to be to me. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I'm not ever going to marry you."<br />
<br />
He stares at me. Before he can get too upset, I continue. "If you're okay with that--and I mean truly okay with it, because the worst possible thing you could do is stay with me hoping that someday I'll change my mind--then let's move in together."<br />
<br />
Alex looks stunned. He doesn't say anything, so I just keep talking, because apparently that's my thing now. "I'm not going anywhere until my lease is up, obviously, but that gives us some time to plan and talk about it and all that shit that people do."<br />
<br />
His eyes narrow suspiciously, and he finally says something. "Are you just doing this to placate me?"<br />
<br />
I take a deep breath and try not to lose it. "No. Do you know me at all? When is the last time I did anything to placate anyone? Much less made a major life decision just because someone else wanted me to?" He's still looking at me suspiciously. "Alex, my resistance to moving in with you is because it's change. It's change, and it's giving up my space, and those things are really hard for me. It has nothing to do with my level of commitment. I don't think a living situation says anything about how committed someone is. But I don't <i>not </i>want to live with you. It just doesn't mean the same thing to me as it does to you. But if it's important to you, then it's important to me. I won't marry you, but I will absolutely live with you. And I might even like it."<br />
<br />
Alex finally grins at me. "We can have separate bedrooms, if you want," he teases, and I know we're okay.<br />
<br />
"Don't tempt me!" I tell him. <br />
<br />
He frowns then, his brow furrowing with concern. "My house isn't the best set up for us both," he admits. He's right. It's tiny. It's probably smaller than my townhouse, but it's laid out a little better. His frown deepens. "But neither of us are exactly in the best place to be thinking about buying a new house. Or even renting one." <br />
<br />
I shrug. "We'll figure it out. We have a little time. And it's not like we don't have options. We've made your house work for now, though I've always had my place to go back to when I need a little space. Otherwise I can probably stay here month to month until we can find something else, if we decide that's what we want to do. I hope I'll have a job soon. You have a job, it's just a matter of time before you're back to work full time. It's going to be fine, we just can't be impulsive."<br />
<br />
Alex rolls his eyes. "As though you'd let us do anything impulsively."<br />
<br />
"Some day you'll thank me," I retort. <br />
<br />
"I doubt it," he replies, smirking. <br />
<br />
"So, is this a thing? Are we going to move in together?" I ask him.<br />
<br />
He looks puzzled. "Well, yeah. I mean, isn't that what we just established?"<br />
<br />
"You're really, truly okay with never getting married? Or having kids?" I ask, studying his face for any hint of hesitation or uncertainty. <br />
<br />
"Yes," he answers immediately.<br />
<br />
"And you're not just saying that because you assume some day I'll change my mind?" I press.<br />
<br />
"No."<br />
<br />
"Because I know that you'd get married and have kids someday if you were with someone else," I say.<br />
<br />
"Lauren, I don't want to be with someone else," he insists. <br />
<br />
"Okay," I relent. "I just know that getting married and having kids is really important to a lot of people."<br />
<br />
"Those things aren't as important to me as being with you," he promises. "And not getting married and not having kids <i>are </i>things that are important to you." Then he grins as he says, parroting my words from earlier, "If that's important to you, it's important to me."<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />New Beginning, New Adventureshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08101349742999957739noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8100531732898987076.post-37933994154091560862016-02-20T22:04:00.000-06:002016-02-20T22:04:07.158-06:00Lauren: CommitmentBefore I even think about what I'm doing, I hang up. <br />
<br />
Alex looks up at me, confused. "Who was that? Why'd you hang up so fast?"<br />
<br />
"It was a reporter from the Denver Post," I answer. "He wanted to talk to me about my job."<br />
<br />
My phone starts ringing again, and I stare at it. "You know," Alex says, looking amused. "You could just tell him you don't want to talk to him."<br />
<br />
"Oh, look who has logic and reason today," I retort. "I can't answer now after I hung up on him. He'll think I'm ridiculous."<br />
<br />
Alex snorts. "He already thinks you're ridiculous. But you're right--if you answer, you're giving yourself numerous opportunities to become even more ridiculous."<br />
<br />
I glare at him and hit the button to silence the call. "You're--" I start.<br />
<br />
"The worst," Alex interrupts. "I know." He grins at me and I roll my eyes and turn away before he can see the smile tugging at the corners of my lips. I head upstairs to my makeshift office. I need to comb through job postings again. <br />
<br />
I actually find 3 that I want to apply to, and I carefully craft my cover letters and tweak my resumes, then send them off. <br />
<br />
I get a call later that day from a job I applied to the week before, asking to set up an interview. I don't answer it, fearing that it might be the reporter again. After I listen to the message, I call back and set up an interview in two days. <br />
<br />
The next day, I meet Liv for lunch. I'm taking advantage of being off work and using it to improve my social life. "How's the job search going?" Liv asks after we order. <br />
<br />
"Not bad," I reply. "I have an interview tomorrow." I fill her in a little on the job search, and we talk about my old company. Liv read the article in the paper and we'd texted about it quite a bit already. "And how's married life?"<br />
<br />
She groans. "I wish everyone would stop asking me that," she answers. <br />
<br />
"Uh oh," I say, concerned.<br />
<br />
"Oh!" Her cheeks turn pink. "No, nothing's <i>wrong,</i>" she clarifies. "It's just everyone's favorite question. Actually, things are really good. Brody finally has things at work set up the way he wants them, and things are starting to really slow down for him." She tells me about his restructure at work and their plans to take a trip to Jamaica in March. "Everything should be set by then, and we can celebrate him finally having a normal amount of work. Provided nothing goes wrong between now and then, at least."<br />
<br />
"That's awesome," I say sincerely. I've struggled watching how busy Brody is. From the outside, it's hard to see how their relationship works sometimes. To me, it's seemed like he hasn't always made Liv a priority and I know they fought about it a lot towards the beginning of their relationship. It's great to see him really making an effort to make more time in his life. I know they want kids someday, and Liv has said that she won't even talk about it until his work schedule is more manageable.<br />
<br />
"How is Alex doing?" she asks me.<br />
<br />
I shrug. "Pretty well. He's working from home some, and we've been getting out more. He's pretty self-sufficient now and only really takes pain meds once in awhile. Usually after he overdoes it." <br />
<br />
"That's great!" Liv says excitedly. Unfortunately, she has to get back to work soon, but we make plans to go out this weekend.<br />
<br />
<br />
My interview the next day goes well, and I leave it feeling hopeful. I really click with the interviewers and I like the the feel of the company. I stop on the way home to pick up some groceries, and I'm a lot more cheerful than I've been in awhile.<br />
<br />
When I get back to Alex's house, he helps me put the groceries away. I head upstairs to change out of my suit. Then I make my way back downstairs and lay on the couch, settling my head on Alex's leg. "I was thinking," I say, getting comfortable.<br />
<br />
"Wait," Alex interrupts. "If you were thinking, I think I need a beer before I listen."<br />
<br />
"Shut up, jerk," I tell him, rolling my eyes. "I was just thinking that once we're both working again like normal, productive members of society, we should plan another trip. Savannah was so much fun until...well..." I stop. I don't need to say 'until your mom went full bitch and tried to replace me.'<br />
<br />
"I was thinking too," Alex counters. "I kind of like this sweet set-up, and I thought maybe you could get a job and I'll just be a stay at home boyfriend forever."<br />
<br />
"Tomorrow's headline: woman kills boyfriend with bare hands just for the hell of it," I reply. "And anyway, who would pay your mortgage then? Because I'm surely not paying my rent <i>and </i>your mortgage."<br />
<br />
"I thought you'd appreciate my plan because it's breaking traditional gender roles!" Alex says, pretending to pout. "And anyway, I just figured you'd eventually move in. Or we'd find a new place together." He throws this part on casually, but I stiffen involuntarily.<br />
<br />
I hear him sigh, but I don't say anything. "Laur," he says gently. "You've practically been living here anyway. I'm not saying let's move in together tomorrow, but I'm also struggling with the idea of spending the rest of my life with someone that I don't even share a house with."<br />
<br />
I sit up and look at him. His jokes are gone, and he looks serious. "I'm not saying I don't ever want us to live together," I tell him uneasily. <br />
<br />
"No," he replies, looking frustrated. "Maybe in 10 years you'll be okay with some real commitment."<br />
<br />
I blink in surprise and my mouth drops open a little. I stare at him, and he returns my gaze easily. "Alex," I start, but I stop. I have no idea what to say. I finally settle on, "That's not fair."<br />
<br />
"Isn't it?" he asks. "You're terrified of commitment. Hell, we've known each other for almost 9 years at this point, and the best I can get from you is a verbal confirmation that you want to spend the rest of your life with me. All talk, no action."<br />
<br />
"Now that is <i>really </i>not fucking fair," I protest, trying not to raise my voice. "I've spent the last how many weeks here, taking care of you? I slept <i>on your hospital bed </i>after your accident. I cried in public like a huge fucking mess. I've put up with your parents, who hate me and just want me to go away, and I've done things for you that I don't even like to do for myself! So I'm sorry, but just because you don't recognize those things for what they are, it doesn't mean I'm all talk and no action. I've been nothing <i>but </i>action since the weekend before Christmas!"<br />
<br />
My voice, which rose steadily as I talked on, shakes slightly and falters on the word "Christmas." I try hard to see his perspective, and if I wasn't so angry I might be successful. But I'm livid at his accusation that I've done nothing to prove that I'm in this for the long haul. Where has he been these past 6 weeks? <br />
<br />
I see the uncertainty in his eyes, and I can tell he's thinking about what I just said. But I also see the stubborn set of his jaw, and I know this conversation is going nowhere good, and fast. "I think maybe I should go home for now," I say softly. <br />
<br />
"Sure," Alex says bitterly. "Run away."<br />
<br />
"I am <i>not </i>running away," I hiss fiercely. "I am giving us both some space so we can come back to this after we've had some time to calm down and think. You're hurt. I'm hurt. If I stay here, one or both of us will say something stupid and potentially relationship damaging. I am walking away to save this relationship."<br />
<br />
Alex doesn't say anything, and after giving him plenty of time to respond if he wants to, I stand. I force myself to walk calmly up the stairs, and I collect some of my stuff. Might as well do some of my laundry when I'm at home. I've been doing it here, but I'll need something to do at home.<br />
<br />
When I come back downstairs, Alex is standing with his keys in his hand. "What are you doing?" I ask suspiciously. Alex hasn't driven since before his accident. <br />
<br />
"Going for a drive," he snaps. I resist the urge to caution him and I just nod. He follows me out the door, locking it behind me. I don't wait around to watch him walk into his garage. I leave as soon as I get in the car. <br />
<br />
On the way home, I try to remind myself that the last 6 weeks have been really trying for both of us. I hate being unproductive and not working. Alex hates being cooped up. That's all this is--our frustration of the last 6 weeks coming out sideways. I hope. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />New Beginning, New Adventureshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08101349742999957739noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8100531732898987076.post-22378651923057066182016-02-15T17:00:00.000-06:002016-02-15T17:00:06.095-06:00Kinsley: Good EnoughOnce I started talking, I couldn't stop. Lauren, who had started off leaning against the kitchen doorframe, sat down heavily in the armchair in the corner after a couple minutes. She listened silently as I verbally vomited the events of the last few weeks at her. <br />
<br />
When I was done, Lauren pursed her lips and just looked at me for several seconds. I looked away and pulled my knees up to my chest, bracing myself for the verbal smackdown I was sure I was about to receive. Finally, she surprised me by saying, "When are you going to stop feeling like you're not good enough for him?"<br />
<br />
My head snapped up and I stared at her. She met my gaze and stared back. "What are you talking about?" I asked.<br />
<br />
"Kinsley, come on," Lauren said. "Look, I don't know enough about pre-college Kinsley to know if something has happened that's made you have this weird inferiority complex that I think you have. But I know self-sabotage when I see it, and you are guilty."<br />
<br />
I narrowed my eyes. "You think I'm <i>trying </i>to fuck up my relationship?"<br />
<br />
"No," she replied, shaking her head. "I don't think you're trying to fuck up your relationship. I don't think you're aware of it. But I think that on some level, you feel guilty about something, or like Damien is better than you and you don't deserve him. In turn, you're doing stupid shit to confirm that belief and force him to break up with you, which will further confirm it." <br />
<br />
I looked at her skeptically. "I didn't realize you were fucking Freud," I muttered. <br />
<br />
"Listen to me," Lauren persisted. "What did you do when you guys broke up? You went out and made a bunch of questionable decisions. You might argue that you'd have done all those things before you started dating Damien, and maybe you would have. But you wouldn't have done them all in as short of a time period."<br />
<br />
"I fail to see how that has anything to do with me feeling like I'm not good enough for Damien," I said, crossing my arms.<br />
<br />
Lauren thought for a minute. "Okay. You deal with your feelings by drinking, exercising, and having sex. <i>Especially </i>with sex. Do you at least agree with that?"<br />
<br />
"Yes," I agreed grudgingly.<br />
<br />
She nodded encouragingly. I still did not see her point. Luckily for me (eyeroll) she continued. "You use sex to feel loved, to feel validated, to feel happy, to deal with being pissed off or hurt." I glared at her, not appreciating the first two things. "When you and Damien broke up, you went out and had a bunch of sex to deal with being hurt and angry, and to feel validated. It was like you needed to prove to yourself that you were good enough. That men wanted you."<br />
<br />
"Yeah, but not really, because I was still miserable."<br />
<br />
"That's exactly my point!" Lauren crowed. I rolled my eyes. "You were still miserable because men wanted you, but they didn't love you."<br />
<br />
"You know what, I'm really sorry that I called you," I muttered. "You're not making any fucking sense and you're starting to piss me off."<br />
<br />
"You should have called Liv, she could have explained this a lot better and been a lot nicer about it," Lauren said. <br />
<br />
"Oh, have you been talking about me?" I snapped.<br />
<br />
Lauren nodded. "Yes. I mean, not as an ongoing thing, but we were both worried about you the night you left the bar with Cole. So we did talk about you."<br />
<br />
I stood up and glared at Lauren. "You are an asshole," I told her. "If you were so fucking worried, why didn't you say anything to me?"<br />
<br />
Lauren's cheeks flushed a little and she glanced down. "You're right, and I'm sorry," she said, looking back up at me. "We should have. We wanted to, but I was worried that if we tried, you'd get angry and push us away. Then we wouldn't be around if something like this happened. We thought it would be better for you if we didn't say anything at the time."<br />
<br />
"Whatever, Lauren," I muttered, shaking my head. I walked to the door. "I'm going home."<br />
<br />
"How?"<br />
<br />
"I only live a half mile away, remember? I'll walk." Of course she doesn't remember, she's been MIA lately. <br />
<br />
My hand was on the doorknob when the doorbell rang, making me jump. "Pizza is here," Lauren said softly. I backed away from the door and let her answer it. Lauren answered the door, paid the delivery driver, and shut the door. "Look, if you want to go home, I'll take you. If you want to eat, I'll shut up. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, and I'm sorry that I did. I'm sorry that Liv and I were talking about you and didn't just tell you we were worried. If you want to talk, I'll listen and I'll keep my mouth shut."<br />
<br />
I glanced at the door and then back at Lauren. I was still a little wobbly from my 4 martinis, and the pizza did smell really good. My stomach grumbled softly and I decided to stay. "I'll eat," I said finally. "And I'll also take you up on that offer to shut up."<br />
<br />
"Okay," she said, grinning. "I'll get some plates." <br />
<br />
We sat and ate in silence. I didn't care for the quiet, so I grabbed the remote and turned the TV on. I flipped through the channels until I found some Friends re-runs and left it there. After about 20 minutes of neither of us talking, I looked at Lauren. "Inferiority complex?" I asked. "Really?"<br />
<br />
"Okay, that was a really poor choice of words," she said. "Sorry."<br />
<br />
I was quiet again for a few more minutes. Then, still staring at the TV, I started talking. "His family is amazing, and mine is a disaster. I don't talk to either of my parents. The last time I saw my mom she threw something at my head and called me a whore. The last time I saw my dad he physically assaulted me and basically disowned me. My brother spent half my childhood in jail and just resurfaced a couple months ago. Damien's mom loves me and his sister is married and has two great kids. Even his stepdad is really nice to me. <br />
<br />
"Damien has his shit together and can stay calm in a crisis or an argument. When he's pissed at me, he tells me calmly. When I'm pissed at him, he listens while I yell at him and act like a fool. Meanwhile, I've fucked half of Colorado's male population and lose my shit if someone looks at me wrong. When I'm mad I yell and say hurtful things and run away like a child. Aside from having a good job and a retirement account and some investments and a decent amount of money in savings, I'm not very good at being a grownup." <br />
<br />
Lauren listened silently, as promised. "So," I finished, "I don't even think that it's just that I <i>think</i> I'm not good enough for him. I'm just not. I'm a disaster."<br />
<br />
"Why do you think Damien is with you?" Lauren asked softly.<br />
<br />
"I...don't know," I replied, biting my lip. "I don't even know."<br />
<br />
"He seems like a pretty reasonable guy," she pointed out. I nodded. "He seems like he knows what he wants." <br />
<br />
"Yeah," I agreed. "He's got his shit together." <br />
<br />
"So why would someone with his shit together be in a relationship with 'a disaster'?"<br />
<br />
"I don't know," I said again. <br />
<br />
"Think about it," she prodded gently. "Why is Alex with me?"<br />
<br />
"Because he's loved you forever," I said, rolling my eyes.<br />
<br />
"But why does he love me?"<br />
<br />
I shrugged and rubbed the back of my neck. "Because you guys just...work. You get each other's sense of humor. You have things in common. He probably enjoys having sex with you."<br />
<br />
Lauren laughed. "I hope so," she said. I smiled a little. "Do you think he'd be with me if he thought I wasn't good enough for him?"<br />
<br />
"I see what you're doing," I muttered. "Of course he wouldn't."<br />
<br />
"Does Damien act like you're not good enough for him? Does he treat you like you're less than him? Not let you make decisions? Is he disrespectful to you?"<br />
<br />
"Of course not," I replied. "I wouldn't be with him if he did. He treats me better than anyone else ever has."<br />
<br />
"Then you're getting in your own way, because you're the only one that doesn't see you two as equals," she said bluntly. "And my guess is him treating you so well is part of the 'problem' because you don't think you deserve it."<br />
<br />
I didn't say anything for a long time. I toyed with a piece of pizza crust laying on my plate. "So what do I do about it?" I asked finally.<br />
<br />
"Talk to him," Lauren answered immediately. "Tell him all of this. And Liv would suggest therapy, I'm sure." I snorted. Tonight was the first that Lauren was hearing about any of my shit, why would I tell a stranger? "Talk to him, at least," Lauren said. "I love you two together, and I want you to be happy."<br />
<br />
I looked around for a clock, then realized Lauren didn't have one. Another check in my grownup column. I may stomp my feet and slam doors when I'm pissed, but at least I have a clock in my living room. I pulled out my phone. It was not quite 8pm. "Call him," Lauren urged me gently. "If you want to see him tonight, I can take you."<br />
<br />
I glanced at her, then back at my phone. She stood and took both our plates into the kitchen, then I heard the water running. With a shaking finger, I pulled up my recent calls and tapped Damien's name. He answered halfway through the second ring. "Kinsley." The way he said my name in greeting made me feel sad for some reason.<br />
<br />
"Hi," I said quietly. <br />
<br />
"Hi," he replied. "Are you okay?"<br />
<br />
"Yeah," I answered. "I think so, anyway." I paused, but he didn't say anything. "Damien, I'm sorry for the way I acted this morning. Can we talk? I want to see you."<br />
<br />
"Yes," he said immediately. "Should I go there, or do you want to come here?"<br />
<br />
"I'm at Lauren's, actually. I, um, don't have my car. She said she could drive me over there if you want." <br />
<br />
"I can come get you," he responded. "Give me 15 minutes, okay?"<br />
<br />
"Okay," I agreed. <br />
<br />
Lauren appeared in the doorway shortly after we hung up. "Do you need a ride over there?" she asked. <br />
<br />
"No, he's coming to get me," I said. "Thank you for everything tonight." <br />
<br />
"You're welcome. And I really am sorry I started off kind of poorly."<br />
<br />
"It's fine," I said. "I wouldn't have heard you any other way."<br />
<br />
Damien arrived 15 minutes later, just like he said. I hugged Lauren impulsively--rare for us. I couldn't remember the last time I'd hugged her. "Good luck!" she told me.<br />
<br />
"Thanks," I replied. "I might need it." Then I opened the door and left the safety of Lauren's house and headed towards Damien's truck at the curb.New Beginning, New Adventureshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08101349742999957739noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8100531732898987076.post-27366936467798704882016-02-14T14:54:00.003-06:002018-11-02T18:42:44.632-05:00In All the Wrong Places<i>Guys, I am SO excited to launch my new blog on March 1st. I can't wait to find out what you all think of the story. It follows Jenna, a recently divorced 29-year-old woman who is living in Minnesota and trying to figure out how put her life back together. Unlike Liv's story, there is no life-altering move across the country, no devastatingly handsome, wealthy man to sweep her off her feet, and no guys falling all over her every time she turns around. In short, it's a little more realistic. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>I have about half of the first post for you guys here as a sneak peek. If you like what you read, please head over to <span style="color: #0000ee;"><u>https://inallthewrong-places.blogspot.com/</u></span> on March 1st to read the entire first post!</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>_________________________________</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“I’m getting a divorce,” I said matter-of-factly into the phone.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Jenna, what are you talking about?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Chelsea sounded confused.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And she should be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had no idea that I was unhappy in my marriage, much less that I had been considering getting divorced from my husband of just less than five years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Actually,” I corrected myself, “I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">am </i>divorced.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The divorce was finalized yesterday, four weeks exactly after the day we stood in line to sign our do-it-yourself divorce agreement in front of the court administrator.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I don’t understand,” Chelsea muttered, dumbfounded.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You guys were just here two months ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You were fine then.”<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No, we weren’t fine then,” I admitted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“We haven’t been fine for almost two years.”<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Why didn’t you tell me?” she demanded.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had progressed from confused to angry, and I can’t say I blamed her.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Because I didn’t tell anyone,” I lied.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That wasn’t true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had told two people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But Chelsea, my best friend since Kindergarten, didn’t need to know that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All it would do was hurt her feelings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The truth was that Chelsea hadn’t picked up on my subtle hints that things weren’t perfectly pleasant in my world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was too busy being head over heels in love with her shiny new husband, and it never seemed like the right time to tell her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> And really, is there any such thing as the "right time" to tell someone you think you might want to divorce your husband?</span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“But what happened?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was back to confused, and I debated what to tell her.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m not sure.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Another lie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“We just…I guess we just don’t love each other anymore.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not a lie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not the whole truth either.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“But did he cheat on you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did he hit you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There has to be a reason!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The pendulum swung back towards anger, this time tinged with incredulousness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No.” Blatant lie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“And no.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Truth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So you just don’t love each other anymore?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And that’s it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s not a very good reason to get a divorce,” Chelsea admonished.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I rolled my eyes, even though she couldn’t see me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Who gave you the authority to decide what good reasons to get a divorce are?” I snapped.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was quickly losing my patience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Jenna, I’m sorry,” she said contritely.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I’m just trying to understand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From my perspective, this is all very sudden and doesn’t make a lot of sense.”<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“I know,” I replied.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t say anything else, and we were both silent for long enough that it started to get uncomfortable.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Are you okay?” she asked finally—the first bit of sympathy she’d shown since I’d dropped the bomb on her.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“I am,” I said.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I really am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m…well, it’s better this way.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, on some level, I was okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t want to be pitied.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t want to be coddled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted to put this part of my life behind me and move on to something (hopefully) better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“What can I do?”<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Nothing!” I chirped brightly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The brightness, just like half of my statements in this conversation, was a bald-faced lie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Maybe we can get together sometime soon, though?”<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Definitely,” she agreed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Maybe after the holidays?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She reminded me that Christmas was in three weeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Merry Christmas to me!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How do you wrap a divorce?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“Sure,” I replied.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“We’ll plan something soon.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
With that, we finished up our bizarre conversation and hung up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The conversation would have gone much differently if I had told her the truth about my divorce.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>About how I’d caught him cheating—again—two Februaries ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>About how we’d gone to counseling, where he’d acted ashamed and contrite and apologetic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>About how the writing was on the wall, but I couldn’t seem to read it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>About how I had spent the last two years married to a man I didn’t trust who continued to cheat on me up until the day I had finally reached my bullshit limit.<br />
<br />
_______________________________<br />
<br />
<i>That's all you get for now! I hope you're all excited to read more because I'm definitely excited to share more. As always, thanks for being the best readers--it's because of you guys that I want to keep sharing more of my writing!</i><br />
<br />
<br /></div>
New Beginning, New Adventureshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08101349742999957739noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8100531732898987076.post-74998373445919260812016-02-13T21:12:00.000-06:002016-02-13T21:14:10.952-06:00Kinsley: Tough Love<i>Happy Saturday, all! Come back tomorrow for a special Valentine's Day treat: an excerpt from the first post of my new story, "In All the Wrong Places." The blog launches with the first post on March 1st, but of course I'm going to torture you all with a sneak peek! </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>___________________________________________</i><br />
<br />
I woke up early the next morning. Really early. Uncomfortable under Damien's arm, I carefully extricated myself, leaving Damien sprawled across his half of the bed and part of mine. It was just a little after 5, almost an hour before Damien would get up. <br />
<br />
I quietly got dressed, pulling on a tank top and a pair of pajama pants that were laying on the floor next to the bed. Once downstairs, I made some coffee before I grabbed a blanket and curled up on the couch. I flipped the TV on and turned the volume down enough that I was certain it wouldn't wake Damien. <br />
<br />
My eyes glazed over as I mindlessly watched some stupid early morning show for about 40 minutes. The perky blonde hosts were chirping cheerfully away about some new fad diet when I uncurled myself from the nest I'd created on the couch and walked into the kitchen to make some breakfast. <br />
<br />
I'd just started scrambling some eggs when I heard footsteps on the stairs. Seconds later, Damien appeared in the kitchen. "You're up early," he said softly, wrapping his arms around me from behind and resting his chin on my shoulder. <br />
<br />
"I woke up around 5," I told him. I considered telling him I wasn't tired anymore or couldn't sleep, then decided not to lie and just ended my statement as it was. <br />
<br />
He dropped a light, tender kiss where my neck meets my shoulder and tightened his arms around me. "I got a little worried when I woke up and you weren't there," he said. <br />
<br />
I abruptly set down the fork I was using to aggressively over-beat the eggs and turned to face him. "You were?"<br />
<br />
"I still am," he admitted. I looked at him curiously, and he took a step back and sighed. "Kinsley, I can't tell where your head is, and I don't think you know either. You do impulsive things when you're not thinking clearly."<br />
<br />
I bristled and clenched my teeth. "You said you trusted me," I spat, suddenly furious.<br />
<br />
Damien tried to move closer to me and I dodged him, stepping to the side. "I do," he said calmly. "But I don't think you trust yourself, and that worries me."<br />
<br />
"You don't know anything," I hissed. I didn't know why I was so angry all of a sudden, but I was and it was overwhelming. "Don't tell me how I feel!"<br />
<br />
"Kinsley," he started, but I didn't let him finish whatever he was going to say.<br />
<br />
"No," I interrupted. "Don't. Just...go. Please."<br />
<br />
Damien's level gaze wavered, and he looked confused. "Go?" he repeated. "Kinsley..." His calm was crumbling and I could tell he thought I meant something that I didn't mean. <br />
<br />
"Not forever," I amended, trying to think clearly. "Just...I can't have this conversation right now. It's not even 6 am."<br />
<br />
I could tell he wanted to argue. I could tell he wanted to protest, to demand to stay, to talk about this <i>rightnow.</i> But instead, after several long, agonizing seconds, he set his jaw and nodded. "Okay," he agreed. "I'll go." He tentatively moved towards me again, and I didn't move. He touched my elbow and kissed me softly on the cheek. "You tell me when you're ready, then." <br />
<br />
I nodded, unable to meet his eyes. Unsatisfied, he tipped my chin up with a gentle touch. I locked eyes with him and said, "I will." Damien took a deep breath, nodded again, and left the kitchen. I listened to his footsteps go up the stairs. Not even a minute later, the footsteps came back down, and then the front door opened and closed. <br />
<br />
I turned briefly back to the eggs that were now thoroughly beaten on the counter. I looked at them sitting in the bowl, yellow and slimy. Disgusted, I dumped them down the drain and shoved the bowl angrily into the dishwasher. Then I stomped upstairs to get ready. <br />
<br />
Over my lunch break, I called Lauren. I needed a reality check. She answered. "Can we do dinner tonight?" I asked, not even returning her greeting.<br />
<br />
"Sure," she replied, sounding confused by my tone. "Do you want me to invite Liv or Kendra?"<br />
<br />
"No." I needed brutal honesty, not coddling. <br />
<br />
Lauren didn't say anything for a moment, then asked, "Is everything okay?"<br />
<br />
"We'll talk tonight. I need to get back to work." Lauren accepted that and we hung up. <br />
<br />
I got to the restaurant early and sat at the bar to get a drink. I hadn't eaten breakfast and I'd just eaten a random granola bar I found in my desk for "lunch." When things got chaotic, I lost my appetite. <br />
<br />
I ordered a gin martini and sipped it a lot slower than I wanted to. I was awfully early though, and sipping slowly didn't stop me from drinking too much. I was just finishing my third when someone sat down next to me and said, "Bad day?"<br />
<br />
I blinked placidly at him, then smirked. "Something like that," I replied. I glanced at his empty scotch glass, cocked an eyebrow and asked, "What's your excuse?"<br />
<br />
"Good day," he replied with a devilish grin. He was handsome in a cheap department store catalogue sort of way. "Promotion and a hefty raise."<br />
<br />
I was bored already, but humored him. "Congratulations," I said. I turned and thanked the bartender, a tiny waif of a girl who could barely reach past the call liquors, as she deposited my fourth martini in front of me.<br />
<br />
"My name is--"<br />
<br />
"I actually don't give a fuck," I interrupted. I stared straight ahead, taking a good sized drink. <br />
<br />
After a moment of what I can only imagine was stunned silence, Mr. JCPenney snorted. "Then I guess I don't care about yours either," he replied. I thought he'd leave, but he leaned closer to me. Apparently bitches turned him on. "So, how about you finish that drink, and--"<br />
<br />
"Have you lost your goddamned mind?" I turned my head and saw Lauren standing behind me, her disgust apparent. "Did you pay cash or do you have a tab?" she demanded, gesturing at my drink. <br />
<br />
"Cash," I informed her. I almost laughed at the bewildered look on Promotion-and-Hefty-Raise's face. <br />
<br />
"Then take that and get over here, because I got us a table and you're being an idiot." <br />
<br />
"I actually just told this man that I don't give a fuck about him," I responded calmly, shrugging as I stood. "Apparently he likes that sort of thing." I looked seriously at Lauren and said in an exaggerated whisper, "Mommy must not have loved him enough." <br />
<br />
"I am so sorry," Lauren apologized to the asshole next to me, who now looked angry. She grabbed my forearm and pulled me away from the bar. "What the actual fuck is wrong with you?" she snapped, after practically shoving me into a booth on the opposite side of the restaurant.<br />
<br />
"Didn't eat enough and drank too much, I imagine," I replied. I was starting to become amused by her clear irritation.<br />
<br />
"And I suppose you drove here, as well," she said with disdain. I nodded. "Well knock it off before I take you home."<br />
<br />
"Sorry, Mom," I replied. "Oh wait, my mommy didn't love me enough either, and she wouldn't give a shit if I got home safely."<br />
<br />
Lauren gaped at me. Our server showed up at that second but paused, looking between Lauren and me. "I'm really sorry," Lauren said. "Something came up and we need to leave."<br />
<br />
"Oh, of course," the server replied, looking confused. "I hope everything is okay."<br />
<br />
"I do too," I said to her, nodding seriously. <br />
<br />
Lauren stood abruptly and stared pointedly at me. "Let's <i>go,</i>" she hissed when I didn't immediately stand. I followed her dutifully, becoming aware of the fact that I was not fit to be seen in public right now. As soon as we were outside, Lauren almost exploded. "You are a mess," she chastised me. I didn't answer.<br />
<br />
She pulled out her phone and dialed someone while we walked in what I assumed was the direction of her car. "Yeah, can you order a pizza for delivery to my house?" she asked someone. She paused, listening. "Thank you. I might not be back tonight." Another pause, with a glance at me. "I'm not sure, but I hope to find out....okay, love you too." She hung up and looked at me, making sure I was still walking along next to her.<br />
<br />
She said nothing more until we were in her car. Then she turned to me and said, "You and Damien broke up again." It was a statement, not a question, and said it kindly. Well, for Lauren anyway.<br />
<br />
"No," I replied. "Not yet."<br />
<br />
"Not yet?" she asked. I didn't say anything. "Kinsley, does this have something to do with Cole?"<br />
<br />
When she said that, I crumpled against the door. I stayed silent. She sighed softly and started the car. She drove straight to her house and we went inside. "Do you want something to eat while we wait for pizza?" she asked me. I shook my head. She went into the kitchen and came back with a large glass of water, which she handed to me wordlessly. I took several long drinks while she stood and watched me.<br />
<br />
Finally, I set the glass aside and looked up. I tucked my hands between my knees to make them stop shaking, and then I finally spilled the entire story to Lauren.<br />
<br />
__________________________<br />
<br />
<i>Don't forget to come back tomorrow for your sneak peek of "In All the Wrong Places"!</i><br />
<br />
<br />New Beginning, New Adventureshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08101349742999957739noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8100531732898987076.post-65667997563181024102016-02-10T21:28:00.001-06:002016-02-13T09:36:43.483-06:00Lauren: FiredI sit down heavily on the couch and scan the article:<br />
<i>Several top executives have been placed on paid leave while an undisclosed, independent </i><i>company investigates claims of sexual harassment. One former employee from the </i><i>company's Boulder office has come forward and said that she was sexually harassed on several </i><i>occasions by her former supervisor. Sean Condin, the supervisor in question, was quickly and quietly moved to one of the Denver locations following the incident. This appears to be his second move within the company. Condin, who was already on paid leave for unknown reasons, was fired yesterday amidst the accusations.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
There's more, but I've seen enough. "Wow," I say, slowly folding the newspaper. Then the dots connect and I look up at Alex in panic. "Shit, what if they think I violated the non-disclosure?"<br />
<br />
"The employee in the article is from the Boulder office," Alex reminds me. "And from the sounds of it, this is something that has been in the works for awhile. Probably since before you even quit." <br />
<br />
"Which explains why they were so eager to give me a nice severance package and have me sign the non-disclosure," I reply. "What the fuck."<br />
<br />
"That means they knew this was happening the whole time," Alex finishes my thought. "That's..."<br />
<br />
"I know." We look at each for several seconds, then I shake my head and say, "I'm glad I don't work there anymore."<br />
<br />
"I am too," Alex says. <br />
<br />
I narrow my eyes. "And I knew there was something off with him! I told you."<br />
<br />
"You did tell me."<br />
<br />
"And you blew me off," I accuse him. <br />
<br />
"I did blow you off," he agrees again. "I will never blow you off again." Then he smirks, because apparently he's 12 and "blow you off" is funny.<br />
<br />
"Good, because I imagine you still want to be blown at some point in your life," I retort. <br />
<br />
"Mmm, I kind of want to be blown right now," he replies, cocking an eyebrow at me.<br />
<br />
"That sucks," I tell him, standing up. I intend to go back into the kitchen to finish the dishes I was washing when he called for me. He snorts and I roll my eyes. "Go ahead, make the joke," I dare him.<br />
<br />
"Well it's not fun anymore," he complains. <br />
<br />
I smirk and head towards the kitchen. "Neither is blowing you!" I call over my shoulder.<br />
<br />
"Ouch!" he yells back. "I'll remember that!"<br />
<br />
"File it away with your fond memories of blow jobs!" I shoot back. <br />
<br />
I hear him start laughing and I grin to myself. Now that Alex is starting to work again a little, he's been in a really great mood most of the time, rather than just some of the time. I've even dragged him grocery shopping with me just to get him out of the house, even though I absolutely hate grocery shopping with him. He's like a small child, wandering away and coming back with fruit snacks or random cookies and throwing them in the cart. I reach down to grab something, stand up, and he's gone. Reach for something else, turn around, and he's back with candy. It's the worst. But getting him out of the house helps his mood more than anything else, so I suffer in silence.<br />
<br />
I'm just finishing up the dishes when Alex yells, "Your work ex-boyfriend is texting you again!"<br />
<br />
"You must mean my ex-work ex-boyfriend," I correct him, walking back into the living room. <br />
<br />
"I have no idea what I mean," he replies, handing my phone to me. <br />
<br />
"Are you supporting my ex-work-romance?" I tease him, sitting down next to him.<br />
<br />
He snorts. "No, I already read the text when it popped up on the screen and it's clearly not romantic in nature." I cut my eyes at him and he laughs. "And also I trust you, and all that jazz."<br />
<br />
I roll my eyes and open the text. It says, <i>"Holy shit. You see the paper?"</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
"<i>Yes, can't say I'm shocked." </i>I text back. I see Alex trying not to peek and I thrust my phone in front of his face. "You can just look if you want to," I tell him, smirking. <br />
<br />
"I don't want to!" he insists, shutting his eyes. I laugh and hold my phone an inch from his face so his eyes cross when he opens them. "Seriously, are you 12?" he asks, laughing.<br />
<br />
"Says the guy who was making blow job jokes earlier," I reply, shaking my head.<br />
<br />
"No, I believe you tragically took that pleasure away from me," he says.<br />
<br />
I can't help it, I burst out laughing. "It has so many meanings," I say when I finally get my shit together. My phone vibrates in my hand, startling me enough that I drop it. Alex tries not to laugh, but when I try to use my toes to pull it closer and end up sending it skittering across the room, he cracks up, holding his ribs with both hands. "You're the worst," I mutter, walking over and picking it up.<br />
<br />
"I'm the worst for laughing because you dropped your phone and then kicked it across the room?" he asks, wiping tears off his cheeks. <br />
<br />
I don't answer, simply glaring at him instead. I swing my feet up onto the couch, propping them against his leg, as I text back and forth with Logan for a couple minutes. Alex takes one of my feet and starts massaging it. "If you're trying to win back blow job privileges you're doing a great job," I inform him.<br />
<br />
"I'm not even," he replies, shaking his head. "Don't think everything you've done for me in the last 6 weeks has gone unnoticed. I think you've totally earned a foot rub." He stops abruptly, placing my foot back down on the couch. "In another 6 weeks, I'll do the other one."<br />
<br />
I raise my eyes from my phone and he's smirking at me. "You're the worst," I tell him. "I'm going out for lunch and I'm not taking you with me and I'm not bringing anything back for you." <br />
<br />
"Finally some peace and quiet. See you later!" he replies, fighting to keep a straight face. <br />
<br />
I lift my phone to my ear and pretend to be having a conversation. "Hi, Liv? I'm going to need a shovel and an alibi." <br />
<br />
Alex grins and leans over, grabbing my hand and tugging. "Come here," he requests. I shift around and settle myself carefully against his right side. "I love you."<br />
<br />
"I love you too," I reply. "And I know you appreciate all the hard, agonizing work I've put in over the last several weeks. I'll be patiently awaiting your repayment."<br />
<br />
Alex chuckles. "Okay, I'll keep that in mind."<br />
<br />
I have plans to have lunch with Kendra, who has the week off work. Alex jokingly complains about me leaving him on his own for lunch but quickly shuts up when I offer to bring him back some food. I haven't spent much time with Kendra lately. She was pretty sick for the first couple months of her pregnancy so she wasn't doing much.<br />
<br />
"Hi!" I greet her cheerfully when I walk into the restaurant. She's standing just inside the door, waiting patiently for me. We hug briefly, because it has been that long, and I grin at her. "You look so good," I tell her.<br />
<br />
"I feel fat," she complains. She smooths her shirt carefully over her itty bitty bump. "It's just enough that I just look really bloated."<br />
<br />
"Not a chance," I assure her honestly. <br />
<br />
We sit down and order an appetizer, then start catching up. I miss her, and I don't even realize it until we're sitting here talking. Missing people is weird like that for me. <br />
<br />
"So I just got a promotion a couple weeks ago, and I feel bad because--" Kendra starts.<br />
<br />
"You got a promotion?" I ask, surprised. "I had no idea! Congratulations!"<br />
<br />
She smiles shyly. "I did," she confirms. "I haven't seen you so I guess I didn't even think to tell you, I'm sorry."<br />
<br />
"Don't be," I insist, feeling guilty for not keeping in touch with her better. "Okay, go on."<br />
<br />
"I feel bad because they don't know I'm pregnant. I'm worried they're going to be pissed that I didn't tell them when they offered it to me, but I was worried they would take it back."<br />
<br />
"I don't think that's legal," I say, shaking my head. <br />
<br />
She shrugs. "Even so, I didn't want them to second guess it. Though I guess they will when I tell them, anyway."<br />
<br />
We chat about her promotion for awhile and then I fill her in about what's new with my former job. an hour passes really quickly and I'm disappointed when she says she has to go home to meet a contractor that's doing some remodeling on their house before the baby comes. <br />
<br />
We hug again and I get in the car. I'm driving home when my phone rings. It's a number I don't recognize, and I ignore it. It rings again as I'm walking into Alex's house. Irritated, I answer it. "Is this Lauren?" an unfamiliar voice asks.<br />
<br />
"Yes, who is this?" I snap.<br />
<br />
"My name is Jacob, and I'm a reporter for the Denver Post. Were you recently fired or let go from your job? I'd like to talk to you about your former company."<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i><br /></i>
New Beginning, New Adventureshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08101349742999957739noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8100531732898987076.post-23956230512021571802016-02-09T14:35:00.000-06:002016-02-09T14:35:08.487-06:00I'm sorryI'm sorry, I suck! I feel like the wheels have come off.<br />
<br />
My Lauren post is almost done, but I'm about to head to class so I can't finish it now. I WILL finish and post it tomorrow (Wednesday) evening. Then you can expect a second post this week on Friday or Saturday.<br />
<br />
I will actually have writing time this weekend (and intend on being pretty lazy elsewhere in my life, because I need to recharge a little) so I hope to get a couple posts written to have a little cushion. <br />
<br />
I know a bunch of blogs have ended recently and a couple have just disappeared, and I know it can be frustrating and disappointing. That is the last thing I want to do to you guys, which is why I try so hard to keep you up to date on what's going on here. I can tell from the number of hits that you guys have been checking for new posts and I want to really thank you for your patience. If you want to know when new posts are up without having to check back, I highly recommend you follow me on Bloglovin' or by email. You can find those links on right side. (mobile users, you can scroll all the way down, hit "view web version" and subscribe from there. <br />
<br />
Thank you again for your patience, and I'm looking forward to getting my next post up tomorrow!New Beginning, New Adventureshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08101349742999957739noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8100531732898987076.post-59838630734082863352016-02-06T14:49:00.003-06:002016-02-06T14:50:03.192-06:00Kinsley: Blame<i>Hi guys, thank you so much for your kind words and patience waiting for this post! This week ended up being a total shitshow and it was ridiculous. I've got a Lauren post in the works that I hope to have up tomorrow or Monday. </i><br />
<i>______________________________________</i><br />
<br />
I kept myself busy for the rest of Sunday. I went to the gym, I ran some errands, I cleaned my house. By the end of the day I felt better and was able to relax and then sleep like a normal person. <br />
<br />
My workday was so slow on Monday. I wasn't busy and it felt like it dragged on and on. Finally it was time to leave. I actually left about 20 minutes early because I wanted to have enough time to go home and spend some extra time getting ready for dinner with Damien. <br />
<br />
When I got home, I took a quick shower, being careful not to get my hair wet while I shaved. I dried off, slathered lotion all over my body, and quickly pulled one of my favorite casual dresses on. I touched up my makeup, darkening my eye liner slightly and adding an extra coat of mascara, reapplying my blush, and finding the perfect lip gloss. Then I ran my flat iron over a couple pieces of hair that had done something weird over the course of the day. I admired my reflection in the mirror, pleased. I really did love my new haircut.<br />
<br />
I was a little nervous, just because I hadn't talked to Damien since I left his house yesterday morning and I wasn't sure if dinner would be awkward or how he'd be. It turned out that I didn't need to worry. He rang my doorbell just as I was finishing applying lip gloss, and I ran down the stairs to let him in. "Hi," I said, slightly self-consciously.<br />
<br />
"Hi, Kinsley," he replied warmly. Then he looked me up and down and grinned. "Are you actually ready?"<br />
<br />
I laughed. "I am, for once!" I told him. "But only because I left work early." Damien started laughing, and I was so relieved that everything felt normal. <br />
<br />
"Come here," he said, once he had collected himself. I finished sliding my feet into my shoes and stepped over to him, looping my arms around his neck. He kissed me softly and then pulled me into a tight hug. "Should we go?" he asked my hair.<br />
<br />
"Yes, I'm starving," I replied, pulling away finally. He kept one arm around my back and briefly rested his hand against my face, stroking my jaw and my neck before smiling and letting both hands drop so I could step away and grab my coat. He held it while I slid my arms into it, then we left the house.<br />
<br />
We ordered a bottle of wine and a couple appetizers to share. Things felt so close to normal I could almost ignore the nagging voice in the back of my head that wanted to keep telling me over and over that I fucked up. We talked about our days and I told Damien a story about an idiot at the gym the day before. <br />
<br />
We didn't linger long after we finished before we headed back to my house. In the car, Damien's fingers trailed under my skirt and up my leg before stopping and resting his hand on my upper thigh, his fingers lightly tapping against my leg. I sighed softly and moved my legs apart a little more. His hand immediately slid higher, stopping just short of where I was hoping it'd go. "Trying to torture me?" I asked him.<br />
<br />
"I would never do something like that," he replied without taking his eyes off the road. But he smirked as he moved his fingers, stroking my inner thigh lightly. I sunk lower in my seat, trying to press my hips towards his hand, but it remained planting firmly where it was on my thigh.<br />
<br />
After a 15 minute drive that felt like forever, we finally made it back to my house. Damien barely let me get my high-heeled ankle boots off before he pulled me close and kissed me. I pushed one hand into his hair and gripped his shirt with the other, relieved at how normal it felt. He pulled his lips away from mine and kissed along my jaw to my neck. I leaned back against the door and groaned when his hand slipped up my skirt, sliding along my tights up my inner thigh. He teased me with his fingers through my tights and underwear until I wiggled away to get them off of me and out of his way. <br />
<br />
Once I had the clothing barrier gone, I grabbed his arms and kissed him again. Damien again moved his lips to my neck, this time the other side. "Do you want me to fuck you, or do you want it nice and slow?" he asked. The combination of the words (which were always unexpected from him) and his breath on my ear made me shiver in anticipation.<br />
<br />
He was watching me, and I looked up at him and softly said, "Both."<br />
<br />
At that, Damien grinned. "You've got it," he said. <br />
<br />
He pulled my dress over my head and spun me around, planting his left hand between my shoulder blades and pushing me up against the door face first. I squirmed impatiently as he undid his pants with one hand. Finally I heard his pants hit the floor, then he slid his fingers between my legs and got me worked into a frenzy. When he finally slid his right arm under my right leg and pulled it up, bracing his hand against the door, and slammed into me, I felt like I had been on the edge of an orgasm for hours. The hand between my shoulder blades lifted now that he could press my body against the door with his own. Since I couldn't see anything he was doing with that hand, it took me by surprise when he grabbed a handful of my hair and used it to turn my head so he could kiss me. I kissed him desperately, moaning against his lips. He kept a tight grip on my hair, then pulled my leg up a little higher. His hand was high enough now to free my breast from my bra, and he pulled and twisted my nipple as he thrust into me hard enough to shake the door. I cried out as I came, and if it wasn't for his body against mine and his arm hooked under my leg, I would have been on the floor.<br />
<br />
He stayed pressed tightly against me, grinding his hips against mine instead of thrusting until I resumed normal functioning. He pulled out of me, still hard, kicked off his shoes and pants, and pried my sweaty, trembling body away from the door. Then he lifted me and carried me upstairs into my room, where he made good on the second half of his offer. I came twice more before he finally finished, and I slumped into a breathless heap against him when he rolled off of me. "Jesus," I muttered. <br />
<br />
"Yeah," he agreed. <br />
<br />
We laid there silently for a really long time. Damien was absently stroking my shoulder with his thumb when I suddenly blurted out, "How did you do it?"<br />
<br />
"Do what?" he asked, yawning.<br />
<br />
I wriggled out of his arms and pushed myself up on one elbow so I could look at him. He opened his eyes and watched me, waiting for me to clarify. "Just forget about everything and move on?"<br />
<br />
He considered this thoughtfully. "Well, I don't know. I guess I just did. Maybe because it was just a kiss that you didn't want and ended? It's not like you had sex with him."<br />
<br />
I frowned. "You don't think it was my fault," I said.<br />
<br />
"You're right," he agreed easily. "And you do think it was your fault. Because you should have 'known better' than to let a guy that wants to have sex with you walk you to your car."<br />
<br />
"Basically."<br />
<br />
He shrugged. "If you hadn't, it probably wouldn't have happened. You're right about that. But he's the one in the wrong, because you shouldn't just go around kissing people that are in relationships and have made it perfectly clear they're not interested."<br />
<br />
Had I made it perfectly clear? I'd made it perfectly clear I was in a relationship...did that count?<br />
<br />
"Stop blaming yourself," Damien said. "I honestly think you're more upset by this than I am. I'm not really sure what that's about, but as far as I'm concerned, we're okay."<br />
<br />
I slid back down until I was laying next to him again, rolling onto my other side. Damien immediately rolled onto his side and wrapped his arm around me, pulling my back against his chest. I sagged against him, trying to relax. I wondered how long I'd feel guilty and awful about this. Damien was right, I absolutely did blame myself and think it was my fault. Wasn't it? It felt weird that he was so unfazed by it. It didn't feel real. I felt like I was waiting for him to decide he really was pissed and leave in a blaze of glory. <br />
<br />
As soon as that thought popped into my head, I immediately felt bad. I trusted Damien. He'd never lied to me, he'd never done anything to make me think that he wouldn't be honest about the way he felt. If he said he moved on, he moved on. I relaxed a little, realizing this. I still had the nagging self-blame in the back of my mind, but I was able to push it away long enough to drift off to sleep, still nestled against Damien.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />New Beginning, New Adventureshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08101349742999957739noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8100531732898987076.post-77684098924060515082016-02-02T20:47:00.002-06:002016-02-02T20:47:53.839-06:00Author's noteOne day into my new semester and I'm already running late on a post. I will for sure have one post up later this week. I'm going to still shoot for two, but if I can get a second one up, it will also be later this week. Sorry!New Beginning, New Adventureshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08101349742999957739noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8100531732898987076.post-50851811936086049552016-01-29T17:28:00.004-06:002016-01-29T17:28:51.627-06:00State of the BlogHi everyone! I go back to school next week (boo!) and I wanted to fill you in on my plans.<br />
<br />
I hope to continue to post about twice a week. I'd rather not commit to a particular schedule. I'll shoot for once early in the week (Sunday or Mondayish, in an ideal world) and once later in the week. If I'm not going to be able to post twice, I'll give you a head's up. <br />
<br />
I'm hoping to wrap up with Kinsley and Lauren in the next 4-6 weeks. I could probably write on either of them for several months more, and I might pick back up with them again in the future, but for now it's just not sustainable. I want to give them both the endings they deserve instead of getting tired of doing it or overwhelmed and just abandoning you (and them!). <br />
<br />
For the very end, I was thinking of doing a fast-forward post that wraps everyone's stories up nicely. I was thinking about doing it from Liv's point of view, for old time's sake. Thoughts on that? If you don't want Liv, who would you prefer?<br />
<br />
Don't be too sad about this blog ending, because I'm also announcing an official launch date of March 1 for my new blog! That entire story is about 60% written, in bits and pieces. It will overlap a bit with the end of this blog, but since the other is already mostly written, I don't anticipate that it will impact any posting schedules. The title of my new story is "In All the Wrong Places" and I'm really excited to share it with you all! I'll post the first post as a sneak peek in mid-February. <br />
<br />
Thank you all for your continued reading, commenting, and support! It's been so much to write Kinsley and Lauren's stories since they're both such different characters from Liv.New Beginning, New Adventureshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08101349742999957739noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8100531732898987076.post-56363327276131888812016-01-28T21:47:00.000-06:002016-01-29T17:58:21.504-06:00Kinsley: TrustI woke up a couple hours later and felt the weight of Damien's arm across me still. My shoulder was sore from laying on it but I didn't want to disturb him, so I very slowly and carefully shifted onto my stomach. Damien didn't move. His arm was still draped over me--now it was on my back. I got comfortable again and fell back to sleep.<br />
<br />
The next time I woke up, the room was bright. Damien only had blinds on the windows in here, no curtains. I groaned and rolled over, then realized that Damien was gone. Anxiety welled up and I wondered why he'd left. Had I imagined him coming in? No, I'd woken up once and he was still there. Did he wake up and decide he didn't want anything to do with me? <br />
<br />
There was only one way to find out. I pushed back the blankets and blinked a few times. My eyes felt raw and swollen. A quick trip to the bathroom confirmed that they were red and puffy. I looked terrible. I splashed some cold water on my face but it didn't help. <br />
<br />
I pulled on Damien's sweatpants, cinching the drawstring as tightly as I could. They still hung low on my hips and were comically long. I completed the amusing picture with Damien's hooded sweatshirt, which I had to fish out of blankets. Sometime during the night it had migrated out of my arms and down towards the end of the bed. <br />
<br />
I made my way downstairs and found Damien in the kitchen, making breakfast. "Coffee?" he asked me. I nodded. <br />
<br />
He poured me a cup and I thanked him when he handed it to me. "Do you want help?" I offered tentatively. <br />
<br />
He shook his head and said, "No, sit down. Is it okay if I talk while I cook?"<br />
<br />
"Sure," I replied, pulling a chair away from the table. I wrapped my hands around my coffee mug and stared at the dark liquid inside it.<br />
<br />
"First," he started, "I want you to know that I trust you completely and I believe what you told me last night."<br />
<br />
"You do?" I asked, surprised. I don't know what I was expecting him to say, but that wasn't it.<br />
<br />
"I do," he replied. He turned and looked at me. "Should I not?"<br />
<br />
"No," I said quickly. "You should. I just...wasn't expecting this conversation to start that way."<br />
<br />
"I should have told you last night, but I was so thrown off by your reaction to the situation that I didn't know what to think," he admitted. "You were so uncharacteristically upset that I didn't know what to make of it. It seemed like an out of proportion reaction to some guy kissing you and you stopping it. It was really confusing."<br />
<br />
I considered this. "Well," I said, rocking my coffee mug around on its bottom edge, "I think part of it is that something like that has never happened to me before. I mean, hell, I've never even been in a relationship this serious before, so I've never even had the opportunity to cheat or be cheated on. But it's one of those things that everyone else has such strong feelings about that I think I just panicked."<br />
<br />
I paused, and decided if I was going to be honest and vulnerable, I might as well really do it. "And you're not going to like this, and I'm sorry, but seeing him after so long was really confusing. Our...breakup, I guess, destroyed me. And he was there to help me deal with my feelings the best way I know how, which is sex. So suddenly seeing him again stirred up some sort of feelings that were weird and confusing and uncomfortable and really threw me off." <br />
<br />
Damien had been looking at me, and I caught his grimace as he turned quickly back towards the stove. "I'm sorry," I apologized, for what felt like the thousandth time, but it also didn't feel like it was nearly enough. Now that I was talking, I couldn't seem to stop myself. The words just tumbled out. "I didn't ever want to be in a relationship with him. You're the only person I want to be with. Fuck, you're pretty much the only person I've <i>ever </i>wanted to be with in my entire life. And we'd just sort of talked about the future and... And it was scary to me how quickly and easily it all happened. I never should have let him walk me to my car. That was stupid."<br />
<br />
"I don't agree," Damien said emphatically, turning to look at me. <br />
<br />
"With which part?" I asked, confused.<br />
<br />
"That it was stupid for you to let him walk you to your car. A man should be able to walk you to your car without losing his sensibilities and making a move on a woman that he knows is in a relationship. You didn't 'owe' him that kiss for his presence. He's the one that fucked up, Kinsley."<br />
<br />
"I kissed him back," I pointed out, then instantly wanted to kick myself. I really could not seem to shut the fuck up to save my relationship here.<br />
<br />
"Yeah," Damien said wryly. "You told me. And I kind of wish you hadn't. But you stopped it and were honest--<i>really </i>honest--and that's important to me."<br />
<br />
"This is weird," I blurted. "You should be mad."<br />
<br />
"You know that's not really my thing," he replied. "Look, I'd be lying if I said this didn't suck. It sucks and it's confusing and it hurts a little too. I'm not happy about it. But I trust you and I appreciate you telling me what happened. I really appreciate this entire conversation, I know it's probably been really hard for you."<br />
<br />
I looked at him, not sure what to say. He turned back to the stove and finished what he was doing, then got out plates and put pancakes and sausage on them. He brought both plates over the table. "One of the things I fucked up in my last relationship was holding on to things that upset me for too long. There's nothing I can do about what happened last night. I can either overreact and break up with you again and regret it again, or I can trust you and move on. So I'm choosing to trust you and move on."<br />
<br />
"Okay," I said, still baffled by how this conversation was going. "Well...okay."<br />
<br />
We ate our breakfast mostly quietly. It was awkward and weird and even though he had said he trusted me and was moving on, the tension in the room was heavy and kept me on the verge of tears. Damien let me wash the dishes after we finished, then said, "I know we were going to run today and spend the day together, but I think I need to be by myself today."<br />
<br />
Anxiety gripped me and I looked up at him, worried. "But I thought you said..." I trailed off and pushed my hand into my hair, tugging on it nervously.<br />
<br />
"Nothing has changed," he assured me. "I love you. I'm not mad. But I just need some space today. I'd like to take you out to dinner tomorrow, if you'd like to go."<br />
<br />
I stood there quietly. The logical and rational part of me (it exists, I swear) knew that this was reasonable. Hell, if the whole day was as tense as breakfast was, I didn't even want to be here. But the emotional part was terrified that he'd spend the day by himself and decide that maybe he didn't trust me as much as he thought he did. It was also really hard to have been as vulnerable as I was and then get kicked out. Finally, I nodded. "Yeah, I'd like that. I'm just going to change quick, if that's okay."<br />
<br />
"Of course it is," he said. "Take your time and do whatever you need to do. If you want to shower before you go that's fine too."<br />
<br />
I shook my head and hurried upstairs to change. I pulled on yesterday's clothes, made the bed, and left Damien's stuff folded carefully on the end of the bed. It would have felt weird to go into his room to leave them there.<br />
<br />
When I came downstairs, Damien stood and met me by the door. He pulled me into a fierce, tight hug and my anxiety decreased slightly. "I love you," he said.<br />
<br />
"I love you too," I replied, pressing my face hard against his shoulder. We stood there for a really long time. <br />
<br />
Finally, he loosened his grip on me and we separated. He touched my hair and said, "I really like your haircut, by the way."<br />
<br />
"Thanks," I said, feeling almost shy. "I do too, but it still feels weird." I ran my fingers through it and smiled awkwardly at him. <br />
<br />
"It doesn't look weird," he said, grinning genuinely. My face relaxed into a more normal smile. He stepped closer to me, took my face gently in both hands, and kissed me. I reached up and gripped his wrists tightly as I kissed him back. I wanted desperately to try to escalate our kiss, to try to fix the tension the best way I knew how, but I knew it wasn't a good idea. So after several seconds, I pulled back, ending the kiss before I lost my self control. <br />
<br />
"I'll see you tomorrow?" Damien asked, studying my face.<br />
<br />
"Yes," I agreed. "I'll see you tomorrow." <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />New Beginning, New Adventureshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08101349742999957739noreply@blogger.com2