(Now) Brody's Perspective: Confessions

Thank you all so much for your feedback on yesterday's post! I've got some new posts in the works based on your comments. Some will fall into the normal storyline, some will be Friday posts, and who knows, some might even end up being bonuses :) 
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It was finally Friday, and even though it was nearly 11pm before I left the office, I was thankful for the weekend.  I had stayed so late so I wouldn't have to come in tomorrow...hopefully.  As I plodded down the 8 flights of stairs between my office and my car, I realized that I had spent more than 70 hours at work this week.  Anyone who glamorizes owning their own business deserves a solid right hook to the jaw.  It's hard fucking work.

The benefit of leaving the office at 11pm was the lack of traffic.  This crazy rain certainly didn't hurt, either.  As I cruised out of town towards my house, my mind wandered to the person that had been occupying so much of its time lately: Liv.  As had become my habit, I let my thoughts scroll through our encounters since I'd been back.

When I watched her walk into happy hour that first day I was back, I knew I had made the right choice, even if she was seeing someone else.  When she walked away from me, I was pretty sure I could have put my fist right through the brick wall behind me.  She had seemed so angry, and something else that I couldn't quite put my finger on.  Scared, almost.  I could handle her being angry at me, but being scared to be around me?  That killed me.  I hoped I was reading it wrong.

I wanted to hate that guy she was with, James.  I really did.  I was ready to hate him.  But it turned out that there wasn't much to hate.  He was exactly the type of guy I imagined Liv with--besides me, of course.  And she seemed happy.  Nervous, but still happy.  I couldn't begrudge her that, even if it hurt to see her with someone else.  But even though she seemed happy, there was still something there that wasn't quite right.  Drunk me had been just about to tell her I was in love with her when James was in the bathroom that night, but he came back before I could gather my courage.  Even drunk me is scared of rejection, apparently. 

And I really didn't mean to kiss her on Christian and Kendra's deck.  That wasn't my intention when I went out there.  It just sort of happened, and for the 10 seconds that we were kissing, everything was perfect again.  In those 10 seconds, I made up my mind:  I was going to tell her that I was in love with her.  Then she walked away from me for the second time, and I knew those words would never come out of my mouth unless she said them first. 

I was surprised to realize I was on my street already.  I pulled my SUV into the garage and dragged myself inside.  I briefly debated throwing myself directly into my bed, clothes, shoes and all, but practicality won out, and I changed into a pair of shorts.  My bed felt amazing after my 16 hour day and I was asleep almost instantly. 

Something startled me awake.  I blinked at my clock and saw it was almost 1am.  I tried to make sense of what I had heard that had woken me up.  Was it the doorbell?  It couldn't be, because who would be ringing my doorbell at 1am?  I started to close my eyes again, but I realized that if someone had been ringing my doorbell at 1am, it was probably important.  I debated for several more seconds, then I stood and walked into the hall.

I fumbled for the light switch and finally got it on so I wouldn't fall down the stairs in the dark.  When I pulled open the door and saw Liv standing there, soaked and shivering and just as beautiful as always, all I could do was stare at her for a second.  Then I grabbed her arm and pulled her inside, slamming the door shut behind her against the driving rain.  "Jesus, Liv, you're soaked.  Are you crazy?  Why--"  I stopped short, baffled by the intense expression on her face.  I reached out a hand towards her but stopped, confused.  "Olivia, are you okay?"

When she told me she was in love with me, I briefly wondered if I was dreaming.  She didn't give me long to think about it though.  When she kissed me, I was shocked at how warm her lips were against mine, because the rest of her was ice cold from the rain.  I needed to look at her again; I needed to know that this was for real.  Reluctantly I broke our kiss and my eyes searched every inch of her face, my fingers slipping over skin I had given up on ever touching like this again.

When she leaned her face just slightly into my touch, it broke the spell and I had to have her right that second.  I barely even noticed how wet her clothes were as I pulled them off, and I was glad I had changed into shorts and not fallen into bed in my suit like I had considered.  Neither of us had spoken since she told me she was in love with me, and Liv's moan when I entered her was startlingly loud in my quiet house.  She came surprisingly quickly, and the sharp pressure of her fingers on my arms reeled me back in from my mission.

I realized suddenly that if I kept up that pace, it would all be over way too soon, and I wasn't ready for that.  Flipping her onto her back let me re-familiarize myself to kissing her.  Her lips, her cheeks, her neck, her shoulder.  Finally, after bringing Liv to another orgasm, I finished, collapsing on top of her.   She had her face pressed against the inside of my forearm, and when her lips brushed lightly against the skin there, I was practically ready to go again.

Then I felt shiver beneath me and I pressed my hand to arm.  Her skin was still damp and cold.  "You're freezing, Liv," I said, and I got up and pulled on my shorts.  She was watching me, but hadn't moved, and she looked exhausted. 

After I got her in the shower I went back downstairs and picked up her soaking wet clothes from the floor and threw them in the dryer.  I grabbed a bottle of water and went back upstairs just in time to hear the shower shut off.  Seeing her come out of the bathroom in the clothes I had found for her was unreal, and I watched her as she walked over to me. Of all the women I've slept with or dated, Liv is the first I've let wear my clothes.  And even though they were comically big on her small frame, the sight made me feel possessive, protective, and incredibly turned on, all at once.

I offered her the bottle of water and watched her as she took a drink.  I was happy when she put the cap back on it and set it down because I wanted nothing more than to be close to her again.  I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her down into bed with me.  I wormed one arm under her so I could wrap both arms around her.  She finally felt warm.

I asked her why she hadn't just called, and when she said she didn't want me to tell her not to come, I almost laughed.   I clearly wasn't above showing up at her job and begging her to have lunch with me, there was no way I'd refuse her.

With surprise, I realized I had never responded to her confession.  I felt a stab of anxiety and when I first opened my mouth, nothing came out.  I took a breath, reminding myself that she had said it first.

"Liv?" I spoke quietly, not wanting to wake her if she was asleep already.

"Mmmm," she responded.  Not quite asleep, but not far from it.

"I'm in love with you too."  I forced the words to come out calmly, instead of tumbling out in a rush of nervousness like they threatened to.

"I know," she said simply.  She settled back against me, and moments later, her breathing was deep and even and she was asleep.  I stayed awake for awhile longer, staring at the back of her head in the dark and enjoying the feeling of having her in my arms again.  Then my fatigue from the week won out, and I was sleeping too.