Heart to Heart

A mini bonus post, to make up for yesterday's post being short.  Thanks for your patience!  See you again on Friday with a Lauren post :)
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Brody's alarm went off when it was still dark Monday morning.  I fell back asleep while he was in the shower and getting dressed, but he woke me up to say goodbye.  It was still early enough that I fell back asleep for another hour after he left.

Today was my first day seeing the client that Josh had transferred to me, and I wanted to check in with him quick before I saw her.  When I got there, though, he wasn't there.  He still wasn't there at lunch, and I hadn't seen him so I assumed he was out sick or on vacation.  Josh had introduced me to her last week but we hadn't gotten much of a chance to talk about ongoing schedules or what she was hoping for.

"So," I started, once we had gotten the pleasantries out of the way.  "You were seeing Josh weekly, right?  Were you hoping to continue that?"

"I was seeing him every other week," she reported, looking confused.

"Oh, okay," I replied.  "Sorry about that, I must have remembered what he told me incorrectly.  Would you like to stay with every other week then?"

"I'd actually really prefer every week.  I think that's part of the reason we were switching?"  Now she looked a little frustrated.  I just smiled and replied that every week would be great.

I was pretty sure that Josh had told me he was seeing her every week, but I must have heard wrong or not remembered right.  The rest of our session didn't go the best after the weird start and I was frustrated at myself.  I flipped through my notebook to see what I had written down, but I hadn't taken any notes when I was talking to Josh.

Luckily I only had one more client so the day wrapped up quickly.  I went out to dinner with Lauren afterwards, and I was relieved that she seemed like she was totally back to her normal self.  I left dinner feeling pretty positive and headed home.

I had almost forgotten Brody was gone.  I got a message from him this morning letting me know he had made it safely, but I hadn't heard from him since.  That wasn't strange, it just made it easy to forget he was gone.

I remembered when I pulled into the garage and saw Ken's car there instead of Brody's.  Ken was sitting in the living room when I got inside, watching TV.  "Hi," he greeted me.  He was friendly and polite but not overly warm.

"Hey Ken," I said, smiling.

He stood and turned the TV off.  "I'll get out of your space," he said, starting towards the stairs.

"Wait," I said.  "You don't have to hide downstairs just because I'm home."

He shrugged, looking uncomfortable.  "I just don't want to be in your way or anything," he replied.

"You don't have to hang out with me or anything," I said.  "But I feel bad that you always run away when I'm home.  If you want to stay up and at least finish watching whatever you're watching, you should."  He looked like he was considering this, and I took a deep breath and asked, as kindly as I could, "Have I done something to make you feel like you're not welcome here?"

"No!" he said right away.  "No, not at all.  I just...well, do you have a couple minutes?"

"Sure," I said, trying to keep my face neutral even though those words always made me a little nervous.  I walked over to the chair and sat down, looking at him expectantly.

"Brody might kill me for telling you this, but when he told me you guys were okay with me staying for a month, he mentioned that you're a little weird about your space."  He cringed a little as he said it, which made me laugh.  "I guess I never really knew for sure how much space that applied to, so I figured it was best to stick to my own space as much as possible."

"Oh Brody," I muttered, snorting.  "He wasn't wrong," I admitted.  "I am weird about my space.  But I am really sorry that he didn't clarify that.  I'm totally fine with you being up here.  I feel bad that you've spent the last two weeks hiding in an effort to not encroach on my space.  I've spent the last two weeks wondering what I did to make you so uncomfortable!"

Ken laughed.  "Well, I just figured between that and the whole me being a huge asshole at Thanksgiving thing, I was better off just steering clear in general.  I didn't even realize that you might feel like you did something wrong.  I just didn't want your impression of me to be the guy that was a dick to you the first time he met you, then completely disrespected your space when he foisted himself on you for a month."

"Yeah," I said, smirking, "You did have a hell of a first impression to improve on."

Ken laughed again.  "I really do feel awful about that," he said.  "I would have never guessed you'd still be around, much less about to marry my little brother.  Not that that makes what I did okay."  He chuckled quietly to himself and shook his head.  "But you are so good for him, and I'm really glad you stuck around."

"Well, I don't know about that," I said, blushing a little.

"No, seriously," he insisted.  "You've probably figured this out by now, but neither Brody nor I are good at balancing things.  We're both very 'all or nothing'--and usually it's 'all.'  For me it was drugs and alcohol.  For Brody it's been partying, women, work.  He always sucked at balancing.  Did he tell you he was on academic probation his sophomore year in college?"

"No," I replied, curious.

Ken nodded.  "He almost got kicked of school because he was too busy partying and fucking all the hot girls to go to class or do homework."  Then, like he remembered who he was talking to, he cringed.  "Sorry."

"Don't be," I said, rolling my eyes.  "I didn't know about academic probation, but I do know that Brody isn't exactly Mr Innocent.  He's told me enough about his college days that nothing you said has surprised me yet."

Ken smiled, then continued.  "Once he finally shaped up and knocked off with the partying and women, it was all work, all the time.  He did have some time that he partied all night and worked all day, and I'm not sure when he slept, but he was a real mess then and it didn't last long.  His work seriously suffered too."

I nodded.  "He used to sleep at the office more than he slept at home," I said.  "He still keeps a pillow and blanket and change of clothes there."

"That doesn't surprise me.  I bet he hasn't used them in awhile though, huh?"

"Not since I've moved in for sure.  I don't think for awhile before that either.  The last time he mentioned doing it was a bit when he first bought your dad out and came back here.  But we weren't together then, so I don't really know."

"I believe it.  I've gotten better at balancing as I get older and get a little more life experience.  Brody has gotten better at balancing since he got serious about you."

I made a face.  "That's true," I replied carefully.  "But I can't say it was because of my patience or gentle prodding.  I'll admit to more than one temper tantrum about the time he put into work."

Ken laughed.  "I believe that too.  But sometimes it takes a temper tantrum for Brody to truly understand how his actions affect others.  And I'll bet that you don't have temper tantrums about it anymore, do you?"

"Well, no," I agreed.  "I don't need to.  He makes so much more time for us.  Sometimes his work still does interrupt our plans, but it's easier to deal with now that we regularly have time together where he shuts off his phone and ignores work completely."  I felt my cheeks get hot.  "I feel like I've shared way more about our relationship with you than I should have," I said, a little embarrassed.

"Just like you weren't surprised by anything I said, I'm not surprised by anything you said," he replied.  "I know my brother, even if he'd like to believe that he changed so much when I fell off the face of the planet for a couple years.  And I know that my brother is happier and more balanced than he's been since before Heather died.  I know that I hardly even know you, but that's enough for me.  Of course, I wouldn't blame you for being wary, you don't have the best impression of me so far."

"This conversation has changed my impression of you significantly," I said.  "And I really hope you believe that I'm perfectly okay with you hanging out in the kitchen or living room or wherever.  Just not in mine and Brody's bedroom, okay?  That would be weird."

He laughed at that.  "I can agree to that."

Ken ended up staying in the living room watching TV while I read for awhile.  He went downstairs after about another half hour, saying he was heading to bed.  I went upstairs soon after, and I changed and got ready for bed, then called Brody.

He sounded tired when he answered, but insisted on talking for a couple minutes when I told him I could let him go.  "How are things at home?" he asked.  "Is Ken being weird since I'm not there?"

"No," I replied.  "Actually, he and I had a bit of a heart to heart."  I filled him in on the basics, then teasingly gave him a hard time for telling Ken I was "weird" about my space.  "So this whole time, it was your fault that he was being weird," I finished.

Brody laughed.  "Of course it was," he replied.  "Well I offered to talk to him, but you told me not to."

"Well, I'm just glad I said something," I said.  "I feel a lot better."  We chatted for a few more minutes then said goodbye.  As I got in bed, I felt like the day had turned out pretty positively in the end.