(Then) Brody

Miami

"Come on, man," Jack said, shaking his head.  "Have a little fun for once."  He was looking at a couple of scantily clad girls that were sitting by the keg.  "Which one do you like better?"

I'd been in Miami for a month, and it had been harder to break out of my "good kid" role than I'd thought it would be.  I finally had the chance to grieve for my sister, because I was no longer the glue holding the family together, but the grieving was already old.  It felt strange to be doing it now, so long afterwards.  I reasoned that I never really had a chance when it was fresh, but that just kicked up old resentments and made everything more complicated.  I wanted to move past it and enjoy my college experience, but I felt guilty about it.

I looked over the girls carefully.  One was clearly drunk, and both held plastic cups of keg beer in their hands, giggling as the drunker one sloshed some onto the unamused girl on her other side.  I sighed and said, "I guess the one in the black," indicating the less drunk of the two.  She was pretty, with long dark hair and round brown eyes.  I mean, they were both pretty, but sloppy drunk girls aren't really my style.

"Bet you the case of your choice that I can get the other one's number before you can get hers," Jack said, grinning lasciviously at me.  He was a terrible influence, but I was also tired of watching my friends go home with different girls every night while I went back to my dorm room by myself, drunk and miserable.

"You're on," I said, shaking his extended hand.  He waggled his eyebrows at me and we got up to walk over to the girls.

"Ladies," Jack said, stepping between them, a hand on each back.  The girls giggled.  Jack was seriously good looking and I had witnessed several times the effect his face and wit had on the female students here.  He introduced us both to them and I grinned at the one in black.  Kelly, I think she said her name was.  I made small talk with her for a little while while Jack worked on charming the pants off the other girl.  It didn't take long, and he was soon leading her away, throwing a wink over his shoulder at me.

Kelly looked at me expectantly.  "Maybe you could walk me back to my room," she suggested, laying a hand on my arm and smiling.

"Of course," I responded, smiling back.  "Wouldn't let a gorgeous girl walk alone."  She really was hot.  As she turned and walked towards the door, I couldn't help but admire the curve of her ass in the shorts that were barely long enough to cover it. 

She pointed us towards her dorm, and I settled an arm around her waist as we walked.  When we got to her dorm, I asked for her number.  She laughed.  "I'd rather you just came up," she said, her hand on my chest.  So I did.

Jack and I called our bet a draw, since neither of us actually ended up with a phone number.  Subsequent nights became easier.  I wondered if drugs and drinking did for Ken what sex did for me.  If so, I could start to understand his undoing.  It was simple and I didn't have to think.  In fact, I couldn't think.  That was the biggest draw.  And then after awhile, it even became fun.  I began to develop a reputation, and while it wasn't a wholesome one, it wasn't completely negative either.  Girls began to seek me out, making it all even easier.   Of course, none of the girls were girls I'd bring to meet my family, but let's be real...I wasn't planning on subjecting anyone to that trainwreck for a very long time. 

One night, I was out at a bar with a habit of serving the under-21 crowd with Jack, Gray, and Aaron, when Aaron spotted some girls he knew from a class.  We walked over to join them, and one of them, Alexa, raised her eyebrows at me.  "The infamous Brody Adler," she quipped, looking me up and down.

"Infamous?" I joked back.  "You wound me." 

She snorted, her full lips twitching into an almost-smile.  "And not even with the good grace to act ashamed of your reputation," she said haughtily.  Man, she was hot. And the fact that she wasn't throwing herself at me made me want her even more. 

I shrugged and leaned against the table next to her, my arm brushing her shoulder.  "Not really my style."

She rolled her eyes.  "So I've heard."  Even thought her disdain for me was apparent, she made no move to remedy the fact that our bodies were touching.  As the night went on, her banter slowly moved from semi-hostile to flirty, and she even let me buy her a drink.  When Jack told me they were leaving, I said I'd catch up with them outside.

I turned to Alexa.  "Can I call you?" I asked.

She laughed.  "Not a chance.  But why don't you give me your number, and if I decide I want to see if the rumors are true, I'll give you a call."  She looked blatantly south of my waistband as she said this, then let her eyes travel slowly back up to my face.  This was unprecedented, but she had me intrigued, so I gave her my number and left.

I was shocked when she called not even a week later, at 11pm on a Thursday night.

"Is this the infamous Brody Adler, or did he give me a fake number?" came the voice on the other end when I picked up.  I recognized her voice right away.

"Alexa, I'm surprised you called," I replied.

"Well, that makes two of us, except I'm surprised you recognized my voice and remembered my name," she tossed back.  "Can I come over?"  Right to the chase.  I told her she could, and she said she'd be there in a half hour.  I jumped in the shower and kicked some dirty dishes under my bed.  I was glad I wasn't too messy.

She looked around my room.  "A single, how convenient," she said with a smirk. 

"Believe it not, I didn't get a single for the sole purpose of hooking up," I replied.  She nodded like she didn't quite believe it but wasn't going to waste her energy arguing.  She dropped her purse on my desk chair and sat on the edge of my bed.  I leaned against the wall near the door and watched her.  Her eyes drifted around the room, then stopped at me.

"You're not nervous, are you?" she said, looking a little surprised.

"You don't get a reputation like mine if you get nervous when a hot girl is in your room in the middle of the night," I said arrogantly.  Truthfully though, I was nervous and I had no idea why, but hell if I was going to tell her that.

She cocked an eyebrow at me and smirked again.  "Well maybe you should come sit by me.  I didn't come here to talk about the weather or enjoy the view from a different dorm room."

I walked slowly over to her, letting my eyes slide up and down her body as I went.  "Then what did you come here for?" I asked, sitting next to her.  In response, she pushed me back on the bed and kissed me.

Alexa and I saw each several more times over the next few weeks.  Always at night, always in my room, and she always left right after.  One night, I asked her to stay.  She sat up and shook her head.  "Brody, you're a great guy to fuck, but not really a great guy to spend the night with," she said dismissively.  "Next you'll be asking me out on a date."  She got up and pulled her clothes back on.

I sat up too.  Her hand was on the doorknob when I said, "And what if I did ask you out on a date?"  She turned in surprise.  She didn't say anything for several long seconds.  Then she said, "I think you should stick with what you're good at," and she was gone.  I laid back and pondered her words.  Was sex really all I was good for at this point?

I was surprised when she called again a few nights later.  She stayed for about 15 minutes after we were finished, which was about 14 minutes longer than usual.  It gave me hope.  I didn't ask her to stay, but I thought that eventually she might change her mind.   She kept coming, once or twice a week, every week for months.  One night, it began pouring while she was there, and she ended up spending the night.  I was not surprised to find her gone in the morning, though. 

Finally, six months into hooking up, I did ask her out on a date.  She had just gotten there and was sitting on my bed.  I sat in the chair and asked her.  She laughed.  "I thought I told you to stick to what you're good at," she said, standing and walking over to me.  She tugged at my belt and smiled coyly.  "Come on, I don't have all night.  Can you shut up and get naked?"  She was shocked when I asked her to leave.

Alexa didn't call me again, and when we'd run into each other out, she was chilly towards me.  I took a brief hiatus from hooking up, but was quickly tempted by eager girls that seemed happy I was available again.  Not that I had ever been unavailable, apparently.  But I hadn't hooked up with another girl since before the first time Alexa had called me.

In the end, it was easier to just fall back into casual sex.  Putting in the effort to win Alexa over had been hard work, and I had failed, so why bother again?  I made it through the rest of my college days without ever asking another girl out, and that was fine with me.

Confessions

It started raining Friday afternoon while I was finishing up my paperwork.  I stared out my window into the cold, gray precipitation.  I was still trying to decide what to do about James.  I was pretty sure that I just needed to end things with him, but I was still second-guessing myself.  Brody had called me again on Thursday night, and then this morning as well.   I was starting to find the regular calls comforting, even though I declined them all.

The rain was coming down even harder as I drove home.  I showered and dried my hair and was surveying my closet with a knot in my stomach when my phone rang.  It was James.

"Olivia, hey.  I'm stuck at work.  I had a crisis come up and I have to take care of it.  It'll probably take me several hours, so unfortunately I have to cancel tonight.  I'm really sorry."  His voice was apologetic and sincere. 

The knot in my stomach loosened a little.  I could delay my decision even more.  "That's okay," I answered.  "I mean, it sucks, but I understand."

"Thanks," he said warmly.  "I'll call you if I get done sooner than I think I will, okay?"  I agreed and we hung up.  I pulled on yoga pants and a t-shirt and grabbed my Kindle.  I curled up in bed and read until I fell asleep, avoiding the one thing I should have been figuring out.

I was startled awake by my phone ringing.  I was hopeful as I picked it up.  When I saw it was James, I felt let down.  With some surprise, I realized I was disappointed it wasn't Brody.  I debated not answering, but I finally knew what I had to do.

"Hey," James said.  "I know it's late, but I'm finally done.  I'm near your neighborhood so I thought I'd call to see if you were still awake.  Since you are, can I swing by?"

"No," I said simply.  "I'm sorry."

"Busy?" he teased, with a laugh.

"No.  But you're wonderful, and you deserve better than a girl that's in love with someone else."

"I deserve..." he trailed off, confused, but with a slight edge to his voice.  "What?"

"I'm sorry," I said again.

"Liv--"

"Goodnight, James."  I hung up.  I waited for a minute to make sure he wouldn't call back.  He didn't. 

I looked at the clock.  12:21am.  I stood up, grabbed my purse, and left.  I backed my car out of my garage into the driving rain.  I was halfway to Brody's house before I even became fully aware of what I was doing.  I hoped he was home.  What if he wasn't?  What if there were other people there?  But by this point, it was too late to go back.  I pulled into his driveway at 12:47, and it was raining so hard I could hardly see the house.  Taking a deep breath, I sprinted from my car to his front door.

I stood on the front step in the cold rain and pushed the doorbell.  I waited, starting to shiver.  I was about to give up and go back to my car when I saw a light go on.  A second later, Brody opened the door, hair tousled and wearing a pair of basketball shorts and nothing else.  He gaped at me for a second before pulling me inside.  "Jesus, Liv, you're soaked.  Are you crazy?  Why--"  He stopped suddenly, looking at me carefully.   He reached out as if to touch me, but stopped short, his hand wavering in mid-air for a second before dropping back to his side.  "Olivia...are you okay?"

"Actually, I've never been better," I said, taking a step towards him.  We were now just inches apart.  He didn't move, and I slipped my arms around his neck.  "I'm in love with you," I said quietly, my eyes locked with his.  Surprise flashed on his face, but I didn't give him a chance to respond.  I pulled his head down to mine and kissed him. 

He kissed me back for several seconds before pulling away.  He studied my face for a long moment, tenderly stroking my cheek, then my jaw.  But that was the end of the tenderness.  He yanked my soaked shirt over my head and rolled my yoga pants down.  After pushing his shorts off, he grabbed me by the back of the legs and lifted me out of the wet puddle of pants at my feet.  He carried me over to the couch, where he sat with me on his lap.  He kissed me hard, reaching behind my back to unhook my bra.  He pulled it off roughly while nipping aggressively at my earlobe.  Brody repositioned me on his lap and pulled me down onto him.  I moaned as he thrust hard into me, holding my hips still with his hands.  It seemed like less than a minute until I cried out and shuddered, digging my nails into his arms.

He flipped me onto my back, and suddenly his urgency was gone.  He paused, kissing me softly and pushing my tangled, dripping hair out of my face.  He moved slowly, kissing my lips, my cheeks, my neck, my shoulder.  He watched my face, no longer in a hurry to finish, as though he was scared that when we were done I'd leave and never look back.  I reached up, burying my fingers in his hair.  I pulled his face back to mine and kissed him hard, moving my hips to match his movements.  He slid a hand between us, pressing his thumb against me.  I gasped and came again, arching my back and pressing my face against his arm.  He followed quickly, groaning and collapsing on top of me, breathing hard.

I began to shiver again, and he snapped out of his daze, feeling my cold, clammy skin.  "You're freezing, Liv," he said, the first words either of us had spoken since my confession.  He stood up and quickly pulled on his shorts.  He picked me up and carried me towards the stairs.  I laid my wet head against his chest and shivered, too drained and cold to do much else.  He carried me through his room to the bathroom and turned on the shower.  Grabbing a towel out of the small closet, he said, "I'll hang this here for you and try to find you something to wear."  He hung the towel on the rack and stepped out of the bathroom.

Steam was already starting to collect as I stepped into the shower.  I shuddered as the hot water hit my cold body, but quickly relaxed into the spray.  I rinsed my hair and let the water beat down onto my neck.  I stayed there for several minutes before turning off the water and reaching for the towel.  I wrapped it around myself and stepped out of the shower.  Brody appeared in the doorway with clothes in his hand.  "I found the smallest stuff I could, but I'm sure it's still too big," he said, holding out a t-shirt, sweatshirt, and shorts to me.  As he walked out of the bathroom, he said over his shoulder, "There should be a new toothbrush in the top right drawer if you want."

I dried off and dressed.  Everything was huge on me, but it was dry and warm and smelled like him.  I found a toothbrush and his comb in the drawer and brushed my teeth and pulled the comb quickly through my disastrously tangled hair before twisting it up into a bun on top of my head.  I hung the towel carefully on the rack to dry and regarded myself in the mirror.  Satisfied, I turned off the light and walked out into Brody's bedroom.

He had a light on next to his bed, and he was leaning against the headboard, watching me.  He held out a bottle of water when I was close enough.  I took it gratefully and drank.  After I put the cap back on and set it back down, he reached out to me and caught me around the waist.  He pulled me down into bed next to him, and pulled the blankets up.  I settled against him, my back against his chest, as he wrapped his arms around me.  I was finally warm.

"That was so dumb," he said gently.  "Why didn't you just call me?"

"I didn't want you to tell me not to come," I said, my voice muffled by the pillow.

"I would never tell you that," he responded quietly.  He tightened his arms around me. 

I was almost asleep when he spoke again, softly.  "Liv?"

"Mmmm," I managed, drunk with fatigue.

"I'm in love with you too."

"I know," I murmured back, before drifting into sleep.

Busted

Oh how I wish I could have given this to you guys sooner as a bonus. Unfortunately I am totally out of extra posts until Thanksgiving, haha. But here it is a few hours earlier than usual at least!

ETA: actually, after a random inspiration, I lied. Consider this a bonus and come back in the morning (Wednesday at 6am CST) for the next post!
__________________________

I didn't sleep well Monday night.  Jordan and Savannah took turns haunting my dreams, and I woke up drenched in cold sweat twice before I just got out of bed around 4 in the morning.  Tuesday night was similar, but I did get a little more sleep.

I was working on paperwork in my office on Wednesday when Leigh, the person who runs our desk and the business office, popped her head in.  "Someone's here for you," she said.

"I'm not expecting a client," I said, confused.

"He's not a client," she said with a small smile.  "And he's really cute."  Oh shit.  Which one?  I followed her up front and saw Brody leaning against the wall in the corner.  I had avoided two calls from him yesterday.  Looks like I couldn't avoid this.  I squared my shoulders and walked over.

"Liv," he said quietly, almost desperately.  "Please have lunch with me."  His eyes pleaded with me.  I stalled, trying to think of a good reason to decline.  I just needed some space from both him and James. When nothing came to me, I nodded.

"I have 50 minutes," I said, looking up at the clock on the wall.  I told Leigh I was taking my lunch and she smiled conspiratorially and told me to have fun.

We walked to the coffee shop across the street where we'd gone for lunch the first time, months ago.  I ordered a sandwich and tea and we sat.  "Lauren told you?" I asked, finally.

"She did," he said with a slight edge to his voice, "but I wish you would have told me."

"Don't," I responded.  "It doesn't change anything."  His face didn't change, but I saw the tick of his jaw tightening.

"Liv, come on.  It changes everything.  Are you going to let her do this?"  His voice was steady, but I could see his pulse in his neck.

"Me?  Am I going to let her?  As far as I'm concerned, you already let her do this." My voice was strained and I gripped the edges of my chair to keep my arms from shaking. This wasn't how I wanted this conversation to go, but it was so much easier to just be mad at him than to admit to him that I was confused and feeling pressured.

"Why are you pushing me away so hard?" Brody shot back.  "That kiss on Saturday felt right.  And I know you thought so too, or you wouldn't have left in such a hurry, and you wouldn't be acting like this now."

"Stop," I said, struggling to keep my voice at a volume appropriate for public.  "I'm not doing this right now.  I can't.  If you want to talk about Savannah and what she did, then let's do that.  But I can't talk about us right now." I looked away, swallowing hard around the lump in my throat.

He looked like he wanted to continue, but he relented.  He leaned back in his chair.

"What are you going to do?" I asked, once I had sucked in enough air to steady my voice.  "About Savannah, I mean."

"Lauren is taking care of her," he replied.  He didn't say anything else about it, and I didn't push it.  I just nodded and took a bite of my sandwich.  I swallowed hard and pushed it away.  I wasn't hungry anymore.

"I need to go back," I said.  We walked silently back to my office.  Outside the building, I turned to him.  "Why did you come here today?" I asked.

"I came to show you that I meant it when I said I would jump through hoops for you," he said grimly.  He leaned down and let his lips brush gently against my cheek before he walked away, leaving me standing in the middle of the sidewalk staring after him, my cheek on fire. 

On Thursday, Lauren texted me mid-morning.  "I know you're going to try to skip happy hour, but you have to come.  Brody won't be there," she wrote.  I groaned, cursing her for knowing me too well.  I had been planning to go straight home and ignore calls and texts.  I was getting good at that.  Brody had tried calling me again Wednesday after work, and I sent it straight to voicemail. 

I ended up going to happy hour.  I almost turned around and walked right back out when I saw Savannah.  Lauren saw me though, and dashed over to me before I could.  My pulse was throbbing in my ears and I was itching to put my fist through Savannah's pretty face. 

"Don't worry," Lauren said soothingly.  "I have a plan."  I gave her a funny look, but she just led me over to the table.  We sat down and Savannah skillfully avoided my glare.

15 minutes later, Lauren began talking loudly to Savannah.  "So Savannah, you must be so excited about Nate!" she exclaimed.

"Nate?" Savannah asked, but the blood was draining from her face.

"Yeah, Nate Pearson.  I know you must be happy that Brody is giving him a chance."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Savannah snapped.

"That's funny," Lauren said sweetly, "since I know you must feel awful that he got fired.  He was really doing well for himself working for Mr. Adler in Miami.  I know you didn't mean to get him in trouble.  How do you know him?"

Savannah was completely white by this point.  Everyone at our table was staring at Lauren or Savannah.  She didn't say anything.

"Anyways," Lauren barreled on, "I think it's just great that Brody is hiring him to work at his company.  Don't you?"

"He is?" Savannah asked, panic in her voice.  I watched as face changed from white to pink.

"So you do know who I'm talking about!" Lauren said with a sweet smile.  "I would hope so, since you're the reason he got fired."

"Hey, can you back up and tell the class what's going on?" Alex interrupted.

"I'd love to," Lauren said, her face changing from sweet to steely.  Savannah looked like she was hoping the ground would open up and swallow her.  "Remember how Brody had to go down to Miami because some upper management level person got fired for sending inappropriate emails?"  Alex nodded.  "Well, he sent those emails because Savannah tracked him down and manipulated him into it.  She wanted him to get fired so Brody would have to go to Miami."  She stopped and looked around, triumphant.  Savannah was gaping at her, her face red as a tomato.  Kendra was looking from Lauren to Savannah to me.

"That is a lie!" Savannah exclaimed.

"Would you like to see the texts?" Lauren asked.  She turned to me.  Allie had forwarded the texts to me. 

"Texts?" Savannah sputtered, before I could pull my phone out.  And then it dawned on her which texts Lauren meant.  "That bitch," she muttered.

"You are a seriously crazy person," Alex declared.  "You're lucky Olivia hasn't knocked you out."  At that, all the eyes at the table turned to me.

"The thought had crossed my mind," I said, as nonchalantly as possible.

Savannah looked around.  "Whatever."  Then she looked straight at Lauren.  "Should I say hi to Quinn for you?"

Lauren laughed hard.  "Part of your big plan, huh?  I don't care about him.  Go say whatever you want to him.  Just go."

Savannah looked around one more time, then stood up and strode out.  No flouncing this time.

An Unexpected Phone Call

I had just gotten home from work on Monday when my phone rang.  I looked at it, ready to ignore Brody or James, but the number wasn't one of my contacts.  I answered tentatively.  "Hello?"

"Olivia?  Hi.  This is Allie," came the voice on the other end of the call.

"Allie...?" I asked, confused.

"Savannah's friend.  We met at the cabin."

"Oh," I replied.  "Um, hi.  What...?" I trailed off, bewildered.

"I have something I need to tell you.  Can I come over?  Or can we meet somewhere?" she asked.  I considered this.  I didn't know Allie at all.  She seemed nice, but she was also friends with Savannah, which makes her sketchy by association.  I had no reason to trust her.

"I don't think that's a good idea.  Can't you just tell me now on the phone?" I replied.

"I could, but what I have to say might be a little hard to believe.  If we meet in person, I can show you some things that might help you understand a little better," she said back.  "Please.  I wouldn't be asking you to do this if I didn't feel really strongly about it.  I know you barely know me, and I know you hate Savannah, but this is really important.  You can pick the place."

I sighed, and named a coffee shop about a half mile from my house.  She said she'd be there in 20 minutes, and I changed and put shoes on.  I left after 20 minutes, and quickly made it to the coffee shop.  She was already there, sitting at a table in the middle of the shop.  I looked around as I walked in, making sure Savannah wasn't there, or armed assassins, or anything else out of my overactive imagination.

I sat down silently and looked at her.  She looked nervous.  She smiled tightly at me, but I didn't smile back.  "Well?" I asked, hoping she'd get on with it.

She took a deep breath and started.  "What did Brody tell you when he left for Miami?" she asked.

"I thought this was about you telling me things, not me telling you things," I snapped back.

"Please just humor me," she said with a wry smile.

I huffed and then said, "He told me that some manager had gotten fired for using their email for inappropriate messages and pictures and his dad needed him to help find the replacement and train him."

Allie grimaced.  I raised an eyebrow, now more intrigued than irritated.  "What?" I asked.

"The person that the manager was emailing was Savannah," she said quietly.

"What?  How does Savannah know him?" I asked, not understanding what she was trying to tell me. 

"She doesn't," Allie said, patiently.  When I narrowed my eyes at her, she quickly amended, "Or at least, she didn't.  I guess now she probably knows him way better than she ever could have imagined."

I was getting impatient and irritated again.  I just wanted to know what the hell was going on, and I wasn't putting the pieces together in my head.  Luckily, Allie read it on my face, and explained.  "Apparently, back when Brody and Savannah were....a thing, something similar had happened.  Someone got fired, and Brody's dad dragged him back down there to fix it.  While he was there, he did a lot of, um, partying, and the evidence ended up on Facebook and Instagram and all over the internet."

She paused, and the wheels were finally turning in my head.  "So, are you saying that she purposely sought out this guy, and got him to send her inappropriate emails, hoping he would get fired?  So that Brody would have to go down there to fix it, and would hopefully do something stupid?"  Allie nodded miserably.

"It took awhile to hook him in, but she found him on a dating site, and contacted him through it.  And then," she continued, "Brody didn't do anything stupid, at least not publicly--" I glared at her.  "Sorry. He didn't do anything stupid, but his dad wanted to keep him, and well, you know the rest.  It worked out even better than she could have possibly planned."  With that, she clicked on her phone display and tapped the screen a few times.  She handed it to me, showing me texts that Savannah had sent her.  Sure enough, the texts supported her story, and Savannah seemed downright gleeful at the way things had worked out.

I handed the phone back, hands shaking.  Allie saw and quickly said, "Do you want some water?"  I shrugged, and she got up.  She came back with a glass of ice water and pushed it at me.  I wrapped my hands around it to still them, but didn't take a drink.  I was quiet for a long time, processing the information I had just been given.  Finally, I looked up at Allie.

"Why are you telling me this?  And why now?"

She covered her face with her hands.  "I should have told you sooner," she said, her voice muffled.  She moved her hands and looked at me.  "I'm sorry.  I should have.  I wish I had.  I've been thinking about doing it for a long time.  I don't have a good reason for waiting, but I'm telling you now because you should know."

I regarded her carefully.  "I don't blame you for not telling me sooner," I said finally.  "You're Savannah's friend, and your loyalty should lie with her.  I do appreciate you telling me now.  But if you don't mind, I'm going to go now."  She nodded, and I got up and left.

I drove straight to Lauren's house, calling her on the way to tell her I was coming.  When I got there, I told her everything.  She sat silently, stunned.  Finally she spoke.  "I knew Savannah was crazy, but I didn't think she'd seriously do anything to interfere with your relationship," she said slowly.  "I thought maybe she'd try to flirt with Brody in front of you, or spread rumors, or something like that.  I can't believe she actually got someone FIRED in hopes that Brody would fuck up in Miami.  That's...brilliant."  I glared at her.  "In a horribly awful, manipulative, way out of control way, obviously, don't look at me like that," she said hurriedly.

I sighed and massaged my neck.  "But, now what?" I asked.

"Well, you're going to tell him, right?"

"What would it change?" I asked softly.  "I mean, regardless of what she did, he went.  It was probably only a matter of time before his dad made the same offer anyway."

Lauren gaped at me.  "But...she did this.  He was a pawn."

"He let himself be a pawn.  I don't want to talk to him about it.  It won't change what happened."

Lauren stared at me, stunned.  "Well," she said finally, "I'm telling him.  He deserves to know what a terrible human being she is."

"Do whatever you want," I shot back.  "It still won't change anything.  You're right, he does deserve to know.  He deserves to know that he got played and fucked things up because of her."

Lauren hugged me suddenly, catching me completely off guard.  I hadn't realized there were hot, angry tears running down my face until that moment, and I sagged against her.  "It's okay, Liv," she said to me.  "Let me deal with it.  I'll tell him.  And then I'll make sure everyone knows how wretched she really is."

(Then) Brody

Seattle

Somewhere in the house a door slammed, waking me up abruptly.  I rolled over and squinted at the clock.  4:37am.  I sighed and shut my eyes, hoping to fall back asleep quickly.

I was almost asleep when my bedroom door flew open.  Standing in the doorway, silhouetted by the hall light, was my older brother Ken.   "Dude," I said, "I have to be up for school in two hours.  Go away."  He ignored me, and stumbled in.  On the way, he almost sent my lamp flying.  Ken sat down heavily on my bed.  I recoiled from the stench of stale beer and cigarettes.  "Come on, man," I tried again.  "You smell like a bar, it's 4:30 in the morning, and I have school.  Please."

"Why don't you ever want to hang out anymore?" he slurred.

"Because you only seem to want to hang out at 4 in the morning after you've put away a case of beer," I snapped back.  I yawned.  "Seriously, dude.  If you want to hang out, be home tonight when I get home after track practice.  We can hang out then.  I miss you.  But for right now, I really need to sleep."

Instead of leaving, Ken laid down on the edge of the bed.  "Seriously?" I muttered.  I shook him, but he just groaned and pushed my hand away.  "Fucking hell, man."  I climbed over him, shoved him into the middle of the bed, grabbed my pillow and a blanket and went down to the couch.  I flopped on the couch and pulled the blanket over my head.  What a disaster.

I woke up barely an hour later to my little sister Jen screeching about the rain from the hallway.  I rolled off the couch, grabbed my pillow and blanket, and walked back to my room.  On the way I nudged her in the back and said, "We live in Seattle, dingo.  It rains every day."  She screeched at my back as I walked past.

Ken was nowhere to be seen.  He must have woken up at some point and gone to his own room.  I yawned as I dumped my stuff on my bed and walked into my bathroom.  Hopefully a shower would wake me up.

As I stood under the hot water, I thought about the disaster that had become my family since Heather's death.  I had thought things would slowly return to normal, but it was almost 18 months later at this point, and things were only getting worse.  Ken was out almost every night, boozing and smoking and probably doing drugs.  When he was drunk, he was being an asshole.  Jen was even screechier than she used to be, though maybe that's just what 15 is like.  Mom held it together on the outside, but I'd heard her crying when she thought we weren't paying attention.  Dad was...well, he was being Dad.  Philandering, controlling, and overpowering. When he wasn't gone playing football. Actually, even when he was.  Always his M.O.  At least one thing was constant.

And me?  Well, I was doing everything I could to get out and stay out.  School, track, working at the local radio station doing their bitch work.  I tried not to think about what it would be like for my mom when I left in August for school in Miami, but I was going crazy here.  I felt like I was walking on eggshells all the time.  I was doing well in school and track, and behaving myself because mom had enough problems without worrying about what I was doing, but being the good kid was starting to become suffocating.  I wanted to be able to do what I wanted without worrying that it would make my mom cry quietly in her room by herself.

I had been sort of dating Kaylee Connors for awhile too, except then we got to that point where she wanted to come over for dinner or something to meet my family, and I just couldn't do it.  I don't blame her for being mad or breaking up with me.  I probably won't be dating for awhile.  I just want things to settle down here, but I don't think it's going to happen.

The water started to turn tepid, and I suddenly realized I had been in the shower for a really long time.  I jumped out, dried off, and got dressed.  I pulled a comb through my hair and brushed my teeth and ran down the stairs.  As I grabbed my backpack, I heard my mom from the kitchen.  "I don't care how late you are, young man, you will eat breakfast!"  I rolled my eyes and jogged to the kitchen.  My mom held out a piece of toast on a paper plate and a banana.

I kissed her on the cheek as I grabbed it.  "Thanks, ma!" I called as I made for the door.

I pulled up to school 3 minutes before the final bell.  There was nowhere to park in the student lot.  I briefly considered taking a chance on the staff lot, but thought better of it and drove out to park on the street.  I skidded into first period 3 minutes after the bell.

"Mr. Adler, it's so nice of you to join us," my history teacher said sarcastically. "And just in time to turn in yesterday's assignment."  Mr. Johnson stood a foot away from my desk as I rifled through the contents of my backpack, not seeing my assignment.  Shit.  My history stuff was laying on my desk, where I had finished it the night before.  I cursed myself for not putting it right back in my backpack.

I gave Mr. Johnson my most charming smile.  The girl next to me giggled.  "I seem to have forgotten it at home," I said.  "I'm really sorry."

"The only one who's going to be sorry is you," Mr. Johnson said with a shrug, walking away.  The girl next to me giggled again, but looked away quickly when I turned my smile on her.

After class, as I was gathering up my notebook and pen, Mr. Johnson called out to me from the front of the room.  "A word before you go, Mr. Adler?"  I sighed and walked slowly up to his desk.

When the last  of the stragglers had filtered out, I started talking.  "Look, Mr. Johnson, I know that I've been a little scattered lately, but--"

He cut me off.  "Save it, Adler.  I just want you to know that I know this is all out of character for you.  If something is going on, whether it be in another class, girl stuff, track stuff, at home, whatever, if you need someone to talk to, I'll take one for the team."  I studied his face for a second.  He looked genuinely concerned.  I nodded.

"Thank you, Mr. Johnson.  I appreciate that.  Can I go?"

"You can.  Get that assignment on my desk by the end of the day and I'll forget you didn't have it with you for class."  With that, he turned to erase the board.  I jogged to my next class, not wanting to be late.  At lunch, I signed myself out (the best thing about being 18 during your senior year) and drove home.

I didn't have much time, and I barely saw my mom sitting on the couch as I flew into the house.  "What--" she started, but I was already up the stairs.  On my way down, I stopped.

"Forgot my history homework," I explained.  I noticed her red eyes and wet cheeks, and saw a corner of a photo album sticking out from under a pillow.  I sat down and hugged her hard.  "I love you, mom," I said, feeling guilty for not saying it more, for not paying more attention.

"Oh, sweetie," she said, sniffling a little.  "I love you too.  Thank you."

"For what?" I asked, baffled.  Did my mom just thank me for loving her?  Or saying I loved her?

"For being you," she said simply.  "Now get back to school!"

Now I knew I had to keep up my good kid routine for a few more months. 

So Much For Normal

This is only because of that whole hitting 100,000 views thing.  And because someone asked for it.  I'm easy, what can I say?  
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By the time I rang Kendra and Christian's doorbell, I was far more awake.  I handed over the bottle of wine I had brought when Kendra opened the door.  Lauren, Kinsley, and Alex were already there.  "Is Savannah coming?" I hissed to Lauren as I sat down.  She shrugged.  A few minutes later the doorbell rang again and Brody came in.  I tried to ignore the flip flopping of my stomach.

We had made it through two and a half rounds and weren't even tiring of the game when my phone rang.  I looked at the display and saw it was my friend Amy from home.  It was her birthday and I had called her and left a message earlier.  It would be almost 1am there, so it was sure to be an entertaining call.

I stepped out onto the deck and took the call.  "Happy birthday Amy!" I answered.

"Livvers!!" she screeched, using my most hated nickname.  But since she was Amy and it was her birthday, she got a pass.  She was with 90% of my friends from home and I talked to a bunch of them.  I hung up the phone 15 minutes later feeling homesick for the first time since moving out here.  I leaned against the railing of the deck, breathing in the cool night air.

I jumped when the glass door behind me slid open, and turned to see Brody stepping out onto the deck.  He slid the door closed firmly and walked over.  "Everything okay?" he asked when he saw my face, leaning against the railing next to me.

I nodded.  "It was a friend from home.  It's her birthday and she was with a lot of my friends and hearing how much fun they were having just made me really miss everyone."  Brody slipped a comforting arm around my back and pulled me against his side.  I slowly let myself relax against him as he rubbed my arm.  After several minutes, he turned me towards him and touched his lips softly to mine.

When I didn't pull away or protest, he kissed me again, this time for real.  The kiss was tender and electric and perfect.  I kissed him back for several seconds without thinking, until it suddenly dawned on me that just this morning I was having sex with someone else.  Someone that I also had feelings for.  I pulled back and stared at him for a second.

"Brody, I..." I started.  "I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have... I can't do this.  I'm sorry."  I spun and went quickly back inside.  A muttered curse and the sharp crack of Brody's fist coming down hard on the railing followed me in.  I grabbed my purse and hastily thanked Christian and Kendra for having us and then told them I had to go.  Lauren caught up to me just outside the door.

"Hey, where are you going?  Are you okay?"  She looked worried.

"I'm fine.  I just did something stupid and I just need to go home," I spat back, continuing down the driveway to my car.  "I'll call you tomorrow." 

I was about to swing my car door shut when someone caught it.  I jumped and looked up.  It was Alex.  "What are you doing, Liv?" he asked quietly, resting an arm over the top of the door.  I knew he didn't mean right now.

"I don't know," I said, miserably.

"Well figure it out, because you're making him crazy."  He carefully shut my car door and walked away without waiting for me to respond.

I sped home, and when I got there I buried myself under the blankets of my bed without bothering to change or wash off my makeup.  What the hell just happened?  Why had it felt so right?  I had no idea what to do.


On Sunday morning, my legs were so sore I barely made it from my bed to the couch.  I was laying there under a blanket, watching Real Housewives, when the doorbell rang.  I ignored it.  A minute later, my phone pinged.  The text was from Lauren and simply said, "Let me in."  I sighed and dragged myself to the door.  I unlocked it and turned the knob before walking back to the couch.  Lauren pushed it the rest of the way open and stalked in.

"Someone better have died," she declared, looking me over with disdain.

"Nope," I said back flatly.  She walked over to the couch and shoved my feet off so she could sit down.  She tried a different approach.

"Liv?  What's going on?  You ran out so fast, and Brody came back in looking like someone kicked his puppy..."

I sighed again.  "He kissed me.  I kissed him back.  It felt like it was supposed to, until I remembered that I'm dating someone else.  So, that's what happened."

Lauren looked thoughtfully at the wall above the TV.  "Are you still dating James because you like him and you want to, or are you still dating James to teach Brody a lesson?" she asked bluntly.

I blinked in surprise.  "That is not a fair question at all," I protested.  "You know I didn't get into this to teach Brody a lesson.  If that had been my goal, I'd have agreed to go out with James the first time he asked.  I'm dating James because I felt a connection with him, and because I decided not to put my life on hold for someone that didn't--and shouldn't have--put his life on hold for me.  And that's what you told me to do!"

"But now Brody is back, and I think you have a lot to do with that.  So now what?"

"Lauren, if I knew the answer to that, we wouldn't be having this conversation," I said with irritation.  "I like James.  I'm not just using him for some nefarious, vindictive purpose.  I just happen to also have feelings for someone else too."

"But look at you!  You're miserable, Brody's miserable, and James just doesn't know any better," Lauren pointed out.

"Actually, he knows more than you think," I replied.  Then I filled her in on what he had said to me at Kinsley's birthday party, about Brody being in love with me, and James not caring because I was there with him.  "What does that even mean?" I asked, when I had finished.

"Well, either that he likes you enough that he doesn't even care that you might be in love with someone else, or he's not taking your fledgling relationship too seriously yet, which is logical and probably a good thing."

"Yeah, the second one is probably more likely," I agreed.

She nodded, then said, "And you should probably figure out what you want before he moves into taking things seriously."  I knew she was right.  I put my head in my hands, sighing deeply.  "Liv?" Lauren said after a minute.  I looked up.  "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think you need to stop thinking so much and just feel."

I grimaced at her.  "Thanks, Dr. Phil," I said.  

"Gross!" she exclaimed.  "Don't even.  But, just for the record, from where I'm standing, it looks like Brody is winning."

She stayed for a few hours.  James and Brody both called while she was still there, and I silenced the ringer both times, not taking either call.  Lauren was right, I needed to figure out what I wanted.

I called James back later that evening and spoke to him briefly--just long enough to find out we both had crazy busy weeks.  That relieved some of my guilt at my plan to take some time for myself this week.  We made plans for Friday, and I decided that I had to figure out what it was I wanted by then.

Guess Who's Back?

On Thursday, I looked forward to happy hour for the first time in awhile.  I felt like it wouldn't be awkward and I could enjoy myself.  I was actually getting used to my constantly busy work schedule too. 

I spotted Lauren right away.  I sat down next to her and Kinsley, and a few minutes later, Brody came back from the bar and sat in the empty chair across from me.  He smiled and turned to Alex.  I was talking to Lauren when she suddenly interrupted with, "shit!"  I looked at her curiously.  "Savannah," she said, motioning with her head.

I turned, and sure enough, Savannah was flouncing over.  She was always flouncing.  She squealed and hugged Brody, who was trying to keep the irritation off his face.  She sat next to him and launched into conversation with him about Miami.  Lauren made a face at me.  Well, there goes my shot at a non-awkward happy hour.  And my dreams of never having to deal with Savannah again.

I went up to the bar for a drink, and in a familiar gesture, Brody appeared next to me, sliding one arm around my waist while handing the bartender money for my drink.  I stiffened a little and he took a half step back, but didn't take his hand off my waist.  I turned and looked at him questioningly. 

"Normal, right?" he asked with a cocky smirk. Well, his attitude was certainly back to normal.

"Not quite what I had in mind," I said, but I didn't move, and neither did he. Finally, his smirk turned into a genuine smile and he shifted, keeping just the lightest pressure on my lower back with his hand.

"So, catch me up then," he said.  "How is work?  Did Lynn come visit?"

"Work is...the same.  They hired two, but then another one quit, so I'm back to working crazy hours.  I'm almost starting to get used to it," I said.  "But a lot of my coworkers are really unhappy so it's tense around the office.  I need to get out of there when my 6 months are up."

"That sucks.  People's attitudes can really make or break a place," he said sympathetically.  "And Lynn?"

"Lynn came.  It was awesome.  Kinsley loved her, and she loved Kinsley.  Obviously Lauren knows her already.  We had a blast."  As I talked, I thought again about how Brody should have been there to meet her.  Pushing this thought out of my head, I spoke quickly as we started back to the table, "So, you're back, and your company is really yours, so now what?"

"Now we grow," he responded matter-of-factly.  "Our marketing person was technically one of my dad's employees, so he tried to pull him when I bought out, but the guy didn't want to go to Miami so he quit.  I've got my attorneys working on getting him out of his non-compete so he can stay with me, which is what he and I both want.  For now, I'll be starting interviews to build him a new team so we can pull in more clients.  I want to open more offices at some point, too."  His face lit up as he talked, and it was obvious he was really excited about his plans for the company and being in charge of it on his own. 

"Sounds like a lot of work, but it seems like you've put a lot of thought into it," I said.

"I've been thinking about it for a long time," he confessed.  "I just didn't think I'd be able to buy him out so soon.  So it's pretty much what I've always been working toward."  By this point, we had reached the table and sat down together.  Lauren and Kinsley were giving me puzzled looks, but I ignored them and focused on our conversation.  We talked for several more minutes until Alex called to Brody from the other end of the table.  Brody nodded at him and then looked back at me apologetically.

"I'm going to go see what he wants," he said.  "But it was nice to catch up."

"It was," I agreed.  "This is the normal I had in mind."  He grinned and stood up.  I moved back over by Lauren and Kinsley. 

"What was that about?"  Kinsley asked, looking at me curiously.

I shrugged.  "We were catching up.  We're working on being normal."

"Normal," Lauren repeated dubiously.

"Isn't 'normal' for guys, like, tearing off each others' clothes constantly?" Kinsley asked.  I sighed.  This wasn't going anywhere.  "Can you be normal?" she followed up.

"We're going to try," I said firmly.  But I was wondering the same thing.


On Friday, James and I decided to try for an actual date again.   Dinner went well, and we joked that it went so well that someone was bound to end up with food poisoning.  As we were sitting in a dark corner booth at a bar around the corner from the restaurant, James said, "So, I'm on this recreational kickball team, and we have a really big game in the morning.  We're a co-ed team, and we have to have a certain number of women or else we have to forfeit, and we're one short for tomorrow.  Don't suppose you'd want to play?"

"I love kickball!" I said excitedly.  "I'll definitely play."

"Does that mean you're good?  Because if you can actually contribute and not just be a body to fill a roster spot, that's even better."

"Well, it's been awhile since I've played, and I'm terrible in the field, but I can kick and run," I responded.

"Good, we don't even need you in the field.  It'll be perfect!" he said with a grin.


I rolled out of bed the next morning and was bent over pawing through the clothes on my closet floor when James put his hands on my hips from behind.

"Well, good morning," I said with a laugh.

"Quickie for good luck?" he asked, holding my hips against him.  I stood up and turned around.  He grinned at me, wearing nothing but a pair of basketball shorts.

"You know," I responded, sliding my hands across his hard abs, "I've read that having sex before athletic competitions decreases athletic performance for men."

"I'm pretty sure that being horny and distracted by the beautiful woman on the team decreases performance even more," he said, before bending his head down to kiss my neck.

"Hmm, it's possible," I considered, while sliding my fingers under the waistband of his shorts.

He grabbed me and threw me over his shoulder.  "A chance I'm willing to take," he declared, tossing me onto the bed.


The kickball game was awesome.  It was so much fun to play.  The best part was my first turn kicking.  The other team clearly underestimated me and weren't paying much attention when I booted the ball right between the shortstop and third baseman.  It bounced past the outfielder, who tripped while trying to grab it, and I made it to third before I had to stop.  I got home on the next person's kick.  We ended up winning the game by 3 runs.

After, we went out to lunch with the team.  One of James's teammates requested I play with them every week.  "You're way better than Kelsey," he said.  "She can't run to save her life."  After lunch, we went back to my house.  Post-shower, I heaved myself onto the couch.

"I don't think I'll be able to get out of bed tomorrow," I groaned.  "I thought I was in good shape, but apparently I am not even close to in good kickball shape."

James laughed.  "Thanks for playing, we couldn't have played without you.  And you did awesome.  I'm pretty sure you'll be the official backup now."

"It was fun!" I said.  "I had a great time, even if I feel like I got hit by a bus now." 

"Are you going to be able to make it game night?" he teased.  This evening I was going to Kendra and Christian's house to play Cards Against Humanity, while James had dinner with his dad and brother.  I definitely wasn't interested in seeing Jordan again. 

"I'm not worried about getting there.  I'm worried about sitting there for a few hours, having a few drinks, and losing all use of my legs!" I said, before dissolving into laughter.

"I should go," James said about an hour later.  I lifted my head from his lap where I'd been half asleep while he stroked my hair and massaged my scalp.  He helped me sit up, and I yawned.  When I stood, I wobbled for a second before gaining my balance.  "You're kind of a disaster," he said with a laugh.

"I won't argue with that," I agreed.  At the door he leaned down to kiss me.  When he left, I fought the urge to collapse back onto the couch and I went to get ready for game night.