Stubborn

Look, I'm easy.  I guess you can call this a bonus post.  Really I just moved tomorrow's post to today, but  I hope to have a post up from Brody's perspective tomorrow or Monday.  That will be the real bonus post.  Enjoy :)
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My car spun twice before I lost track of the rotations.  I came to a hard stop with my car's back end in the drift just beyond the shoulder on the other side of the road, my front end sticking into the lane of oncoming traffic.  A pair of headlights was bearing down on me and all I could do was shut my eyes and hope they didn't hit me straight on.

But the impact I was expecting didn't come.  I opened my eyes and saw a vehicle stopped crookedly just a couple feet away from my car.  Their driver's door opened and a middle aged man rushed over to my car.  I rolled down my window.  "Are you okay?" he asked me breathlessly.

I was completely incapable of forming words at this moment.  I was far too busy shaking and thanking the universe that I wasn't hurt.  "Miss?" he said anxiously.  "Should I call someone?  Do you need an ambulance?  Is there someone that come get you?"

"No," I croaked finally.  I cleared my throat and tried again.  "No, thank you.  I'm okay.  Just really freaked out.  Can you...do you think you can help me get my car back on the road?" I was stuck pretty firmly into the drift behind me.

"Are you sure?  You don't look so good," he said, looking worried.

"Please.  I just need to go home."  He grabbed a shovel from his vehicle and I grabbed mine and we dug away some of the snow.  Luckily, at this hour the roads were deserted.  After about 15 minutes, I got back in.  My car started right away, and with a good shove from the man who had stopped, I was headed back towards home.

I made it, nearly an hour after I had started.  Brody was probably in near panic-mode.  I pulled out my phone and sent him a text before I even turned off my car, letting him know I made it. 

I had a text back immediately, but I waited until I was inside to read it.  "Good.  I was getting really worried.  Thanks for letting me know."  Seconds later, I got another.  "I love you Liv."  I texted back that I loved him too, and got ready for bed.

I was physically and emotionally exhausted, and when I fell into bed I couldn't stop myself from crying.  I was still shaky from my near-accident and totally overwhelmed by what had happened with Brody.  I didn't understand why he was pushing me so hard to do something I wasn't comfortable with.  And I was angry at myself for being completely unwilling to talk about it.

It me forever to calm down enough to fall asleep.  Once I fell asleep, I slept restlessly, waking with a nightmare about Jordan and then just general weird dreams for the rest of the night.  When I dragged myself out of bed, I forced myself to go to the gym and burn off some of my anxious energy.

When I got home, I greeted Lauren and went up to shower.  After my shower, I saw I had a text from Brody.  "Please call me when you're ready to talk."  I pulled on leggings and an oversized sweater and sat down on my bed to call him.

"Hi," he said tentatively when he answered. 

"Hi," I replied.

We were both quiet for several seconds, and then he said, "So, I think I owe you an apology, and I'd really like to see you.  I'm at my office, can I come over in a little while?"

"Lauren's here," I replied.

"Are you willing to come here?  To the office?  That'll be more private, if you want," he said.

I agreed, and told him I'd be there in a half hour.  I dried my hair and took off, saying a quick bye to Lauren.

I called Brody when I had parked, and he met me at the desk on his floor.  He hugged me tightly and led me back to his office, pulling the door shut firmly behind him.  We sat on the couch, and I pulled my feet out of my boots and tucked them under me.

"Liv," Brody started, looking pained.  "I'm really sorry.  I was pushy and I should have just accepted that you weren't ready when said it.  If you're not ready, I understand that.  But I don't get why you left."

I took a deep breath and said, "I'm sorry too.  I was super quick to dismiss it and I probably could handled it better.   And then the storming out was...not good.  I just felt so trapped by the entire conversation."

I could see the guilt and distress in his face, and when he said, "I hate that you felt so trapped by my actions that you risked your safety to leave," I felt a stab of shame.  I looked down at my hand, and a tear slid down my cheek.  "Liv?"  Brody asked, sounding concerned.  When I didn't answer, he spoke again.  "Olivia?  Talk to me." 

The tears came full force then, and I couldn't have talked even if I wanted to.  He tugged my feet out from under me and shifted them over his legs so he could get close enough to pull me against him. He didn't say anything, just rubbed my back and waited until I stopped.  When I had, he asked, "What's going on?"

I tried to figure out a way to explain, but finally just blurted out, "I'm so fucking stubborn that I made a terrible decision just to make a point.  I didn't leave because I felt trapped.  I mean, I did feel trapped, and that's originally why I wanted to leave, but by the end I left to make a point.  And you were right."  The tears were sliding down my cheeks again, and Brody brushed them away, looking confused.  "You were right.  I shouldn't have been driving, and I spun out and almost got into an accident.  That's what took me so long to get home.  I had to literally dig my car out of a snowbank while the front end sat in the oncoming traffic lane.  The guy that helped me dig out barely stopped before he hit me." 

"Jesus, Liv," Brody said, closing his eyes briefly.  When he opened them, he looked like he was about to say something, and the look on his face was similar to the look my mom gets when she lectures me about something stupid I did.  Then he shook his head slightly and hugged me tightly.  "I'm glad you're okay."

"You were going to lecture me," I observed.  "Probably about being so stubborn that it makes me stupid.  Don't worry, I've heard that one before."

Brody laughed a little.  "Well, those aren't the words I'd use at all.  And I'm pretty sure you don't need a lecture right now, though it is tempting to deliver one and I certainly can if you want.  I was really fucking worried about you last night, Liv.  My sister..."  He stopped talking, and my heart sank.  I hadn't even thought about his sister's accident and how eerily similar the events leading up to my fender bender last night were to it.  Because, as usual, I was too busy thinking about myself.  I pressed my face into his chest as he continued,  "You are stubborn as hell, but I love that about you."

I snorted.  "I'm sure you do."

"I really do," he insisted.  "I got to where I am by working hard and steamrolling people.  I'm not proud of the steamrolling part, and it's not something that I ever want to do to you, but sometimes--like last night--I do it without meaning to.  I'm glad that you're stubborn because when it slips out like that, I know you won't let me run you over.  I need that.  I need someone to push back."

I considered this for a minute, then nodded.  I slipped my arms out from where they were tucked between us and wrapped them around him, leaning hard against his chest.

"You're okay?" Brody asked.  "We're okay?"

"I'm okay," I confirmed.  "We're okay."  He kissed the top of my head, and we sat there silently for a few minutes.

"What do you want to do for the rest of the weekend?" he asked.

"Stay away from Lauren," I replied.  "I just need a break."

Brody chuckled.  "We can stay at my house," he offered.  I agreed.  "Can we take my car?  The roads were still not good when I drove in this morning, and it sounds like your car has been through enough this weekend."

I punched him lightly in the arm, but I laughed.  "Yes, please.  I don't want to drive out there again right now anyway.  I can take my car home and get some stuff and you can meet me there."

Brody thought for a second, then said, "Or, if you don't mind leaving your car and waiting here for a bit, I can bring you home when I'm done and then we can head out.  It'll make for a shorter commute for both of us on Monday."

"That's an awesome idea," I agreed.  "How much more work do you have?"

"Well, I could stay for hours," he said, making a face.  "But to finish up what I absolutely have to, maybe 45 minutes?  An hour at the absolute most.  I can grab you one of the laptops if you want something to do."

"Actually," I said, yawning.  "I might just lay on your couch."

He studied my face.  "Did you get any sleep last night?"

"Not much," I admitted.  He stood and walked to a door in the corner of the large office.  He opened it and produced a pillow and blanket from a small closet and brought them over to me.

I gave him a weird look as I accepted them.  "You've slept here?  And often, apparently."

He laughed.  "The first few months after I moved up here from Miami to open this office, I spent more nights on that couch than I did in my bed," he said.  "And the same for the first couple weeks I was back from Miami this last time, after I had bought out my dad.  It's actually a really comfortable couch."

I settled down onto the couch while Brody went back to his desk.  The last thing I heard before falling asleep was the tapping of his fingers on the keyboard.

I woke up to Brody gently shaking me.  I sat up but quickly leaned my head back down against the back of the couch and yawned.  Brody laughed at me.  "You're done already?" I asked groggily, eyes shut.

"Already?" he teased. "I tried to wake you up two hours ago when I finished what I said I was going to finish, but you were out cold.  You've been sleeping almost 3 hours."

"Wow," I said in surprise, opening my eyes all the way finally. 

"I told you it was a comfortable couch," he said with a grin, offering me his hand.  I took it and let him pull me up.  When I was standing, Brody pulled me into a fierce hug.  "I love you, Liv," he murmured into my hair.  "So much.  You scared the shit out of me last night, between you driving in that weather so late and me having no idea what was going on in your head."

"I'm sorry," I said, my voice muffled against his chest.  "I shouldn't have taken off like that, and I don't plan on doing it again.  It was not a fun night."  

"I'm just glad you're safe," he said.  "Should we get out of here?"

"Yes," I agreed.

When we got down to his car, he paused by mine, which was parked next to it.  He surveyed my rear driver's side fender, which was sporting a large, angry dent, and the bumper cover, which was cracked in two places.  "You should get this checked out to make sure your alignment isn't off or your suspension damaged," he advised me.  I told him I would.

Brody drove to my house, where I packed a bag with stuff for Sunday and Monday.  As I was leaving my room, Lauren poked her head out of her room.  "Hey," she said tentatively.  "Are you...?"

"Going to Brody's," I responded shortly.  I cringed at my tone.  "I'm sorry, that was not nice sounding.  Yes, I'm spending the rest of the weekend at Brody's house."

She paused, looking down, and then back at me.  "Are you mad at me?" she asked.  Her voice was soft and she looked nervous, and I was immediately reminded of pre-makeup and dresses high school Lauren.

My shoulders sagged, and I set my bag down.  "I'm not mad," I started, searching for the best words.  "I'm difficult to live with, and I know that.  That's why I was living by myself.  I know you're doing the best you can to find a place, and I appreciate that.  And I love you so much, but I'm just getting a little weird about my space, I guess.  It's nothing you've done wrong.  You just do things differently than me, and that's hard for me.  I don't want this whole roommates thing to ruin our friendship, which is why I'm going to be at Brody's for the rest of the weekend."

She nodded, looking relieved.  "Okay, I'm glad you're not mad.  I don't want this to ruin our friendship either.  And I can try to do things the way you like them..."

"No," I said quickly.  "Really.  It's good practice for me, learning to be flexible with my space."  I smirked at her, and she laughed.  "Do you have plans on Monday?  Can we make dinner and hang out after work?"

"Please!" she said quickly.  "Let's do it."  She popped all the way out of her room and hugged me tightly.  "Thank you for being patient with this, Liv, I really do appreciate it."  This tentative, ingratiating Lauren did not come out often, and it was throwing me off, but the whole situation was weird.  I was hopeful that hanging out on Monday would help.  And I really did need to loosen up about it.

"I love you, Laur.  Don't forget it!"

I threw my bag in the backseat of Brody's car and climbed in the front.  "Sorry it took so long," I apologized.  "Lauren wanted to touch base, and we talked for a few minutes."

"How'd that go?" Brody asked, backing out of the driveway.

"Good, actually."  I filled him in on our conversation and plans for Monday.  "I'm relieved that she brought it up.  I should have just talked to her."

I spent the rest of my drive with my eyes shut, both out of tiredness and a little out of anxiety.  I figured if I couldn't see the roads, they couldn't make me nervous.  I opened my eyes when Brody pulled into his garage, still sleepy but relieved we had made it without incident. 

We surveyed Brody's fridge for stuff for dinner and settled on making breakfast for dinner: French toast, eggs, and sausage.  Breakfast for dinner is one of my favorite things.  After we ate, Brody poured me a second glass of wine (because wine absolutely goes with French toast, eggs, and sausage) and we headed for the couch.

Brody put in a movie and I leaned against him, feeling relaxed for the first time since the day before.  I got up partway through to take my glass into the kitchen and when I came back, he pulled me down into his lap.  He kissed me softly, his lips barely brushing against mine.  "I didn't get to do this last night," he murmured against my ear, brushing his lips slowly down the outer edge of my ear before tugging gently on my earlobe with his teeth.

I shivered and started to squirm around so I could face him but he eased me back onto the couch and laid on top of me.  He kept one arm wrapped tightly around my waist and supported his weight with that elbow.  He brushed my hair out of my face, his touch feather-light against my skin.  I sighed softly, enjoying his fingers against my skin.

"I love that sound," he said, before pressing his lips back to mine.  We moved slowly, kissing, touching, tasting each other for nearly an hour before he finally eased inside of me.  By the time we were finished, I had lost track of the number of orgasms I'd had, and I was absolutely spent.  Brody shifted me so he could lay next to me on the couch, and once he was settled, he wrapped an arm around my waist and burrowed his face into my neck.

"You might have to carry me to bed," I mumbled, yawning.  "I'm exhausted."

Brody laughed.  "It's only 8:30," he said.  "And you took a 3 hour nap this afternoon!"

"I think that made it worse," I groaned. 

"I didn't sleep well last night either," he admitted.  "So I'll be ready for bed soon too, probably." We ended up falling asleep on the couch, and stayed there for several hours until Brody woke me up and we went up to bed.