Lauren: Fired

I sit down heavily on the couch and scan the article:
                 Several top executives have been placed on paid leave while an undisclosed, independent  company investigates claims of sexual harassment.  One former employee from the company's Boulder office has come forward and said that she was sexually harassed on several occasions by her former supervisor.  Sean Condin, the supervisor in question, was quickly and quietly moved to one of the Denver locations following the incident.  This appears to be his second move within the company. Condin, who was already on paid leave for unknown reasons, was fired yesterday amidst the accusations.

There's more, but I've seen enough.  "Wow," I say, slowly folding the newspaper.  Then the dots connect and I look up at Alex in panic.  "Shit, what if they think I violated the non-disclosure?"

"The employee in the article is from the Boulder office," Alex reminds me.  "And from the sounds of it, this is something that has been in the works for awhile.  Probably since before you even quit."

"Which explains why they were so eager to give me a nice severance package and have me sign the non-disclosure," I reply.  "What the fuck."

"That means they knew this was happening the whole time," Alex finishes my thought.  "That's..."

"I know."  We look at each for several seconds, then I shake my head and say, "I'm glad I don't work there anymore."

"I am too," Alex says.

I narrow my eyes.  "And I knew there was something off with him!  I told you."

"You did tell me."

"And you blew me off," I accuse him.

"I did blow you off," he agrees again.  "I will never blow you off again."  Then he smirks, because apparently he's 12 and "blow you off" is funny.

"Good, because I imagine you still want to be blown at some point in your life," I retort.

"Mmm, I kind of want to be blown right now," he replies, cocking an eyebrow at me.

"That sucks," I tell him, standing up.  I intend to go back into the kitchen to finish the dishes I was washing when he called for me.  He snorts and I roll my eyes.  "Go ahead, make the joke," I dare him.

"Well it's not fun anymore," he complains.

I smirk and head towards the kitchen.  "Neither is blowing you!" I call over my shoulder.

"Ouch!" he yells back.  "I'll remember that!"

"File it away with your fond memories of blow jobs!" I shoot back.

I hear him start laughing and I grin to myself.  Now that Alex is starting to work again a little, he's been in a really great mood most of the time, rather than just some of the time.  I've even dragged him grocery shopping with me just to get him out of the house, even though I absolutely hate grocery shopping with him.  He's like a small child, wandering away and coming back with fruit snacks or random cookies and throwing them in the cart.  I reach down to grab something, stand up, and he's gone.  Reach for something else, turn around, and he's back with candy.  It's the worst.  But getting him out of the house helps his mood more than anything else, so I suffer in silence.

I'm just finishing up the dishes when Alex yells, "Your work ex-boyfriend is texting you again!"

"You must mean my ex-work ex-boyfriend," I correct him, walking back into the living room.

"I have no idea what I mean," he replies, handing my phone to me.

"Are you supporting my ex-work-romance?" I tease him, sitting down next to him.

He snorts.  "No, I already read the text when it popped up on the screen and it's clearly not romantic in nature."  I cut my eyes at him and he laughs.  "And also I trust you, and all that jazz."

I roll my eyes and open the text.  It says, "Holy shit.  You see the paper?"

"Yes, can't say I'm shocked." I text back.  I see Alex trying not to peek and I thrust my phone in front of his face.  "You can just look if you want to," I tell him, smirking.

"I don't want to!" he insists, shutting his eyes.  I laugh and hold my phone an inch from his face so his eyes cross when he opens them.  "Seriously, are you 12?" he asks, laughing.

"Says the guy who was making blow job jokes earlier," I reply, shaking my head.

"No, I believe you tragically took that pleasure away from me," he says.

I can't help it, I burst out laughing.  "It has so many meanings," I say when I finally get my shit together.  My phone vibrates in my hand, startling me enough that I drop it.  Alex tries not to laugh, but when I try to use my toes to pull it closer and end up sending it skittering across the room, he cracks up, holding his ribs with both hands.  "You're the worst," I mutter, walking over and picking it up.

"I'm the worst for laughing because you dropped your phone and then kicked it across the room?" he asks, wiping tears off his cheeks.

I don't answer, simply glaring at him instead.  I swing my feet up onto the couch, propping them against his leg, as I text back and forth with Logan for a couple minutes.  Alex takes one of my feet and starts massaging it.  "If you're trying to win back blow job privileges you're doing a great job," I inform him.

"I'm not even," he replies, shaking his head.  "Don't think everything you've done for me in the last 6 weeks has gone unnoticed.  I think you've totally earned a foot rub."  He stops abruptly, placing my foot back down on the couch.  "In another 6 weeks, I'll do the other one."

I raise my eyes from my phone and he's smirking at me.  "You're the worst," I tell him.  "I'm going out for lunch and I'm not taking you with me and I'm not bringing anything back for you."

"Finally some peace and quiet.  See you later!" he replies, fighting to keep a straight face.

I lift my phone to my ear and pretend to be having a conversation.  "Hi, Liv?  I'm going to need a shovel and an alibi."

Alex grins and leans over, grabbing my hand and tugging.  "Come here," he requests.  I shift around and settle myself carefully against his right side.  "I love you."

"I love you too," I reply.  "And I know you appreciate all the hard, agonizing work I've put in over the last several weeks.  I'll be patiently awaiting your repayment."

Alex chuckles.  "Okay, I'll keep that in mind."

I have plans to have lunch with Kendra, who has the week off work.  Alex jokingly complains about me leaving him on his own for lunch but quickly shuts up when I offer to bring him back some food.  I haven't spent much time with Kendra lately.  She was pretty sick for the first couple months of her pregnancy so she wasn't doing much.

"Hi!" I greet her cheerfully when I walk into the restaurant.  She's standing just inside the door, waiting patiently for me.  We hug briefly, because it has been that long, and I grin at her.  "You look so good," I tell her.

"I feel fat," she complains.  She smooths her shirt carefully over her itty bitty bump.  "It's just enough that I just look really bloated."

"Not a chance," I assure her honestly.

We sit down and order an appetizer, then start catching up.  I miss her, and I don't even realize it until we're sitting here talking.  Missing people is weird like that for me.

"So I just got a promotion a couple weeks ago, and I feel bad because--" Kendra starts.

"You got a promotion?" I ask, surprised.  "I had no idea!  Congratulations!"

She smiles shyly.  "I did," she confirms.  "I haven't seen you so I guess I didn't even think to tell you, I'm sorry."

"Don't be," I insist, feeling guilty for not keeping in touch with her better.  "Okay, go on."

"I feel bad because they don't know I'm pregnant.  I'm worried they're going to be pissed that I didn't tell them when they offered it to me, but I was worried they would take it back."

"I don't think that's legal," I say, shaking my head.

She shrugs.  "Even so, I didn't want them to second guess it.  Though I guess they will when I tell them, anyway."

We chat about her promotion for awhile and then I fill her in about what's new with my former job.  an hour passes really quickly and I'm disappointed when she says she has to go home to meet a contractor that's doing some remodeling on their house before the baby comes.

We hug again and I get in the car.  I'm driving home when my phone rings.  It's a number I don't recognize, and I ignore it.  It rings again as I'm walking into Alex's house.  Irritated, I answer it.  "Is this Lauren?" an unfamiliar voice asks.

"Yes, who is this?" I snap.

"My name is Jacob, and I'm a reporter for the Denver Post.  Were you recently fired or let go from your job?  I'd like to talk to you about your former company."

Lauren: Cookies and Wine

Hi friends!  If you didn't see that I posted yesterday, make sure you scroll down and read that one first.  I'll have quite a few posts coming this week for you!
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I sit at my desk at work, feeling annoyed by the entire day.  My client is officially passed off to Logan.  When I called to let them know, the client seemed confused and a little unhappy.  I'd be lying if I said I'm not a little pleased by that.  Not because I want it to go poorly for Logan--because I don't--but because it means that I've done a great job with them.  And maybe because I feel a little vindicated, as well.

Training Logan had been interesting.  He'd actually stopped hitting on me and intentionally trying to make me uncomfortable nearly completely.  He still makes a little quip here and there, but it feels more like a joke and I'm way more comfortable with it.  He's just generally been a lot more respectful, and I appreciate that.  It was bad enough having to train him to take over the best part of my job, I might have run someone over with my car if I'd had to suffer through his impertinence on top of it.

Anyway, I'm sitting at my desk being annoyed.  It's Friday and I'm working on a stupid, pointless busywork project given to me by Sean.  I want to tell him that he's wasting my skill-set, but I know that won't help me.  I'm also jealous because Alex isn't at work.  Instead, by this point he's on his way to Winter Park to go skiing with the guys.  I don't want to go skiing, but I'd kill to not be at work.

Alex suggested last week that I update my resume and start applying for new jobs.  I've been miserable lately and he's getting the brunt of it.  I feel shitty about it, but I've never been unhappy at work so I don't really know how to deal with it.  I did update my resume, but I haven't actually applied for anything yet.  Actually, I haven't even looked.  This was my first real world job after college, and just thinking about writing cover letters and interviewing makes me want to vomit.

"Almost finished with that report?" Sean asks from behind me, startling me.

I take a second to force my face into a neutral expression before I turn.  "Almost," I reply.  It's true, but I could have been done an hour ago.  I was purposely working slowly because I didn't want any other stupid projects assigned to me so close to the end of the day.

"Great," he replies.  "So, when's the wedding?"  He motions to my left hand.  I've finally gotten my ring resized so I can wear it on my left hand, but it's proven to be awfully confusing for people.  I don't care.

"We haven't decided yet," I answer, not willing to tell him that there is no wedding.

"Your fiancé must love you quite a bit, that's an impressive ring." I had to fight to keep from rolling my eyes.  "How big is that emerald?  Looks like it's close to 2 carats."

"I have no idea," I respond, not at all surprised by his brazenness.  How fucking rude.

He grins.  "Well, I'll let you get back to work."  Finally.  He turns and walks back to his office, just a few steps behind me.  I hate this cube.  I hate it more than anything.

I wrap up my project and get it to him about 20 minutes before the end of my workday.  I spend the last 20 minutes dicking around in my work email, pretending to be busy.  Finally it's 5, and I can leave this hellhole.  I hate how quickly my job went from something I enjoyed to something torturous.

I stop at the liquor store on my way home.  While the guys are all in Winter Park skiing, Kinsley, Kendra, Liv, and I are going to bake cookies and drink wine tonight, then do a little last minute Christmas shopping tomorrow.  Liv has the most room, so we're all heading out there tonight after work.  Liv and Kinsley are providing all the cookie making ingredients, Kendra is picking up Thai food, and I'm charge of bringing the wine.  I'm actually pretty excited for this, it's been awhile since we've gotten the girls together for something so laid back.

After much text debate, we had realized that it made the most sense for Liv to just pick us all up on her way back home after work.  She's just gotten a new car, a brand new Toyota Highlander, and it stinks.  I really hate that stupid new car smell.  But it's really nice inside, and even I can appreciate that.

We collect the rest of the group and head out of the city.  Kinsley, who is sitting in front, insists on finding Christmas music on the radio, which Liv quickly shoots down.  Liv hates Christmas music before Christmas Eve.  "You're such a grinch," Kinsley grumbles.

"I'll have to listen to it all day tomorrow," Liv protests.  "Don't make me listen to it now too."

"You're so weird, even I like Christmas music," I chime in from the back seat.  Everyone laughs at that, because it's true.  I don't like many things.

Once we're inside, Liv turns on the fireplace.  "Brody likes it to be freezing in this house," she complains.  "I'm so excited that he's gone for the whole weekend so it can be a reasonable temperature in here.

I promptly sit down on the floor to pet Eddie, who sits right next to me, then lays sideways over my legs.  "You're ridiculous," I say to him.  He just stretches further over my legs and lets his tongue flop out of his mouth.  Kinsley wrinkles her nose--she's not a pet lover.  I feel like people would expect that of me, not her, but she definitely is not a fan.

"Eddie, let's go out!" Liv calls.  He lifts his head and gives her a disdainful look, then closes his eyes and pretends to ignore her.  "Eddie!"

I stop petting him and he lifts his head again and looks at me with big, imploring eyes.  "Nope," I tell him.  "Listen to your person.  I'll pet you more later."  With a big, exasperated sigh, he hauls himself up and pads over to the door.

"Some guard dog you have there," Kendra teases.

"Oh, he can be really scary," Liv assures her.  "The UPS man leaves packages in the middle of the driveway most days because he won't get close enough to the house to leave them on the porch."

Liv gets busy pouring wine (and the sparkling cider I picked up for Kendra, because every once in awhile I'm thoughtful) while I wash my hands and Kendra gets the food out.  Kinsley regards Kendra carefully.  "You can't even tell that you're pregnant," she says.

"Well, I'm not even three months pregnant yet," Kendra points out.

"Wait a second..." I say, the wheels in my head spinning.  "Oh my god.  Did you get pregnant at Liv's wedding?"

Kendra snorts.  "Well, not at the wedding," she replies, rolling her eyes.  "That would have been inappropriate.  But it's possible that I got pregnant after her wedding."

"Lauren, you can't just ask people when they had sex," Liv chimes in.

"I didn't!" I protest.

"You basically did," Kinsley replies.  "You do know where babies come from, right?"

We all laugh at that, and Eddie looks confused when he comes back in.  "I'm used to it by now," Kendra assures us.  "And let's be real, Lauren has no qualms about talking about people's sex lives."

"We're all friends here," I say, shrugging.  "So Liv, how's married sex?  Is it as awful or non-existent as people would like us to believe?"  I smirk as Liv turns pink.  I love to harass her about sex.  She can be such a prude about talking about it.

"It's great, thanks.  Even better, actually," she retorts.

Kendra smirks and says, "Hello?  Clearly it's still existent."  She points to her completely flat stomach and wiggles her glass of sparkling cider at me.  "You do know where babies come from, right?"

We laugh again, and it feels so good to be hanging out with them and having fun.  I manage to forget all about the bullshit happening at work.  "Guys, why did we stop doing this regularly?" I ask, taking a big bite of my pineapple fried rice.

Kinsley shrugs.  "We all got so busy with our own stuff.  You're right, though.  We need to do this regularly.  Every month, maybe?"

We agree to that and finish our food.  Then we get to the cookies.  Even with the size of Liv's kitchen, we're constantly getting in each other's way.  That increases as we open our fourth bottle of wine, and soon we're just sitting on the couch eating cookie dough.  Well, Liv, Kinsley, and I are.  Kendra is popping chocolate chips into her mouth because salmonella.  Whatever.

"We shouldn't even bother baking these," Kinsley says.

Kendra shakes her head and wrinkles her nose.  "You guys are disgusting.  I'm baking some of these cookies so I can actually eat them."

"You'll have to pry this bowl out of my cold, dead hands!" Kinsley challenges her, grinning.  In the end, we end up baking what's left of the cookies. We honestly probably ate half of the raw dough.  No regrets.

Kendra ends up in bed shortly after eating a couple warm, gooey cookies.  Apparently being pregnant makes you really tired.  She opts to take the downstairs guest room in hopes that we won't keep her awake with our drunken shenanigans.

Turns out she has little to worry about.  Instead of getting ridiculous, we end up curled up on the couch, passing the last bottle of wine around (because we're classy as hell) and talking about relationships and marriage and babies.

"So is Alex okay with not ever getting married?" Kinsley asks me curiously.

"I think so," I reply, shrugging.  "I mean, he said he was.  One time he said if it was up to him he'd like to get married, but he'd rather be not married and with me than married to someone else."

"You guys have the strangest relationship, but it works for you."

"Like you should talk?" Liv crows.  "Your relationship is weird too."

"So is yours!" I exclaim.  "You guys never even see each other."  We all dissolve into drunk giggles and admit that we all have our weird relationship things.  I look at Liv.  "Are you guys going to have kids?"

"Someday," she says.  "Not yet.  We both want Brody's schedule to be more reasonable and predictable first.  He's actually making a bunch of changes at work to make it happen, so we'll see.  I'm thinking not for a couple years though.  We both have things we want to do first."

We both look at Kinsley.  "What?" she asks, confused.

"Have you and Damien talked about the future?" I ask.  "Marriage, babies?"

Her eyes widen slightly and she shakes her head.  "No, not really.  I mean, yeah, a little in general terms.  But we're both really happy with how things are right now.   I think about it sometimes, though.  I love watching him with his niece and nephew.  It makes me think about him being a dad, you know?  I'd kind of given up on having kids of my own, but I think I'd like to have kids with him if everything works out."

"He'd be a good dad, I think," Liv says, nodding.

I yawn, quickly setting off yawns all around.  Kinsley and I are sharing the guest room on the main floor, and we head in that direction while Liv turns off the lights and fireplace.  Eddie gets up from his bed near the fireplace and follows Liv over to the door so she can let him out one last time for the evening.

I wake up to the smell of breakfast, and find Kendra in the kitchen cooking.  I'm surprised no one else is up, but neither of them take much longer to make their way down to the kitchen.  We eat breakfast and get ready to go out shopping.  I don't know how I let myself get talked into braving the crowds to shop the weekend before Christmas, but here I am.

Despite the crowds, we have fun.  But I'm definitely still relieved when Liv drops me off at home and I can kick off part two of my weekend: the "me time" part.  I start by immediately ditching my jeans and sweater for fleece pajama pants and a hoodie.  Then I order a pizza.

I've been parked on my couch for several hours when my doorbell rings.  I ignore it.  If I'm not expecting you, I generally don't answer the door.  If you can't be bothered to call me before you stop by, I can't be bothered to get off the couch to let you in.

Seconds later, my phone vibrates.  I look and I have a text from Liv.  It says, "It's me.  Let me in, please."  

I haul myself off the couch, unlocked the door, and pull it open.  "You know, you really should call first," I say grumpily.  I'm about to say more, but the look on Liv's face stops me.  "What?" I ask, getting nervous.

She slips past me to step inside, then turns back to me.  She touches my arm gently and says,  "Lauren, we're going to Winter Park.  Alex is in the hospital."

Lauren: Uneasy

I know that I owe you guys a post.  I won't forget it, but I also don't think I'll be able to get it up this week.  I was too busy having a blast on my trip to think about blogging.  I'll get you guys two posts this week.  I anticipate a bonus or two next week to make up for the skipped post :)
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"And then he wanted to know about what I do outside of work," I complain to Alex.

Alex raises his eyebrows in confusion.  "And?"

"And why should I have to tell him that?"

"Why not?" Alex asks.  "I talk to my boss about things that aren't work related all the time."

"What?" I ask.  "Why would you do that?"

Alex chuckles a little.  "That's what most people do, actually," he replies.  "I'm pretty sure you're in a really significant minority with going to work, doing your work, and not chatting with your coworkers."

"I chat with my coworkers," I argue.  "Not as much as most of them, that's true.  But I don't see any reason to chat with my boss.  He's my boss.  Why does he care what I do on the weekends as long as it doesn't affect my job?"

"Because he's trying to form a relationship with you so you don't hate him."

"That's what he said," I grumble.  "But I wouldn't hate him.  He's my boss.  He'll have to do things I don't agree with him.  It's his job.  It is what it is."

"Most people aren't like you," Alex points out.

"But besides that, something about him felt off," I insist.  "And he touched me."  That gets Alex's attention.  "He put his hand on my back," I clarify quickly.  "But you know how I am about people touching me."

"Yes, I do," he agrees.  "He sounds...overenthusiastic."

I snort.  "Let's hope that's his worst fault." I'm a little irritated that Alex doesn't see the problem with any of this.  It isn't so much that he asked, but that he pressured me to tell him even after I told him I wasn't comfortable with it.  And then he touched me.  I'm just not a fan.  "What do you want to eat?" I ask, changing the subject.

We debate our dinner options for awhile, settle on one, and go pick up food.  When we finish eating and are cleaning up, Alex wraps his arms around me from behind and presses his lips to my neck.  "Are you going to get mad at me for touching you?" he asks.

I pull away and snap, "Yes, if you're going to do it to mock me and make me think about my sleazy new boss."

"Lauren, I'm sorry," he says immediately.  "That was shitty.  I didn't mean to mock you."

"Okay, thanks," I reply.  "I accept your apology."  He backs off and gives me some space while we finish cleaning up, and we move to the couch for a little while before bed.

I'm really tired and we end up heading up to bed pretty early.  I let Alex brush his teeth first because I take a lot longer, taking off my makeup and such.  By the time I'm done he's in bed.  He's laying on his back squarely on his side of the bed.  I climb under the blankets next to him and lay close to him, but not quite touching him.  I do rest my head on his arm, then slide my hand down his stomach, pausing at the waistband of his shorts.

"I thought you were mad at me," he says, sounding confused.

"I'm not," I reply, working his shorts down over his hips and wrapping my hand around him, moving it slowly.  He groans and moves his head, trying to get within range to kiss me, but I stay where I am.  Eventually I slide down the bed and give him what I'm pretty sure is one of the best blowjobs I've ever given.

"Jesus, Laur," he breathes, once he catches his breath.  He slides his hand down my hip and slips his fingers beneath the hem of my shorts, but I push his hand away.  "No?"

"Not tonight," I say.

He pushes himself up on one elbow and looks at me.  "You're really upset about this new boss, aren't you?"

I shrug.  "Not really upset, but I just feel...uneasy, I guess.  I can't put my finger on why.  I'm probably just being an idiot because my routine has been changed without my knowledge or consent, though."  I roll onto my side and scoot backwards a little, and he settles behind me, wrapping an arm around my waist.

"You're never an idiot," he replies, dropping a kiss onto my shoulder.  "Dramatic control freak, sure.  But not an idiot."

"I'll show you a dramatic control freak," I grumble back to him.

"Kinky," he replies, and I can imagine him smirking.  I dig my elbow back into his ribs until he laughs and says, "Knock it off."  I do, and we both settle down to sleep.

When I get to work the next day, I do my best to slip unnoticed past Sean's office and go right back to my cube.  The day is quiet, and Sean barely looks up when I walk past his office to go to the bathroom or to the breakroom for more coffee.  By the end of the day, I've relaxed and decide that maybe I was being ridiculous yesterday.

After work, I meet up with Liv, Kinsley, and Kendra to get dinner and drinks.  It feels like it's been forever since we've all hung out.  I'm the first one there, as usual.  Liv and Kendra both get there just a couple minutes after me, and Kinsley is about 10 minutes late--also as usual.

Once we're all there, we order drinks.  We all give Kendra a weird look when she orders water.  "What?" she asks, a little defensively.

"You just don't usually order water," I point out.  "Something you want to tell us?"

"No," she says quickly, but I can tell she's lying.  I cock an eyebrow and she laughs and rolls her eyes.  "Fine," she says, holding up her hands in surrender.  "I wanted to tell you guys in a more exciting way, but I'm obviously outed.  I'm pregnant!"

Kinsley and Liv both squeal, and I hug Kendra since I'm next to her.  She's laughing and the people around us are looking at us like we're total assholes, which we are at the moment.  "Congratulations," I say, trying to keep my excitement contained to a level that is appropriate for a public dining establishment.  Kinsley and Liv echo me and we all bring our volume down a notch.

"Thank you," she replies, beaming.  "Only our families know, so can you keep your mouths shut?  I mean, I guess if you want to tell your boyfriends, that's fine.  And your husband," she adds, looking at Liv.

We spend the rest of dinner chattering excitedly about Kendra's pregnancy and the other things going on in our lives.  Kinsley is uncharacteristically quiet at first, but she warms up quickly.

Friday is much the same as Thursday, and I relax even more at work.  I've now fully convinced myself I was being ridiculous about Sean.  He catches me as I'm leaving and wishes me a good weekend.  Nothing creepy or shady about it.  I smile and wish him the same in return.

I go to Alex's house after work.  He's already there, reclining lazily on the couch, still in his work clothes.  They're disheveled from the day--tie loosened, some of his shirt buttons undone, shirt untucked, socks off.  "Really?" I ask, walking in and giving him a look.

"Long week," he replies, grinning at me.  "Come here."  I unzip my boots and take them off, then go over to the couch and sit next to him.  "Don't I get a kiss hello?" he asks, pretending to pout.

"You are seriously the worst," I say, but I lean over and kiss him.  I only mean to give him a quick kiss, but he grabs me around the waist and pulls me tightly against him, kissing me deeply.

"The worst?" he asks, pulling away and cocking an eyebrow.  "I'd better present evidence to the contrary."  He slides his hands under my skirt.  "I still owe you from the other night."

"No you don't," I argue.  "That wasn't the point."

"I don't care," he replies.  His fingers hook beneath the waist of my underwear and slide them down my thighs.  When they're as far down as they'll go with how I'm sitting, he flips me onto my back on the couch, and pulls them the rest of the way off.  Then he pushes my skirt up out of the way and runs his hands back down over my hips, down my legs, and back up, parting them as he goes.  He spends a little time teasing me with his fingers before he settles between my legs and lowers his mouth to my skin.

When he's done, I'm a breathless heap of tangled clothes, twisted on the couch.  He laughs.  "Now who's a mess in their work clothes?" he teases me.  He gives my ass a light smack and says, "Move over, I want to lay with you."  I shift so he can lay between me and the back of the couch, and he wraps his arms around me.  We end up spending most of the rest of the evening fooling around on the couch before finally going to his bedroom and having sex.

I spend the entire weekend with Alex, which is not a thing I normally do.  But it's a good weekend, and I'm feeling relaxed and cheerful on Monday morning when I get to work.  That feeling ends as soon as I walk back into our little cube farm.  It looks like a three ring circus.

"What's going on?" I ask a coworker named Leah.

She rolls her eyes at me.  "Moving cubes," she says back quietly.  "A surprise move.  I don't know why.  Sean says he wants to make things more 'cohesive'."

I sigh and make my way back to my cube.  Someone has placed a box on my chair so I can move my stuff, and I see my phone is already disconnected.  I groan and start packing up my stuff, waiting for someone to come direct me to my new cube.

Shortly after I finish packing, Sean comes over with a newer guy trailing behind him.  "You'll be taking this one," Sean says to him.  "And Lauren, come with me please."  He flashes me a quick smile, which I force myself to return.

My smile dies when he proudly presents my new cube: the one directly in front of his office.

Defeated

I just got a ton of writing done, and this post is a little shorter than usual.  I think it makes a great bonus then!  Plus we have not had much Brody and Liv lately.  Enjoy :)
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I didn't see much of Brody or Ken for a good portion of the week.  Ken stuck mostly to the lower level of the house.  On Wednesday, I invited him up to have dinner with me.  He declined politely, leaving me to eat by myself.  I put the leftovers in the fridge for Brody, then went upstairs to relax in the bathtub for awhile.  When I got out of the tub, I heard voices downstairs, and I pulled on a pair of a shorts and a t-shirt and wandered down to find Brody and Ken laughing in the kitchen.  Brody was heating up the food I'd put in the fridge for him while Ken was making himself a sandwich.  Even though I knew it was irrational, I was a little disappointed that Ken would happily join Brody but not me.

"Hey, Liv," Brody said as I walked into the kitchen.  I greeted both of them.  Brody looked exhausted, but still grinned at me as I jumped up onto the counter next to where he was standing and eating.  Ken stuck around for about 90 more seconds then said goodnight and took his sandwich downstairs.

I tried not to take it personally and said, "How was your day?"

"Better now that I'm home," he replied, putting his plate in the sink and coming to stand in between my knees.  When I was sitting on the counter, we were almost eye to eye.  "How was yours?"

"Better now that you're home," I said, grinning at him.  He laughed, which quickly turned to a yawn, then kissed me lightly.

"Don't get too excited about it," he warned me.  "All I want to do is go to bed.  And sleep."

"I don't blame you," I replied.  "And that's fine with me!"

We headed upstairs and I let Brody have the bathroom to get ready for bed first.  By the time I was done washing my face and brushing my teeth, Brody was already sprawled face down under the blankets.  I almost laughed.  He looked like an exhausted little kid that had just sort of tumbled into bed and gotten covered up with a blanket by his parents.  He stirred when I got into bed and scooted over a little, throwing his arm over mine.

"Comfy?" I asked.

"Mmmmm."

I laughed softly.  "Goodnight, I love you."

"Love you too," he mumbled, his voice seriously muffled by the pillow.  I chuckled again and got comfortable.


I was making some phone calls at work the next day when Josh came in and made himself comfortable in the armchair in the corner.  I finished one phone call, then immediately dialed the next.  When I was done leaving a message, I hung up and looked up at him expectantly.

"Where have you been?" he asked pleasantly.  "I feel like I've hardly seen you."

That's because I've been avoiding you.  "I don't know," I said, keeping my voice polite.  "I've been here.  I've been busy, lots of client appointments."

"That's kind of why I'm here," he replied.  I looked at him, confused.  "I have a client I need to refer out.  I thought you'd be a really good fit for her."

"I'm full right now, but thanks for thinking of me," I responded.  I started to turn back to my computer, thinking we were done, but he kept talking.

"Well, Kelly said you had a client you wanted to transfer to a male therapist," he said.  That was true.  I had a teenage boy I'd been seeing for about a month that I thought would work better with a male therapist.  I had been planning to transfer him when I reduced my hours, then ended up unexpectedly closing with another client that was moving.  "We could switch."

"We could," I agreed hesitantly.  I didn't trust Josh, but from everything I heard, he was a great therapist.  "Let me talk to Kelly."

"Sure," he said, easily agreeing.  He stood up and walked to the door, then paused, turning back around.  He leaned against the doorframe and said, "Look, I've been kind of a dick to you, and I'm sorry.  I had some shitty stuff happening in my life and I took it out on you.  Not that it makes it okay, or anything."

Not really sure how to respond, I just thanked him.  He nodded and walked out.  I was surprised by his apology, but it didn't do much to change my lack of trust in him.  When I got a break later in the day, I went to Kelly's office and we talked about switching our clients.  In the end, we decided it was what was most clinically appropriate for both clients and she gave me the go ahead to arrange the transition with Josh.  He was gone for the day, so I didn't get another chance to talk to him about it.

After work, I headed out to happy hour, relieved to see Lauren and Alex both there, and looking perfectly friendly.  I greeted them and went to get a drink.  By the time I came back, Christian and Kendra were there.  It was almost like our old happy hours, we were just missing Brody and Kinsley.  "Any updates on the roommate situation?" Lauren asked.  "Any more...interruptions?"  She dissolved into laughter as my face turned bright red, then of course she relayed the story to the group, despite my protests.

"Sometimes I hate you," I grumbled.  "But no, no more interruptions.  I don't know, things are weird.  He's avoiding me, I think.  I'm trying really hard to be nice because I want us to be friendly, but it seems like he's not even interested in it, which kind of sucks.  Brody has been really busy this week, so Ken just hangs out downstairs and awkwardly greets me then hurries away if we happen to run into each other."

"Is it weird because Brody hasn't been around and you guys don't really know each other?" Kendra suggested.

"Well, yeah," I agreed.  "I just don't know how to make it better.  It kind of sucks to feel uncomfortable in your own home, and I want him to be more comfortable too."

"It'll happen," Kendra said kindly.  "Don't worry too much."

Brody got home shortly after I did.  There was no sign of Ken.  Brody looked agitated, and I greeted him carefully.

"Hi," he responded shortly.

"Shitty day?" I asked gently.

"Yes."  He grabbed some juice out of the fridge, poured himself a glass, then shoved the juice back in.

"Want to talk about it?"

"No."  Even though his responses were short, his tone was fairly calm, but this was still not like him.  He must have had a very shitty day, because he was never this cranky.  I stepped out of his path so he could walk out of the kitchen.  He paused in the doorway and turned.  "I need to do some more work.  I'm sorry.  I'll probably be to bed late."  He started to walk out then stopped again, came back to me, and kissed me lightly.  "I love you."

"I love you too.  Let me know if you need anything."  He nodded and left the kitchen for real this time, disappearing down the hall to his office.  I went into the living room and turned the TV on, mindlessly flipping through the channels for awhile.

Brody still hadn't reappeared by the time I went to bed.  I woke up when he climbed into bed about an hour later, and he apologized when I rolled over.  "It's okay, I don't have to be up early."

"You're going to the florist with my mom tomorrow, aren't you?" Brody asked.  I confirmed that, and he said, "If you have time, you should stop at the jeweler and look at rings again.  Maybe you'll find something if you're not rushed like we were last time."

"I could do that," I agreed.  "Your day must have been really bad," I ventured.

He sighed and pressed his face against my hair, and I felt him nod.  "It was.  Neil fucked something up big time, and I have an angry client, an angry agent, and an angry attorney after me for it."

"Yikes," I said, understanding his earlier mood.  "Can you fix it?"

"I'm going to lose the client either way," he said, sounding defeated.  "But I think I can minimize the collateral damage at least."

"I'm sorry, baby," I said, winding my fingers between his and squeezing gently.

"People make mistakes, it's the nature of business," he said.  "It just sucks."

He got quiet and I fell asleep a little while later.  When I woke up in the middle of the night, he was gone.  I assumed he couldn't sleep and was up working.  I woke up again when his alarm went off, and realized that he must have come back to bed at some point, because he was sitting up on the side of the bed.  When he got in the shower, I looked at my phone and saw that it was a little after 5.

I decided to get up and make coffee and breakfast for Brody, in hopes to at least start his day out decently.  I was in the kitchen frying an egg for a breakfast sandwich when the front door opened.  Confused, I turned and saw Ken coming in.  He looked about as surprised as I had been when he'd walked in on Brody and I.  "Oh, uh, hey..." he said, awkwardly.

"Good morning," I replied, trying to pretend that there was nothing remotely odd about this.  He looked like he had had a good night.  "I'm making breakfast, do you want something?"

"Um...yeah, whatever you're making is fine, thanks."  He paused.  "Is there coffee?"

"There is," I replied, getting a mug out.  I poured him a cup and he took it gratefully.

"Thanks," he said, smiling a little.  "I'll be back in a few minutes."  He headed downstairs, presumably to shower and change.

Brody came down right as I was putting the breakfast sandwiches together.  He looked like he hadn't slept at all.  Despite that, he still managed a sleepy smile when I handed him his breakfast.  "You're the best," he said.  "You didn't need to get up for me."

"I wanted to," I said, pouring him a cup of coffee.

He took out two plates and motioned to the table.  "If you can get up before dawn for me, the least I can do is eat with you."  We had just sat down when Ken reemerged from the lower level, showered, shaved, and dressed.

"Hey man," Brody greeted him.  "What time did you get in last night?"

Ken looked at me, and I tried not to laugh.  "Um, about 20 minutes ago," he said, sheepishly.  Brody laughed and shook his head as Ken grabbed a plate and a breakfast sandwich and his cup of coffee.  He joined us at the table and I smiled at him.  He returned my smile briefly and then proceeded to ignore me the rest of the time we were eating.  I felt a little defeated in my efforts to be friendly and form a solid relationship with him, but I kept my mouth shut.

When we were done eating, I shooed the guys out the door and cleaned up, then went back up to bed to lay down for a little while longer.  I didn't fall back to sleep, but I didn't mind relaxing in the comfortable bed with my Kindle one bit.  Then I got up, showered, did my hair and makeup, and got dressed, and was ready to go meet Brody's mom for lunch and wedding stuff.

Three's Company

Plan for the week:  Today's post, below.  Kinsley's final post tomorrow.  I'm going camping in the middle of nowhere on Thursday, so I promise one more post.  If I get both Lauren's first post and the next main storyline post written before I leave, you'll have main storyline on Wednesday and Lauren on Friday.  If I only get Lauren's written, you'll have Lauren's on Wednesday and then nothing until Sunday, unfortunately.  I'll do my best, but you'll at least have three posts this week with the Kinsley bonus!
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When I got home, an unfamiliar car with Washington plates was parked in the middle of the driveway, so I parked in the street.  I grabbed the box containing our invitations and stopped at the mailbox to grab the mail.  Between the box, the mail, my purse, and my workbag, I was out of hands to get my keys to unlock the front door, so I rang the doorbell with my elbow.

Brody pulled open the door and grabbed the box from me, giving me a weird look.  Then he grimaced.  "He's still in the middle of the driveway, isn't he?  I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I said, smiling.  I was doing my best to put my bad attitude aside because I didn't want this to start on the wrong foot.  If it ended up being awful, it wasn't going to be because of me.

"What's in here?" Brody asked, looking curiously at the box.

"Our invitations," I said.  "I forgot all about them, but they turned out great!"

Brody opened the box and took one of the extra ones out and pulled it out of its envelope.  "They did," he agreed, looking at it.  He slipped it back into the envelope and put it back in the box, then smiled at me.  "Hi, beautiful," he said, kissing me lightly.  "How was lunch?"

"It was good," I said, sorting through the mail.  "Lauren was acting really normal, and her sister came too.  I haven't seen Amanda in ages."

I turned as I heard footsteps coming up the stairs.  "Oh, hi Olivia," Ken said.  "I was just coming up to move my car.  I'm sorry if it was in your way."

"That's okay," I said.  "How was the drive here?"

"Long, of course, but other than that it was good," he said.  "Look, thanks for being okay with me staying with you guys.  I'll be out of here as soon as I can, and I'll try not to get in your way.  Can I take you guys out to dinner tonight?"

Brody looked at me and I nodded.  "Works for us," Brody agreed.  Ken grinned and went outside to move his car.  Brody looked back at me.  "Keys?  I'll go put your car in the garage."  I pulled my keys out of my purse and handed them to him, and he started to walk out but then turned back, fishing in his pocket.  "That reminds me.  Here."  He handed me a key.

"What's this?" I asked.

"I put a lock on your library door.  I know how you feel about your space and I thought you might feel at least a little better about everything if your space was secure."

"I love you," I said.  "Thank you.  I do appreciate knowing my space is safe.  I really am okay with this though--he's family.  I just wish we would have had a little more notice.  That's what threw me off.  I was just really caught off guard."

"I know, me too," he agreed.  "And I love you too."  He kissed me and went to move my car, while I took my work bag and shoved it in the entry closet.  It was hard to believe that I was done with working Saturdays (and Fridays too, for that matter) for now.  I briefly wondered what I'd do with all my time, then rolled my eyes at myself.  Plan a wedding, of course.

I moved the box of invitations to the table.  They needed stamps and to be mailed this week.  And I needed to find a florist to go meet with.  Soon, preferably.

Brody and Ken walked back inside, laughing about something.  Ken said, "I'm going to go finish unpacking the things I brought and get settled.  What time should we leave?"  We debated a dinner time for a little while and once it was settled, Ken headed downstairs.

"What are your plans for the rest of the afternoon?" Brody asked me, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

"Changing out of my work clothes and then doing wedding stuff," I said, starting up the stairs.  He trailed after me, but I quickly shut him down.  "We can't have sex right now," I protested.  "What if Ken needs something and comes looking for you?"

"The bedroom door locks," he said, with a shrug.

"Later, please?" I asked.  He agreed, but he still tortured himself by laying on the bed and watching me change.

"Come here," he said, motioning to me once I was done.  I flopped on the bed next to him and let him pull me closer to him.  "What wedding stuff are you going to work on?" he asked, sliding his fingers up and down my arm.

"I need to find a florist, and we need to get stamps on the invitations so we can send them out," I told him.

"Sounds like fun," Brody said.

I laughed.  "I think I heard a little bit of sarcasm there.  Will you help me do the stamps?  There aren't that many invitations."

He agreed immediately to help, and we made our way downstairs and he sat on the couch with me, putting stamps on invitations while I looked for a florist.  With just 36 total invitations to send out, it only took him about 10 minutes.  He carefully stacked them back in the box, then said, "I'm going to go get some work done, unless you need me for more wedding stuff."

"Nope, I'm good," I said.  "Unless you've changed your mind about caring about the florist."  I smirked at him and he shook his head.

"No, not at all," he replied.  "That's all you."  He stood, kissed the top of my head, and wandered into the kitchen, then to his office.  I finished poring over reviews and picked the florist I wanted to meet with.  They were--miraculously--still open, and I called and made an appointment for Friday afternoon.  Then I called Brody's mom and invited her along.  She excitedly agreed to come and we ended up chatting for a few minutes as well.  We planned to meet for lunch first, then go to the florist.  I would never have wanted to spend an afternoon alone with John's mom, and she was a perfectly normal, nice woman, but I was excited to spend time with Thalia.  I had hit the future-mother-in-law jackpot, and I was grateful that she was so amazing.

I headed upstairs to get ready for dinner, and Brody came up to shower while I was running my flat iron through my hair.  "Ken is always late," he warned me, turning on the shower and pulling his shirt off.  "I don't know if living in the same house will change that, but I wouldn't plan on him being ready to go on time."

"Good to know," I said, my eyes on his chest.  They traveled lower as he pushed his shorts off and stepped out of them.

He smirked, watching my gaze.  "You had your chance," he said, stepping into the shower.  "Now you have to wait."

I finished getting ready and went back downstairs to do a little more random wedding-related research while I waited for the guys. Brody wandered down a few minutes later, and I showed him what I was doing.  I was surprised at how easy it was to get him involved in wedding planning stuff.  I only had Kendra's gripes about Christian's lack of interest, plus my brain full of stereotypes to go by, but I had expected it to be much harder to get him interested.

True to Brody's prediction, Ken didn't even appear upstairs until about 20 minutes after we were supposed to leave.  I wasn't worried, because I wasn't in a hurry at all.  He let us know he was going to be driving separately because he was meeting up with some old friends in town after we ate.  I'd almost forgotten that they'd lived here when they were younger, and hadn't realized that he'd probably still know a handful of people in the area.

Dinner was nice, and Ken insisted on paying, which was totally unnecessary but sweet.  I found out a little more about him and his job.  He was an IT project manager for a company with several locations, and had taken a promotion that had resulted in his transfer to the Boulder office.  He'd be doing some traveling to their other offices as part of this position as well.  Ken had the same dry sense of humor as Brody and the two of them had me laughing through most of the meal, as Ken told me stories about young Brody and Brody defended himself.

"I am so glad I don't have siblings to tell you embarrassing stories about my childhood," I commented to Brody as we walked out.

"Yeah, well, he should remember that he's still not firmly back in my favor," Brody said good-naturedly.

"I heard that," Ken called, a few steps behind us.

"I wasn't whispering!" Brody replied, laughing to himself.  I just shook my head.

Brody and I ended up headed somewhere else to meet up with Kendra, Christian, and Alex and have a drink.  I offered to drive, since Brody almost always did, and he actually took me up on it.  Brody went up to the bar to get a drink for himself and a soda for me, and I leaned over towards Kendra.  "I assume Lauren is hanging out with her family?"

Kendra nodded, then lowered her voice and said, "I'm not sure why Alex is here though.  He'd originally said he probably wouldn't be, but then he ended up texting Christian last minute and saying he wanted to come."  I gave her a weird look, and she shrugged.  I looked over at Alex.  He looked fine.  He was giving Christian a hard time about something and they were both laughing.

"Oh, before I forget!" Kendra said, changing the subject abruptly.  "Christian and I want to book our room for your wedding soon, do you guys have rooms blocked anywhere?"  When I grimaced, she laughed.

"I guess I should probably do that this week, huh?" I asked.  I pulled out my phone and added it to my list of wedding related tasks I needed to do sooner rather than later.

"Do what this week?" Brody asked, reappearing with drinks.

"Hotel blocks," I replied.  Brody looked at me blankly.  I explained it to him, and said, "We don't have a ton of people coming, but it still probably isn't a bad idea."

"Makes sense to me," he agreed.

We stayed out for a couple hours, then headed home.  I was pretty sure Brody was solidly buzzed, and he confirmed it when he grabbed my ass as we walked out of the bar.  "Try to keep it in your pants until we get home," I said, laughing and pulling his hand up to a more reasonable spot on my hip.

"Well that's no fun," he grumbled.

He barely managed, and spent most of the drive distracting me with his wandering hands.  He was out of the car before I'd even turned it off, and he pulled my door open for me, then grabbed the keys out of my hands and unlocked the door.  As soon as the door closed behind me, he had me up against the wall, kissing me hard.  I groaned as he nipped at my bottom lip and slid his hands roughly up my skirt.  "I love dresses," he said softly, grinning at me.  "Makes everything so easy."  I started to respond but lost my train of thought when his fingers pressed against me through my underwear.  I sucked in a sharp breath and leaned my head back against the wall, completely forgetting about everything except his fingers against me.

Brody's lips found mine as he moved my underwear aside and stroked me gently.  I moaned into our kiss and pressed my hips against his hand as he eased first one, then two fingers inside me, keeping his thumb pressed firmly against me.  He pushed the fingers of other hand through my hair, then moved it to wrap his arm around my waist when my legs started to shake.  I gripped his back, digging my fingers in desperately as I came.

I was--quite literally--mid-orgasm when the front door opened (which is in plain view of the garage door) and Ken walked in.  Brody and I both froze, my legs clamping shut against his hand, which did nothing helpful, as it just pushed it tighter against me.  Ken took one look at us and quickly looked away, saying, "I'm just going to go downstairs," as he disappeared

I pressed my face against Brody's chest as my cheeks burned.  "At least we're both fully clothed?" he said, sliding his hand out from under my dress and wrapping both arms around me.

"Damn you for making me forget that we have a roommate now," I mumbled, my voice muffled against his shirt.  Brody laughed gently, stroking my back.

"Yeah, that's not a show I want to put on again," he agreed.  "I've just confirmed that exhibitionism isn't my thing at all."  Despite my mortification, I laughed at that.    "Should we go upstairs?" he asked, nudging me gently away from his chest.

I nodded.  "Yes.  Upstairs...with the door locked!" Brody laughed and we headed upstairs, to the only safe place to have sex for the next month.

I Like When You Miss Me

On Saturday morning when my alarm went off, Brody rolled over and wrapped his arm around me.  "You should call in sick," he suggested.  I almost laughed.  He suggested the same thing every morning after the day he got back from traveling.

"You know I'd love to," I replied.  I laid there with him until I couldn't put off getting up any longer, then I untangled myself from him and stood.

He rolled onto his back and stretched.  "Want breakfast?" he asked as I searched through my closet for clothes.

"Thanks, but I don't have time to sit and eat because I spent all my extra time cuddling with you," I teased him.

"I'll figure something out."  He sat up and stretched again, then pulled a pair of shorts on.  He walked over to my closet and kissed me on the cheek before he left the room and walked downstairs.

By the time I made it downstairs, he certainly had figured it out.  He handed me a tumbler of iced coffee and a breakfast sandwich in a Ziploc bag.  "I feel bad for other women," I said, kissing him and taking my breakfast.

"Oh yeah?  And why's that?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow and leaning against the counter, looking every bit the cocky bastard that I had initially been so drawn to.

"Because they don't get to marry you," I replied.  "And you're clearly the best.  Thank you."

"You're welcome," he replied.  He slid an arm around my waist and pulled me over to him.  "You should see what I'd do for you if you called in sick."

I snorted.  "You're so full of yourself."

He smirked and said, "I prefer it when you're full of me."

"You are filthy, and it's too early for your dirty jokes.  At least I know that means you're in a good mood!"    He grinned at me and kissed me lightly.  "Are you going into the office today?"

"Yeah, I probably should," he grumbled.  "I'll be home in time for dinner, then did you want to go out with Alex and Lauren tonight?"

"Works for me," I said.  I looked at the clock on the microwave and had a moment of panic.  "Shit, now I really have to go, I'll see you tonight.  I love you."  I kissed him and took off.

After work I went to the gym then home.  Brody got home in time to help me make dinner and seduce me on the couch.  "I like when you miss me," I joked, bending down to pick up my underwear from the floor where it had been discarded.

"I hate missing you," he countered, reaching up and wrapping his arms around my waist.  He pulled me back down onto the couch and kissed my cheek.

"Well, I don't like missing you either," I amended.  "But I like when you come home."   We stayed on the couch for about 10 more minutes but then had to get up to get going back into town.

By the time we got to the bar where we were meeting our friends, Lauren, Alex, Kendra, Christian, and Kinsley were already there.  I was surprised to see Kinsley, since she had not been responding to our texts, but she was definitely there, and definitely standing away from our table, very close to a guy I didn't recognize.  Brody headed up to the bar to get us drinks, and Lauren nodded to Kinsley and whispered, "They broke up."

"Oh, shit," I muttered.  "How's she doing?"  Lauren gestured to Kinsley as if to say, "You can see what she's doing, how do you think?"  Lauren narrowed her eyes slightly as Kinsley laughed and leaned against the guy.

"Don't look at her like that," Alex said, nudging Lauren with his shoulder.  "You used to do the exact same thing."

"I did not!  Not like that, anyway," Lauren retorted.

"Don't pretend like I haven't been jealously watching you do it for years.  Trust me...you used to do the exact same thing."  At that, Lauren blushed, which is not a thing Lauren does often.  Kendra and I cracked up, and were still laughing when Brody came back and put a drink down in front of me.

 We stayed for a few hours, but things quickly got a little weird.  Kinsley disappeared with the guy she was talking to, then reappeared about 45 minutes later.  She chatted with us again for a little while, then told us she had to go.  She was pretty drunk and when Brody gently asked if she needed a ride, she said a friend was picking her up.

"What are we going to do with her?" Lauren asked after Kinsley had left.

I gave her a weird look.  "What do you mean?"

"She can't keep running around and sleeping with every guy that smiles at her!" Lauren exclaimed with exasperation.

"Why not?" I asked.

Now it was Lauren's turn to give me a weird look.  "I think she's making a mistake," she said after a long pause.  "Or several."

"She's hurting," I said.

"I'm not so sure," Lauren replied.  I got a little frustrated with the conversation.  Of course I was worried about Kinsley, but judging her wasn't going to help.  Shortly after, Brody complained of being exhausted from traveling and we took off.

"So, that got weird," he said, once we were on the way home.

I snorted.  "You weren't there when Alex called Lauren out and told her she used to do the exact same thing.

"I bet that went well," Brody replied wryly.

"Better than you'd imagine, but it was a little awkward.  Things are going to be weird for awhile, I think."

"I'm too old for this shit," he said, shaking his head.

I laughed.  "So am I."  It was going to be an interesting few weeks, at least.

Early Sunday morning, I woke up to Brody wrapping his arm around me and snuggling against me.  I shifted a little and settled more comfortably against him.  We laid there for a few minutes, and then he kissed my shoulder and said, "I'm going to get up and get a little work done.  We'll do some wedding stuff this afternoon?"

"Yeah," I agreed sleepily.  "What time are we having dinner with your mom?"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, sorry.  I called her and she said she meant next weekend.  So not tonight."  I nodded and burrowed further into the blankets as he got up.  I fell back asleep quickly and slept for a few more hours.

When I finally dragged myself out of bed, I made myself breakfast, cleaned up the kitchen, and settled myself on the couch with my Kindle until lunchtime.  I decided to make the homemade barbecue chicken pizza I'd been planning to make on Friday until I came home and discovered Brody already home and making dinner.  Brody came out while I was in the middle of prepping it and asked if I needed help.  I shook my head.  "Want me to turn the oven on?" he asked.

"No, because I'm cooking it on the grill," I replied.  He gave me a weird look, and I realized he had been deprived of grilled pizza so far in his life.  "Trust me," I assured him.

He ended up enjoying the grilled pizza and agreeing that it was a good choice.  I let him clean up after and went to get my wedding stuff on my laptop ready to show him.  When he joined me, I talked him through what Kendra and Lauren had helped me with on Thursday.  "Our main priority right now should be figuring out timelines, guest list, and addresses, because invitations need to go out really soon," I informed him.  "Then we need to get our other services booked--photographer, flowers, music, and of course someone to actually marry us."

We talked through timelines, and I stubbornly insisted on wanting some photos done around sunset. After talking through numerous options that would allow us to do that, we decided on a timeline that had photos first, a cocktail hour that started while we were taking photos, an evening ceremony followed immediately by dinner, then the rest of the reception.  I sent an email to Leigh to get her advice on actual times and make sure this was possible, then we set to work doing some research on the other things we'd need.

I'd sent an email to Kendra's photographer, who was unsurprisingly already booked for that day, but said there was a talented photographer with a very similar style that was just getting started that he'd worked with a few times that might be a good option.  I'd contacted her and she was available and priced reasonably.  Brody and I went through the photos on her site and emailed her again asking to meet with her.  We sent a ton of emails and made some appointments, booking up most of the next Saturday with them.

After that, we moved onto the guest list.  I pulled up the original list we'd made, and we bickered a little about some of the people on it.  "We have enough space, and not all those people will come anyway," Brody said, after I shook my head at his addition of a friend he hadn't talked to in 3 years.

"That's the not point," I snapped back.  "I don't want our wedding day to be a three-ring circus of people we barely know!"

"There are several people you have on the list that I've never met," he pointed out.

"They're family members that I see every year!"  I was getting frustrated, and I cursed myself as my eyes started to well up.  I hate that I'm a frustrated crier.

"Whoa," Brody said, his tone softer.  "What's going on?"

I took a deep, shaky breath and tried to get myself together.  "Getting married in front of a ton of people scares the shit out of me," I admitted.

He looked puzzled.  "Okay..." he said, considering his next words carefully.  "Do you know why?"

I nodded, and I furiously brushed loose pieces of hair out of my face.  "It's hard enough to talk about my feelings with you, the idea of having feelings in front of a ton of people, some of which I'm bound to not know, or not know well, is absolutely terrifying.  I cry at the drop of a hat, so I'll probably sob through the ceremony, and everyone is going to want to hug me, and that all kind of sounds like my worst nightmare."

Brody took my laptop out of my lap and gently closed it, setting it aside.  He put his arm around me and I leaned against his should.  "That makes sense," he said.  "We could always scrap the plans and get married on a beach somewhere, just the two of us."

"You are perfect," I said.  "But I really do want our close friends and family to be there.  I'm just worried about it getting too big, and I'll be nervous no matter what.  I'm sorry I tried to uninvite your friend."

"Well, technically he's not invited yet, so you're good," he joked.  "I know we need to get this list done and get the addresses really soon, but maybe we should stop for today.  We can finish it on Tuesday and then we can get addresses after that, and try to have everything to Lauren's mom by next weekend."

"Okay," I agreed.  I was overwhelmed and tired of wedding planning anyway.  "I can still send her the timeline and she can work on the invitations this week at least."  Lauren's mom had offered to design our invitations and address all the envelopes.  She planned to bring them with her when she came out to visit so that we could mail them right away the first week in August.  In the meantime, we were sending out emails to all the people that we felt really strongly about having there to make sure they had as much notice as possible.

Brody looked at his watch, and I craned my neck to see it.  It was 4:30.  We'd been doing this for close to 4 hours without a break, no wonder I was over it.  "It's been awhile since we've been out on an actual date," Brody commented.  "Do you want to go out tonight?  We can go have dinner and maybe find something else to do."

"Yes!" I agreed enthusiastically.  "That sounds great."

I went upstairs to shower and shave.  After my shower, I pulled on my robe and dried and curled my hair and put on makeup.  I picked out a dress I hadn't worn since last summer and pulled it on.  When Brody came out of the bathroom, he zipped it up for me, and then let out a low whistle.  "You look amazing," he said appreciatively.

"Thanks," I replied, eyeing him up as he stood there in just a towel.  "So do you."

"Save it for later, perv," he said, smirking at me as he pulled open his closet door.

Once we were both dressed and ready, we headed into town, discussing restaurant choices on the way.  When we were settled at a table at our chosen restaurant, Brody said, "We haven't gotten to the fun part of wedding planning yet."

"Which is?" I asked.

"Planning the honeymoon."

"Oh no," I said.  Brody gave me a weird look.  "That's not on my list.  I forgot that there's something else to plan!"

Brody couldn't help but laugh at me.  "Well, since you planned Mexico, and you've done most of the legwork for the wedding planning so far, what if I planned the honeymoon?"

"I would love if you planned the honeymoon," I said, relieved.  I couldn't fathom adding one more thing to the list at this point.

"One condition," he said, holding up a finger.  I nodded at him to continue.  "I want free rein to plan, which means I get to spend however much I want."

I narrowed my eyes at him, then remembered the amount of newly acquired money we'd talked about just two days earlier.  "Deal," I agreed.  "I don't even want to know how much you spent.  Then my brain won't implode if it's too much."

"Done," he said,  holding his hand out to shake on it.  I rolled my eyes, but laughed and shook.  I had a feeling I just agreed to having one hell of an over-the-top honeymoon.

(Now) Kinsley: Boyfriend Doesn't Exist

I'm feeling bonus-y tonight...

___________________________

I let myself be sad my whole drive home.  All 17 minutes of it.  After that, I promised myself, I was done.  Surprisingly, I didn't cry.  I guess I'd done enough of that lately.  Good riddance, because I hate crying.

On Friday, I got a group text from Liv, asking if anyone wanted to do anything.  I didn't.  I also didn't feel like explaining why I didn't, so I just didn't respond.  Instead, after work I went to the gym, hoping that Liv was still going to the one that was closer to her job.  I stayed there until I could barely stay upright on the stair machine anymore, then headed home.  I threw a frozen pizza in the oven when I got home and took a quick shower, then set to work cleaning...again.  It was something to keep me busy.  I considered going out and getting a drink somewhere alone, but decided that was a little too angsty for me.

I checked my phone every 10 minutes.  I didn't want to talk to Damien, but I wanted him to want to talk to me.  I wanted him to be sorry that he fucked everything up.  I wanted him to be sorry, because if he was sorry, that meant that maybe it wasn't all my fault.  But, no call...no text...nothing.  He seemed perfectly content with letting me walk out on him.  Not that I would have let him change my mind, but it's the fucking principle of it.

When my phone rang late Saturday morning, I lunged across the couch for it.  It was Kendra.  I frowned, but decided to answer.  "Hello?"

"Hey! Where have you been?  I need an update on your life, I think," she said.

"We broke up," I said simply.  "But don't be fucking weird about it, okay?  I'm fine."

"You're the opposite of fine, but if you don't want to talk about it, that's okay," she replied matter-of-factly.  "We're going out tonight.  You should come if you want."

I almost said no.  Almost.  Then I realized that if I said no, I'd be proving Kendra's point.  "Okay, where and what time?"  I got the details and hung up.  I headed to the gym and then ran few errands afterwards.

I spent a ridiculous amount of time getting ready to go out.  But when I was done, I was pretty impressed with my reflection.  Rebound sex was going to be happening tonight.

I want everyone to know that I beat Kendra, Christian, Liv, and Brody to the bar.  It's the closest to on time that I've ever gotten out of my house.  By the time Kendra and Christian got there, I had already charmed a drink out of my first unsuspecting victim.  Tonight was about regaining control, and so far it was going great.

Drink Guy bored me rather quickly, and he left when he got tired of my wandering gaze.  The next guy that came over was much more promising.  It wasn't long before I tested the waters by playfully grabbing his arm and brushing my thigh against his.  He quickly offered to buy me another drink.  After drink number two plus a shot, he asked me if I wanted to leave.  It wasn't even 11pm.   "I'd love to," I replied, smiling sweetly at him.

When we got outside, he said, "So I live literally down the block.  Or if you want to do something else..."  He trailed off, suddenly worrying that he misread me.

"Well, that's convenient.  Let's go!" I said.

He wasted very little time with pleasantries once we were inside, and it was just as well.  He was a sloppy kisser, but I slowed his tongue's assault down a little with a hand on his chest and easing my head back a little.  He got the message really quickly.

We made our way to his room, and once we were there he said, "I, uh, don't know if my roommate is home or not..."  I rolled my eyes and pushed him down on his bed.  He lifted me up to straddle him and we continued our frenzied making out.  We were down to our underwear when he said, "I don't think I have a condom."

"Oh, for fuck's sake," I sighed.  I stood up and marched out to the living room where I'd left my purse.  I snatched it and took it into this guy's room with me (I maybe should have at least asked him his name?).  I unzipped the inner pocket and found a condom.  "Here you go," I said, tossing it at him, then undoing and discarding my bra.  Always be prepared.  I was a girl scout.

My quest for a condom had me a little distracted, but a quick flick of his tongue across my nipple brought me back into the moment.  I encouraged him to move things along and he finally got on top of me and guided himself into me.  I was completely underwhelmed by him and quickly paused the action to get on top.  He did absolutely nothing to help me out, but I managed to maneuver a lackluster orgasm for myself before I flipped around and let him finish off from behind.

"Do you have a bathroom?" I asked.

"Huh?"  Fucking post-orgasm daze.

"A bathroom," I repeated.

"Oh, yeah.  Straight across the hall."

I managed to find all my articles of clothing in the dark and took everything across the hall into the bathroom.  I ran my fingers through my hair to tame it, wiped a smudge of mascara away, peed, and got dressed.  Then I slipped out of the bathroom, down the hallway, and out the door.

I was likely back to the bar before he even noticed I was gone.  I was thankful then that I hadn't asked his name.  Quite honestly, I didn't give a shit.  I headed straight for the bar and ordered a shot and another drink.  This time I paid for them myself.

I walked over to the table of happy couples and pretended that I hadn't seen the judgy, dirty looks Lauren had been shooting me all night.  Instead, I talked mostly to Liv and Kendra, who both seemed hell bent on pretending I hadn't just disappeared for 45 minutes after walking out with a guy.  Lauren kept her mouth shut, but I knew what she was thinking.  I had a feeling she and I would have it out at some point in the next couple weeks.

I went to the bathroom and texted Cole, a guy I used to flirt work with.  He'd left my little company about 2 months ago, and he'd sent me an occasional flirty message since then.  I'd blown them all off though, because up until two days ago I had a boyfriend.  "What are you up to?" I sent.  Total booty call text, didn't care.  It took me three tries to get the letters that I wanted...maybe I was more drunk than I thought I was.

"DDing for my friends, but taking them home soon.  You?"

I carefully texted him back, "Got room for one more? ;)" while I went to the bathroom, then washed my hands and headed back for the bar.  I got another shot and another drink, and made my way back to the table, wobbling a little on my stupidly high heels.

When my phone buzzed, I pulled it out, careful to shield it from the others at the table.  I smiled when I saw that it said, "If the one more is you, there's always room.  Where are you?"  I told him, and he told me he could be here in 20 minutes.

Less than 20 minutes later, I got a text saying he was out front.  When I told them I was leaving, a concerned-looking Brody asked if I needed a ride.  I was hoping to sneak out without telling them anything, and I was irritated by him, even though I should have been grateful to have friends that will look out for me.  I told them I was getting picked up by a friend, said bye, and left.

When I stumbled out to the sidewalk, I saw Cole get out of his perfectly impractical double parked Mercedes E-class coupe (inherited from his grandfather--not something he could afford on his own, unfortunately).  "You have the stupidest car for DDing ever," I commented, swaying slightly.

"And you are really, really drunk," he replied, looking surprised.  "Your texts were so coherent."  He looped his hand lightly around my upper arm and led me over to his car.  I was surprised to find the car empty when he pulled open the passenger door for me.

"I thought you were DDing," I said.

"I was," he replied.  "And apparently, I still am."  Without even batting an eye, he reached across me to buckle my seat belt, because I was too distracted by touching all the things inside the car.  I closed my eyes briefly and breathed in his scent...cologne, soap, and a hint of whiskey.  I wondered where he'd been with his friends.

Then the door was shutting, and I jumped at the sound.  He got in and quickly pulled into traffic, pulling on his seatbelt as he accelerated.  "Where to, Miss?" he asked, in a terrible attempt at a British accent.

"Kate Middleton would be fucking offended," I scoffed.  I told him where I lived, and he got us going in the right direction.

"So...boyfriend working tonight, or what?" he asked.  His attempt at casual missed the mark, even with how drunk I was.

"Boyfriend doesn't exist," I replied.

"Oh," he replied.  "I'm sorry to hear that."

I snorted.  "No you're not."

"Don't be a dick, I'm trying to be nice."

"Don't be," I said, shaking my head, which caused me to get a little dizzy.  "I don't like nice guys."

"So I shouldn't have responded to your request for a DD?" he bantered back.

"I wasn't requesting your driving services," I responded flirtatiously.

He laughed.  "If you would have said so in the first place, I would have gotten there to get you two drinks earlier so you could at least stand on your own."

"I can stand just fine, asshole," I replied.  "Hey, turn left here."  I hadn't really been paying attention to where we were, and we'd gone past my street.

He parked in front of my house and after momentarily wrestling with my seatbelt, I got it off just in time for Cole to pull my door open.  He offered me a hand and pulled me up out of the low slung car.  "You are going to kill yourself in those shoes," he said, shaking his head.  I let him put his arm around my waist as he walked with me towards my door.

"You're coming in, right?" I asked, clumsily fishing my keys out of my purse.

He looked at me and smiled slightly.  "You know I would love to.  But I don't make a habit of sleeping with drunk women when I'm sober."

"I'm not thaaaaaat drunk," I protested.  Of course, it was right at that second that I lost my balance and tipped to the left.

Luckily, Cole was able to catch me and right me before I tipped fully.  "Clearly," he responded, smirking.  "Look, I'll walk you in and make sure you get up to bed without passing out on the stairs or something. If you're still interested tomorrow, call me and I'll take you to lunch and then I will absolutely come in."

"I don't want lunch," I pouted.

"Then call me tomorrow I will come over and fuck your brains out, okay?  But not tonight.  Tonight you need a glass of water and sleep."

"You're so fucking bossy and self-righteous," I grumbled.  He laughed, which irritated me more, and followed me inside.  I put my hand on his arm and bent down to unstrap my shoe.

"You should probably sit and do that," he suggested, nudging me towards the couch.  I realized he was actually very right, and I let him guide me over to the couch.  I was past the point of drunk, and I was starting to feel gross and overly tired, and to be honest, I didn't even want to have sex anymore.  I sat down and looked hopelessly down at my feet before leaning back and shutting my eyes.

"Okay, I'll help," Cole said.  He crouched in front of the couch, and even though he probably could have had a great view right up my short skirt, he kept his eyes on my shoes.  He swore as he fiddled with the tiny buckles, but finally slid them carefully off my feet.  He stood and held his hands out to me.  I just gazed listlessly at him, too drunk to care about my bed.

"Please don't make me carry you, Kinsley," he prodded.  I considered this and then lifted my arms up far enough for him to grab my hands.  He pulled and I hauled myself to my feet.  "Upstairs?" he asked.  I nodded.  He half-dragged me up the stairs.  My feet were so heavy I could barely lift them high enough to clear each step.  When we got upstairs, I got a sudden burst of energy and insisted on brushing my teeth and washing my face.  He hovered outside the bathroom while I did that, then got me to my room.  I sat down heavily on my bed.  "Pajamas?" he asked hesitantly.

I laughed and leaned backwards, flopping across my bed.  "It's cute that you think I wear clothes to bed," I slurred.

"Please wait until I leave to take your clothes off, then," he requested.  "Not that I don't want to see you naked, because I do.  But I really, really want you to be sober when I see you naked."

"Okay," I agreed.  "You still want to see me naked and sober, even after seeing me shitfaced and ridiculous?"

"Absolutely.  Call me tomorrow if you still want to see me naked, okay?"  He leaned down and kissed me on the cheek.

"Mmmhmmm," I mumbled.  Maybe I'd just sleep in my clothes.  Like this, sideways across the bed with my legs hanging off.

"Do you need anything before I go?"  I shook my head, and immediately regretted it.  I rolled onto my side and tried to convince myself that if I just fell asleep before I threw up, everything would be good.  That thought lasted all of 10 seconds before I bolted up and into the bathroom.  I slammed the door shut behind me, hoping Cole would take the opportunity to slip out.  But, being the apparent gentlemen that he is (would never have guessed it, either), he pushed the door open behind me and then I felt him pulling my hair away from my face while I did one of the least sexy things a person can possibly do.

I dutifully thrust my arm behind me and he tugged the ponytail holder off my wrist and clumsily tied back my hair.  Then he sat down behind me and rubbed my back.   "You can go," I croaked between bouts of throwing up.

"I know," he replied.  But he didn't move.

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

He chuckled, and waited while I got rid of a little more alcohol.  I racked my brain trying to remember if I had eaten dinner.  Maybe I hadn't.  "Because being drunk as hell is miserable enough.  Being drunk as hell and by yourself is worse."

"I hate everything," I groaned, resting my face on my arm.

"I know," he said.  "Want to try to drink some water?"  I nodded.  He stood and filled the glass on my counter half full with cool water as I flushed the toilet, then he handed it to me.  I groaned again as I shifted and hauled myself upright. I used a mouthful to rinse my mouth out first, then tentatively took a sip.  The cool liquid soothed my raw throat.  I waited, and when it didn't immediately come back up, I took another drink.  "Feel any better?"

"I feel fucking awful," I replied.  "But I guess I feel a little less awful."  I took another sip, then said ruefully, "Guess I blew my chance of ever seeing you naked."

"Nah," he replied.  "I've seen much worse.  At least you made it to the bathroom."

"Yeah, that's great, but I'm never going to want to see you again after this.  Even I have some shame, believe it or not.  Very few people have seen me throw up.  The only one that's seen it a second time was my mom.  And I don't even talk to her anymore.  Once you've seen me throw up, you're out.  This is humiliating."

"You must have been the life of the party in college," Cole replied wryly.

"I don't drink like this ever," I said.  I got shakily to my feet.  "I think I forgot to eat dinner."  I rinsed my mouth again and then grabbed my toothbrush.  I brushed my teeth and splashed some cold water on my face.  Cole handed me the hand towel hanging just out of my reach and I dried my face off, then took another drink from the glass he'd given me.  "Fuck," I groaned.

Cole trailed behind me as I went back to my room and pulled the blankets back.  "Are you good?" he asked.

"I think so," I replied, climbing into bed.  I was still fully dressed, but I didn't even care.  I just wanted to make the spinning stop.  Cole grabbed the now almost empty glass from me, disappeared, and returned a minute later with a full glass of water.  "Thank you."  I took a drink and set it on my nightstand.

"Call me if you decide you're not too humiliated to see me again," he said.

"Yeah, okay," I replied.  I turned towards the wall and pulled the blanket up to my chin.  Cole turned the light off and started out of the room.  "Cole?" I called after him.

There was a pause, and then he said, "Yeah?"

"Thanks.  You're the best."

"You're welcome," he replied.  And then he was gone.

Wedding Planning Panic

I talked to Brody briefly on Monday night--basically just long enough to say goodnight.  I wasn't quite ready to go back to work on Tuesday, but who ever is after a vacation?  I was not disappointed to learn that Josh was out the entire week on vacation.

I logged into our time tracking system to see how much PTO I had at the moment.  Now that we were getting married in October, I intended to use it very wisely (so as little as possible) between now and then, so I could take the maximum amount of time off before and after.  I was relieved to see I had 6 days right now.  I'd accrue a few more prior to the wedding, which would give me some cushion in case I got sick or something, because I planned to take the entire week off before the wedding, then use my two week block of paid leave following the wedding.   I quickly completed the electronic form to request the days off and get approval to use my leave, then logged into my email to catch up.

My workday went by quickly and was enjoyable.  Aside from Josh, and the overall lack of camaraderie here, I really did like my job.  I enjoyed my clients and the work that I did, and my days tended to be far less stressful than those I spent at my first job here in Denver.

I was, however, disappointed to see that I missed a call from Brody during my last client.  Getting in touch with him when he was out of town working was always tough, and missing a call sometimes meant missing my chance.  Once I was in my car in the parking lot, I called him back, and I was excited when he answered.

"Hey Liv," he greeted me warmly.  "How was your day?"

"It was good, actually.  Josh is on vacation all week, so work was blissfully uneventful.  How was yours?  Do you know when you'll be home?"

"Well actually, that's why I'm calling," he replied.  "I have good news and not so good news."

"Okay?" I said, confused.

"I got a phone call today from my dad's attorney.  The lawsuit is settled, and for much less than we were thinking it would.  I just need to go sign paperwork."

"Brody, that's great!" I exclaimed.  "So I assume the not as good news is that you're heading to Miami when you're done in Chicago?"

"Yes. But there's more good news too.  He also said that there is a board-approved buyer interested.  He's willing to keep all the employees and board members on, not change the organizational structure, and basically just let them keep running things the way they are with just a few changes--namely doing some major PR campaigning to actively improve the reputation of the company, which is something that they really need."

"That would be awesome," I agreed.  "Are you ready to sell?"

"I am," he replied.  "I'm ready to close the door on that chapter of my life and move on.  So I'm flying down there tomorrow afternoon.  I hope I'll be back Friday, but it might be Saturday."

"Okay," I said, a little disappointed.  I don't like having the bed to myself that much.

"We can spend Sunday doing a little wedding planning, if you want," Brody suggested.  "Otherwise we're going to very quickly run out of time."  I agreed.  We chatted for a few more minutes, then I let him get back to work.  I decided to head to the gym instead of straight home (always keep a fully stocked gym bag in your car to take advantage of impulses!) and after my workout I was starving, so I stopped and picked up a sandwich instead of going home to cook for myself.

Once I made it home, I laid on the couch to watch some of my DVRed shows that Brody teased me for watching (I don't know why, Real Housewives is quality entertainment).  I grabbed my laptop and started making a list of things that needed to happen in order for us to have a wedding in less than 3 months.  I put the obvious ones down first, like: find DJ (band?), find photographer, flowers?, invitations (soon!!!), someone to do ceremony, bridesmaids dresses?, rings, tuxes (suits?).  Then I put the smaller tasks: plan menu, ceremony music?, first dance?, centerpieces/decorations, vows, timeline (evening?), shoes, jewelry,

I stopped abruptly, completely overwhelmed.  For wanting to do a small wedding, there was still so much to do, and planning events was not something I was good at.  I reached for my phone and called Lauren.  "Help me!" I whined into the phone when she answered.

"Help you do what?" she responded, confused.

"I just made a list of all the things I think I need to do for this wedding and I'm overwhelmed and I probably forgot things and I don't know how to do any of it and this wedding is going to be a disaster and--"

"Olivia!  Shut up for a second," Lauren commanded, interrupting my panicked ramblings.  "I will help you, but you need to knock that panicky shit off or you'll drive me up the wall."  Appropriately rebuked, I was silent.  "Thank you.  Okay, why don't you come over after happy hour on Thursday and we'll make a plan and get things organized.  Also, while I have you on the phone, my mom told me over the weekend that she'll do your invitations if you want her to.  We just have to let her know if you want her to, and get her all the info."

"That would be amazing!" I said excitedly.  "I miss your mom.  I'm bummed I didn't get to chat with her a little more last weekend."

"Well, you're in luck!  Since we changed our tickets to come out for your party, my mom is going to come here for her birthday."

"Really? That's exciting!" I replied.  After we hung up, I saved and closed my lists.  All they were doing was stressing me out.  Instead, I browsed the internet, looking at wedding pictures to try to get inspired.  I actually found a few things I liked, mostly photograph inspiration and some ideas for flowers--because despite my insistence on a small, not very traditional wedding, I did still want a lot of the typical wedding elements.

I browsed photos online and half paid attention to the TV until I got sleepy, then headed up to bed.  I was just getting settled into the middle of the bed when my phone vibrated.  I grabbed it, and saw it was Brody, so I answered.  "Hello?" I was a little worried that something was wrong, because it was fairly late in Chicago.

"Hey, I didn't wake you up, did I?" he asked.  I told him he hadn't, and that I was just going to bed.  "Good, then I have good timing.  I just called to say goodnight.  I miss you."

"You're ridiculous," I teased him, even though I missed him too.  Now that we lived together, it was weird spending multiple nights apart.  "But I'm glad you called."  We chatted for a few minutes and then said goodnight.


It was amazing how much more pleasant my work days were when I didn't have to try to avoid Josh.  I had a great day on Wednesday and went to the gym again after work.  I called Kinsley to check in and see if she wanted to join me, but she didn't answer.  When I got home, I made a quick dinner and cleaned the bathrooms.  I had so much more energy after work when I good days.  It also helped to not have Brody home to make me not want to do productive things.

By the time I got to happy hour on Thursday, I was in a great mood, even though I did miss Brody.  I chatted happily with Alex as we waited for everyone else to get there.  "So, I feel like I'm probably supposed to ask you how wedding plans are coming," Alex joked.  "That's all you'll hear for the next 3 months, right?"

"Right, and then after that, it will probably be 'When are you having all the babies?!'" I replied.  "Please, if you don't ever ask me how wedding planning is going, these next 3 months will be much easier on all of us."

"That's fine," he teased.  "I'll just ask Brody instead.  I'm sure he'll say, 'It's going great, I think we're almost done.'  Meanwhile, you'll be panicking and killing yourself to try to get everything done in time.  That's pretty much how it worked with Christian and Kendra."

"I actually think he's more organized than I am," I admitted.  "So you might be wrong.  We'll see, I guess!"  Lauren arrived and thankfully did not want to talk wedding, since we were going to be doing that tonight.  Kinsley came shortly after, but after saying hi to us and asking me to explain her current relationship issues to Lauren, she disappeared.

"I think I'm going to go check on Kinsley," Lauren said, about 15 minutes after Kinsley had gone up to the bar to get a drink.  We nodded and continued our conversation as she walked over towards the other side of the room where the bar was.

When she came back, she was Kinsley-less and frowning.  "Is everything okay?" I asked.

"She's talking to some guy," Lauren said, shrugging.  "I...don't think we're going to see much of her tonight."

"Should we be worried?" I asked.

"She's going to do whatever she's going to do, regardless of what we do, so it's probably in everyone's best interest if we mind our own business."  I wasn't a huge fan of that plan, but Lauren knew Kinsley better than I did.  I figured I'd check on her when I went up to the bar to get a glass of water a little while later, but I didn't see her anywhere.

Kendra, who had arrived with Christian while Lauren was checking on Kinsley, volunteered to join us for our wedding planning meeting.  We gladly accepted, thankful for someone with actual wedding experience to help.  Lauren was a master planner, but knew very little about weddings, aside from invitations.

We left happy hour by 6:30, picked up some takeout, and headed to Lauren's house.  I showed them a picture of my dress, which even Lauren got excited about.  "It's perfect," she said excitedly.  "I love it."

"I think that's exactly what I said," I replied with a laugh.  Then I pulled out my laptop and brought up the restaurant's website and found some photos in a Google image search.

"Wow," Kendra said, clicking through the photos.  "This room is amazing.  You could do so many things with decorations if you wanted to."

"But you don't even need to," Lauren pointed out.  "The room is awesome on its own."

"What are you thinking for colors?" Kendra asked.

"Ummm..." I paused.  I had no idea.  I hadn't even thought about it.  "I don't know.  Do I have to have colors?"

"You should at least have a loose color scheme to help guide things like dresses, linens, invitations, all that stuff," Kendra explained patiently.  "Otherwise it will end up a jumbled mess."

"Oh."  I was glad she was here.  "I don't know.  I don't want the usual fall colors--I do know that."  Kendra googled "fall wedding colors" and asked me to scroll through the images and see if I liked anything.  I scrolled through, wrinkling my nose at all the burgundy and orange and gold.  It was all beautiful, but not my style.  "Ooh," I said suddenly, stopping and pointing at the screen.  "I like that!  Except without the bright orange flowers."  Kendra spun the laptop towards her and Lauren and they inspected someone's wedding photo with the bridesmaids wearing a deep purple.

"Here, may I?" Kendra asked.  I handed her the laptop.  She typed a few things, scrolled, typed again, and scrolled.  She had the laptop in her hands for what seemed like forever, then she turned it back towards me.  "What do you think?"

She had put together a collage of photos and colors.  There was the photo with the plum colored bridesmaid dresses, another with a bouquet of peach and pink flowers and green succulents, blocks of lavender, plum, peach, and gray, men in gray suits, ivory tables with plum runners, and dark purple shoes.  "I love it," I said in surprise.  "Except the gray.  I don't like the gray.  What about tan?"

Kendra took the laptop back and in a couple minutes handed it back.  The gray block was replaced with a light taupe, and the men in gray were gone, replaced with men in tan suits.  "Yes!" I exclaimed.  "That's perfect."  Kendra smiled proudly.

"Anything in mind for bridesmaid dresses?" Lauren asked.  She was on her own laptop, clicking away.

"I don't care," I replied.  "Whatever you and Lynn want is fine."  She showed me a few options and I nodded along.  "Seriously, just find something you both like and I'm good with it," I said finally.  I liked all the dresses she showed me just fine, and I trusted their judgment.

We spent the next hour going over the lists I'd made and adding things to them.  Lauren and Kendra collaborated to prioritize the tasks on them and make me a rough timeline of when I needed to get things done.  For most of them, the timeframe was "as soon as fucking possible, because you're getting married in less than three months."  Kendra gave me the information for her photographer, because I loved her wedding photos, and she said that her cousin had used a band that was in Colorado Springs, and they'd been really good.  She promised to get me the information, and any other recommendations her cousin had, as Colorado Springs was much closer than Denver to our venue.

By the time I got home that evening, I was feeling much calmer about planning.  Having a set plan helped.  I'd just needed someone to help me get organized.  I was definitely thankful for Lauren and Kendra's help.