Alex: The Morning After

Ask and you shall receive!  Also, I'm working on a Liv bonus post too.  No promises, but I hope to get it up on Sunday for you guys.  I hope all my US readers had a wonderful Thanksgiving!
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"Does Lauren get a lot of headaches?" my mom asked curiously, once Lauren was upstairs.  "She didn't look well at all."

"She gets migraines every once in awhile," I replied.  And she might also sometimes fakes migraines to get out of things she doesn't want to do, I added bitterly in my head.  I immediately felt guilty for even thinking that she might be faking her headache, but I also knew she didn't like hanging out with my parents.

"Well, I hope that she can get some sleep and that she feels better in the morning.  It would be such a shame for her to not feel well on your last full day here."  My mom's irritation at us from the day before seemed to be gone and she sounded sincere.  I nodded and followed her into the living room where my dad was sitting.

The rest of our evening was really nice, actually.  It was good to catch up with my parents a little, and honestly I was a little relieved to not have to worry about Lauren being uncomfortable.

I went up to bed around 11, trying to slip quietly into our room so I didn't wake Lauren up.  I was surprised to find her still awake, and in a nasty mood to boot.  What followed was easily the worst argument we'd ever had, and in addition to being mad at the things she was saying, I was embarrassed that she was acting like such a brat at my parents' house.  Luckily, once I ended the conversation, it didn't take me long to fall asleep.

When I woke up, I wasn't angry anymore.  Instead, I felt anxious.  I knew Lauren would still be angry when she woke up.  I hated fighting with her, and fighting with her about my family was even worse.  I slipped carefully out of bed, hoping to avoid the inevitable conflict for as long as possible.

"Good morning, sweetheart," my mom greeted me warmly when I walked into the kitchen.  She poured me a cup of coffee and I yawned as I sat down at the kitchen table.

"Morning," I replied.  I gratefully accepted the coffee when she handed it to me.  She sat down and regarded me carefully.

"Weren't Henry and Carolyn just lovely?" she asked, after I had taken a sip of the coffee.  

"Yeah, they were nice," I agreed.  

"Carolyn is so beautiful," she said wistfully.  She looked at me expectantly, but I didn't reply.  "Don't you think?" she prodded.

"She's certainly not ugly," I said carefully.  

My mom smiled. "Lauren is pretty, of course, but she's a little plain."

"What?" I asked, surprised.  

"The blonde hair and brown eye thing is so overdone," my mom complained.  "Carolyn's beauty is unique."

"Lauren is gorgeous," I protested.  I had no idea what else to say.  

"And Carolyn is so smart," my mom continued, not paying any attention to me.  "A pediatric oncology nurse...can you imagine?"

"Lauren is an engineer," I said defensively.  I suddenly felt possessed to defend the hell out of Lauren.  I also got the terrible feeling that Lauren had been right last night.

"But does that really help people?" my mom asked disdainfully.

"Of course it does," I replied.  "She--"

"And Carolyn comes from such a nice, upstanding family," she interrupted.  "Henry is widowed, can you even believe it?  How terrible."

"Is there a problem with Lauren's family?" I asked, agitated.  

"Well, I mean, her parents were never even married," my mom said with distaste.  "It's just no wonder she's turned out the way she is."

"The way she is?" I parroted.  "You need to stop.  I love Lauren, and I don't appreciate this bullshit."

"Watch your mouth, Alexander," she cautioned me.  "Do you really want to marry someone that hasn't had a good marriage modeled for her?  That poor girl probably learned from her mother than she should be independent and make her own decisions without regard to what other people think.  She'll never be able to see you as an equal.  She's already a bit too bossy, don't you think?"

"No!" I exclaimed.  "I don't!  You're right though--Lauren is independent and doesn't care what other people think.  And I like that about her.  This is fucked.  I'm not going to sit and let you insult my girlfriend and her family.  I love her, and she's right upstairs, for fuck's sake."

My mom frowned.  "Don't you talk to me like that."  

"Then stop disrespecting Lauren."

"Look, Alex," my mom said, her voice suddenly kind again.  "I just want you to be happy."

"I am happy!" I snapped.  "I plan to spend the rest of my life with Lauren, whether you like it or not.  If you'd stop being so goddamned snobby for 5 seconds, you'd realize that Lauren is everything I've ever wanted.  But you don't give a shit about what I want; you just want me to marry someone that will make you look good!"

"You're so dramatic," my mom replied, rolling her eyes.  "Of course I want you to be happy, sweetheart.  But I think you'll be so much happier with someone like Carolyn, don't you?  Carolyn would never emasculate you."

"No!" I yell, standing up.  "I don't think I'll be so much happier with someone like Carolyn!  I'm happy, and I might have fucked it up by trusting you over her.  She knew exactly what you were doing.  I can't believe this.  And Lauren doesn't emasculate me...Jesus."

"You're being ridiculous," my mom said.  "Would you sit down?"

"What's going on?" my dad asked, appearing in the doorway.  

"Your son is being dramatic," my mom replied, standing to get him some coffee.

"Your wife is being a bitch," I say coolly.  

Both of my parents' heads snap towards me and my dad frowns angrily.  "Don't you talk about your mother like that," he said.

"I won't," I replied.  "I'm going to go upstairs, pack my shit, wake up my girlfriend, and leave.  I can't even look at you guys right now.  Stay the hell out of my way."  With that, I stormed upstairs.  I stopped outside the door to the guest room to collect myself before I woke Lauren up.  When I felt a little calmer, I quietly opened the door.

Lauren didn't stir, so I took a few minutes to pack my stuff up.  Then I looked over at her suitcase.  It looked like it had exploded, even though we'd only be here for 36 hours.  I carefully folded all her clothes and tucked them back into the suitcase, then went into the bathroom and gathered my stuff and the stuff I was sure was hers.

Finally, I sat carefully on the edge of the bed and stroked Lauren's hair.  She stirred but didn't wake up.  I carefully pushed a few stray pieces out of her face.  The brief smile that flitted across her lips gave me hope, but as soon as her eyes opened it went away.  I talked fast, hoping she'd at least hear what I had to say before she went off on me.

I gave her some space to get ready, and I could tell she was still mad.  My parents were nowhere to be seen as we walked down the stairs and outside, and I was relieved.  I wanted nothing to do with them right now, and I definitely didn't want to subject Lauren to them at this moment.

Lauren was silent the entire drive and all the way to our room.  Finally, when I couldn't stand the silence anymore, I said, "You're still angry."  I'm not a big enough idiot to ask her what was wrong or if she was okay.  I knew damn well that she was not okay and what was wrong.

Her calm, thoughtful response scares me.  As much as I hate how Lauren fights, I at least know what to expect and how to navigate it.  I have no idea what to do with this suddenly rational woman in front of me.  It's out of the ordinary and it makes me worry about our relationship for the first time since Logan's text popped up on her phone.  Even so, I quickly agree to give her the space she needs.  If this is a new thing she's trying out, I want to encourage it.

I leave the hotel and wander around downtown Savannah, looking for a place to get something to eat and some more coffee.  I finally found a place where I didn't feel like an idiot by myself.  It was hipster as hell, but they had some really amazing French toast and excellent coffee.  I took my time, trying to not play out possible conversations with Lauren in my head.  When I finished, I wandered around some more.  I went into a few random shops to procrastinate a little more and finally stopped at a little cafe where I grabbed some breakfast and coffee for Lauren.

Finally, I headed back towards the hotel, ready to try to fix this disaster.

(Now) Lauren/Alex: Lessons in Being Spontaneous

Lauren

“What do you want to do today?” Alex asks me.

I throw my arm over my face to block out the bright sun that my blinds aren’t stopping.  “I hate when you ask me that,” I grumble, rolling over.

He chuckles.  “Well, I guess we should start with you going back to sleep, because it’s clearly too early for you.”  I grunt in response.  “Okay, well I’m getting up.  Maybe I’ll think of something to do while I’m waiting for you to sleep the day away.” 

“Noooo,” I whine.  Have I ever mentioned that I am the furthest thing ever from a morning person?  I’m awful in the morning.  I feel bad for anyone that has to deal with me in the morning.  “Stay with me.”

Now he groans.  “I can’t lay here all morning like you can, Laur,” he says gently. 

“I’ll make it worth your while,” I solicit him.

“Oh, really?” he asks.  Of course that gets his attention.  He snuggles up against me, running his hand up my leg.

“In an hour,” I finish. 

He groans again, but stays pressed against me.  “Fine, you have one hour.  I’m timing it.”  I relax against him and smile sleepily to myself, knowing he'll never actually time it.  

Sure enough, when I open my eyes again and reach for my phone to check the time, it's almost an hour and a half later and Alex is sound asleep next to me.  I turn over carefully, and he stirs but doesn't open his eyes.  I slide my hand over his hip and stroke him through his shorts.  He stirs again, rolling onto his back.  "Wake up and take these off," I say, continuing on my mission.  

"Mmm, okay," he mumbles.  Without opening his eyes, he manages to push his shorts down his hips and kicks them away.  "You're so bossy," he adds.  I pause briefly and he opens one eye.  "What?  I didn't say it was a bad thing.  I'm not awake.  Don't believe anything I say."  I continue and he shuts his eye again as his hand slides up my leg.  "Why do you have clothes on?"  I stop what I'm doing to pull my shorts off and shift one leg so he can have better access.  I sigh as his hand moves back up my leg and makes it harder for me to concentrate on what I'm doing.  He has no more complaints once I move to get on top of him.

He's more than happy to keep laying in bed when we're finished, which I find amusing.  He presses his face against my hair and inhales, then says, "Lauren, I..."  I don't prompt him to continue, because I'm not sure if I want him to.  "I'm glad I stayed," he finishes after a long pause, leaving me to imagine what he was originally planning on saying.  I decided to not acknowledge it.  

"Me too," I agree.  "Now I can go back to sleep again."

"No!" Alex protests.  "You have to get up now.  It's been way more than an hour!"

"Relax," I tell him, rolling my eyes.  "I'm just kidding."  I roll away from him and stretch, then sit up.  I feel and hear Alex doing the same on his side of the bed.

"Share the shower?" he asks.  I never would have pegged Alex for the shower-sharing type but he actually would rather shower with me than us shower separately.  It's sort of weird for me but I try to indulge him.

"Yeah," I reply, standing and walking towards his bathroom.

We decide to go get lunch and see a movie.  After the movie, we stop at a local park and walk around on the paths for awhile.  "I wonder if Liv and Brody are having fun in Mexico," Alex muses as we walk.

"I can't imagine that they're not," I reply.  "I'm sure they're sad that they have to come back tomorrow."

"We should go somewhere soon," Alex suggests.

I consider this.  "Like where?  I need to plan pretty far ahead to use my vacation time."

"What if we went somewhere nearby, for the weekend?" he asks.  "We could go soon."

"If I don't have to take off work we can go whenever you want," I reply.

"Okay," he says.  "We'll plan something."

He doesn't bring it up again and I forget about it.  It's not until Tuesday when he says, "I booked us a room for this weekend," that I even realize he was serious about it.

"This weekend?" I squeak.  "Like, the weekend that is 3 days away?"

He grins.  "Yes, the weekend that is 3 days away," he confirms.  "Let's be spontaneous.  I promise it won't hurt."  I look at him skeptically.  Spontaneous is not in my vocabulary, and he knows this.  I have no idea what to say, but I know I should be grateful.  "Relax," he says gently, sliding an arm around my waist and brushing his thumb across my cheekbone before he kisses me softly.  "It'll be fun, I promise."

Of course, being me, I insist he at least tell me where we're going and where we're staying.  He's booked us a room at a lodge in the mountains with a spa and golf course and horses to ride on the trails.  I have to say that this maybe decreases my anxiety just a hair and increases my excitement.  But just a little.

Alex

I knew Lauren would hate me for booking the last minute trip.  What I didn't know was that she'd keep her mouth shut about how much she hated it.  I was actually impressed.  She was clearly completely thrown off but she took it fairly well.

I hadn't actually been planning on booking it for this weekend, but there was one room left so I figured I'd go for it.  I had been wanting a weekend away for awhile, and the weekend at Brody's cabin hadn't exactly been the relaxing weekend I was hoping for.  I booked the whole weekend carefully, leaving no room for Lauren's controlling tendencies to take over.  I spent a lot of time on the phone, making sure it was perfect.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Lauren asks.

I chuckle.  "Honestly?  I'm making sure I'm ready if you decide to throw something at me for springing this on you."

She makes a face and says wryly, "You know me so well.  But I wouldn't risk that pretty face of yours. I'm far more likely to do this."  She sends her fist flying at my chest, and I catch it easily in my hand.

"Pretty face, huh?" I tease.  "That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

Her other fist flies at my shoulder, and I catch that one as well.  Neither fist came at me particularly hard, and I see a hint of the smile she's fighting.  "You're lucky," she says, trying to pull her fists out of my grip.

I quickly shift my hands so I'm holding her wrists, and I cock an eyebrow curiously at her.  "Am I?"

"Yes, you're the only person who could possibly get away with this."

I tug gently on her wrists, pulling her closer to me.  "And why is that?  How am I so lucky?"   This question throws her off, and I watch her face carefully.

"Must be that pretty face," she replies eventually.

"Hmmm, I was hoping it was my unparalleled skills in the bedroom," I toss back with a smirk.

"Unparalleled?" she snorts.  "Good word, pretty boy."

I pull her closer still, and she's now practically in my lap.  I give her a mock wounded look and say, "Hey, I think you of all people should know that pretty and smart aren't mutually exclusive."

"Mmm."  She nods in agreement.  "You're on a roll, brainiac."

I laugh.  I love the way she flirts.  Some people would probably hate it, and to others it might sound like we're being rude to each other, but this has always been the way we work.  I'm glad it hasn't changed now that we're actually together.  Our banter is seamless, and I often can't remember who started it.  It wouldn't be quite as great if we weren't able to be serious, but I think we balance that well.

She interrupts my thoughts by saying, "Are you just going to keep holding on to my wrists and chatting me up, or are you going to do something useful with your perceived power?"  She's smirking at me and it's hot.

I shift my weight and quickly have her on her back, wrists pinned at her sides.  "What's that you were saying about 'perceived power'?" I ask, raising my eyebrows and looking down at her.

She tests my grip and quickly realizes she's stuck.  "Now what, pretty boy?" she asks.

"Now you get to enjoy my unparalleled skills in the bedroom," I reply.  I adjust my grip on her wrists and move them so they're over her head and I'm better balanced.

"We're not in the bedroom," she points out.  She starts to say something else but it quickly turns into a hiss of pleasure as my mouth finds the spot on her throat that turns her legs to jello.

"What was that?" I ask, gently scraping my teeth across her collarbone.

"Shut up," she snaps, wrapping one leg around me and pulling me tighter against her.  I'm glad to comply.

Lauren

I have to admit that the lodge that Alex had chosen is gorgeous.  The room is spacious and nicely decorated, and the bathroom is huge.  Once I resign myself to being spontaneous, I'm able to relax a little bit.  Kind of defeats the purpose of being spontaneous, but that's exactly the point.

"Well?" he asks, coming up behind me.  He pulls my hair back from my face and and combs it over my shoulder with his fingers, then massages my neck.

"It's beautiful," I say.  Alex's fingers work their way from the base of my skull down to my shoulders.  I sigh softly and enjoy the massage.  He keeps going, his hands moving down my spine.  I groan when his thumbs press into the muscles of my lower back.

"It's a good thing I booked us a couples massage for tomorrow morning," Alex says.  "You need it."

"That's because being spontaneous is stressful," I point out.  "A massage sounds really good though.  What else do you have planned?"

He wraps his hands around my waist and kisses my shoulder.  "You'll find out in good time."

I groan again and lean back against him.  "You're cruel, and I don't appreciate it."

He chuckles and suggests we go get some dinner.  That's a plan I can appreciate.  We head down to the lodge's restaurant and are quickly settled into a corner table.  Our meal is good and I loosen up more and more as the evening goes on.  I mean, the bottle of wine we share doesn't hurt either.

"You look beautiful, by the way," Alex says, as we're finishing our meal.  I can't help it, I laugh.  He gives me a look.

"I'm sorry," I say contritely.  (And contrite is not something that I am very often.)  "Thank you.  I didn't mean to laugh, it's just that sometimes it still feels weird to hear you say things like that."

He shrugs and takes a sip of his wine, eyeing me over the rim of the glass.  When he draws it away from his lips, he smiles and says, "It doesn't feel weird to say it."

I keep a straight face but melt a little inside.  I love how confident he is about this.  Not to say that I have doubts, because despite my overwhelming fear of everything commitment, and my anxiety to lose my friendship with Alex, this has probably been one of the best decisions I've ever made.  When Liv pointed out that having a solid friendship with Alex would only help things, as he already knew what I was like and knew my quirks (ha, that's putting it lightly), I thought she was crazy.  But it's turned out to be true.  That fight we'd had over our relationship status?  Probably could have been a relationship ender with someone that didn't get me.  With Alex, it was just a bump in the road.  I smile, thinking about the strange relief I had felt when I had called Alex after that fight and told him I was done being crazy and wanted to make our relationship official.

"What are you thinking about?" Alex inquires curiously.  He's watching me, his long fingers resting lightly on his fork, which is sitting against his plate, waiting patiently.

"Nothing," I reply hurriedly, grabbing my fork and taking a bite of my dinner to ward off any more questions.  He nods, clearly not believing me, but not pushing me either.  "This is really good."

"It is," he agrees, an amused smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

After we finish our dinner and our wine (which I realize Alex only had one glass of, what is he trying to do, get me drunk?) we head back to the room.  Alex had quickly declined our server's offer of dessert when he came to take our plates away, which was interesting.  He usually gives me the choice.  When we get to the room, Alex asks, "Do you have a jacket or sweatshirt?"

"Of course I do," I scoff.  "I knew we were going into the mountains.  Lucky for me, you allowed me that bit of information, so I could pack accordingly."

He just laughs and says, "Good, grab it."  He eyes my bare legs and adds, "You might want to change into pants too."

"Where are we going?" I ask, knowing he isn't going to tell me.  He smiles and points towards my suitcase.  I huff out an exasperated breath but follow his directions even though I don't like this.  I have no control, I have no idea what we're doing, and the whole situation is enough to send my anxiety through the roof.

After I change and grab my jacket, Alex takes my phone out of my hand and throws it on the bed.  I've had about enough and I open my mouth to protest.  Alex silences me with one finger against my lips.  His other hand pushes a wayward piece of hair out of my face and then rests against my jaw and neck.  "Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do," I say immediately, feeling guilty for being so worked up about this. I bring my hand up and gently grip Alex's forearm, keeping his hand against my skin.

"Good," he replies, smiling.  "This isn't a big deal, we're just going on a little field trip.  I know this entire trip is pushing you out of your comfort zone, but don't let this small outing push you over the edge."  I nod, my anxiety easing slightly.  My need to be in control still nags at me and I unconsciously tighten my grip on Alex's forearm.  "We can be back in an hour, if you want.  And if you really, really don't want to go, we don't have to."  His concerned eyes study my face as I bite my lip.  I realize that I have no idea what I'm so worried about, and that Alex wouldn't plan anything crazy.

"I'm sorry," I say finally.  "I'm fine, I don't know why I'm being so ridiculous.  Let's go."  He grins and kisses me, a soft, lingering kiss that makes my pulse pick up slightly.

We walk out of our room and down the hall hand in hand, and I'm now less anxious and more curious about what he has planned.  When we get outside, we walk up to a black Jeep that's idling near the front door.  I know better than to ask, because I know I won't get an answer, so I just follow Alex.  Alex opens the back door for me and I get in and slide over and he follows.  "We good?" he asks the young man behind the wheel.

"We're good," he replies with a grin.

"Alright, let's go then," Alex commands.  The Jeep pulls away from the lodge and turns down a rutted dirt road.  We drive up into the mountains, in the car for over 15 minutes.  Alex reaches for my hand,  and I take it, shivering as he runs his thumb across my palm.  When we finally stop, the driver gets out, pulls open my door and lets me out, then opens the back and leans in to grab something.  He hands a large bag to Alex and they confer quietly for half a minute before the driver gets back in, turns around, and heads down the road.

I eye the bag suspiciously in the growing darkness and look towards the receding tail lights.   "You could have just killed me in Denver.  You didn't need to go through all this trouble," I quip, trying to lessen my anxiety with a joke.

Alex clicks a small halogen lantern on and spreads a blanket on the ground.  I continue to watch him, my anxiety growing again.  He grabs my hand and pulls me over to him, asks me to sit, and pulls some more things out of the bag.  Out comes a bottle and a small box.  Then glasses and forks.  He pours from the bottle into a glass and hands it to me.  I take an experimental sip.  Sparkling wine...a very good one, at that.  "Mmm, thank you," I say softly.  My voice feels incredibly loud out here.  "Umm, is he...gone?" I ask finally.

Alex chuckles, and I jump.  "Sorry, no.  He just went back down the road a little way to give us some privacy."  He pours his own glass of wine, then hands me a fork and opens the box.  "Dessert," he explains.  I look into the little box and see a variety of delicious looking tiny cakes and tarts.  The man is a keeper, even if he had to drag me out into the wilderness to feed me.

"Why are we having dessert here?" I ask.

"You and your questions," he responds, but he moves a little closer to me and points.  "Look up."

I do, and I blink in surprise as I noticed the stars.  I can't believe I hadn't noticed them sooner, but I was so wrapped up in trying to figure out what we were doing and if I should be worried.  "Holy shit," I breathe.

"Yeah," he agrees.  "We don't have stars like this in Denver.  That's why I couldn't just kill you in Denver.  You'll have a better view here with your last breaths.  You're welcome."

I can't help but smile and I lean over and kiss him on the cheek.  "I'm sorry I'm such a pain," I say.  "It's amazing out here."  I look up again, and Alex points out that it's dark enough that we can even see the Milky Way.  "I can't even see the Milky Way in the middle of nowhere in Wisconsin," I admit, appropriately impressed.

"You like it?" he asks, and I realize that despite his outward confidence, he's worried too--but for a different reason.

"I love it," I reply.  I lean towards him and kiss him.  His hand finds its way into my hair and holds me there, kissing me back deeply.  When we break apart, before I can even process what's happening, I whisper, "And I love you."


Alex

I don't say anything at first, because I'm not sure I heard her correctly.  Then, by the light of the small lamp I'd had the kid from the lodge bring, I see the panicked look on her face, and I realize I definitely heard her correctly.  This is not something I'd planned on happening, but it's certainly a pleasant surprise.

"Um, I mean..." Lauren is trying to do damage control, but she really threw herself off.  I realize part of what's throwing her off is the fact that I haven't responded yet.

"Lauren, I love you too," I say, as soon as I realize that it's been an uncomfortable amount of time since the words came out her mouth.  (But really, with a first "I love you" any amount of time without a response over a nanosecond is uncomfortable.)

"You...you do?" she stutters.  Lauren is completely out of her element--on a last minute trip that she didn't plan, on a nighttime activity that she had no control over, and now saying words that are absolutely terrifying to her.  As much as I hate to see her uncomfortable, her vulnerability at this moment is endearing, and I feel a surge of protectiveness and fondness.

I set my wine glass to the side and carefully pry her fingers--which are hanging on for dear life--off of hers, setting it aside with mine.  I slide over to her and wrap both arms around her.  "Of course I do," I respond.  "Lauren, I've been in love with you since college."

She pulls away and looks at me in shock.  "You have?" she asks, her voice shrill and sharp in the quiet darkness.

"Shhh," I say gently, a finger on her lips.  "Yes, I have."

"But why haven't you said anything?" she demands, but in a voice much better suited for our surroundings.

I can't help it, I laugh.  She's glaring at me, and it's so Lauren-like for her to be angry that I feel the same way she does.  "What would you have done if I had?" I ask reasonably.

She frowns, considering this, then answers honestly, "Freaked out, probably.  Just like I have every other time I wasn't ready."

"Yes," I agree.  "Aside from me wanting to define our relationship, this has all moved at your pace.  I've waited this long, I was ready to keep waiting as long as you needed me to.  I promised not to push you into anything you didn't want.  Spontaneous weekend trips don't count, of course."

"You've really been in love with me since college?" she asks, and her voice is close to a whisper again.  She looks confused.  "I'm that clueless?"

"You're brilliant," I argue.  "You're just not always the best at reading people."  I fight my smile, but when I see hers, I let it happen.

"Did you plan all this to make me tell you I love you?" she asks, suddenly suspicious.

I gave her my best 'are you kidding me?' look.  "No, Laur, of course I didn't.  I'm just as surprised by it as you are.  I planned all this because I wanted to spend a relaxing weekend with you, I wanted to show you that it could be fun to be spontaneous.  And I wanted to show you that I care about you."

"Well, I knew that," she replies, softening again.  "This could have all backfired horribly, you know," she continues, and she's smiling again.

"I know," I agree.  "It was a risk I was willing to take."  She shivers and I become aware of the chill in the air.  She doesn't even protest as I take off my jacket and wrap it around her shoulders.  We're done talking for now, and we enjoy a comfortable silence as we drink our wine and finish our dessert.

When the dessert is gone and I've poured two more glasses of wine, I move to sit behind her and pull her back against me.  With her back resting against my chest and my arm wrapped tightly around her, we're both warmer.  We talk about the stars, each of us pointing out constellations that we know.  We can't remember most of the legends that go with them, so we make up our own.  They get more and more ridiculous as we go, and soon we're wiping tears of laughter from our cheeks.

Finally, we decide we'd better get back.  I text our driver, hoping he hasn't gotten bored and driven back to the lodge.  He appears in minutes and we settle in for the drive back.  I thank the kid and slip him the cash we'd agreed on, plus an extra $20, and Lauren and I head back inside.

"Well," she says as we get in the elevator.  She's smirking and she tucks herself against my side, under my arm.  "Did this work out the way you planned it?"

I tilt her head up and kiss her.  "Better," I reply, when I finally break away.  "Much better."

(Now) Alex: The Date

Sorry again for the delay on this.  Thank you all so much for understanding and for all your kind thoughts and words!  I know I keep saying this, but I really do think I have the best readers.

Speaking of readers, sometime between today and Monday this blog is going to hit 300,000 views.  This is just insane to me.  So of course, we're going to celebrate, which means a post every day this week!  Thank you all so much for reading.
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I spent an awful lot of time trying to think up a fancy, elaborate date before my senses came back to me and I realized that Lauren would hate a fancy, elaborate date.  Once that happened, I breathed a sigh of relief and made a reservation at a casual restaurant with great food and a good selection of wine and craft beer.  It was right around the corner from one of Lauren's favorite wine bars, so we could go there after if she wanted to.

I wanted to talk someone about it, because it was all weird and I was stupidly nervous.  Normally my go-to in this situation would be Brody, but if I didn't want any of it getting back to Lauren, I probably shouldn't talk to her best friend's boyfriend.  There was always Christian, but while Lauren and Kendra weren't as close as they used to be, there was still a chance.  I decided I could use some more objective advice anyway, and on Sunday I sent a text message to Kevin, asking if he wanted to come over and watch some football with me.

It was kind of a long shot, because Kevin and I haven't really hung out without Brody before, so I was surprised when he agreed. He came over about an hour later and we got settled on my couch with beer.  "So, what's going on?" Kevin asked curiously.

I gave him a weird look.  "What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well since you've never invited me over to watch football before, or do anything really, I assume you need something."

Perceptive fucker.  "No..." I started, but when he made a skeptical face, I changed my mind.  "Well, I'm going out with Lauren on Tuesday."

"Lauren?" he replied.  He looked confused at first, but after thinking for a second, he nodded.  "I like it.  She's hot."  Well, she's a lot more than that, but I nodded my agreement.  "So what's the problem?"

I gave him a rundown on the situation.  Our background, the strange turn things took at the wedding, and how things have been since.  "So, even though this is definitely what I want, I'm worried about it going wrong and really fucking things up," I admitted, finally.

"I think you guys have enough of a history, and have enough respect for each other, that if things start to go downhill, you'll get out before you destroy your friendship.  Or you'll know right away that it's not going to work and you'll back off.  You've got to try though, man.  I mean, if she doesn't date, and she wants to date you, that seems like it means something."

"It does," I agreed miserably.  "That's what makes me nervous."  Kevin had a point though, and it actually did make me feel a little better.  We watched the games and drank beer for the rest of the day, and it was actually pretty cool hanging out with Kevin.  I might even do it again sometime.

Monday at work was busy, and I was thankful for the distraction from thinking about going out with Lauren.  Tuesday wasn't as busy, and I was off my game to the point that a coworker actually called me out.  I was fully aware of the fact that I was being stupid about it, but there was nothing I could do.  Luckily, after being called out, I was able to focus a bit better and finished out the day okay.

When I got home, I took a quick shower and pulled some clothes out of my closet.  Or, really, out of the laundry basket sitting on the floor in front of my closet.  They were clean, I just hate putting clothes away.  Most of them ended up on the floor as I rifled through before I shook my head at myself and just picked something. 

I saw Liv's car disappearing out of other entrance of the parking lot at Lauren's apartment complex as I pulled in.  I wondered if Lauren was just as nervous as I was, and for some reason that made me feel a lot better.  I made sure my phone was on silent (most people don't do that anymore, but I think it's a dick move for your phone to ring while you're on a date), took a deep breath, and got out of my car.

I pressed the button for Lauren's apartment and the door buzzed immediately.  When I got up to her apartment, her door opened before I could even knock.  "Hi," she said, smiling almost shyly.

"Hi," I replied.  We both just stood there for a second.  She looked...different.  Amazing, but different.  After a second, I realized she had more makeup on than usual.  It wasn't super obvious, but when you've spent as many hours looking at Lauren's face as I have, you notice things.  "You look nice," I said, and she cocked one eyebrow at me.  "I mean, beautiful.  You do."  Are you kidding me?  Don't leave me now brain, I need you.

Lauren chuckled and rolled her eyes.  "You look beautiful too, idiot.  Let's go."  Her sassy comment actually made me calm down a little more, but I still felt weird.  Was I supposed to hug her?  Kiss her?  She took that option away from me by turning and walking down the hall.  Well, alright.

She paused several steps away from me and turned back.  "Are you coming, or am I going on a date by myself?"

"Wouldn't be much of a date by yourself, would it?" I replied, and she grinned.  She waited for me to catch up and slid her hand into mine.  That simple act managed to simultaneously make things feel like a real date, and really weird.  But I liked it.

When we got out to my car, I pulled her door open for her.  She cocked her head at me and raised her eyebrows.  "Now this I could get used to," she said.  And then I waited for her to get settled before I shut the door.  And I waited.  Why do girls take so long to get into the car?  Get in, sit down, put your damned seatbelt on, done.  Girls get in, sit down, smooth their skirts, fix their shoes, fix their hair, then put their seatbelts on.

"Are you about done wiggling around in there?" I asked, smirking.  "I'd hate to ruin our date by severing a limb when I was trying to be a gentleman."  She looked up at me, trying hard to look offended, and then she stuck her tongue out at me.  "Mature, Laur...move your arm."  She laughed and moved her arm so I could shut the door.

Once I was in the car, she turned, angling her body towards me.  "I was wondering how long I could fidget around before you either just went and got in without shutting the door or said something.  You made it longer than I thought you would."  She was grinning at me, and I shook my head and laughed.  Of course.  But every time she did something Lauren-like, I felt more at ease and less nervous.

"You're a real piece of work," I said.

"A real pretty piece of work," she joked back.

I glanced at her quickly and smiled.  "That's true.  You are."  And then Lauren blushed, which is a rare phenomenon and made me smile wider. 

"Knock it off," she said, turning her head quickly to look out the window in a futile attempt to hide her pink cheeks. 

"What?" I asked with mock innocence.  "I've been led to believe that it's generally a good thing to compliment women I'm taking on a date.  I've heard that most women like being told that they're pretty.  Have I been misled?"

"No, we do like that.  But it's you, so it's weird."  She glanced at me quickly, then turned her face back towards the window.  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her take a deep breath.

"Hey," I said gently.  She turned back towards me.  "I know this is weird, and I'm nervous too."  When she smiled slightly, I tested my luck with, "And hey, at least we've already seen each other naked, so that won't be awkward."  She groaned and smacked me in the arm, but she was smiling again.

The rest of the drive to the restaurant was far less tense.  Once we got there, the rest of the tension melted away slowly.  Conversation got easier.  By the end of our meal, everything felt like it was back to normal.  I was enjoying her company, as I always did, but it still felt different than it ever had before.  Now it was a good different, though.

After we ate, we moved to the bar area and got another drink.  We ended up staying for two more hours, until finally Lauren said, "It's getting pretty late."  I looked at my watch.  It was after 11.  We both had to work the next day.

"Yeah, it is," I replied.  Neither of us moved.  "So I should probably get you home."

"Yeah, you should."  Still we sat.  Finally I stood and offered her a hand, pulling her up from her seat.  As we walked out, my arm seemed to settle around her waist on its own.  She didn't seem to mind and she let me pull her closer.  The drive back to her apartment was uncharacteristically quiet, but it was a comfortable quiet now.

When we got there, I parked the car.  "What are you doing?" she asked. 

"Walking you inside," I replied.  She started to open her mouth to argue.  "Nope, it's not up for discussion."

Even in the dark I saw her roll her eyes, but she said nothing.  She even took my hand again as we walked inside.  When we got to her apartment, she turned to me.  Leaning up against the door and looking up at me like she was, it was hard for me to not just kiss her.  Instead, I asked, "So, what's the verdict?  Are we going to do this again?"

"I'd like to," she replied, smiling.  "If you want to, of course," she added quickly.

"I do," I said.  I wrapped one hand around her waist and pulled her closer to me.  "Do you kiss on the first date?" I asked, smirking at her.

"Shut up, you idiot," she said, rising up onto her toes and pressing her lips to mine.  The hand I had on her waist slid across her back until my arm was wrapped around her, and my other hand found her cheek.  We'd obviously kissed before, but this was different.  I know I keep saying that, but I don't know how else to describe it.  It was just different.

"This weekend?" she asked when she pulled back.

"Huh?" I was a little dazed from the kiss and had no idea what she was talking about.

"This weekend.  Going out again?  Saturday?"

"Yes," I said.  "Yes, Saturday works."

She grinned at me and shook her head.  "I didn't realize I could make your brain stop just by kissing you or I'd have done it a lot sooner."

"I just wish it was as easy to make yours stop," I grumbled.

"Won't ever happen," she replied.

"I know," I said, smiling.  "It's one of the things I like about you."  She rolled her eyes.  I pulled her against me and kissed her again.  "Saturday," I said when we broke apart.

"Saturday," she repeated.  We stood there silently for about 3 seconds before she said, "Well, goodnight."

"Goodnight," I replied.  We smiled, and she unlocked her door and disappeared into her apartment.

"Saturday," I repeated softly to myself, as I turned and walked down the hall.

(Now/Then) Alex: The Wait

It was unanimous! I started writing this all as one post, with the background and the date, but it got a little long.  So here is part 1, with some of the background.  Part 2, with the actual date, will go up for Friday!  Thanks to everyone that gave input on what they wanted!
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 "If you wanted to, you could take me out to dinner sometime."

I pulled the phone away from my ear and frowned at it, making sure it did say "Lauren" across the call display.  Yup.  "I have to buy you dinner before you sleep with me now?" I joked, not really sure what to make of what Lauren just said, and not wanting to hope it's what I really, really want her to mean.  When she sighed loudly, I tentatively asked, "Lauren, do you want to go out?  On a date?"

"No, I don't, never mind.  Why do you have to be such an asshole?" She was talking fast, and she sounded flustered, which is not very Lauren-like.

"Hey," I said gently.  "I'd actually love to take you out to dinner."

"You would?" Now she sounded surprised.  "Well then why the hell did you have to make a stupid joke about it?"  I felt guilty immediately for my joke, but I had no idea how else to respond.

"I'm sorry," I replied sincerely.  "I just...didn't want to assume anything, knowing your feelings on dates.  I didn't mean to freak you out."

She snorted.  "You didn't freak me out."  Right.  "But if you wanted to, Tuesday would be a really good night."  Back in charge, that's my girl.

"Tuesday is a really good night for me too.  Was there someplace you had in mind?"

She sighed again.  "I had to ask you out, I have to plan it, are you going to make me pay for it too?"  I almost laughed.  I held it in, and it's a good thing I did because I knew she was being so sarcastic and snippy because she was nervous as hell.  That's what she does.  She can be so nice, but when she's nervous, watch out.

"No, Laur, I'll take care of it.  But since you brought it up, I wanted to make sure you didn't have something already planned in your head.  I'd hate to disappoint you now."

She laughed.  "You know, sometimes you really piss me off," she replied, but she sounded much more relaxed.

"Right back atcha, babe," I replied.

"Gross, don't say that," she said with a groan.  And just like that, everything was back to normal.  Or, as normal as it could be after Lauren told me she wanted to go on a date.  With me.  We talked for a few more minutes, then I told her I'd call her once I figured out details for Tuesday.

"Good.  Don't fuck it up, Berg."  Then she hung up.  I shook my head.

Going on an actual date with Lauren was going to be really interesting.  Especially at this point in our relationship.  We had been friends for what, 8 years now?  We'd had dozens of innocent sleepovers and now several not-so-innocent ones.  

And regardless of what Christian thought, I actually hadn't been in love with Lauren since we first met, at that party freshman year.  I mean, sure, I thought she was hot.  Only an idiot wouldn't have.  She's gorgeous.  And I found her interesting from the start.  A girl that loves football as much as I do (even if she cheers for the wrong team) is always interesting.

But she put off a seriously unavailable and uninterested vibe, so I didn't bother trying to figure out if I had more serious feelings for her.  I shut that down and just enjoyed spending time with her.  It was weird at first.  It was obvious that Lauren didn't exactly know what to do with a friend that was a guy.  And she seemed like she was always on the defensive, ready to deflect and shut down anything from me that remotely resembled flirting or interest.

Once we started to get to know each other a little better though, I figured out how to interact with her in a way that was comfortable for her, and she was able to relax more.  Eventually I also learned about why she was so uptight around me at first too.  Between that asshole that broke her heart and her high school experiences, it was no wonder she had no idea how to act around me.  It made me really glad I never made a move on her.

Because let's be real, I definitely thought about it a couple times.  I would have liked to.  She's hot.  She's smart.  She's funny.  She likes football.  Who wouldn't?  But I knew it wouldn't be received well and I cared more about having her in my life than getting her naked.  So I didn't.  And really, I probably wouldn't have wanted much beyond a friends with benefits relationship at that point.  Waaaaay too much shit to wade through to prove myself for anything more than that.  It was easier to win her over with friendship first.

That makes it sound like I had some elaborate, manipulative plot to befriend her and then get in her pants, and that's definitely not the case either.  I genuinely liked her and enjoyed spending time with her.  I wanted to be her friend.  As she got more and more comfortable, I enjoyed our time together even more.  Every once in awhile I'd have a flash of thinking that maaaaybe, just maybe, I wanted more.  But by that point, I cared way too much about her to ever screw it up, so I pushed it away.

This is stupid, but I was proud (and maybe feeling a little self-important) of the way I was able to gain her trust and how comfortable she was around me.  It was hard work, and I wasn't going to do anything that fucked it up.  So I kept my mouth shut when she started sleeping around, even though I wanted to point out that if what she wanted was sex, I'd be happy to provide it whenever she wanted.  Come on, I'm a guy.

I got so good at pretending that I wanted nothing from Lauren but her company that I even liked and dated other girls.  Nothing lasted for longer than a few months.  A lot of them had issues with the fact that one of my best friends was a girl.  A hot girl.  A hot girl that never had a boyfriend.  Lauren was always incredibly respectful of my relationships.  She didn't spend the night when I was dating someone.  We didn't do much one-on-one hanging out.  But for some reason, too many of the girls I was interested in just couldn't handle her presence in my life at all.

One girl didn't mind.  She had a bunch of male friends of her own, and she was really laid back and not jealous at all.  We were actually together for almost a year.  Almost a year, until she sent me a text message that was meant for someone else.  Someone else that she was fucking.  After that, it just wasn't worth dating much.

Lauren and I stayed good friends, but as we grew into our adult lives after college, our friendship changed.  There were no more sleepovers (except the occasional "my place is too far and it's late, can I stay with you?") and we both got busy with jobs and life.  We were still good friends, but without the freedom of college it's inevitable that things shift.  Gone were any inklings of "more than friendship" feelings for Lauren, as well.  We were comfortable in our friendship.

Then Olivia came along.  We all know what happened with Olivia.  And honestly, I'm glad that she went for Brody, because the more I got to know her, the more I realized we would not have been good together.  Not at all.  Not because of anything specific.  I think Liv is really great.  I think she's smart and obviously she's gorgeous, and she's a sweet girl.  But she's too...midwest-nice.  I need someone with energy and bluntness and dry humor like mine.

And that's when I realized that I needed someone like Lauren.  The thought wasn't a pleasant one, because I knew it would never happen.  I had never seen someone stick so firmly to a "no relationships ever again" decision.  She had follow-though.  But the more I thought about it, the more I realized she really was my ideal partner.  At least, as far I knew.

Lauren started acting kind of strange around me.  I couldn't really put my finger on it, and when I asked Liv about it, she was completely oblivious.  I wondered why I cared so much, and then I worried that my recent realization had made me act differently around her and she was responding to that.  But if no one else noticed, maybe it was in my head.

I started to get frustrated because the more I saw Liv and Brody and Kinsley and Damien together, the more I wanted it for myself.  I tried to put myself out there more and I even dated a little bit but it didn't go well.  I finally just gave up.  

I really wasn't planning on sleeping with her after Kendra and Christian's wedding.  It just sort of happened.  It was enough to make me hopeful, really hopeful.  I don't know what I was expecting her to say in the car, but I was expecting something.  Instead, I got mindless chatter and awkward silence.  And she did all but actually put her hands on me to push me out of her apartment after I dropped her off. 

I was worried that we had screwed up by having sex.  As much as I wanted Lauren to be my girlfriend by this point, I valued our friendship more than anything.  So I took my cue and pretended that nothing happened.  I acted as normally as I could, and luckily she did the same. 

I thought that would be that, but then I saw the way she was glowering at the girl I was talking to at the bar we were at a few weeks later.  When I asked for a ride home, even though I wasn't even close to drunk, I still wasn't exactly sure what my plan was.  I didn't want to push anything that she didn't want, because I really didn't want to lose our friendship.  But maybe if I just gave her an opportunity to make a move, and a little encouragement...

That night turned into another night a few days later.  And then another.  And another.  When we weren't naked, Lauren acted like nothing had changed.  I tried really hard to be okay with that.  I really did.  But the more time we spent together, the more nights she spent cuddled up next to me, the more I was struggling with not pushing for more than just hooking up. 

I knew she knew I wanted more.  I could tell by the sort of sympathetic, almost pitying look she'd give me in the morning when she'd get up, get dressed, and leave.  I left the ball in her court, hoping that after enough nights spent together, she might decide to give it a shot. 

And now, it looks like my waiting finally paid off.  I guess I have a date to plan.

(Now) Alex's Perspective: Bros Before Hos

1.  If you missed Saturday's post, you can find it here  You'll want to read that one first or this one won't make as much sense! 

2.  I've had a couple requests to add the celebrities that my characters look like to the character list, as some other awesome blogs have done.  However, this is the one request I probably won't grant.  I will continue to consider it, but I have left the descriptions fairly ambiguous for a reason.  I want readers to be able to imagine the characters in a way that makes sense to them.  What if my idea of what's attractive isn't yours, and I post the person that I imagine Brody as, and y'all are like "Dude, he's so not hot"?  Then you don't like him as much, and that would be sad, because Brody has jumped through a lot of hoops to win you all over (see what I did there?).  This way, you can imagine him as any tall, dark, and handsome man you choose.  

I do appreciate the feedback that the characters are hard to imagine, so I did go back into the character list and add physical descriptions to the main characters, so I hope that helps a little.  If the lack of celebrity comparisons is seriously impeding your enjoyment of the story I could probably be talked into adding it but I'd really rather not.  (That sounded rather sarcastic, but I promise that it's not.  I think you guys know that I love to give you what you want, so it's probably weird that I'm putting my foot down on something like this, but for some reason I feel strongly about it!)
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I dodged a bullet.

Okay, that's probably a little dramatic.  But all of Liv's back and forth shit with Brody was ridiculous, and it was really hard to watch my friend get jerked around like that.  What is up with girls, anyway?  Figure out what the hell you want.

Don't get me wrong.  I don't think Liv is a bad person.  I get why she started dating someone else.  She didn't know if Brody would be back.  But I do think that Brody is so in love with her that he doesn't know his head from his ass, and I'm not entirely convinced that Liv feels the same.  If she does, she sure has a weird way of showing it.  I just don't want him to get hurt.  I've never seen him like this.  He's put so much on the line for this and if she decides to change her mind again, he's going to be a mess. 

And I guess I can admit that I'm also a little irritated that I never get to see him now.  He's been so busy with work and now I'm sure he'll spend all his free time with her.  Since he got back from Miami, the only time I see him is when we all get together.   As much as I want to blame it on Liv, I know I can't.  They haven't been back together for that long.  And now that he filled me in on what's going on at work, I get it.  But it still sucks.

I feel bad about some of the things I said when we had it out at happy hour, but they were all true.  I am worried that she's going to break his heart.  I do think the way he caters to her is ridiculous.  But I know that most of my issue isn't actually with Liv, and I did promise Brody that I wouldn't be an asshole to her.  I don't want to be an asshole to her, so it wasn't really a hard promise to make.  I was just really pissed off that day.

He was furious at the things I said on Thursday.  I've only ever seen him mad a couple times.  He's usually pretty laid back, and his "mad" matches most people's "irritated."  But on Thursday?  I got the ass chewing of my life.  He was fired up, and I could barely separate one "fuck" from another.  He called me an asshole at least 3 times, and a motherfucker twice.  If I hadn't been so blown away by how angry he was, it might have been comical. 

Of course, after swearing at each other and getting it out in the open, we made plans to hang out and watch football.  (It's times like this when I'm awfully glad I'm a guy.  I don't do catty chick bullshit.  Isn't it better to bitch each other out, maybe throw a punch or two, and then go have a beer together?  Take note, ladies.)  This was the first time this entire football season that we've done this. When he got to my house, he rang the doorbell.  That was weird, he's always just walked in.

"Really, man?" I asked as I pulled open the door.  "Since when do you ring the doorbell?"

"Since the last time I was here was when I was leaving for Miami and the last time I saw you, you bitched me out," Brody replied, but he was smiling.  He held up a case of beer.  "Peace offering."

"You're going to have to do better than that," I grumbled.  "You can buy the pizza too."

Brody laughed.  "Planned on it.  Now get out of my way so I can actually come in."  I moved, and pushed the door shut behind him.

We ordered pizza and sat on the couch drinking beer and yelling at the terrible play calling and even worse officiating.  The commentating was pretty terrible too.  Ugly game.  At halftime, I asked casually, "So what the heck even happened with you Liv?  You weren't together, and then you were.  It was like it happened overnight."

"It did happen overnight," Brody responded.  He told me the story--the way she had shown up at his house at 1 in the morning, in the pouring rain.  Her confession, their talk the next morning.  I still wasn't convinced that her feelings were at the same level as his, but I guess she probably feels more strongly than I thought she did.  So that's good, I guess. 

"That's sort of crazy," I commented.  "I mean, in a good way."  I was trying to be neutral, but it wasn't going so well.

"It was crazy.  I almost didn't answer the door.  And I definitely wasn't expecting to see her standing there when I did." 

I nodded.  I couldn't think of anything else to say on the topic and I still had my doubts, but I didn't want to be all negative about it, since we were having a pretty good day.  Luckily, the game came back on and our attention turned back to that.

As the day went on, things began to feel normal again. Brody had to take a couple work calls which was surprising to me.  I mean, I know he said he was busy, but for some reason I hadn't realized that meant that he was working on Sundays.  It helped me understand just how busy he was.  I started to feel a little ridiculous for my little outburst on Thursday.

I blamed my overly competitive nature and always feeling like everything was a competition.  I had competed with Brody for Liv, and I'd lost, so now I was competing with Liv for Brody.

I also couldn't help but feel like my friendship with Lauren was changing too.  She and I had always gotten along effortlessly, our dry, sarcastic senses of humor blending seamlessly.  But lately, our friendship had seemed off, and I couldn't quite figure out why.  She seemed a little more on edge and for some reason I felt the need to fix that.  Of course, I had no idea how. 

I was interrupted from my own thoughts by Brody tossing his phone onto the couch next to me and heading in the direction of the bathroom.  While he was gone, his phone vibrated and the screen lit up.  I saw it was a text from Liv and rolled my eyes.  Couldn't she even leave him alone for one day?  Then I saw what it said: Hope you're having fun with Alex.  Don't worry about stopping over later if it gets too late.  Just have a good time there!

Okay, fine.  I was jumping to asshole conclusions again.  I felt guilty and knew I needed to make peace with Liv.  I knew she knew what I had said on Thursday and I really did feel bad about it.

Brody ended up staying until the end of the Sunday night game.  A full day of football.  What's better than that?  "Thanks for the beer and pizza," I said as he was putting his shoes on.

"No problem.  It was good to hang out, and we should probably do it again soon,"  Brody replied.  I agreed and we said goodbye.


On Thursday I pulled Liv aside when she got to happy hour.  "Can we talk for a second?" I asked her.  She nodded, looking confused.  "Look, I was a huge asshole last week, and I'm sorry for the things I said.  I really am glad you guys are back together, because he's really happy."

"Thanks," she replied.  "I guess I wasn't sure if I had done something else to piss you off..." she trailed off, raising her eyebrows questioningly.

"Not at all.  You haven't done anything to piss me off.  I was just being a jerk."  She seemed satisfied with that and smiled.

"We all have our moments," she said.  "So, we're cool?"

"We're cool," I confirmed.

"And if you're pissed at me, next time you'll just tell me instead of being an asshole?" Liv smirked as she said it, and I could help but laugh.

"Yes, mom, next time I'll tell you instead of being an asshole," I said.  She started to walk back towards the table but I stopped her with a hand on her arm.  "Hey, um, can I ask you a question?  In confidence?"

Now she really looked confused.  "Sure, I guess," she replied.

"It's about Lauren, and I know you guys are close, so can you promise not to tell her I asked you this?"  I was taking a risk even giving this much information, but I had to know what was up with her.

"Okay, I promise.  What's up?" she asked curiously.

"She's been...weird lately.  Has she seemed weird to you?  Is there something going on with her?  You don't have to tell me what, but I'm just a little worried."

Liv looked surprised.  "No, she hasn't seemed weird at all to me," she answered genuinely.  "I don't think there's anything going on.  She hasn't said anything.  What do you think is wrong?"  Now Liv looked concerned too.

"Nothing," I said quickly.  "I don't know.  She's just seemed a little off lately.  Maybe it's just me.  I've clearly been a little off lately."  I tried to joke it off.  "Seriously though, don't say anything, okay?"

"Okay," Liv agreed.  I wasn't completely sure if I could trust her, but therapists are supposed to be good at keeping secrets, right?  I let her return to the table and puzzled over why Liv didn't notice anything different with Lauren.  And why did I even care so much? 

(Now) Alex's Perspective: What's a Fourth with no Fireworks?

If you need a refresher on the original post, you can find it here.

Of course the hikers came back just in time to eat lunch, but not to help with it.  At least they cleaned up.  After, I suggested opening up the hot tub.  I was a little irritated (and maybe jealous) that Brody got to spend the entire morning with Liv, but at least now I could check her out in her swimsuit.  As we pulled the cover off of the hot tub, I heard the girls approaching, laughing hysterically about something.

I turned to look, and spied the cooler full of beer sitting next to the hot tub.  Perfect excuse to go talk to them.  I grabbed three beers and walked over.  Damn it, Liv was a fucking knockout.  Actually, they all are.  There probably weren't three guys in the entire state that were luckier than me, Kevin, and Brody right now.

I held out the beers.  "I was going to offer these, but I'm not sure any of you need them," I said, regarding them.  Liv's face was bright red and Lauren was bent double laughing.  Kinsley was making a strangled gasping sound.

"Are you kidding?" Liv asked.  "I've never needed it more.  You try sharing a room with these weirdos."  She took the beer I held out to her and rewarded me with a nod and a perfect smile.  By the time I was done taking the caps off the other two and handing them to Kinsley and Lauren, Liv was already in the hot tub.  I groaned inwardly when I saw she was right next to Brody.

The sliding door of the deck above opened and I heard Savannah's voice.  A second later, she appeared on the stairs followed by Allie and Christian.  I went over to the hot tub and got in quickly, claiming the spot on the other side of Liv.  With everyone, it was a little crowded, but I clearly wasn't sad about having to scoot closer to Liv.  When our legs brushed, I had to stop a stupid smile from spreading over my face.

I noticed Savannah drinking very quickly on Brody's other side.  I sighed.  Drunk Savannah was a shit show.  She was likely to break something, get hurt, throw up everywhere, or cry.  That was just par for the course for Drunk Savannah.

Lauren, Kinsley, and Liv didn't last long in the hot tub.  The rest of us stayed another half hour or so.  Savannah was the next one out, and she almost toppled over as she climbed out.  Brody caught her arm right before she fell on her face.  On my other side, Allie groaned.  She touched my arm and I looked at her.  "Help me, please?" she pleaded softly.  I nodded and we both got out and hurried after Savannah.

Savannah had made it about half way up the stairs, and she was now sitting precariously there, leaning against the railing.

"This is a no stopping zone," I said, taking her arm.  "Let's go."  She looked up at me with glassy eyes.

"Will you help me get another beer?" she slurred.

"Absolutely not, but I will help you get up these stairs and to your room.  I think you should lay down for a little while.  Then, when you get up, I'll help you get another beer."  She considered this for several seconds, then nodded and let me haul her to her feet.  Allie trailed behind us, being entirely unhelpful.

I thought we were in the clear, but when we got to the living room, she yanked her arm away from me and made a dash towards the kitchen.  "Tricked you!" she cried.  Allie stepped into her path and slowed her down long enough for me to wrap an arm around her waist.  "I'm not going to bed, asshole!" she yelled, slamming her fist down on my forearm.

"Just for a little while, Savannah," Allie said soothingly.

"Oh shut up!" she snapped.  As she reached for a nearby beer bottle, I heard voices coming down the hall.  "It's empty!" she said.  And then she hurled it towards the wall.  We all spun and froze as the bottle hit the wall inches from Liv and Kinsley's heads.  Liv and Kinsley leaped in opposite directions.  It was a good thing it wasn't flying towards Lauren, because she just stood there with her mouth open.

Now behind me, Savannah suddenly started crying.  I rolled my eyes.  Seriously?  You weren't one of the ones that almost just took a flying beer bottle to the face.  I caught Allie's eye and nodded and we each grabbed one of Savannah's arms and hauled her to her feet, then through the living room towards the room she and Allie were sharing.

15 minutes later we had Savannah successfully in bed.  In the living room, the girls and Brody had gotten the glass cleaned up and were discussing going into town.  We decided against it, and sat in the living room chatting.  Liv got up and was walking towards her room when she suddenly yelped in pain.  She lifted her heel and we could all clearly see a piece of sharp brown glass there.

Brody led her off to take care of it, causing another small surge of jealousy and irritation.  While they were doing that, I got up to start the grill for dinner to distract myself.  I turned the gas on and pressed the starter button but nothing happened.  It didn't click, the grill didn't light.  I tried again.  Nothing.  I turned the gas back off and walked into the kitchen.  I pulled drawers open looking for matches or a lighter.  I knew there was one somewhere.  I searched all the drawers with no luck.  I called Christian in to search, and he didn't find anything either.

I headed inside and down the hall towards Brody's room.  It was quiet as I approached, and as I stepped into the open doorway, I made eye contact with Liv who was standing by the window.  My stomach dropped as I surveyed the scene in front of me.  Liv stood facing the door, and Brody was there too, with his back to me and one hand on Liv's hip and one on her neck.  Brody noticed Liv react to my presence and let his hands fall away, turning towards me.

"Um, sorry.  Did you have any matches?  Or a lighter?  The starter button on the grill..."  I stopped, staring at them.  I could feel my face get hot.

"Sure.  There are some in the kitchen drawer," Brody responded, starting to turn back towards Liv.

"Yeah, we looked.  Couldn't find them.  Can you come look?"  I stood there stubbornly.  I wasn't sure why I couldn't just let them have their moment.  Spite, I guess. 

Brody glared at me, which pissed me off.  I was even more determined to stand here until they moved now.

"Okay.  I'll be there in a second," he said finally.  I didn't move.  Brody sighed and said something quietly to Liv.  She nodded and they walked towards the door.  I watched Liv as she walked towards me, conscious of my red face.  The anger was fading and now I was just embarrassed that I believed her when she said she wanted to get settled before she started dating anyone.  I stepped aside to let her pass, and resisted the urge to body slam Brody into the door frame as he exited after.

I avoided both of them for the rest of the night.  Kevin asked me why everyone looked so pissed and I muttered that I interrupted something when I went looking for matches and left it at that.  I ended up being one of the first people to go to bed because it was getting harder to avoid either of them.

I got up fairly early the next morning and grabbed a soda out of the fridge.  I walked out onto the deck and was surprised to see Liv sitting there, reading.  "Oh!" I said, stupidly.  "Um...hey.  I didn't think...I didn't think anyone was out here.  I'm just going to..." I trailed off, then turned and walked back inside.  Real smooth.

I went back to the room I was sharing with Kevin and laid low for awhile.  When I came back out, Lauren, Allie, Kinsley and Kendra were in the living room.  I looked out onto the deck and saw Brody sitting there, alone.  I decided I had to say something, and I went out.

"What the hell, man?" I asked, sitting down next to him.  He looked at me in surprise, but didn't say anything.  "Why didn't you just tell me you were interested in Liv?  It was pretty shitty to find out by walking in on you guys almost kissing."  Behind us, the door slid open.  I looked back and saw Kevin stepping out onto the deck.

"Shit, Alex.  I'm sorry.  I was going to say something, but I don't even know if she's interested in me," he responded.  Pathetic apology, if you ask me.

"Are you an idiot?" Kevin asked.  Brody raised his eyebrows.  "She's definitely interested in you."  Ouch.  Thanks, Kev.

But even though it sucked to admit, Kevin was right.  I nodded.  "She is, dude."

Brody looked at me questioningly.  Sometimes he was such an idiot.   I sighed.  "If you want to go for it, go for it.  But fucking hell man, next time have a little respect for me and let me know, okay?"

He nodded.  "I'm sorry.  I should have, you're right."  After a pause he asked if we wanted a beer.  We both nodded and he got up and walked towards the house.  He paused at the door.  "Are we cool?" he asked.

"Once I have that beer in my hand we are," I said.  He laughed and headed in.

"You good?" Kevin asked, looking at me curiously.

I shrugged.  "Sucks, but what do you do?  If she's not into me, then she's not into me."  Kevin nodded and I continued, "But if he's going to go for it, I just hope he doesn't fuck it up."

"Yeah, no kidding," Kevin agreed.  "He's awfully good at that."