Meet Eddie

A bonus!  We haven't had one of those in awhile :)  Look for a third post sometime late Friday or on Saturday.  
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I used my Friday morning to finish up the rest of my wedding-related tasks for the week, including booking our rehearsal dinner at the place we'd decided on the night before.  Then I headed into town, went to the gym, stopped at the grocery store to pick up something to make for dinner and some snacks in preparation for Sarah to spend Saturday night.

I was looking forward to Sarah's visit.  I'd only talked to her a couple times since she had just showed up in Denver and called me in a panic.  She had been worried because she'd heard Nadine talking about how Sarah and AJ's mom wanted to try to get custody of them.  In our last conversation, she'd told me that they had to go to court in October but that it didn't sound like their mom would be successful.

After picking up a few groceries, I headed home.  I did a little cleaning and then started making dinner.  Brody, with his amazing timing, made it home just as dinner was done.  "You're earlier than I thought you'd be," I greeted him cheerfully, setting down the dish towel I'd just swiped over the counter to wrap my arms around his neck.

"Slow week," he replied, dipping his head down to kiss me.  "Though I probably shouldn't say that out loud, since I'm on call."  I wrinkled my nose and he laughed.  "How long until dinner's ready?"

"It's done," I said, peeling myself out of his arms and turning off the stove.  Brody tugged his tie off and laid it on top of his jacket, which he'd draped over the back of a chair when he walked in.  He grabbed plates and silverware and put them on the table, then unbuttoned his cuffs and rolled his sleeves up.  By the time I made it to the table, he'd pushed his hands through his hair, messing it up significantly, kicked off his shoes, and unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt.  I chuckled.  He had gone from put-together businessman to half undressed in a manner of minutes.  "Why don't you just go change?" I asked.

"Because it's time to eat and I'm hungry," he replied.  "And because upstairs is really far away."

After we ate, Brody insisted on cleaning up.  I didn't make him argue too hard, and happily let him do the dishes I hadn't already done.  We spent the night relaxing on the couch with a movie, and it was an excellent night in.

On Saturday, Brody actually slept in with me and we got up and made breakfast together.  After we ate, he disappeared into his office for awhile to do some work.  He emerged again around 4.

"Leave in about a half hour?" he asked, looking at his watch as he moved my feet to sit down on the couch.  I promptly plopped my feet in his lap and nodded.

"I just need shoes and I'm ready," I replied.  Brody entertained himself for the next 20 minutes by rubbing my feet and distracting me while I tried to read.  Small price to pay for the foot massage!

We headed into town.  We were going to go meet Eddie, the dog Pete was looking for a home for, before we had dinner with Nadine, Jon, AJ, and Sarah.  Brody drove us to a nice residential neighborhood, and we stopped in front of a good sized, well cared for house on a corner.

When we rang the doorbell, we heard two sharp barks, a muffled command, then silence.  A second later, the door swung open.  Pete greeted us cheerfully and ushered us in.  "The wife is out running some errands," he said.  "She might be back while you're here, she might not.  Can I get you anything?"  We both declined and I took a second to appreciate the home's decor.

"That is gorgeous," I said, pointing to a print hanging on the wall above their couch.

Pete grinned.  "Thank you.  I'd love to take credit, but Serena has an eye for that kind of stuff."  He motioned for us to sit, and I did, noticing a huge, copper colored dog sitting near the corner of the room, warily watching Brody and I with large, intelligent eyes.  "This is Eddie Mac," Pete said, motioning to the dog.  One of his ears flicked towards Pete, but his warm brown eyes stayed locked on us.

Brody laughed.  "Eddie Mac?  He must have good hands."  I looked at Brody, confused.  "Ed McCaffrey was a wide receiver for the Broncos in the 90s and early 2000s."

"Oh," I said.  Obviously.

Pete released Eddie and he walked straight to me.  I let him sniff my hand, and after a thorough inspection he licked it once and dropped his head into my lap.  He leaned gently against my legs, nudging me with his huge head.  I laughed and scratched the top of his head.  He manipulated his head until I was rubbing his ear, then relaxed onto my leg, letting his tongue flop out happily.

"I think he likes you," Pete said, laughing.

"I'm feeling a little left out," Brody said, pretending to pout.

I withdrew my hand from Eddie's head and said, "Go lick him to death!"  He kept his head in my lap, nudging me gently, for a few more seconds, then trotted over to Brody and repeated the process.  He didn't get quite as comfortable, but he looked pretty happy.  "He's so well behaved," I commented.

"They were training him to be a service dog," Pete explained.  "Their son has seizures, and apparently service dogs can help.  He was almost done with the training, but then they had to move, and their son got really sick, and it just got to be too much for them."

Brody grinned, and Eddie pulled his head away from him and came back over to me.  "He could be a therapy dog," Brody suggested.

"You don't have to sell me on this," I said, laughing.  "I don't know why you think you do."  Eddie put an experimental paw on my leg.  When I didn't scold him, he sat up on his haunches and put his other paw on my other leg.

"That's bad manners," Pete said, chuckling.  Eddie gave him the dog equivalent of a side-eye and shimmied closer to me.  After a minute of slowly creeping, his chest and belly were shoved between my shins and his forehead was shoved against my stomach as I scratched his ears with both hands.

"He's hugging you," Brody crowed, laughing.  "You have a new friend."  

We stayed for another half hour, and Eddie happily laid on my feet the whole time.  When we got up to leave, he followed us to the door.  He obeyed Pete's command to sit several feet away from the door but watched me forlornly.  "Look," Brody said, "He's sad.  He wants to go with you."

"I would love for him to come with me, but then we'll have to leave him again in a few weeks and that's not fair to him," I said firmly, though my resolve was waning.  It hadn't taken me long to fall in love with Eddie.

"Well?" Brody asked as we left.

"I love him," I declared, grinning.

Brody chuckled.  "He loved you.  I was getting a little jealous."

I snorted.  "You got plenty of attention from me last night."

"Oh no, I meant jealous of you.  I wanted more attention from the dog!" He smirked and bumped my shoulder with his as he stopped to open his car door for me.

"Of course you did," I said, laughing.  He paused before he shut the door and leaned in to kiss me.

Once he was in, he looked at me.  "So, we'll pick him up when we get back from our mysterious honeymoon?" I asked.

Brody grinned.  "I guess that's okay," he replied, pretending to consider it.  "I'll let Pete know."

We got to the restaurant where we were meeting Nadine, Jon, AJ, and Sarah a little early, and we headed inside to get a table.  I kept an eye on the door, and waved when I saw them walk in.  We stood to greet them, and I hugged Nadine, then Jon.  Sarah smiled shyly but slid into a chair without hugging me, which was fine.  AJ gave me a quick hug and said, "You didn't tell us you were getting married.  Are you marrying this guy?" He pointed at Brody.

I laughed and Nadine scolded him.  "AJ, that's rude.  At least sit down first."

Once we were seated I said, "Yes, I'm marrying this guy.  This is my fiancé Brody.  Brody, you met Nadine and Jon briefly, you know Sarah, and this is AJ."

"I'm 10," AJ said matter-of-factly.

"That's awesome," Brody replied, grinning.  "I would have guessed 11."

"Really?" he asked, wide-eyed.  Then he turned to Nadine.  "See?  I told you I looked older in this shirt."  I pressed my lips together, trying not to laugh, as Nadine nodded patiently.

I caught Sarah rolling her eyes, and we exchanged and quick smile before she ducked her head back down, letting her curtain of hair fall in front of her face.  The streaks of color that had been purple the first time I met her were now bright turquoise.  "I like the new color," I said.

"Thanks," she said softly.  Her eyes darted to Brody and then back down to the table.  She was so painfully shy, which was the only thing about her that didn't remind me of myself at that age.

"So you must be so excited," Nadine said.  "3 weeks!"

"Yes, 3 weeks," I agreed, smiling.  "The last couple months have gone really quickly."

"Is there anything we can help with?"

I shook my head.  "I don't think so.  Thanks, though!  Brody's mom has been helping, and my parents will be here a whole week before to help with some of the last minute stuff."

"Oh," Brody said suddenly, looking like he just remembered something.  "I was supposed to have you call Jen.  She wanted to know if you wanted her to come early."

"When was I supposed to call her?" I asked, confused.

"A couple weeks ago, maybe?" he replied sheepishly.  "Sorry."

Jon and Nadine laughed, and Nadine nudged me and said, "Get used to that."

"I'll call her tomorrow," I said, laughing.

"So, speaking of your parents," Nadine said, quietly and hesitantly.  "Do they know we're coming?"

I smiled kindly.  "They do," I said reassuringly.  "My mom is happy that you guys are a part of my life."  Nadine looked visibly relieved.  I was stretching the truth just a little bit, I guess.  My mom didn't really care either way as long as I was happy, and had volunteered on her own that she would be perfectly polite and respectful--you know, just in case I was worried.  I hadn't been, until she had mentioned it.

The rest of the dinner went well.  Brody charmed the entire table as usual, and I longed for that skill.  He was truly comfortable around just about anyone.  That was probably what made him so good at his job and so successful with his business.  Sarah was quiet, but she was at least making eye contact by the end of dinner, which was a success in itself.

After dinner, Brody and I walked to Nadine and Jon's car to get Sarah's overnight bag.  She was spending the night with us.  Brody offered to take the bag and Sarah surprised me by handing it over.  I touched her shoulder gently and smiled.  "Ready to go?  Do you need to grab anything else, or is there anything we should stop and pick up while we're in town?"

"No thanks, I'm ready," she replied, smiling a real smile for the first time since she'd walked into the restaurant.

My Favorite Part of the House

Thanks for your patience in waiting for this post!  I'll be posting another regular storyline post on Wednesday, and the last of Liv's backstory on Friday.  Hope you all have an awesome week!
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15 minutes after I heard the shower turn off, Sarah walked slowly down the stairs.  She looked up at me through a curtain of wet hair, then cast her eyes back down to the floor.  Silently, she sat down in the chair furthest away from the couch, where I was sitting.  "Are you hungry?" I asked her.  It was now past noon, and I was definitely getting hungry.  She shrugged.  "Well, I am," I continued.  "If I make something, will you eat?"

"Yeah, I guess," she replied softly.  I motioned for her to follow me to the kitchen and I pulled the fridge open.  I gave her some options, watching her face for clues because I was pretty sure she wouldn't actually tell me what she wanted.  "Whatever you want is fine," she said finally, just as I had expected she would.

My eyes scanned the counter and I saw half a loaf of french bread sitting there.  I pulled the fridge back open and then asked "French toast?  Eggs?"  Her eyes met mine, and she paused a few seconds before shrugging.  "I think that sounds good," I said.  It was the most response she'd given any of my suggestions.  "Do you prefer bacon or sausage?"

She wrinkled her nose.  "I hate bacon," she said.  I grinned.  "What?" she asked.

I shrugged and pulled a package of turkey sausage out of the freezer.  "Sausage it is.  I hate bacon too."

"Oh," she said, but she smiled a little.  "Um, do you want some help?"  She sounded unsure again.

"Nah," I said.  I motioned to the table.  "Pretty simple.  But you can keep me company if you want.  If you wanted to talk while I cook, that would be okay.  If you don't want to talk, that's fine too." I looked at her from the corner of my eye and saw her frown as she pulled out a chair at the table.

She was silent for so long that it started to get hard for me to let it be quiet.  She was staring down at the surface of the table, but she had a look on her face that I'd seen many times.  I had a feeling she was wrestling with whether or not to talk, and if I gave in to my urge to fill the silence now I'd destroy any chance of her talking about what was on her mind.  So I sliced bread and beat eggs, waiting for her to decide what she wanted to do.

Finally, she started talking, but what came out wasn't what I expected.  "I know that you didn't know him, and that it was pretty crappy for him to just...disappear on you, but living with him was better than living with mom."  I got her a glass of water and returned to my food prep, listening.  "When I was really little, before AJ was born, we lived with mom and her dad.  He was an asshole."  The venom in her voice was surprising to me.  "He had rules.  So many rules.  I couldn't talk at the dinner table.  He didn't want to hear me ever.  He told me I was stupid and told my mom that she should dump me somewhere and drive away, that I was ruining her life.  I was 4."

She paused to take a drink of water.  "I think that...that there was something wrong with him.  Like, with his brain maybe.  People get mean when they get dementia sometimes, right?  Or maybe he was really depressed or something worse."  I nodded, encouraging her silently to keep talking.  "When Dad got out of jail the first time, I had just turned 5.  He came and stayed with us for a little while.  My grandfather," she rolled her eyes and spit the word out as if it burned her tongue, "was too scared of Dad to be mean to me while he was around.  We stayed there with him for a few months before we moved into an apartment.  The apartment sucked.  It had mice and roaches and it smelled funny and was never quite clean, no matter how much Dad scrubbed.  AJ was born about 6 months after we moved."  She stopped talking for long enough that I turned around to look at her.  She was still staring down at the table, tracing the pattern of the wood grain gentle with a fingernail.

She glanced up and her eyes darkened briefly when she saw me watching her.  She disappeared behind her curtain of hair again, slumping down in her seat.  I turned back to the stove and pulled the first pieces of French toast out of the pan on dropped them onto a plate.  I put some eggs and sausage on the plate and walked it over to the table.  I got out butter and syrup.  "Do you need anything else with that?" I asked her.

She shook her head, but when I turned to walk back to the stove, she asked in a small voice, "Do you have any juice?  Or soda?"

I pulled open the fridge and surveyed the contents.  We were in desperate need of a trip to the grocery store.  "We have Dr. Pepper, apple juice, and milk," I said.  I leaned around the fridge door to look at her.  She timidly asked for a Dr. Pepper and then stood to take it from me as I made my way back to the table.

She was quiet as I finished making food and made myself a plate.  I hoped she'd continue her story when I sat down.  Instead, she asked, "Is this really your house?"

"Well, kind of," I replied.  "It's actually Brody's house, but I moved in about two months ago."

"Where did he go?" she asked.

"He went to work for awhile.  Do you want some more?" I motioned to her now empty plate.  She considered this for a minute, then shook her head.  "You sure?  I can make a few more pieces of French toast, and there's more sausage."

"I guess I'll have sausage."  She got up and grabbed the last two pieces and brought them back to the table.  "Do you want one?" she offered.  When I shook my head she dropped them on her plate.  After we ate, she told me she had been on the bus most of the night and hadn't slept much.  I got her set up in the guest room and found out what kind of pizza she wanted for dinner before I left her to sleep

Once I was down there, I found my phone.  I had a text from Brody asking if we needed anything else while he was in town.  I sent him a short grocery list along with Sarah's pizza request and my own.  Then I tossed the phone on the couch and quickly washed the dishes from our quick meal and then flopped onto the couch.  I called Nadine and Jon and gave them a quick update.  They let me know they were planning to leave first thing in the morning and should be out here around lunchtime.  I gave them the address and told them I'd try to get Sarah to call when she got up from her nap.

Sarah ended up staying in bed until after Brody got home with groceries and pizza.  I shooed him upstairs to shower and change while I put the groceries away, then I went to the guest room to see if Sarah wanted dinner.  I knocked lightly on the door, not wanting to wake her up if she was still sleeping.  "Yeah?" she answered right away.

"If you're hungry, there's pizza," I replied.  "If not, you can always have some later."

I heard her moving around and then the door opened.  She looked slightly disheveled.  "I'll eat," she said quietly.  She offered me a very brief, shy smile, and I moved out of the way so she could get out.  "After I eat, I think I'll call my grandma."  I noticed her cheeks turning pink, and I almost laughed.  I wondered if our father had blushed as easily as we both do.

"I think she'll be glad to hear from you."

She nodded, then said, "I feel like kind of an idiot now.  I'm really sorry that I ruined your weekend."

"Sarah, you did not ruin my weekend," I said firmly.  "In the future, a call before you show up in Denver would be a good choice, but I'm glad I was around."

"Me too," she said ruefully, as we entered the kitchen.  I got out some plates and napkins and opened the pizza box.  Brody appeared in the kitchen as we were putting some pizza on our plates.  He grabbed one of the plates and smiled kindly at Sarah.  "Thanks for the pizza," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.  She refused to make eye contact with him and I could see the pink returning to her cheeks under her hair.

"You're welcome," he replied.  "Works out well for me, because I don't have to cook or wash dishes."  She met his eyes briefly and almost smiled, then looked back down at her plate.  Brody leaned against the counter with his plate in his hand and looked at me.  He said quietly, "I'm going to eat and then do a little more work."  I had a feeling he was eating and disappearing for Sarah's benefit, because she seemed absolutely terrified of him.  I nodded.

We all ate quietly.  Brody finished his pizza quickly, shoved his plate in the dishwasher, kissed my cheek and disappeared to his office.  "Does he always work a lot?" Sarah asked once he was gone.

I nodded.  "He owns his own business, so he's pretty busy."  She didn't say anything, but I was hopeful she might continue what she was talking about before.  After several minutes of silence, I tried prodding her a little.  "Do you want to tell me more about your mom?"

She frowned, then shrugged.  "She's never home.  I always took care of AJ.  She just wants us back because she gets more money when she's taking care of us.  She's always out with her stupid boyfriends, and I hate her."  Her voice had risen as she'd talked, but this was all I could get out of her.

After dinner, she called her grandma like she had said she would.  She I asked what she wanted to do and she asked what I'd be doing if she wasn't there.  I told her I might be reading or Brody and I would watch a movie or maybe go out.  She suggested we all watch a movie, and while she pretended Brody wasn't there as best as she could, she didn't seem quite as thrown off by his presence.

She excused herself for bed after the movie and once I heard the guest room door click firmly shut, I curled up next to Brody, leaning into his chest.  We talked quietly about the situation for a few minutes and then he told me about his day at work.  We turned on some old episodes of Arrested Development and watched a couple together before we were both too tired to stay up any longer.

"I think I might sleep down here," I said.  "I'm a little worried she might try to take off in the middle of the night, but even if she stays, I don't want her to wake up and need something and not come ask for it.  It might be easier if I sleep on the couch."

Brody immediately volunteered to sleep downstairs with me.  I protested that and after arguing it for a couple minutes, I convinced him to go up to bed with the promise that I'd let him know if I needed anything.

Nadine and Jon arrived on Sunday right around 1:30.  Sarah had helped me prepare and clean up from lunch and we had just finished when the doorbell rang.  She allowed Nadine and Jon to hug her tightly, though she didn't do much to hug back.  For their part, Nadine and Jon refrained from scolding her, though I could Nadine was struggling to hold her tongue.  "Can we have a few minutes?" Nadine asked me.

"Absolutely," I replied.  I left the room and went back to Brody's office.

He looked up and grinned when I knocked on the door.  "Are they gone already?" he asked, his grin turning to a perplexed look.

"No, they just asked for a few minutes," I replied with a shrug.  I pulled the second desk chair up next to him and stretched my legs up and forward, resting my heels on a clear spot on the edge of the desk.

Brody ran his fingers lightly up my bare calf and shook his head.  "It's not nice to tease while there are other people in the house," he said.

I rolled my eyes.  "Sorry you have no self control," I joked.

He grinned and leaned over to kiss my cheek.  "How pissed are they?" he asked quietly then.

I shrugged.  "They're not happy, but they were handling it well while I was out there."  I sat quietly while he wrapped up what he was working on, and was soon startled by a knock at the door.  I looked up and saw Nadine standing tentatively in the doorway.

I stood quickly.  "Nadine, this is Brody, my boyfriend." Brody stood as well and they exchanged greetings.  We walked back out to the living room.  Sarah was sitting sullenly on the couch, once again hiding behind her hair.  When she glanced up at me, I could see she had been crying.

"Well, thank you for everything," Jon said, after I had introduced Brody to him as well.  "We owe you one for taking such great care of her and her whims this weekend."

"It wasn't a problem," I assured them.  "I'd love you see you guys again soon--maybe on a planned visit this time?"  I caught Sarah's eye and smiled.  She smiled back, the corners of her lips barely twitching up before her eyes darted to Nadine and she disappeared back behind her hair.  We talked about trying to plan something and decided we'd pick a weekend soon for Brody and I to drive out to Utah.

As I was walking them all to the door, I was surprised by Sarah hugging me, briefly but fiercely.  I looked at her and said, "Call anytime, okay?  And keep me posted."  She nodded, smiled her faint, fleeting smile, and disappeared out the door behind Nadine and Jon.

"Sorry," I said with a rueful grimace once they were gone.  "That disrupted the entire weekend."

"Yet is still not the craziest thing that one of our family members has done to disrupt our lives," Brody said, smiling.  "That honor will forever stay with my father, I think."

Brody reminded me we still had several hours of our "no work" Sunday left.  We went for a long walk, wandering around the neighborhood.  We stumbled on a small hidden park that Brody didn't even know existed, and explored for awhile.  When we got back, we made dinner together.  After dinner, we ignored the mess and took a bottle of wine upstairs to enjoy while we soaked in the huge tub together.

"Well," Brody said, running his hands down my arms and pressing a kiss against my shoulder.  "I've now used this tub more since you've moved in than I had in the entire time I had this house before you moved in."

"It's a damn shame you didn't use it more," I said, shaking my head.  This tub might be my favorite part of the entire house.  I might like it even better than my little library.

"Mmmhmmm," he agreed, pressing his lips to my shoulder again, but getting closer to my neck.  I let my head fall back onto his shoulder as his lips made their way to my neck and his hands stroked down and then up my thighs.

It took us a minute to figure out a viable position for the tub and while we struggled and adjusted we also splashed out about half the water.  "I'm not cleaning that up," I said, smirking as Brody moved his leg and sloshed out another pint or so of water.  But it was the right adjustment and my words faded to a gasp as Brody thrust into me.

After we finished, we relaxed in the tub until the water wasn't warm anymore.  Then we cleaned up the water mess together, dried off, and got into bed.  "Thank you for everything this weekend," I said as I snuggled up next to him.  "And I really like our Sundays together."

"So do I," he replied, pushing a piece of my damp hair away from my face.  I shifted and got more comfortable, then easily drifted to sleep.

Attack of the Clones

I sat in the parking lot of the restaurant in my car until I saw Nadine and Jon's car pull up and park.  I got out, feeling nervous again, and walked towards them.  By the time I got there, everyone was out of the car and I couldn't hide my smile as I watched a small boy bounce around, excitedly talking to Nadine about something.

"Hi again," I said in greeting.  The little boy stopped and stared awkwardly at me for several seconds before breaking into a huge grin.  I smiled back.

Nadine introduced us.  "Sarah, AJ, this is Olivia.  Olivia, this is Sarah.  She's 14.  And this is AJ, he's--"

"NINE!  I'm nine!" AJ shrieked joyfully, before turning back to Nadine.  "Can we go inside?  I'm hungry!"

Jon chuckled.  "These kids can eat.  You'd never believe it, with how small they are."

"Actually, I would believe it," I replied.  I looked at Sarah.  She was peering sullenly at me through a curtain of long, blonde hair with bright purple streaks.  Aside from the purple streaks and the scowl, she was the spitting image of 14-year-old me.  It was actually a little off-putting.  She was tiny--they both were, and any lingering doubt I might have had about whether or not these kids were related to me was wiped away.

"Hi Sarah," I said to her, smiling kindly.  "It's nice to meet you."

"Hi," she replied, her voice so soft I barely heard her.  She didn't smile, she didn't say anything else.  Just stared up at me.

"Have you been here before?" I asked, motioning towards the restaurant we were starting to walk towards.  She shook her head silently.  "Me neither.  I haven't lived here very long.  I've heard it's good."  She nodded, looking for a second as though she was going to speak, then she lowered her eyes and said nothing.

Ahead of us, AJ was babbling away to Nadine and Jon.  His sandy blonde hair flopped into his eyes from his cowlick just like mine does when it's shorter.  I suddenly felt completely overwhelmed by the fact that these people were the relatives of a father I never knew, were my relatives, my siblings.  Once we were seated, I excused myself to go to the bathroom, but slipped outside instead.  I pulled my phone out and dialed Lauren's number, praying she'd pick up.

"Hey Liv!  How'd the meet and greet go?" she asked cheerfully when she answered.  I sighed in relief.

"I'm having lunch with them and the kids.  The kids, Lauren.  My god, they're like....mini mes.  It's so weird."

"Wait, you're doing what?  With the kids?  Seriously?  Wow.  Are you okay?"  She paused for a second then said, "You're not okay, because you're calling me when you should be eating lunch with them."

"I don't know.  I was fine, but then I just got really overwhelmed.  This was a bad idea.  Maybe I should just go.  I should have just stuck with meeting Nadine and Jon today, and met the kids another time.  I'm freaking out."  My hands were starting to shake and I sat down heavily on a bench near the door.

"Breathe, Olivia," Lauren prompted me.  "If you need to go, then go.  I'm sure they'll understand.  I think you might regret leaving now, though."  I knew she was right.  Just talking to Lauren had a weird, calming effect and I was already feeling a little better.

I heard a familiar male voice in the background, and Lauren said something back that I couldn't hear.  "Are you with Alex?  I can let you go, I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"Don't be dumb, Liv.  Yes, I'm with Alex, but you have nothing to be sorry for.  If I was busy, I wouldn't have answered.  We can talk as long as you need to."  Thank god for Lauren.

"Thanks, Laur.  I think I'm okay, I should get back in there.  Thank you for listening."  We said goodbye and hung up.  I took a deep breath and walked back inside.  I made my way back to the table.  "Sorry," I said sheepishly.  "I got a phone call I had to take.  I hope you weren't waiting for me."

"The kids ordered, but we haven't yet," Nadine said kindly.  I looked at the menu quickly and was ready to order when the server came back.  We ordered and Nadine instructed him to go ahead and bring the kids' food out as soon as it was ready.  Sarah sat across from me, and I'd notice her watching me from behind her hair occasionally.  As soon as I'd look over and smile, she'd return her eyes to her cell phone in her lap.  At one point, Nadine leaned over and whispered something to her.  Sarah scowled and shifted, presumably shoving her phone into her pocket.

Sarah barely said 3 words through the whole meal.  AJ, on the other hand, talked my ear off about school, movies he'd seen, and skiing lessons.  He had so much energy and enthusiasm, and I couldn't help but smile every time he talked.  Nadine and I tried hard to pull Sarah into the conversation, but she resisted our efforts.  My heart went out to her.  Her dad had died, she had been removed from her mom's care, moved to a new town, and entered the awkward adolescent phase, all within a few short years. No wonder she was sullen and quiet.

We were at the restaurant for over an hour, and I relaxed throughout the meal.  As we walked out, a small hand on my arm stopped me right outside the door.  I turned to Sarah, who said, "Do you think...could I text you sometimes?  Grandma is great, but she's kind of, well...old, and she doesn't get it sometimes."  I was surprised to hear full sentences coming from her, and even more shocked that she was asking to contact me.

"I'd be okay with that," I replied carefully, "but if you don't mind, I'd like to check with your Grandma first.  I don't know what her rules are, and I don't want you to get in trouble or anything."  I smiled warmly to show her that I was interested in talking to her more.

"That's fine, I don't think she'll mind," Sarah said.  Then, she dropped her head, hiding once again behind her cascading blonde and purple hair, and walked towards the car.  When we got there, I pulled Nadine aside and explained Sarah's request.  She beamed at me, her eyes shining.

"If you're okay with that, it would be wonderful.  She's been through so much, and we have her in therapy but she won't talk much with her therapist.  It would be so great for her to have someone to talk to."  Nadine looked like she was starting to get emotional again, and I started to feel a little overwhelmed for the second time in the last hour.

I nodded, though.  "Yeah, it's totally fine with me.  I'd be happy to chat with her sometimes.  I'll give her my number."

Nadine's face got stormy for a second, and she said, "Olivia?  I...worry about her sometimes, and well...if she tells you anything..." she trailed off, her eyes pleading with me to understand what she couldn't say.

"If she tells me anything concerning, I'll let you know right away," I assured her.  "Otherwise, her crushes and friend dramas are safe with me."  It was my way of letting her know that I'd tell her anything that was alarming but I wouldn't be providing a full report of every conversation.  That seemed to satisfy her and she nodded happily.  I walked over to Sarah and we exchanged cell numbers.  She flashed me the smallest, briefest smile before she got into the car--the first time she had smiled since she got out of the car.

AJ threw his arms around my waist in a surprising and hasty hug before bounding back into the car.  Just watching him run around was making me tired.  Jon shook my hand and patted my shoulder before climbing into the driver's seat.  Nadine turned to me.  "Would it be okay if I hugged you?" she asked tentatively.  I smiled and gave her a hug.  We said goodbye, with Nadine promising to let me know the next time they were in the area.

I got into my car and blew out the deep breath I had been holding while I walked from their car to mine.    I sat for a few minutes while I gathered myself, and I sent a quick text to Lauren that said, "You were right, glad I stayed.  Went well, tell you later."  Then I sent one to Brody letting him know I was on my way home and he could come over whenever he was done.

When I got home, I thought about calling my mom and filling her in, but I decided I wanted to wrap my head around it all a little more first.  Instead, I called James.

"Who can I investigate for you today, Miss Olivia?" he answered.

"Do you ever just say 'hi'?" I asked.

He laughed.  "Sometimes.  How are you?"

"I'm good.  I just wanted to let you know that I met Nadine and Jonathan today and it went well.  So thanks again for the info on them.  I really appreciate it."

"Good to hear.  And I told you, it's no problem and I was happy to help.  Did they tell you anything about the kids?" he asked curiously.

"Actually," I replied, "I met them too.  They look just like me.  It was really weird."

"Well, at least you know they're related to you then," he said.

"Yeah, they definitely are."  We talked for a few more minutes and then said goodbye.

I still felt a little unsettled but got up to take care of the cleaning I wanted to get done.  I was vacuuming when Brody walked in.  I quickly finished and turned off the vacuum.  He hugged me.  "Good thing you gave me that key," he said with a grin.  "I rang the doorbell twice and knocked."

"So what you mean is that you can't take a hint?" I asked, smirking at him. 

He laughed.  "I guess I'll go then," he said, starting to turn back towards the door.

"Noooo," I said, laughing.  I flopped on the couch and he took off his shoes and sat next to me. 

"How'd lunch go?" he asked, once we were settled. 

I grimaced and shrugged.  "I'm not entirely sure.  The kids are obviously related to me.  Something about that made me panic, and I almost left.  Lauren talked me down, but I literally walked out of the restaurant and called her, freaking out.  The boy, AJ, is 9, and he has tons of energy and was lots of fun.  Sarah is 14, and she said about 5 words until we were walking out.  She pulled me aside and asked if she could have my number.  Nadine says she's in therapy but doesn't talk to her therapist.  She looked so...beaten down.  But I bet there's a really sweet girl under there somewhere.  I ended up having a nice time and relaxing, so I'm glad I didn't leave, but it was definitely a little unnerving to see two carbon copies of younger me get out of their car."

"I bet," Brody replied, putting his arm around me.  "I'm really impressed that you went and met them, especially the kids.  I was thinking about it and I'm not sure I could have done it."   

"It was mostly curiosity.  I'm really glad I did it.  I hope Sarah gets in touch with me.  She looked like she could use a friend."

Brody stayed for a couple hours.  We ate leftover pork from Friday and did absolutely nothing else besides lay on my couch.  Brody left around 7 after we made plans to meet for dinner on Wednesday. 

I called Lauren and filled her in on how the rest of lunch went, and made plans to meet her, Kinsley, and Cassie for dinner on Tuesday.

After I hung up with Lauren, I thought about how I'd never have made plans to go out with friends so much in Wisconsin.  Between dinner with the girls, dinner with Brody, and happy hour on Thursday, I'd barely be home this week.  I was such a homebody in Wisconsin--granted, I was in school and had so much homework to do most of the time that I didn't have time to make fun plans, but it was crazy how much that had changed.  I wouldn't trade it for anything. 

The Sanders

A short bonus post for your Monday/Tuesday :)
________________________________________


I woke up way earlier than I needed to the next morning.  Brody was already up and I wandered downstairs to find him.  He was sitting at his kitchen table with his laptop.

"Good morning," he greeted me with a smile.  I frowned and walked over to his Keurig, searching through the K cups for something appealing.  "Sorry, I forgot I shouldn't talk to you before you've had your caffeine."

I turned and glared at him.  "Why are you so cheerful?" I grumbled.

"Because I'm home, and you're here, and I got to sleep in my own bed last night," he replied.  I selected a K cup and pulled out a mug.  When I had a cup of coffee in my hand, I went and sat across from him.

"Well, I guess that's a good reason," I admitted, smiling.  "Are you working already?"

"I was, yeah," he replied.  "I don't want to have to spend a ton of time at the office today."

I nodded.  "When everything settles down, you should take a vacation and go somewhere awesome that's not here.  Or Miami."

"We should take a vacation," he corrected me.  "You work your ass off too.  Where should we go?"

We spent the next half hour planning about 17 hypothetical trips, each one getting more extravagant and ludicrous, ending with a year long tour of every tropical island on the planet.  We made breakfast as we planned, but I was too anxious to eat much.  I tried to clean up after but Brody sent me up to shower.  I was nearly finished when his bathroom door opened and he joined me.  "You really must have missed me," I quipped as he wrapped his arms around me.  "I can't even get you away from me long enough to shower."

"I know, it's a good thing you have plans today or I don't think I'd make it into the office," he replied, sliding his hands over my wet skin and lowering his lips to my neck.

We stayed in the shower until the hot water ran out, then moved our party to the bathroom counter.

"Did you even get clean?" I asked him after, as I pulled a comb through my tangled hair. 

"Clean enough," he replied with a shrug.  I made a face at that and he laughed.  I quickly finished getting ready and then we parted ways, him to his office and me to the coffee shop I was meeting Nadine and Jonathan at.

I pulled up and parked at 10:23.  I debated whether I should sit in the car staring nervously at the clock or just go in and get a drink while I waited.  I decided to go in and I stepped out of the car at the same time an older couple stepped out of a car a few spots away.  We made eye contact and the woman's face immediately broke into a huge smile.

"Olivia?" she asked tentatively.  I nodded, mute.  "Oh, sweetheart, we are so happy to meet you," she gushed.  She looked as if she was considering hugging me, but thankfully she didn't.  "This is Jon, your--my husband."

"Hi," I said softly.  I cleared my throat nervously.  "It's nice to meet you."  Social skills.

"Let's go inside," Jon said in a gruff voice.  I nodded and led them in.  We got drinks and sat down at a small table in the corner.  Nadine was grinning from ear to ear and she looked so happy that I couldn't help but smile back. 

"So, Olivia," she said happily, "tell us about yourself.  How did you end up in Denver?  What do you do?"

I told them about my job, and about moving here for something new, and to escape the Wisconsin winters.  "Oh, they're the worst, aren't they?  The summers aren't much better!" Nadine agreed.  Her friendliness was infectious, and after I got over my initial nervousness, we spoke easily.  Jon was mostly quiet but would add a comment or question here and there.

When my stomach growled, I looked up at the clock was surprised to see it was nearly noon.  Nadine looked too, and made a surprised sounding noise.  "Oh, goodness," she said.  She turned back to me.  "Olivia, we can't thank you enough for taking the time to meet with us.  It really is a dream to be sitting here with you." Her voice was heavy with emotion, and she paused to collect herself.  "We have to pick up...well, I mean, we have lunch plans with our..."  She trailed off.

"It's okay," I said quietly.  "I know about his kids."

Her eyes widened, but then her face showed relief.  "You do?" she asked.

I felt my face get warm.  "Um, well," I started, not sure how to explain that I had them investigated without hurting their feelings.  "When you asked to meet me, I wasn't sure, and I, well, I have a friend who does investigation work, and..." I stopped, my face completely hot.

Nadine and Jon surprised me by bursting into laughter.  "Don't be embarrassed," Jon said.  "It was smart for you to do that."  I was relieved that they weren't upset.

"Do you want to meet them?" Nadine asked hesitantly. 

"The kids?" I asked, surprised.  "Do they...do they know about me?"  Nadine nodded.  "They're dying to meet you, but we told them they'd have to wait to see how things went today.  You could join us for lunch."  I paused, not sure if I was ready for that.  "Of course," she added hurriedly, "Don't feel obligated.  There's always another time, if you even want to meet them.  I understand this whole situation is probably awfully strange for you."

I thought for a second and then said, "Actually, I'd love to meet them."  They told me where they were going for lunch and I promised to meet them there.

When I got to my car and pulled out my phone, I saw I had a text from Lauren wishing me luck, and a text from Brody saying that he hoped it went well and to call him when I was done.  I texted Lauren back and called Brody.

"Done already?" he answered.

"No, actually, I'm about to go meet them and the kids for lunch," I replied.

"The kids?" Brody asked, sounding surprised.  "Really?  Wow.  So I take it it went well?"

"It did," I replied.  "They're really nice.  Nadine is so friendly and enthusiastic.  It was really weird at first, but it got less weird really quickly.  How's work?"

"Don't ask," he groaned.  "It's bad.  I'll be here for a couple more hours.  Can I stop by when I'm done?"

"Sure, I'm just going to go home and clean, come over whenever," I said.

"Okay, I will.  See you later then."  We said goodbye and I hung up and drove to the restaurant where we were having lunch, wondering if I was completely out of my mind to be meeting these kids. 

Conflict of Interest

I had my first therapy appointment on Friday, and the place was a 45 minute drive away.  I briefly considered canceling it, but I told myself I was being ridiculous and went.  Alyssa, the therapist, was young, upbeat, and had a good sense of humor.  I liked her right away.  I was able to tell her about what had happened with Jordan, plus we talked a little bit about what was going on right now with with the Sanders calling me.  We didn't talk about anything in much detail, as it was an initial appointment, but I felt comfortable, and I made an appointment to go back in two weeks.

 On Saturday, I called Nadine while I was at Brody's house.  "Hi, um, Mrs. Sanders?  This is Olivia."  I was so nervous to make this phone call that I was pacing the living room.  I tried sitting down in one of the chairs but stood right back up again.  Brody watched me pace. 

"Olivia!  Please call me Nadine.  Hello, dear," she said, sounding surprised and a little scattered.

"Hi," I said again, dumbly.  I shook my head at myself.  "I had some time to think and I'd like to meet you guys."  I cut right to the chase, not knowing what else to say.  There was silence in the other end for several long seconds.  Did I lose her?  "Mrs.--um, Nadine?  Hello?"

"Yes, yes, I'm here.  Sorry.  I'm just a little surprised, I didn't expect to hear back from you, honestly.  But I'm so happy to."  She sounded like she was near tears, and I was again surprised by her strong desire to find me and meet me.

"I know you live in Utah," I said, trying to redirect the conversation because I was a little uncomfortable with the display of emotion.  "What were you thinking?"

"Well, we try to get to Denver a few times a year.  We haven't been this winter yet, so I think we can perhaps arrange a weekend trip out there.  Our...well, we have some family in the area, so we can work our plans around your schedule and maybe we could meet for coffee or dinner or something.  Whatever you want.  We realize that this is probably a bit overwhelming for you, so we're willing to be flexible with what you want to do."

We talked for several more minutes, choosing a weekend that worked for both of us.  We decided to get coffee on the Sunday morning of that weekend, because I worked on Saturday.  She made no mention of the kids, and I didn't ask about them.  When I hung up, I blew out a shaky breath and sat down heavily on the couch next to Brody.  He squeezed my leg gently and I slid my fingers between his.

"So, three weeks, huh?" he asked.

I nodded.  "I didn't expect it to be so soon," I admitted.  "I'm not sure how I feel about that."

Brody looked like he was about to reply, but his phone rang.  He rolled his eyes and pulled it out of his pocket.  "Just a sec," he told me.  He answered it and spoke for a couple minutes.  "Sorry," he said after hanging up.

"It's okay," I replied.  "How is work, anyway?  It seems like you haven't been getting as many calls."

"It's been good since Pete and Neil started taking calls too," he said, putting his arm around me.  "Cassie has the next round of interviews set up, so hopefully we'll find a couple people and I can cut down my hours a little in general soon."  I liked the sound of that.

The rest of the weekend was low key.  We decided to stay in Saturday night, but we went out to brunch with Lauren, Alex, Kinsley, Christian, and Kendra on Sunday.  After brunch, Brody, Christian, and Alex went off to do guy things, and Lauren, Kinsley, Kendra and I went shopping.  I didn't find anything I felt like buying, but Lauren and Kendra both found a ton.  It was nice to hang out with them, in any case.

On Monday I was finishing up the contact note for my last client before lunch  when my desk phone rang.  I hardly ever used it, and I was surprised when Brody was on the other end.  "I tried your cell but it went straight to voicemail," he said.  I told him it must have died, and he practically interrupted me.  "Can we get lunch?"

I pulled up my schedule to double check, but I had two hours scheduled for lunch today because I was hoping to get ahead of some of my paperwork.  "Yeah, you have good timing, I'm just finishing up and I have a couple hours.  Is everything okay?"  He sounded weird.

"No, not really.  I'll tell you about it at lunch."  We made plans to meet in 20 minutes.  I finished my note and grabbed my stuff and left.

Brody was already there when I got there, pacing outside the door.  "Hi," I greeted him.  He gave me a perfunctory kiss on the cheek but he was obviously distracted.

Once we were settled with our food (and he had yet to say a word besides "hi") I looked at him and said, "Brody, what's going on?"

He rubbed his jaw and took a deep breath before talking.  "My dad is in a lot of trouble," he started.  I thought of the night he showed up at Brody's house and immediately grew nervous.  "I got a call today, from the police, or the FBI, or someone...I don't even know.  He's gone.  They think he left the country."

I stared at him.  "But...why?" I asked, confused.

"I don't know.  They wouldn't tell me what they were investigating, just that they were investigating him for some suspicious financial activity."  I continued to stare at him.  I had no idea what to say.  "Liv, if I hadn't left the company when I did..." he trailed off, but I knew exactly where he was going with it.

"Wow," I said, finally.  "So now what?"

He shrugged.  "The investigators know he was out here, so they want to talk to me a little more.  I've got a phone conference scheduled with them tomorrow.  I don't think there's anything else I can do, though." 

"Is there anything I can do?" I asked.  I tilted my head, trying to make eye contact with him.  He had been staring over my shoulder, but brought his eyes back to mine. 

"Can I stay at your house tonight?" he asked. 

"Of course," I replied.  "Is that it?"  He nodded.  We finished our lunch quietly.

"Are you going back to work?" I asked with concern as we walked out.

"I don't have a choice," he replied.  "I probably shouldn't have left for lunch, but I needed a break."  I nodded.  "I'll see you tonight," he said, when we got to my car.  He hugged me tightly and kissed me before pulling open my car door for me.  He leaned in and kissed me again, then shut the door carefully.

I focused hard on my clients for the rest of the day and managed to distract myself from thinking about Brody's dad.  When I got home, I started making dinner.  Brody walked in at about 7:30, right as I was finishing up.

"Excellent timing," I said with a grin.  He smiled weakly back.  I grabbed a beer out of my fridge and handed it to him as he walked into the kitchen, yanking off his tie.  He took it from me and caught me around the waist.

"Thank you," he murmured as he pulled me against his side.  I slid my arms around his waist and rested my head against his shoulder.  We stood like that for well over a minute, before I pulled away to turn off the stove.

"Are you hungry?" I asked.  He shrugged.  I handed him a plate, knowing he'd eat anyway.  He put food on it and sat down, pushing things around his plate.

I sat too, and was just taking my first bite when he suddenly said, "I got another phone call this afternoon."  I chewed and looked at him expectantly.  "It was the chairman of the board of my dad's company.  They want to hire me as a temporary consultant to help them straighten out this mess."  I froze, staring at him.

"So, does that mean...?" I couldn't finish my sentence.

He nodded.  "If I do it, they want me down there for a couple weeks.  They want me to fly down on Wednesday."

"Wednesday?" I squeaked.  I took a breath and cleared my throat.  "It's Monday.  And isn't it some sort of conflict of interest?"  I didn't like the idea of him going to Miami at all.  For one, it brought up bad memories of the last time he went...but much more importantly, I was worried about him getting involved in something he didn't need to be involved in, and adding to the stress and high emotion of the situation.

I could barely listen as he explained how it would work and why, as long as the investigators cleared it, it wouldn't be a problem.  "Liv," he said gently, when he was finished explaining.  "It won't be like last time."  I didn't say anything, not sure how to explain what I was really worried about.  "If you really don't want me to go, I won't."

I blinked at him in surprise.  "Really?" I asked, not sure if I had heard him right.

"Really," he said firmly.  "And if I do go, it will be totally different.  We're in a different place in our relationship, and I'd only be going for two weeks, three at the most.  And I don't work for the company anymore so they can't make me stay.  But if you're uncomfortable with it, I'll tell them no."

"No," I said quickly.  "I don't want you to do that.  I mean, I really, really appreciate that you'd say no for me.  But I'm okay with it.  Well, 'okay' probably isn't the right word, because I don't love it, but I'll live.  I'm really glad that you gave me the chance to weigh in though."  I stopped, abruptly cutting off my own rambling.  Brody laughed.  "Actually though, that's not really what I'm worried about."  Brody looked at me curiously.  "I'm worried about you.  This is a lot to take on."

"I'll be okay," he assured me.

"That's what I'm worried about," I replied.  "You'll say that, but will you really be?"

"You could come with me," he suggested.  We both knew that I couldn't, though.  

"I'd love to, if I wasn't still brand new at my job," I responded with a frown.

Brody helped me clean up after dinner and we went straight to bed.  He was completely worn out from a long day and the news about his dad, and I was feeling completely unmotivated to do anything but sleep.  It took me over an hour to to fight back the bad feeling I had long enough to fall asleep.

Too Much Information

On Thursday morning, James called.  I called him back over my lunch break.

"Hey Liv, I'm finished with your stuff," he greeted me.

"Already?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah, I told you it wouldn't take long.  When do you want it?  We can meet at the office if you want to.  Jordan is out of town, so he won't be around.  I have time later this afternoon, otherwise I'm pretty open tomorrow.  Or we can figure something else out."

I thought for a second.  I didn't really want to wait until tomorrow, now that I knew he was finished.  "What time this afternoon?" I asked.  "I should be out of here by 5, and I could come right over.  I don't want to keep you too late though.  I'm off all day tomorrow, so I could do anytime then."

"Around 5 would be perfect, actually," he replied.  He gave me the address and directions to his office before we hung up.

I called Brody.  "James is done already," I told him.  "I'm going to meet him after work."

"That was fast," he commented.  "Do you want me to go with you?"

I was surprised.  "You want to go with me to see James?" I asked.

"No, I don't want to go with you to see James," he replied.  "I want to support you though, and if you want me to go with you, I can pretend that I don't want to smash his face in for a little while."

 I laughed.  "Well, I appreciate the offer.  I think I'll be okay though.  You're still coming over tonight?"  He confirmed that he was.  "That's good enough for me.  I'll tell you about it then."

"Liv, I mean it.  If you change your mind, let me know.  I'll go.  And I'll be nice.  I appreciate that he's doing this for you."

"Thank you.  It means a lot that you'd go.  I really am okay to go on my own though, I promise," I assured him.  We both had to get back to work, so we hung up soon after.  After I hung up, I was completely distracted, wondering if James found anything interesting.  I powered through the rest of the day and left right after my last client.

I made it James's office by 5:15.  Their receptionist was gone for the day, but James came out shortly after I walked into the office.  He hugged me before leading me to his office.  I sat down and looked at him anxiously.  He smiled reassuringly and slid a folder over to me.  "Paper copies of the stuff I'm going to show you," he said, tapping on the screen of an iPad.

"So," he started.  "Nadine and Jonathan Sanders are indeed Alan Sanders's parents, and your paternal grandparents--biologically, anyway.  As far as I can tell at least."  I nodded.  "They live in Utah, like they told you, in a town called Price.  It's a pretty small town, and it's about a 6 hour drive from here.  Alan Sanders was their only son, and he was born when Nadine was 20 and Jonathan was 23.  They were married about 4 months before he was born."

I held up a hand to stop him.  "So they're, what...?  66 and 69 now?" I asked.

James nodded.  "Nadine is 65 actually, but she'll turn 66 soon.  They actually seem pretty active.  There was lots of stuff on their volunteer work and community activities."  He looked at me to see if I had any other questions and I shook my head.  "Okay.  Nadine was a teacher's assistant and a substitute teacher for most of her working life.  Jonathan did a lot of factory work, but he went to dental school when he was 40 years old and spent 15 years as a dentist after that.  They're both retired now."

He paused and looked at me carefully.  "Liv, this part might be a little surprising, so just let me know if you have questions or need a second to turn it over in your head, okay?"  I nodded, anxious and curious.  "Alan had a 14 year old daughter and a 9 year old son.  Nadine and Jonathan currently have custody of both of them."

I let the information sink in for a second, then asked, "So, they're my...half-siblings?"

James nodded.  "I'm guessing you've probably realized that there's a possibility you had half-siblings around, since you never knew your--um, Alan, but it's always a little weird to have it be confirmed," he said sympathetically.  I didn't say anything.  I was surprised, even though James was right--I had certainly considered that Alan might have other children.  But it was easy to forget about it when you had no way to know for sure.  Now I knew for sure.  I hadn't thought that I might get information like this when I asked James to look into Nadine and Jonathan.

"If you want, I can step out if you need a couple minutes," James offered.  He started to stand.

"No," I said quickly.  "I'm okay."  He raised his eyebrows like he wasn't sure if he believed me, but nodded and gave me a little more general information about Nadine and Jonathan.

Finally, he said, "I don't have much more right now.  If you want me to, I can look further into anything I've told you today.  Like if you wanted more information about the kids, or Alan."

"I think this is okay for now," I said slowly.  I looked up at him.  "Thank you, James.  I really appreciate this.  I might have a couple more questions after I wrap my head around it all, but I'm good for now."

"Just say the word, and I'll see what else I can find for you," he replied.  We both stood and he put his arm around my shoulders as he walked me to the door.  "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked, when we got to the door.

"I am.  I just feel sort of weird right now.  I might be less okay once it all sinks in, but I think I'm fine," I replied honestly.

James nodded.  "That's pretty normal.  Will you let me know what you decide you're going to do?"  I agreed to do that, and he wished me luck and hugged me.  I thanked him again and walked out to my car.  

When I got to my car, I tried to call Brody, but he didn't answer. I debated just going right home, but the bar they were at for happy hour was on the way, so I decided to stop. When I got inside, I was surprised to see that Brody was already there.  He was sitting with Lauren, Kinsley, and Alex.  Small group tonight, which was good.  Brody got up and hugged me when I made it to the table.  "Was it okay?" he asked quietly.  I nodded.  He pulled back and examined my face before sitting down again.  I sat next to him.  All four of them were looking at me expectantly, so someone must have filled Alex in.

"They seem legit.  And like nice people," I said, with a shrug. 

"And?" Lauren asked.  "Is that it?"

"And...I have a half brother and sister," I replied.  "They're living with my--with them."

"Wow," Brody and Kinsley said at the same time. 

Lauren shrugged.  "You always figured that was likely though, right?" she asked.

"It's not the same to think of the possibility and actually have it confirmed, Laur," Kinsley admonished.

"I did think it was likely, but yeah.  It's weird.  Especially now that they contacted me, you know?" I replied.

"So what are you going to do?" Alex asked curiously.

"I have no idea," I admitted.  "I thought this would help me decide, but I don't know that it did. I think I got just a little too much information and now I'm overwhelmed again."

Brody took my hand and said, "Once it all sinks in a little more, you might have a better idea."  I nodded.  They let me change the subject and I stayed for about 20 more minutes before I needed to get out of there.

"I'm going to take off.  If you want to stay longer, that's okay," I said to Brody.

He shook his head. "No, I'll come too."  We said goodbye and headed out.  When we were back at my house, Brody hugged me again.  "How are you really?" he asked.  "That must have been a bit of a shock."

"I honestly have no idea.  I don't feel nearly as surprised or upset as I think I should feel, if that makes any sense.  I mean, it was surprising enough that she called me out of the blue, what's a couple of half siblings on top of it?"  I laughed.  "I am a little curious how she found me, though."

"Maybe you're not the only one with a private investigator for a friend," Brody said with a shrug.

"Yeah, maybe not," I agreed.  Even though I felt okay overall, I was worn out, and we went to bed early.  I was glad that the next day was one of my Fridays off.

I got up when Brody left the next morning, and went to the gym and did some stuff around the house.  After lunch, I called my mom.

"Hi, honey, how are you?" she answered.

"I'm okay, Mom," I replied.   Then I filled her in on what James had found out.

"Wow," she said, when I had finished.  "Well, I can't say I'm surprised, and while I'm sure you're not surprised either, I bet it was a bit of a shock to hear.  How are you holding up?"

"I think I'm okay," I said slowly.  "I don't really know.  I'm really confused how they found me.  And having half-siblings kind of freaks me out, but I'm not really sure why."  My mom was sympathetic, and asked a few more questions, but she refused to give me advice about whether or not to meet them.  When I hung up with her, I called James. 

"How are you doing, Liv?" he asked, after we had exchanged greetings.

"I wish everyone would stop asking me that," I answered honestly.  "I have a question though, do you have a couple minutes?"

"Go for it," he replied.

"This might sound really dumb, but how do you think she found me?  She said she'd been looking for me for a few years."

"Hmmm," James mused.  "Well, it's not very likely she found you with a lucky Google search if she'd been looking for a few years without finding anything, but let me look up a few things.  Can I put you on speaker?  There's only two other people here and I'm in my office with the door closed."  I told him it was fine, and a second later I heard computer keys tapping.  "Nope, neither your address or phone number are listed here..." he started.  More keys tapping.  "You run a 22 minute 5k?" he asked with surprise.

I laughed.  "Hooray for Google," I replied.  "No, not really.  I mean, I used to, but I don't run much anymore."

A few more keys tapping.  Then, "What are your Facebook privacy settings like?"

"I have it locked down as tightly as their shady privacy settings allow," I replied.

After a second he said, "Yeah, I can't even find your page here.  Okay...what's your mom's first and maiden name?"  I told him.  "Did you ever legally have Alan's last name?"

"No, it was Bern until Chris adopted me, and it's been Saffiano since."

Another pause and more keys.  "I obviously see information about you here, but nothing that would lead me to even know you live in Denver, much less your phone number.  If I can't do it with a Google search, a 65 year old woman certainly can't," he said confidently.  "I'm guessing they used their own investigator."

"Wow," I replied.

"What?" James asked curiously.

I paused for a minute, trying to figure out how to put my feelings into words.  "I guess I'm just surprised that finding me was important enough for them to pay someone to search for me for a couple of years.  It feels really weird and kind of high pressure, but also...touching, kind of.  I don't know how much sense that makes."

"I think it makes perfect sense," he assured me.  "Look, if you want, I can probably find out if they're using someone.  I'm confident that they are, but if it matters to you, I can try to confirm it."

"No, that's okay.  I trust your educated guess."  I paused.  "I know I thanked you yesterday, but I really can't even tell you how helpful this has been.  And I appreciate that you've just answered my questions and did what I asked for without asking me any questions about why any of it matters.  So thank you."

"Liv, I meant it when I said I'd do anything else I could to help.  I'm glad I could find you what you needed.  Have you decided what you're going to do?"

For the first time since Nadine called, I felt confident in what my plan was.  "Yeah.  I'm going to meet them."

Good Deed

On Monday, I had dinner with Lauren and Kinsley.  I filled them in on the phone call I had gotten, and they were both shocked.  Kinsley was especially confused, since she didn't know about my parents, so I had to back up and explain that first.

When I was done explaining, Lauren asked if I was going to meet them.  "I have no idea," I replied, shaking my head.  "I'm definitely curious, but what if they're crazy people and they just want to turn me into a skin suit or something?"

Kinsley laughed and Lauren rolled her eyes.  "You're way too small to make a good skin suit.  A lampshade is far more likely."  I groaned. 

"I'd be a little nervous too," Kinsley reassured me.  "I mean, you don't really know anything about them.  And it's sort of weird that they just found you."

"Hey, why don't you have James check them out?" Lauren suggested, her face lighting up. 

"Oh, good idea!" Kinsley agreed.  I considered this for a minute and realized it was a decent idea.  We talked a little longer about it, then conversation turned to other topics.

Brody called while I was getting ready for bed later that night.  We talked about our days a little, then he asked me, "So, make any headway on deciding if you're going to meet them or not?"  I told him about my conversation with Lauren and Kinsley, and that I was thinking about asking James for some help.  I was curious what Brody would think of the idea, since he wasn't James's biggest fan.  "That's not a half bad idea," he admitted.  "I think you should do it, if you think having some more information will help you decide."

"I don't think it can hurt," I replied.  We talked awhile longer, making plans to have dinner the next day before saying goodnight.  I planned to call James the next day.

I called James on my lunch break, hoping he'd answer.  He did, on the second ring.

"Hey Liv," James said with his normal easy confidence.  I returned his greeting.  "What's up?" he asked curiously.

"I want to hire you," I replied.

"You want to hire me?" he repeated.  "For what?"

I told him about what I wanted.  It ended up being a long explanation because he didn't know about my family situation, and when I finally finished, he was quiet for several seconds.  Finally, he said, "Wow.  Okay, so how much information do you want?"

"Just the basics, I think.  I mean, I literally know next to nothing about them.  I don't even know Nadine's husband's name.  My main concern is that I want to know if they're actually who they're saying they are, and then just a little background info so I can decide if I want to meet them or not."

"So basically you know what to know who they are, where they live, what they do, if they're murderers, that kind of stuff?" he asked.  I confirmed with a laugh.  "Yeah, I can do that.  But I'm not going to let you pay me for that.  I can knock it out in an hour, provided I don't stumble upon anything too outrageous."

"So?  This is your job, you should be compensated for it," I protested.

He laughed.  "Not a chance, Liv.  Let me do this for you.  If it helps, we can call it my good deed for the year."  We argued back and forth for a little longer, with him finally talking me into just letting him do it.

"So what do you need from me?" I asked, when it was clear that I was going to lose the battle.

"Anything you have.  Sanders is a really common last name, so any identifying information that can help me narrow the information down right away will help.  Date or place of birth, address, stuff like that."

I frowned and thought for a second.  "I don't know anything but her name and their home phone number," I admitted.  "Oh, wait!  What about information on their son?  Would that help?  My mom might know some of that stuff."

"That should work," he replied.  "Send it to me in an email.  I'll take a look tomorrow or the day after and let you know when I've got some stuff for you, okay?"  I agreed and we said goodbye.  I called my mom as soon as we hung up and told her what I needed.  15 minutes later I had an email with Alan Sanders's date of birth, place of birth, and some criminal history stuff.  I forwarded it to James and got back to work.

After work I met Brody for dinner.  He kissed me lightly and asked if I had called James.  I told him about our conversation, but then I changed the subject.  I'd had about enough of it now.

We had a really nice dinner together.  Brody's phone didn't ring at all.  I felt like I had forgotten what it was like to have dinner with him without his phone interrupting at least once.  I was getting used to it, and it didn't bother me nearly as much as it used to, but I still loved having a meal with him without it ringing.

When we got to my house, we sprawled across the couch, finishing an open bottle of wine from the weekend.  "I was thinking," Brody said suddenly. I sat up and raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.  "Feel free to say no, but I was wondering if it would be okay if I left some clothes here.  Not like, moving in or anything, but a couple shirts, a jacket, pants.  That way if we ever decide spur of the moment to do something after work, or if I'm stuck at work late, or if I just want to stay, I don't have to worry about not having clothes for work."  He slid his eyes sideways to look at me, and he looked a little nervous.

I grinned.  "I love that idea," I said.

"You do?" he asked, looking a little surprised and a lot relieved.

"Yes!" I exclaimed.  "It sucks when I really want you to stay but you don't have clothes.  And if it means I get to spend more time with you, even if it's sleeping, I'm definitely in favor of it."

 

My what?

We made it to 300,000 today!  You guys are awesome.  If you missed Alex's post on the date, I put that one up yesterday.  I'll put up a post every evening from today (or yesterday, I guess!) until Thursday night this week to celebrate 300k views.  Thank you all so much for reading, you rock!
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After having another (well-timed) nightmare on Thursday night, I decided to make some phone calls on Friday to the potential therapists I had pinpointed.  One wasn't taking new clients, one was a little rude on the phone, and the third one I called didn't answer.   I left a message and went to the gym.

When I was on my way home, my phone rang.  I answered without really looking, and was surprised that it was the therapist that I had left a message for.  We talked for a few minutes, and since I got a good vibe from her, I made an appointment.

I cleaned and did laundry the rest of the day, enjoying my Friday off.  This wasn't my normal Friday off, but I had used one of my abundant PTO days at the urging of my boss, who informed me that they accrue so fast that if you don't use one for the hell of it every once in awhile, you end up with more than you know what to do with.  A truly awful problem to have, obviously. 

Lauren came over when she got done with work.  Since I had to work the next day, we ordered dinner and lounged in my living room with a bottle of wine.  I heard more about having sex with Alex than I ever needed to know, but I kept my mouth shut because I loved that Lauren was actually dating someone and happy about it.  I couldn't resist teasing her a little, though.

On Saturday, my work day went fast and I decided to stop at the gym on my way home.  I did a quick workout and then went home.  I had just gotten out of the shower when my doorbell rang.  I quickly pulled on a pair of pants and a sweatshirt and was halfway down the stairs when it rang again.  I opened the door and was surprised to see Brody standing there.  We had plans to go out later, but he was going to be at work for most of the day today so I wasn't planning on seeing him for a few more hours. 

"Hi," I greeted him.  "Sorry, I had just gotten out of the shower.  I thought you'd still be at work."

He kissed me on the cheek and said, "I had planned on still being at work, but I just couldn't stay there any longer."  I ran upstairs to finish getting dressed, then came back down.  I told Brody about making a therapy appointment, and he seemed happy that I had done it.  I wanted to ask him if had heard any more from his dad, but he'd made it pretty clear over the past couple days that he'd prefer to just forget about the entire incident, so I bit my tongue.  I had just walked into the kitchen to get something to drink when my phone rang.

I looked at it, but didn't recognize the number on the screen.  "Hello?" I answered, holding up a finger to Brody.

"Hi, is this Olivia Saffiano?" came the voice from the other end, which sounded as though it belonged to an older women.

"Yes it is, who is this?" I asked in confusion.

"Olivia, my name is Nadine Sanders.  I'm, well...I'm your grandmother."

I wasn't sure if I had heard correctly.  My maternal grandmother was dead, and Chris's mother's name certainly wasn't Nadine Sanders.  That only left... "My what?" I asked, not willing to acknowledge that this might be my biological dad's mother.  I made my way over to the couch and sat down hard next to Brody.  I must have looked as weirded out as I felt, because he looked concerned and seriously confused.  I pulled the phone away from my ear, stabbing at the speaker button so he could hear.

"...our son, Alan, was your father, though I guess you probably don't know him as your father," she was saying, when her clear voice came through the speaker.  Brody's eyes widened.

"I'm sorry," I said, interrupting her.  "Did you say 'was' my father?'  What do you mean 'was'?"

She paused, then cleared her throat.  "He died a couple years ago."

"Oh," I said, unable to form a more complete thought.  Brody was staring at the phone in amazement.

After an awkward silence, Nadine continued.  "We've been trying to track you down for several years, dear.  Imagine our surprise when we finally found you, and discovered that you're in Colorado!  Your grandfath--um, my husband and I live in Utah, and if you're interested, we'd really love to meet you."

I didn't respond.  My brain was reeling.  Finally, I stuttered, "Wow, I'm not really sure what to say.  Would it be okay, I mean, can I... I think I need a few days to wrap my head around this." 

"Of course, dear," she said kindly.  She asked if her number came up when she called, and I read the numbers on my screen back to her.  "That's our home number.  I'm afraid we're not much good with cell phones and that email nonsense, but you can leave us a message if we're not home.  We'd really love to meet you."

I hung up and sat staring at the silent phone for several seconds.  Then I looked up at Brody.  He was watching me carefully, his face concerned.  "Are you okay?" he asked gently.

"I don't know," I replied.  "That was really, really weird."

"It was," he said, sliding his fingers between mine and squeezing my hand.  "I'm sorry about your father."

I shrugged.  "He was never my father," I responded simply.  I settled back against his chest and he wrapped his arms around me tightly.  He didn't ask questions, and I was glad.  He held me silently while I struggled with my racing thoughts.  "I need to call my mom," I said finally, sitting up.

"Do you want me to go?" Brody asked.

I shook my head.  "No, I'd really prefer if you stayed, if you don't mind."

"Of course I'll stay," he said.  I reached for my phone, and held it for several seconds before calling home.

My dad answered.  "Is mom there?" I asked, skipping a greeting.

"She is, is everything okay Olivia?" he asked, sounding concerned.

"Fine, please, can I just talk to mom?" He called her to the phone, and when she answered, I said, "Mom, a lady named Nadine Sanders just called me."  My mom's sharp intake of breath on the other end told me she knew exactly who Nadine Sanders was.

"Oh honey," my mom said, "I'm sorry, that must have been quite a shock.  Wow.  I assume she told you who she is?"

"Yeah," I replied shortly.  "She did.  She--they want to meet me.  They live in Utah."  Then, as an afterthought, I added.  "Alan's dead."  Brody cringed at my bluntness.

My mom didn't say anything for a second, and I heard dad's voice in the background asking what was going on.  "Wow," she repeated.

"I'm sorry, that was not the way I planned on delivering that news," I said contritely.  "I'm just sort of in shock."

"I know honey, don't apologize.  I didn't think they'd ever contact you, or I would have warned you. I'm the one that should be sorry."

"Mom, you offered me the information and I turned it down, so...ugh, let's not argue about who should or shouldn't be sorry.  I just...I don't know what to do," I admitted.  "Did you know them?  His parents, I mean." I couldn't bring myself to call them my grandparents.

"I did, a little bit.  I met them once.  They seemed like perfectly lovely people.  A little young, but very nice and put together.  I always wondered how they managed to produce someone like Alan."  It was weird to finally, after 27 years, know my biological father's name--a factoid that I had spent almost as many years avoiding.

"Mom?" I asked tentatively.  "I think I might want to meet them.  Is that...will that upset you?"

"Liv, honey, I would have driven you to the prison to meet Alan if you had decided that's what you wanted.  This is a decision that is completely up to you, and I will support you completely, no matter what you decide to do.  I just want it to be your decision, and not a decision you've made because of what they want or what I want."  Relief washed over me.

"Thank you, mom.  I'm curious, more than anything.  I want to take a few days to think about it after the shock wears off, though."

"That sounds like a good idea," she replied.  "I'd be happy to try to answer any questions that you have."

"I think I'm okay for now," I said.  We said goodbye and I hung up.  I looked at Brody.  "Can we do something?" I asked.  "Like walk?  Or anything, really."  I jiggled my leg up and down, restless and overwhelmed.

Brody stood and stretched.  "Walking sounds good," he said, reaching for his shoes.  I didn't move from where I was sitting on the couch, shaking my leg and staring at the wall.  Brody put his shoes on and walked back to me.  "Hey," he said gently, reaching for my hands.  I let him pull me to my feet.  I stared at his chest, unable to slow the thoughts flying through my mind.  He tipped my chin up so our eyes met.  "You don't have to decide anything now.  And whatever you decide, your mom supports you, and I'll support you.  All you have to do is tell me what you need from me."

I nodded and leaned into him as he hugged me.  "For now, I need you to distract me, and I need to burn off some of this energy."

"Well, then you have two options," he said, grinning.  "One involves getting naked, and the other involves you putting your shoes on and me telling bad jokes while we walk."

I laughed.  "As much as I love getting naked with you, since I can't stop thinking about some lady who claims to be my grandmother, I think I'll go grab my shoes."

I turned and went upstairs to get my shoes, and he called up after me, "Knock knock!"

"Oh lord," I muttered under my breath, before calling back down, "Who's there?"

"Interrupting cow!" he yelled.

"Brody, everyone's heard this--"

"MOO!"  I couldn't help laughing as he completed the joke, despite my lack of participation.  "That's just a preview!" he called, when he finished laughing at himself.  I slipped my shoes on and tied them upstairs, giving myself a minute alone to take a few deep breaths.  Brody grinned at me when I came back downstairs.

"Are you seriously going to tell me all the bad jokes you know?" I asked.

"Yup," he replied, as we started out the door.  "Hey, do you know the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?"

I rolled my eyes.  "No, I have no idea."

"Beer nuts are $1.59, and deer nuts are under a buck!" he chortled.  He waggled his eyebrows at me, and I laughed in spite of myself.

"This is going to be a long walk," I said, shaking my head.