Roommates?

I got out of work late on Tuesday, so when I got to the restaurant where Kinsley, Lauren, Cassie and I had arranged to meet, they were already working on appetizers.  But this was the first time I have ever been stuck at this job later than I planned, so I considered it a win.

I greeted them and accepted the plate of random appetizers that Lauren offered me.  "I figured if we didn't save you some, you'd probably kill us," she said.

I rolled my eyes and when our server came I ordered a drink and we placed our food orders.  "So," Lauren said, after the server had left, "I have to tell you guys something and you're all going to freak out."  She stopped and didn't say anything else.

"Okay, and?" Kinsley said, prodding her impatiently.

"Alex asked me to move in with him."

"I'm sorry, what?!" I yelped, probably much too loudly for our setting.  Cassie was laughing and Kinsley was staring at Lauren with her mouth open.  "You're not going to do it, are you?"

Lauren didn't answer.  "You're going to do it?" Kinsley asked in shock.

"I don't know," she said finally.  "My apartment lease is almost up and they're raising the prices a ton.  I haven't found anything else that I like, which is how the whole thing even came up.  I'm running out of options."

"Lauren, you can move in with me," I suggested.  "Even if it's just for a little while until you find something.  You guys have only been dating for what?  Two months?  You can't move in with him."

She glared at me.  "You're the one that forced me into dating him," she accused me.  "You can't be mad if I consider moving in with him."

Kinsley and I exchanged looks.  "Laur?" Kinsley said tentatively.  "You're super defensive.  I get not feeling like you have options, but is that what's going on?  Do you really want to move in with him, or do you feel stuck?"

"I don't know," she moaned.  "I don't really want to move in with him, because it hasn't been very long, and because I'm not ready to give up my space.  But...now that he asked me, I'm scared if I say no that he'll be mad and it will make things weird."

"If he gets pissed that you don't want to move in with him after dating for two months then you're better off without him," Cassie pointed out.

"Says the girl fucking two guys at the same time," Lauren snapped.  We all looked at her in surprise.  Lauren was brutally honest and could be surly, but she was rarely downright rude.

"Like you've never done that," Kinsley tossed back, quickly jumping to Cassie's defense.

Lauren turned and was about to say something back when I interrupted.  "Okay, seriously, what the hell is going on here?" I asked. 

"I don't know," Lauren said, lowering her eyes.  "Sorry Cassie, that was shitty."  Cassie nodded.  "I never had a problem with people questioning my decisions when I was out doing whatever I wanted, but now that I have to consider someone else's feelings, I feel like everyone has an opinion and I'm not used to that."

"Look, do whatever you think is best for you," I said, "But if need a place to stay for awhile, I'll get my shit out of that second bedroom and it's all yours."

"Thanks," Lauren replied with a smile.  "I'll let you know, okay?"

Kinsley looked like she wasn't quite ready to drop the subject but I wasn't interested in a drama-filled dinner and quickly shoehorned us into more neutral territory.  The rest of dinner was uneventful, thankfully.

I was telling Brody about the conversation when we were having dinner together on Wednesday.  "Wait, you did what?" he asked after I told him that I offered my spare bedroom to her.  "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

I raised my eyebrows.  "I'm just using it for storing some of my stuff now.  Why shouldn't she stay with me for awhile if she needs a place?"

"Do you really want a roommate?" he asked carefully.

"No, not particularly, but I also don't want Lauren moving in with Alex if she's not ready to, just because she has nowhere else to go," I responded, struggling to keep my voice calm.

"But you're not responsible for her.  If Alex asked her to move in, and she does it, then she's his problem."  I blinked at him, completely speechless for a second.   "What?" he asked, seeing my face.

"That's one of my best friends you are calling a 'problem'," I replied through gritted teeth.

He shrugged.  "I didn't mean it like that.  I'm sorry, I'm just 30 years old and pretty anti-roommate at this point in my life, unless it was a significant other."

"Well it's a good thing you won't have to live with her," I snapped.  I continued eating silently, occasionally glaring at Brody like the very grown up 27 year old that I am.  He decided his best bet was to also remain silent, and we finished our meal quickly and silently.

"Do you still want me to come over?" he asked tentatively, as we walked out of the restaurant. 

"Do whatever you want," I replied.  "I don't have a roommate yet, if that factors into your decision."  I stalked towards where I had parked my car.  Brody easily kept up with me, and when we got there, he put a hand on my driver's door, preventing me from opening it. "What the hell, Brody?" I snapped.

"I can't decide what I'm going to do tonight until you tell me if you're going to continue acting like a child all evening," he said.  He was maddeningly calm, and I resented that, because I was pissed.

"I can't decide if I'm going to act like a child all evening until you tell me if you're going to keep judging my decisions of what to do with my own living space," I spat back.

"Okay, how about this," he replied.  "Let's go to your house and we can continue this there.  Is that okay?"  I nodded and he pulled open my car door for me and held it open while I got in.  He closed it carefully and walked back to his car.  I knew I was acting like a brat, but I hadn't expected him to be so negative about the whole situation.  I tried to calm down as I drove home, and I was feeling a little better by the time I pulled into my garage.  I turned on the outside light so Brody could see, and he walked in a couple minutes later.  I handed him a beer, my peace offering.

"I'm sorry that I was such a brat," I said, once we were both settled.  "I wasn't expecting you to be so negative about it, and then when you said Lauren would be 'Alex's problem' it really rubbed me the wrong way.  The way you said that you're 30 and anti-roommate felt like you were questioning my maturity.  And it all just felt like you were telling me what I could and couldn't do with my own house.  It's so easy for you because you have plenty of money and can pay your mortgage on your really great house, but to be completely honest, having someone to help out with my rent for a couple months is going to be really great for me."

Brody looked confused.  "You read way too much into that," he started matter-of-factly.  I glared at him.  "What?"

"I apologized and your response is that I read too much into it?"

"I really didn't mean any of those things the way you think I did, what am I supposed to say?" He looked like he was starting to get frustrated now.

"You're supposed to say that you're sorry for not thinking before you spoke," I huffed.

"This is ridiculous," Brody muttered.

That was the final straw for me.  I stood up and turned to him.  "Okay, well I'm going to bed.  I'm not a big enough child to kick you out and make you go all the way home, so feel free to stay, but enjoy the couch."  I turned and walked up the stairs, proud of myself for resisting the urge to stomp the whole way up. 

I was fuming by the time I got upstairs, as if every step I went up had made me more angry.  In the long run, yeah, this was a stupid thing to fight about.  Mostly because it could have been over if he just would have apologized for being a judgmental jerk about it all.  But one of my biggest pet peeves is when people tell me that something I'm pissed about is a stupid thing to be mad about.  I had to seriously talk myself out of stomping back down the stairs and yelling at him.

I decided to take a quick shower, hoping it would help me calm down.  My quick shower turned into 20 minutes, but I felt a lot better when I got out.  I dried off, brushed my teeth, and pulled on a pair of a shorts and a t-shirt, then climbed into bed.  It was only a little after 9, but a little extra sleep never hurt anyone.

I had been in bed for about 5 minutes when I heard footsteps on the stairs.  I rolled over so my back was to the door.  I was honestly surprised that Brody hadn't just left.  He opened the door and knocked lightly on the frame.  I sullenly remained silent.  "I know you're not asleep because I just heard you roll over when I was walking up the stairs," he said.  I still didn't say anything.  He took my silence for acceptance of his presence and sat on the edge of the bed.  I kept my back to him.

After several seconds of my petulant silence, he laid down and scooted over next to me.  I stiffened slightly as he slipped his arm around me.  "I'm sorry," he said softly.  "I think we can both agree that I have no actual idea why you're so angry, but I'm ready for you to explain it to me so I can apologize properly.  We've both been so stressed out lately and I think this got a lot uglier than it needed to."

I considered this for several seconds, then wiggled out of his grasp and sat up.  "I'm so angry because the things you said, while you didn't mean anything by them, hit a nerve.  And when I told you that they hit a nerve, instead of apologizing, you just blew it off and put it on me by saying that I read too much into it.  Then you said that it was ridiculous, which sent me over the edge because I was mad, and if I'm mad, regardless of how dumb it is, it should be important to you.  Just like if you were mad and I thought it was dumb, it should still be important to me because you're mad about it, whatever it is."

"Okay, that makes more sense to me.  I'm sorry, I really didn't mean anything negatively against Lauren or your maturity, it came out all wrong and it was dumb of me to say.  I actually think you're far more mature than most people in their mid to late 20s.  You're definitely more mature than I ever was when I was 27.  Probably more mature than I am now.  And you're right, I reacted to you poorly here.  I was frustrated and I just gave up.  I'm sorry for blowing you off."

"Thank you.  And do you know how hard it was for me to apologize first?" I asked, with a small smile.  "You've ensured that that will never happen again." 

"Shit, I really screwed that up, huh?" he replied, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me back down next to him.  "Can I tell you why I reacted the way I did to you telling Lauren she could move in?"

"Of course," I said.

"I spend a lot of time here," he pointed out.  "And a lot of it is after work, and it's nice to just come here and be with you and be able to relax.  It will be different with someone else here, and I very selfishly don't want to share you and your space with another person."

"That's fair," I replied.  "I hadn't really thought of that.  And really, I don't want to share my space for a long time either.  But I also can't leave Lauren hanging.  Hopefully she finds something else soon, or she doesn't stay here for long.  I'm reasonably certain she's not going to move in with Alex.  And maybe we can coordinate for her to spend a night or two a week with Alex so we can still have some privacy here too.  I know she already does that now.  And even though it's a little more driving, we always have your house."

"You're right, we'll make it work," he said, pressing his face against my neck.  "Do you still want me to sleep on the couch?"

I laughed.  "No, you can stay here.  Thank you for coming up to talk.  And I'm sorry that I acted like such a brat about it all."   

"I forgive you.  After all, we have to account for your limited maturity, right?" he teased me.  I shrieked and tried to scoot away from him in mock anger, but he held me tightly and laughed as I struggled fruitlessly against his grasp. 

"You're a jerk," I gasped, after I had given up on getting away. 

"Yet somehow, you still love me," Brody said.

"Somehow," I agreed.