Sunday, November 30, 2014

Resignation

On Monday I got to the office early and quickly typed up my resignation letter.  I printed and signed it and shoved it in my drawer.  I planned to talk to Jeremy at the end of the day.   I was nervous all day, and finally around 3 I decided I might as well get it over with.  I walked to his office and knocked lightly on the door frame.  He looked up and smiled broadly, and I felt guilty.

"Hi, Olivia, what's up?" he asked, gesturing for me to come in.

I walked in and sat down, then handed over my letter.  His face darkened a little before he even read it.  "Well," he said, when he had finished.  "I'm surprised and disappointed.  You're an excellent employee and therapist.  Is there anything we can do to keep you?"

"I got a really excellent offer, and the position I'm taking is fully office based, so probably not," I said carefully.

"That's too bad," he responded, frowning.  "Well, I appreciate you giving proper notice at least.  And I want you to know that if for some reason things don't work out there, you'll always have a spot here.  And if you ever need a reference in the future, I'd be happy to do what I can for you."

"Thank you, Jeremy.  I really appreciate that," I said sincerely.

I announced my resignation at Tuesday's staff meeting.  I got a lot of well wishes, but also a few dirty looks.  I understood how it felt to hear a resignation, so I didn't hold it against anyone.  Most of my coworkers avoided me for the rest of the week.

I went to happy hour for a little bit after work on Thursday to see Lauren and Kinsley.  Brody would probably be working until fairly late, so I figured I might as well be social in the meantime.

"Have you ever skied before?" Kinsley asked.  Brody and I were leaving in the morning for Breckenridge. 

I shook my head.   "Tried snowboarding once.  It was...um, not my finest hour," I admitted.

"Skiing is easier," Lauren assured me.  "But if all else fails, you can always spend the day in the spa!"

"That's what I figured," I said.  "I might actually just do that anyway.  I just want a weekend where we're not interrupted by Brody's phone at midnight and 6am."

"Is he still doing that shit?" Lauren asked.  I nodded.  "Is that what you have to look forward to forever?"

"He says it will get better.  I've never had my own business, so I guess I don't know what it's like.  I don't feel like we're at a point in our relationship that I can really demand that he pay more attention to me than what he's spent half his life working towards, though.  It's his business.  He's been working super hard, and he doesn't have a lot of people, so I get it...it's just a little frustrating sometimes."

Kinsley looked at me skeptically.  "But he needs to respect your time together," she said.  "You're both so busy as it is."  I shrugged.

"I'm trying to find the balance between being patient and supportive and getting what I want too," I explained.  With that, I changed the subject, not really wanting to defend myself (or Brody) anymore. 

The rest of happy hour was more comfortable.  Kinsley said that she was meeting Damien's family this weekend.  It was nice to see Kinsley so happy.  She talked excitedly about their plans.  She didn't even seem nervous.  I was impressed.  I left after being there for about an hour, because I still needed to pack for the weekend.

I was working on packing when my phone pinged and I saw I had a text from Brody.  "Be there in 20." was all it said.  I looked at the clock, surprised because I wasn't expecting him for another hour or so.

I greeted him cheerfully, but he didn't look happy. 

"I have to go back to Dallas tonight," he said finally.  He wouldn't meet my eyes.  I just stood there, staring at him.  He walked over to the couch and sat down, but I stood rooted to the spot I was in.

"Tonight?" I parroted.  He nodded, still not meeting my eyes.  "Isn't there someone else that can go?  You promised no work this weekend."  My voice was dangerously close to a whine.  I was starting to realize that he probably shouldn't promise no work, because it was a promise he just couldn't deliver on.  Part of me understood, but I was mostly just frustrated and angry. 

Finally, he looked up at me.  He met my stare briefly, then quickly looked away.  "I'm sorry," he said weakly.

I laughed bitterly.  "Sorry?" I mocked.  "Of course you are."  The words dripped with sarcasm, and I didn't even care.  I had done my best to be patient since our argument the weekend of Kendra's wedding, but the frustration of feeling like I was never a priority, not even a fraction of the time, was bubbling over. 

He looked up at me, surprised.  "I know you're upset--" he started, but I didn't let him finish.

"Upset?" I spat.  "Yeah, that's probably an understatement."  He shoved one hand through his hair.  He was clearly frustrated, but unlike me, his voice remained even. 

"I'm really sorry, Liv, I am.  But I have to go.  I wish I didn't."

"You have to?  Why?  Why does it have to be you?  It's always you!  What the hell is the point of even having employees if they don't do anything?"  I was still standing across the room from him, fighting the angry tears that were starting to pool in my eyes.

"They do things," he protested lamely.  "They do lots of things.  But I just can't ask them to drop everything and fly halfway across the country with no notice."

"Can't?  Or won't?  You don't have any problem asking me to drop everything so you can fly halfway across the country with no notice.  Maybe you're just too much of a control freak to let them do their jobs!"  I was purposely saying things to be hurtful now, and I was amazed at how quickly I had gone from 0 to name calling.  Fueled, perhaps, by my earlier conversation with Lauren and Kinsley.  Even as the words came out of my mouth, I knew I was acting like a petulant child about the situation.  But for some reason, I just couldn't stop.

Brody stared at me, his eyes hard now.  "Control freak?  Me?" He laughed a dry, humorless laugh that only made me more angry.  "This is ridiculous.  This is what I have been working my ass off for.  I'm sorry that I have to make sacrifices for my company.  My incredibly successful company that I have built practically single-handedly.  I didn't get to where I am by delegating, Olivia."  The way he spit out my name, my full name that he hardly ever used, made it feel like a weapon. 

"Congratulations, I'm so happy for you and your incredibly successful company," I snapped. I turned away from him so he wouldn't see me fighting my tears.  I took several deep breaths, trying desperately to regain control of myself before I said anything else stupid and hurtful.

"Liv," he said, his voice softer, but still with an edge.  "I'm sorry.  I don't know what else to do.  I don't blame you at all for being angry, but I can't help the situation.  It's a shitty situation, but sometimes it's the way things go when you own a business."  Neither of us said anything for what felt like several minutes.  I had plenty more I wanted to say, but I knew it would only make everything worse and I didn't want to say anything else I would regret.  I was bitterly angry and had little control over what was coming out my mouth at this point.

"What time does your plane leave?" I asked finally, still with my back to him.

"9:05," he replied.  I pulled my phone out of my pocket and looked at it.  It was 7:10.

"I guess you'd better go then," I said softly.  I didn't want him to leave, but I needed him to go before I did anything to make this worse.  His eyes narrowed briefly, then he nodded.

He stood and walked over to me, gently turning me towards him.  He brushed away the single tear that had escaped, kissed me on the cheek, and said softly, "I love you, Liv."  The immature, spiteful part of me wanted to remain silent, but luckily the rest of me is smarter.

"I love you too," I said, albeit a little stiffly.  He paused at the door, as if he was going to say something else, but thought better of it and left.  I fought the overwhelming urge to run after him and beg him to stay.  I was completely frustrated with the situation and still too angry to apologize for the things I'd said, but I hated that he was leaving the state with things between us like this. It sucked that he had to go to Dallas after he had promised no work, but I had handled the situation horribly.

As soon as I heard his car start up and back down my driveway, I sank down into a seated position with my back against the door.  I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my forehead on them.  I knew I was wrong, knew I had said things I shouldn't have.  I tried to talk myself into calling him and apologizing, but I still wasn't sure if I could do that without more venom working its way in, and the last thing I wanted to do was make the situation worse than it already was.  I decided to give myself some time to calm down, and try to get a hold of him before his plane took off.

I didn't feel like sitting, so I cleaned my kitchen.  Then I vacuumed.  Then I cleaned my bathroom.  I finally sat down around 9:30.  I'd been so absorbed in cleaning that I'd missed my chance to call Brody before his plane took off.  I read for awhile, then turned on the TV.  I was flipping mindlessly through the channels around 11 when my phone rang.  I thought it would be Brody, calling to tell me he got safely to Dallas, or maybe that he never wanted to talk to me again, so I was surprised to see Lynn's name on the screen.  It was after midnight in Wisconsin, and she usually went to bed early.

"Hi Lynn!  What are you doing up so late?" I said in greeting.

"Olivia, this is Kathy."  Kathy?  Why was Lynn's mom calling me?  And from Lynn's phone?

"Kathy?" I asked dumbly.

"Yes, dear.  Olivia, Lynn's been in an accident."  Her voice caught on the last word. 

Friday, November 28, 2014

What are they doing?

I'm a liar.  I was looking through the upcoming posts and realized next week will work out much better if this post happens this week instead of next.  So, here is your last post for this week, for real this time.  
__________________________________ 

Saturday night we had plans to go out with Lauren, Cassie, Alex, Kevin, and Kinsley.  We took a cab to the bar and I was surprised to see Damien and James sitting with Lauren and Kinsley.  I felt a brief stab of anxiety and wish Kinsley had warned me.  But judging from the apologetic look she shot me as we approached them, she didn't know James was coming either.  James and Damien stood, and James shook Brody's hand before giving me a quick hug.  Brody didn't seemed the least bit fazed by his presence, and he went up to the bar to get a round of drinks.

"How've you been?" James asked, once I had sat down.  I hadn't seem James since the day I had played in his kickball game.  The night Brody kissed me at Kendra's.  It seemed like it had a been a really long time.

"Good," I said.  "I actually just got a new job, and I start in January."

"That's great," he replied with a genuine smile.  "I know your job was really running you ragged for awhile there."

I nodded, then returned his question.  "How about you?"

"Well, I found a house finally.  I close in a couple weeks."

"That's awesome," I said back, happy for him.  Brody came back with drinks and handed one to me.

"What's awesome?" he asked.  James told him, and they started talking about buying houses and painting and remodeling and other generally boring things.  They seemed to be having fun, so  I excused myself and went to sit by Cassie and Lauren.

"What are they doing?" Cassie asked curiously. 

"Talking."  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little weirded out by it.

"Willingly?" Lauren asked.  I nodded.  "That's really weird.  Is that weird for you?"

"It's completely weird.  But good weird, I guess.  It's far better than if they were over there taking swings at each other."  Lauren and Cassie agreed.  I watched Brody and James, deep in conversation.  I don't think either of them even noticed I had left.  Alex and Kevin walked in and came over.

"Hey, isn't that that guy you were dating for a little while?" Kevin asked me.

"It is," I confirmed.

"Huh," he said.  I laughed.  My thoughts exactly.  Eventually, Brody came back over to where I was sitting.  He slung his arm around the back of the chair I was sitting in and grinned at me.

"Sorry, we got sucked into talking about different kinds of paint," he explained.

"That sounds fascinating," I replied.  He laughed.   "But don't be sorry," I said.  "I'm glad you guys get along."

"Well in that case, maybe I'll ask him for his number.  We can hang out," he teased me.

"I said I'm glad you get along, not 'please start a bromance'," I protested.  Brody laughed.

"Sorry if it made you uncomfortable," he said, kissing my cheek.

"Not at all," I assured him.  Okay, so not exactly true, but close enough and I didn't want to give him any reason to not be friendly towards James.

We stayed for several more hours.  Every time I finished one drink, Brody would set another one down in front of me.  "Trying to get me drunk?" I asked when he handed me drink number 4.

"You're celebrating," he said with a grin.  "Might as well!"

"Be careful what you wish for," Lauren warned. 

"Seriously," James said with a laugh.

"Brody, haven't you heard about how Liv got trashed on her first date with James and almost blew it all?" Cassie asked.

I gave her my best "Are You Fucking Kidding Me?!" look.  "Yeah, can you not tell my boyfriend about dates that I went on with someone that isn't him?" I hissed.

Brody laughed.  "Actually, it sounds like a story I'd love to hear," he said.  I glared at him.

"You are all horrible people," I declared, covering my face with my hands.

But by the end of James's and Cassie's joint telling of the story, even I was laughing.  Brody kissed my hot, pink cheek.  "It's okay, I like my dates cheap," he said, chuckling.  I went to smack him in the arm but he caught my hand and kissed my knuckles.

"I promise that I will get you back for this," I declared, looking at Cassie.

She grinned.  "I look forward to it."

Even that story didn't stop Brody from bringing me another drink the next time he went up to the bar.  "You're going to have to carry me home," I warned him.

He shrugged.  "You seem okay now," he said.

"Just wait.  It'll all hit me at once.  And if you're not sorry tonight, you definitely will be tomorrow."
 
Sure enough, when we stood up to leave about 45 minutes later, I wobbled precariously on the heels of my booties.  I over-corrected and almost fell back the other way.   "Easy," Brody murmured, taking my arm.

"I just want you to remember that you did this," I reminded him loudly, as we walked towards the door.

"I have a feeling you won't let me forget," he said with a laugh.  He kept one hand on my back and one holding on to my arm to try to steer me in a relatively straight path.  Near the door, someone called Brody's name, and he stopped me, turning.  It ended up being one of his employees.  He cautiously introduced me, and I smiled broadly and enthusiastically shook the man's hand.  Brody quickly ended the interaction and pulled me away before I could act too ridiculous.  Good choice.

In the dark cab, I yawned and put my head on his shoulder.  "Right from belligerent to sleepy, huh?" he teased.

"I was never belligerent," I scoffed.  "You'd know if I was, trust me."

"Now that's something I can't quite picture, actually," he replied, putting an arm around my shoulders.

The cab ride was just long enough for me to almost be asleep when we stopped outside my house.

"Let's go, Sleeping Beauty," Brody said, pulling me from the cab.  I yawned and trudged slowly up to the door.  I fished my keys out of my purse and promptly dropped them on the ground when I tried to stick them in the lock.  Brody picked them up and unlocked the door.  I walked in and collapsed on the couch.

"Sleeping there tonight?" Brody asked with a smile.  I nodded.  He sat down and pulled my shoes off my feet, then slipped an arm around my waist and hauled me up.  "Come on," he said, pulling me towards the stairs.  He got me upstairs and helped me pull my clothes off and get into bed.  "I think," he joked while he was peeling my jeans off of me, "I would have preferred belligerent Liv to uncooperative dead weight Liv."

"Your fault," I mumbled, yanking my foot out of my jeans.  He laughed and pulled the blanket up over me.

"Goodnight," he said, kissing my forehead.

"Mmmhmm," I responded.  He laughed again.

I woke up to high pitched ringtone of Brody's phone.  That, combined with the sun streaming in the window, made me groan and pull the pillow over my head.  Brody stumbled out of bed and grabbed his phone, quickly walking out of the room.  He returned a couple minutes later and slid back into bed next to me.  I peeked out at him from under the pillow and he grinned.  "Good morning," he said.

"Fuck off," I grumbled.

"So hostile," he said with a soft laugh.

"Go away," I whined.  "I hate you.  I'm pretty sure I'm going to die."  Have I mentioned that in addition to getting drunk super fast, I'm also the most dramatic and ridiculous hungover person ever?

"There's a bottle of water on your nightstand," he told me cheerfully.  I groaned again.  After wiggling around, trying to get comfortable and fall back asleep for about 20 minutes, I finally gave up.  I dragged myself out of bed, grabbed the bottle of water Brody had gotten for me, and slunk downstairs. 

Brody found me there 45 minutes later, curled in a ball under a blanket on the couch.  He brought me more water.  "Have you eaten anything?" he asked.

"Don't even talk about food," I groaned.

It was mid-afternoon before I managed to eat anything.  After I ate and showered I felt considerably better.  Brody's phone was surprisingly quiet and he was content to lay on the couch with me for most of the day.   I was ready to go back to bed by about 8pm, and I kicked Brody out.

As I laid in bed, I thought about giving my notice at work the next day, and I was a little nervous.  But I was also excited, and it wasn't enough to keep me from sleeping.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

(Then) Lauren: Welcome to DU

Happy Thanksgiving to all my U.S. readers!  I hope everyone is enjoying time with friends or family and eating way too much food today. 

This is the last post for the week, but I'll see you guys Sunday evening with the next one! 
________________________________________

I smile weakly at the RA that hands me the key for my room.  "Welcome to DU!  Your roommate hasn't signed in yet, so it's just you so far," she says cheerfully.  "I'll take you and your mom up there and then you can go ahead and get all your stuff moved in.  You should fill out this Inventory form with anything of concern in your room, so you're not charged for it at the end of the year.  I'll be here if you have questions along the way." 

I nod, completely overwhelmed already.  I have no idea why I thought it was such a good idea to go to school so far from home.  My mom and Liv have been my world for the past several years, and I suddenly can't figure out why I wanted to leave that.  At least my sister still lives here in town, but I'm worried about my mom, who'll be all alone at home.  As if reading my mind, Mom says, "Don't worry, sweetie.  Let's go get your stuff!"

Mom and I haul all my stuff from the giant SUV borrowed from one of her coworkers for the move.  Shortly after we make the last trip, a brunette with a placid smile steps into the room.  "Hi," she says sweetly. "I'm Kendra."

"Hi," I reply.  "Lauren, obviously."  We had talked on the phone a couple times, coordinating who was bringing what.

She surprises me with a quick hug, and her smile grows.  "I'm so glad to meet you finally," she says.  "I'm going to bring my stuff up."

I glance at Mom, who is smiling at me.  I wish everyone would stop looking at me like that.  It makes me feel weird.  "Honey, I'm going to go check into my hotel room," she tells me.  "Why don't you get settled in and get to know Kendra, and I'll pick you up tonight for dinner?"  I very suddenly do not want her to go, even for just a few hours.  She must see the panic on my face because she pulls me into a hug, saying, "You'll be fine.  I'll see you for dinner."  She pulls away, then adds, "6?"  I nod and say goodbye.

I help Kendra with her stuff, and we get to know each other while we haul it in.  Once it's all in, we both consider unpacking but instead flop down on our beds to be lazy.  This is going to be a great partnership.

My mom picks me up at 6 for dinner, and we go to a restaurant that Kendra recommended.  It's good, and I'm able to forget about the fact that my mom is leaving in the morning to drive back to Wisconsin.

We make plans to have breakfast together before my mom heads back in the morning, and she drops me off back at the dorm.  In the morning, after breakfast, I manage to not cry at all, which is more than I can say for my mom. 

The week of orientation flies by.  I'm excited for the start of classes.  High school was such a joke and I'm hoping for more of a challenge.  And you know, actually learning things.

The first week of classes is a serious let down.  The first day of every class devoted to nothing but going over the syllabus?  I can read on my own, thank you.  I'm already a week ahead in my reading and was hoping for something a little more stimulating.

On Thursday of the first week of classes, my phone rings, and I am thrilled to see that it's Liv.  "Hello?" I answer excitedly.

"Lauren!" she exclaims, sounding just as excited.  "I miss you already.  This making new friends thing is overrated.  You should just transfer here."

"Don't tempt me," I warn her.

"How is it?  How's your roommate?" she asks, steering away to more neutral subjects.

"Well, my classes are kind of lame.  Apparently I'm not going to learn things here either.  I looked over the syllabus for my statistics class and it's all the same stuff I learned in high school.  Waste of time."  Liv laughs at me.  "My roommate is nice.  I like her.  She's very calm, though.  Maddeningly calm.  Like, I want to poke at her until I get her to crack."

Liv laughs again.  "I think a maddening calm roommate is probably a very good thing for you," she says.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask, but I'm laughing too. 

It's so good to catch up with Liv, but it makes me miss home.  I'm moping when Kendra comes in and flops on her bed.  "Man, my math class sucks," she laments.

"I love math," I say automatically.  "I can help you, if you want."

"Really?  That's awesome," she responds, beaming at me.  "Oh, hey?  Lauren?"  I look at her curiously.  "There's this party this weekend.  A guy in one of my classes invited me.  I want to go, but I don't want to go alone, will you go with me?"

"A guy, huh?" I ask.  "Is he a cute guy?"

Kendra blushes immediately, and this is the least calm and cool I've ever seen her.  "It IS a cute guy!" I caw.  "Do you like him?"

"I don't know!" she squeals.  "I barely know him.  But he is cute.  Will you go?"  

"I'll go," I say finally.

She grins.  "Will you help me pick out something to wear?" she asks, almost shyly.

"I'll do that too," I reply.  "Will you help me with my makeup?" She wasn't as good as Liv, but she was far better than me.

"Yes!" she exclaims.  "This is going to be fun!"

On Saturday we spend two hours getting ready.  I make Kendra try on almost everything in her closet and end up loaning her one of my dresses to wear.  My makeup turns out perfect, so it works out well.

"You are so pretty," Kendra says to me wistfully before we leave.  I give her a weird look, because she is way prettier than me, and I tell her that.  She laughs.  "I don't think so.  Look at you!"  I do.  I don't see it.  I shrug and change the subject because this is uncomfortable.

We walk to the party, because it's close to campus.  My first college party, the first week of classes.  My sister would be so proud.  That reminds me that I should call her so we can hang out sometime.  I still haven't done that, whoops.  When we walk in, I'm immediately overwhelmed by all the people.  I do see someone that I spoke to briefly in one of my classes, and she waves to me.  I wave back, awkwardly.  I wish I had Liv and Lynn, my little social butterflies, to help me make the rounds.

I paste a smile on my face as Kendra introduces me to a few people.  Then she points out a guy.  "That's him," she whispers.  "Let's go say hi."  She practically drags me through the throngs of people to the other side of the room.  "Hi Christian," she chirps, in a way that's decidedly un-Kendra-like.  At least from what I've gathered in the whopping two weeks I've known her.  "This is my roommate, Lauren."

Christian smiles broadly at Kendra and I guess that I'm witnessing a love connection.  "Hi, Kendra," he says.  "Hi Lauren.  This is my friend Alex, and that's Brandon."  I smile and say hi, but Christian immediately turns back to Kendra.  They start chatting about their class, leaving me to try to make conversation with Alex and Brandon, who are just looking blankly at me.

"So...." I say awkwardly, scrambling for something, and pushing down my instinct to be sarcastic.  "The Broncos play the Chargers tomorrow, right?  Do you think they're going to win?"

This is clearly the right thing to say, because both guys' faces light up.  "They'd better," Alex says.  "I'd like to see them do better than last year's 10-6."

Brandon rolls his eyes.  "Because that's bad.  Try being a Dolphins fan.  If we hit .500 this year, that would be great."  Then he eyes me up and said, "Broncos fan?"

"Packers fan, actually," I respond.  The both look at me strangely.  "I'm from Wisconsin."

"I would have guessed Minnesota, based on your accent, but Wisconsin works too," Alex quips.  I give him a dirty look.

"Be nice to her," Brandon scolds him.  "Do you need a drink?"

I consider briefly, and figured one drink wouldn't hurt.  "Sure," I reply.  He leads me over to the keg and filled and handed me a cup.

"It's my house, you can drink for free," he says. smiling.

"Thanks," I reply, taking a drink.  I try not to cringe; beer is not my thing.

"So you must not be a freshman then?" I ask.  "If this is your house."  Students are required to live on campus for 2 years here.

"Nah, this is my third year," he replies.  "My little brother is good friends with Alex, so I've kind of adopted him and his roommate.  You know, making sure they get booze, know where the parties are, the important things."

"Yeah, of course.  The most important things," I reply sarcastically.

"Let me guess, you're here for an education," he jokes back.  "Don't let school eat you alive.  Loosen up and have some fun while you're here."

"I thought that's what I was doing right now," I say, the sarcasm still in my voice.

He laughs.  "I like you.  You're feisty.  It's cute."  I roll my eyes at him and he laughs again.  "Come on, let me introduce you to some people."  I'm wary, but I'm sober so what can it hurt?  I check in briefly with Kendra who barely even hears me talking to her, and then I let Brandon introduce me to his other roommates, two guys and a girl, and some of their friends. Then he said, "Soooo...do you wanna go hang out in my room or something?"

I give him a dirty look.  "No," I reply shortly.  "I should find Kendra."

"Oh, come on," he wheedles.

"No."  I glare at him, then look through the people for Kendra.

He rolls his eyes.  "Fucking freshmen," he mutters, stalking off through the people.  I also stalk off to find Kendra. I paste a smile on my face when I find her, still talking to Christian, determined not to ruin her evening. 

"Hey," she greets me with a broad smile.  I smile back and spend the next hour chatting with her, Christian, and Alex.  Alex is actually a lot of fun to talk to, and unlike Brandon, he keeps his eyes on my face and doesn't try to talk me into disappearing with him.

Finally, Kendra signals to me that she's ready to go.  She announces our intention to Christian and Alex, who immediately offer to walk us back.  "We'll be fine," I protest, rolling my eyes.

"I'm quite sure of that," Alex remarks.  "But it's still late and we're not letting you walk back by yourselves."  Then he leans in close to me and whispers, "And I don't think that Christian is quite finished talking to your friend, so throw him a bone, huh?"  I laugh and relent.

As we walk, Alex and I drop back so Kendra and Christian can chat with relative privacy.  "Did you have fun?" Alex asks.  What a stupid question.

"It was alright, I mostly just came for Kendra's sake," I say bluntly.

"Brandon is a huge douche," he says.

"I won't argue with that," I reply darkly.  Alex stops walking suddenly and regards me carefully when I stop too.

"He didn't....?"

"No, he didn't.  And this is not at all a really weird conversation to be having with someone I just met a few hours ago."  I can't understand why Alex is so concerned over my well-being. 

"Good, sorry," he replies, and even in the dark, the relief in his face is evident.  I mutter something back absolving him from his awkward inquiry, and we continue to walk.

When we get back to our dorm, we stop awkwardly several feet away from the door, where Kendra and Christian appear to be exchanging phone numbers.  "So, Christian and I have a huge TV that is awesome for watching football.  Are you interested in coming over to watch a couple games tomorrow?"  I raise an eyebrow at him, not sure how to respond.  Is he asking in a friendly way, or more than that?  That question is answered when he smiles and says, "Nothing weird, I just know that watching games is more fun with other people, and Kendra doesn't seem like a football watching type."

"Yeah, I don't think she is," I reply, laughing.  "Sure, that would be fun."  Then we're exchanging numbers too, and it's weird, but okay.

Kendra is waiting for me by the door and I awkwardly say goodbye to Alex and Christian and join her.  As soon as we're inside, she turns to me and smiles placidly, her calm back apparently.  "So you and Alex, huh?" she asks.

"Not like that," I respond hurriedly.  "We're watching football tomorrow.  As friends.  I think."

She laughs softly.  "Any guy at that party would give his left arm to be Alex tomorrow, I think."  I raise my eyebrows at her in surprise.  "You didn't see them all looking at you?  All of them, Lauren.  Seriously."

"I guess I'll have to pay better attention next time," I mutter, embarrassed.  She laughs again.  I quickly change the subject.  "And you and Christian?"

She smiles broadly, a flush rising to her cheeks.  "He's taking me out to dinner next week," she says.  I smile, glad that she's happy.

When we get back up to our room, I pull out my phone.  When I had been putting Alex's number in, I saw I had a text from my sister.  I open it now and read, "You're the worst sister, you know that?  Call me.  I'm having people over next weekend and you should come.  I miss you!"  She's right, I still haven't even called her.  I resolve to do that tomorrow. 




Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Something Nice

I was nearly ready to shut down my computer and leave on Thursday when my phone rang.  I recognized the number and hurried out the back door of the office, answering right before it went to voicemail.  It was the agency I'd interviewed with, and they offered me the job!   It was all I could do to not shriek and say yes right away.  I made arrangements to go their office for the offer letter the next afternoon.

I hurried back in, shut down my computer, grabbed my stuff, and headed out.  As soon as I got in my car, I called Brody.

"Hey, gorgeous," he answered.

"They called!" I shrieked, not bothering with a greeting.  "I got the job!"

He laughed at my enthusiasm.  "That's great, congratulations.  I told you you didn't have anything to worry about."

"Are you sure you can't come over tonight?" I asked.  "We can celebrate."

"Sorry Liv, I wish I could, but if I get out of here before 10, it'll be a miracle.  Tell you what, I'll take you out tomorrow and we'll do some serious celebrating." 

"Okay, that'll work," I replied.  I was a little disappointed, but I had expected as much and I was way too excited about my new job to be too upset.  After we hung up, I called my parents, then Lauren, then Lynn.  I saved Lynn for last because I figured we'd talk the longest, and we did.  It was good to catch up with her, and I vowed to be a better friend and call her more often. 

I was so excited that it took me a long time to settle down and fall asleep.  I was glad I only had two clients on Friday.  I decided that I'd give my notice on Monday, and planned on the 23rd being my last day.  The new place wanted me to start January 5th, so I'd have almost 2 weeks off in between, which would be perfect for going home for Christmas and just relaxing a little here.

I got a text from Brody while I was on my way to my new job to sign my offer letter.  I looked at it after I parked out in front of the office.  It said: "I'll pick you up at 7.  Wear something nice."  I raised my eyebrows.

"Something nice, or something "nice" ;) ?" I responded.

"Hmm, is both an option?" he texted back.

"I think that can be arranged." I replied.  I could do a little celebrating myself by buying some new lingerie this afternoon.  Not a bad idea.

By the time 7 rolled around, I had a new lacy bra and panty set on under a new dress that was just low cut enough to show off the excellent push up effect of the bra.  I tried on several pairs of shoes, texting pictures to Lauren and Kinsley before I settled on a pair.

When I opened the door for Brody, he just stared.

"You're letting the warm air out," I said pointedly, gesturing him inside.  He stepped in and shut the door.

"I don't think I even want to take you out to dinner anymore," he said, his eyes traveling my body. 

"That's too bad, because I didn't get all dressed up just to take it off right away," I said with a smirk. 

"If you really want to leave it on, I'm sure we can figure something out," he replied, cocking an eyebrow suggestively.  I shook my head and laughed.  He handed me a bottle of Pol Roger Cuvée Winston Churchill.  I practically drooled on it.  "For later," he explained.  "Unless you want to reconsider not going to dinner..."

"I can wait," I said.

He took me back to the Greek restaurant we'd gone to on our first date, and it was just as amazing as the first time. We didn't linger long after we finished eating, and were soon back at my house, drinking the amazing champagne Brody had brought.  He let me get through one glass before he started kissing me.  I let him for a few minutes before pulling back.

"That expensive champagne really should be finished now, don't you think?" I asked coyly.  He collapsed backwards against the couch.  Torturing him was really quite fun.

I drank another glass, then let him lead me upstairs.  "So, do I get to see the rest of your outfit now?" Brody asked, his hands searching for the zipper to my dress.

I guided his hand to the zipper and kissed him as he pulled it carefully down and eased the dress off my shoulders.  I stepped out of it and kicked it to the side and stood in front of him in just my new bra and underwear.  "Well?" I asked.

"I can't decide if I want to stare at you longer or take it all off you," he said, his voice low.  He slid both hands onto my hips, running his fingertips lightly across my skin.

I grinned and stepped towards him, pushing my torso against his.   "I want you to take it all off me," I replied. 

We were laying on my bed, mostly naked, when Brody's phone rang.  He paused, his lips hovering just over my neck.  "Don't you dare answer that," I said, sliding my arm between us and wrapping my hand around him, stroking him lightly.

He groaned.  "Hadn't even crossed my mind," he lied.  Irritated, I didn't respond to his lips on my neck until his tongue dipped down to the hollow of my collarbone.  Then I relaxed with a sigh and forgot about his phone.

Afterwards, as we laid pressed against each other, it rang again.  "Sorry," he murmured against my cheek before rolling away to grab it.  He fished it out of the pile of discarded clothes and sat at the foot of the bed.  As he spoke, I got up and walked down to the foot of the bed.  I knelt in front of him and took him into my mouth. He stopped talking for a second, then cleared his throat and continued.  After whoever he was talking to replied, Brody said, "Yeah, okay, I'll take care of it tomorrow," and shortly after, he hung up.

He pushed his hand into my hair and tilted my head up.  I stopped and watched as he turned his phone off and tossed it back onto the pile of clothes.  "Now, where were you?" he asked huskily.

"Oh, sorry," I responded.  I stood up and stretched.  "That was merely an attention grabbing tactic.  It worked."  I stood between his legs, close enough for him to feel the heat from my body, but not quite touching him.

"Oh really?" he asked. "Well, one way or another, we'll finish what you started, you evil temptress."  He grabbed me around the waist and laid back, pulling me with him.  He rolled over on top of me and kissed me roughly. 

After round 2, I pushed my hair out of my face and rolled onto my back.  Brody was laying on his stomach next to me, watching me.  "Are you mad?" he asked.

"No," I answered honestly.  "I'm kind of getting used to your phone being your mistress, I guess."

He rolled onto his side and moved closer to me, sliding his hand across my stomach. "It won't always be like this," he promised.  I nodded and shifted so my back was against his chest.  He ran his hand down my arm before wrapping it around my waist.  "Thank you for being patient," he said.  "I love you."

"I love you too, but I'm counting on it not always being like this."

"I know," he said, resting his chin on my shoulder.  We fell asleep like that.


"I was thinking," Brody said the next morning over breakfast.  "I haven't been skiing yet this year, which is ridiculous, because I normally like to go opening weekend before it gets too crowded.  And you said you wanted to learn.  And we could use another weekend where we're not interrupted by work.  So let's go to Breckenridge next weekend."

"Next weekend?" I asked.

"Yeah, since you only work half days on Friday, I'll take the day off and we can leave when you're done with work.  It's not that far, so we'll have a little time on Friday, all day Saturday, and some time Sunday before we have to leave."

"No work?" I asked skeptically.

"No work, I promise," he assured me.  

"I could try to reschedule my two clients on Friday for earlier in the week and we could just leave in the morning," I offered.

"That works too!" Brody said, sounding excited.  "Should I see if I can find a room?"  I nodded.  He pulled out his phone and searched for awhile, then reported that he found one and booked it.

"Alright then, I guess we're going to Breckenridge next weekend," I said. 

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

The Interview

I was doing paperwork between clients Monday when an unfamiliar local number called my cell phone.  When the caller identified herself as an HR representative from one of the agencies I'd recently applied to, I quickly swung my door shut.  They wanted me to interview, and we quickly scheduled something over my lunch break Tuesday.  I was a little nervous about scheduling it during the work day, but she assured me that they understood the time constraints and wouldn't keep me too long.  I was happy to have gotten an interview somewhere, at least.  We had hired and things were mostly back to normal again for now (I was even able to arrange my schedule so I only worked half days on Fridays!) but who knows how long it would last.

I was excited for the rest of the day, and called Cassie to come over for dinner and to help me pick out an outfit.  While we ate, she told me about her first day of work at Brody's company.  The person that had interviewed her loved her and they offered her the job on the spot.  When she gave her notice to her boss, he was so surprised and upset that he didn't want her to work her notice.  She was baffled by it.  She had always gotten along well with him.  But, she was able to start at Brody's company sooner, which worked out well for everyone.  She got a huge pay increase and better benefits, so she was pretty pleased with it.

After dinner, Cassie helped me pick out pants, a shell, and a cardigan for work the next day, and a suit jacket that I could easily swap for the cardigan when it was time for my interview.  Brilliant.  We hung out with a bottle of wine for awhile longer, and I went to bed shortly after she left.

I didn't sleep at all.  I never do before interviews and big things.  I was nervous all morning at work, and was worried that something would come up that prevented me from getting to the interview on time.  But the morning passed smoothly, and I pulled up in front of the agency I was interviewing at 10 minutes prior to my interview time.  I quickly pulled on my jacket, smoothed my hair, and checked my makeup in the rearview mirror before walking in. 

I was led to a small conference room and joined by two people, a man and a woman.  They introduced themselves with their first names, Jake and Kelly, and Jake made a joke within 30 seconds of walking into the room.  I was feeling more at ease already.

We ran through the standard interview questions quickly.  I felt a little unsure about some of my answers, but Jake and Kelly were both smiling.  I had to use my best poker face when they outlined the salary and benefit information, because they were both far better than what I was currently receiving.  My eyes about bugged out of my head when they mentioned the 21 days of PTO on top of the 2 week leave period that every employee was required to take annually.  Then they told me that I was their last candidate, and they hoped to have a decision made by the end of the week so the person they hired would be able to start after the first of the new year. 

After I left, I quickly emailed my references to let them know that they might be getting a phone call, then drove back to work.  I was anxious the rest of the day, second guessing all my answers.  By the time I met Brody for dinner, I had convinced myself that I wouldn't get the job.

Brody took one look at my face and said, "Oh no, did the interview not go well?"  He hugged me and then looked at me, waiting.

"I don't know," I admitted.  "I mean, I felt okay during it, but in the meantime, I've managed to second guess it all."  I told him about the interview and he shook his head and chuckled.

"Liv," he said gently, "they wouldn't have even bothered giving you the salary and benefit information if you had completely bombed it.  I'd be shocked if they weren't at least seriously considering you."  I shrugged, still not confident in that.

Halfway through our appetizer, my phone pinged loudly from my purse.  I cringed.  "Sorry, I'll turn it down," I said.  I grabbed it and glanced quickly at the text.  Then I grinned and showed it to Brody.  It was from one of my references, letting me know that the agency had called her today.

"See?" he said.  "They definitely wouldn't be doing that if they weren't seriously considering you."  I turned my phone to silent and tossed it back into my purse.  Not even 5 minutes later, Brody's phone rang.  He pulled it out, looked at it, and raised his eyes sheepishly to meet mine.

"Give me 5 minutes?" he asked.  I sighed and nodded.  After our argument the weekend of the wedding, he had done a lot better for awhile, but the phone was starting to creep back into our dates.  He was back in less than 5 minutes though, and he stopped to kiss my cheek before sitting back down.  "Sorry," he said softly.

His phone was silent the rest of dinner.  As we walked out of the restaurant hand in hand, I looked up at him.  "Are you staying with me tonight?" I asked.

"I was planning on it," he said, frowning, "but I was running late this morning and forgot to grab clothes for tomorrow."  Another downfall of his house.  He was too far out of town to just be able to run home in the morning before work.

"We could always spend the night at your house," I suggested.  He looked at me in surprise.

"That sounds great, but it won't be too much a pain for you, will it?" he replied.

"No, I was planning on getting up to go to work early tomorrow anyway.  I'm a little behind on paperwork.  We can swing by my place and I'll get clothes and stuff."  We decided I'd leave my car at home too and I could just ride in with Brody in the morning and take the bus home from work.

Later, he came into the bathroom while I was brushing my teeth.  He slid his arms around me from behind and said, "I'm glad you're here, but you're way overdressed."

I laughed and took my toothbrush out of my mouth long enough to say, "Because brushing my teeth is so damn sexy!"

"Everything you do is sexy," he murmured, brushing his lips softly against the back of my neck.

"I wouldn't go that far," I said, after I had spit and rinsed my mouth.

"I would," he insisted.  He spun me around and kissed me hard, as if to prove it. I ran my hands across the hard muscles of his bare chest.   "Done in here?" he asked gruffly.  I nodded, and he picked me up and carried me back into the bedroom.

I was not ready to get up the next morning, but once I got moving I was fine.  Brody dropped me off at the office at about 7:30, and I got all caught up on my paperwork.  The day went fast, and after work I met Lauren and Kinsley for dinner.

Kinsley was still dating Damien, and said that she had seen James over the weekend and he had asked about me.  "He seemed like he was doing well," she offered.

"Good, I hope he is," I replied.  "He's a good guy."  Kinsley nodded.

Lauren was now officially hooking up with her coworker that she had told us about weeks earlier.  Nothing had happened for a long time, but then they had randomly run into each other one night and apparently that was all it took.  They'd had sex 4 times now and Lauren saw no reason to not continue.  Kinsley and I continued to try to talk her out of it, but she claimed the guy was the best sex she'd ever had.

"And nothing could possibly go wrong," I said sarcastically.

"Everything could go wrong," she admitted.  "That's part of why it's so fun."

Kinsley and I exchanged looks.  "I'm right here!" she said with exasperation.  "I can see you guys looking at each other like that."

"Look, Laur, I won't try to talk you out of it anymore after this, but I'm just really worried that this is a bad move for your career," I said.  Kinsley agreed.

"Okay, mom," Lauren replied, rolling her eyes.  We dropped it after that, but it was clear that Lauren was irritated by our interference.  I didn't blame her, I would be too, but from the outside it just felt like a terrible choice.  Her company had a pretty strict no fraternization policy, and it was a small company, so people talked.

We stuck to safer topics for the rest of dinner and it passed uneventfully.  Lauren seemed to get over her annoyance quickly and was her normal self for the rest of the evening.  I got home at 8:30 and had just finished washing my dishes when the phone rang.  It was Brody, and he was still at work. 

"I don't think I'm going to make it to happy hour tomorrow," he said.  "I think tomorrow is going to be just like today."

"That sucks, I'm sorry it's so crazy," I replied.

"At least we have resumes rolling in already.  Cassie got the postings up really fast.  Things should get better soon."

We said goodnight, and I wondered if Brody was starting to regret buying out from his dad.

Monday, November 24, 2014

(Now) Brody: Meet the Parents: Dad

I woke up suddenly when Liv shot out of bed, and I was confused and concerned.  In the dark room, I could just barely see her standing next to the bed.  "Liv?" I asked, worried.  "What's wrong?"  When she didn't answer right away, I sat up.

She sat down heavily on the edge of the bed and finally responded.  "Nothing, nightmare.  Sorry.  I'll be right back."  As soon as the word "nightmare" was out of her mouth, I felt an overwhelming urge to hit something, hard.  Preferably Jordan's smug, cruel face.

When she slipped back into bed and curled up next to me, I could feel her shaking still.  "You're shaking," I murmured softly, wrapping my arms around her.  "Must have been some nightmare."

"Jordan," she whispered, and the confirmation of my suspicions just fueled my anger at him.  If I ever get the chance to get my hands on him again...

But right now, I have other things to deal with.  "Do you want to talk about it?"  When she shook her head, I was selfishly relieved.  Had she wanted to talk, I'd have gladly listened, but my anger at Jordan didn't need anymore prodding.  I focused on trying to soothe Liv, which was a much more productive use of my energy right now.  I felt her tense muscles start to relax as I massaged her scalp and neck, and her head grew heavier against my chest.  But try as I might, I couldn't lull her back into sleep.  She spent the next several hours tossing and turning before she finally stilled.  I looked at the clock and saw it was already after 5.  Looks like we were both going into dinner with my dad on a shitty night's sleep.

I finally fell back to sleep too, but woke up again around 8.  I tried to decide if I'd be able to get up without waking Liv, who was thankfully still sleeping.  Her hand was on my arm, and I tentatively moved my arm.  As soon as it moved, Liv stirred.  Shit.  I'd stay here for awhile then.  I laid there for nearly an hour until I could stand it anymore, and then slowly pulled my arm out from under her hand.  She didn't move until I got carefully out of bed.  Damn it, so close.

"What time is it?" she asked, blinking sleepily at me.

"Almost 9," I replied softly, smoothing her hair off her forehead and kissing her gently.  "You should go back to sleep if you can."  She nodded and shut her eyes.  I quietly pulled on shorts and a sweatshirt and left the room. 

My mom was the only person moving around and I found her in the kitchen.  "Good morning," she said, smiling brightly at me.  "How did you sleep?"

"Not good," I admitted, pouring myself a cup of coffee from the coffee pot.  "Liv had a nightmare, and we both had a hard time falling back asleep.  This coffee is really good."

"Thanks, it's from the coffee shop in town that I like.  A nightmare?" She looked concerned, and I almost smiled.  Leave it to my mom to be worried about someone that she's just met.

"Yeah, she has them sometimes," I replied.  I changed the subject, asking what time Ken's flight was.

"It's at 11.  Jen is taking him to the airport right now.  She said she had a couple errands to run and she'll back by lunchtime.  Does Olivia like French toast?"

"She does," I replied.

"Do you want bacon or sausage?" Mom asked, surveying the fridge.

"Sausage," I answered automatically.  Mom raised an eyebrow at me.  "Liv doesn't like bacon.  But you can make either, she won't mind."

"Sausage it is," she replied with a broad grin.  "Brody, Olivia is lovely.  I'm so happy you brought her here to meet us.  I'm sorry that Ken couldn't act more appropriately, though I wasn't exactly pleased with your behavior in response, either."  She tried to give me a disapproving look, but failed, her face cracking into a slight smile. 

"Frankly, Mom, Ken's lucky that all I did was kick him under the table," I grumbled.

"Oh really?  And how are you going to handle your father tonight then?  Because I'm sure Kenneth will look perfectly pleasant compared to him.  Do you really think it's wise to take her with you?  She can stay here and keep Jen and I company, you know.  We'd love to have her."

"I've told her that she has that option if she wants it," I replied.  "I'm not going to push her into it if she doesn't want to go.  But...she needs to know.  Mom, I love her, and if she can't deal with him, then I need to know now."

My mom paused her egg whisking and looked at me, surprise evident on her face.  Then she smiled, slowly.  "Do you think she can handle him?"

I laughed drily.  "I'm actually a little more worried about him handling her.  She's a force to be reckoned with when she's angry.  She could make any man miserable, even him.  Hopefully he doesn't piss her off too much." 

"I take that to mean you've pissed her off and been made miserable, hmmm?" my mom asked, her voice gently teasing.  "Shame on you."

I could barely contain my laughter at my mom's scolding.  "Shouldn't you be on my side?" I asked indignantly.

"Absolutely not.  What is it that they call it?  Girl code?"  I nodded and burst into laughter, no longer able to contain it.  My mom nodded curtly, still keeping a straight face somehow.  "It's girl code.  So you be nice to her, or you'll hear it from her, me, and your sister!"

"I guess I'm lucky that Liv is an only child," I grumbled.

"Oh, you certainly are," my mom said ominously.  Then she cocked her head towards the ceiling and said, "I think she's up.  Take her some coffee, I'm sure she'll appreciate it after a poor night's sleep.  Breakfast will be ready in about 15 minutes."

I poured a cup of coffee, added some creamer and a little sugar, and walked up to the room we were sharing.  I opened the door and slipped in.  Liv was nearly dressed (damn) but she looked exhausted.  I gently tilted her chin up to examine her face and kissed her on the forehead.  She smiled at me as I handed over the coffee.

"Did you get any sleep?" I asked her, even though I knew the answer.

"Not really, and I'm guessing you didn't either," she replied contritely.  "I'm sorry."

"I slept some," I said shrugging.  "Better than you, I imagine."  Leave it to Liv to be up in the middle of the night with a nightmare bad enough that she bolted out of bed and was still shaking for 15 minutes after, but then still be concerned about how I slept.

We went downstairs for breakfast, which perked her up considerably.  After my mom disappeared with her "things to do," I suggested we go for a walk.  Liv happily agreed and we bundled up and headed out.

We had fun exploring and while we were playing in the snow at the park, she finally looked relaxed and happy.  She'd been so stressed out lately from work and her anxiety about this weekend, it was good to see her smile and actually have fun.  By the time we got back and showered, she looked awake and bright again and I was relieved.

Then, when we were leaving to go meet my dad, she looked much more relaxed than I felt.  I could tell she was nervous, but she didn't seem nearly as stressed as she had been on the drive down here and when I told her about the dinner.  I probably shouldn't have sprung that on her, but if I had told her sooner, she just would have worried about it longer.

I wasn't surprised when we found out my dad was already there, and I knew it would be strike one against us, even though we were still ten minutes early.  I was surprised to see a young woman sitting next to him.  I couldn't help but wonder how much he'd paid her to be here tonight.

I swallowed my irritation when my dad didn't stand up to greet us.  It was an obvious exercise of his imagined power and I suddenly wished I would have left Olivia home with my mom and sister.  Liv was perfectly polite when introduced and my dad nothing but start to grill her.  I couldn't resist jumping in, and was shocked by his admonition, complete with accusing me of manipulating both her and him.  He accused me.  Of manipulating people.  I was so surprised by the entire exchange that I couldn't even formulate a response before he was back to grilling her.

His questions and responses were each tinged with just enough disdain and contempt to be obvious to me but not so much that I had something concrete to call him on.  I sat in awe at Liv's composure.  She was fielding his questions perfectly, politely, and even tried to make conversation with his...date.  I wanted nothing more than to jump in and rescue her from his barrage of questions, but I knew it would make it worse for both of us.  Plus, Liv was really holding her own.  There wasn't a trace of annoyance on her face, and the only answer that made me pause was her very short, "I'm not," and subject change in response to my dad pointing out that she doesn't look Italian.  It was obvious to me that was not a subject she'd be elaborating on tonight, and I made a mental note to ask her about it later.

When he started asking about what her parents did, I'd about reached my limit, and I cut in.  He snapped back at me and then continued asking questions.  Liv gave me a small smile and squeezed my leg reassuringly and I was again awed at how she was handling this.  I was impressed and grateful and quite frankly, I'm not sure I'd ever loved her more than I did right now.

Then my dad asked how many children she had.  Not "Do you have any children?" but "How many?"  A blatant implication that she was just like anyone else I'd ever...been with.  That she was a whore, a slut, perhaps using me for my money because my dad tended to assume that about every woman.  Liv had proven she could handle the benign questions, as contemptuous as they were, but I was not going to allow him to make these types of insinuations about her.  I was absolutely done with this idiocy and I didn't care what the repercussions would be as I snapped, "Enough!" at him.  It was far too loud for the setting we were in, but it got his attention.  He met my eyes and we stared each other down for several seconds before the server came to the table to take our order.  

After he left, Liv murmured that she was going to find the restroom.  I stood and pulled out her chair and when she met my eyes she smiled.  She still looked perfectly calm and put together, which was more than I could say for myself.

As soon as she was out of earshot, I turned to my father.  "How fucking dare you," I growled at him.  He raised his eyebrows in an expression of surprise that might have fooled someone that wasn't related to him.  "I will not sit here and let you insult my girlfriend any further.  This stops now, or we go."

"I was simply making conversation, Brody," he replied calmly.

"You and I both know there isn't an ounce of truth to that statement.  You can drop your shocked and innocent act.  You've spent 30 years pushing me around, but now it's over.  And if you think for one second that I will let you push someone I love around, you have another thing coming.  If you really feel the need to be a sneaky, underhanded asshole tonight, do it to me.  I'll take it.  Hell, I'll take it with a smile and a 'yes sir', but you will not fucking do it to Olivia anymore."

Now my dad's face looked vaguely impressed.  "Well, well," he replied, the corners of his lips turning up in a slight smile that looked nothing short of menacing and evil.  "No wonder you finally found the balls to stand up to me.  It's just too bad it's a woman that has you utilizing your skills.  Women come and go."  He glanced dispassionately at the young woman sitting next to him, who frowned in confusion.

I leaned forward and said, still angry, "You are finished with your bullshit tonight.  If you so much as insinuate that Olivia is anything less than a perfect fucking angel and the most wonderful person in the entire world, we are done.  Not just with dinner.  With you.  Forever.  You will get nothing from me.  I will pretend you're dead, and I won't be sorry."

Now my dad looked genuinely surprised.  I admit that the last sentence was a little over the top, but that was the only way to drive home a point with my father.  And I know, that as much as he acts like a complete asshole with no care in the world for others, he would not be pleased to never speak to me again.  Who would he control then?  "You really do love her," he said softly, his tone one of wonderment--not his usual tone at all.

I looked up and saw Liv approaching.  "Yes," I replied.  "I really do love her.  More than I thought possible.  So remember your manners."  My dad gave me a curt nod, and I forced my face to relax as I stood to pull out Liv's chair for her.  As I sat, I gave him one last hard look.

Of course, my dad couldn't do anything just the way someone else wanted, especially after being threatened.  So instead of just being polite and nice the rest of the meal, he took what I demanded of him and ran with it.  He shut out his date and me, and focused all his pleasant attention on Liv.  He was nothing but polite, friendly, and charming, so I couldn't even say a word about it.  At least it was clear that he took my threat seriously, even if he still had to get his stab in at me.  That's okay though, I told him I would take it, and it was better me than Liv.

When he cheerfully asked about dessert, I was still too angry to even entertain the idea.  I was reasonably certain that I would have been better able to handle this whole situation if I hadn't started my day at 2am with serious anger towards Jordan.  Fucking Jordan.

When Liv offered to drive, I gladly took her up on it.  I didn't think she'd appreciate my angry driving.  It was definitely better if she drove.  I was thankful she was perceptive enough to not try to talk to me.  I couldn't even remember the last time I had been this angry, and the last thing I wanted to do was snap at Liv just because she had the bad fortune to have to be near me right now.

When we got home, I stalked straight downstairs without a word to anyone.  I knew my mom and sister would take care of anything Liv needed, and right now I needed to burn off some of this anger so I could tell her how much tonight meant to me.

I pushed open the door to the room with my bag and the treadmill.  I tugged off my stupid tie and took off my shirt.  I liked this shirt.  It didn't need to take the brunt of my anger.  Over and over I slammed my bare fists into the bag, feeling every hit reverberate painfully up my arms.  I hit the bag until Jordan and my dad faded out of my mind, and all that was left was the amazing way that Liv dealt with the entire evening.  I knew that she'd hold her own.  If I hadn't been confident in that, I wouldn't have taken her.  But I couldn't have anticipated the grace with which she'd handle my father--and me for that matter.

I stopped, finally, my arms shaky and feeling like overchewed gum, my hands throbbing angrily.  I leaned against the wall, examining my knuckles and considering all the ways that Liv had blown my mind in the few short months we'd been together. 

When she walked into the room with a smile, teasing me about my hands, I was relieved.  I wasn't sure how she'd react to my anger.  Granted, she might not have had such a nice response if she had heard what I'd said to my dad while she was in the bathroom.  I hoped she wouldn't ask about it.  I wouldn't lie if she did, but I definitely preferred her to not know how low I'd stooped to get him to act semi-appropriately. 

Liv seemed to sleep great that night, but I didn't.  I tried to go back to sleep after we had sex, but just as I drifted off, my phone rang.  I rolled carefully out of bed and answered out in the hall.  It was a quick call, but I knew I wasn't going back to sleep.  I wandered downstairs and found my mom in the kitchen again.

My mom greeted me with a cup of coffee and once I was settled with it, she asked, "Well, how'd she do?"

"She was amazing, Mom.  I knew she'd be okay, but she was unbelievable."  I grimaced and said, "Actually, she handled him much better than I did."

My mom pursed her lips, then asked, "What did you do?"

"I lost it," I admitted.  "Only once, and not in front of Liv, at least.  He was being absolutely awful to her.  I was so angry.  After he essentially implied that she was a gold-digging whore, I chewed him out.  And I....I threatened him."

"Brody," my mom chided.  "Dare I ask?"

I put my head in my hands, miserable at the memory.  "I told him I'd cut him out.  Never speak to him again.  I said...I said I'd pretend he was dead and I wouldn't be sorry."

My mom simply stared at me for a moment, then said, "Well, what's done is done, no sense in beating yourself up over it.  I'm just sorry you let him get under your skin so badly."

"I just couldn't understand why he was being so awful to her.  I expected him to be a jerk, but he was far beyond that," I said, frustrated.

"You really don't know?" my mom asked, looking surprised.  I looked up in confusion.  "Honey, he's threatened by her.  You were the only one left in this family that he had any control over, and that was just because of the company."  I considered this.  My mom and brother hadn't spoken to him in years, as far as I knew.  And my sister only did when she had to.  I was stuck under his thumb as long as he was my boss.  "You know he called me, right?"

"What do you mean? Called you when?" I asked, still confused.

"Hmmm, I believe it was when you went down to sort of the mess with his manager?  The first time, before he offered you the shares and new position.  He asked me if you had been seeing anyone.  He knew.  I think he was worried about losing his control over you."

"So, he...what?  Offered me the position and shares as a last ditch effort to keep me under his thumb forever?" I asked, astounded.

"I think that's exactly what he did," my mom replied calmly.  "And when you defied him by not only not taking the position, but buying him out, you sent him into a serious tailspin."  I gaped at her, stunned and disappointed in myself for not figuring it all out sooner.  "Are you okay?" she asked me.

"I'm...I don't know," I muttered.  "I'm going downstairs.  To the treadmill.  If Liv gets up, will you keep her occupied?  I just need to wrap my head around this."

"Of course, sweetheart.  I was thinking brunch at 11 before you leave, is that okay?"  I nodded.

I slipped silently into our room, being as quiet as possible while I grabbed socks and my shoes.  Liv didn't move, and I was glad she was sleeping.  She needed it.  I looked at my watch.  It was just after 9, giving me plenty of time to pound out some miles on the treadmill.  My arms and hands were sore from my punching bag assault the night before, but my fingers and knuckles were surprisingly only a little swollen.  Good form, I guess.  Now I could make my legs hurt too.

I ran at a brutal pace for 45 minutes, only stopping when I was worried that my legs would actually give out.  I hadn't spent enough time running lately, and my body was protesting.  I felt a million times better now, though.  I flexed my arms and stretched my legs, savoring the soreness that represented the anger I had worked out. 

As nice as it was to see my mom and sister, I was relieved when Liv and I headed out.  I was also relieved that she wasn't interested in going out and that she wanted to spend the night with me.  I couldn't imagine a better way to round out this insane holiday weekend than sleeping in my own bed with the woman I loved. 




Sunday, November 23, 2014

Family Ties

Guess what?  This little blog is going to hit 200k views either today or tomorrow.  That means we are celebrating this week!  And you know what that means--lots of posts for you guys, my amazing readers.  If you missed Saturday's post, check it out  here because you don't want to miss it! Obviously you'll get this post, then Monday night I will post (a very long) Brody's perspective of the dinner with his dad. Tuesday night and Wednesday night will be posts from the current storyline, and Thursday night I have a Lauren post for you guys. As always, thank you all so much for making this so much fun for me! It would not be the same without all the rockstar readers and commenters.
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I woke up early the next morning to Brody's hand sliding under my shirt.  I shifted slightly to let him know I was awake.  His hand traveled up over my breast, pausing at my nipple.  I arched against him, and his hand slid back down, stopping at the waistband of my shorts.  I pushed them down, and his hand moved between my legs, stroking me gently.  Without moving his hand away, he shifted behind me, then pushed into me.  I pressed my face into the pillow to stifle my gasp.  He moved slowly, continuing to stroke between my legs.  When I came, I had to bite my lip to keep from crying out.  Brody finished soon after, and rolled out of bed.  He pulled his shorts on and slipped out of the room.

He came back in after a few minutes and climbed back into bed.  I scooted over to him and yawned as I dropped my head onto his chest.  "Go back to sleep," he said softly, trailing his fingers up and down my spine.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Not quite 8."  I shut my eyes.  Between not sleeping well the previous night and the stress of last night's dinner, I was feeling exhausted still.  I woke briefly when Brody's phone rang.  He gently shifted me off of him and slid out of bed, grabbing the phone and moving out into the hall.  I considered getting up, but fell back to sleep.  I woke again when Brody came back in with wet hair and a towel around his waist

"Now what time is it?" I asked, groping for my phone but not finding it. 

"A little after 10.  My mom was thinking we could go out for brunch around 11 and then I thought we'd take off.  Sound okay?"

I nodded.  "Was that work stuff?  The phone call?"

"Yeah, sorry it woke you.  It's taken care of now."  I sat up and stretched, pausing to watch Brody get dressed.  I yawned again as he sat on the bed to pull on his socks.

"I don't know why I'm so tired," I complained.

"My dad has that effect on people," he replied.  He leaned over and kissed me.

I got up, showered, and dressed, and we headed out for brunch.  It was delicious, and I was seriously enjoying spending time with Brody's sister and his mom.  I was thankful that at least part of his family wasn't crazy.

After brunch, we headed back to the house and packed up our stuff.  I hugged Brody's mom and Jen and thanked them profusely for having me.  Thalia told me I was welcome any time, with or without Brody.  Brody pretended to be offended, but I'm pretty sure he was thrilled that they liked me so much.

In the car, Brody glanced at me.  "Alex texted me that they were planning on going out tonight, do you want to?"

I groaned.  I was still exhausted and just wanted to relax.  "Not really," I responded.

"Me neither.  So, do you want me to drop you off at home, or...?" he trailed off.

"I don't know, can you stand spending another night with me?" I asked with a smirk.

He laughed.  "I'd love to spend another night with you, but I wasn't sure if you wanted to spend another night with me after being subjected to my family all weekend.  My house or yours?"

"Yours, if you don't mind taking me home tomorrow.  That way we have a semi-plausible excuse to not go out tonight."

I slept most of the rest of the way.  We stopped to grab takeout to have for dinner later, and we arrived at Brody's house mid-afternoon.  I was feeling restless by this point, so we took a short walk around his neighborhood, then hung out on the couch the rest of the day.

As we laid in bed later that night, he suddenly said, "Tell me about not being Italian."

I rolled onto my back and he rolled onto his side to face me.  He propped himself up on his elbow and slid one hand across my stomach to rest on my hip.  His fingers moved absently against my skin. 

I took a deep breath, then started my story.  "My dad, the guy my mom is married to, isn't my biological father," I said.  Brody looked at me curiously, but didn't speak.  "My biological father and my mom were never truly in a relationship.  He wasn't really a good guy, and he went to prison for assault and attempted murder shortly after my mom found out she was pregnant with me.  She met Chris Saffiano about 6 months later, just before I was born.  He was there was for my mom, didn't care that she was pregnant, did everything that a father should.  He moved in with us when I was about 9 months old.  He was always my dad.

"He and my mom got married when I was 3, and he adopted me when I was 5.  It took them those two years to track down my biological father to get him to terminate his rights so Chris could adopt me.  My mom and I both kept her last name until the day I was adopted, then she changed both our last names to Saffiano."

Brody was silent for a moment, considering this.  Then he said, "Have you ever met him?  Your biological father, I mean."

I shook my head.  "I don't even know his name.  I obviously always knew that Chris wasn't my biological father, so my mom said that when I turned 16, she'd give me all the information she had if I wanted it.  That way I could decide if I wanted to seek him out.  I didn't want to though.  I had no reason to.  I had a dad, I didn't need another one.  Especially one like him."

"Wow," Brody said.  "I don't really know what to say."

I shrugged.  "There's nothing to say.  It doesn't bother me.  Like I said, I always had a dad.  And Chris was a really great dad, so I don't feel like I missed out on anything by never knowing my biological father.  In fact, I think I'm lucky that the dad I knew was Chris and not my biological father.  I had it way better than a lot of people do." 

Brody moved closer to me and wrapped his arm around my waist.  "You have a really good attitude about it.  Not everyone would."  He kissed my cheek.  "Chris sounds like a great guy.  I hope I can meet him, and your mom, soon."

"Is that a hint?  Not very subtle," I said with a laugh.  "Well, I was planning on going home for Christmas.  I don't know what you guys usually do.  Christmas is totally a big deal in our family, so I get that it's not the most ideal time to be away from your family, but you're absolutely welcome to come with me, if you wanted to."

"I would love to," he said, pressing his face against my neck.  "I wouldn't mind a holiday without Ken."

"I don't blame you for that!" I said.

"He was such an asshole, I was surprised," Brody replied.  "I mean, he's sort of unpredictable, but he's never been a flat out asshole like that before."

"Well, I guess I just bring out the best in people.  Except I think you're responsible for bringing out the best in your dad.  I saw your little angry conversation with him."

"He deserved it.  I can't believe he brought his little toy with him too.  She can't be any older than me," he guessed.  "But then after I told him to lighten up on you, I didn't expect him to go in the complete opposite direction."

We discussed the dinner for a little longer, until my yawns became frequent enough that they were interrupting my sentences.

The next morning, we had breakfast together and then Brody took me home.  I did some cleaning and some prep work for my work week, and picked up some groceries.  I was ready for bed again by 10pm.  In a move I would have gagged over 6 months ago, I called Brody just to say goodnight, even though I had said goodbye to him less than 12 hours earlier.

"Miss me already?" he asked when he answered.

"Nope, just called to tell you how much I can't stand talking to you," I said with a laugh.

"That's good, because I don't miss you either," he responded.  "Going to bed?"

"I am, your family wore me out."

"Join the club!" he said, laughing.  "I'm going to bed soon too."  We made plans to have dinner on Tuesday and said goodnight.  As I fell asleep, I was happy to be back in my own bed, but missed having Brody next to me.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Meet the Parents: Dad

I've been sitting on this one too long to keep it to myself until tomorrow.  Enjoy!  Hope you are all having awesome weekends :)
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Though I had fallen asleep easily, it didn't last long.  It felt like I had just closed my eyes when I dreamed I was with Jordan.  He had me by the arms, pinned against a wall.  Except instead of being in a crowded bar with someone there to help, we were alone in an unfamiliar living room.  There was no one there to stop him when he started pulling at my clothes.

I woke with a start, and I panicked in my half asleep state when I felt arms wrapped around me.  I struggled away, rolling off the bed and to my feet.  "Liv, what's wrong?" came Brody's voice, sounding sleepy but concerned.  Brody.  They were Brody's arms, not Jordan's.  I took a deep, shuddering breath and sat down on the edge of the bed before my shaking legs gave out.  In the dark I could see him sitting up.

"Nothing, nightmare.  Sorry.  I'll be right back."  I slipped quietly out of the room and into the bathroom that was between our room and Jen's room.  I was thankful for the nightlight so I didn't have to turn on the overhead light as I splashed some cold water on my face.  I had gone nearly three weeks with only one nightmare about Jordan at one point, but then as my stress at work increased, he had crept back into my nocturnal thoughts every few days. 

I made my way back into the bedroom, legs still shaky.  Brody was laying down again but he raised his head when I climbed back into bed.  He reached for me and I slid next to him, laying my head on his chest and allowing him to wrap his arms around me.  "You're shaking," he said quietly.  One hand made its way up into my hair and massaged my scalp gently, while his other arm tightened protectively around me.  "Must have been some nightmare."

"Jordan," I whispered.  I felt his muscles tense briefly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.  I shook my head.  His fingers continued massaging my scalp, and I started to relax against him.   But between being in a strange bed in a new place, the memory of the nightmare, and my nerves about meeting Brody's dad the next day, I didn't sleep well.  I was restless, tossing and turning the rest of the night.  I finally fell into somewhat restful sleep around 5 am, but was still exhausted when Brody got up around 9. I stayed in bed for another half hour, tossing and turning. 

Brody came in with a cup of coffee when I was almost done getting dressed.  He kissed me on the forehead and studied my face with concern.

"Did you get any sleep?" he asked, handing me the coffee.  I took and it drank gratefully.

"Not really, and I'm guessing you didn't either.  I'm sorry," I said.

"I slept some," he said with a shrug.  "Better than you, I imagine."  When I didn't say anything else about my dream, he continued.  "My mom made breakfast, are you hungry?"  I nodded.  That never changed.

After an amazing breakfast of eggs, sausage, and french toast stuffed with walnuts and strawberries (can I just move in here?), Brody's mom insisted she had things to do and disappeared.  Neither Ken nor Jen was anywhere to be found.  We decided to go for a walk to kill some time.  We bundled up (there was no snow in Denver or Colorado Springs, but this town was higher in elevation and had nearly a foot on the ground!) and set off.

We ended up walking around the neighborhood for nearly two hours.  At one point, we were a little lost, but we navigated our way back to somewhere Brody recognized.  We wandered to a small park and I was trudging through the snow to look at the creek when a snowball caught me square in the back.  I spun and saw Brody standing about 10 feet away, laughing.

"You did not just do that!" I shrieked, reaching down to make my own snowball.

"Actually, I did!" he yelled back, running through the snow and ducking behind a tree.  I launched my snowball in time for it to hit him in the back of the leg as he disappeared behind the tree.

"Throwing a snowball at your girlfriend and then hiding behind a tree is not a terribly manly thing to do," I called out, bending down to make another snowball.  I heard footsteps behind me and stood just in time to be tackled into a pile of snow.

"How about that?" he asked, his green eyes sparkling.  "Was that manly enough for you?"    He was laying on top of me in the snow, face inches from mine.

I smirked at him.  "It's a step in the right direction, anyway."

"Oh, you'd better be quiet, considering you're the one stuck in the snow!" he replied with a laugh.

"Make me," I said, still smirking up at him.  He pressed his lips to mine.  They were warm on my cold face.  We kissed for several seconds before Brody reluctantly pulled away.  He stood and reached down to pull me up.

"Now we should probably head back so you can get dry," he said, turning me around to see my soaked coat and pants.  We walked back hand in hand.  When we returned, he insisted I shower first, even though he was just as wet as I was.  When we were both clean, dry, and dressed, we emerged to find that Jen was sitting in the living room.  Apparently, she had been taking Ken to the airport this morning.  We warmed up leftovers for lunch and passed the afternoon chatting and watching TV.

Finally, it was time to get ready for dinner with Brody's dad.  Brody was uncharacteristically quiet, and I guessed he was a little nervous.  As we drove out, he told me that his dad always picked the same restaurant, which was stupidly expensive and not that good.  He chattered mindlessly, and his nervousness was increasing my own.

We arrived 10 minutes early, and Brody told the maître d' we had reservations with Brian Adler.  The maître d' nodded and said that Mr. Adler was already seated.  Brody sighed and we followed him to the table.

Mr. Adler did not stand to great us.  He stared at us flatly as we approached, and when we got there, the first thing he said was, "About time."  Brody ignored him, and I resisted the urge to point out that we were 10 minutes early.  I was baffled by the young woman sitting next to him, and apparently Brody was too, because he was looking at her curiously.

"Dad, this is my girlfriend Olivia," he introduced me.

I shook his hand and said, "Nice to meet you, Mr. Adler."  He gripped my hand just a hair too tightly, and didn't ask me to call him Brian.

"What's your last name?" he asked.

I blinked in surprise, wondering why it mattered.  I didn't see the harm in providing it, and Brody wasn't protesting, so I told him as Brody pulled out my chair for me.  Once we were seated, Brody's dad introduced us to the woman sitting next to him.

"This is my date Lindsay.  Lindsay, my son Brody, and...Olivia."  Lindsay looked like she was lucky if she was my age.  He turned back to Brody and continued, "I figured since you were bringing a date, I would too."  If by date, he meant "escort," judging by the looks of her...

"Dad," Brody said, his voice calm.  "Olivia isn't my date.  She's my girlfriend."

"Of course," his dad said dismissively. After an uncomfortable pause, he turned to me and said, "So you'd be the reason Brody didn't care to stay in Miami with my company, then?"  I blinked at him, caught completely off guard and with no idea what to say.  Luckily, Brody broke in.

"Olivia factored into my decision, yes," he said, fighting to keep calm.

 Mr. Adler glanced in Brody's direction and then turned his calculating eyes back to me.  "You're a little young for my son, don't you think?"  I bit my tongue to keep myself from spitting out that that was awfully rich coming from him. 

"She's almost 27," Brody snapped. 

"And does she do any speaking for herself?" his dad asked, slowly and deliberately returning his unflinching gaze back to Brody.  "Do you plan to feed her dinner to her as well?  Do you pick out her clothes and tell her who she can hang out with?  Or do you prefer to manipulate her the same way you manipulated me?"  Brody didn't respond.  I was seriously impressed with his poker face, because I was absolutely flabbergasted by the turn the conversation just took.

I didn't have much time to ruminate on it, because Mr. Adler turned back to me and said, "So it must be serious.  Do you plan to get married?"  I could see Brody's jaw clench out of the corner of my eye.  I laid my hand on his leg under the table and squeezed gently.  His muscles were tense and I could tell he was struggling to not jump in and respond on my behalf again.

"We're just enjoying the way things are now, we haven't really gotten that far yet," I replied, smiling.  Under my hand, Brody's muscles relaxed fractionally.

"I can't quite place your accent," Mr. Adler said, studying me.  "It's faint, but it's there."

"I grew up in Wisconsin," I replied politely.  He frowned, Wisconsin apparently not to his liking.

"Oh.  Wisconsin.  How...quaint.  And Saffiano?  That sounds Italian.  But you certainly don't look Italian."  Apparently it was the 20 Questions (that weren't actually questions, but still required an answer) hour. 

"I'm not," I said simply.  Then I turned to Lindsay, eager for a subject change.  "What do you do, Linsday?"

"I don't really do anything anymore," she replied.  Despite the brevity of her answer, her smile was friendly enough.  Then our $300 bottle of wine (who needs $300 wine?) was delivered, saving me from having to come up with a response.

As soon as the server was gone, Mr. Adler continued his barrage of questions.  "What do your parents do....Olivia?"  He paused before he said my name, as if struggling to remember it.

"Seriously, Dad," Brody broke in.  "Ease up with the questions."

"I don't remember addressing you," his dad said coolly.  Brody started to protest but his dad continued on, simply talking over him.  He asked me several more questions, and then he leaned back in his seat and smiled slightly as if he had just remembered something funny.  "How many children do you have?"  I blinked at him, completely taken aback.

"Enough!" Brody snapped.  Luckily our server arrived just then, and after we were done ordering I excused myself to use the restroom.  Brody stood up and pulled my chair back as I stood.

I used the bathroom and then washed my hands slowly, letting the water run on my hands way longer than necessary.  This guy was a real piece of work, and I hoped the rest of dinner would go by quickly.

As I walked back to the table, I caught a glimpse of Brody.  He was speaking to his dad, and his face looked angry.  His hand that was on the table was clenched in a fist and he was leaning forward.  When he saw me coming, he said a few more words to his dad, then his face relaxed a little.  He stood as I approached the table and pushed in my chair as I sat.  As he sat, he brushed a quick, soft kiss against my cheek.  He gave his dad a hard look as he straightened.

His dad turned to me and flashed a familiar charming smile.  "So Olivia, Brody tells me you're a therapist," he said.  I nodded.  "Did you have to spend a lot of time in school for that?"  His tone was now perfectly friendly.  He remained that way throughout dinner, as if a switch had been flipped.  It was completely disconcerting and I almost wished he'd go back to grilling me.  He ignored Brody and Lindsay nearly completely as he delved into my life with polite and charming inquiries.

"Dessert?" he asked, once we were finished eating.

"No," Brody said, sliding his chair back.  "In fact, we should get going."  He turned to me.  "Are you ready, Liv?"  I nodded and stood.  In an obvious power play, Brody peeled several hundred dollar bills from his wallet and dropped them on the table.  "Dinner's on me this time.  Bye, Dad."  With that, he took my hand and walked towards the door.

He was silent as we walked through the restaurant.  He dropped my hand as we waited for his SUV, and his hands immediately clenched into fists.  I touched his arm gently.  "Do you want me to drive?" I asked.  Silently, he walked to the passenger side and got in.

I slid into the driver's seat and adjusted it for my short legs.  I moved the mirrors and then looked at Brody.  He gave me short, curt directions.  Once we got out of the city he said, "Do you mind if we make a stop?"

"Of course not, just direct me," I replied.  He didn't speak again but to give me directions.  We drove past the road to his mom's house and continued up the mountain.  He directed me to a turn out, and asked me to stop the car.  He reclined his seat slightly and stared silently out the windshield.  We sat there for 10 minutes.  I gave him his silence, and after a few minutes he reached over for my hand.  I slid my fingers between his and we sat in silence for a bit longer.

Finally, he said, "Okay, I'm ready.  Thank you."  I started the car and he directed me back to his mom's house.  When we got there, he walked in quietly and went straight past his mom and Jen sitting on the couch.  They looked at me curiously, but didn't seem surprised by his silence.

"How'd it go?" Thalia asked.

"I'm...not entirely sure," I replied. "Not very well, though I guess it could have been worse." 

"Sounds about right," Jen said with a grimace.  Her dinner was tomorrow.  I smiled sympathetically and walked towards the stairs.  Brody wasn't in the room we were sharing when I got there.  I brushed my teeth and washed my face and changed into sweatpants, then wandered back down to the living room.

I paused in the doorway and saw Jen smile.  "Try downstairs," she suggested.  "Down and then the first room on your right."  

I walked down the stairs to the lower level, then tentatively pushed open the first door I found on the right.  The room was empty except for a treadmill and a heavy bag suspended from a stand in the middle of the room.  Brody was leaning against the wall examining his knuckles.  He was sweaty and shirtless, and looked a little ridiculous in just his dress pants and shoes.

"Couldn't even wrap them first?  What did I tell you about punching things?  I need those hands."  I teased gently, hoping he'd be out of his silent funk.

"I wanted it to hurt," he muttered.  He finally looked up at me, then gestured to the punching bag, then the treadmill.  "This is how I made it through high school.  As soon as I became aware of how much of a horrible person my dad really was...and then when Heather..."  He stopped, and I nodded to show him I understood.

I walked over to him and he pulled me into a fierce, crushing hug.  "Thank you," he said into my hair.  "He was beyond an asshole, and you handled it perfectly.  I'm really impressed and incredibly grateful.  I'm sorry I was so short in the car, and that I ditched you as soon as we got here.  I just needed to blow off some steam and I was scared I'd be a jerk to you if I talked too much."  I worked my arms out from where they were trapped between us and wrapped them around him, gently massaging the tense muscles of his lower back. 

I wasn't sure what to say in response, so I made a safe choice.  "I love you."

He snorted.  "Yeah?  Even after tonight?  Hell, after this weekend?"

"Even more after this weekend," I said sincerely.  He pulled away and held me at arm's length, studying my face.

"Oh really?" he asked curiously.  I nodded.  "And why is that?"

"Because I'm terribly grateful that you turned out as normal and amazing as you are."  He stared at me silently for several seconds, then burst into laughter.  He hugged me again, still shaking with laughter.

"Liv," he said, pulling back to look at me, "if I ever forget how lucky I am, you have my complete permission to kick my ass."