Guest List

On Tuesday, I used my lunch break to walk over to the office that belonged to Carla, our HR person.  I sat down and told her what I was looking for and we talked through my options.  The more I'd thought about it, the more I liked the idea of going down to .75 FTE.  I loved my job, and I loved to work and didn't ever want to not work, but my job could be emotionally exhausting at times and I wasn't always very good at taking care of myself.  I'd realized, when I weighed my options, that decreasing my hours would very likely help me be even better at my job and enjoy it more.  And now that I didn't financially need to be full time, I couldn't really think of any reasons (besides sheer stubbornness!) to not do something that would help me do better work with my clients and take care of myself better.

"You're sure this is okay?" I asked for what must have been the third time, after getting the salary and benefit information for the .75 FTE position.

Carla smiled.  "Yes, it's fine.  You're not the first to do something like this!  If Kelly gives you a hard time at all, let me know, but I don't think she will."

I thanked her and walked down to Kelly's office, hoping she'd be free.  She was, and I went in and sat down, then explained my plans.  I had already done a little problem solving with Carla, and was able to tell Kelly about the two clients I'd been talking to about closing in the next few weeks, one that I thought would be ready soon, and another that wanted to drop down to every other week.  We refigured my schedule to make sure I could fit the rest of my clients in.  We revisited a conversation we'd had a couple weeks ago about transitioning one of my families to someone that might be a better fit for them, as they were wanting someone that was a bit more direct in session than I was.  In the end, we got it figured out, and if all went according to plan, I'd only have one Saturday left and would be able to start my new schedule in two weeks.

When I got back to my office, I emailed the plan to Carla and quickly got ready for my next client.  The rest of my work day flew by, and I decided to keep my office door shut between clients to discourage Josh's presence.  It worked, and I didn't see him all day.

Brody was going to pick up pizza on his way home so we could finish the timeline and guest list tonight and get the info to Lauren's mom so she could start our invitations.  I decided to hit the gym after work, figuring that getting some endorphins going would help me get through finishing the guest list without killing Brody every time he tried to add someone.

I had an awesome workout, and I got so sucked into my weights that I didn't realize how much time had passed.  I was expecting Brody home around 7:30, and I now barely had enough time to get home and shower.  I walked a few cool down laps around the track, then stopped to stretch out my already tight hamstrings and calves.  I grabbed my bag out of my locker and headed out, hurrying home.

I beat Brody home and got in the shower.  Once under the hot spray of the shower head I bent, stretching my legs again.  My calf was a little more sore than it should be already.  I'd have to take it easy for a couple days.

After I got out of the shower, I wrapped myself in a towel and walked towards the bedroom.  I paused in the doorway, flexing my foot to stretch my calf again.  "What are you doing?"  I jumped and stifled a yelp, then gritted my teeth and sucked in a shaky breath.  Brody was standing at his dresser, taking off his tie and watching me.  "Sorry," he said sheepishly.  "I didn't mean to scare you."

"Fuck," I said, taking another deep breath to slow my heart rate.  "I'm still so jumpy," I commented, my fingers moving to tug nervously on my wet hair.  My nightmares from my encounter with Jordan were all but gone, but I still just about jumped out of my skin every time the wind blew, it seemed.

"I thought you saw me," he said, coming over and pulling me into a hug.  "What were you doing?"

I tilted my head up for a kiss, and then said, "Stretching my calf.  I pissed it off at the gym tonight.  I'm not sure how, but it's definitely angry."  I stepped over to my dresser and pulled out a pair of shorts and a tank top and got dressed quickly.  I rubbed the towel over my head, trying not to tangle my hair hopelessly, and then went back into the bathroom to comb it out and hang up my towel.

We made our way downstairs and Brody got pizza onto plates for us while I got my laptop out.  We elected to sit on the living room floor, and I read him the email I'd gotten back from Leigh, with her opinions on a time line for the day.  We discussed it, agreed with what she'd suggested, and moved on to the guest list.

"Are you going to invite Jon and Nadine and the kids?" Brody asked, referring to my newly found grandparents and half-siblings.

"I don't know," I said, grimacing.  "I've been thinking about it and part of me wants to, but I just don't know.  Is it weird?"

He shrugged.  "I don't think it's weird.  It's your call, but I think you might regret it if you don't at least invite them.  You and Sarah have been talking fairly regularly."  That was true.  We texted weekly, sometimes as often as for an hour or two at a time, every couple days.  I had been meaning to try to plan a trip out to Utah to visit them, but then Brody proposed and everything got a little crazy.

"That's kind of what I was thinking too," I agreed.  "Okay, I'll put them on there."

It took us over an hour, but we finally finalized the guest list.  I emailed it to him so he could work on getting addresses for his people.  We spent the next half hour sending emails for addresses, and I sent the timeline and list to Lauren's mom.  Finally, we both set our laptops aside, done for the night.  We both moved up to the couch, and Brody reached down and pulled my feet into his lap.  I told him about what we'd worked out at work while he gently massaged first my right calf, then my sore left calf.

"I'm glad you got something figured out," he said, gently manipulating the tight muscle in my leg.  "You really did piss your calf off."

"I know," I pouted, wincing a little as he felt the knotted muscle.    He told me about his day while he gently worked at the stubborn muscle, finally getting it to loosen up a little.  He continued, working it a little looser, then shifted and ran his hands up my legs.  When he got to my hips, he paused and wrapped his hands around my waist, tugging me towards him and into a laying position.  Then he eased himself down between my legs, supporting his weight on his hands, which he planted next to my head.

He kissed me, and I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer.  He lowered himself onto his forearms, freeing one hand to stroke and play with my hair as we kissed.  We laid on the couch for a long time, making out like teenagers, until Brody finally sat up and pulled me up with him.  He pulled me into his lap and tugged my tank top up and over my head.  We both shed our clothing and I climbed back onto the couch, straddling Brody's legs.  I kissed him as his hands ran up and down my legs, then over my ass, then up to my breasts.  I moaned against his lips as he brushed his thumbs across my nipples, then moved his mouth to my neck.  His hands slid down my back and he cupped my ass, lifting me slightly and pulling me closer, and I guided him inside me.

When we were finished, we went straight up to get ready for bed. Brody had been getting up really early to get to work so he could get home at a reasonable time, and I was always up for going to bed early.  We got ready for bed together in the bathroom, brushing our teeth at the "his" and "hers" sinks and making faces at each other in the mirror.  I barely got my mouthful of toothpaste spit into the sink before I cracked up.  "Hi, we're 12," I said, once I caught my breath.

He spit and rinsed his mouth, then shrugged. "We have to act like adults all day at work, I see no reason to do so at home!"  He turned the water back and washed his hands, then flicked the remaining water off at me.

"Hey!" I shrieked, laughing again as he wrapped his arms around me in a bear hug and playfully nibbled at my neck.  I wiped the water off my face onto the shoulder of his t-shirt and slipped my arms around his waist. "I love you, you weirdo," I said, laughing against his chest.

"I love you too," he replied, tilting his head down to kiss me.

We got into bed and I curled up next to him with my head on his chest.  I loved going to bed early with him because it was nice to just lay with him and unwind a little before going to sleep.  "Are you happy about decreasing your hours at work?" he asked suddenly in the darkness.

"Yes, why?" I responded, confused.

"Well, when I suggested it, I thought there was a pretty good chance you'd tell me to fuck off," he said, chuckling.  "I was a little surprised when you said you'd get more options and I was really surprised when you came home today and had done it.  I guess work is just so important to you, and I want to make sure you're not doing it just to get this wedding planned, but secretly hating it.  Or hating me."

"I can't think of a scenario that would ever happen where I'd hate you," I replied.  "No, I mean, at first I was thinking I'd just get some information and that would be that.  Maybe I'd think about it for awhile, and by the time I decided, it would be too late for it to matter.  But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how much decreasing my hours a little would benefit me and my work.  And us."  I explained to him what I'd been thinking about, with the fewer hours giving me a little more energy to do really good work and take care of myself, since my job could be so emotionally draining.

"That makes sense," Brody agreed.  "So...are you thinking maybe longer term than just until the wedding?"

"I don't know," I replied.  "We'll see.  I want to see how it goes.  I can go back up to full time at any point, so I'm not worried about making any long term decisions now.  And obviously it would be something we could talk about."

"If you want to, we can, but I'm fine with whatever you want to do.  Unless my business goes under...then you might need to pick up a second job to support us."

I laughed and shook my head, shifting closer to Brody.  He tightened his arms around me and kissed the top of my head and we both settled down to go to sleep.


Kinsley texted me on Wednesday and asked if I was free for dinner.  I said yes hesitantly.  I hadn't heard from Lauren since Monday, even though I'd called her yesterday.  The last thing I wanted was to get in the middle of their bizarre feud, but I also didn't want to not see Kinsley just because of she and Lauren weren't on good terms.  And honestly, Lauren and I weren't on good terms at the moment either, since she'd also stormed out on me.

Luckily, Kinsley stayed away from the Lauren topic altogether.  She was--as usual--late, and she strolled in about 10 minutes after I had gotten there.  She sat down and smiled almost shyly.  "It's good to see you," I said sincerely.  "I'm glad you texted today."

I looked at her carefully as she returned my greeting.  She looked exhausted and her eyes were dull, but she smiled brightly at me.  "Thanks for coming.  I'm really sorry about what happened on Monday, and I hope you're not pissed at me."

"Not at all," I assured her.  "Though I do have to admit I'm a little worried about you with everything that happened.  How are you?"

"I'm fine," she said, nodding.  "Really."  She quickly changed the subject, and we talked about things of little importance as we shared an appetizer.  I followed her lead, knowing that if I pushed anything, all she'd do was shut down.  We were halfway through our meals before she said, "I forgot how much breakups suck.  Makes you wonder if relationships are even worth it."

"Breakups do suck," I agreed.  "Sometimes the relationships aren't worth the breakup.  Sometimes they are though."

"Maybe," Kinsley replied noncommittally.

"Kinsley, can I do anything?" I asked.  "I can't make the breakup suck any less, but I wouldn't have made it through my breakup with John without Lynn."  It was true.  Lynn was the one that had dragged me out of bed (much like Lauren and Kinsley had when Brody had left for Miami last summer) and kept me moving forward.  "I'd offer to come drag you out somewhere to get back into the world, but you clearly don't need help there!"  Fortunately, Kinsley found this funny and laughed.

"No...but I have a really weird favor to ask you," she said.

"Anything," I replied, hopeful that maybe she'd open up a little.

"So, Tinder."  I nodded.  "I have a few dates set up, and I'm not worried, but I'm also not stupid.  Can I let you know where I'm going and who I'm going with, that way if I disappear at least someone knows some information to give to the police?"

I forced my face to stay neutral.  She laughed as she said it, and I agree that it was probably smart, but putting those words to it was a little anxiety-producing.  "Absolutely," I said.  "But I swear to you, if you forget to let me know that you're home safely, I will send the police to the poor dude's house.  You just asked the most anxious person you know to be anxious for you, so don't forget to let me know!"

"You're also the least asshole-ish person I know, so I think you're perfect for the job," Kinsley said.  That was the only allusion she made to the stuff with Lauren all night.  The rest of our dinner was normal, and despite a few bitter/cynical comments from Kinsley, and her tired, dull eyes, she really did seem like she was doing okay.  I had a feeling she wasn't, but I hoped she'd talk to someone at some point.

I tried calling Lauren again on my way home, and it rang one and a half times before it her voicemail picked up.  It was pretty clear she'd declined the call and I hung up without leaving a message, wondering if she was really that mad at me for what I'd said on Monday or if there was something else going on.