Lauren: Forever

As I was writing this, I realized it's been several weeks since the last Lauren post.  If you need a refresher, you can find it here.
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After our makeup sex, I fall back to sleep.  I really did sleep terribly last night.  I feel kind of bad that I'm spending our last day here sleeping, but that's what happens when you're a dick, Alex.

By 1pm, I'm awake again, but I'm not really happy about it.  Alex is hanging out on the small couch in the room, watching TV with the volume really low.  I groan and roll over onto my side, curling into a ball and then stretching out.  "Are you awake for real this time, or are you just going to swear at me and go back to sleep like you did when I got up?" Alex asks with a smirk.

"Did I?" I ask, yawning.  "I don't remember that."

"You sure did," he replies, standing up and walking over to the bed.  He sits on the edge of the bed and pushes my hair away from my face.  "You were using my arm as a pillow, so you didn't appreciate when I extracted my perfectly numb fingers from under your neck."

"Well you wouldn't like if I yanked your pillow out from under your head while you were sleeping either," I retort, rolling onto my back and stretching again.

He chuckles.  "My arm isn't a pillow, babe," he teases me.

I roll my eyes and drag myself into a sitting position.  As the grogginess from my extended nap starts to clear, I look more carefully at Alex.  Despite his joking, his eyes looked dull and a little sad.  "What?" he asks, aware of my scrutinization.

"I just realized how shitty it must feel to have to choose between your parents and your girlfriend," I say softly.

"I didn't have to do anything," he snaps defensively.  I look at him in surprise.  That was a response I'd expect to come out of my mouth, not his.

"I didn't mean--" I start.

He shakes his head, stopping me.  "I'm sorry," he apologizes.  "You're right.  It's a pretty shitty situation.  But I don't want you to feel like I'm upset because I chose you.  I'm upset because I'm hurt that my mom would be so terrible to you, and I'm upset that I didn't even realize it."

"I'm sorry," I say, not sure what else to say.

"That's a very Wisconsin thing to do," he replies, giving me a weak smile.

I frown in confusion.  "What is?"

"Apologizing for something that isn't your fault."

I snort and shift closer to him.  His arm lifts and wraps around my shoulders automatically, and I snuggle against him in a rare show of affection.  We sit silently for awhile, until I ask, "What do you want to do the rest of the day?"

Neither of us feel up to doing much, so we end up wandering back down to the riverfront and meandering around for a couple hours.  Later, when we're sitting in a restaurant waiting for our dinner, Alex says, "I want to go skiing."

"Um, okay?" I reply, confused by how random it is.  "So go."

"Do you want to go?" he asks me.

I make a face.  I hate skiing.  "Not really," I reply.  He frowns, and I continue, "You know what will happen if I go with you?  I'll be miserable and I'll complain and you'll feel like you have to pay attention to me so you won't get to ski as much as you want to, and then I'll feel bad.  Why don't you ask the guys to go?  You guys can plan a weekend or something.  You'll have more fun that way."

He smirks and says, "I was hoping you'd say that."

"You asshole," I say, laughing.  "You could have just said, 'I want to go skiing and I was thinking about planning a weekend with the guys.'  I would have told you to have a great time.  Don't be an idiot."

"It's just so much better when it's your idea, though!" he replies, grinning at me.  I roll my eyes but I'm glad that his mood has improved.  He's usually so laid back and cheerful, and I hate when he's upset.  I hate it even more when I can't fix it.

We finally relax back into normal, taking jabs at each other and being sarcastic jerks.  When we leave the restaurant, I even let him put his arm around me as we walk.  We're adorably disgusting.  We end up back in our room early in the evening, laying in bed with the TV on.  I cuddle up to Alex, slipping my fingertips beneath his shirt and dragging them lightly along his stomach, just above the waistband of his shorts.

"Mmm, what are you doing?" he asks, sliding his fingers under my hair and rubbing my scalp just above my neck.

"Nothing," I reply innocently, moving just the tips of my fingers under the waistband of his shorts.

"Oh, okay.  Well, you just keep doing nothing, then," he says, laughing.

"Don't boss me," I retort, withdrawing my fingers.  He groans good-naturedly and I slowly slip my fingers back under the waistband of his shorts.  We lay there quietly for awhile as I continue to tease him, sliding my fingers down a little further with pass across his stomach I make.  I eventually tip my head up and press my lips against his throat, which earns a soft sigh.  Finally, I sit up and tug at his shirt.  He leans forward and lets me pull it over his head before he pulls me against him, kissing me softly.

Unlike our fast and furious makeup sex earlier that day, neither of us is in a hurry for anything now.  We take our time, hands and mouths exploring and teasing.  Alex suddenly takes his mouth off my collarbone and looks at me seriously.  "Lauren," he says softly.

"What?" I ask, trying not to be irritated at the interruption.  I soften when I see how he's looking at me.

He stares at me for several seconds before he says, "I love you."

"I know," I reply, resisting the urge to add 'you idiot'.  "I love you, too."  He sits up and I'm really confused.  "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he assures me.  He stands up and walks over to his suitcase, coming back with a small, black velvet box.  I immediately panic, and he sees it in my face.  "Don't freak out," he says, shaking his head.  "I'm not proposing to you, I know better than that."  I relax slightly, because the last thing I want to do is ruin our day now by turning down a marriage proposal.

He sits on the edge of the bed and neither of us seem to notice that we're both naked.  We're so comfortable around each other that it doesn't matter.  He toys with the box in his hands for a couple seconds before he speaks, still looking at the box.  "I was out wandering around earlier today, while you were sleeping.  I wandered into this little jewelry store, more out of boredom than anything.  I happened to find a ring that I thought you'd love."  He pauses to look up at me.  "Look, like I said, I know better than to ask you to marry me, but it's not going to stop me from wanting to spend the rest of my life with you.  So this isn't an engagement ring, more like a 'just be with me forever' ring." And with that, he thrust the box at me, looking nervous as hell.

I'm nervous too, but probably for a different reason.  I'm worried for him--is he giving up a relationship with his parents forever because of me?  I don't want that for him.  I never wanted that, even during Thanksgiving dinner when I felt so disrespected by her.  I grin at him and quip, "That's some 'spend the rest of your life with me' speech you came up with."

Alex lets out a sigh of relief as a smile splits his face.  "I figured you'd like it better than a sappy one," he retorts.  "Plus, it's not like I had a lot of time to think about it."

"So you're impulsively asking me to spend forever with you?" I tease him.

"No," he replies seriously.  "I'm only impulsively doing it today.  I've put a lot of thought into spending forever with you."

Hesitantly, I ask, "Are you doing this because of your--"

"No!" he interrupts, shaking his head.  "Actually, I was going to wait.  I found the ring today like I said, but I was planning to wait.  I was going to plan something, and then I realized you'd hate that.  So I was going to wait for a good time to do it once we were back at home, but..." he trails off and shrugs.  "I just got the urge to do it now.  So can you stop being a dick and at least look at the ring?"

I laugh and slowly open the ring box.  I can't help it, I gasp in a perfectly cliche and stereotypical way.  The ring is absolutely stunning.  The center stone is a brilliant radiant-cut emerald, and it's flanked on either side by a round diamond in a square setting.  "Alex..." I murmur, turning the ring box in my hands to look at it better.  "It's amazing."

I look up and he's watching me intently.  "I know how much you hate rings that only have diamonds," he says, shrugging.  It's true.  They're boring.  "And since emerald is both of our birthstone, when I saw it, I knew it was perfect."

"It is," I agree.  I realize that I'm blinking back tears, and I shake my head.

"And, I mean, I don't really care which hand you wear it on.  It's not an engagement ring.  So wear it wherever."  But I can't help but notice the small smile that appears when I slip it onto my left ring finger anyway.

"So is this the part where I verbally agree that I'm cool with only sleeping with you forever?" I ask, trying to downplay my emotions.

"Actually, putting that ring on your finger is a binding contract already," he replies, smirking.  "Probably should have mentioned that, my bad."

"Did you really just say 'my bad'?" I ask.  "Gross.  Take this back."

"Too late, you're stuck with me!" he crows.

I laugh and throw my arms around his neck, becoming suddenly aware that we're both still naked.  A naked non-proposal is totally "us", though.  "I love you," I say softly, laying my head on his shoulder.  "And I'd be thrilled to spend the rest of my life with you."

"I love you, too," he says, hugging me tightly.  My mouth finds his and we quickly pick up where we had left off.

I roll away from him over an hour later, out of breath and worn out.  We both lie there--not touching--for a couple minutes until we recover, then Alex rolls towards me, slinging an arm around my waist and pulling my body against his.  His hand searches out my left hand and he toys with my new ring, twisting it a little.  "It's a little big," he comments.

"I know," I reply.  "I think I'd probably better move it to my right hand until we get back and I can get it sized."

"You don't have to wear it on your left hand," he says.  "If it fits on the right, you could just wear it there."

"I want to wear it on my left hand," I tell him.  "It might confuse people a little, but it makes sense to me."

"Well, I'm certainly not going to argue with you."

"It's about time," I tease him.  He laughs and nuzzles his face against my neck, kissing my neck and shoulder before settling his head there, his breath blowing softly across my shoulder.  Laying there in the dark with him, I'm finally able to push the rest of my worry about his mom and his relationship with his mom out of my head.  For now, I'm just going to enjoy that, for some reason, this wonderful man wants to be with me forever.