Attack of the Clones

I sat in the parking lot of the restaurant in my car until I saw Nadine and Jon's car pull up and park.  I got out, feeling nervous again, and walked towards them.  By the time I got there, everyone was out of the car and I couldn't hide my smile as I watched a small boy bounce around, excitedly talking to Nadine about something.

"Hi again," I said in greeting.  The little boy stopped and stared awkwardly at me for several seconds before breaking into a huge grin.  I smiled back.

Nadine introduced us.  "Sarah, AJ, this is Olivia.  Olivia, this is Sarah.  She's 14.  And this is AJ, he's--"

"NINE!  I'm nine!" AJ shrieked joyfully, before turning back to Nadine.  "Can we go inside?  I'm hungry!"

Jon chuckled.  "These kids can eat.  You'd never believe it, with how small they are."

"Actually, I would believe it," I replied.  I looked at Sarah.  She was peering sullenly at me through a curtain of long, blonde hair with bright purple streaks.  Aside from the purple streaks and the scowl, she was the spitting image of 14-year-old me.  It was actually a little off-putting.  She was tiny--they both were, and any lingering doubt I might have had about whether or not these kids were related to me was wiped away.

"Hi Sarah," I said to her, smiling kindly.  "It's nice to meet you."

"Hi," she replied, her voice so soft I barely heard her.  She didn't smile, she didn't say anything else.  Just stared up at me.

"Have you been here before?" I asked, motioning towards the restaurant we were starting to walk towards.  She shook her head silently.  "Me neither.  I haven't lived here very long.  I've heard it's good."  She nodded, looking for a second as though she was going to speak, then she lowered her eyes and said nothing.

Ahead of us, AJ was babbling away to Nadine and Jon.  His sandy blonde hair flopped into his eyes from his cowlick just like mine does when it's shorter.  I suddenly felt completely overwhelmed by the fact that these people were the relatives of a father I never knew, were my relatives, my siblings.  Once we were seated, I excused myself to go to the bathroom, but slipped outside instead.  I pulled my phone out and dialed Lauren's number, praying she'd pick up.

"Hey Liv!  How'd the meet and greet go?" she asked cheerfully when she answered.  I sighed in relief.

"I'm having lunch with them and the kids.  The kids, Lauren.  My god, they're like....mini mes.  It's so weird."

"Wait, you're doing what?  With the kids?  Seriously?  Wow.  Are you okay?"  She paused for a second then said, "You're not okay, because you're calling me when you should be eating lunch with them."

"I don't know.  I was fine, but then I just got really overwhelmed.  This was a bad idea.  Maybe I should just go.  I should have just stuck with meeting Nadine and Jon today, and met the kids another time.  I'm freaking out."  My hands were starting to shake and I sat down heavily on a bench near the door.

"Breathe, Olivia," Lauren prompted me.  "If you need to go, then go.  I'm sure they'll understand.  I think you might regret leaving now, though."  I knew she was right.  Just talking to Lauren had a weird, calming effect and I was already feeling a little better.

I heard a familiar male voice in the background, and Lauren said something back that I couldn't hear.  "Are you with Alex?  I can let you go, I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"Don't be dumb, Liv.  Yes, I'm with Alex, but you have nothing to be sorry for.  If I was busy, I wouldn't have answered.  We can talk as long as you need to."  Thank god for Lauren.

"Thanks, Laur.  I think I'm okay, I should get back in there.  Thank you for listening."  We said goodbye and hung up.  I took a deep breath and walked back inside.  I made my way back to the table.  "Sorry," I said sheepishly.  "I got a phone call I had to take.  I hope you weren't waiting for me."

"The kids ordered, but we haven't yet," Nadine said kindly.  I looked at the menu quickly and was ready to order when the server came back.  We ordered and Nadine instructed him to go ahead and bring the kids' food out as soon as it was ready.  Sarah sat across from me, and I'd notice her watching me from behind her hair occasionally.  As soon as I'd look over and smile, she'd return her eyes to her cell phone in her lap.  At one point, Nadine leaned over and whispered something to her.  Sarah scowled and shifted, presumably shoving her phone into her pocket.

Sarah barely said 3 words through the whole meal.  AJ, on the other hand, talked my ear off about school, movies he'd seen, and skiing lessons.  He had so much energy and enthusiasm, and I couldn't help but smile every time he talked.  Nadine and I tried hard to pull Sarah into the conversation, but she resisted our efforts.  My heart went out to her.  Her dad had died, she had been removed from her mom's care, moved to a new town, and entered the awkward adolescent phase, all within a few short years. No wonder she was sullen and quiet.

We were at the restaurant for over an hour, and I relaxed throughout the meal.  As we walked out, a small hand on my arm stopped me right outside the door.  I turned to Sarah, who said, "Do you think...could I text you sometimes?  Grandma is great, but she's kind of, well...old, and she doesn't get it sometimes."  I was surprised to hear full sentences coming from her, and even more shocked that she was asking to contact me.

"I'd be okay with that," I replied carefully, "but if you don't mind, I'd like to check with your Grandma first.  I don't know what her rules are, and I don't want you to get in trouble or anything."  I smiled warmly to show her that I was interested in talking to her more.

"That's fine, I don't think she'll mind," Sarah said.  Then, she dropped her head, hiding once again behind her cascading blonde and purple hair, and walked towards the car.  When we got there, I pulled Nadine aside and explained Sarah's request.  She beamed at me, her eyes shining.

"If you're okay with that, it would be wonderful.  She's been through so much, and we have her in therapy but she won't talk much with her therapist.  It would be so great for her to have someone to talk to."  Nadine looked like she was starting to get emotional again, and I started to feel a little overwhelmed for the second time in the last hour.

I nodded, though.  "Yeah, it's totally fine with me.  I'd be happy to chat with her sometimes.  I'll give her my number."

Nadine's face got stormy for a second, and she said, "Olivia?  I...worry about her sometimes, and well...if she tells you anything..." she trailed off, her eyes pleading with me to understand what she couldn't say.

"If she tells me anything concerning, I'll let you know right away," I assured her.  "Otherwise, her crushes and friend dramas are safe with me."  It was my way of letting her know that I'd tell her anything that was alarming but I wouldn't be providing a full report of every conversation.  That seemed to satisfy her and she nodded happily.  I walked over to Sarah and we exchanged cell numbers.  She flashed me the smallest, briefest smile before she got into the car--the first time she had smiled since she got out of the car.

AJ threw his arms around my waist in a surprising and hasty hug before bounding back into the car.  Just watching him run around was making me tired.  Jon shook my hand and patted my shoulder before climbing into the driver's seat.  Nadine turned to me.  "Would it be okay if I hugged you?" she asked tentatively.  I smiled and gave her a hug.  We said goodbye, with Nadine promising to let me know the next time they were in the area.

I got into my car and blew out the deep breath I had been holding while I walked from their car to mine.    I sat for a few minutes while I gathered myself, and I sent a quick text to Lauren that said, "You were right, glad I stayed.  Went well, tell you later."  Then I sent one to Brody letting him know I was on my way home and he could come over whenever he was done.

When I got home, I thought about calling my mom and filling her in, but I decided I wanted to wrap my head around it all a little more first.  Instead, I called James.

"Who can I investigate for you today, Miss Olivia?" he answered.

"Do you ever just say 'hi'?" I asked.

He laughed.  "Sometimes.  How are you?"

"I'm good.  I just wanted to let you know that I met Nadine and Jonathan today and it went well.  So thanks again for the info on them.  I really appreciate it."

"Good to hear.  And I told you, it's no problem and I was happy to help.  Did they tell you anything about the kids?" he asked curiously.

"Actually," I replied, "I met them too.  They look just like me.  It was really weird."

"Well, at least you know they're related to you then," he said.

"Yeah, they definitely are."  We talked for a few more minutes and then said goodbye.

I still felt a little unsettled but got up to take care of the cleaning I wanted to get done.  I was vacuuming when Brody walked in.  I quickly finished and turned off the vacuum.  He hugged me.  "Good thing you gave me that key," he said with a grin.  "I rang the doorbell twice and knocked."

"So what you mean is that you can't take a hint?" I asked, smirking at him. 

He laughed.  "I guess I'll go then," he said, starting to turn back towards the door.

"Noooo," I said, laughing.  I flopped on the couch and he took off his shoes and sat next to me. 

"How'd lunch go?" he asked, once we were settled. 

I grimaced and shrugged.  "I'm not entirely sure.  The kids are obviously related to me.  Something about that made me panic, and I almost left.  Lauren talked me down, but I literally walked out of the restaurant and called her, freaking out.  The boy, AJ, is 9, and he has tons of energy and was lots of fun.  Sarah is 14, and she said about 5 words until we were walking out.  She pulled me aside and asked if she could have my number.  Nadine says she's in therapy but doesn't talk to her therapist.  She looked so...beaten down.  But I bet there's a really sweet girl under there somewhere.  I ended up having a nice time and relaxing, so I'm glad I didn't leave, but it was definitely a little unnerving to see two carbon copies of younger me get out of their car."

"I bet," Brody replied, putting his arm around me.  "I'm really impressed that you went and met them, especially the kids.  I was thinking about it and I'm not sure I could have done it."   

"It was mostly curiosity.  I'm really glad I did it.  I hope Sarah gets in touch with me.  She looked like she could use a friend."

Brody stayed for a couple hours.  We ate leftover pork from Friday and did absolutely nothing else besides lay on my couch.  Brody left around 7 after we made plans to meet for dinner on Wednesday. 

I called Lauren and filled her in on how the rest of lunch went, and made plans to meet her, Kinsley, and Cassie for dinner on Tuesday.

After I hung up with Lauren, I thought about how I'd never have made plans to go out with friends so much in Wisconsin.  Between dinner with the girls, dinner with Brody, and happy hour on Thursday, I'd barely be home this week.  I was such a homebody in Wisconsin--granted, I was in school and had so much homework to do most of the time that I didn't have time to make fun plans, but it was crazy how much that had changed.  I wouldn't trade it for anything.