Thursday, April 30, 2015

(Then/Now) Cassie: I Fucked Up

November 2008

"Oh come on," Savannah wheedled.  I regarded my cousin with disdain.  I didn't really care for Savannah, but now that she was going to school in Denver, she seemed to pop up whenever she needed something.

"No, Savannah.  My dad keeps inventory."  If she thought that I was seriously going to sneak her into my dad's restaurant in the middle of the night so she could steal some booze from his storeroom, she was out of her fucking mind.

"It's fine, I have some empties.  I'll fill them up with water.  I only drink clear liquor anyway," she reported.  "He won't even notice for months if we take the right bottles.  Don't be a pansy."

I didn't really care what kind of liquor she drank.  We were both 20, and apparently the latest boy she'd been sleeping with--who had, of course, also been buying her booze--had decided she was too high maintenance for his tastes and had taken his I.D. and credit card (and the rest of him, but that was apparently easily enough to replace) away.

"Go away," I said, holding open the door to my tiny apartment.  It was a studio (which Savannah disapproved of completely), but I was paying my tuition and my rent on my own, and I was proud of that.

"You are so lame," Savannah replied, but she flounced out the door.  I closed it tightly behind her and looked at the clock.  Shit, Savannah had distracted me for too long, I needed to get ready for work.

I pulled into the parking lot of my dad's restaurant, which I'd been working at since I was 15, and parked my car.  My watch read 4:49, which meant that I had one minute to get inside and clock in  before bar time said I was late.  I grabbed my stuff and booked it inside, clocking in seconds after the clock had changed to 5:00.  Stupid bar time.

We were dead that night, and I had my sidework done and was out by 9:30.  I also hadn't made shit for tips.  Oh well.  Tomorrow--Friday--would be better for sure.

I had a message on my phone, and I rolled my eyes when I listened to it.  It was Savannah, continuing to bug me about getting her in so she could take some alcohol.  I deleted it and didn't call back.  I didn't understand why she couldn't just find a new 21+ toy to play with.

Over the next week, though, Savannah badgered me to my breaking point.  I finally agreed to let her in for one bottle.  My dad made a ridiculous profit on alcohol anyway.  And hopefully after that she would let it be.

We went at 3am on a Saturday.  I pulled my car up behind the restaurant.  I had to go in the front door to disarm the security system, but Savannah insisted on waiting for me to open the kitchen door for her.   As I unlocked the front door, I looked automatically up at the camera like I always did, and I realized why.  "Bitch," I muttered.  I could think of a million ways to explain away my presence though, if my dad looked at the tapes for some reason.  And hopefully, like Savannah said, he wouldn't even realize his alcohol had been tampered with until months later, so he wouldn't put two and two together.  Hopefully.

My stomach roiled and clenched with nerves and I botched my first attempt at disarming the alarm.  "Shit, shit, shit!" I muttered to myself.  I quickly put in the correct numbers as the warning beeps grew louder and closer together, signaling that I was running out of time.  When it chirped and quieted, I briefly shut my eyes as I breathed out in relief.

Why am I doing this? I wondered to myself.  I was seriously questioning my own sanity, but it was too late now.  I walked quickly through the dark restaurant and flipped on the kitchen light--the only one that wouldn't be seen from outside.  Then I hurried to the kitchen door and pushed it open.  Savannah stepped in, looking as cool and collected as she always did.  "I was starting to think you wussed out and left me here alone," she sniffed.

I rolled my eyes and led the way to the store room where my dad kept the extra alcohol.  I unlocked it quickly and pushed the door open.  Savannah tried to slip past me but I put an arm up, blocking her.  "No way," I said.  "I know how this stuff is organized.  Give me your bottle and I'll make the swap."   She sighed and handed me the Ketel One bottle and I quickly found the case of Ketel One and pulled out one bottle and stuck hers in.

"Here," I said bitterly, handing it to her.  "Go straight out the kitchen door and don't touch anything else.  I'm turning the light off."  She took out her cell phone to illuminate the way.  I waited until she was at the door and flipped it off.  I heard the door open and I made my way back to the front.  I was insanely nervous again, and I peeked out into the parking lot before I emerged.  I locked the door quickly and walked around to the back.  Savannah was already sitting in the car.  I glanced at the kitchen door, then started the car and drove home.

"Never, ever again," I reiterated as Savannah and I got out of my car in front of my apartment building.

"You are such a drag," she replied.  "Thanks though!"  I waited until she was in her car, then I headed into my apartment.  I was shaking from the adrenaline of what I had just done, and I was so tired.  It was nearly 4 am by this point.  I pulled off my clothes and fell into bed, tossing and turning for nearly an hour before I finally fell asleep.

I was awakened rudely by my phone ringing loudly.  I fumbled for it before I realized it was still in the pocket of my jeans, which were across the room.  I squinted at the clock and saw it was only a little after 7.  The ringing stopped, and I decided I'd take care of it when I got up.  I rolled over and started to try to go back to sleep, but my phone rang again.  Swearing, I stumbled out of bed and fished it out, then answered.

"Cassandra."  My mom's voice was tight and anxious sounding.

"Yeah?"

"Your father's restaurant is on fire."  I was silent, trying to wrap my brain around those words.  "Cassandra?"

"Mom, don't call me that," I replied pointlessly.  "On fire?"

"On fire," she reported.  "The fire department is there now trying to put it out.  Your father is down there."

Suddenly, panic jolted me.  I would clearly be on tape, entering and exiting the restaurant at 3 in the morning.  Would they blame me?  "I...wow.  D-do they know how it...started?"  The words weren't coming out the way I wanted them to.

"Of course they don't," my mom snapped, and I could tell she was losing her patience.  "It's still burning."

"What can I do?"

"Nothing, right now," she replied, and her voice was kinder.  "I'll keep you posted, I just wanted you to know.  I didn't want you to get up and turn on the news and hear about it that way."  Like I watch the news on Saturday mornings.

We said goodbye and hung up, and I immediately dialed Savannah's number.  It went right to voicemail.  I cursed and left her a curt message demanding she call me back as soon as she got up.  I didn't even bother laying back down.  Instead, I got up and made myself some coffee.  I sat down with it, but was only able to sit for a few minutes.  I didn't know what to do.  I decided to go for a run.

I'm not a runner, but running is what people do when they're stressed, right?  Well, I'm not sure how it helps.  All it did was make me sweaty, sore, and out of breath.  I got back and took a shower.  I was checking my phone over and over but Savannah hadn't called back yet.  Finally, I got in my car and drove to her apartment.

I slipped into the controlled access building with someone else and ran up the 6 flights of stairs to her apartment.  I pounded on her door for nearly a minute straight until she finally opened it.

"What the hell, Cassie?" she demanded.

"My dad's restaurant is on FIRE!" I practically shrieked, shoving my way into her apartment.

"I know," she replied.

I stopped dead in my tracks and turned.  "What do you mean, you know?" I asked.

"It's all over the news, don't look at me like that."

"Well what am I supposed to do?  My face is all over the security footage."

Savannah shrugged.  "It'll probably be destroyed in the fire."

"And if it's not?" I demanded.

"Your dad won't ever believe that you arsoned his restaurant," she said dismissively.  It was clear she wasn't at all worried.  I couldn't stay here with her, she was pissing me off.

After I left, I decided to drive to the restaurant.  When I got there, I realized Savannah was most likely right that there would be nothing left of the security tapes.  The restaurant was still on fire.  Firemen were everywhere.  I had to park several parking lots over.  I sat and watched the firemen fight the blaze for nearly an hour.  It didn't seem like they were making any progress.  I felt absolutely sick.  Regardless of how they determined the fire was started, my dad's restaurant was destroyed.

My mom finally called me the next day.  "It's out," she reported.  "It's gone.  They'll tear down what's left."

"Do they have an idea how it happened?" I asked meekly.  I was exhausted.  I hadn't slept.  I still felt vaguely like I was going to throw up.

"They think it was arson," my mom replied, and my worst fear was confirmed.  I sat down hard on the floor.

"Shit," I muttered.

"Cassandra," my mom warned, but it was a very lackluster warning.

"Is there anything left?" I asked desperately.  "The security tapes?  Can they see who was there?"

"The tapes didn't make it." I breathed a sigh of relief and said a silent prayer of thanks.  I realized my mom was still talking.  "Which is unfortunate.  Since it's arson, the insurance won't pay unless we can prove who did it.  Your father and I just lost a lot of money."


*****

Now

I sat in the conference room in Brody's office suite and looked at Liv, willing her to be sympathetic.  Instead, she just looked confused.  I don't blame her.  She thought I was coming here to explain what was going on, and I had just told her a story from nearly 7 years ago.  I was planning on telling them what was going on, but the story was necessary.

"Okay, and?" Brody asked.  Even from here I could see the set of his jaw.  I looked at James, who nodded reassuringly.

"In June, Savannah and I were forced together for my brother's birthday dinner.  I mentioned that I had a new neighbor," I looked pointedly at Liv, "and she was suddenly really interested.  She told me she wanted to know more about you, but didn't want me to tell you I knew her.  It was fine at first.  We had a few conversations, I fed her a little info, she mostly left me alone.  When I realized she was scheming, I said no more."  I looked desperately at Liv, whose expression morphed briefly from confused to angry before she smoothed it into a placid, expressionless mask.  Her therapist face.  "I was getting to know you, and I liked you.  And I didn't want to be in the middle of her feud."

"But you kept telling her things anyway," Liv said.  "That's how she knew about my dinner with John.  That's how she knows about James and Jordan.  You just kept telling her.  Plus, you took that job to spy on us!  And what does your story about the fire have to do with any of this?  Because I'm starting to feel like you're wasting some more of my time, and I'm not very happy about it."  Brody laid a hand on her leg, but she brushed it off.  She was working hard to keep her face unreadable, but she was clearly furious.  I couldn't blame her.

"I'm getting to that," I replied patiently.  I took another deep breath and James bumped my knee with his under the table.  "When I told her I didn't want to do it anymore, she showed me that she had pictures of me in the restaurant the night it burned down.  She had taken them on her phone, and they sucked, but it was clearly me.  And they were date stamped on the phone.  I don't know where she'd been keeping that stupid old thing, or why, but she had it.  She said she'd tell my dad."

Liv's expression didn't change, but a muscle in Brody's tightly clenched jaw twitched.  I was worried about his teeth.  "I couldn't bear for my dad to know I had been in the restaurant that night.  I still don't know if Savannah set me up or if it was a big coincidence, but my dad lost the most profitable of his establishments that night.  He would be devastated to think I had something to do with it."

Liv and Brody remained silent so I continued.  "I was desperately trying to figure out a way out of it by the time she started asking me to stir up some rumors about Brody doing illegal business.  I was trying to avoid you, so I wouldn't have much to say to her.  She told me this was the last thing she wanted from me.  When everything backfired and you supported Brody and the rumors didn't take, Savannah told me to just get out of the way.  That's why I went to my parents' house.  I just needed to get out of here and be somewhere where I couldn't do any more damage."

"So why are you telling us this now?" Liv asked, her tone bitter.

"Because I heard about what she did this weekend.  Enough is enough."

Liv snorted and rolled her eyes.  I had never seen her this angry.  Brody put his hand back on her leg and this time she allowed it to stay.  "So what do you want from us now?" Brody asked.

"Nothing," I replied honestly.  "I wanted you guys to know the truth.  I want to apologize.  I'm so incredibly sorry.  I fucked up.  I fucked up really, really badly, and I regret every second of it.  I don't expect you to accept it, or to forgive me.  I just want you to know.  I told my dad everything, too.  He called her dad and he flew out this morning to collect her and take her back to California.  I don't know what they're going to do, but I'm pretty sure she's done gallivanting around with my uncle's credit card."

I tried hard not to shrink under Liv's glare.  Brody nodded though.  "Thank you," he said, surprising me.  Apparently it surprised Liv too, because she gave him a funny look.  "I appreciate you telling us this, but now you need to leave.  And I think it would probably be best if you didn't contact either of us unless we contact you first."

"That's fair," I agreed.

"It doesn't fucking matter if it's fair," Liv snapped.

"Liv--" Brody started.

"No!" she interrupted.  "She doesn't get to come in here and talk about "fair" after the shit she's done."

"I get it," I said softly.  "I deserved that."

Liv looked about ready to throw something at me.  "It's time for you to go," Brody said.  He motioned to the door and James and I stood.  He walked us silently to the door of the suite and held it open.  I heard the lock click behind us.

"Well," James said.  "Now what?"

I shook my head.  "I have no idea."




 

Cabin Fever Part 2

I woke up to yelling.  I rolled over and saw Brody wasn't in bed anymore.  I pulled on a pair of pants and a sweatshirt and walked out of the room to see what was going on.

"You guys are such hypocritical fucking assholes!" I heard Savannah shriek as I got closer to the living room.  I heard Kendra's voice but couldn't make out what she said.  "Shut up, Kendra!  You're the worst of them all!"

I walked into the living room and saw Savannah standing in the middle of the room, looking rather disheveled.  Brody was standing a few feet away with Kevin, and Kendra was there too. 

"Oh look, if it isn't little miss fucking sunshine herself!" Savannah yelled, as I walked into the room.  "Sorry, princess, did I wake you up?"  Brody gave me a hard look, clearly intended to get me to keep my mouth shut.  I leaned against the wall and stared over Savannah's shoulder.

"I don't even know why you think she's so fucking great," Savannah said loudly, now talking to Brody.  "I got you sent to Miami to help you.  And what do you do?  Come back and ruin all my hard work!  She didn't even care that you were gone!  She barely waited until your plane took off before she was dating someone else.  She's a whore."

I was getting angry now, and I fidgeted as I tried to keep my mouth shut.

"Stop," Brody said calmly.  "You need to go.  You can't be here.  If you need it, Kevin will drive you down to town in your car."

Savannah continued her tirade, ignoring Brody.  She turned towards me again.  "You don't actually think he's faithful to you, do you?"  I clenched my fists, trying to ignore her words.  I couldn't bring myself to leave the room, though looking back, I wished I would have.  "All those phone calls...the long hours at the office.  He could be doing anything.  Lord knows he can't stick with one person for long.  There have probably been at least a dozen other women.  I hope you guys are using condoms.  You should probably go get--"

"Enough!" Brody snapped.  "Savannah, let's go."

"Though," she continued, "I guess that probably doesn't bother you, what with how fast you moved right on to James.  Are you still fucking him?"  I ground my teeth together, willing myself to keep my mouth shut and not make it worse.  "You know, if you wanted to fuck two guys at the same time, you should have chosen James.  Then you could have had him and Jordan."

At that, I lost any illusion of control that I had and lunged at Savannah.  I got close enough to hit her and cocked my fist back, but Brody was faster and wrapped his arm around my waist, yanking me back right as my fist flew towards Savannah's face.  I felt the heat from her skin on my knuckles but didn't actually connect with anything but the air in front of her face.  I tried to push forward again but Brody was dragging me backwards, and Kevin had Savannah by the arms.  I struggled against Brody's grip, bound and determined to punch Savannah in the face, like I should have done a long time ago.

"Come on, Liv, it's not worth it," Brody tried to reason with me.  I had held my anger at her in for too long though, and I was determined to get my hands on her.  I twisted violently and actually slipped out of his grip, only to be grabbed by Alex, who had just come into the room--summoned, I'm sure, by the sounds of chaos.  I was almost out of his hands too when Brody wrapped his arms around me, pinning me against his chest with my arms at my side.  "Jesus, Olivia, knock it off and walk out of this room with me."  I continued to struggle weakly but could barely move.  "She's not even in here anymore," he snapped.  I stopped wiggling and squirming and tried to take a deep breath.  It ended up as more of a series of short, ragged inhalations, and I blew it out hard.  "If I let go of you, are you going to walk out of here with me?" he asked, and the calm was back in his voice. 

"Yes," I muttered bitterly.  He let go of me slowly then gently took my arm and steered me back in the direction of the bedroom.  When he got me inside it, he shut the door and leaned against it, regarding me carefully.  I stomped over to the bathroom door and slammed my heel against the doorframe hard enough to make the door tremble on its hinges.  I did it again.  And again.  And one more time, before I slumped onto the floor and put my head on my knees.

Brody approached me tentatively, then slid down next to me.  He pulled me against him and I laid my head on his chest and tried to match my quick, shallow breaths to his to slow them down.  "I fucking hate her," I growled.  "How does she even know about any of that?"

"I don't know," Brody said softly.  "But it was a really shitty thing for her to say.  Especially if she actually knows what happened."  He stroked my hair and I started to calm down.

"I hate her," I said again.  "I hope she drives her car off the side of the goddamned mountain."

Brody chuckled, and I sat up quickly, glaring at him.  "I'm sorry," he said quickly.  "I didn't mean to laugh.  It's just...you're so little, but it was like trying to contain a hungry Tasmanian devil with my bare hands.  The cartoon one, not a real one."    I smiled a little at that.

Suddenly, his face changed and he looked anxious.  "Liv," he started hesitantly.  "What she said?  About other women?  You know-"

I cut him off.  "She's full of shit," I said.  "I mean, yeah, you've had about a million chances if you wanted to do something, but I don't have any reason to think that you have."  His eyes searched my face, as if he didn't quite believe that I believed that.  "Brody," I said, taking his hand.  "You've never done anything to make me not trust you."

He nodded and hugged me.  "Okay, good.  Because I'd never do that to you.  Or to anyone.  I'd run some illegal business ventures before I'd cheat."

"I know," I said, entwining my fingers in his hair.  We were still sitting like that when someone knocked on the door.  We untangled ourselves as Brody called for whoever it was to come in.  It was Kevin.

"She's gone," he said, looking slightly uneasy.  "I don't think she's planning on coming back.  She had a few choice words for me, then she said she hopes you all burn in hell and took off.  So..."

I couldn't help it, I started laughing.  How dramatic of her.  (Says the girl who required two grown men to stop her from pulverizing someone just minutes ago...)  Kevin and Brody just stared at me in surprise, which made me laugh harder.

"You good?" Kevin asked Brody.

"We're good, thanks," Brody replied.  Kevin backed quickly out of the room and shut the door, and I was now laying on the floor, gasping between laughter.  "What the hell am I supposed to do with you?" Brody asked me, looking down at me.  He was smiling, and chuckled as I rolled onto my side, trying to stop my laughter, wiping furiously at the tears rolling down my cheeks.  "You go from seriously pissed to laughing hysterically in 15 minutes.  I don't get you."

I sat up, sucking in a deep breath.  I made the mistake of making eye contact with Brody, and then I was cracking up again.  This time, he started laughing too.  When we finally calmed down, he stood, pulled me to my feet, and asked if I was hungry.

I shook my head, and he gasped in mock surprise.  "I think I promised you something that we didn't get to last night," I said, smiling deviously.  The adrenaline wasn't quite gone and I needed an outlet.  I backed him up until the bed hit the backs of his legs.

"I really don't understand you today," he said, shaking his head.  I arched one eyebrow at him.  "But I'm not complaining," he continued hurriedly.  I pushed him backwards and he sat down on the bed, then laid back as I straddled him.

"I guess we'd better make this quick," I muttered, leaning down to kiss him.

30 minutes later we emerged to find everyone up and in the kitchen.  Kevin eyed me skeptically as we walked in, as if he wasn't sure if I was sane or not.  I smiled back, fighting the urge to start laughing just to freak him out. Lauren stood from her spot at the kitchen table when we walked into the kitchen.  "Are you okay?" she asked me immediately.  Kinsley turned from the stove, where she seemed to be making some breakfast.

I blushed, finally feeling ashamed of myeslf.  "I'm fine, I just let my anger get the best of me for a second."  Brody snorted.  "Okay, more than a second," I amended.  Lauren didn't even look close to convinced.  The look on her face almost got me laughing again, and I had to bite my lip to keep it in.

Kinsley turned and said, "Most everyone has eaten, but I thought you guys might want something when you joined us."  I surveyed the stove and saw eggs, hash browns, sausage, and bacon.

"You're the best, Kins," I said, grabbing a plate.  I wished they would all stop staring at me like I was crazy. Brody and I both got food and sat down to eat.

"You're overdoing your cheer," Lauren observed.  I glared at her.  "That's better!"

"Can we talk about something else?" I asked.  Lauren relented and let me change the subject, and she sat and chatted with us while we ate.

But as the day went on, I couldn't stop wondering about how Savannah knew all the things she knew.  It started to really drag my mood down, and by late morning I decided I needed to get away from everyone for a little while.  I faked a yawn and announced that I was going to take a nap.  Once I got to our bedroom, I climbed under the blankets and laid there, racking my brain to try to figure out what was going on.  First Cassie, now Savannah.  I yawned for real, and thought I'd maybe close my eyes just for a couple minutes.

I was half asleep when I heard the door open.  A few seconds later, Brody climbed into bed next to me and slid up behind me, wrapping his arm around my waist.  I rolled over to face him and wrapped my arms around him as I pressed my face into his chest.

"What's on your mind?" he asked me, one hand lazily traveling up and down the length of my spine.

"Nothing," I replied, my voice muffled.  "Just sleepy."

"Liar," he declared.  "You only do this when you're upset."

"Do what?" I asked, confused.

"Lay like this."

I pulled back slightly so I could look at him.  "Really?" I asked.  He nodded.  "Huh. You're observant."

"So what's bothering you?" he pressed gently. 

"I'm just trying to figure out how Savannah knows so much.  She hasn't been around, and she definitely wasn't around when everything happened with James, and Jordan."  I shuddered as I said his name, and Brody's arms tightened around me immediately.  "It's really bugging me that she seems to know so much.  She's always known more than she should."  I thought back to how she had "seen" me leaving the restaurant with John, way back when Brody and I first started dating, even though she was at happy hour that night.

"It's really weird," Brody agreed, one hand slipping beneath the hem of my shirt and absently massaging my lower back.  "It's been on my mind too."

"Maybe Lauren mentioned something to Kendra, and she told her?  I don't know if Kendra is even still talking to Savannah," I considered out loud.

"You could ask her.  Lauren, I mean," Brody suggested.

I nodded, my face still against Brody's chest.  "I will...but maybe when we get back.  I don't want to ruin the rest of today by obsessing over this the whole time.  Between Savannah and Cassie I'm really tired of worrying about what other people are doing." 

"Are you actually tired?" he asked.  I nodded again.  "Sleep for a little while," he suggested.  "Everyone is just kind of hanging out on the deck for now.  I thought we could take a short hike after lunch and then head back."  Brody rolled onto his back, pulling me with him.  I shifted so I was laying against him with my head on his chest.  I sighed and relaxed against him as his hand went to the side of my face and fingers trailed around my ear and down my jaw.

I must have dozed off because when I woke up, the light in the room had changed.  Brody's hand was still and resting on the crook of my neck.  I shifted slightly and Brody stirred.  "Sorry," I said softly.  "I have to move."  My neck was stiff from being in the same awkward position for however long I'd been napping.  I lifted Brody's arm that was around me and rolled under it onto my back.  "What time is it?" I asked.  I was groggy and felt disoriented.

Brody groaned.  A few seconds later he said, "12:15."

I laughed.  I felt like I had been sleeping all day, not just an hour.  When we finally dragged ourselves out of bed, we discovered that someone had already made lunch.  "That's two meals you've slept through the preparation of," Lauren grumbled.

"I'll clean up," I promised.  And I did, after we ate.  I shooed away everyone that tried to help.  After I was finished, Brody, Alex, Kinsley, Damien, and I went for a short hike.  Lauren, Kendra, and Christian stayed behind.  We only hiked for about an hour and a half, since we needed to head back soon, but it was nice to get out.

When we got back, we all got our stuff together, straightened everything up, and filtered out of the cabin towards our vehicles in the drive.  I was tossing my bag into the back seat when Brody walked up.  "Do you want to drive, or do you want me to?" he asked.

I gave him a weird look.  "Well, won't we both be driving?"

"Alex is driving mine.  I want to ride with you.  Are you good driving, or do you want me to?"

"What if I don't want you to ride with me?" I teased, but I was already tossing my keys to him, relieved to not have to drive back.

"Not a very fun or relaxing weekend for you," Brody observed as we drove away from the cabin.  "I'm sorry."

I shrugged.  "At least we have our trip coming up."

He grinned and glanced at me.  "One week.  Well, one week and some hours.  I'm excited."

"Me too," I agreed. "After the last few weeks, I think it's well deserved."

We rode in silence for several minutes.  Eventually Brody said, "I'm almost regretting not letting you hit Savannah today."

His statement was so random that I laughed.  "She deserved it," I said.

"She did.  You would have hurt your hand though.  You need some work on your form."  He smirked at me, taking his eyes off the road for a brief second before turning his attention back fully to driving.

"Maybe you can teach me, since you solve all your problems by beating the shit out of your poor punching bag," I retorted.

"I could if you wanted," he replied seriously.  "Then next time you have a shot at Savannah, I promise I'll let you hit her."


Monday and Tuesday passed uneventfully, and I was more and more relieved with every day that brought us closer to our trip.  I was seriously looking forward to having a week on the beach with Brody.  In order to have in everything ready for him to be gone for a week, he was working crazy long hours this week, and on Wednesday, I stopped by his office after work with dinner for him.  I had stayed late at work as well, and it was nearly 8 by the time I texted him to let him know I was on my way up.

"Are you going to stay and eat with me?" he asked after he greeted me at the door to their office suite.

"I can if you have time," I replied.  "But if it means you won't be home until midnight, I'd rather just let you get your stuff done."

He grinned, then kissed my cheek.  "I'll be home by 10 either way, I think," he replied.  "I'm pretty tired tonight."  I decided to stay and we settled in his office with our dinner.

As we talked about our days, my phone rang.  I grabbed it and looked at the display.  It was James.  I pushed "decline" and tossed it aside.  I had barely picked my food back up when it rang again.  I sighed and hit the volume button to silence it.  Then it rang one more time.  "Maybe you should just answer it," Brody suggested.

I rolled my eyes as I answered.  I barely got my "hello?" out when James interrupted and said, "Liv, you and Cassie need to talk."

"Why?" I replied irritably.

"You just do.  She has some things she needs to tell you.  I need you to trust me--you're going to want to hear it.  Please just talk to her.  She's at my house, will you come over?  Or we can come to you.  Whatever you're  comfortable with."

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I swear I didn't plan all these cliffhangers.  But the next post is going to be from Cassie's perspective, so it makes sense to cut off here!  I will very likely post the next one before Sunday, but it's not written yet, so I'm not entirely sure when.  I'll post it when it's finished though, because I don't want to torture anyone too long. 

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Cabin Fever Part 1

Oh hey, guess what?  When I was writing this post, it got waaaaay too long.  So I decided that two slightly-shorter-than-usual posts were better than one novel-length post.  Just to space things out a bit better, I'll post the second part on Thursday evening.
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On Friday evening, Brody, Lauren, Alex, Kinsley, Kendra, Christian, Damien, and Kevin headed out to Brody's cabin.  I felt a small stab of jealousy and wished I didn't have to work the next day.  I planned to leave right from work and would be there by late afternoon.

Since I had swapped my weekends, it wasn't my normal weekend to work, which meant it was Josh's.  I wasn't looking forward to seeing him.  This week had been really busy for both of us and I had managed to avoid him so far, but I imagined that would be harder to do on a Saturday.

As I guessed, I had only been at work for about 2 minutes when Josh cornered me in the break room.  "You're pissed at me," he stated.

"I am," I agreed.  "You were rude and over the line on Saturday."

"I don't really agree," he argued.

I gave him a weird look.  "Really?  You don't think it's rude to comment on someone's income and their bill paying arrangement?"

He shrugged and then said, "I mean, he's a good looking dude but his paycheck is the real draw, let's be honest."

I blinked in surprise.  "I'd prefer if you stopped making any comments about my relationship," I said finally, when I had gathered myself enough to say the words without spitting them out.  "It's not any of your business."

"Whatever," he replied, smirking.  He cocked an eyebrow and then said, "See ya later, then."  Then he stalked away.  At least he stayed out of my way for the rest of the day.

I brought my stuff with me to work with me so I didn't even have to stop at the house after.  By 2:30 I was on my way.  Brody had written down rather complicated directions and I was a little nervous about not being able to use my GPS.  I wish I had a better sense of direction.

I only took one wrong turn though, and made it to the cabin by 4.  A chilly breeze raised goosebumps on my arms as I stepped out of my car and headed towards the house.  I greeted Lauren and Kinsley as I came in through the kitchen, then headed straight to the master bedroom to change.

I was digging a sweatshirt out of my bag when Brody knocked lightly on the door and came in.  He stepped up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.  His lips found my neck and I sighed, melting back into him.  When his hand slid under my shirt, I leaned forward a little.

"You have to wait," I admonished him.  "I just got here, and people will wonder where we are."

"So?" he asked, pulling me back towards him firmly.  "I don't care."

"I do," I replied.  He groaned and nipped at my neck.  I wriggled out of his grasp, turned to face him, and dropped to my knees in front of him.

"What are you doing?" he asked, as I pulled at his belt.

I gave him a look that clearly said, "what do you think I'm doing?"   Then, as I unbuttoned and unzipped his pants I said, "Something to get you through until a more appropriate time to actually have sex."

He groaned and steadied himself with a hand on the windowsill as I took him into my mouth.  I made fast work of him, conscious of the half open door and the footsteps around the house.  As he pulled me to my feet after, I asked, "Will that hold you until later tonight?"

He chuckled and kissed me, then said, "Actually, now I just want you even more."  He tried to pin me against the wall but I slid out of his grasp and walked towards the door.

I looked over my shoulder and said, "Then just imagine how much you're going to want me a few hours from now."  I smirked as he made a face, but he fixed his pants and followed me out.

I poured myself a glass of wine from the open bottle on the counter and wandered out to the deck, where Lauren, Kendra, and Kinsley were sitting.  "Where are the other guys?" I asked curiously.

Kinsley rolled her eyes.  "Climbing trees.  Seriously."  She pointed into the stand of trees closest to the house and when I squinted I could see a flash of someone's red shirt about 10 feet off the ground.

"Whatever makes them happy, I guess," I replied with a shrug.  Brody came out, informed me he was going back to join the rest of the guys, and jogged off towards the trees.  That was fine with me, this was the first time I had seen Kinsley since the end of tax season.  At the beginning of the month we had made plans to go out and celebrate on April 15th, but she was so exhausted at that point she had begged off.

The guys wandered back over after about an hour, laughing.  Kevin had a scrape down the side of his face, and one of Alex's hands was bleeding.  Lauren regarded them with disdain.  "It's a lot safer up here," she muttered to me.  I laughed and agreed.  Brody, Christian, and Damien looked relatively unscathed.   Alex and Brody went inside to shower while Kevin started the grill.

After we ate, Brody and Kevin built a fire in the fire pit.  I was finally starting to relax, and was relieved that no one had brought up Cassie.  We were sitting by the fire with drinks when I heard a car approaching.  I turned to Brody.  "Are we expecting someone else?" I asked, a little nervous.

"No, we're not," he said, standing as a car screeched to a very quick stop behind mine.  Brody stood and started to walk towards it as the driver's door flew open.  We all gawked as Savannah stumbled out.

"What the fuck is she doing here?" I hissed at Lauren.  Lauren shrugged, looking just as confused and shocked as I felt.

"I knew you'd be here!" Savannah shrieked.  "I looked all over the fucking city for you, and then I knew you'd be here!"  Kendra stood and walked over towards Savannah and Brody.  Savannah turned her face towards Brody.  "Is your stupid whore girlfriend here too?"  I stiffened and Lauren put a hand on my arm.

"Are you drunk?" Brody asked her calmly.

"Not a lot drunk," she slurred.  "Just a little drunk."  Lauren and I exchanged looks.  I was actually impressed (but not in a good way) that she had been able to find the place at all, much less drunk.  Thinking of some of the roads I drove on to get here, I was horrified at the idea of her driving them drunk.

Brody and Kendra talked softly to her, while she answered them loudly.  Brody motioned Alex over and they talked together for a second before Brody said, "Okay, Savannah, let's get you set up with a room.  I have one for you."

"You knew I was coming?" she asked, stumbling over her words.

"Of course," Brody said soothingly.  He was talking to her like you might talk to an injured animal or small child, and it seemed to be working.  "Come on, let's go."  He and Alex led her inside, helping her up the stairs and through the door.

"He's letting her stay?" Lauren said to me in surprise.

"Not much of a choice," I pointed out.  "She's obviously drunk, and we've all been drinking too."  I was furious that she was here, but I think that letting her spend the night was the best choice.

When Brody came out a few minutes later, he walked over to me immediately.  He pulled me a little away from everyone else and said softly, "I'm sorry, I don't know what else to do with her."

"No, it's okay," I assured him.  "I don't think there are any other options."  He looked angry and a little anxious.

"I'll get her out of here first thing in the morning," he continued. I nodded and we walked back over to the fire, where everyone seemed a little uneasy.  I started to move towards my chair next to Brody's, but he stopped me and pulled me into his lap.  I wondered how drunk he was--if he was even still drunk after Savannah's surprise buzz-killing entrance--but he murmured, "You look cold."  I was cold, and frankly I was glad for his arms around me.  I was nervous about Savannah's appearance and irritated at myself for letting her ruin the fun I had been having.

Not surprisingly, no one was really into the fire anymore, and we let it die.  People trickled back into the house one or two at a time until it was just me and Brody left, watching the last embers of the fire fade.  I shivered, really cold now that the fire was nearly out.  "Should we kill it and go to bed?" Brody asked.  I nodded and stood, uncurling myself from his lap.  Brody took care of the fire and we headed inside.

I paused outside the door to the room Savannah was in, but heard nothing but silence from inside.  Brody's hand on my back got me walking towards our room again.  I motioned him into the bathroom first, and I locked the door to our room.  No surprises in the middle of the night, thank you.  When he came out, I went in and took my time washing my face and brushing my teeth.  I didn't know why Savannah's sudden appearance had me so shaken.  I guess it had been so long since I'd seen her or heard from or about her that I had just let myself forget about her.

When I emerged, Brody was sitting on the end of the bed, shirtless.  I could tell from his eyes that his desire for me hadn't been extinguished by Savannah's surprise visit.  I walked over to him, resolving to try to forget about Savannah.  He kissed me but pulled away quickly.  "Baby, what's wrong?" he asked softly, tracing my jaw lightly with his fingertips.  He hardly ever called me "baby", or any other pet names besides "beautiful" and "gorgeous," and that was my preference.  But the way he said it just now, with so much concern, almost got me in the mood again.  Almost.

"Sorry," I said.  "I'm just completely weirded out by her coming here.  And it freaks me out that she drove up here that drunk."

"Don't apologize," he responded firmly.  He stood up and pulled back the blankets and climbed into bed.  "Come here."  I slid into bed next to him and he pulled me against him and curled around me, wrapping his arm around my waist.  I let myself relax and drift to sleep.

Sunday, April 26, 2015

She Has a Point

Between Saturday night and Sunday, I got almost everything unpacked.  Brody texted me Sunday morning with his flight time; he was arriving at DIA around 6pm.  When I was done unpacking, I did a little cleaning then showered.  I had roasted a chicken while I was unpacking and cleaning and I made a salad and mashed potatoes and threw everything into the fridge for later.  The busier I stayed, the easier it was to ignore Lauren's phone calls.

I was absolutely furious at her.  I was hurt that she would insinuate things and try to get me to question what was happening.  I knew that she was trying to protect me, but I could think of better ways for her to accomplish that than how it went down the night before.

Finally, it was time to go pick Brody up, and I was relieved that soon I wouldn't have to be alone with my thoughts anymore.  I greeted him cheerfully when he got in my car, trying to force the last little bit of lingering negative thoughts out of my head.

Once we were on the road, Brody said, "You could have brought my car, you know.  No need to put all the extra miles on yours now."

I shrugged.  "It feels weird driving your car without you.  I'll keep it mind for next time though."

Nearly 45 minutes later I finally pulled my car into the garage.  "Wow," Brody said as we walked in.  "It's so clean.  Are you all unpacked already?"

"Mostly," I replied.  "I have a few more boxes downstairs that I have no idea what I'm going to do with.  So they can stay down there for awhile."

"You were busy this weekend," he commented over his shoulder as he headed upstairs with his suitcase.

I grinned.  "I made dinner too."

He turned and smiled back.  "I'm going to shower, and then can we eat?"

"Sounds good," I replied.  "I'll get it ready."

When he came back down I was just finishing getting out plates and silverware for us.  He wrapped his arms around me from behind and kissed my cheek.  "I know you don't want to be a stay-at-home-wife, and I don't want you to be, but I could get awfully used to this if you're not careful," he joked.

I laughed and shrugged away from him.  "Watch it," I warned, smirking at him.  "You might push me too far in the opposite direction.

He grinned and caught my arm, pulling me back to him.  With his other hand he tilted my chin up and kissed me.  After he broke our kiss, he rested his forehead against mine for a few seconds before kissing the tip of my nose, then my forehead.  "Your dinner is getting cold," I teased him.

"I guess we'd better eat it then, huh?" he replied, stepping away and sitting down at the table.

"How was Dallas?" I asked, once we both had food and had started eating.

Brody shrugged.  "Fine.  I spend more time there managing my client's attorney than dealing with anything my client's done.  That's a little irritating.  But I got it all taken care of, and Pete gets the pleasure of on-call duties starting tomorrow."

"That's good," I said.

"Oh!" he said suddenly.  I gave him a questioning look.  "I was talking to Alex earlier, and his birthday is next weekend.  I asked if he wanted to go out or anything and he said no, what he really wanted to do was get away for a couple days.  I offered up the cabin, and we figured we could all go.  I know you work, though.  If you still wanted to come up on Saturday, I could come get you if you didn't want to drive out."  I frowned, realizing that Lauren would likely be there.  Brody misinterpreted my frown and said, "I know, I'm sorry.  It sucks that you work.  And I probably should have talked to you first, since I was gone this weekend."

"No," I said quickly.  "That's not it, it's fine."

Brody gave me a weird look.  "What's wrong, then?"

I sighed and told him about my argument with Lauren the night before.  He considered my story thoughtfully before saying, "She does have a point."

"You agree with her?" I demanded indignantly.

"No," he said pointedly.  "I said she has a point, not that I agreed with it."  I gave him a confused look.  The difference seemed like semantics to me.  "The whole thing was strange before Cassie moved back to her parents' house in the middle of the night.  Now it's bizarre.  I also agree that her accusations had to have come from somewhere."

"I don't disagree," I said impatiently.  "But I'm just so tired of giving energy to it.  Everyone else wants to talk about it and I just want it to go away.  Whatever is going on with Cassie is Cassie's deal and if she wants to explain it all someday, I'll listen.  But until then, I'm tired of her half-assed apologies and explanations and I just want to forget about it!"

Brody raised his eyebrows.  "Okay," he said soothingly.  "That's fine.  We don't need to talk about it.  I didn't mean to hit such a nerve."

"Sorry," I muttered.  "It just seems like everyone wants to talk about this all the time and it's starting to wear me out."

"Don't apologize," Brody said.  "Let me know later this week about what you want to do about this weekend."  I nodded.  "And since I was gone this weekend and will be gone next weekend too, pick a day this week and I'll come home early.  I'll do whatever you want.  Put me to work unpacking, I'll make dinner, I'll watch another stupid Disney movie with you.  Whatever you want."

"Hmmmm," I said deviously.  "I'll have to think very carefully about what I want.  I think Wednesday is the day I'm done the earliest this week, so how about then?"

"I'll make it happen," he promised.  He stood and took both of our plates to the sink, rinsed them, and put them in the dishwasher.  Then he came over and held out a hand to me.  "Come upstairs with me?" he asked.  I was happy to fulfill that request.


On Monday, I got a text from Lauren that said, "Please have dinner with me.  We need to talk."  I considered this for nearly an hour before deciding that I would go.  I was mad, but I hated it.  I texted her back saying I would and naming a time and place.  She agreed.

When I got the restaurant we'd agreed on, she was already there.  She smiled weakly as I sat, and I returned it with about as much enthusiasm.  A waiter promptly appeared to take my drink order, and when he was gone, I looked expectantly at Lauren.  She'd invited me, she could talk first.

"Liv," she started nervously.  "I know that you're pissed, but I have to be honest...I'm not entirely sure why you're as angry as you are.  Can you explain?"

I sighed, and bit back a smart remark.  That wasn't going to help the situation.  "Lauren, I don't think you have any idea how much this whole thing has been weighing on me, and on Brody, and on our relationship lately.  He's doing what he needs to do at work to clear his name, and I hate that no one will just let it go.  And I'm as angry as I am because I can't believe that you, of all people, would imply that I should be suspicious of him."

Now Lauren looked confused.  "What?  I didn't!" she protested.

I raised my eyebrows and said, "So when you said, 'it's hard to imagine Brody doing anything unscrupulous' and then said I was being naive for not being more concerned, that wasn't implying that I should be suspicious of him?"

"Oh, shit," she said, her eyes wide.  "No, Liv.  I didn't mean it like that!  I was agreeing with you--I can't imagine him doing anything like that.  All I meant was that something weird is going on--"

"Yes, we know that," I said impatiently, but I felt guilty for getting so angry over what was looking to be a misunderstanding.

Lauren continued smoothly, "and I don't understand why you're not more concerned about what is happening with Cassie, since everything went off the rails so suddenly.  That's all.  I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean to imply anything about Brody.  I mean, if I'm being honest, I kind of wondered at one point, but I realized that the FBI probably would have been able to pick up on anything shady while they were investigating his dad."

I considered what she said.  "So I flipped out for no reason?" I said finally, looking away.

"Well, I wouldn't say no reason, because I can see being annoyed that it keeps getting brought up.  And I didn't exactly choose my words well.  And I am sorry for both of those things," Lauren said generously.

"I do think it's all really weird," I admitted.  "But I don't feel like launching a full scale investigation, you know? Maybe I should be more concerned, but it just doesn't feel like a good use of my energy right now."

"That's fair," Lauren replied.  "I won't bring it up again.  Let's talk about this weekend instead, are you coming to the cabin?"

"I was thinking about it.  I won't be able to come until Saturday, but a night away would be fun.  It's not like it's that far."  I left out the part that I had been leaning towards not coming because I didn't want to deal with Lauren.

The rest of our dinner was pleasant, and I was relieved to have things back to normal with Lauren.  I had missed my best friend, even with just two days of being angry at her.


Brody had asked what I wanted from him on Wednesday, and I told him I really just wanted to spend some time with him--preferably uninterrupted by phones if possible.  He had agreed easily, and I was looking forward to it.  I ducked out of work as soon as my last client was out the door and headed home.

I was surprised to find Brody already home when I got there.  I was even more surprised when I walked in to find the kitchen a semi-disaster of food prep.  Brody walked in from the deck and grinned.  "It's about time you got home, I've been here for hours!"

"Hours?" I echoed, as I walked over to kiss him hello.

He kissed me softly and then said, "No, more like an hour.  Maybe a little more.  I'm making dinner."
"I see that," I said with a grin.  "And I love it.  What are you making?"

"New York strips, twice baked potatoes, and grilled veggies.  Well, actually the potatoes are once-baked and once-grilled, and I cheated and bought them already baked, but they look delicious."

I laughed.  "That sounds awesome," I said.  "I'm going to go change."

When I returned to the kitchen in a pair of leggings and a soft, fitted t-shirt, I found a glass of wine waiting for me.  "It's too bad I'll never make enough money for you to be a stay at home husband," I mused, taking a sip.

"That's definitely too bad, because I would that," he agreed, laughing.  "Did you see I hung your print?"

"I did, thank you!" I replied.  The single piece of decor that I owned was now hanging above our bed, like we had talked about.

"You're welcome," he said, backing me up against the counter and kissing me.  His hands slid across my hips and his fingers gripped me tightly.  I slid my hands up his arms, over his shoulders, and down onto his chest.  Then he pulled away, squeezed my hips, and said ,"Can't overcook the steaks."  I groaned as he walked over to the sliding door onto the deck, and he laughed.  Jerk.

We ate our delicious dinner outside on the deck, because it was so nice out.  When we were finished eating, we gathered our plates and silverware and glasses and took them inside.  I loaded the dishwasher, then started to pour some more wine.  Brody took the bottle out of my hand and set it to the side, then began to massage my shoulders.  I sighed happily and leaned back into his touch, closing my eyes.  Just as I was starting to relax, Brody's phone rang loudly from his pocket.

"Damn it," he muttered.  He took it out, glanced at the screen, and held up one finger to me as he answered.  He spoke for less than a minute, then hung up and turned the phone off.  "Sorry," he said sheepishly.  "Now, where were we?"

I smirked and answered, "You were about to take me upstairs and give me a real massage."

He laughed. "I think I can handle that."




Thursday, April 23, 2015

Naive

Thank you, as usual, for being understanding and patient while my life got in the way.  I've said it before, but I'm pretty sure I have the best readers on the entire internet.
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When I opened my door for the movers, I found myself face to face with Josh.  He looked just as surprised to see me as I was to see him.  "What are you doing here?" I snapped, far more irritated that I should have been.  Moving had me on edge.

He shrugged.  "I worked for this company while I was going to school, and I fill in every once in awhile now to help out and for a little extra cash.  This move was scheduled a little last minute," he gave me a pointed look as he said that, "So they called me to help.  I didn't know it was you, though."

The other guy with him looked bored and a little irritated by our exchange.  I sighed and moved out of the way, motioning for them both to come in.  I quickly showed them what was coming and what was staying, then Josh handed me some paperwork.  As I looked it over and signed he said, "This is a pretty nice place.  Why are you moving?"

I fought the urge to glare at him and instead arranged my face into what I hoped was a perfectly calm expression.  "I'm moving in with Brody."

His familiar smirk spread across his face.  "Of course you are," he said.  "Speaking of the PR puppet master, where is he?"

This time I didn't bother fighting my face's natural instincts and rolled my eyes.  "He's traveling for work.  Neil was on call, but apparently his mother is sick, so Brody took a call for him."

"Oh, yeah.  His mom isn't doing well at all.  Well, I guess it's nice that he was able to do that, even if it means he's not here while you move into his house."  His smirk was back by the time he finished speaking and I just handed him back the paperwork and gave him a "get to work" look.  His partner looked even more irritated now.  This was going to be a great time.

I got out of the way while they hauled my furniture and the rest of my boxes out.  They were surprisingly quick.  It looked so empty by the time they had everything out.  Lauren's movers were moving her furniture from her storage unit on Monday, and she was planning to stay with Alex until then.  So until then, my former house would be sadly empty.

Josh and his partner confirmed Brody's address and then set off.  I met them there and directed them where to put the furniture and boxes and the whole process was done within 2 hours.  "So," Josh said as I was writing them a check.  "I take back what I said about your old place being pretty nice.  This house is ridiculous."

"It's pretty awesome," I agreed.

"Must be nice to be able to live in a place like this rent-free."  I looked up in surprise at the hint of snideness in his tone.

I took a deep breath to give myself a chance to collect myself before I responded.  "I don't think our bill paying arrangements are any of your business, Josh."

He snorted.  "I know what you make, since it's probably pretty close to what I make.  And I can guess that Brody isn't even in the same tax bracket as you.  Or the next one up, for the matter.  Probably not even the one after that.  I know you're not paying the mortgage."

I gritted my teeth and handed him the check I had just written.  "That's a really bold and inappropriate thing to say."  I took a step towards the door, hoping he'd get the hint.  His partner was waiting for him in their truck already.  He stood without moving for several seconds.  It was long enough to send a really clear message that he didn't give a shit what I wanted him to do.  Then he smirked again and headed for the door.

"Well, it was good to see you," he said cheerfully.  I didn't respond, aside from a sigh of relief when he closed the door firmly behind him.

I grabbed my purse off the kitchen counter and fished my phone out.  I planned to call Brody, but saw I had a missed call.  When I discovered it was from James, I sat down and called him back.

"I talked to Cassie," he answered without greeting.

"Hi, James," I replied.  "That's...good?"

"I guess.  I had to do a little work, but I found her parents' information and called their landline.  She's there.  She's working.  She's planning to stay for awhile.  She wouldn't say much more outside that, besides that she's okay and she was sorry that she left so quickly."

"I'm glad she's okay," I said sincerely.  "How are you?"

"I'm fine," he replied.  "I mean, it's not like I keep getting abruptly abandoned or...oh wait."  I could hear the smirk in his voice.

"Bitches," I said, laughing.

"Something like that," he responded, chuckling.  We chatted for a few more minutes and then hung up.  I sent Brody a text letting him know that everything was all moved, then I plopped down on the couch.  I thought about doing some unpacking, then decided against it.  Instead, I called Lauren.

"Miss me already?" she asked.

"I do.  I feel so far away," I replied truthfully.  "What are you doing?  Do you want to come hang out with me?"  We decided I'd come back into town in awhile (going back and forth might get annoying, I decided) and we'd go out to dinner.  I showered and got ready, and while I was doing my hair, my phone rang.  It was Brody and I answered happily--I hadn't talked to him since I dropped him off at the airport, besides a text to tell me he'd made it safely.

"Hi," I said.  "I miss you."

"I haven't been gone for that long," he said, laughing.

"I know, but now I'm in this big house by myself."  I filled him in on the weird events of the day, starting with Josh being one of the movers.

"So that asshole knows where we live?" Brody asked.

I shrugged, even though he couldn't see me.  "I can think of worse people that could know where we live.  I'm just really irritated by his comments."

"Well I don't trust him," Brody said.  This seemed like a strange sentiment to have, but he had been a little paranoid since everything with Cassie.  I didn't respond at first, and he continued, "I just haven't heard the best things about him from Neil."

I still thought he was overreacting, but didn't want to get into it.  "Do you know when you'll be back?" I asked.

"Should be tomorrow," he replied.  "I'm excited to come home, now that you officially live there."  We chatted for a few minutes and then I hung up so I could finish getting ready to go meet Lauren.

Lauren was already at the restaurant we'd decided to meet at when I got there, and I quickly made my way over to the table and sat down.  "Hi," I greeted her.

"Hi, Kendra's coming too, I hope that's okay," she replied cheerfully.

"Yes!" I said.  "I'm glad, I feel like I haven't seen her in forever."  Kendra arrived about 10 minutes later and we ordered drinks and appetizers to share.

"Sorry I'm late," Kendra apologized.  Then she turned to me.  "How was the move?"

"Fine," I replied.  "I didn't do much but direct the movers.  That makes it pretty easy!"  I filled them in on Josh's random appearance and my phone call from James.

"So now what?" Lauren asked.

I frowned.  "What do you mean?"

"Well isn't it all a little weird?  She accuses Brody of being up to shady shit, insists that you listen to her, disappears in the middle of the night, and tries to go off the grid--forgetting, of course, that the guy she was dating pretty much finds people for a living?  Don't tell me you're not dying to know what's really going on."

"I don't know," I said with a shrug.  "I'm a little curious, but I really just want to move on and forget about it all."

Lauren gave me a look that was one part condescending and three parts exasperated.  "Something is going on," she stated, speaking slowly.  "And I think you should be curious at the very least."

I glared back at her.  Kendra was quietly sipping her drink, pretending to be invisible.  "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot about how I asked you to tell me how to run my life."

"You know--" Kendra started, but Lauren was too quick.

"Liv," she interrupted, and now the look she was giving me was sympathetic.  "I know it's hard to imagine Brody doing anything unscrupulous, but I'm concerned that you're not more worked up about how strange everything is."

I blinked in surprise.  "What, exactly, are you saying?" I snapped.

"Seriously, guys--" Kendra tried again.

"I'm saying," Lauren broke in, "that I think you're being naive."

Now I'd had enough.  "Oh, do you?" I replied flippantly.  "You know, the last few months have been hard enough, between Lynn's accident, Brody's dad showing up and then disappearing, and then his death.  Now I'm trying to just move on past something else that could have been a big deal but doesn't really have to be, and you can't just let me go and do it.  So you think I'm being naive.  Great!  I don't care.  Maybe I am being naive, but right now that's what I need.  So if you can't shut the hell up about this, I'm leaving."  I leveled a challenging look at her, waiting for her response.

She returned my gaze.  I could tell she was a little surprised by my response.  I didn't often choose to go head to head with Lauren, as she generally won those contests through sheer force of will.  "Okay," she said finally.  "I'll shut the hell up about it."  I noted that she didn't apologize.

We continued to glare at each other for several seconds until Kendra said, "So...not pregnant yet.  Still trying, though!"  We both turned and looked at her.  She smiled.  Kendra the peacekeeper.

We chatted until our food came, though Lauren and I avoided directly speaking to each other if we could help it.  When we were done eating, Kendra said, "Do you guys want to go get a drink somewhere?  Or even come over and hang out?"

"I'm sorry, I should really get back and do some unpacking," I said apologetically, avoiding Lauren's gaze.

"Unpacking is the worst," Kendra replied sympathetically.  "Give me a call if you want some help tomorrow."

"Thanks!" I said cheerfully.  I said goodbye to both of them and left before Lauren could say anything else.  I sighed as I got in the car.  Lauren had a point--clearly something was not right, at least with Cassie.  But I really just didn't want to think about it.  Everything had been so hard and stressful lately and I just wanted something to go right.  I pushed the thought out of my mind and headed for home.











Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Sorry guys.

I'm working on a post, but it needs more work than it's going to be able to get by tomorrow.  It'll be up Thursday.  I hate that I'm delaying a post after a bit of a cliffhanger.  This week has gotten away from me already.  I'm sorry!

Sunday, April 19, 2015

The Library

In the morning over breakfast, Brody and I talked about the moving schedule.  I had this weekend off, and I was going to try to switch my next two weekends so I had next weekend off, then worked two in a row.  He was going to call the moving company he had used when he moved into this house, and hopefully we could get my furniture moved next week.  Then, in three weeks, hopefully we'd be on our way south for a much needed vacation.  Everything was happening super fast, but I really did feel ready now.

I had only been at work for an hour or so when I got a text.  I looked at it and saw it was from Sarah.  We had texted occasionally, but she hadn't called again since the first time a few weeks ago.  This time, we ended up texting back and forth throughout the day.  The first few texts were a little painful, because she just didn't say much, but the end of the day we had a good conversation going and I was glad she had texted me.  It definitely felt more like a "sisterly" conversation by the end.  I made a mental note to call Nadine and maybe try to arrange a visit sometime soon.

I had managed to get my work weekends rearranged the way I wanted them, and I was relieved to have my three day weekend starting tomorrow.  The last couple weeks had worn me out and I needed some time to recharge.  Not that packing and getting ready to move leaves much room for recharging, but at least I could do it in yoga pants after sleeping as late as I wanted!

The weekend passed really uneventfully.  I hadn't heard from or seen Cassie at all since the letter she'd put in my mailbox, and James hadn't called (or stopped by at 4 in the morning) either.  Brody spent Friday night at my house and donated a large chunk of his Saturday to helping me pack and loading and unloading boxes.  We got this batch of boxes out to his house, and this time I got to help him carry everything downstairs.  On Sunday, we took advantage of the beautiful weather and went for our first hike of the spring.

I wasn't ready for work again on Monday.  I was sore from hauling boxes and hiking (that's embarrassing.  I really need to get back to the gym more regularly) and had enjoyed the weekend so much.  Mid-afternoon I got a text from Brody that said, "Come over after work?"  It was quickly followed up with a text that said, "I feel weird asking you to come over to your own house.  But I also want to make sure you know which house.  It's the one that used to be mine and is now ours."  I laughed reading it and responded that I would.  He told me he'd be there when I got there, which was surprising to me.

I stopped to pick up a bottle of wine on my way home after work, because it felt like a wine sort of night and I had no idea what Brody had at the moment.  When I pulled into the driveway, the garage door opened and I saw that Brody had made room for me to park there.  I pulled in and parked, and got out.  He was waiting just inside the garage and walked over and handed me a garage door opener.

"Hi," I greeted him, grinning.  "You made room for me."

"I did," he replied. 

I kissed him.  "Thank you.  I feel like I belong here now."

"Good!  And I have a surprise for you," he said excitedly, his eyes sparkling.

"Okay..." I replied, following him through the kitchen and towards the stairs to the lower level.  "You haven't converted the basement into some weird torture dungeon right?  I'm not into that."

He laughed.  "No, you'll be completely into this surprise, I promise."

I was definitely intrigued.  At the bottom of the stairs, instead of turning left towards the room with his punching bag, he turned right towards the two rooms we'd been sticking my boxes in for now.  He stopped in front of the door at the end of the hall.  "All yours," he said.  I cocked an eyebrow, and he motioned for me to open the door.  When I did, my jaw dropped.

He had taken the room and turned it into a mini-library.  Certainly not the Beast's library, but one wall had three bookshelves side by side, taking up the entire wall.  Next to the window was the loveseat/chaise lounge combo that I had really liked when we were looking at furniture.  In one corner was a comfortable looking papasan chair, and a small desk sat in the other corner.  He'd already unpacked all my books and put them on the shelves. 

"Do you like it?" he asked.

"Are you kidding?  You made me a library!  It's perfect!"  I threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly.

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around me tightly, hugging me back.  "I know you were worried about not having your own space, so I wanted to make sure that you did.  I won't even go in there unless you invite me.  We can paint if you want, and I guess you'll need to pick out some curtains, but I didn't want to make all the decisions and have you not feel like it's actually your space.  If you want the room next to it too, it's yours."

"When did you do this?" I asked.  I kept my arms around his neck but pulled back enough that I could look at him.

"I've been planning in my head for awhile, and I bought the furniture Thursday.  I took the afternoon off work today to get the garage cleared out, be here for them to deliver the furniture, and get the books unpacked."

I let go of him and walked into the room, flopping on my new chaise.  "This is amazing.  Thank you!"  Brody leaned against the door frame and smiled at me.  "Are you just going to stand there?" I asked.

He shrugged.  "Remember, I won't go in without an invitation."  He looked at me expectantly, but I just smiled deviously.

"That's right," I replied, sliding the hem of my skirt up higher on my legs.  "So I could sit here and torture you."

"You could," he agreed, his eyes on my legs.  "But that wouldn't be very nice."

"You're right, you should probably come in then."  He quickly joined me on my new favorite furniture, one hand tangling in my hair and tipping my head up so my lips met his, and the other sliding roughly up my leg.  It continued under my skirt until his thumb brushed across my underwear, then it stopped, his thumb resting just beyond where I wanted it.

I started to shift an arm down to slide my underwear off but he let go of my hair and grabbed my wrist, pinning it down against the chaise.  He pulled his lips from mine and moved them to my neck, stopping to suck gently before he said softly, "Two can play the torture game."

"Not fair," I protested, wiggling beneath him.  "I only tortured you for about 7 seconds and you're way better than me at it anyway."

"I know," he said, smirking at me before he pressed his lips to my collarbone.  Luckily, he didn't tease me for long, and we quickly broke in the new furniture.

"I have good news," he said as I snuggled against him after.  "The auditor is finished, everything is good, and we can book our trip."

"That is good news!" I agreed excitedly.  "Today has been pretty awesome, especially for a Monday."  My stomach growled then, and Brody laughed.  We got dressed and headed upstairs to find something for dinner.

After we ate, Brody asked, "So did you pick a place yet?"

"I did," I said with a grin.  I had chosen a resort in the Riviera Maya area of Mexico.

He handed me his laptop and credit card.  "Book it," he said.  "My only requests are a direct flight if possible and first class."

"You are spoiling the shit out of me," I observed, as I opened his laptop and started typing.  "Be careful or I'll get used to it."

"I hope you do," he replied.  "I'm tired of your death glare when I spend money on you."

"Yeah," I agreed sarcastically.  "It's a really terrible problem when your girlfriend doesn't want you for your money.  And speaking of your money, you're putting a lot of trust in me here, just handing me your credit card."

"You don't want me for my money, remember?" he joked.   


Once our trip was booked and official, time seemed to drag.  I spent a lot of time at home the rest of that week, getting things ready to move.  Lauren helped (mostly by keeping me company and pouring wine) and by Friday at noon, I had everything ready to go.  I loaded a few boxes of my essentials and a bunch of clothes into my car and drove out to Brody's house.  The movers were coming tomorrow morning but I didn't want to spend the night in the chaos of boxes that was my room.

I took a shower once I got to Brody's house, and had a text from him waiting for me when I got out.  After I dried off I read it.  "You still at your old place?"  I texted back that I was back at our house.  It felt weird calling it "our house" even though with all the time I'd spent here lately, it was starting to feel a lot more like a place I was living.  I didn't get a response from him, which I found odd, but I assumed he had just gotten busy with something at work.

I was surprised when I heard the garage door opening.  "Hi," I said, confused, when he walked in.  "What are you doing home?"

He frowned and sat in the chair adjacent to the couch where I was sitting.  "You're going to be upset, and I'm sorry," he started.  I narrowed my eyes.  That's not exactly setting a conversation up for success.  "Neil was supposed to be on call this week and weekend, but he called this morning--his mom is in the hospital, and he's going out to Phoenix to be with her.  I was going to let you know when I got home tonight.  It's been pretty quiet lately.  I guess I should have let you know this morning, not that it would change anything, because I got a call."

I nodded slowly, knowing exactly where the conversation was going.  "What time is your flight, and where are you going?" I asked.

"6:15, and Dallas," he replied.  "I'm sorry, Liv.  I hate that I won't be here for you actually moving in.  If you want to reschedule it to a day I'll be here..."

"No, that doesn't make sense," I said, shaking my head.  "Tomorrow is fine, it'll be fine."

He nodded.  "How mad are you?"

I shrugged.  "I'm bummed because I'll be spending my first night officially living here by myself, and it's frustrating because your person in Dallas has seriously the worst timing ever, but I guess I'm not really mad at you."  

"You guess you're not really mad at me?" he said, fighting a smile.  "That's not super convincing."


"Shut up," I said.  "I'm trying really hard to not be pissed about it, okay?  Don't press your luck."  Even though things had been so much better since Brody had gotten the on-call schedule going, I couldn't help but be frustrated about the timing of this call.  And I really wasn't mad at Brody, but it's okay to be mad at the situation, right?  Either way, I knew one thing:  I did not want to fight with him before he had to leave.  I learned my lesson on that one.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly.  "I shouldn't tease you, especially when you're trying so hard to not be mad about this."

I nodded, then forced the next words out of my mouth, "Do you want a ride to the airport?"

"I need to shower and pack, we can figure it out when I'm done, okay?"  I nodded, glad for the time to manage my frustration.  As he disappeared upstairs, I grabbed my Kindle out of my purse and headed downstairs.  I opened the door to my library and closed it behind me, then curled up in the papasan chair and turned on my Kindle.  After reading for about 20 minutes, I felt much better.  Logically, I understood why he had to go.  I was glad he was going so that Neil could be with his family. The timing just sucked, but there was nothing Brody could do about that. 

I read for another 15 minutes or so before I headed upstairs.  When I got there, I found Brody on the couch with his laptop.  He had showered and changed into dark jeans and a striped button down.  When I sat down next to him, he set his laptop to the side, and I leaned against him as he wrapped an arm around me.  "So, can I take you to the airport?" I asked again.

"If you want to, I'd love that," he replied.  "Thank you for being understanding.  I know it sucks and I wish I didn't have to go.  I'm going to try to get home on Sunday." 

I motioned to his laptop.  "Do you need to do some work before you go?"

"I'll do it on the plane," he said.  "Do you want to go for a walk?  It's so nice out."  I agreed and we spent the next 45 minutes wandering aimlessly around his neighborhood, enjoying the spring sunshine.  We decided that Brody would drive to the airport, and I'd ride along and then take his SUV back to my house, where I could use it to move some more of my stuff that the movers wouldn't be taking in the morning.  I was so ready to have everything moved and to get settled in Brody's (our) house. 

When I got home, I loaded everything I wanted to move with Brody's SUV so I didn't have to do it in the morning.  I was glad that I had decided to hire movers, because I was tired and sore just from moving a bunch of boxes over the last week.  I'd never cut it moving furniture.  I fell into bed early so I could get up early and be ready for the movers to get here.

In the morning, I made the last few preparations for the movers and then waited.  They were late and I was irritated by that, even though I told myself it didn't make a difference as long as they came.  My only plans for the day were moving and unpacking.  When the movers finally arrived, I was not at all pleased to discover who one of them was.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Surprise Visitor

I sat up again and grabbed my phone.  No missed calls, no texts.  It was about 4:30 am.

While I was trying to decide if I should answer the door or not, whoever was out there knocked again--hard.  I don't know why I was so nervous.  People that want to hurt you rarely knock on your front door first.  Right?

I finally decided to just go look at least.  I walked quietly downstairs in the dark and peeled back the edge of the curtain on the window near the door.  I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw James standing in the light of my front porch.

I pulled the door open.  "What the fuck is wrong with you?" I exclaimed.  "It's 4:30 in the morning, and you scared the everloving shit out of me."

"I'm sorry," he apologized.  "Can I come in?"

I regarded him warily.  I had no idea why he was here.  Apparently the events of the last week and a half had made me awfully suspicious of people.  "Sure," I said finally, opening the door the rest of the way and moving so he could get past me.  I shivered in the chilly pre-dawn air.  Once James was in, I shut the door and locked it, then flipped on the living room light.  "What are you doing here?"

"I got a weird text from Cassie, and it made nervous.  I came over to try to talk to her, but she's not answering the door.  Have you seen her lately?"  I shook my head and told him about the letter.  He pulled his phone out and showed me the text.  She had sent it at 3:13am, and it said, "I'm going home.  Don't call me."

"Home?" I asked, confused.

"Her parents live in Golden and she was talking about maybe moving back there for awhile and trying to find a job there.  But I wasn't expecting her to do it at 3 in the morning.  Her phone was off when I tried to call her back, and she's not answering her door."

I blinked at him.  It was weird.  But I didn't understand why it required James to scare the shit out of me at 4:30 in the morning.  "Okay, and?"

He sighed and rubbed his forehead.  "I don't know, Liv.  This whole thing has been really weird, and I don't know what's going on.  I'm worried about her."

"It is really strange," I agreed. 

"It's strange enough that I'm almost ready to break my own cardinal rule."  I raised an eyebrow, having no idea what he was talking about.  "I don't ever look into the people I'm seeing," he explained.  "It would make a weird power differential, and I'm sure I'd usually find something I didn't want to know."

"Oh," I replied unhelpfully.  Then I said, "Is it possible she just made a mistake, or got some weird information, and she's overwhelmed with quitting her job and needs some space for a bit?"  But even as I said it, I knew there had to be more to it than that. 

James shrugged.  I yawned then, and he said, "Shit, Liv, I'm sorry.  I'll get out of here so you can get some more sleep."

"Okay," I agreed, though I knew that sleep was unlikely at this point.  I stood and walked with him towards the door.  After he left, I locked the door and slid the chain into place.  I trudged back up the stairs and reset the alarm on my phone to the latest possible time that I could get up and still make it to work on time looking presentable.  Then I tossed and turned for two hours.  I finally dragged myself out of bed when my alarm went off, showered quickly without washing my hair, put on a bare minimum of makeup, and left.

My phone rang around lunchtime, and I looked at it and saw it was Brody.  "Hey," I answered.

"Hi gorgeous," he replied.  "How are you?"

"Tired," I grumbled.  I filled him in on the events of last night.

"Well, I was going to ask you if I could spend the night, but maybe we should stay at my house tonight," he said, when I had finished.  I agreed.  "I was also going to ask you if you wanted to check out a couple furniture stores tonight, just to get some ideas, but if you're not up for it, we can always go this weekend."

"No, I'd like to actually," I said.  I just wanted to do something normal and forget about what was happening with Cassie.  "I have some boxes packed up too, maybe I can bring them out and get them out of the way."

"Sounds like a good plan," Brody responded.  We planned that he'd meet me at home at 6, we'd put my boxes into his SUV, then we'd look at furniture for a little while, grab dinner, and head back to his house.  Our house?

I made it through the rest of the day by sheer force of will and was relieved to leave at 5:30.  I ran home, changed out of my work clothes into jeans and a sweater, and brought some of my boxes downstairs.  I jumped when Brody knocked on the front door, then unlocked it and pulled it open.

Brody frowned at me.  "You look exhausted," he said.

I made a face.  "Thanks," I replied sarcastically.

"Sorry," he replied, hugging me.  "Are you sure you want to do this tonight?  Why don't we just go this weekend?  We can load these boxes up, grab something to eat, and just head home."  I noticed he said "home" and not "my house" and that made me smile, despite my fatigue.

"No, I want to.  Maybe just one or two stores, but I want to do something besides just sit around."

"Okay," he agreed reluctantly.  "Then let's get these boxes in my car."  We carried them out and loaded them into the back of his SUV, then grabbed the last couple that were upstairs.  There were 8 boxes total already, some of them filled with heavy books.  "Next time, please don't fill boxes completely with books," he groaned, lifting the last box into the back and pushing the button that shut the back tailgate. 

"Sorry," I said sheepishly.  "I normally don't, because they get damn heavy, but I had just put them all in those boxes to get them out of Lauren's room."

"You're lucky you're pretty," he teased.  I glanced at Cassie's townhouse, next to mine.  It was quiet and I couldn't see any lights on.  "You okay?" Brody asked, slipping an arm around me and following my gaze.

"Yeah," I said, shaking my head a little to clear it.  "Sorry.  Let me just grab my bag and we can go."

Brody got into the driver's seat while I grabbed my purse and overnight bag and locked my door.  When I got in the car, I asked how things were going with the auditor.  "Pretty well," he responded.  "He found a couple small discrepancies so far which he traced to the same person, but they were small enough that he thought they could be mistakes.  So I'll be keeping an eye on that.  But so far nothing big."

"That's good to hear," I replied.

We wandered two different furniture stores, inspecting coffee tables and sitting on couches.  I got particularly comfy on a loveseat/chaise lounge combination that wouldn't really work anywhere in Brody's house, but was amazing nonetheless.  We got some good ideas, and it was fun.  I was glad we had gone, even though I was just about ready for bed.  We decided to go somewhere quick to eat and stopped at a diner for breakfast for dinner.  

We were on our way back towards Brody's house by a little after 8 and when he pulled into the garage at 8:30, I groaned at the thought of bringing the boxes inside.

"How about this," he suggested.  "We can leave them in the garage for tonight.  I'll get them out of my car and you can go inside and relax.  Maybe you should give that giant bathtub I never use a little attention."

Brody had an amazing whirlpool tub that he claims to have only used a couple times, which is tragic.  "That's an amazing idea," I said. 

"Alright, then go!" he directed me.

After a quick look around his bathroom, I realized that one of my first purchases for this house needed to be some bath bombs or bath salts or something to make the bath a little more interesting.  Oh well, the hot water and jets would be good enough for tonight.  I filled the tub up while I combed out my hair and wound it into a topknot so it stayed out of the water.

When the tub was full, I eased myself down into the hot water with a grateful sigh.  I sunk into the water up to my neck and closed my eyes.  I had been laying there for about 10 minutes when there was a gentle knock on the door.  Brody opened it a little and said, "Can I join you?"

"Yes," I replied, sitting up so I could drain some of the water so the tub didn't overflow.  Brody came in with a glass of wine in each hand. He handed one to me and climbed into the tub and settled behind me, and I leaned back against him.  The tub was the perfect size for both of us, and I made a mental note of that.  I closed my eyes again as I said, "Get all the boxes out of your car?  I can bring them in tomorrow."

"No you can't," he replied.

"Why not?" I asked confused.

"I already did.  I figured I might as well.  I took them all downstairs for now until we get everything sorted out."

"Thank you," I said gratefully.  "I feel bad that I didn't help now."

He slid his hands up my arms and to my neck, beginning to massage the tense muscles there.  "Don't," he said.  "It only took me a few minutes."

I sighed softly as he continued to knead the muscles in my neck and shoulders.  "I feel like you're trying to butter me up," I joked.

"What? Why?" he asked.

"You hauled in my boxes while I laid in this tub, you brought me wine, and now you're rubbing my neck."

He laughed. "I'm not trying to butter you up," he insisted. "I just feel bad because you had such a shitty night last night. I thought we could both use a little relaxing and a good night's sleep tonight."

We relaxed in the tub until our wine glasses were empty and the water was tepid. Once we were out and dry, we went straight to his bed, where we had the laziest sex we could possibly manage.

When we were laying in bed after, Brody asked, "how much stuff do you have left to pack and move?"

"Not much," I replied. "I packed up a lot of stuff to make room for Lauren, which was most of the stuff we brought today. I didn't bring much with me from Wisconsin and I haven't accumulated a ton of stuff. Really, all that's left is stuff I use regularly, kitchen stuff, clothes, and furniture."

"Well, just let me know when you want to schedule movers for the furniture. I'll make sure my old stuff is taken care of then."

"Maybe tomorrow we can pick a day?" I suggested. "I'm thinking one of the next Saturdays I'm off, so I have that Friday to get everything ready. I'll need to let Lauren know then too." Brody agreed with that plan.

Even though it wasn't even 10pm, I was exhausted from not sleeping much the night before.  Brody must have been tired too, because we were both out within minutes of saying goodnight.








Monday, April 13, 2015

Morning Person

Don't mind me, just another quick bonus :)  The next post will still happen on Wednesday.
____________________________________ 

I went home after work on Monday for the first time in a few days.  Lauren and I still planned to do our Monday roomie night, and I needed to tell her I was moving out.  Brody was clearly still nervous about Cassie, but he just asked if he could come late and spend the night.  I agreed to that, even though I still though his worry was unfounded.

Lauren was already home when I got there, and Cassie was nowhere to be found.  "Hi," Lauren greeted me.  "It's good to be back, huh?" We both laughed, and she handed me an envelope.  "It was in the mailbox."  It just said "Olivia" on the back, and I recognized Cassie's handwriting.  I opened it curiously and read.

"Liv, 
I know you're pissed at me, and I don't blame you.  I'd be pissed at me too if I were in your shoes.  I just wanted to let you know that I'm not going to bother you. I'll stay out of your way (and Brody's, and Lauren's too), but if you ever want to talk again, let me know.
Cassie"

I rolled my eyes and handed it to Lauren.  She read it quickly then snorted.  "Yeah, if you ever want to talk about how she accused your boyfriend of running a dirty business, she'd be delighted!"   I laughed, but I was glad to have the letter.  I hoped it would help Brody relax a little bit.

I couldn't help but be a little curious.  Even though I trusted Brody fully and didn't believe for a second that he was doing anything he shouldn't be, I wondered what kind of information Cassie had and where she had gotten it.  The whole situation was really strange and confusing, but I wasn't curious enough to pursue getting any more information.

Once we were settled on the couch with our Thai (changing it from pizza this week) and wine, Lauren asked, "So how's the house hunting going?"

"Not so well," I admitted.  "And actually, we decided to hold off, and I'm going to just move in with him."

Lauren coughed, then looked at me.  "Really?" she said, surprised.  "When?"

I shrugged.  "Yes, really, and I don't know.  I guess I'm just going to start moving stuff as I pack.  Depending on how things go with Brody's job this week, we're hoping to take a vacation near the end of the month, so it would be nice to moved before that."

Lauren looked impressed.  "You know, I didn't think you'd go through with it.  I thought you'd drag it out, not commit to a house, and just stay here for a few more months."  I glared at her.  "What?" she asked.  "Come on, Liv.  It was not that long ago that you were horrified by the idea of moving in with him."

She had a point, and I acknowledged that.  "But everything changed after his dad died, I guess.  It just made me look at it differently."

Lauren nodded, then grinned.  "It will be nice to have my own place again, then.  Though it was nice to live with you for awhile, once we adjusted, at least."

I laughed.  "Yes, definitely once we adjusted.  Once we adjusted and once you stopped destroying the kitchen!"

"Had to keep you on your toes," she shot back, also laughing.  We enjoyed the rest of our night, and Lauren promised to help me pack and move, since I had helped her.  I reminded her that she still had to move her furniture over, and she grimaced and said she was hiring movers because she wasn't dealing with Alex's attitude again, plus moving furniture.  I laughed and agreed that was a good idea.  I had been planning on the same for moving my furniture.

Brody arrived a little before 10 and greeted us.  "Can I shower?" he asked, after kissing me.

"Of course," I replied.  He headed upstairs while Lauren and I cleaned up our dishes and takeout trash.  I snuck into the bathroom and brushed my teeth while Brody was in the shower, and was already in bed by the time he came out.

He climbed into bed and I scooted over to him, curling up against him with my head on his chest.  "How was your day?" I asked, running my fingers aimlessly across the lean muscles of his chest and stomach.

"Fine," he replied.  "Pete and I spent most of the day getting things ready for the auditor to come tomorrow.  I'm looking forward to getting that out of the way.  How was yours?"

I told him about the letter from Cassie, which he seemed to find interesting.  "I guess I can probably leave you here unsupervised now," he joked.  "Did you decide where we're going yet?"

Brody had insisted on paying for our trip, but I had refused to divulge any of the information I had collected on Sunday while I researched.  I told him I'd narrow it down and let him choose, since he was paying, but he had decided that he liked the idea of a surprise destination and told me he didn't want to know.

"I have it narrowed down to a couple places.  I just need to read a few more reviews before I decide for sure," I replied.  We had talked about a general idea of what we wanted and had settled on finding an all-inclusive somewhere in Mexico or the Caribbean.  We didn't want to have to worry about anything that we didn't want to when we got there, and we wanted somewhere we wouldn't feel bad about just laying on the beach or by the pool and never leaving the resort, if that's what we decided.  Plus, Brody pointed out that leaving the country was an excuse for him to turn off his phone and leave it that way, and who could argue with that?  I had originally looked at a few places in Central America and South America, but decided to save those for a trip when we were feeling a little more adventurous. 

"Good.  After this week, we'll figure out when to go, then you can book it."  He had given me a general budget to work with, which was a whole lot more than I'd ever considered spending on a trip in my life.  I had quickly found that there were very cheap all-inclusive resorts, and really, really ridiculously expensive ones.  I was shooting for one in the middle where we could get an upgraded room without going over the budget.  I also had to find a resort that still had rooms available mere weeks in advance.

Our chatting tapered off and we shifted onto our sides and got comfortable again.  Brody kissed my shoulder lightly and said goodnight, and I drifted off to sleep.

Brody was already out of bed when my alarm went off in the morning.  I assumed he had left, and I showered and got ready quickly.  When I walked downstairs, I saw Brody in the kitchen and smelled breakfast.  "It doesn't suck to have a boyfriend that's a morning person," I said with a grin.

"Good morning to you, too," he said, kissing me and handing me a plate with eggs, sausage, and toast.

"Thank you," I said, kissing him a second time.

"Won't miss PDA bright and early in the morning," Lauren grumbled, coming down the stairs.  Brody handed her a plate and she quickly changed her tune.  "On second thought, maybe you could stay?  Liv can go, she doesn't make me breakfast."

"I'll remember that the next time I'm making dinner," I retorted.

"You ladies have a great day," Brody said.  "I need to get going."  He made his escape, leaving Lauren and I alone to our non-morning-people sleepy breakfast eating.

"I wish Alex made breakfast," Lauren griped.  She's even less of a morning person than I am.

"Doesn't he ever?" I asked.

She snorted.  "Sometimes, but never on a weekday."

"Well, at least he's usually home in time for dinner?" I suggested.

"Good point."

We finished our breakfasts and I put both plates in the dishwasher then went our separate ways to work.  I had a busy day with lots of clients, but it went quickly.  I was happy to get a text from Lauren that she was spending the night at Alex's.  Brody was planning on spending the night at home, and I was too.  As much as I loved both Lauren and Brody, I was excited for some alone time.  It had been awhile.

When I got home, I made myself dinner then decided to spend an hour or so packing up some stuff.  I'd had my books and some various other things in the second bedroom, so those were already packed, because I had shoved them in boxes to get them out of Lauren's way.  I focused on packing some other things that were not essential to my life for the next few weeks, like DVDs and decorative things.  I made a pretty good dent in it before calling it quits for the night.

Later, as I got ready for bed, I felt a little nervous about being in my house by myself.  I rolled my eyes at myself.  Clearly I'd been spending too much time around Brody.  But I hadn't spent a night by myself in awhile, and I still wasn't sure what Cassie was up to.  I pushed the thought out of my head and climbed into bed.

At first, the bed felt too big.  But then I shifted and stretched out and quickly began to enjoy the extra room.  I fell asleep a lot more easily than I thought I would.

I woke with a start, shivering and drenched in sweat, several hours later.  I sat up in bed and tried to slow my breathing.  "Fuck," I whispered, throwing the blankets off and getting up to go into the bathroom.

I splashed some cool water on my face while I reflected that it had been quite awhile since my last nightmare about Jordan.  But tonight, my subconscious had taken advantage of my slight anxiety about being home alone and Cassie's recent antics.

On my way back to my bed, I picked up my Kindle and settled into bed.  My mind was still racing and I knew I wouldn't fall back asleep if I tried.  I read for about 20 minutes before my brain quieted down and my eyelids got heavy again.  I set my Kindle aside and got comfortable.  I was nearly asleep when I heard someone banging heavily on my front door.