(Now/Then) Alex: The Wait

It was unanimous! I started writing this all as one post, with the background and the date, but it got a little long.  So here is part 1, with some of the background.  Part 2, with the actual date, will go up for Friday!  Thanks to everyone that gave input on what they wanted!
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 "If you wanted to, you could take me out to dinner sometime."

I pulled the phone away from my ear and frowned at it, making sure it did say "Lauren" across the call display.  Yup.  "I have to buy you dinner before you sleep with me now?" I joked, not really sure what to make of what Lauren just said, and not wanting to hope it's what I really, really want her to mean.  When she sighed loudly, I tentatively asked, "Lauren, do you want to go out?  On a date?"

"No, I don't, never mind.  Why do you have to be such an asshole?" She was talking fast, and she sounded flustered, which is not very Lauren-like.

"Hey," I said gently.  "I'd actually love to take you out to dinner."

"You would?" Now she sounded surprised.  "Well then why the hell did you have to make a stupid joke about it?"  I felt guilty immediately for my joke, but I had no idea how else to respond.

"I'm sorry," I replied sincerely.  "I just...didn't want to assume anything, knowing your feelings on dates.  I didn't mean to freak you out."

She snorted.  "You didn't freak me out."  Right.  "But if you wanted to, Tuesday would be a really good night."  Back in charge, that's my girl.

"Tuesday is a really good night for me too.  Was there someplace you had in mind?"

She sighed again.  "I had to ask you out, I have to plan it, are you going to make me pay for it too?"  I almost laughed.  I held it in, and it's a good thing I did because I knew she was being so sarcastic and snippy because she was nervous as hell.  That's what she does.  She can be so nice, but when she's nervous, watch out.

"No, Laur, I'll take care of it.  But since you brought it up, I wanted to make sure you didn't have something already planned in your head.  I'd hate to disappoint you now."

She laughed.  "You know, sometimes you really piss me off," she replied, but she sounded much more relaxed.

"Right back atcha, babe," I replied.

"Gross, don't say that," she said with a groan.  And just like that, everything was back to normal.  Or, as normal as it could be after Lauren told me she wanted to go on a date.  With me.  We talked for a few more minutes, then I told her I'd call her once I figured out details for Tuesday.

"Good.  Don't fuck it up, Berg."  Then she hung up.  I shook my head.

Going on an actual date with Lauren was going to be really interesting.  Especially at this point in our relationship.  We had been friends for what, 8 years now?  We'd had dozens of innocent sleepovers and now several not-so-innocent ones.  

And regardless of what Christian thought, I actually hadn't been in love with Lauren since we first met, at that party freshman year.  I mean, sure, I thought she was hot.  Only an idiot wouldn't have.  She's gorgeous.  And I found her interesting from the start.  A girl that loves football as much as I do (even if she cheers for the wrong team) is always interesting.

But she put off a seriously unavailable and uninterested vibe, so I didn't bother trying to figure out if I had more serious feelings for her.  I shut that down and just enjoyed spending time with her.  It was weird at first.  It was obvious that Lauren didn't exactly know what to do with a friend that was a guy.  And she seemed like she was always on the defensive, ready to deflect and shut down anything from me that remotely resembled flirting or interest.

Once we started to get to know each other a little better though, I figured out how to interact with her in a way that was comfortable for her, and she was able to relax more.  Eventually I also learned about why she was so uptight around me at first too.  Between that asshole that broke her heart and her high school experiences, it was no wonder she had no idea how to act around me.  It made me really glad I never made a move on her.

Because let's be real, I definitely thought about it a couple times.  I would have liked to.  She's hot.  She's smart.  She's funny.  She likes football.  Who wouldn't?  But I knew it wouldn't be received well and I cared more about having her in my life than getting her naked.  So I didn't.  And really, I probably wouldn't have wanted much beyond a friends with benefits relationship at that point.  Waaaaay too much shit to wade through to prove myself for anything more than that.  It was easier to win her over with friendship first.

That makes it sound like I had some elaborate, manipulative plot to befriend her and then get in her pants, and that's definitely not the case either.  I genuinely liked her and enjoyed spending time with her.  I wanted to be her friend.  As she got more and more comfortable, I enjoyed our time together even more.  Every once in awhile I'd have a flash of thinking that maaaaybe, just maybe, I wanted more.  But by that point, I cared way too much about her to ever screw it up, so I pushed it away.

This is stupid, but I was proud (and maybe feeling a little self-important) of the way I was able to gain her trust and how comfortable she was around me.  It was hard work, and I wasn't going to do anything that fucked it up.  So I kept my mouth shut when she started sleeping around, even though I wanted to point out that if what she wanted was sex, I'd be happy to provide it whenever she wanted.  Come on, I'm a guy.

I got so good at pretending that I wanted nothing from Lauren but her company that I even liked and dated other girls.  Nothing lasted for longer than a few months.  A lot of them had issues with the fact that one of my best friends was a girl.  A hot girl.  A hot girl that never had a boyfriend.  Lauren was always incredibly respectful of my relationships.  She didn't spend the night when I was dating someone.  We didn't do much one-on-one hanging out.  But for some reason, too many of the girls I was interested in just couldn't handle her presence in my life at all.

One girl didn't mind.  She had a bunch of male friends of her own, and she was really laid back and not jealous at all.  We were actually together for almost a year.  Almost a year, until she sent me a text message that was meant for someone else.  Someone else that she was fucking.  After that, it just wasn't worth dating much.

Lauren and I stayed good friends, but as we grew into our adult lives after college, our friendship changed.  There were no more sleepovers (except the occasional "my place is too far and it's late, can I stay with you?") and we both got busy with jobs and life.  We were still good friends, but without the freedom of college it's inevitable that things shift.  Gone were any inklings of "more than friendship" feelings for Lauren, as well.  We were comfortable in our friendship.

Then Olivia came along.  We all know what happened with Olivia.  And honestly, I'm glad that she went for Brody, because the more I got to know her, the more I realized we would not have been good together.  Not at all.  Not because of anything specific.  I think Liv is really great.  I think she's smart and obviously she's gorgeous, and she's a sweet girl.  But she's too...midwest-nice.  I need someone with energy and bluntness and dry humor like mine.

And that's when I realized that I needed someone like Lauren.  The thought wasn't a pleasant one, because I knew it would never happen.  I had never seen someone stick so firmly to a "no relationships ever again" decision.  She had follow-though.  But the more I thought about it, the more I realized she really was my ideal partner.  At least, as far I knew.

Lauren started acting kind of strange around me.  I couldn't really put my finger on it, and when I asked Liv about it, she was completely oblivious.  I wondered why I cared so much, and then I worried that my recent realization had made me act differently around her and she was responding to that.  But if no one else noticed, maybe it was in my head.

I started to get frustrated because the more I saw Liv and Brody and Kinsley and Damien together, the more I wanted it for myself.  I tried to put myself out there more and I even dated a little bit but it didn't go well.  I finally just gave up.  

I really wasn't planning on sleeping with her after Kendra and Christian's wedding.  It just sort of happened.  It was enough to make me hopeful, really hopeful.  I don't know what I was expecting her to say in the car, but I was expecting something.  Instead, I got mindless chatter and awkward silence.  And she did all but actually put her hands on me to push me out of her apartment after I dropped her off. 

I was worried that we had screwed up by having sex.  As much as I wanted Lauren to be my girlfriend by this point, I valued our friendship more than anything.  So I took my cue and pretended that nothing happened.  I acted as normally as I could, and luckily she did the same. 

I thought that would be that, but then I saw the way she was glowering at the girl I was talking to at the bar we were at a few weeks later.  When I asked for a ride home, even though I wasn't even close to drunk, I still wasn't exactly sure what my plan was.  I didn't want to push anything that she didn't want, because I really didn't want to lose our friendship.  But maybe if I just gave her an opportunity to make a move, and a little encouragement...

That night turned into another night a few days later.  And then another.  And another.  When we weren't naked, Lauren acted like nothing had changed.  I tried really hard to be okay with that.  I really did.  But the more time we spent together, the more nights she spent cuddled up next to me, the more I was struggling with not pushing for more than just hooking up. 

I knew she knew I wanted more.  I could tell by the sort of sympathetic, almost pitying look she'd give me in the morning when she'd get up, get dressed, and leave.  I left the ball in her court, hoping that after enough nights spent together, she might decide to give it a shot. 

And now, it looks like my waiting finally paid off.  I guess I have a date to plan.

(Now) Lauren: The Point of No Return

Here is a little more on Lauren and Alex.  For next Friday, I'd like to do the date from one of their perspectives, but I can't decide whose.  I'm leaning towards Alex, because we have a better idea of Lauren's feelings than Alex's, but I'm not sure.  If you guys could do me a favor and leave a comment with whose perspective you'd prefer for the date, that would be most helpful!  Thanks!
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I had thought that Alex was disappointed to be so unceremoniously kicked out the day after the wedding, but he gave no indication of disappointment the next time I saw him.  In fact, he was his normal, cheerful self, giving me shit unapologetically. 

So maybe I misread the situation.  And to be completely honest, I'm not sure why I've spent so much time thinking about it.  At least, I spent a lot of time thinking about it when I wasn't thinking about Brad, my coworker.  Once we'd finally just had sex, he couldn't seem to stay away.  So much for him being uptight about company policy.  I was completely okay with that, because the sex was so good.

But now it's been a couple weeks, and I've been sleeping with Brad regularly, and it's just so...easy.   Almost too easy.  It's not even fun anymore.  Part of the fun was trying to land a guy that was all paranoid about "company policy."  Don't get me wrong, the sex is still good, but it's definitely missing the excitement of the build up and subtle flirting and "accidental" contact.

And something is still bugging me about what happened with Alex.  I know I saw his irritation at my refusal to acknowledge what happened, and his disappointment when I pushed him out of my apartment.  I'm not usually wrong about that stuff.  I guess I could be wrong, but I really don't think I am.  It's just a little strange how he went back to normal after that, not bringing it up, not even looking at me the way he had looked at me.

And let's talk about that.  Let's talk about the way he looked at me.  Because I don't think he's ever looked at me like that, even after racking my brain back through all our years together.  After I got over my initial confusion about whether he wanted to date me or just be my friend, back when I had just met him, I had never again felt like he might want anything more from me than friendship.  Never.  But on that Sunday, he had definitely looked at me like he wanted a lot more.

Of course, to complicate it all, I have feelings on the subject too.  And my feelings are: NOPE.  Because what is more terrifying than potentially ruining a long term, amazing friendship by crossing the line out of friendship and into...relationship?  Fuck buddies?  Or whatever it is that he wants.

And I know he knows I don't do relationships.  He was there to witness the after-effects of my one failed attempt.  And after that, after my world had come crumbling down over a stupid guy that I barely even knew, I had promised myself that I would never be in that place again.  And the only way to avoid that place was to avoid relationships.  Because relationships end.  Always.  You break up, you get divorced, someone dies.  There is no such thing as "together forever."

So, if I'm firmly anti-Alex-as-anything-more-than-a-friend, why am I pissed off that he's flirting with some random skanky-looking girl at this bar we're at?  I do have several reasons, actually.  One is that she barely looks like she's old enough to be in this bar.  I mean, she looks like she's in high school.  Another reason is that she looks like the girl in high school that gave out BJs under the bleachers.  Gross.  And her hair is a mess.  She needs a new straightener, or at least to embrace her natural curls.

"Lauren, what are you looking at?" Kinsley's voice breaks into my nasty, judgmental thoughts about the girl Alex is talking to, and my cheeks heat up a little when I realize I'm caught.

"Nothing, just kind of zoning out," I reply, turning to look at her.  She gives me a look like she doesn't quite believe me but she lets it go anyway, and I'm thankful.  I wish suddenly that I hadn't driven here, because I could use another drink.  Instead, I take a sip of my water and force a smile for Kinsley's benefit.  When Alex stands and walks up to the bar with one hand on that stupid girl's back, I turn away and engage in mindless conversation with Kinsley.

At some point in the next hour, the girl disappears and Alex rejoins us.  I glance at my phone and see that it's already nearly 1 am.  "Do you need a ride?" I ask Kinsley.  She shakes her head and says that Damien's on his way to pick her up.

"I do, if you're offering," Alex says.

I turn to look at him and cock one eyebrow, before saying snidely,  "I was offering to Kinsley, but I guess I can give you a ride.  Does your new friend need a ride too?"  Before he can answer, Kinsley is saying goodbye and walking towards the door with Kendra and Christian.

I think maybe I got away with my jab, but Alex leans up against the table, angling his body towards me, and smirks.  "Jealous?" he asks.

I snort.  "Oh yes, absolutely," I say, my words dripping with over-the-top sarcasm.  "I am completely jealous of a barely legal bimbo flouncing around a bar, manipulating guys into buying her drinks."

He studies me for several seconds, which is long enough to make me squirm.  "I think you are," he replies.  "But no need to be jealous, because you're the one I'm leaving with."  He grabs my hand and tugs me towards the door.

"You're only leaving with me because I'm driving your drunk ass home," I snap as we weave through the people.

"Okay," he says back.

I stubbornly refuse to engage with him until we're in my car and I mutter, "Put your seat belt on."  I don't even know why I say it.  He was in the process of reaching for it before I even started talking.

"Yes, ma'am," he replies, and I can see him stifling a laugh even out of the corner of my eye.

I stay silent on the drive, not trusting myself to talk.  When I pull into his driveway, I put the car in park and turn to look at him.  He's looking at me already and my face gets warm when our eyes meet.  This is the first time I've been alone with him since the day after the wedding, and I'm kind of freaking out.

"Come in for a little while," he says.  It's stated as a command, but his tone makes it clear it's a request.

"Why?" I ask, grasping for reasons why I shouldn't.  My apartment is in a really inconvenient place, and I've spent the night with Alex before after a night out.  Completely innocently, of course, so it would be weird for me to refuse this time.  If I refused this time, it would mean...something.  But if I spent the night tonight, it would also mean something.

"Because you want to."  His voice is soft but he's looking at me with that look again.  The look.  The one from my apartment right before I kicked him out.

"No I don't," I protest, but we both know I'm lying.  He takes his seat belt off and leans across the center console and my heart races, because I'm pretty sure he's going to kiss me.  But instead, he reaches for my keys and turns them, turning off my car.  I glare at him.  Who the fuck does he think he is?   I'm about to rebuke him, but he grabs my hand, turns it over so my palm is up, and presses my keys into it.  I stare down at my hand, furious at my body betraying me by sending heat up my arm from where Alex's skin touches my own.

He keeps his gentle grip on my wrist, but two fingers from the hand that once held my keys tip my chin up, and there's no mistaking the look on his face, even in the semi-darkness.  After my eyes lock with his, the fingers on my chin slide back along my jaw, across my neck, and into my hair.  His grip is light, and I could move if I wanted to, but I don't.  "Come inside," he says again.  I shake my head.  I can't.  But even as I'm shaking my head, I'm leaning towards him.

When our lips meet, it feels different than it did after the wedding.  Probably partially because I'm not drunk, but something else too.  When we kissed after the wedding, it was something to do.  He was there, we were drunk, it made sense.  But now...it feels like it means something.  That thought makes me pull back abruptly, and I see the same disappointment on Alex's face that I had seen the day after the wedding.

"You're drunk," I say, my voice cracking.  I clear my throat.  "I don't want...I shouldn't..." I stop, having no idea what I was going to say.

"I'm not, actually," he replies.  I roll my eyes, because seriously?  "How many drinks do you think I had?" he asks curiously.  I think back, realizing I only actually saw him with one drink.  And then I realize that he's not acting like drunk Alex either.  And then I realize he's still in my space, and despite every logical bone in my body, I want to go inside with him.

"Okay," I sigh.  Alex pulls back a little further and looks at me, confused.  I grab my purse, drop my keys--which had still been clenched in my hand--in it, and take my seat belt off.  "Well, are you coming in or not?" I ask him as I open my door, needing to regain just the smallest bit of control.  He scrambles to get out of the car and easily catches up to me before I reach his front door.

Once we're inside, he turns to me and starts to say something, but I quickly shut him up by kissing him hard and pulling him against me.  If we're going to do this, we're going to do it on my terms.  I walk backwards three steps, pulling him with me, our lips never breaking contact.  When my back is settled firmly against the wall and I'm trapped by Alex's body, tight against mine, I turn my head slightly, breaking our kiss.  "I still don't do relationships, you know," I advise him.

"I know," he agrees.  His voice is serious, and so is his face.  Good.  I need him to know where I'm at right now before we go anything further.

"You shouldn't anticipate that that will change," I continue, studying his face as I talk, looking for clues to how he feels about this.

"I know," he repeats.  "I respect that."  He respects that.  What does that mean?  That he wants it to change, but he's not going to push it?  I don't move, I don't say anything.  I don't want to do anything that's going to damage our friendship, and I need something more concrete than "I respect that."  He seems to understand my hesitation and says softly, "I'd never push you for anything you don't want, Lauren.  Never.  I care about our friendship way too much for that.  I'm okay with this."

That's all I need, and I slip my fingers into his hair, pulling his head down to mine and kissing him.  His hands grip my hips as he moves his mouth to my ear, sucking on my earlobe, then down my neck.  I tip my head back so he can move his lips across my throat, and I groan softly.  He suddenly pulls his mouth away, but before I can be disappointed, he turns me so I'm facing away from him.  He kisses the back of my neck as his hands move up under my shirt, unhooking my bra before sliding back around and cupping my breasts.

In minutes, my shirt is gone and my pants are around my ankles, and I'm moaning with my forehead pressed against the wall as his fingers move between my legs.  I put my hand on his wrist and stop his hand so I can gasp, "Do you have a condom?"  I'm ready to get this show on the road.

"In my room," he replies, his breath warm against my ear.  He steadies me as I step out of my pants and then leads me to his room.  I sit on the edge of the bed as I wait for him to get undressed and get a condom.  When he returns to me, he slides his hands up my legs, pushing them apart as he starts to kneel in front of me.  "No," I growl, pulling him up.  "Just fuck me."

He cocks an eyebrow and smirks.  "If that's what you want," he replies playfully.  Before I can respond, he's flipped me over so I'm bent over the bed, facedown.  I gasp and grip the blankets as he pushes into me hard.  I moan as he eases back slowly, and I try to rock my hips back to meet him but he keeps me still with his hands on my hips, then slams back against me.

We're sweaty and breathless by the time we both finish, and I need Alex to help pull me up from where I want to just melt into the bed, half standing, half laying.

"Damn, that was good," I mutter, settling into a comfortable spot, kicking the blankets away from where they try to tangle around my feet. 

"Even better sober," Alex agrees with a chuckle, returning from the bathroom and sliding close to me.  I roll over towards him and snuggle against his chest.  What?  I get affectionate after sex.  It's pretty much the only time.  I yawn as he wraps one arm around me and pushes the other into my hair, gently rubbing his fingertips against my scalp.  He knows how much I love that, and seems more than happy to do it.

When I can no longer keep my eyes open, I sit up and stretch.  "I should go,"I say, hesitating.  I don't really want to, but I don't think staying is a good idea either.

"Stay, Laur.  It's late."  Alex looks up at me, his face unreadable.  I don't say anything, but I don't move either.  "It's never meant anything in the past, it doesn't need to mean anything now either."  I wish I could believe that, but I don't.  I yawn again.  "Look," Alex says, sitting up.  "I'll give you clothes to wear.  You can sleep on the damn couch if you really want to.  But it's late and you're tired, and I don't feel good about you driving home right now."  He has a point, and I finally nod.  He gets up, pulls on a pair of shorts he picked up off the floor and walks over to his dresser.

I can't help but admire the muscles in his shoulders and back as he pulls drawers open and grabs a few things.  He comes back to the bed and hands me a shirt and a pair of shorts.  I pull the shirt on, and it's long enough that I just hand the shorts back.  "I don't know if I can resist you if I wake up in the morning with you pants-less in my bed," he warns. 

I shrug and smirk.  "Well, I was going to go sleep on the couch, but I like morning sex, so I think I'll stay here."  I pull the blankets up and lay back.  Alex chuckles and climbs back into bed next to me.  He lays next to me on his side, and drapes his arm over my stomach.  I hesitate for a half a second before I roll onto my side and press my back against his chest as he tightens his arm around my waist.

"Goodnight, Lauren," he whispers against the back of my neck.  I shiver slightly from his breath tickling my skin.

"Goodnight," I reply sleepily.  As I close my eyes, I finally admit to myself that there's no way our relationship can stay how it's always been after this.  We passed the point of no return tonight, and I let it happen. 
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Don't forget to let me know whose perspective you'd like to read about their date in!

The Hangover

As promised, a bonus post for your Wednesday evening.  Enjoy!
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Our Friday girls' night was perfectly low key.  We laid around in our pajamas and drank too much wine and ate too much food and watched too much trashy TV.  Cassie filled us in on her date with Ben's brother, Nick.

"The date was really good, but he ruined it when he kissed me at the end," she reported, grimacing.

"Bad?" I asked.

"So bad," she groaned.  "Too much tongue.  It was like he was trying to seriously lick every surface of the inside of my mouth."

"Gross!" Kinsley shrieked.  We all agreed.

"Do you think he's trainable?" Kendra asked.  I laughed, picturing Cassie patting him on the head and telling him good job after kissing appropriately.

Cassie shook her head.  "I don't even think I want to find out."

"James is still single, if you can deal with his crazy drunk brother," I joked.

"James is hot," Cassie replied.  "I'd do him."

"Well, I can assure you that he is an excellent kisser," I said.  "But I wouldn't wish his brother on anyone."

"And I wouldn't date someone you used to date," Cassie said.

I shrugged.  "I don't care.  We didn't date that long and we're not on bad terms.  It's not like he screwed me over.  You guys would be a good match, actually."

"They would," Lauren agreed, nodding slowly.  "That's actually an excellent idea."

"We could double date!" Kinsley said excitedly.  Cassie and Kendra were both looking at us like we were insane.

"You guys are ridiculous," Cassie replied.  "I'm not even going to listen to any more of this."  I shrugged and Lauren changed the subject by asking about Brody.

"Is he still working constantly and blowing you off?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at me.

"No, things have been really good since....well, since the weekend we were supposed to go skiing but ended up in Wisconsin," I responded.  "I mean, he's still working a ton, and I've probably seen him a little less, but he's been better about not interrupting the time we are together with work calls and stuff.  And I prefer a little less time with fewer interruptions to more time with his phone constantly ringing."

"Good," Kinsley declared.

The rest of the night disappeared into a blur of wine and snacks and gossip, and when I woke up next to Cassie in Kinsley's guest bed, my head was throbbing and my mouth was disgustingly dry.   I groaned as I rolled over, but Cassie popped up into a sitting position, grinning at me.

"Feeling good, lightweight?" she asked.  I glared and pulled the blanket over my head.  "I've never seen you that drunk before, it was excellent."

"You've never seen me that drunk because I hate being hungover," I mumbled from beneath the blanket.  "I hope you never see me drunk again."

She pulled the blanket back.  "Kinsley left a bottle of water and some aspirin on the dresser for you," she reported.   When I said nothing and continued to glare at her, she hopped out of bed and brought them over to me.  I swallowed two aspirin and drank half the bottle of water, closing my eyes against the pounding in my head.  Cassie got up and let me go back to sleep, and when I woke up again about an hour later, I felt much better already.

Cassie, Kendra, and Kinsley were sitting in the kitchen with coffee and french toast.  Lauren apparently wasn't very good shape either and was still in bed.  She definitely got uncharacteristically drunk last night too.  I grabbed a cup of coffee and a plate of french toast and sat down.

I felt almost normal after eating, which was pretty much a record hangover recovery for me.  We all left early in the afternoon, and after I showered I called Brody.

"Ready for me?" I asked when he answered.

"I can't even answer that seriously," he responded, laughing.  "My mind is in a dirty place.  But yes, come anytime."  He laughed again at his terrible inadvertent dirty joke.

"You're awful," I replied.  I picked up pizza on my way out for later, since no one delivered out there.  He took the pizza and my overnight bag when he answered the door.  After he put the pizza in the fridge and set my bag down, he kissed me.

"Hi," he said.  "You look much better than I expected you to after our conversation last night."

"I called you last night?" I groaned.  "What did I say?"

"Nothing," he said, laughing.  "You just called to say goodnight.  A very slurred and enthusiastic goodnight."

We spent most of the afternoon laying on the couch, watching movies.  At some point I fell asleep, and Brody woke me up to go upstairs and lay down.  Just walking upstairs woke me up enough that when Brody laid down next to me I slipped my hand behind his head and pulled him closer, kissing him.

"I thought we were coming up here to nap," he teased me, his hand sliding over my hip. 

"Well we were, but then I woke up a little," I replied before kissing his neck and slipping my hands under his shirt, running my fingers across his abs.

Brody stifled a yawn.  "I'm awfully tired, you might have to convince me," he said, his hand gripping my hip.   I moved my hand lower, gliding it across the front of his shorts before rolling so I was on top of him.  I pulled my shirt off and leaned down to kiss him, moving my hips in a circle against his.  He groaned and I could feel him growing harder beneath me. 

"It doesn't seem like you need that much convincing," I whispered in his ear before brushing my lips against his earlobe and moving back down to the side of his neck.  He grabbed my hips and pulled them hard against his own, then lifted his head and kissed me.

He rolled us over so he was on top of me now.  "Nope, that'll do," he said with a grin.

"Now I'm ready to nap," I said when we were finished.  I rolled onto my side and scooted backwards until my back was pressed against Brody's chest.  He wrapped his arm around me and kissed my shoulder lightly.

"And I'm wide awake," he retorted.

"Sad for you," I replied, smirking.

He tightened his arm around me.  "Or sad for you, because you're going to have to deal with me," he said with a laugh.

"Shhhhhh, I'm sleeping."

"That's weird, I didn't know you talked in your sleep."  He nuzzled his face against my hair.  "Your hair smells good."  I tried ignoring him, hoping he would get sleepy eventually.  Then I felt his lips on my shoulder.  He kissed across my shoulder and up the back of my neck.  Meanwhile, his hand was sliding up my stomach.  He ran his fingers over the underside of my breast, then brushed his thumb across my nipple before moving his hand down between my legs.

"You better let me sleep after this," I gasped before rolling over and climbing on top of him.  He was already hard and I guided him into me and slid down hard.

"Mmmmm," he breathed, pulling my head down to kiss me.  "I will, promise."  I rocked my hips against him, slowly at first, then faster.  He grabbed my hips and matched my movements, pulling my hips down against him as he thrust up into me.  He moved one hand from my hips to move his thumb in circles against me, and it wasn't long before I cried out, my legs shaking against Brody's hips.  He followed shortly after, digging his fingers hard into my hips.

I rolled off and slipped into the bathroom.  When I came back, Brody was still sprawled across the bed on his back, and he barely opened his eyes as I climbed back into bed next to him and pulled a blanket up over us.  I yawned as I settled my head on his chest.  "Sleepy now?" I asked him.  He nodded, wrapping one arm around me, and pushing my hair behind my ear with the other hand.  He repeated the movement that had finally put me to sleep after Lynn's accident, running his finger lightly over the edge of my ear and down my jaw.  I yawned again and closed my eyes, and soon we were both asleep. 

When I woke, it was nearly dark in Brody's room.  I lifted my head to try to see Brody's clock, but I couldn't see it without climbing over him.  "It's almost 7," he said softly, startling me.

"I didn't know you were awake," I said, shifting away from him so I could see his face.

He smiled at me.  "I've been awake for about 15 minutes.  I didn't want to wake you, since I said I'd let you sleep." 

"Well that was nice of you," I said, smiling back.  I yawned and stretched.  "I'm hungry."

Brody laughed.  "Of course you are."  We got up and dressed and went downstairs to eat the pizza I had picked up earlier.  When we were seated at the table with pizza, he asked, "What do you want to do for your birthday?"  I had nearly forgotten my birthday was a week from tomorrow until Lauren had brought it up the night before.

"I don't know, really," I said.  "We talked about it a little last night at Kinsley's, and I think I just want to do something low key.  Maybe just go out to dinner with everyone and grab a few drinks.  Nothing crazy."  Brody frowned.  I raised my eyebrows and said, "And don't even think about getting me anything, because you spent more than enough on my Christmas gift."

"I'll take that into consideration," he said noncommittally.  I glared at him.  He smiled.  Part of my hesitation at wanting to do much was the fact that Brody had turned 30 while he was in Miami and I hadn't even called him to wish him a happy birthday.  I still felt guilty about it, even though we weren't together at the time.  I should have at least called.  I had handled the whole Miami situation poorly from start to finish, but at least Brody didn't seem to hold it against me. 

After a few minutes he said, "I assume that if we go out, it will be on Saturday?"  I nodded.  "Can I at least take you to dinner on Sunday then?  Since Todd will be here this week, I probably won't have a ton of free time during the week, so I'd love to be able to spend Sunday with you, with no work interruptions."  Brody's former classmate in San Diego that wanted to partner with him was coming out this week to see the office and the work Brody's company was doing.

"Yes, that sounds like a plan," I replied.  Spending my birthday with Brody without any work interruptions sounded like the perfect birthday gift.

We spent the rest of the evening as lazily as we spent the afternoon.  The next day we decided to go snowshoeing.  We went to a nearby park where I could rent snowshoes since I'd never been.  Once I got the hang of the weird stride that walking with big pieces of metal strapped to your feet required, it was easy and fun.  It was just like hiking, but in the snow.  It was a much better workout than I thought it would be, and I was exhausted and sweaty after almost an hour and a half.

"That was awesome," I said, when we were in Brody's SUV on the way back to his house.

He glanced at me and grinned.  "I'm happy you liked it.  I haven't been in a long time, so I'm glad we went."

"We should go again next weekend!" I said.  Brody laughed and agreed that we should.

We went back to Brody's house and showered.  While we were making dinner together, his phone rang.  He glanced at it.  "Hey, it's Todd, I should only be a couple minutes," he said.  I nodded.  He answered, leaning against the counter out of my way.  He talked for a few minutes, giving Todd the information for the flight and hotel room he had booked for him.  Then while he was listening, he looked over at me.  "Yeah, I can talk to her and I'll let you know what works....Sounds good.  See you tomorrow then, bye."

I looked at him curiously.  "He invited us both to dinner this week.  Would you like to go?"

"Sure," I said, after hesitating for a second.

"He specifically said it would be a social dinner, not a business dinner.  He wants to meet you and catch up with me, that's all," he assured me.  I agreed and we decided on Tuesday.  Brody texted Todd to let him know, then confirmed that Tuesday would work.  He walked back over to me and slid his arms around my waist.  I leaned back against him.  "Don't look so nervous, it's just dinner," he teased.  "I'm sure Todd is just curious what kind of woman has commanded my attention enough for me to call her 'girlfriend'.  He only knew me in my anti-commitment phase."

"Oh, that helps," I said sarcastically.  "And wasn't that most of your adult life?"

"Yeah, pretty much from halfway through my senior year in high school until this summer, when someone changed my mind," he said softly, leaning his head forward to kiss my cheek.  I turned to face him and put my arms around his neck.  He kissed me gently.

As usual, I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just leaned my head against his chest, breathing in his scent.  "Can I stay here tonight?" I asked.

"Of course," he replied.  "I'm planning on being up by 5 to head to the gym before the office though."

"That's fine, I need to go home early to get ready for work anyway.  I just would rather sleep here with you tonight than go home." 

"You can stay here whenever you want, you know that," he said, tightening his arms around me.  "I sleep better with you."

"I sleep better with you too," I replied.  "Which is weird, because I usually sleep terribly when I'm not at home."

"Well, it's lucky for me, I guess."  I could feel him smiling against my hair, and I could have stood in his kitchen with him like that forever.

The Date

Tuesday was similar to Monday, except after work I went to Lauren's apartment.  She was going out with Alex and I was planning to do her makeup, as promised.  I bounced through her door, excited to help her get ready for her date.

"Aren't you cheerful?" she grumbled as she pulled a dress over her head.

"I am!  I'm excited that you're going out with him," I chirped, stepping over to zip her up.  "You, on the other hand, are acting as though you're going to a date with your executioner."

She glared at me for half a second before her grumpy facade crumbled.  "I'm so nervous," she admitted miserably.  "What if I blow it and he decides that he doesn't actually like me anymore?"

"Lauren, don't be dumb," I said.  "He's known you for how long now?  Even if you completely blow it, I don't think it will be enough to make him forget everything he's decided to like about you in the last two years.  I mean, let's be honest...how many times have you been a complete bitch to him through the years? He's seen the worst, and he's still going out with you tonight."  Oddly enough, this seemed to calm her down fractionally. 

"Okay, so what about sex?  Can I have sex with him tonight?  I hear that you're not supposed to have sex on the first date, and technically this is the first date."  Lauren was obviously head over heels for Alex, because she had completely lost touch with her normal cool-headed logic and sounded exactly like me.

"I think that ship has sailed, darling," I said with a laugh.  "If the situation presents itself and you want to have sex with him, then have sex with him.  It's not like he hasn't already sampled the goods."

"I'm being ridiculous," she said.

"Yes," I replied.  "You're being very ridiculous.  But it's refreshing, I finally feel like you have normal feelings."  She threw a sock at me and we both laughed.  "That's more like it," I said.  "Now bring your face over here."  I did a soft, muted smoky eye, not wanting anything too dramatically different than her normal look, subtly contoured her cheekbones, forehead, and jaw, and finished her off with a pretty pink lip gloss.  I tossed the gloss to her, telling her to keep it for the night. 

"It's perfect," she said, admiring herself in the mirror.  "Can you just follow me around and do my makeup every day?"

"I don't even do my own makeup like that every day," I said with a chuckle.  "I better go before he gets here.  Have so much fun, and call me!  I want to hear all about it!" I hugged her and left.

I didn't hear from her Tuesday night, but on Wednesday she sent me a text: "Didn't get home until late, I'll call you tonight!" Sounded positive.  I was excited to hear about how things went.

I waited impatiently for her call that night, but Brody beat her.  "Hey," I answered cheerfully.

"Hi," he replied warmly.  "What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Working and then I planned to go to happy hour," I said.

"Skip happy hour and come to my house," he requested.  "Actually, you probably don't even need to skip happy hour.  I'm not going into the office Friday.  I have a conference call in the afternoon, but I'm taking it at home.  I want to make you dinner and spend the night with you."  I didn't have to work on Friday either.  Apparently, they figured they should only overload new employees' brains for 4 days the first week.

"I would love to, but are you sure you want to make dinner after the week you've had?" I asked.  "I can make dinner, or we can do it together."

"No," he replied firmly.  "I want to make dinner for you.  It's my thank you for being so patient lately."

"Okay, if you insist, I'll let you make dinner," I said, smiling.

"Come at about 8?"

"8 is perfect," I responded.  We said goodbye and hung up just in time for my phone to ring again.  Lauren.

"Hi!" I said excitedly.  I was literally bouncing on my couch, ready to hear about her date.

"You were right!" she replied, in lieu of a greeting.  "I was super nervous at first, but it ended up being easy and normal and so, so awesome."

"I was right," I repeated in mock awe.  "I will treasure this day forever and ever."

"Shut up!" Lauren laughed.  "I had so much fun.  It's so easy being myself around him.  But it still felt different than when we usually hang out.  I mean, it felt like a date."

"And did you bang him?" I asked.

"No.  He walked me inside and we kissed, but then we just said goodnight.   It felt like the right thing to do."

"Aw, there is a classy lady in there somewhere," I teased.

"Shhh, you'll ruin my reputation!" she said back, laughing.  She sounded so happy, and I was so excited for her.  "We're going out again on Saturday.  I almost forgot we were doing girls' night on Friday."

"Yes, we are.  We're just staying in this time though, right?"  We had talked about doing a low key girls night this week instead of going out, and I was looking forward to it.  Lauren confirmed that was the plan.  We talked briefly about happy hour the next day and then hung up.

I made it through my last day of orientation unscathed and I headed for happy hour.  Lauren, Alex, and Kinsley were already there, and I did a happy dance in my head to see Alex's arm casually slung over the back of Lauren's chair, and his head bent towards hers.  Kinsley and I exchanged knowing smiles.  "Thank god you're here," she whispered to me, as she got up to walk up to the bar with me.  "The wonder couple hasn't even realized I'm sitting next to them yet."  I laughed.

I hung out for a little over an hour, and we discussed plans for Friday night.  We were going to spend the night at Kinsley's house, since she had the most room.  We settled who was bringing what, and then I left to go out to Brody's house.  I stopped at home to change out of my work clothes and pack an overnight bag.  I grabbed a bottle of wine and cookies I had made the night before when I was bored and then set off.

Brody greeted me happily at the door.  "Cookies and wine, an interesting combination," he said, taking my offered gifts and setting them on the counter.

"That's fine," I replied.  "I'll eat all the cookies and drink all the wine if you don't like it."

He caught me by the waist and pulled me close to him.    "I didn't say I didn't like it," he murmured, kissing me.  I kissed him back, sliding my fingers into his hair and tugging gently. 

"What's for dinner?" I asked, pulling away finally.  He didn't answer.  "Um, hello?" I said, tugging on his hair again.

"Sorry, I was busy thinking about what I was going to do to you after dinner," he said, grinning mischievously.  He walked to the oven and pulled out a baking dish.  "Citrus glazed salmon, roasted potatoes, and green beans."

"So balanced and healthy," I commented.  "Good thing I brought cookies and wine!" 

"Actually, the salmon is covered in brown sugar," he replied.  "There's probably more sugar on the salmon than in your cookies." 

"Oh, well in that case, have I ever told you that it's pretty much the sexiest thing ever when a man can cook?"

"But only when brown sugar is involved?" he asked, laughing. 

I slid my arms around him from behind and kissed his shoulder.  "Nope, always.  It's just even hotter when there's brown sugar involved." 

"So I can get lazy and fat and stop trying to impress you, and as long as I cook every once in awhile, you'll still be totally turned on by me?" he asked, turning around and cocking an eyebrow.

"Whoa, let's not get carried away," I said with a laugh.  I poured two glasses of wine and we ate dinner leisurely, finishing the bottle of wine while we ate.  Brody's phone didn't ring once.

I took our plates over to the sink when we finished and started to wash them.  Brody slid his hands across my hips and kissed the back of my neck.  "Those will still be there tomorrow," he murmured in my ear, catching my earlobe gently between his teeth.

"Not if I wash them now," I said, swiveling my hips slightly against his to tease him.

"Come on," he cajoled, sliding his hands under my shirt.  "I can think of so many better ways to spend our time tonight."  His fingers slipped beneath my bra and found my nipples.  I sucked in a sharp breath, but continued to wash the dishes, enjoying torturing him.

"And we can certainly do all those things when the dishes are done," I said, smirking even though he couldn't see my face.

"You leave me no choice," he replied.  He unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans and slid his hand down my underwear.  When his fingers made contact with me, I groaned and leaned back against him, forgetting about the dishes.

"Okay," I gasped, gripping the edge of the sink to steady myself.  "You win!"

He spun me around to face him and turned off the water.  "Don't worry," he said with a grin, "I'm pretty sure you'll win too." 

Business Proposition

This week's posts are a little shorter than usual, so I feel a bonus post coming on sometime soon! 
_________________________________ 

I woke up before my alarm on Monday, not that I had slept well to begin with.  I dragged myself out of bed, figuring there was no sense in laying there any longer, and got into the shower.  When I got out of the shower, I had a text from Brody wishing me a good first day at the new job.  I smiled and texted him back quickly before getting dressed.  After I was dressed, I decided I didn't like my outfit and changed.  And then I changed again.  Finally satisfied, I dried my hair and put on makeup.

I got to the new job 15 minutes early and sat in my car playing on my phone for a few minutes, not wanting to set too much of a punctuality precedent.  Finally, I realized I was being ridiculous in my typical fashion and just went inside.  I was quickly ushered to the HR office to fill out piles of paperwork.

After paperwork I got a tour and was shown my office before my orientation with Kelly, who was one of the people that had interviewed me and would be my supervisor.  She explained the way schedules are structured, and that everyone was required to keep Saturday hours two times a month.  You then get two flex days a month to take off whenever you wanted, though they encouraged people to make those days consistent when possible.  I asked when most people took their flex days, and she said that some people chose to take the Monday after their Saturday off, and some took the Friday or Monday off their off-weekend off to have three day weekends every other week.  Saturdays were 5 hours, but you were still paid as though it was 8 hours, and you could arrange the actual hours however it worked best for you and your clients.

I got 30 minutes for lunch and pulled out my phone as I was walking to a nearby coffee shop to grab something.  I had another text from Brody: "Dinner tonight?  I want to hear all about your first day."  I called him and we made plans to meet for dinner near his office, since he was going to be stuck at work late again.

The rest of my afternoon was policies and procedures and meeting people whose names I promptly forgot.  I was completely overwhelmed and had a headache by the time they sent me home for the day.  I really hate the first few days at a new job.

I went home and changed into leggings and a long sweater, then curled up on my couch with a mug of tea and my Kindle.  I needed to unwind my brain after stuffing it full of policies and names and schedules.

At 7:30 I touched up my makeup and pulled on boots and my coat and drove downtown to meet Brody.  He wasn't at the restaurant yet, so I sat at the bar and ordered a drink.  A couple minutes later, I saw him walk in, talking on his phone.  He saw me and headed over to the bar, kissing me quickly on the cheek before wrapping up his conversation and hanging up.  "Hi, gorgeous," he said, turning his phone off and sticking it in his pocket.  "Sorry."

"Don't be," I said, kissing him.  "How was your day?"

"A better question would probably be 'How is my day?' because I'm going back to work after we eat," he replied with a grimace.  He looked so tired.  "But I want to hear about yours first."  I filled him in on my day, telling him about the schedule and the people.

"I think I'm going to take three day weekends with my flex days, at least for awhile," I said.  "I think having three day weekends every other week sounds better, even if it means I work 6 days in a row on the opposite weeks."  Brody agreed.

"So tell me about your day," I said when I was finished with my first day recap.

"Well, I did get an interesting phone call today," he reported.  "It was the call I was on when I got here, and it was someone that I went to college with.  He lives in San Diego now and has a marketing and PR company out there.  Their client base is generally artists and musicians, but he heard about my work and is interested in partnering with me."  He looked excited.

"So what does 'partnering with you' mean?" I asked curiously.

"Essentially, he's interested in me potentially opening an office out there, connected with his company."

I grinned, knowing that one of Brody's goals was to open offices in other places.  "That is awesome!" I said excitedly.

Brody nodded, but then frowned.  "Unfortunately, we're just not in a good place to be doing that right now.  He wanted me to come spend a couple weeks out there, and I just can't be out there for that long right now, not to mention I'm barely keeping my head above water just running this office."

"So what, it's just not an option then?" I asked, confused.

"Well, I gave him a rundown on the current situation here, and he told me he remembers very well when he left his partner and was on his own for the first time a couple years ago.  He wants to come out here and see what we do, and we'll talk a more reasonable timeline if he likes what he sees."  The smile was back on Brody's face and I smiled back.

"I'm proud of you; that's really exciting!  You've worked so hard and it's so cool that other people are noticing," I said.

Our dinner came, and we chatted about random things while we ate.  After Brody paid, we walked to the door together.  He walked me to my car and slipped his arms around me, hugging me tightly.  "I know that dealing with my job hasn't been easy for you," he said when he had pulled back.  "And hearing that I might be opening a new office halfway across the county in the near future probably isn't much fun, but your excitement and support tonight really meant a lot to me."

I smiled at him and stood on my tiptoes to kiss him.  "You're right, it hasn't been easy, and I'm definitely a little nervous about what it means to have you opening a new office, but I really am happy for you because I know it's what you've been working for.  And I know that you're trying hard to minimize work interruptions during our time together, and that helps." 

"I am, because our time together is important to me.  I love you, Liv."

"I love you too," I replied, kissing him again.  He pulled open my car door for me and we went our separate ways, me home and him back to his office.

I was laying in bed at 10:30, almost asleep, when my phone rang.  I looked at it in confusion and saw it was Brody.  "Hello?" I answered.

"Hey, I'm so sorry, I know it's late.  But do you think I could crash at your place?  I'm just leaving the office and I'm not sure I'd make it home."  He sounded exhausted, and I wondered what time he had gotten to the office this morning.

"Of course," I said, sitting up.  "I'll unlock the door, just come in when you get here."  I yawned as I walked downstairs to unlock the door.  I flipped the deadbolt and slid the chain out and went back upstairs.

When Brody got there, he slipped quietly into the bathroom and a few minutes later slid into bed next to me.  I was half asleep when he curled around me and whispered, "Thanks, sorry I woke you."

"Don't worry, I'll let you make it up to me later," I replied sleepily.  He laughed and kissed my cheek.

"I'm sure you will," he replied. 

(Now) Lauren: This is Why I Don't Get Drunk

I am drunk.

Not wasted, but drunk enough to be a little ridiculous.  I hate being drunk.  I really prefer being in complete control of myself as much as possible.  But between the open bar and dreading having to spend the night in a hotel room with Damien and Kinsley (why did I think that was a good idea?), I am drunk.

"Need another one?" Alex asks me, as I drain the drink in my hand.

I stand without even looking at him.  "Yup," I say, and he joins me as I walk to the bar.

As we walk, he slings his arm casually around my shoulders.  "This is the most drunk I've ever seen you."  I look at him out of the corner of my eye, but quickly shake my head and focus forward again, because that makes me dizzy.

"Yeah," I reply, not sure what else to say.

"And speechless too?  Tonight is a night for the record books."  Alex chuckles as I glare at him.

"Shut up, asshole," I say, but I'm rolling my eyes and fighting a laugh myself.  We get our drinks and head back to the table.  Brody, Damien, and Kendra's brother are deep in conversation about something, and Liv and Kinsley are dancing. 

"So what's up?" Alex asks me.

I look at him curiously.  "What do you mean?"

"You've been distracted all day, and you're drunk.  Why?"

What am I supposed to say to that?  "Well, to be honest, I'm thinking about how last night I accidentally had the best sex I've ever had in my entire life with my coworker that I shouldn't be having sex with"?  Probably not.  Luckily, I'm saved from answering by the arrival of a breathless Liv and Kinsley.  Liv and Brody disappear outside and Kinsley sits practically on top of Damien.  Maybe they'll leave soon so they can do whatever they're going to do and then pass out before I get back to the room.

After a few minutes, Damien and Kinsley do leave, and Kendra's brother wanders away too.  I'm relieved for a second, until I become incredibly conscious of Alex's eyes on me.  "I can't believe I thought it was a good idea to share a room with them," I say quickly, trying to fight the weird feeling I'm getting from his gaze.  It's not bad weird, just weird.

Alex doesn't say anything for several seconds, then he says, "I have my own room."  That's it.  Just that he has his own room.

"That's excellent," I mutter sarcastically.  What good does that do me?  Rub it in some more.

He chuckles.  "You could stay with me."  When I look at him weirdly, he quickly adds, "There are two beds."

I'm considering this when Liv and Brody hurry back in.  Liv's face is flushed from the cold and she looks...strange.  Not really upset, but not really happy either.  They grab their stuff, say goodnight, and leave.

From there, the night gets kind of ugly.  Alex and I spend some time making the rounds of our college friends that are in attendance and quickly learn about Savannah's confrontation of Liv and Brody.  At some point, Savannah makes quite a scene, and it's after this that Alex and I decide we're done with the reception.  I'm wobbly, and he isn't too sober himself, but he's more stable than I am.  I almost tip over on my heels as we wait for the elevator and he quickly hooks an arm around my waist.  "Easy," he murmurs, tightening his arm a little more than necessary.  I realize that I don't mind standing close to him, and I lean against him, tired and ready to take my shoes off.

The elevator is excruciatingly slow, and my eyelids are getting heavy as we wait.  When the doors finally open in front of us, it takes me a minute to react to Alex gently tugging me inside.  He leans against the back wall and I lean against his chest, wondering how I've never noticed how good he smells.  "Your room or mine?" he asks, as the elevator starts its equally slow ascent.

"Huh?" I ask, looking up at him in confusion.

"Are you going to brave your own room, or did you want to stay with me?"

"Fuck them," I reply.  "I'm not going in there.  I'll stay with you."  Alex chuckles and wraps his other arm around me too.  I relax against him until the elevator dings and stops.  He shifts me to his side and keeps one arm around my waist, and I briefly wonder if it's still to keep me steady, or if he has ulterior motives.  I'm still debating in my head if I have ulterior motives, when we arrive at his room.

He pulls open the door and sits on the edge of one of the beds.  He doesn't bother turning any of the overhead lights on, and there is only the lamp next to his bed keeping me from walking straight into the wall.  I immediately step out of my shoes and wiggle my toes happily.  Alex has taken off his shoes and untucked his shirt, and is struggling with his bowtie.  "Here," I say.  "Let me help."  I step over to him and quickly get it untied.  I leave it hanging from his neck and look up, suddenly acutely aware of how close we are to each other.  "Um," I stammer, "I don't have...I need..."

"I have an extra shirt and shorts you can wear," he says softly, picking up on what I'm not getting out of my mouth.

"Thanks," I reply.  Neither of us move, and we're both just staring at each other from inches away.  "Alex?" I whisper, letting my hand that was hovering near the end of his bowtie settle onto his chest.

"Yeah?" he answers, but I don't get a chance to reply because he's closed the tiny distance between us and he's kissing me.  His lips press against mine and then he's sucking gently on my bottom lip, sending a shiver up my spine.

For some reason, I pull away.  "Alex," I repeat, a little breathlessly.  He looks at me curiously.  "I..."  But then I don't know why I'm talking and not kissing him, and I kiss him again.  He grips my hips, pulling me tightly against him, and I can feel how badly he wants me.

His hands travel up my sides and one hand cups the back of my head while the other traces a path down my throat, over my collarbone, and to the edge of the neckline of my dress.  I start to unbutton his shirt as his hand continues on its path, grazing lightly over my breast, down my stomach, back across my hip and down my leg.  He pauses briefly at the hem of my dress before sliding his palm back up my leg, beneath my dress.

I moan softly into our kiss as his fingertips brush against my underwear, and he quickly pulls them down.  I kick them away as his fingers return to the spot where they had just been, only now there's nothing between his skin and mine.  I gasp as he makes contact with me, and I pull my lips from his so I can press my forehead against his shoulder.  He moves his fingers away and I groan in disappointment, but he quickly finds the zipper of my dress and soon it's joining my underwear on the floor.  I push his shirt off his shoulders and quickly go for his pants, tugging his belt off and shoving them down.

When we've finally gotten rid of the rest of our clothes, I lay back on the bed and he slides up next to me, his fingers running slowly up my leg.  I moan again as fingers return to where I so desperately want them.

We're so caught up in it that we almost forget a condom.  Alex remembers at the last second and jumps up, rifling through his bag.  I curse myself.  I'm usually a lot more careful.  This is why I don't get drunk.  I forget my thoughts as Alex returns and eases into me, and all I can think about is why haven't we done this sooner?

When we're done, laying next to each other, I briefly consider going back to my room.  Kinsley and Damien must be asleep by now, right?  But when Alex rolls onto his side and pulls me against him, I let myself relax and finally slip into the semi-drunk sleep that's been tugging at me for the last hour.

I wake up feeling surprisingly good.  A little bit of a headache, a dry mouth.  Other than that, I feel better than I deserve to.  I'm still basking in my self-congratulatory no-hangover haze when I remember the night before.  Oh, shit.  Shit, shit, shit.  What did I do?  I'm in Alex's room, in Alex's bed, and my clothes are scattered all over the room.  This is why I don't get drunk.

Alex's arm is flung over my back haphazardly.  I ease out from under it slowly, trying not to wake him up.  I'm successful, and I manage to get myself almost completely dressed before he stirs, rolling over to look at me.  "There's that brunch," I say softly, feeling a desperate need to provide an excuse for why I'm trying to sneak out of his room.  He nods and squints at the clock.  It's a little after 8.  I finished zipping up my dress.  My feet protest as I slide them back into my shoes from last night.  "I, um, need to go back to my room to get ready," I continue.  Why does this feel so weird?  Alex and I have known each other forever, it's a wonder we haven't ended up in this predicament sooner.

"Okay," he says, stifling a yawn.  I'm tired too, and I'm surprised to realize that I want nothing more than to crawl back into bed with Alex, and go back to sleep for a little while.  But I can't.  This shouldn't have happened.

"See you at brunch," I whisper, backing towards the door.  He nods and shuts his eyes as I turn and slip out.

The whole walk to my room I'm trying to figure out what I'll tell Kinsley and Damien.  Certainly not that I slept with Alex last night.  I finally settle on claiming that we left the reception so late that I didn't want to disturb them by coming in and getting ready for bed, so I just stayed in Alex's room.  In the other bed.  The other bed that didn't even get a second glance.  My hands are shaky as I push the keycard into the reader and the light flashes red the first time.  I take a deep breath and do it again, and this time the green light gives me entry into the room.

I celebrate silently when I find Kinsley and Damien still asleep.  I grab clothes out of my bag quickly so I can get in the shower and maybe pretend I was here the whole time.  By the time I emerge from the bathroom, clean and dressed, Kinsley and Damien are up.  "What time did you get back last night?" Kinsley asks me brightly.  "We didn't hear you come in."

"Um, I'm not sure actually," I lie.  "It was pretty late.  You guys were out cold!"

"I guess we were," Kinsley agrees.  I quickly distract them by filling them in on Savannah's antics that they missed the night before.  It does the trick, and no one cares about what time I (didn't) get in last night.

I'm nervous as we go down for brunch.  Will Alex say anything?  Will it be weird?  But when we see him, he smiles warmly the same way he always would have, and I relax a little.  The four of us are quickly chatting easily, and then Brody and Liv make it down and I fill Liv in on what happened the night before, after she and Brody left.  The Savannah stuff, I mean.  Not the me and Alex having drunk sex stuff.

As we head towards our rooms to get our stuff packed up and get checked out, Alex puts a hand on my arm.  "Keep me company on the way back?" he asks.  He drove himself up, and I rode with Kinsley and Damien.  I frantically rack my brain for an excuse to not ride with him, but I can't think of one, so I agree.  He smiles and heads for his room.

The hour long ride is awkward.  I can tell that Alex wants to talk about the night before, but I refuse to bring it up, and he doesn't either.  Instead, I ramble on about anything else that I can think of.  From time to time, I think I see a flash of irritation on Alex's face, but maybe I'm imagining it. 

I'm so relieved when Alex parks in front of my apartment complex.  "Let me help you bring your stuff up," he offers.

"I can get it," I reply quickly.

"Don't be stupid, Lauren," he says, turning off his car and rolling his eyes.  "I'll help you."  His tone isn't quite as light as it might usually be when says something like that, and I'm a little taken aback.  I exhale a long sigh and get out of the car.

We're silent as we walk up the stairs to my apartment.  I unlock the door and Alex sets my bag carefully on the floor inside the entryway.  "Thanks," I say softly, suddenly feeling very nervous.

"You're welcome," he replies.  "I'm always happy to help you, Lauren."  I had been looking at my bag, but when he says that, my eyes snap up to his.  He's staring at me, and his eyes are intense.  He looks like he wants to kiss me, and when his eyes flick down to my lips, it confirms my suspicions.

"Well," I say quickly, "I have lots of things to do today.  Thanks for the ride.  I'll see you Thursday?"

Disappointment flashes in his eyes and he takes a half a step back.  "Yeah.  I'll see you Thursday.  Bye, Laur."  Without waiting for me to say goodbye, he turns and walks out, pulling my door firmly shut behind him. 

Too Much Testosterone

I claimed I didn't have a Friday post ready, but I just finished it up.  So instead of waiting until next Friday, I'll post this post, the main storyline post I was going to post tomorrow, as a bonus today!  Tomorrow I have part 1 of the story of Lauren and Alex, which you have all been waiting so patiently for for a very long time.  I hope everyone had a safe and fun New Year's celebration!
____________________________________ 

On Saturday, Brody, Kinsley, Lauren, and I went to James's housewarming party.  I was still a little weirded out by James and Brody's budding friendship, but it was certainly better than the alternative.

"A plant?  I don't exactly have a green thumb..." James said, looking skeptically at the pot I offered him.

I grinned.  "Every house needs at least one plant.  And anyway, some people call this one a 'Mother-in-Law's Tongue.'  It's damn near impossible to kill."  He laughed and took the plant, thanking me.

Brody handed him the rest of our gift, a bottle of vodka.  "I bet this will kill it," he said, smirking at me.

"Sorry Liv, but this one is definitely a little more my style," James teased.  "Thank you guys.  Lauren and Kinsley are in the kitchen with Damien, but do you guys want the tour?"  James took us on a quick tour of the house, which was much larger and newer than his old place.  We ended in the kitchen, where Kinsley and Lauren were talking to Damien and another of James's friends.

We mingled, meeting some of James's other friends, and enjoyed the casual get together for awhile.  We ended up being some of the last people there, and Kinsley, Lauren, Damien, Brody, James, and I were standing in the kitchen again when the door opened and a loud voice called out, "Having a party without me?"  I froze, my head craned in the direction of the door that I couldn't see.

James jumped up from where he was leaning against the counter and hurried towards the door, throwing a quick, worried glance towards me and Brody on the way.   Brody looked at me, confused for a second, but then recognition dawned on him.

"Jordan, what are you doing here?" we heard James say.  My legs felt untrustworthy and I leaned back against the counter to steady myself.  The other sounds in the room faded away and all I could hear was Jordan's voice.  I squeezed my eyes shut and sucked in a deep breath, trying to fight the panicky feeling that was rising.

Brody took a step towards the door, but Damien casually moved into the doorway.  "Come on, man, you don't want to go out there," he said, calmly.

Brody regarded him, fingers curling into fists, as we heard James and Jordan's raised voices from the entry.  "I do, though," he replied, his voice deadly calm.  "Get out of my way."

"Why?" Damien asked.  "So you can go break his nose again?"  He leaned against the doorframe and easily met Brody's gaze.  He didn't seem at all intimidated by the couple of inches Brody had on him. 

Brody stepped forward again and growled,  "I only did what James should have done the first time that piece of shit put his hands on Liv."  The sound of my name snapped out of my anxious daze and I walked over to Brody.

"Brody," I said quietly, putting my hand on his arm.  "Don't bother, it's not worth it."  He didn't reply.

"Let's go outside," Damien suggested.  Brody looked from the direction of the door to me.  "Liv can come too.  Actually, we'll all go."

"Come on," I said.  I slid my hand down his arm and wrapped it around his clenched fist.  I squeezed gently before working my fingers between his.  His hand released and wrapped around mine but he didn't move.  "Brody," I pleaded softly.  "Please."  He looked down at me, then he turned towards the back door.  I breathed a sigh of relief as we all moved outside to the deck.

Damien stopped just outside the door, leaning casually against the wall.  I knew he was there to try to stop Brody if he changed his mind. It was chilly and I shivered as I stepped to the railing and leaned against it, trying to stop my legs from trembling.  Brody wrapped his arms tightly around me from behind.  Even now,  I could feel that all his muscles were tense, like he was still ready to fight.  I slid one hand up his sleeve and gently stroked his wrist with my fingertips.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly in my ear.  I nodded and leaned my head back against his chest.  I felt the taut muscles in his arms relax incrementally as he rested his chin on the top of my head.

When the door opened, we all turned to look.  It was James, and he was alone.  "You get him out?" Damien asked.

"I got him passed out in bed.  He's drunk as hell," James reported, rubbing his hand over his short hair.  He looked over to me and Brody.  "I'm sorry, Liv.  He wasn't invited.  I don't know why he even came here."

I shrugged as best as I could with Brody's arms wrapped around me.  "It's okay, thanks for dealing with him."  Brody remained silent, and I was thankful for that.  "I do think we'll probably go, though," I continued.

James nodded.  "I don't blame you."

We walked back inside, and I put a hand on James's arm as everyone else walked towards the door.  When we were alone in the kitchen I said, "Are you okay?"

He laughed.  "I should be asking you that."  When I didn't reply, he sighed.  "I don't know, Liv.  His drinking is getting out of hand.  He's out of control when he's drunk.  I'm pretty fed up with him."

"I'm sorry," I said with a grimace.  "That's so tough."

He shook his head.  "I'll talk to him tomorrow.  I'm really sorry."

Brody appeared in the doorway.  "Ready, Liv?" he asked.  He glanced briefly at James, but didn't address him.

"Yeah, I'm coming," I replied.  I gave James a quick hug and walked over to Brody.  He took my hand as we walked out.  We said goodbye and headed to my car.  We were quiet as I drove us back to my house, and I wondered if something besides Jordan appearing was bothering him. 

I went straight to my bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth.  When I came out, Brody went in.  I laid down in bed and waited for him.  When Brody got into bed next to me, he immediately moved over against my back.  "I love you, Liv," he said, as we wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer.

"I love you too," I replied.  "Are you done being all weird?"  He was quiet for a long time.  "Brody?"

"This wouldn't have happened if I was here," he said, finally.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, confused.

"If I hadn't gone to Miami," he replied.  "If I had been here the whole time, you never would have dated James and you'd never have met Jordan."

I lifted his arm off of me and rolled over to face him.  "Are you seriously blaming yourself for this?  Brody, you had to go to Miami.  And anyway, it wasn't that big of a deal."

"That's not true," he argued, pushing a piece of hair out of my face.  "I know what happened.  I can guess what else might have happened if James didn't happen to find you guys when he did.  I saw the bruise on your arm, and more importantly, I see how freaked out you are when we run into him."

"Yes," I agreed.  "The whole thing sucked, and it was scary, and my preference would be to never see Jordan again.  But it could have been a lot worse, and it wasn't.  And even when you are here, you can't protect me from all the bad things in the world."

"I can try," he said stubbornly.  I sighed and slid closer to him, pushing my fingers into his hair.  There was no point in arguing with an overprotective man.  Instead, I kissed him. 

"Why don't you put all that testosterone to better use?" I asked, wrapping one of my legs around his.  He rolled on top of me and kissed me hard, nudging my legs apart with his knee.  He pulled the flimsy straps of my thin tank top down and lowered his head, grazing his teeth gently across one breast.  I arched up against him and reached down for his shorts.  He grabbed both of my arms by the wrists and pinned them up by my ears, then kissed me gently.  The contrast of my pinned arms and the tender kiss drove me mad, and I pressed my hips against his and nipped at his bottom lip.

He shifted back and pulled off my shorts and then his own.  Then he lowered his head between my legs and I moaned as his lips and tongue moved over my skin.  I tried to pull him back up to me, but he was clearly on a mission and he didn't stop until I cried out.  He slid his hand up my trembling leg as he kissed his way back up my body.  I grabbed his arms and pulled him up, desperate to have him inside of me.

I guided him into me and he pushed slowly against me.  I arched my back and wrapped my legs around him, pulling him hard into me.  He got the hint and drove into me fast, causing me to gasp and dig my fingers into his arms.  By the time we were finished, we were both sweaty and breathless.  I curled against his side, my fingers absently trailing across across his chest and stomach.  "I needed that," I muttered.

Brody kissed the top of my head and pushed my damp hair back.  "That makes two of us," he replied with a laugh, stroking my shoulder gently.  "I feel a whole lot better now."

"Does that mean you're not going to protect me from the monster under the bed?" I teased.

"That monster doesn't stand a chance," he boasted.  I laughed.  "Seriously though, Liv, I protect the people I love.  I can't help it.  I know you don't want to be protected so I'll try to keep it reasonable, but I can't just stop."

"I get it," I said.  "And I guess that it's not the end of the world to have such a dedicated bodyguard, but I appreciate you trying to keep it reasonable." 

"It'll be tough, considering there's nothing reasonable about how much I love you," he said softly, squeezing my arm gently.

"There's nothing reasonable about me, so it makes sense," I joked, always ready to ruin a sappy moment.

"That's for sure," Brody agreed with a chuckle.  I yawned and snuggled into him.

"I love you unreasonably too," I managed, before drifting off to sleep.