(Now) Savannah: The Apology

"Seriously?" I asked Kendra, rolling my eyes at her and huffing out a frustrated breath.  I was beyond irritated that she had just asked me if I'd be able to leave Olivia and Brody alone at the wedding.  "What do you think I am, an immature child?"

"Sometimes, yes," Kendra replied evenly.  "It's my wedding, Savannah.  The last thing I need is a scene.  And if you're the cause of it, how will that look?  You're a bridesmaid."

"No one there cares about me anyway," I muttered.  I sounded like a snotty, spoiled brat, but I didn't even care.

Kendra rolled her eyes.  "You should try apologizing then."

I'd had just about enough of this.  "Apologizing for what?  I didn't know that everything would happen."

She just looked at me pointedly.  It was clear she didn't believe that at all.  I glared back at her.  Kendra was supposed to be one of my best friends, but now I didn't even get invited over when she had people at her house, because Brody and Olivia got their stupid little feelings hurt.

"Look," Kendra said, her voice a bit gentler now, "They're happy now.  If you could just apologize and stay out of their relationship, maybe people would be okay with you coming back and hanging out sometimes." 

"Whatever, I'll think about it," I responded, before changing the subject.  And I did think about it.  I thought about how sorry I wasn't.  It's not my fault their budding relationship couldn't survive a short trip to Miami.  And anyway, it didn't seem like Olivia had even been too broken up about it.  She certainly didn't waste any time moving on, from what I heard.

But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was pretty miserable since the happy couple had gotten back together and that fucking stupid bitch Allie had ratted me out.  (She was going to pay for that, by the way.)  I no longer had Allie, and I couldn't hang out with Kendra most of the time.  No one else really liked me in that stupid little group, but they tolerated me at least, and it was worth it to see Brody.

So a week later, I walked into the bar where they were all doing their stupid happy hour and scanned the tables.  I spotted Kendra and walked over.  I needed to tell her that I wasn't able to get the Friday of the rehearsal dinner off.  she already knew I probably couldn't, so I could have just called her, but I needed an excuse to run into Olivia and Brody.  I cringed inwardly at the thought of them thinking that I wanted to apologize to them, but that was what manipulation was all about....letting other people think they have the upper hand.

I sat down and filled Kendra in, and we chatted for a few minutes.  I said hi to Alex and Lauren and Christian, but neither Olivia nor Brody were there.  I waited for close to 15 minutes but then I couldn't stick around any longer without looking suspicious.  I walked out, irritated that I had wasted my time.

***

I hate weddings.  But this wedding was giving me an excuse to stare at Brody in a tux, so it was probably the best wedding I've ever been to.  I frowned when I saw Olivia, Lauren, Kinsley, and some guy walk over towards him.   I felt a huge stab of jealousy when I watched Brody's eyes travel appreciatively up and down Olivia's body, and a second stab when he kissed her, briefly but tenderly.

My teeth ground on their own as I watched them.  Everything about their body language screamed that they were in love, from the way she leaned in to beam up at him to his hand resting lightly on her hip, where it had been since the second she was within his reach.  It was a vaguely possessive gesture, as if he was worried that everyone else would appreciate her dress as much as he seemed to (it was actually a really great dress, but she ruined it with her cheap-looking shoes). 

"Savannah!"  I turned, snapping out of my jealous daze.  Kendra's sister, Nikki, was looking at me impatiently.  "We need to go.  What are you even looking at?"

"Nothing important," I muttered, following after her.

The wedding was nice enough, but it was hard to pay attention standing in the stupidly uncomfortable shoes that Kendra made us wear.  I guess some people can't afford to pay a lot for shoes, but I think it's worth it so you don't feel like you're standing on broken glass after 15 minutes.  But of course, no one asked me.

I was seated at a table with a bunch of acquaintances from college, and dinner was painfully boring and uncomfortable.   I humored one of the guys who was blatantly hitting on me, because it helped me pass the time.  The whole time, I kept one eye on the table that contained Brody and Olivia.  I was irritated with myself for caring so much, but I thought maybe I could catch them at a good time and throw out my apology.

My chance came when I saw them walk out onto the patio together, a couple hours after dinner.  I hastily excused myself from...Chris?  Craig?  I can't even remember.  Anyway, I stepped quickly out onto the patio behind them, rehearsing my apology in my head.

Liv was hostile right off the bat, which surprised me.  I honestly didn't think she had it in her.  It threw off my plan, which left me a little irritated.  But I was even more surprised by Brody's response.  Even though his voice was calm, I could tell he was pissed and didn't want anything to do with my apology.

I got annoyed really quickly at their united self-righteous insistence that I was out to ruin people's lives, one unsuspecting victim at a time.  Could they be any more dramatic?  It was almost as bad as listening to Mother rant about how the poor people are responsible for all the bad things in the world. I lost my cool pretty quickly, and I knew this wasn't going to work.  So when Brody told me to leave, I was happy to.

I nearly ran over one of Kendra's cousins or something, and then I walked right into Chris/Craig/whoever as I came back in.  He nearly spilled his drink but quickly recovered to walk with me towards the bar.  I patronized him for about one and a half more drinks, and then I left abruptly for the dance floor.  I danced with some of the other wedding party members, and then everything after that is a little bit blurry.

I woke up in my hotel room, still in my bridesmaid dress.  My head was sore from sleeping on the bobby pins that were shoved into my scalp.  As I sat up, I realized I even still had one stupid, uncomfortable shoe on.  I shook it off and quickly laid back down.  The last time I had been this hungover was at Brody's cabin over the 4th of July weekend.

I looked at the clock, and saw that it was only a little after 8.  I needed to be down at brunch at 10.  I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to piece together the night.  I remembered talking to Brody and Olivia, then dancing.  I remembered dancing with Kendra's brother, Nick...  The rest of the night came rushing back to me as soon as I remembered dancing with, and trying to kiss, Nick.  I groaned to myself.  Maybe I'd skip brunch.

I went back to sleep, but woke up to my phone trilling shrilly a bit later.  I dug it out of my clutch and answered.  "I don't care how awful you feel, don't even think about skipping brunch," came Kendra's sister's voice.

"I doubt anyone actually wants me there," I croaked.

"That's probably true," she agreed, "But you'll be there anyway."  Then she hung up.  Bossy bitch.  I hauled myself out of bed and into the shower.  After fighting the urge to throw up, and then to pass out, I managed to get clean.  I pulled on some clothes and choked down some aspirin and half a bottle of water.

I stuck to myself and kept my head down during brunch.  I didn't eat much and as soon as it was socially acceptable, I went up to my room to pack my stuff up so I could get the hell out of here.  I was just about to leave when someone knocked on my door.

I pulled it open and saw Kendra standing there.  Thinking fast, I smiled and said, "Happy first full day of being a married lady!"

She glared and me and shouldered her way into the room, shoving the door shut behind her.  Shit.  "What in the fuck is your problem?" she snapped.  I forced myself to keep my face neutral.  Kendra hardly ever swore.

"Umm...." I offered weakly.

"Yeah.  I'd be speechless too if I were you.  You said you could behave.  And then you went and caused conflict with Olivia and Brody, tried to kiss my brother, and threw up all over the floor.  So fucking classy, Savannah."

"You're the one that told me I should apologize to Olivia and Brody!" I protested.

Kendra just stared at me for several seconds.  "Are you serious?  I didn't mean at my wedding.  And it didn't seem like a very effective apology."  She paused, waiting for me to defend myself.  But if there's one thing I learned growing up with Mother, it's when to keep my mouth shut.  This was a good time for that.  Eventually Kendra sighed.  "Everyone else is right.  I just kept giving you the benefit of the doubt but I'm done.  This friendship is done, Savannah.  The first thing you should have done when you opened that door was apologize, but all you can do is try to blame it on me."  And with that, she turned and walked out.

I sat down on the bed, fighting the urge to spit a nasty name after her.  I considered her final words.  Apologizing hadn't even occurred to me.  I thought about that for a couple minutes.  For some people, apologizing was an automatic thing.  But in my world, it just didn't happen.  Growing up in my home, apologizing seemed more like a sign of weakness than something you were supposed to do.  I thought a little longer, and realized that the only person I could think of ever apologizing to me was Brody.  And I had been so caught off guard when he had done it, so long ago, that I had reacted with hostility.

I sighed and grabbed my bag.  I wasn't fully convinced that Kendra was done with me.  She just needed a break.  In the meantime, maybe I can let Allie apologize for ratting me out.  Keep your enemies closer, right? 

Long Overdue

It was nice to wake up because the sun was shining my eyes, and not because Brody's phone was ringing.  I shifted and adjusted the blanket, and Brody's arm snaked around my waist, pulling me close.  "Morning, beautiful," he murmured sleepily into my hair.  "Let's stay here."

"Forever?" I asked.  "Okay, sold."

"Well, yeah, that too, but I meant today.  Let's stay one more night."

I rolled over to face him.  "But what about work tomorrow?" I asked him, confused.  "I thought you weren't going to take tomorrow off."

"I'm not," he said with a shrug.  "I can go in in the afternoon after we get back.  We can explore town today, maybe drive into the park a little.  We can leave after breakfast tomorrow so you still have time to job search and I can go into work for a little while at least.  I'll turn my phone on long enough to send an email letting them know when I'll be in, but after brunch today I'll be all yours."  I realized this was his way of making up for all the time he'd spent interrupting our dates for work the past couple weeks, and I appreciated it.

I smiled.  "Okay!  Let's do it."  He rolled over and grabbed the room phone.  He called down to the front desk and requested to keep our room for one more night.  A couple minutes later, he hung up.

"It's ours until tomorrow," he reported.  "What time is brunch?"  Christian's parents were hosting a day-after brunch this morning at 10.  I told him that, and glanced at the clock.  It was almost 9.   "Why don't you go ahead and shower.  I'll send my emails while you're in the shower."

We walked out of the elevator a couple minutes before 10.  Lauren waved us over.  She looked at me curiously.  "I heard you and Savannah got into it last night," she whispered.

"Good news travels fast," I said, rolling my eyes.  I filled her in on the details.  She shook her head.

"What a clueless bitch," she said.  "I hate her."

"Join the club, it's not terribly exclusive."

Lauren grinned wickedly at me.  "So, after you guys left, she got shitshow drunk, tried to make out with Kendra's brother, and then threw up all over the floor outside the bathroom.  It was ridiculous.  I think Kendra was mostly unaware, but Christian had to have Kendra's brother and sister practically carry Savannah out."

I stared at her, then laughed.  "I shouldn't laugh, because that's awful for Christian and Kendra, but she really is a disaster, huh?"  Lauren nodded. 

A very rough looking Savannah stayed away from us during brunch, and it was actually quite pleasant.  After brunch, Lauren, Alex, Damien, and Kinsley were heading out.  We said goodbye and spent the rest of the morning exploring the downtown area.  We had a light, late lunch at a cafe, then drove into Rocky Mountain National Park.  We pulled up to an overlook and got out.  Brody put his arm around my waist as we looked out over a beautiful valley.

"Are you going home for Thanksgiving?" he asked suddenly.

I shook my head.  "No, I wasn't planning on going home until Christmas," I replied.

"What are you going to do?" he asked.

"I hadn't really thought about it.  I guess just enjoy a four day weekend, maybe eat a turkey sandwich." I shrugged.

"Come with me then," he said.  "I'm going to my mom's house.  She doesn't really do a traditional dinner like you're probably used to, but there will be plenty of food."

"Oh," I said, surprised.  "I don't want to impose."  I wasn't sure what to say.  I didn't love the idea of celebrating Thanksgiving alone at my house, but it was less than two weeks away and I had no other plans.  And I was really curious to meet Brody's family.  I know he had one sister and one brother, plus the sister that had been killed in the accident, and that his parents were divorced and his dad was an asshole, but other than that, he really didn't talk about them much.  Then again, I tended to completely bomb my first impression when meeting the parents, and the thought of meeting Brody's entire family for the first time on a holiday was a little terrifying.

"Don't be ridiculous.  My mom will be over the moon to have a new person to feed.  And she always makes enough to feed the entire city, so it's not like she'll even have to make extra food.  I don't want you to be alone on Thanksgiving."  He tightened his arms around me as a breeze blew through and I shivered.

"Okay," I agreed.  "I'd like that."

He smiled.  "I love you Liv, and my family will too."

"I love you too, and I sure hope so!" I replied.

We spent the rest of the day driving through the park, looking for wildlife.  My life was pretty much made when we spotted a moose laying in the snow.  It was long dark by the time we made it back into town.  We found a place to get dinner and were soon heading back to the hotel.  I changed into sweatpants and curled up against Brody, who was sitting on the bed, leaning against the headboard.

"Thank you," I said softly.

"For what?" he asked, wrapping an arm around me and stroking my shoulder.

"For today.  It was perfect.  It was so nice to spend the day with you without interruptions, and it means a lot to me."

"It was nice," he agreed.  "We should probably do it more often."  I looked up at him and made a face.  He laughed.  "I know, I know," he said.  "I'll make it happen."  I yawned and rested my head back against his chest.  He ran his fingers through my hair and I closed my eyes.  My hand slid under the hem of his shirt and rested against the hard muscles there.  I yawned again.  "It's only 10," he teased.

"I know, but you've kept me up late the last two nights," I replied.

"I've kept you up late?  Well, if that's the problem, don't let me stop you from getting your beauty rest tonight," he said with a laugh.  I dragged myself off the bed and brushed my teeth and washed my face.  When I came out of the bathroom, Brody was searching through his bag.   I made myself comfortable while he brushed his teeth, and was almost asleep by the time he came out.  He slid into bed next to me and his fingers found my back.  They slid back and forth over my spine a few times before stilling, resting lightly on my lower back.

When I woke up, his hand was still on me, but now it was draped across my forearm.  I smiled.  Rarely did I ever wake up with him without him touching me somehow.  I wondered if he did it unconsciously in his sleep.  His fingers twitched as I pulled my arm away to roll onto my side.  He looked so young while he was sleeping.  Not that he was old, by any means.  But even his 30 to my 26 was a bigger age difference than I had ever dated.

I slid quietly out of bed, grabbed clothes, and went into the bathroom.  When I came out showered, dressed, and made up, Brody wasn't there.  For a second, I thought he had tried to sneak out for a work call, but then I saw his phone laying in his bag.  When he came back in with coffee for both of us from downstairs, I felt guilty for even thinking  he was off breaking his promise.  So far, he'd been nothing but amazing in every other way, so if a few phone calls during dinner was the price to pay for that, it shouldn't piss me off so much.  When did I become so needy?

Brody asked me to find somewhere to eat breakfast while he showered, so after I packed up my stuff, I flopped in the chair and searched Yelp on my phone.  I found a few good options, wondering how people found places to eat before smartphones and Yelp and Urban Spoon.  But when Brody came out of the bathroom wearing only a towel around his hips, I quickly forgot about breakfast. 

"How much time do we have before checkout?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

Brody grinned and looked behind him at the clock.  "Two hours, but if we take that long, we'll need to change breakfast to lunch."

"The faster you lose that towel, the better chance of us being out of here in time for breakfast," I responded.

"You have way more clothing on than me," he pointed out as he stepped over to me.  With one hand he pulled me to my feet, and with the other he pushed his towel to the floor. 

An hour later we were walking out to the car, checked out and ready to leave.  We ate a delicious, leisurely breakfast at a little restaurant in town before starting the drive back to the city.  The drive went quickly, and before I knew, we had pulled up in front of my townhouse.  Brody parked and grabbed my bag out of the back.  He set it down inside after I had unlocked my door.

He pulled me into a tight hug.  I hugged him back, resting my head against his chest.  "When do I get to see you again?" he asked.

"Dinner on Wednesday?" I suggested.

"I guess I can wait that long," he responded with a smile.  "Can I spend the night after?  It'll be easier than going all the way home that night and all the way back into town in the morning for work."  I nodded.  "Alright, I guess I should get to work before the place burns down.  I had a really great weekend.  I love you."  He kissed me and when he pulled back I told him I loved him and he left.

I spent the rest of the day doing laundry and writing cover letters.  I applied for 5 jobs and felt pretty productive by the time I threw a frozen pizza in the oven for dinner.   As I was getting ready for bed, my phone vibrated.  The text was from Brody and said, "Miss you already.  Sleep well, beautiful."  

Wedding Bells and False Apologies

I woke early the next morning to the sound of Brody's phone ringing.  I groaned and squinted at the clock.  6:19.  Ugh.  Next to me, Brody rolled out of bed, yanked on a pair of shorts, and answered the phone.  He moved quietly out into the hallway. 

I drifted back into sleep, but woke when I felt Brody slip back into bed next to me.  I looked at the clock again.  Nearly 7.  Quite the phone call.  He laid next to me and put his arm around my waist.  "Sorry," he whispered into my hair.  I didn't say anything, but I leaned back into him.

I had just fallen back asleep when his phone rang again.  "Shit," he muttered, getting up and walking out the door with it.  Now I was irritated.  It was 7:30 in the morning, on a Saturday when he was supposed to be off, and he'd already taken two calls.  He had promised me no phone calls this weekend.  I was awake at this point and I laid there waiting for him to come back, stewing.  The longer he took, the more irritated I got.

When he came back in almost 30 minutes later, I was fuming.  I got up and rifled through my overnight bag, then pulled on shorts and a t-shirt.  "Liv, I'm really sorry," Brody said.  I just stalked into the bathroom.  I washed my face and brushed my teeth, hoping I'd feel calmer when I was done.  I didn't.

I came back out, avoiding his gaze.  I walked over to the desk and grabbed my phone from where it was charging and started scrolling absently through.  "You know, for a therapist, you're pretty awful at telling people how you're feeling," he said shortly.  I whipped around to look at him.  It was absolutely true, but it still stung to have it brandished like a weapon at me.  He saw my face and his angry glare softened.  "I'm sorry," he said, a little more gently.  "But if you're pissed at me, just tell me you're pissed at me."

"I'm not pissed at you," I snapped back.  He raised his eyebrows and gave me a skeptical look.  "I'm not," I insisted.  "I'm really fucking irritated, but I'm not pissed. If I were pissed, I wouldn't be standing here talking to you."

"Okay," he said, then nodded for me to go on.

"You promised me that there would be no work this weekend.  And you've already been on the phone for over an hour!  It's barely 8 in the morning.  This sucks."  I punctuated the words with a heavy sigh.  I was still standing by the desk, and I realized I was gripping the top of the desk chair so hard my hand hurt.  I let go and gently flexed my fingers.

"You're right," he replied.  "I'm sorry.  I did promise you no work, and I haven't kept that promise.  I'm still trying to get a handle on running this company by myself, and you're suffering for it."  He was right.  I couldn't remember a lunch or dinner that hadn't been interrupted by his phone in the last two weeks.  It rang unfathomably late at night and early in the morning.  And he answered every call.  Most of me knew that that was the price for dating someone who owned his own business, but the rest of me was really tired of it already.  I had tried to be patient with it, because I knew Brody was working his ass off and was seriously shorthanded, but apparently I had let it build up too long. 

I continued to glare at him, but I felt my anger fading.  "After I got off that last call, I called Pete.  He's going to take care of anything else that comes up this weekend," Brody assured me.  Now it was my turn to give him a skeptical look.  "Look," he said, holding up his phone.  He depressed the power button and held it until the phone turned off.  Then he held it out to me.  "All yours."   I looked at the phone for a minute but then shook my head.

"I believe you," I said, my shoulders dropping as my tensed muscles relaxed.

He smiled and tossed the phone into his bag.  "Good," he replied, walking over to me.  He wrapped his arms around me and I let him pull me against his chest.

"Sorry I was a jerk," I said, my voice muffled.

"I'm sorry too," he replied.  "And I promise I will work on balancing things better."  He pushed his hand through my hair, massaging my scalp at the base of my skull.  I sighed against his chest as his hand moved lower, kneading the tense muscles in my neck.   "Why don't we blow off breakfast?" he suggested.  We had made plans the night before to eat with some of the others in the lodge's restaurant.  "We can order room service and eat here."

"I like that idea," I said.  We looked at the room service menu and Brody called in our order.

After he hung up, he looked at me and said, "They said about 40 minutes."

"Hmmm," I responded, grinning.  "We can do a lot of making up in 40 minutes!"

"You are unbelievable," he said, looking surprised.  "I don't know if I've ever met a woman I can't keep up with.  You might be the one."

"Don't worry," I said, pushing him back on the bed. "I'll do all the work this time."

We finished "making up" just a few minutes before breakfast arrived, so Brody had to scramble to pull on a pair of shorts and answer the door.  I'm sure the female employee delivering our food didn't mind his lack of a shirt though; I wouldn't have. 

We ate our breakfast and were lazy in bed until Brody had to get ready for pictures.  Since he was just an usher, they weren't making him be there for all the picture time, but did want him there for some.  I continued to lay in bed reading while he showered and shaved and got dressed.  I got up and plucked a loose thread from the back of his jacket as he adjusted his bow tie.  "I really hate these things," he complained.

"But you look so hot," I protested.  He looked at his watch and turned and kissed me quickly.

"Gotta go," he said.  "I'll see you for the ceremony."

After he left, I showered and got ready slowly.  As much as it sucked arguing with him, I was glad we had talked.  I wish I could have just told him my feelings about his job and the phone calls sooner, but he was right--I sucked at that stuff.  I was just pinning the last piece of hair in place when my phone vibrated with a text from Kinsley letting me know that she, Damien, and Lauren were there.  I felt a sudden surge of anxiety about seeing Damien.  I hadn't seen him since James and I stopped seeing each other, and I was certain it would be weird.

I texted back that I would be right down.  I took one last look at myself in the mirror, and satisfied, I grabbed my wristlet, shoved my phone and the room key in, and headed for the elevator.  I spotted them right away when the elevator opened and walked over. 

"Look at you, hot stuff!" Kinsley exclaimed, hugging me.

"You actually clean up quite nicely too," I said back with a grin.  I greeted Lauren and turned to Damien.  "Hi," I said shyly.  To my relief, he smiled broadly back.

"Hey, how have you been?" he asked.  I told him I had been good and asked him the same.  We made small talk as we walked over to the room where the ceremony was to be held.  As we approached, Kinsley touched my arm.  I looked in the direction she motioned and saw Savannah.  I frowned, but before I could say anything, Lauren interrupted.

"Wow, Brody and Alex do the tux thing quite well, huh?"  Alex was the other usher.  I looked over near the door of the room and grinned.  We walked over towards them.

Brody saw me and raised his eyebrows.  He kissed me on the cheek and then said, "Wow, you look amazing."  His eyes traveled appreciatively over my dress, down my legs, and back up until he met my eyes.  His green eyes sparkled as he leaned towards me and kissed me again, lightly on the lips.  He then turned to Damien.  "How's it going?" he asked, extending his hand.  Damien shook it and returned the greeting.

Brody led our small group to seats inside a huge, gorgeous room.  He promised that he and Alex would join us before the ceremony and walked back to the door.  The room had high, vaulted ceilings and a large stone fireplace sat directly in front of us, between two giant picture windows overlooking the same view we had from our room.

The wedding ceremony was beautiful, and timed perfectly so the sun set over the mountains as they were saying their vows.  After, we all moved to the next room, a perfectly decorated ballroom, for the reception.  Kendra had been kind enough to not seat Savannah with us, and I spotted her at a table on the other side of the ballroom, sitting with people that I assumed were her and Kendra's friends from college.  I wondered if she was as awful around them as she was around us.  Or if any of them actually liked her. 

After eating, dancing, and drinking a little too much, I found myself a feeling a bit lightheaded.  I walked back to the table, where Brody, Damien, Alex, Lauren, and Kendra's brother were all sitting at the moment.   "I'm going out on the patio for a little fresh air," I said to Brody.  "Do you want to come?"  He nodded and stood up.  He grabbed his jacket and walked towards the door with me.  Alex and Lauren didn't even look up from whatever conversation they were having.

It was freezing outside, and I was grateful when Brody draped his jacket over my shoulders and wrapped his arms around me.  I leaned back into him and stared out at the mountains.  He kissed the top of my head.  Neither of us heard the door to the patio open, but we both turned when we heard heels clicking towards us.

"Hi," Savannah said, tentatively.

"What do you want?" I spat.  I had no desire to have a conversation with her.

"To apologize," she said.

I snorted.  "I don't want to hear it," I replied, turning away.  Brody squeezed my shoulder as Savannah walked closer.  He still hadn't said anything.

"Seriously, I'm really sorry.  I didn't mean...well, I didn't mean for everything to happen," she said lamely.

"Really, Savannah?" Brody asked.  His voice was quiet, but I recognized the controlled anger in his words.  "You didn't mean for someone to get fired?  You didn't mean for me to waste two months of my life cleaning up the mess in Miami?  You didn't mean to potentially end me and Olivia's relationship?"

She didn't say anything for several seconds.  I was still facing away from her, not interested in anything she had to say.  I pulled Brody's jacket tighter around me as the wind picked up again.  "Well, shit happens," she said coldly.  Seriously?  I thought she came to apologize.

I whirled back around.  "Shit like that doesn't just happen, Savannah," I said, spitting her name out like a curse.  "Shit like that happens when you start fucking around with people's lives."

Now she was angry too.  "Fucking around with people's lives?  Oh please.  You must have an awfully high opinion of me to think I'm capable of controlling the lives of at least 3 people.  Grow up.  Sometimes people make moves that make things happen. Sometimes those things are bad.  That's the way the world works."

I took a step towards her.  Brody put a hand on my arm and whispered something to me, but I was completely focused on Savannah.  "You have a seriously fucked up view of the world if you think that that's the way it actually works."  My hands clenched into fists at my sides as I seethed.  Brody put both hands on my shoulders and squeezed them gently.

"Get out of here," he said to Savannah.  His voice was still quiet, but I could tell the anger was starting to bubble up more.  "We're not interested in your half-assed apologies and even if we were, this isn't the place."  She rolled her eyes, and I clenched my teeth, determined not to feed into her anymore.

"Whatever, you guys enjoy each other while it lasts," she said.  She tossed her hair and strode back into the reception room.  

"I fucking hate her," I hissed.  Brody rubbed my arms and sighed.

"I know," he said.  "She's unbelievable."

"I need to walk," I declared.  He took my hand and we walked along the path around the lodge.  I walked fast, the clicking of my heels ringing out on the concrete.

"Slow down, if you break an ankle and we have to spend the night in the ER, you won't be able to show me those other ways we can use my bow tie," he said with a smirk.

"Oh?  I thought I've worn you out this weekend," I said back, starting to relax.

He shrugged.  "I've had some time to recover.  And that dress is amazing, even covered with my jacket.  I'm not sure I heard any of the wedding ceremony because I was too busy staring at your legs."

"Well then, why are we wasting time out here?" I pulled him towards the door to the hotel.   We stopped back at the reception so I could grab my purse and to say goodnight, and then we booked it up to our room.

"So," he said with a mischievous grin, dangling his untied bow tie in front of me.  "Tell me how to make this useful." 

(Then) Kinsley

I survived the rest of the semester with Michael...barely.  We had sex three more times, too.  Two were anger-fueled like the first two, and the third was just a random booty call.  Guess what?  The random booty call wasn't as awesome as the angry sex.

Then I started dating Troy.  Our relationship was really fun in the beginning.  We had a lot in common and pretty good chemistry.  The sex wasn't mind-blowing, but it was good, and frequent.  And then it wasn't.  I mean, it was still frequent.  But it wasn't as good.  And it was really the only thing we did.  We stopped going out.  And I didn't feel very connected to him.

I ended up breaking up with him just shy of the day that would have marked 4 months together.  School was almost over for the year anyway.  He took it well, which pissed me off a little.  I don't know why, but when I break up with someone, I feel better if they're at least a little upset.  But, with the way things had been going, his reaction made sense.

I ran into Michael as I was coming into our apartment building, just after breaking up with Troy.  "Hey, Kins," he said with a smirk.  I just glared at him.  I was tired of telling him not to call me that.  He seemed surprised when I didn't snap back and asked, almost sincerely, "You okay?"

"Fine, thanks for your concern," I said sarcastically.  I turned and headed for the stairs.  "What are you, a lost puppy?" I snapped, seeing him follow me.

"Nah, you're clearly all pissed off, so I thought I'd offer my services as punching bag.  Literally, this time, seeing as you have that boyfriend ruining my fun now."

And that was where I made my first mistake.  "Actually, there's no boyfriend anymore."

"Sorry to hear that," he said, and this time he did sound sincere.  "Recent?"

Mistake #2:  "Yeah, if 15 minutes ago counts as recent."  Now I really had his attention.

He continued to follow me up the stairs.  "Well, then I guess you can use me however you want."  I didn't even bother to reply, but I also didn't try to stop him from following me.  In our bizarre relationship, that was the easiest it's ever been for him to get into my apartment.

Once we were in the apartment, though, I didn't really feel like doing anything but flopping onto my couch.  And that's exactly what I did.  "Kate at work?" Michael asked, looking around.  I nodded.  He sat on the other end of the couch and surprised me by asking if I wanted to talk about it.

I gave him a weird look.  "Not to you," I replied.

"Believe it or not, I'm actually a pretty good listener," he said back with a shrug.  "You're just too busy hating me to find out."

"There's really not even anything to talk about," I insisted.  "We were fine, and then we weren't.  The sex sucked.  There was no connection.  I'm not even that upset about it, it's just been a shitty week."

"Do you ever have a connection with anyone?" he asked, rolling his eyes.

I sat up.  "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I snapped.

"Exactly what it sounds like it means.  Who's your best friend here?"

"Kate," I answered automatically.

"And is it because you like her that much, or because you live with her?"

Now I was getting pissed.  "How dare you come into my apartment and criticize my relationships!"

"It's not your fault," he continued.  "I mean, hell, look at your family.  Your mom was pretty depressed, don't you think?  I bet you never really felt super connected to her.  And your dad worked so much.  It's no wonder you have a hard time with it now."

He was so matter-of-fact, and even though I was seething, he had a point.  My mom had been depressed for most of my childhood and we didn't have a very good relationship.  She had never been nurturing or into doing things with me. My dad spent so much time at work to avoid dealing with her, and I was the collateral damage.  Most of my childhood friendships were fleeting and I was so used to playing by myself that I didn't really care.  My longest relationship so far has lasted 7 months, and that was probably in part because it was long distance.  That works out well for me.  So, what he was saying actually made a lot of sense. 

I was going to let him know that, though.  "You take one semester of gen psych and what?  You're fucking Freud?  Fuck off."  

"You should really work on some more creative ways to tell me off.  Also, ladies shouldn't say 'fuck' so much," he replied, shifting his weight to settle more comfortably against the back of the couch.  Now I was reasonably certain he was trying to provoke me.  I resisted.

"I hope you fall on a cactus," I said calmly.

"It's a step in the right direction," he said.  He picked up the remote and turned the TV on.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I asked, reaching for the remote.

He shrugged and held the remote out of my reach. "Might as well make myself comfortable."

"I'd prefer if you didn't," I said through gritted teeth.

"I know," he said simply.

I stood up and walked over to him, making a grab for the remote.  I got my hand on it, but he didn't let go.  Instead, he pulled it hard towards his body, and I couldn't stop myself from tipping forward and landing in his lap.  I had kept my grip on the remote though, and my other hand grabbed a fistful of his shirt.  "Give me the fucking remote," I growled.  He let go, and I chucked it across the room.  It landed with a thud and the battery door flew off.

He quickly wrapped his arms around my waist, anchoring me against him.  "You're lucky I didn't throw it at your head," I told him.  Then I kissed him.  He picked me up, and my legs automatically wrapped around his waist.  "Where are we going?" I asked breathlessly, pulling my face away from his.

"Your bed, for once," he replied.

I immediately squirmed in his arms.  "No," I said.  "You're not my boyfriend, we're not fucking in my bed."  The downfall of on campus housing is that by this point we were already in my room.  How he knew which room was mine, I'll never know.

He set me down on my bed.  He didn't join me.  He didn't kiss me.  He just stood there, silently challenging me.  I stared at him hard for several seconds before grabbing him by the shirt and pulling him down next to me. 
 
I didn't immediately kick him out after we were finished, and he made no move to go.  We laid side by side in my bed, not touching, not talking.  After gathering my courage for several minutes, I spoke.  "So, Dr. Freud, am I fucked up forever?"  I tried to sound nonchalant, but as soon as the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them.

"What?  Kinsley is showing vulnerability?" Michael asked in mock surprise.  I sighed and rolled over to face the wall.

"You can go now," I said.

"Wait," he replied.  He put a hand on my arm and gently rolled me back towards him.  "I don't think you're fucked up at all.  I just think you need to let yourself be vulnerable sometimes."  Then he stood up, dressed quickly, and let himself out.

I considered his words for several minutes, but ultimately decided that if being vulnerable was what it was going to take, I'd go ahead and skip that whole connection thing.

Pre-Wedding Fun

I didn't get to see Brody as often as I would have liked over the next week, but I had time to do some job searching and even applied for a couple things.  And he was able to spend some time with Alex, which was good.  For his part, after his apology Alex pretended like nothing had happened and was back to his normal self, which was fine with me. 

I was able to get Friday off to go with Brody up for Kendra and Christian's wedding.  The wedding was going to be in a nearby town on the edge of Rocky Mountain National park.  Brody had gotten a room for Friday and Saturday night at the lodge where the wedding and reception were to be held, and I was looking forward to a weekend away in the mountains, even if it would be a busy weekend.

Kendra, to her credit, was not freaking out.  I would have been freaking out.  Last minute details are stressful in planning anything, and a wedding with 200 guests?  Yup, freak out city.  She appeared completely calm, though she did look a little tired. 

I had taken Friday and Monday off of work, hoping to be able to spend Sunday night with Brody even if he had to go to work on Monday.  I felt a serious need to make up for lost time.  I figured once I got home, I could do some serious job searching and applying on Monday.  I had more than enough comp time racked up to have taken the days off without even dipping into my untouched PTO.  I was definitely due for a long weekend.

Friday morning, Brody and I went to pick up his tux.  I perused the shop's tie selection as he tried it on to make sure it fit.  When he came out, I couldn't help but be completely turned on at the sight of him in the tux.  He looked good.  Really good.  The sales person helping him talked to him briefly as I walked over, then scurried away.  I grinned at him and he made a face back.

"Don't do that with your face, it ruins everything," I admonished him. 

"Have you ever worn a bow tie?" he asked pointedly, tugging at it.

"Ummm...not around my neck," I said with an innocent smile.  He stared at me for several seconds before bursting into laughter.

"You are full of surprises," he said, still chuckling.  He turned back to the mirror and smoothed an imaginary wrinkle out of the jacket.  "Well?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You look really fucking hot," I replied, running a finger over the lapel of the jacket and pausing when I got up to the collar.  "I'm looking forward to taking it off you tomorrow."  He laughed again.

"It's a good thing I told Alex I wasn't interested in sharing a room with him," he said.  "You're clearly planning on using it well."

"Need help taking it off?" I asked him, sliding my eyes towards the dressing room. 

"What has gotten into you?" he asked, looking at me incredulously.  But he was eyeing the dressing room and looking around to see if anyone would notice if we both slipped in.  He grabbed my hand and pulled me in, shutting the door behind us.  The dressing room was a fully enclosed cubicle with a door that actually went all the way to the floor, which was quite convenient at the moment.

I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him.  He kissed me back for a few seconds before spinning me so my back was to him.  "Just so you know, I'm not having sex with you here," he said softly against my ear in between trailing kisses along my neck. 

"Then what, exactly, are you doing?" I asked indignantly.

"Shhhh," he responded, laying his hand over my mouth briefly.  "I'm giving you a preview."  His hand left my mouth and went to my pants.  He quickly unbuttoned and unzipped them and pushed them over my hips and down my thighs.

His left arm wrapped tightly around my waist while his right hand--which was fully recovered, thankfully-- slid beneath my underwear.  I slapped my own hand against my mouth to keep from moaning as his fingers moved against me.

A knock sounded at the door of the dressing room at the exact moment he slid a finger inside of me.  I practically shoved my fist into my mouth to stay quiet as the sales person said, "Any trouble, sir?"

Brody didn't even flinch or pause as he responded back, "Nope, everything is great, thanks!"

"Okay," the sales person said.  "Bring everything up front when you're ready."  I pushed my head back against his chest and bit down on my finger as I came seconds later, grateful for his arm tight around my waist.  My legs were still shaking when he slowly withdrew his hand.  He reached down, grabbed the waist of my jeans and pulled them back up.  He turned me around again to face him and kissed me.

"Think that will get you through until at least tonight?" he asked.

I considered as I zipped and buttoned my pants.  "Hmmm, I don't know if I'd go that far, but I should at least make it through the car ride now."  He raised an eyebrow.

"It's only an hour and a half," he said.

"Oh, I know," I replied.  He shook his head.

He quickly changed from his tux back into his jeans and shirt and I hung everything back on the hangers and zipped it all back into the garment bag.  He cracked the dressing room door open and peeked out, then pushed it open.  We walked up to the front of the store.  By the time we got there, my face was hot.  I imagined everyone that looked at us knew exactly what we had just done.  But I certainly didn't regret it.

I ended up sleeping through most of the ride there.  Brody woke me up a few miles outside of town so I could enjoy the scenery.  I was glad he did.  It was absolutely gorgeous.  Someday when I got married, this would be my dream area to do it, I think.  There was some snow on the ground here, and it glittered in the sunlight.  I leaned my head against the window and smiled.

"What?" Brody asked, glancing over at me.

"I just love it here," I said simply.  I had stressed out so much about moving halfway across the country before I'd actually done it, but since I'd gotten here, I had never once questioned or regretted it.  I was truly happy in a way that I had never been in Wisconsin.  Brody returned my smile and slid his hand into mine as we drove down the final hill into town.

The lodge where the wedding and reception were going to be held was breathtaking.  It was rustic and surrounded by towering pine trees.  We checked in and hauled our stuff up to our room.  I dropped my bag on the floor and went straight to the huge window, looking out at mountains and a small river.

Brody wrapped his arms around me from behind.  "I hope your fascination with the mountains never goes away," he said, resting his chin on top of my head, "because I love watching you look at them.  Too many people don't appreciate it at all."

"How can you not?" I asked, leaning back against him.  He didn't answer, and we stood there quietly, looking out the window for several minutes.  Then I turned and kissed him.  He kissed me back, and soon we were laying on the bed.  With my need from earlier tempered by our encounter in the tux shop dressing room, we kissed without pretense for nearly 15 minutes, simply enjoying making out like teenagers.

Finally, he pulled away.  Brushing hair away from my face he said, "I should probably get ready for the rehearsal."  I nodded.

As Brody was in the bathroom brushing his teeth, someone knocked on the door.  I peeked out the peephole and saw it was Christian.  I pulled open the door.  "Hey, Brody's getting ready, come on in," I greeted him.

"Thanks," he replied, stepping in and pushing the door closed behind him.  He collapsed in one of the chairs across from the bed.  I sat on the edge of the bed and studied him.

"Everything okay?" I asked.  He shrugged.

"Kendra's finally lost it," he admitted.  "She held it together for so long, but there's a problem with the centerpieces or something and she's having a meltdown.  She kicked me out when I suggested they were fine the way they were."

"Well that was stupid of you," I said with a laugh.  "What room is she in?  I'll go help her."  He told me Kendra's room number, looking relieved. 

"Thank you," he said.  "I can't."  I nodded.  When Brody came out of the bathroom, I told him where I was going.

"Good luck," he said ominously.  Then he grinned and kissed me lightly.  I set out to find Kendra's room.

I knocked on the door when I found it.  I heard a muffled curse and then the door flew open.  "I thought--" She stopped when she saw it was me.

"I'm here to help," I said, nudging her out of the way so I could go in.  "What can I do?"  That was all it took.  She started crying.

"I'm freaking out!" she sobbed into my shoulder.  I rubbed her back.  "These aren't right and I can't make them the way I want them!  I can't believe I thought it was a good idea to put these together the night before the wedding.  Now I have to go down to the rehearsal and I'll be up all night trying to fix them!"  I let her cry for a minute before I pulled back.

"Listen to me.  Go wash your face and fix your makeup.  Get ready for the rehearsal.  While you're down there, I'll see what I can do with these.  I'll do the best I can, and I promise that they will at least be presentable for tomorrow."

"Really?" she asked, sniffling.  I nodded.  She started crying again and threw her arms around me.  "Thank you," she choked out.

I hugged her back and then turned her gently towards the bathroom.  "Go!"  She went, and I sat down in the middle of vases, flowers, ribbons, and rocks.  Kendra emerged again a few minutes later.  She showed me the picture of what they were supposed to look like.  After she left, I tugged my phone out of my pocket and searched Pinterest and Google until I found what I was looking for.

I spent the next hour assembling the centerpieces.  I realized I had only 15 minutes to get ready for dinner after I finished the final one.  I quickly snapped a picture of one of them, then jogged back to our room.  I cleaned up and dressed and fixed my makeup in record time.  I stared at my hair in the mirror, decided it was a lost cause, and pulled it into my go-to "I don't know what to do with it" style--a messy side braid.  I checked the time and realized I was already 5 minutes late for dinner.

I arrived at the restaurant downstairs breathless, but was relieved to see that people were still milling around, drinks in hand.  I searched the room for Kendra and found her quickly.  She detached herself from the small group she was talking to and rushed over.  "Were you able to do anything?" she asked hopefully.  I pulled out my phone and showed her the picture I had taken.  She breathed an audible sigh of relief.  "They're perfect," she said, hugging me tightly.  "Thank you.  I don't know what I would have done without you!"  I was relieved too.  I didn't want to be on the receiving end of a pissed off bride's anger the night before her wedding.

Christian approached and handed me a glass of wine.  "Whatever you did, you delivered my calm, cool, and collected fiancee back to me, so I thank you," he said.  I laughed and took the wine gratefully.

"Have you seen Brody?" I asked.

"I think he's over there talking to my brother," Kendra said, motioning across the room near the bar.  It was impossible for me to see over the people, even wearing my tallest boots, so I walked in that direction.  I spotted Brody quickly enough, talking to a guy who looked remarkably like Kendra.

He smiled at me when I walked up.  He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and asked if I'd had any luck.  "Saved the day," I replied.

"As usual," he chuckled.  He introduced me to Nick, Kendra's brother.  We chatted with him until it was time to sit down for dinner.  I was, of course, starving, and the food was delicious.  After dinner, a large group stayed in the bar, drinking and laughing.  Close to midnight, Brody slid his arm around my shoulders and pulled me against him.  I let my hand rest on his leg, trailing it slowly up.  He kissed my cheek then said, "Tired?" softly into my ear.

"Not even close," I said back.  "But I can pretend."  I squeezed his thigh and yawned convincingly.

"Well I guess we better get going then," he said, louder.  We said goodnight and barely made it to elevator before we were kissing.  We paused briefly when the door opened at our floor, but in my hurry, I fumbled with the room key.  I dropped it and could barely bend to get it because of how close Brody was behind me.  He had grabbed his own and slid it in the door while I was picking up the one I dropped.  The light flashed green and he shoved the door open. 

The door wasn't even closed when he shoved me against the wall and kissed me.  He pulled away long enough to yank my dress over my head.  He eyed my boots with disdain and I quickly unzipped them and kicked them away.  He picked me up and carried me, half dressed, to the bed.  He threw me down and peeled my leggings off, then quickly got rid of his clothes.  He didn't bother with my bra or foreplay, just pushed into me.

We had been laying in breathless heaps next to each other for several minutes when it dawned on me that I hadn't seen Savannah at the rehearsal dinner.  "Where was Savannah?" I asked curiously.

"Huh?" Next to me, Brody came slowly out of his post-coital daze.  "You're seriously thinking about Savannah right now?"

I laughed.  "Sorry, I just realized that she wasn't at dinner.  Or at least, I didn't see her."

He rolled over and rested his face against my shoulder.  "No, she wasn't there," he responded, his breath tickling my skin.  "I heard Kendra telling her sister that she'd have to make sure Savannah knew what was going on tomorrow."  I felt a brief stab of disappointment.  I had selfishly hoped that Savannah had dropped out of the wedding party after everything had happened.

Reading my mind, Brody wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer.  "Don't worry, it'll be fine.  I think she'll be just as keen on avoiding us as we are on avoiding her."

(Now) Alex's Perspective: Bros Before Hos

1.  If you missed Saturday's post, you can find it here  You'll want to read that one first or this one won't make as much sense! 

2.  I've had a couple requests to add the celebrities that my characters look like to the character list, as some other awesome blogs have done.  However, this is the one request I probably won't grant.  I will continue to consider it, but I have left the descriptions fairly ambiguous for a reason.  I want readers to be able to imagine the characters in a way that makes sense to them.  What if my idea of what's attractive isn't yours, and I post the person that I imagine Brody as, and y'all are like "Dude, he's so not hot"?  Then you don't like him as much, and that would be sad, because Brody has jumped through a lot of hoops to win you all over (see what I did there?).  This way, you can imagine him as any tall, dark, and handsome man you choose.  

I do appreciate the feedback that the characters are hard to imagine, so I did go back into the character list and add physical descriptions to the main characters, so I hope that helps a little.  If the lack of celebrity comparisons is seriously impeding your enjoyment of the story I could probably be talked into adding it but I'd really rather not.  (That sounded rather sarcastic, but I promise that it's not.  I think you guys know that I love to give you what you want, so it's probably weird that I'm putting my foot down on something like this, but for some reason I feel strongly about it!)
___________________________

I dodged a bullet.

Okay, that's probably a little dramatic.  But all of Liv's back and forth shit with Brody was ridiculous, and it was really hard to watch my friend get jerked around like that.  What is up with girls, anyway?  Figure out what the hell you want.

Don't get me wrong.  I don't think Liv is a bad person.  I get why she started dating someone else.  She didn't know if Brody would be back.  But I do think that Brody is so in love with her that he doesn't know his head from his ass, and I'm not entirely convinced that Liv feels the same.  If she does, she sure has a weird way of showing it.  I just don't want him to get hurt.  I've never seen him like this.  He's put so much on the line for this and if she decides to change her mind again, he's going to be a mess. 

And I guess I can admit that I'm also a little irritated that I never get to see him now.  He's been so busy with work and now I'm sure he'll spend all his free time with her.  Since he got back from Miami, the only time I see him is when we all get together.   As much as I want to blame it on Liv, I know I can't.  They haven't been back together for that long.  And now that he filled me in on what's going on at work, I get it.  But it still sucks.

I feel bad about some of the things I said when we had it out at happy hour, but they were all true.  I am worried that she's going to break his heart.  I do think the way he caters to her is ridiculous.  But I know that most of my issue isn't actually with Liv, and I did promise Brody that I wouldn't be an asshole to her.  I don't want to be an asshole to her, so it wasn't really a hard promise to make.  I was just really pissed off that day.

He was furious at the things I said on Thursday.  I've only ever seen him mad a couple times.  He's usually pretty laid back, and his "mad" matches most people's "irritated."  But on Thursday?  I got the ass chewing of my life.  He was fired up, and I could barely separate one "fuck" from another.  He called me an asshole at least 3 times, and a motherfucker twice.  If I hadn't been so blown away by how angry he was, it might have been comical. 

Of course, after swearing at each other and getting it out in the open, we made plans to hang out and watch football.  (It's times like this when I'm awfully glad I'm a guy.  I don't do catty chick bullshit.  Isn't it better to bitch each other out, maybe throw a punch or two, and then go have a beer together?  Take note, ladies.)  This was the first time this entire football season that we've done this. When he got to my house, he rang the doorbell.  That was weird, he's always just walked in.

"Really, man?" I asked as I pulled open the door.  "Since when do you ring the doorbell?"

"Since the last time I was here was when I was leaving for Miami and the last time I saw you, you bitched me out," Brody replied, but he was smiling.  He held up a case of beer.  "Peace offering."

"You're going to have to do better than that," I grumbled.  "You can buy the pizza too."

Brody laughed.  "Planned on it.  Now get out of my way so I can actually come in."  I moved, and pushed the door shut behind him.

We ordered pizza and sat on the couch drinking beer and yelling at the terrible play calling and even worse officiating.  The commentating was pretty terrible too.  Ugly game.  At halftime, I asked casually, "So what the heck even happened with you Liv?  You weren't together, and then you were.  It was like it happened overnight."

"It did happen overnight," Brody responded.  He told me the story--the way she had shown up at his house at 1 in the morning, in the pouring rain.  Her confession, their talk the next morning.  I still wasn't convinced that her feelings were at the same level as his, but I guess she probably feels more strongly than I thought she did.  So that's good, I guess. 

"That's sort of crazy," I commented.  "I mean, in a good way."  I was trying to be neutral, but it wasn't going so well.

"It was crazy.  I almost didn't answer the door.  And I definitely wasn't expecting to see her standing there when I did." 

I nodded.  I couldn't think of anything else to say on the topic and I still had my doubts, but I didn't want to be all negative about it, since we were having a pretty good day.  Luckily, the game came back on and our attention turned back to that.

As the day went on, things began to feel normal again. Brody had to take a couple work calls which was surprising to me.  I mean, I know he said he was busy, but for some reason I hadn't realized that meant that he was working on Sundays.  It helped me understand just how busy he was.  I started to feel a little ridiculous for my little outburst on Thursday.

I blamed my overly competitive nature and always feeling like everything was a competition.  I had competed with Brody for Liv, and I'd lost, so now I was competing with Liv for Brody.

I also couldn't help but feel like my friendship with Lauren was changing too.  She and I had always gotten along effortlessly, our dry, sarcastic senses of humor blending seamlessly.  But lately, our friendship had seemed off, and I couldn't quite figure out why.  She seemed a little more on edge and for some reason I felt the need to fix that.  Of course, I had no idea how. 

I was interrupted from my own thoughts by Brody tossing his phone onto the couch next to me and heading in the direction of the bathroom.  While he was gone, his phone vibrated and the screen lit up.  I saw it was a text from Liv and rolled my eyes.  Couldn't she even leave him alone for one day?  Then I saw what it said: Hope you're having fun with Alex.  Don't worry about stopping over later if it gets too late.  Just have a good time there!

Okay, fine.  I was jumping to asshole conclusions again.  I felt guilty and knew I needed to make peace with Liv.  I knew she knew what I had said on Thursday and I really did feel bad about it.

Brody ended up staying until the end of the Sunday night game.  A full day of football.  What's better than that?  "Thanks for the beer and pizza," I said as he was putting his shoes on.

"No problem.  It was good to hang out, and we should probably do it again soon,"  Brody replied.  I agreed and we said goodbye.


On Thursday I pulled Liv aside when she got to happy hour.  "Can we talk for a second?" I asked her.  She nodded, looking confused.  "Look, I was a huge asshole last week, and I'm sorry for the things I said.  I really am glad you guys are back together, because he's really happy."

"Thanks," she replied.  "I guess I wasn't sure if I had done something else to piss you off..." she trailed off, raising her eyebrows questioningly.

"Not at all.  You haven't done anything to piss me off.  I was just being a jerk."  She seemed satisfied with that and smiled.

"We all have our moments," she said.  "So, we're cool?"

"We're cool," I confirmed.

"And if you're pissed at me, next time you'll just tell me instead of being an asshole?" Liv smirked as she said it, and I could help but laugh.

"Yes, mom, next time I'll tell you instead of being an asshole," I said.  She started to walk back towards the table but I stopped her with a hand on her arm.  "Hey, um, can I ask you a question?  In confidence?"

Now she really looked confused.  "Sure, I guess," she replied.

"It's about Lauren, and I know you guys are close, so can you promise not to tell her I asked you this?"  I was taking a risk even giving this much information, but I had to know what was up with her.

"Okay, I promise.  What's up?" she asked curiously.

"She's been...weird lately.  Has she seemed weird to you?  Is there something going on with her?  You don't have to tell me what, but I'm just a little worried."

Liv looked surprised.  "No, she hasn't seemed weird at all to me," she answered genuinely.  "I don't think there's anything going on.  She hasn't said anything.  What do you think is wrong?"  Now Liv looked concerned too.

"Nothing," I said quickly.  "I don't know.  She's just seemed a little off lately.  Maybe it's just me.  I've clearly been a little off lately."  I tried to joke it off.  "Seriously though, don't say anything, okay?"

"Okay," Liv agreed.  I wasn't completely sure if I could trust her, but therapists are supposed to be good at keeping secrets, right?  I let her return to the table and puzzled over why Liv didn't notice anything different with Lauren.  And why did I even care so much? 

Pizza and Beer

Thanks to all that voted in last week's poll and commented with feedback.  4 posts (option 2) was far and away the winner, so I guess Thanksgiving will be coming a little early this year!  As always, thank you all so much for your constant feedback and support.  This is the cheesiest thing I've ever said in my life, but Liv's story would nothing without its awesome readers.  Okay, I'll wait while you finish rolling your eyes. 

This will be post #1 for the week.  Alex's post will come on Monday morning, and Wednesday's main storyline post will happen at its normal time (so sometime between Tuesday evening and Wednesday at 6am). Kinsley's story will conclude (for now anyway) on Friday.  
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On Thursday, Lauren grimaced at me when I joined them for happy hour.  "You just missed Savannah," she whispered as I sat down.  "I can't believe she had the nerve to show her face here."

I looked around in surprise.  "Is she gone now though?" I asked.  I had no desire to see her.  Kendra and Christian's wedding would be enough, I didn't need to start seeing her happy hour again too.

"She is," Lauren confirmed.  I sighed in relief.  "She just stopped in to talk to Kendra.  I don't know why she couldn't just call her."  Lauren asked if Brody was coming and I shrugged and said what he told me last night, that he'd try to stop by.

"He's been really ridiculously busy since he came back," she commented.

I nodded.  "I guess he's been taking a lot of after hours calls and stuff too.  Sounds like he's a little overwhelmed." 

"Hi, lovelies!" Kinsley's voice rang out.  We looked up as she approached.

"You're awfully cheerful," Alex said suspiciously.  Kinsley shrugged and blew him a kiss.  Alex rolled his eyes and turned to me.  "Is Brody coming?"  Clearly he hadn't been listening.  I repeated what I had told Lauren.  "Huh," he mused.  "I never thought I'd be asking a chick for an update on Brody's plans and whereabouts."  Then he turned back to Christian.

I gave Lauren and Kinsley a weird look.  Kinsley shrugged.  "I wouldn't have expected it either," she said with a shrug.

We were there for about an hour when my phone vibrated with a text from Brody saying he was on his way.  I showed Alex.  "About time," Alex quipped.

"Who pissed in your Cheerios today?" Lauren asked Alex.  Alex just gave her a dirty look.  Lauren and I exchanged looks.

"What the hell is his problem?" I whispered.  Lauren shrugged.

Kendra scooted around the large table and pulled up a chair behind me.  "Liv, are you coming up the day before the wedding with Brody?" she asked me.  Kendra and Christian's wedding was in just over a week.

"I think so.  I'm just waiting for my boss to approve my time off.  I have plenty of time to use so I most likely will be able to," I replied.

"If you want to come to the rehearsal dinner with him, you're certainly welcome," she invited me.  "It would be stupid for you to sit in your room while he was at dinner."

"Cool, thanks," I said with a smile.  "If I can get Friday off I'd love to join you guys for the dinner.  I should know tomorrow, I'll let you know."

"Great!" she said with a smile.  "I'm so glad you guys are back together."

"Me too," came a voice from behind me.  I turned to see Brody smiling at us.  Kendra got up and offered him the chair she had pulled up next to me.  Brody thanked her and sat down.  "Do you need another drink?" he asked, gesturing to my almost empty glass.  I nodded, and he stood to go up to the bar.

Alex, who was now at the other end of the table, turned and said, "When you're done catering to your girlfriend, maybe you can join us for awhile."  Brody gave him a look that was a mix of surprise and irritation.  I just gaped at him.

"Dude, out of line," Christian said, also surprised.  Alex shrugged.  Brody glanced at me before walking up to the bar.

When he came back he set my drink down and said softly to me, "I'm going to see what his deal is.  I'll be back."  I nodded.  Brody walked over to the other side of the table and sat near Alex.  They began talking quietly.  I strained to hear what they were saying but I couldn't.  Kinsley was closer and was listening closely too.

"Alex is pissed because Brody's been MIA," she reported quietly.

"That's not my fault, we've been back together for less than week!" I protested with irritation.  Kinsley shushed me and continued to listen.

"Brody told him about work, then told him if he wants to be pissed, be pissed at him, but leave you out of it," Kinsley continued.  "Alex is saying that Brody hasn't cared about anything but work and you since he got back from Miami."

Kinsley was quiet for a second, then cringed.  "Christian just suggested that Alex is still pissed that you picked Brody and not Alex."

"There was never a choice," I said with exasperation.  "I was never interested in Alex."

"Which is exactly what Alex just said, actually," Kinsley replied.  Then she made another face.  "Umm....they're about done, I think," she finished.

"No they're not," Lauren argued.  "They're still talking, what are they saying?  And Brody looks pissed."  We both looked expectantly at Kinsley.

She sighed and said, "Alex wished Brody luck in not getting his heart broken."

I flinched.   "I deserve that," I replied.

"Brody doesn't seem to think so," Kinsley relayed.  I could hear their angry tones now, but still couldn't make out words.  "Christian just told them this wasn't the place, and Brody agreed.  Oh shit, he's coming back."

Brody reappeared, his face stormy.  "Alex and I are going to take a walk," he said tightly.  "I'll be back."

"Actually, I was going to head home soon, do you just want to meet me there when you're done?  That way you can take your time."

"Sounds good, thank you," he replied.  He kissed me quickly and walked towards the door.  Alex followed shortly after.  Christian and Kendra walked over and Christian said, "We're going to take off, see you guys later."  Kendra shot me a sympathetic smile as they waved and walked out.

I sighed and rubbed my forehead.  Lauren patted my shoulder.  "It's not your fault, no matter what Alex thinks," she reassured me.

"I know," I sighed.  "It just sucks.  He's stressed enough, he doesn't need one of his best friends pissed off at him too."  We decided we were going to go too, and headed out.

On my way home, I picked up a pizza because I didn't feel like cooking anything.  I changed out of my work clothes and washed my face first thing when I got home.  I had only been home for about 15 minutes when the doorbell rang.

When I let Brody in, he looked tired but a little more relaxed.  "Pizza?" I asked, offering him a plate.  He took it gratefully after taking off his shoes, jacket, and tie.  "Annnddd..." I paused, scanning the contents of my fridge.  I found what I was looking for and emerged.  "Beer."  I held it out to him.

"Have I ever told you that you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen?" he asked, taking the beer and kissing me.

"No, I don't think so," I said with a laugh.  "Must be the beer."

He ate a piece of pizza, then looked at me.  "How much did you hear before we left?"

"I didn't hear anything, but Kinsley could hear and was relaying it all," I answered honestly.  "So, all of it."

Brody grimaced.  "I'm sorry.  Alex was way out of line, and I told him in no uncertain terms that I wouldn't put up with him talking about you like that."

I shrugged.  "I'm not too upset about it.  But thank you for standing up for me, I appreciate it."  I paused, then said, "And? Are you guys okay now?"

"I think so," Brody replied.  "I think he just needed to vent a little.  Plus he didn't know how much time I've been spending at work, so it helped to be able to fill him in on that.  He's right though, and I should be making more of an effort to see my friends."

"It's hard to balance things sometimes," I said.  "I'm glad you guys are good though."  We ate pizza in silence for a  minute until I remembered Kendra's invitation.  "Oh!  Kendra invited me to join you at the rehearsal dinner if I'm able to go up with you on Friday, so something good came of happy hour."

"Well, at least it wasn't a total wash," he agreed.  He finished his beer and set the bottle to the side.   He put his arms around me and I settled against him.  "I'm glad I'm here.  Pizza and beer and you were exactly what I needed tonight."