Parallel Dilemmas

Hi, readers!  I'm sorry I didn't get a post up the end of last week.  I'm bummed that I let you guys down, but I appreciate your patience and understanding.  Things are seriously crazy here for me!  But here is tonight's post.  I've got two posts I'm working on right now (I can't do anything one at a time, haha), and I hope for them to be Wednesday's post and a bonus post for sometime this week to make up for last week. As always, thanks for reading!  I appreciate every one of you :)
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On Sunday we took advantage of all the new snow and went snowshoeing.  It was an awesome workout and I was really glad for my excellent night's sleep the night before.  We were pretty lazy for the rest of the day, and went to bed early on Sunday night.

On Monday morning, as he drove into town, Brody said, "You know, I know a guy with a really good repair shop.  He happens to owe me a favor, and if you want, I can drop you off at work and have him come get your car today to check it out."

"Of course he owes you a favor," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Easy on the attitude," he said, surprised.  "You're certainly welcome to take care of it yourself after work, but I thought this might be easier for you."

I blushed.  "I didn't mean to be an asshole.  It just sounded like something out of a mafia movie.  That would be great actually, thank you."

"I'll call him as soon as I get to work," he promised.

Brody dropped me off in front of my office and I leaned over and kissed him goodbye.  I pulled back after a brief kiss but he caught my arm and tugged on it.  I leaned back and kissed him again.  When I pulled back this time I saw Josh walking into the building and rolled my eyes.  "Displayed enough testosterone yet?" I asked mildly.

"He's gone, so I'm good," Brody said back with a smirk.  I started to get out.  "Wait," he said, reaching for my arm again.  "I'm not good.  One more."  I looked back to see if Josh had come back out, and Brody laughed.  "This one's just for me," he assured me.  I kissed him one more time before getting out and walking into the building.

I settled into my office and was starting my computer when I heard a light knock on my doorframe.  I looked up to see Josh smirking at me from the doorway.  "Good morning, Josh," I said politely.

"Mornin'," he replied casually.  "What's wrong with your car?"

"Why do you think something's wrong with my car?" I asked.

"Well, you almost always drive yourself, but I had to witness your PDA in the parking lot with the Brody Adler, businessman extraordinaire, so I figured maybe your car was out of commission."  I rolled my eyes at his sarcastic tone.

"I got in a little fender bender the other night so it's being looked at today.  No big deal."

"Are you okay?" he asked, suddenly sounding concerned.  "Was it on Friday, in the storm?"

"It was," I replied.  "And I'm okay.  Thank you."  I smiled and turned back to my computer, and after a second he took the hint.

"See ya later," he said as he walked back to his office. 

After my last client was done at 5, I saw I had just missed a call from Brody.  I called him back.  "Hi gorgeous," he greeted me.  "Rob is on his way to your office with your car.  The alignment was a bit off, so he straightened it out.  He popped out the dent too.  They can order you a new bumper cover, but I figured you'd kill me if I okayed that without talking to you."

I laughed.  "I wouldn't have killed you, but I definitely would have been irritated.  I'm not going to bother with that right now, it's just cosmetic.  Thank you for getting this taken care of for me."

"Oh, and you were close to needing an oil change, so I just had him do that too," he added.

"You're the best," I replied.  "Thank you."

"It's the least I can do after the way I acted on Friday," he said softly.

"Stop it," I scolded him.  "It's not like I was a perfect gem on Friday either.  And it's over."  The page box popped up on my computer, and I said, "Looks like he's here, I should go.  I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yes, tomorrow," he agreed.  "Love you, Liv."

"Love you too, bye."

I walked up front and was told that the man in the waiting room was for me.  He stood as I came out and handed me my keys.  "Your car is good as new," he informed me.  "Besides the rear bumper cover, anyway.  Just let us know if you want us to order you a new one."

"Thank you, I'm going to wait on that for now," I replied politely.

"No problem.  Your car is in really great condition," he continued.  "You've kept up on the maintenance and it's low mileage for its year.  If you wanted something a little better suited to driving those roads, you'd get a great trade-in value on it."  

I considered this for a second.  I hadn't even thought about getting a new car any time soon, but my old CR-V really wasn't the best suited for some of the roads I drove on.  It was fine in town, of course, but something a little heavier and with a better AWD system probably wouldn't be a bad choice.  "Thanks for the tip," I said, smiling.  "I'll consider it.  How much do I owe you?"

He shook his head.  "It's been taken care of, ma'am.  Have a good day."

When I got back to my office I sent Brody a text that just said, "Thank you.  I love you."  I got a text back immediately that said, "You're welcome.  I love you too.  Have fun with Lauren tonight, while I sit at home bored by myself ;)"  I replied with "You mean while you stay at work until midnight?  I know your life, Adler."  His quick reply read, "Guilty.  I'll see you tomorrow, gorgeous." 

I shook my head and finished up my paperwork for the day so I could go home.  When I got out to my car, I saw that there was no trace of the dent that had been in the rear fender.  It drove smoothly home, much better than it had since my little accident.

When I walked inside, I was surprised to find Lauren storming around the kitchen.  She roughly shoved clean silverware into a drawer and then slammed it shut.  She spun on her heel to grab some glasses out of the dishwasher, and started when she saw me.  "Oh," she said dumbly.  "I didn't hear you come in."

"I'd imagine you were too busy punishing the silverware," I teased her.  She rolled her eyes, but didn't protest when I took the two glasses out of her hand and set them gently in the cabinet.  We finished putting away the dishes together, silently.  When we were finished, Lauren pulled open the fridge and pulled out a bottle of wine.  "What do you want to eat to go with the wine?" I asked.

She shrugged.  "Don't care, wine is fine."

"Lauren?" I asked gently.  "What's up?"

She regarded me--almost suspiciously--for several seconds, as if deciding how much to say.  With a shrug and a sigh, she plopped down into a chair and said, "Alex and I got into a fight.  A big one.  And I'm pretty sure I fucked everything up."

I took the bottle of wine out of her hands and poured us each a glass then sat down.  "What happened?"

She rolled her eyes before starting.  "We were at his house yesterday, and we'd had a great day together.  But then he brought up 'us' and 'defining the relationship' and I freaked out a little."

"A little?" I asked, raising my eyebrows skeptically.

She glared at me.  "A lot.  A whole fucking lot.  Liv, I made an ass out of myself.  He brought it up the way that guys do--sort of joking, but you know they're serious and just being careful?"  She looked at me and I nodded.  I knew exactly what she meant.  "I tried to just kind of blow it off and change the subject because I didn't want to talk about it.  Why do we have to talk about it?  He knows I'm not seeing anyone.  Or sleeping with anyone, for that matter.  I know that he's not.  Why do we have to make a big show of officially saying 'okay, so we're exclusive and now we're boyfriend and girlfriend forever and ever or until one of us pisses the other off badly enough that we're not anymore'?"  I shrugged.  "And he told me...Liv he told me that he wasn't going to push for anything that I don't want.  Well, I don't want to have that conversation!"

I almost laughed at her indignance.  I managed to turn it into a sympathetic smile as she took a long drink of her wine.  "I mean," she continued, "it's been a few months already.  Why do we need to talk about it now?  That ship has sailed, if you ask me.  Anyway, he called me out on avoiding the subject, and it all just escalated from there."  I didn't say anything, not sure if she was done or not.  "Well?" she demanded.  Apparently she was done.

"It's interesting that he brought it up now," I agreed.  "Especially since he's already offered to let you move in with him."  Lauren nodded vehemently, clearly agreeing.  "I don't suppose you asked him why he's bringing it up now?"

She stared blankly at me, then frowned.  "Well, I don't think I did, no."

"That might be a good place to start," I suggested.

Her face crumpled and for a brief, terrifying second, I thought she was going to cry.  I racked my brain to try to pinpoint a memory of ever seeing Lauren cry, and I couldn't.  I had no idea what to do with her if she did.  Luckily, she took a deep breath and barreled on.  "I...can't," she admitted.  I gave her a questioning look.  "He called me tonight.  He tried to act like yesterday didn't happen, which would have been ideal for me, except now that I know that he's not happy that we haven't defined our stupid relationship, it bugs me that he's just letting it go.  So I kind of sarcastically asked him if he was just going to pretend that our huge fight didn't happen and he blew up at me and said he was trying to be supportive of my 'weird and kind of stupid relationship quirks' and he was tired of walking on eggshells and trying to navigate my 'anti-commitment bullshit' with no help from me."  Lauren looked exhausted and defeated, and I had never seen her like this.

"Laur," I said gently, "You know that I love you, weird quirks and all, but even I don't understand all of them.  Maybe it's not fair to expect him to."

"I don't," she said quickly, defensively.

"You do," I said.  "And, to your defense, he was so understanding about everything that it probably seems like he gets it--and really, I'm sure he does get a lot of it.  But he clearly doesn't understand it all quite as well as you hoped he did.  And if there's one thing I've learned, it's that expecting men to read your mind is an exercising in head-banging futility."

"It doesn't matter," she said miserably.  "I already blew it.  He's pissed."

"Maybe.  Maybe not.  If you want to save the relationship, and you clearly do, give him some time to cool off and then talk to him."  She looked at me with horror.  "I know," I teased.  "You might have to admit you're wrong."

She glared at me over the rim of her wine glass, but then her face softened.  "But what do I say?  I've never had to have these stupid conversations before.  This is why I just sleep with people."

"You tell him why you freaked out.  Ask him to explain why this is important to him.  Then you have to figure out if it's something you're willing to compromise on."

"This is stupid, isn't it?" she asked.  "It's really stupid that I'm fighting with him because he wants to have a conversation in which we officially establish that we're in a committed and exclusive relationship, and I don't want to, even though we are in a committed and exclusive relationship."

"I mean, if you were anyone but you, I'd be really confused," I agreed.  "Since you're you, I'm not surprised.  And I mean that with all the love in the world."

"Okay.  I'll call him, but tomorrow.  And I'm over this conversation.  Tell me about your life."

I filled her in on my eventful weekend, and we laughed about the fact that we had both had serious arguments with Brody and Alex about next-level relationship issues.  Lauren seemed to be able to tell that I didn't want to dissect why I freaked out about moving in with Brody, and she let that slide by and I was thankful.

After catching up on work and other random things, we ended up ordering a pizza and watching trashy TV together, just like we used to.   As I was walking up the stairs for bed later, I said, "You know, this was way overdue.  Can we do this every week?  Monday nights--you, me, pizza, wine, and bad reality TV?"

"Yes!" Lauren agreed.  "I love that idea."

As I was laying in bed, I pondered Lauren's dilemma, which of course led to pondering my own parallel dilemma.  I couldn't put my finger on why I didn't want to move in with Brody, even though the idea was appealing.  I guess I was scared of things not working out and being screwed in the end.  But nothing about our relationship had pointed to anything like that happening.  And I did see this being a long-term thing.  Marriage, kids, the whole works.  I fell asleep still rolling the idea around in my mind.