(Now) Lauren/Alex: Lessons in Being Spontaneous

Lauren

“What do you want to do today?” Alex asks me.

I throw my arm over my face to block out the bright sun that my blinds aren’t stopping.  “I hate when you ask me that,” I grumble, rolling over.

He chuckles.  “Well, I guess we should start with you going back to sleep, because it’s clearly too early for you.”  I grunt in response.  “Okay, well I’m getting up.  Maybe I’ll think of something to do while I’m waiting for you to sleep the day away.” 

“Noooo,” I whine.  Have I ever mentioned that I am the furthest thing ever from a morning person?  I’m awful in the morning.  I feel bad for anyone that has to deal with me in the morning.  “Stay with me.”

Now he groans.  “I can’t lay here all morning like you can, Laur,” he says gently. 

“I’ll make it worth your while,” I solicit him.

“Oh, really?” he asks.  Of course that gets his attention.  He snuggles up against me, running his hand up my leg.

“In an hour,” I finish. 

He groans again, but stays pressed against me.  “Fine, you have one hour.  I’m timing it.”  I relax against him and smile sleepily to myself, knowing he'll never actually time it.  

Sure enough, when I open my eyes again and reach for my phone to check the time, it's almost an hour and a half later and Alex is sound asleep next to me.  I turn over carefully, and he stirs but doesn't open his eyes.  I slide my hand over his hip and stroke him through his shorts.  He stirs again, rolling onto his back.  "Wake up and take these off," I say, continuing on my mission.  

"Mmm, okay," he mumbles.  Without opening his eyes, he manages to push his shorts down his hips and kicks them away.  "You're so bossy," he adds.  I pause briefly and he opens one eye.  "What?  I didn't say it was a bad thing.  I'm not awake.  Don't believe anything I say."  I continue and he shuts his eye again as his hand slides up my leg.  "Why do you have clothes on?"  I stop what I'm doing to pull my shorts off and shift one leg so he can have better access.  I sigh as his hand moves back up my leg and makes it harder for me to concentrate on what I'm doing.  He has no more complaints once I move to get on top of him.

He's more than happy to keep laying in bed when we're finished, which I find amusing.  He presses his face against my hair and inhales, then says, "Lauren, I..."  I don't prompt him to continue, because I'm not sure if I want him to.  "I'm glad I stayed," he finishes after a long pause, leaving me to imagine what he was originally planning on saying.  I decided to not acknowledge it.  

"Me too," I agree.  "Now I can go back to sleep again."

"No!" Alex protests.  "You have to get up now.  It's been way more than an hour!"

"Relax," I tell him, rolling my eyes.  "I'm just kidding."  I roll away from him and stretch, then sit up.  I feel and hear Alex doing the same on his side of the bed.

"Share the shower?" he asks.  I never would have pegged Alex for the shower-sharing type but he actually would rather shower with me than us shower separately.  It's sort of weird for me but I try to indulge him.

"Yeah," I reply, standing and walking towards his bathroom.

We decide to go get lunch and see a movie.  After the movie, we stop at a local park and walk around on the paths for awhile.  "I wonder if Liv and Brody are having fun in Mexico," Alex muses as we walk.

"I can't imagine that they're not," I reply.  "I'm sure they're sad that they have to come back tomorrow."

"We should go somewhere soon," Alex suggests.

I consider this.  "Like where?  I need to plan pretty far ahead to use my vacation time."

"What if we went somewhere nearby, for the weekend?" he asks.  "We could go soon."

"If I don't have to take off work we can go whenever you want," I reply.

"Okay," he says.  "We'll plan something."

He doesn't bring it up again and I forget about it.  It's not until Tuesday when he says, "I booked us a room for this weekend," that I even realize he was serious about it.

"This weekend?" I squeak.  "Like, the weekend that is 3 days away?"

He grins.  "Yes, the weekend that is 3 days away," he confirms.  "Let's be spontaneous.  I promise it won't hurt."  I look at him skeptically.  Spontaneous is not in my vocabulary, and he knows this.  I have no idea what to say, but I know I should be grateful.  "Relax," he says gently, sliding an arm around my waist and brushing his thumb across my cheekbone before he kisses me softly.  "It'll be fun, I promise."

Of course, being me, I insist he at least tell me where we're going and where we're staying.  He's booked us a room at a lodge in the mountains with a spa and golf course and horses to ride on the trails.  I have to say that this maybe decreases my anxiety just a hair and increases my excitement.  But just a little.

Alex

I knew Lauren would hate me for booking the last minute trip.  What I didn't know was that she'd keep her mouth shut about how much she hated it.  I was actually impressed.  She was clearly completely thrown off but she took it fairly well.

I hadn't actually been planning on booking it for this weekend, but there was one room left so I figured I'd go for it.  I had been wanting a weekend away for awhile, and the weekend at Brody's cabin hadn't exactly been the relaxing weekend I was hoping for.  I booked the whole weekend carefully, leaving no room for Lauren's controlling tendencies to take over.  I spent a lot of time on the phone, making sure it was perfect.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Lauren asks.

I chuckle.  "Honestly?  I'm making sure I'm ready if you decide to throw something at me for springing this on you."

She makes a face and says wryly, "You know me so well.  But I wouldn't risk that pretty face of yours. I'm far more likely to do this."  She sends her fist flying at my chest, and I catch it easily in my hand.

"Pretty face, huh?" I tease.  "That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

Her other fist flies at my shoulder, and I catch that one as well.  Neither fist came at me particularly hard, and I see a hint of the smile she's fighting.  "You're lucky," she says, trying to pull her fists out of my grip.

I quickly shift my hands so I'm holding her wrists, and I cock an eyebrow curiously at her.  "Am I?"

"Yes, you're the only person who could possibly get away with this."

I tug gently on her wrists, pulling her closer to me.  "And why is that?  How am I so lucky?"   This question throws her off, and I watch her face carefully.

"Must be that pretty face," she replies eventually.

"Hmmm, I was hoping it was my unparalleled skills in the bedroom," I toss back with a smirk.

"Unparalleled?" she snorts.  "Good word, pretty boy."

I pull her closer still, and she's now practically in my lap.  I give her a mock wounded look and say, "Hey, I think you of all people should know that pretty and smart aren't mutually exclusive."

"Mmm."  She nods in agreement.  "You're on a roll, brainiac."

I laugh.  I love the way she flirts.  Some people would probably hate it, and to others it might sound like we're being rude to each other, but this has always been the way we work.  I'm glad it hasn't changed now that we're actually together.  Our banter is seamless, and I often can't remember who started it.  It wouldn't be quite as great if we weren't able to be serious, but I think we balance that well.

She interrupts my thoughts by saying, "Are you just going to keep holding on to my wrists and chatting me up, or are you going to do something useful with your perceived power?"  She's smirking at me and it's hot.

I shift my weight and quickly have her on her back, wrists pinned at her sides.  "What's that you were saying about 'perceived power'?" I ask, raising my eyebrows and looking down at her.

She tests my grip and quickly realizes she's stuck.  "Now what, pretty boy?" she asks.

"Now you get to enjoy my unparalleled skills in the bedroom," I reply.  I adjust my grip on her wrists and move them so they're over her head and I'm better balanced.

"We're not in the bedroom," she points out.  She starts to say something else but it quickly turns into a hiss of pleasure as my mouth finds the spot on her throat that turns her legs to jello.

"What was that?" I ask, gently scraping my teeth across her collarbone.

"Shut up," she snaps, wrapping one leg around me and pulling me tighter against her.  I'm glad to comply.

Lauren

I have to admit that the lodge that Alex had chosen is gorgeous.  The room is spacious and nicely decorated, and the bathroom is huge.  Once I resign myself to being spontaneous, I'm able to relax a little bit.  Kind of defeats the purpose of being spontaneous, but that's exactly the point.

"Well?" he asks, coming up behind me.  He pulls my hair back from my face and and combs it over my shoulder with his fingers, then massages my neck.

"It's beautiful," I say.  Alex's fingers work their way from the base of my skull down to my shoulders.  I sigh softly and enjoy the massage.  He keeps going, his hands moving down my spine.  I groan when his thumbs press into the muscles of my lower back.

"It's a good thing I booked us a couples massage for tomorrow morning," Alex says.  "You need it."

"That's because being spontaneous is stressful," I point out.  "A massage sounds really good though.  What else do you have planned?"

He wraps his hands around my waist and kisses my shoulder.  "You'll find out in good time."

I groan again and lean back against him.  "You're cruel, and I don't appreciate it."

He chuckles and suggests we go get some dinner.  That's a plan I can appreciate.  We head down to the lodge's restaurant and are quickly settled into a corner table.  Our meal is good and I loosen up more and more as the evening goes on.  I mean, the bottle of wine we share doesn't hurt either.

"You look beautiful, by the way," Alex says, as we're finishing our meal.  I can't help it, I laugh.  He gives me a look.

"I'm sorry," I say contritely.  (And contrite is not something that I am very often.)  "Thank you.  I didn't mean to laugh, it's just that sometimes it still feels weird to hear you say things like that."

He shrugs and takes a sip of his wine, eyeing me over the rim of the glass.  When he draws it away from his lips, he smiles and says, "It doesn't feel weird to say it."

I keep a straight face but melt a little inside.  I love how confident he is about this.  Not to say that I have doubts, because despite my overwhelming fear of everything commitment, and my anxiety to lose my friendship with Alex, this has probably been one of the best decisions I've ever made.  When Liv pointed out that having a solid friendship with Alex would only help things, as he already knew what I was like and knew my quirks (ha, that's putting it lightly), I thought she was crazy.  But it's turned out to be true.  That fight we'd had over our relationship status?  Probably could have been a relationship ender with someone that didn't get me.  With Alex, it was just a bump in the road.  I smile, thinking about the strange relief I had felt when I had called Alex after that fight and told him I was done being crazy and wanted to make our relationship official.

"What are you thinking about?" Alex inquires curiously.  He's watching me, his long fingers resting lightly on his fork, which is sitting against his plate, waiting patiently.

"Nothing," I reply hurriedly, grabbing my fork and taking a bite of my dinner to ward off any more questions.  He nods, clearly not believing me, but not pushing me either.  "This is really good."

"It is," he agrees, an amused smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

After we finish our dinner and our wine (which I realize Alex only had one glass of, what is he trying to do, get me drunk?) we head back to the room.  Alex had quickly declined our server's offer of dessert when he came to take our plates away, which was interesting.  He usually gives me the choice.  When we get to the room, Alex asks, "Do you have a jacket or sweatshirt?"

"Of course I do," I scoff.  "I knew we were going into the mountains.  Lucky for me, you allowed me that bit of information, so I could pack accordingly."

He just laughs and says, "Good, grab it."  He eyes my bare legs and adds, "You might want to change into pants too."

"Where are we going?" I ask, knowing he isn't going to tell me.  He smiles and points towards my suitcase.  I huff out an exasperated breath but follow his directions even though I don't like this.  I have no control, I have no idea what we're doing, and the whole situation is enough to send my anxiety through the roof.

After I change and grab my jacket, Alex takes my phone out of my hand and throws it on the bed.  I've had about enough and I open my mouth to protest.  Alex silences me with one finger against my lips.  His other hand pushes a wayward piece of hair out of my face and then rests against my jaw and neck.  "Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do," I say immediately, feeling guilty for being so worked up about this. I bring my hand up and gently grip Alex's forearm, keeping his hand against my skin.

"Good," he replies, smiling.  "This isn't a big deal, we're just going on a little field trip.  I know this entire trip is pushing you out of your comfort zone, but don't let this small outing push you over the edge."  I nod, my anxiety easing slightly.  My need to be in control still nags at me and I unconsciously tighten my grip on Alex's forearm.  "We can be back in an hour, if you want.  And if you really, really don't want to go, we don't have to."  His concerned eyes study my face as I bite my lip.  I realize that I have no idea what I'm so worried about, and that Alex wouldn't plan anything crazy.

"I'm sorry," I say finally.  "I'm fine, I don't know why I'm being so ridiculous.  Let's go."  He grins and kisses me, a soft, lingering kiss that makes my pulse pick up slightly.

We walk out of our room and down the hall hand in hand, and I'm now less anxious and more curious about what he has planned.  When we get outside, we walk up to a black Jeep that's idling near the front door.  I know better than to ask, because I know I won't get an answer, so I just follow Alex.  Alex opens the back door for me and I get in and slide over and he follows.  "We good?" he asks the young man behind the wheel.

"We're good," he replies with a grin.

"Alright, let's go then," Alex commands.  The Jeep pulls away from the lodge and turns down a rutted dirt road.  We drive up into the mountains, in the car for over 15 minutes.  Alex reaches for my hand,  and I take it, shivering as he runs his thumb across my palm.  When we finally stop, the driver gets out, pulls open my door and lets me out, then opens the back and leans in to grab something.  He hands a large bag to Alex and they confer quietly for half a minute before the driver gets back in, turns around, and heads down the road.

I eye the bag suspiciously in the growing darkness and look towards the receding tail lights.   "You could have just killed me in Denver.  You didn't need to go through all this trouble," I quip, trying to lessen my anxiety with a joke.

Alex clicks a small halogen lantern on and spreads a blanket on the ground.  I continue to watch him, my anxiety growing again.  He grabs my hand and pulls me over to him, asks me to sit, and pulls some more things out of the bag.  Out comes a bottle and a small box.  Then glasses and forks.  He pours from the bottle into a glass and hands it to me.  I take an experimental sip.  Sparkling wine...a very good one, at that.  "Mmm, thank you," I say softly.  My voice feels incredibly loud out here.  "Umm, is he...gone?" I ask finally.

Alex chuckles, and I jump.  "Sorry, no.  He just went back down the road a little way to give us some privacy."  He pours his own glass of wine, then hands me a fork and opens the box.  "Dessert," he explains.  I look into the little box and see a variety of delicious looking tiny cakes and tarts.  The man is a keeper, even if he had to drag me out into the wilderness to feed me.

"Why are we having dessert here?" I ask.

"You and your questions," he responds, but he moves a little closer to me and points.  "Look up."

I do, and I blink in surprise as I noticed the stars.  I can't believe I hadn't noticed them sooner, but I was so wrapped up in trying to figure out what we were doing and if I should be worried.  "Holy shit," I breathe.

"Yeah," he agrees.  "We don't have stars like this in Denver.  That's why I couldn't just kill you in Denver.  You'll have a better view here with your last breaths.  You're welcome."

I can't help but smile and I lean over and kiss him on the cheek.  "I'm sorry I'm such a pain," I say.  "It's amazing out here."  I look up again, and Alex points out that it's dark enough that we can even see the Milky Way.  "I can't even see the Milky Way in the middle of nowhere in Wisconsin," I admit, appropriately impressed.

"You like it?" he asks, and I realize that despite his outward confidence, he's worried too--but for a different reason.

"I love it," I reply.  I lean towards him and kiss him.  His hand finds its way into my hair and holds me there, kissing me back deeply.  When we break apart, before I can even process what's happening, I whisper, "And I love you."


Alex

I don't say anything at first, because I'm not sure I heard her correctly.  Then, by the light of the small lamp I'd had the kid from the lodge bring, I see the panicked look on her face, and I realize I definitely heard her correctly.  This is not something I'd planned on happening, but it's certainly a pleasant surprise.

"Um, I mean..." Lauren is trying to do damage control, but she really threw herself off.  I realize part of what's throwing her off is the fact that I haven't responded yet.

"Lauren, I love you too," I say, as soon as I realize that it's been an uncomfortable amount of time since the words came out her mouth.  (But really, with a first "I love you" any amount of time without a response over a nanosecond is uncomfortable.)

"You...you do?" she stutters.  Lauren is completely out of her element--on a last minute trip that she didn't plan, on a nighttime activity that she had no control over, and now saying words that are absolutely terrifying to her.  As much as I hate to see her uncomfortable, her vulnerability at this moment is endearing, and I feel a surge of protectiveness and fondness.

I set my wine glass to the side and carefully pry her fingers--which are hanging on for dear life--off of hers, setting it aside with mine.  I slide over to her and wrap both arms around her.  "Of course I do," I respond.  "Lauren, I've been in love with you since college."

She pulls away and looks at me in shock.  "You have?" she asks, her voice shrill and sharp in the quiet darkness.

"Shhh," I say gently, a finger on her lips.  "Yes, I have."

"But why haven't you said anything?" she demands, but in a voice much better suited for our surroundings.

I can't help it, I laugh.  She's glaring at me, and it's so Lauren-like for her to be angry that I feel the same way she does.  "What would you have done if I had?" I ask reasonably.

She frowns, considering this, then answers honestly, "Freaked out, probably.  Just like I have every other time I wasn't ready."

"Yes," I agree.  "Aside from me wanting to define our relationship, this has all moved at your pace.  I've waited this long, I was ready to keep waiting as long as you needed me to.  I promised not to push you into anything you didn't want.  Spontaneous weekend trips don't count, of course."

"You've really been in love with me since college?" she asks, and her voice is close to a whisper again.  She looks confused.  "I'm that clueless?"

"You're brilliant," I argue.  "You're just not always the best at reading people."  I fight my smile, but when I see hers, I let it happen.

"Did you plan all this to make me tell you I love you?" she asks, suddenly suspicious.

I gave her my best 'are you kidding me?' look.  "No, Laur, of course I didn't.  I'm just as surprised by it as you are.  I planned all this because I wanted to spend a relaxing weekend with you, I wanted to show you that it could be fun to be spontaneous.  And I wanted to show you that I care about you."

"Well, I knew that," she replies, softening again.  "This could have all backfired horribly, you know," she continues, and she's smiling again.

"I know," I agree.  "It was a risk I was willing to take."  She shivers and I become aware of the chill in the air.  She doesn't even protest as I take off my jacket and wrap it around her shoulders.  We're done talking for now, and we enjoy a comfortable silence as we drink our wine and finish our dessert.

When the dessert is gone and I've poured two more glasses of wine, I move to sit behind her and pull her back against me.  With her back resting against my chest and my arm wrapped tightly around her, we're both warmer.  We talk about the stars, each of us pointing out constellations that we know.  We can't remember most of the legends that go with them, so we make up our own.  They get more and more ridiculous as we go, and soon we're wiping tears of laughter from our cheeks.

Finally, we decide we'd better get back.  I text our driver, hoping he hasn't gotten bored and driven back to the lodge.  He appears in minutes and we settle in for the drive back.  I thank the kid and slip him the cash we'd agreed on, plus an extra $20, and Lauren and I head back inside.

"Well," she says as we get in the elevator.  She's smirking and she tucks herself against my side, under my arm.  "Did this work out the way you planned it?"

I tilt her head up and kiss her.  "Better," I reply, when I finally break away.  "Much better."