First Day Jitters

Author's note:  I am blown away by the amount of page views I am getting, along with the sweet comments.  Thank you for reading!  I'm so excited that I am combining the next two posts into an extra long one.  (And otherwise, today's post would not have had any Brody, and that would have been tragic!)
 _____________________________________________________________________________

The rest of my weekend was uneventful, and on Sunday evening, I found myself nervously obsessing over my first day of work outfit.  I must have tried on about 8 different outfit combinations when I heard my phone ring.  I was half in and half out of shirt #4 with pants #3, so I grabbed the phone and answered without looking at who was calling, assuming it was Lauren.  "Hey, you have to help me figure out what to wear for work tomorrow before I burn my entire closet to the ground."

There was a pause on the other end before a familiar, deep voice said, "Well, I don't know if I can drive out there before you actually have to be to work in the morning, but you know I love the gray pinstriped pants."  Oh shit, it was John.  I can't believe I didn't look before I answered.

"Oh, John.  Hey...sorry, I thought you'd be Lauren."

"Sorry for what?  Sorry you answered?" he replied wryly.

"No...I...um..." I felt my face turning pink again.  I thought I had read something on the internet once about avoiding blushing.  I'd have to google it again later, because it seemed like my face had been pink more than it had been it's normal color lately.  "Sorry, I'm just a little surprised.  How are you?"

"Fine," he said.  "I just wanted to see how the move went, and wish you luck on your first day.  How is the new place?"

"It's good.  It's pretty much the same as in the pictures, and the neighborhood is fine too.  My next door neighbor seems really nice, and I met a girl that lives down the street.  She goes to the same gym I'm trying out, so we're going to work out together."  Ugh, knock off the rambling Liv, I thought to myself.  Almost as cute as the constant blushing.

"Good, I'm glad you're settling in.  Things here are ok.  We all miss you already." Well, that's the closest thing to feelings he'd ever expressed to me sober.  At least, I thought he was sober.

"Oh,"  I said, not sure what to say to that.

There was a long pause, and then he said, "Well, I'll let you get back to tearing your closet apart.  It was good to talk to you.  Good luck tomorrow.  Call me sometime, ok?"

"Yeah, thanks.  Have a good night."  John muttered something that I couldn't make out.  "What?" I asked.

"Nothing.  Good night, Liv."  And then he hung up.

I was pretty sure I had heard the word "love" somewhere in there, but I wasn't certain.  And I didn't care.  I didn't want him to love me.  I wanted him to let me go.


I didn't sleep at all that night.  I tossed and turned, and when I did drift off, around 4 am, I had a nightmare about John showing up at the office and making a fool out of me.  I finally rolled out of bed around 6, showered, and got dressed.  I had considered skipping the gray pinstriped pants out of spite, but they were my favorite pair, so I paired them with a dark purple shell and a white cardigan.  The office was casual, and the person leading the orientation had been wearing khakis and a polo shirt, but I was a firm believer in making a good first impression.  I decided my outfit was a good middle ground between casual and typical business attire.  I ate breakfast and finished getting ready and was out the door.

A week ago I had been oriented to the agency, policies, and HR stuff.  Today was a mind numbing training on the electronic record system they used for plans and contact notes.  Thrilling, really.  Luckily, Charlotte was in this training too, and the person training us was well aware of the boring-factor of the material and had a good sense of humor.  We got an hour for lunch and Charlotte and I walked to a cafe down the street together.

When the training was finally finished, I headed home.  Halfway there I realized I needed to go to the grocery store.  I pulled over to find one with my phone, and picked up a bunch of stuff.  As I was hauling my bags in, Cassie, the next door neighbor, wandered out her door.  She grabbed a couple bags out of my trunk and brought them in behind me.

"Thanks!" I said, happy to see her.  "How's it going?"

"Good, I was just grilling some chicken for dinner and going to sit on the deck with a glass of wine.  Do you want to join me?" she asked.

"I'd love to.  I have some pasta salad leftover from a barbecue this weekend I can bring over, and I'll find a bottle of wine," I responded, happy I didn't have to cook.

She headed back to her place to check on the chicken, and after I finished putting my groceries away, I grabbed a bottle of wine and the leftover pasta salad, and walked out the back door.  I walked around the partition that separated our yards and up the stairs to her deck.  She handed me a bottle opener, and we sat and chatted until the sun set, drinking wine.  Suddenly, the half bottle of wine I had drank, along with my terrible sleep the night before, hit me hard and I felt exhausted.  I thanked Cassie for feeding me and hanging out, and headed home for bed.

After the first day at work, I slept much better.  The first day jitters were gone, and I was ready to meet the people I'd be working with the next day.  I wasn't quite ready to get up when my alarm went off, but once I was up and showered and I felt much more awake.

The day flew by, with a couple hours of staff meetings, a couple hours of reading client files, and a couple hours of shadowing other therapists in the agency.  The agency was a little different from any I'd been familiar with, doing a combination of office and home-based sessions.  Wednesday was much of the same.

On my way home on Wednesday, my phone rang.  I fished it out of my purse when I had parked in my garage.  It was Lauren, and I called her back as I walked inside.  She told me that they were planning on another happy hour tomorrow night and I made plans to meet them there when I was done with work.  "So, Brody has a cabin in the mountains, and we're all going up for the 4th of July weekend.  You should come." she said, after settling the plans for Thursday. 

"It sounds awesome, but I'm not sure...I don't want to impose, and I'm so new to the group.  Would it be weird?"  I asked.

"No, he told me to ask you.  If you don't come, I'm going to be stuck listening to wedding plans and watching Savannah throw herself at Brody all weekend by myself.  Come onnnn," she whined. 

"I'll think about it.  It does sound fun, I just don't want it to be weird."

Knowing that it would be the best answer she was getting for now, she let it go, asking me about my first few days at work.  We chatted for about 15 minutes and then I let her go so I could find something to eat.

Thursday passed uneventfully.  Since I didn't get out of work until 6, I drove straight to the bar and grill where Lauren and the gang had already started happy hour.  I found a lot to park in and texted Lauren that I'd be there in a couple minutes.  She texted back that they were at a table in the back corner, and that Savannah was not coming.  I silently rejoiced, and walked in.

I found them easily, and pulled Lauren to the bar to get a drink with me.  When we returned, Brody stood up and walked over to my chair.  He pulled out a chair from the empty table behind us and sat down.  "So you're going to come with us next weekend, right?  Up to the cabin?" he asked.

"Yeah, I was thinking about it.  Lauren told me about it last night.  It sounds like fun."

"It will be.  You really should come.  We'll all meet at my house and take 1 or 2 vehicles up.  I was thinking about leaving Thursday evening so we have all day Friday and Saturday, but we could go Friday morning too, whatever works best for people.  So keep me posted on what you decide, ok?"

"I will," I promised.  He grinned at me, then walked back to his seat on the other side of the table, next to Alex.   Before I knew it, it was 9:30 and I realized I'd better make my way home.  I got up and said goodbye.  Brody stood up too, saying he needed to get going and offering to walk me out.

We made our way through the now-crowded bar area, Brody picking a path and me sticking close behind him.  When we got outside, he asked if I needed a cab.  I shook my head.  "I drove.  I'm parked in the lot the next block over."

"Can I walk you?" he asked.  "I'm over there too."

We walked close, arms occasionally brushing.  Every time our arms touched, heat spread through me from the point of contact.  "You know," he said, casually slinging an arm across my shoulders, "I'll be really disappointed if you don't come up to the cabin."  My eyes slid up to his face, expecting a smirk, but instead met a serious expression.  I blushed (shocking), but managed to hold his gaze for a second before looking ahead of us.

"Ok, I'll come," I said.  There was no way I could say no, at this point.  I probably would have stood on my head in the middle of the street if he'd asked.  "It will be nice to get out of the city for the weekend."

His face broke into a wide grin.  "Awesome!  It's going to be great, I'm glad you're going to come."

We were at my car (note to self: park further away next time) at this point.  I grabbed my keys out of my purse and hit the button to unlock the door.  Before I could open it, Brody grabbed the handle and pulled the door open for me.  As I settled into the driver's seat, he spoke.  "Well, drive safe.  I'll text you with details for next weekend."  Then, he leaned down, kissed me softly on the cheek, and shut the door firmly.

I sat in my car without starting it for nearly a minute, trying to determine if Brody wanted more than friendship, or if this was just his particular brand of friendly and welcoming.  I shook my head, telling myself I was being ridiculous either way since I had known this guy all of a week, and went home.

Competition

I drove to Lauren's apartment complex to pick her up late the next afternoon, after having plenty of time to second guess my outfit and wonder how awkward it would be after turning Alex down the other night.  It was about a 20 minute drive to Brody's house.  He lives west of the city, and the view of the foothills got better and better as we drove.

When we pulled up in front of his house, I was surprised.  It was good sized, newer, and looked very well kept, but it wasn't nearly as grand as I had been expecting after the things Lauren had told me.  But when we walked into the house to go through to the backyard, I stopped short, stunned.  Almost the entire west wall was floor to ceiling windows, looking out to an amazing mountain view.  "Isn't it gorgeous?" Lauren asked, looking back at me, where I was still standing one step inside the door.  "I had the same reaction my first time here.  There's an amazing deck and patio out back, and the sunsets are phenomenal."  I nodded, continuing through the living and dining area to catch up with her at a sliding glass door leading out to a huge two level deck. 

"Hey, you ladies made it!" called a voice.  I turned my head to see Brody walking towards us, smiling widely.  My knees felt a little weak for a split second, and of course, I blushed.  We smiled back, Lauren turning to take in my flushed cheeks as he turned his back lead us down to the lower level where the others were.  She chuckled and smirked at me, raising one eyebrow.  I rolled my eyes and followed Brody down to the stairs.  We greeted Alex, Christian, and Kendra, who I recognized from Thursday night.  Lauren introduced me to the couple other people there she knew, and Brody took care of the rest.  Can't remember a single name, but everyone seemed nice enough.  Brody had returned to the grill, a huge built-in contraption along one side of the patio.  I smiled at Alex, who gave me a tight, awkward smile, and then quickly turned back to Christian.  Oh good, hard feelings.

Lauren led me over to Kendra's other side, and we sat and talked to her about her job and the house that she and Christian had just bought.  They were getting married in November, and she seemed completely calm and together.  A laid-back bride, which is refreshing.  I heard the sliding door open to the deck above, and a few seconds later Savannah appeared, wearing the perfect gorgeously casual outfit I had torn my closet apart for in vain the night before.  Of course, I thought to myself.  She started to walk over to our small group, smiling widely.  Her smile faltered briefly when she locked eyes with me, but then was back, pasted on falsely, not quite reaching her eyes anymore.  I made a mental note to ask Lauren later what the hell Savannah's problem was, because she clearly was not a fan of me.

Brody came back over, and Savannah jumped up to hug him, whispering something in his ear.  He laughed and whispered something back, causing her to laugh so over-the-top hysterically she had to hold on to him to keep from teetering over on her 4 inch heels.  Ah.  That explains it.  I had a little competition.  Lauren was poking me and rolling her eyes, then she muttered "She drives me up the wall when she does that shit. Desperate, much?"  I laughed, and caught a sharp look from Savannah.  I smiled mildly in her direction and turned back to Kendra and Lauren.  Kendra was telling a story about a weird wedding photographer they had met with, and I let myself get sucked back into their conversation until it was time to eat.

After we loaded our plates with food and sat back down, Brody came and sat between Lauren and I.  We complimented his grilling expertise, and I tried not to stare at his biceps.  The three of us made easy conversation for a couple minutes before Savannah came over and asked Brody to show her where the bathroom was, because she had "forgotten."  Brody didn't come back.

After dinner, Lauren and I went up to the house to use the bathroom while the guys started to make a fire in the fire pit.  When we came out, I said I was going to grab a glass of water, and sent her back down.  I got my water and walked around like a total creep, looking at the photos that Brody had up in his living area.  There were a few with friends, but most seemed to be of his family.  One was of him and a huge German Shepherd, which pretty much sealed the deal on my crush.

I walked back outside, and realized the sun was setting between the mountains.  I leaned against the rail of the upper deck, watching.  I started as the sliding glass door opened behind me.  I turned and saw Brody.  I felt my face go hot again as I realized that I had narrowly escaped him catching me creeping his photos.  "Had to go find a different lighter, the one I had down there wasn't working," he said, smiling at me.  He looked over my shoulder and nodded, coming to lean against the rail right next to me.  "That view and that sunset is the reason I bought this house.  I've never seen anything like it anywhere else."  We were both silent then, arms touching, watching the almost imperceptible path of the sun down, until it suddenly sank behind the hills.  I realized he was talking again, and turned my head toward him at the same time his hand found my lower back and rested there gently.  "...home from a rough day at work, sitting out here with a beer is the best wind down." 

"I can imagine," I said.  "If everyone had a view like this, I imagine it would put me out of job!"  Brody laughed, and then with the slightest pressure of his hand on my lower back, guided me towards the stairs down.  We walked down and rejoined the group, who had either found a different lighter or gotten the one working, because a small fire was growing in the pit.  Brody's hand drifted a fractional bit lower before returning to his side.  Lauren lifted an eyebrow at me questioningly.  I walked over, conscious of the steely glare Savannah was giving me.

I sat in the only empty seat on the other side of the fire, between Lauren and Alex.  Alex had done an impressive job of avoiding me the entire time we'd been there, but he he nodded at me as I sat down, and told me that he had liked my pasta salad.  I thanked him and we chatted comfortably, the awkwardness melting away.  Lauren got up to grab a drink, and one of the girls Brody had introduced me to earlier sat down in her seat.  Thankfully, she introduced herself again.  Kinsley.  Never would have guessed that one right if I had tried.  As we chatted, she asked where I lived, and when I told her, she exclaimed that she also lived in the area.  After pulling out my phone for a visual (I have the worst sense of direction), we realized she lived about two blocks away.  She also uses the gym that I got my trial membership to this week, and she raved about it.  We exchanged numbers and promised to make a gym date soon.  I hadn't had a workout buddy in a long time and looked forward to it.

Finally I was yawning, and since I was driving, I wanted to make our way back to the city.  I grabbed Lauren and we said goodbye.  We found Brody, and thanked him for the food and fun.  He hugged Lauren and then me.  As he hugged me, his mouth found my ear and he said quietly, "Thanks for coming.  Sorry we didn't get to talk much, but there's always next time."  I nodded, completely unable to form words with his mouth against my ear.  He pulled away and smiled, his hand lingering again on my lower back.  I met his eyes and held his stare for a second before smiling and turning away, willing myself not to look back as I walked to my car.

Meet the Neighbor

I slammed the door of the cab, and the driver pulled away from the curb.  Lauren was looking at me, bemused.  "What was that all about?" she asked, curiously.

"He wants to take me out.  On a date."

Lauren squealed in excitement.  "When?  He's definitely hot."

I rolled my eyes.  Lauren and I have always had a bit different taste in men, which is okay, because it means less competition between us, at least.  "I said no," I started, and Lauren scowled.  "I want to get settled.  I don't want to go out with the first guy to look my way, and end up tied down when I should be exploring the city," I explained.

"One date isn't 'tied down', Liv.  It's a date.  It's fun."

"But...I don't know.  He's part of your group of friends.  So what if we only go on one date, and it sucks, and then things are weird?"

She laughed.  "You don't think things will be weird now that you rejected him?" she asked.

"Maybe," I said.  "But less weird than if we went on a date and it sucked.  Or even worse, if I think he's awful and he thinks I'm great."

"Ok, ok.  I see what you're saying," Lauren conceded.  "And really, Brody is more your type anyway."

I was glad she couldn't see me blush again in the dark cab.  "What do you know about him?" I asked.

"Why, are you interested?  Oh my god, you are!"  Is that why you really turned Alex down?"

"No, I really turned Alex down because I want to get settled before I date.  And maaaaybe also a little because he's not my type," I admitted.

The cab stopped outside my house.  Lauren paid the driver and walked to her car.  She paused by the curb.   "Well, Brody is more your type.  But he's got a less-than-stellar reputation.  I've heard he's a huge player and has more notches in his bedpost than I have hairs on my head.  I guess I've never really seen him take a girl home or do anything I'd expect of a player though.  He's only been part of the group for about 6 months, and I heard that stuff from someone else that we both know.  So maybe he's cleaned up his act a little, but I don't know much more than that.  His dad is some retired pro-athlete so he's got money, and he's got a really successful PR business here.  I don't know the details, but he does a lot of picking up the check," she reported.  "Not that that matters to you," she added quickly, seeing me narrow my eyes a little.   After we had ended things the second time, John was mad and told a bunch of our mutual friends that I had been upset that he had lost his job and couldn't spend money on me anymore.  It was far from the truth but he had been pretty convincing, and I was still sensitive about the subject of money and dating.

I said goodnight to Lauren, and went inside.  I rolled my eyes at myself, somehow not surprised I had managed to simultaneously meet the hottest guy I've ever seen AND be asked out by his not-my-type best friend my first night out here.   That seemed to be my luck.  I wondered to myself if I really would have turned Brody down if he had been the one to ask me out.  Just then, my phone rang, startling out of my contemplative state.  I looked at the display, and saw John's name.  I looked at the time.  11:54 pm.  Almost 1am in Wisconsin.  John would be drunk, most likely.  The only time he could manage to share any "real" feelings with me.  Of course that would be when he called.  I hit the button the silence the ringer, and went to brush my teeth.  He didn't leave a message, and I was glad.  I didn't feel like hearing his voice.

I tripped over a box walking into my bedroom, and realized I should probably dedicate the next day to finishing up my unpacking so my house was presentable to people besides Lauren.  You know, just in case.  

And the next day I did just that.  As I was dancing around my room, music blasting, unpacking my bags and boxes, I thought I heard the doorbell.  I turned my music down and listened, and heard someone knocking on the door.  I ran down the stairs and peeked out the window, seeing a girl about my age standing on the porch.  I opened the door, a little out of breath.

"Hi, I'm Cassie, I live next door," she said, gesturing to the townhome that shared a wall with mine.

"Hi, I'm Olivia, I obviously just moved in, and I'm really sorry if my music was too loud.  I didn't realize someone was at home next door!"  I was blushing again, figuring that she came over to ask me to turn it down.  I silently cursed my face's stellar ability to blush at the drop of a hat.

"Oh, no, it doesn't bother me.  The walls here are actually not too bad.  I can hear it, but it's not too loud.  You might want to be careful of the old guy on the other side.  He's pretty cranky," she responded, smiling.  "I just dropped by to introduce myself and see if you needed anything."

"Thanks for the tip, I'll watch out for him.  Do you want to come in?  I'm unpacking still, so it's kind of a mess, but I do at least have furniture now!"  Cassie declined, saying she was on her way to the store, but we exchanged numbers and she told me to give her a call if I needed anything or wanted to hang out.  I couldn't believe how fast I was meeting people here, and the good fortune that I had at least one neighbor that seemed cool. 

I spent the rest of the day unpacking, cleaning, and getting everything arranged the way I wanted it.  As I was scoping out the fridge, deciding what to cook for my first real meal in my new home, my phone buzzed.  I checked it out, seeing a long text from a number I didn't have saved.  "Hey Olivia, this is Brody.  Hope you don't mind, I got your number from Lauren.  I'm having a barbecue tomorrow and would love if you joined us.  Let me know, and I'll send you the details!"  Reading the text, I found myself smiling like an idiot, feeling excited that he had gone out of his way to get my number to invite me.  Taking a deep breath, I reminded myself that I wasn't interested in dating yet, and called Lauren to see if she was going.  She said she was, and we made plans to meet at her house and go together the next day.  I then spent an hour in front of my closet, agonizing over the perfect outfit.  One that looked hot, but also said "I just threw this on for the barbecue, I can make anything look good!"  Shockingly enough, that outfit doesn't exist.  At least not in my closet.  I settled on a casual sundress and called it a night.

Awkward...

The first half of the week passed in a blur.  Sunday was spent unpacking, shopping for essentials, and procuring furniture.  I was thankful for my savings account and the small moving bonus that my new company had given me.  With what was left after my deposit and renting the moving trailer, I was able to get a couch and two recliners, coffee table, dining table and chairs, end tables, a bedroom set, and even a few decorations.  Monday's training and orientation was everything an orientation should be: boring, long, and completely overwhelming.  I went through it with one other person, another recent grad named Charlotte.  She was about my age, and local.  We had hit it off and ended up getting drinks and dinner after we were done.

Tuesday and Wednesday I spent unpacking, getting my new furniture, cable, and internet set up, finding a gym (within walking distance, even!), and wandering around the neighborhood a bit, getting my bearings.  Lauren had told me I was near a cool neighborhood with lots of shops, restaurants, and bars.  I found it on Wednesday, about a 10 minute walk from my house.  I spent most of the afternoon exploring, and even ate lunch by myself in a small cafe--something I never thought I'd do.

Wednesday evening, Lauren called, sounding excited.  "Are you free tomorrow?"

"Seriously, Laur?  What would I be doing?  I know two people in the whole entire state and haven't started my job yet.  But, let me check my schedule..."

Not bothered by my sarcasm, Lauren continued, "Well, sass, don't make any plans.  I have the day off.  We're having lunch, and then I have a surprise for you."

"Good thing I got a gym membership yesterday.  All this eating out is killing me.  But I do love surprises, so it's a date!" I responded.  I tried to get more info out of her, but she zipped her lips and I got nothing else.

On Thursday, I slept in, and got ready.  Since I had no idea where we were going, I had no idea what to wear, but it was hot out, so I threw on a sundress.  I figured Lauren would tell me if it was completely inappropriate for what we were doing.  Turns out she approved, and then she told me that after lunch we were heading to her favorite spa for massages, manicures, and pedicures.  It was an amazing surprise.

While we were sitting in the pedicure chairs, Lauren's phone vibrated.  She looked at the text, then turned to me.  "Some of my friends are doing happy hour and dinner tonight, do you want to go?  It would be great for you to meet some people, and the place they're going to is excellent."

I agreed to join her.  I needed to start making some new friends, and I was getting bored with my routine already.  Once we were finished, we headed back to my house where we did our hair and makeup together, like we used to before high school football games and dances.

The restaurant for the evening was in the area I had explored the day before, so we decided to walk.  As we walked, Lauren asked if I had heard from John.  I told her about Saturday night's text, and how I hadn't responded and he hadn't tried again.  We got there at 5:10, and Lauren spotted the group immediately.  As we made our way back to their table near the bar, I counted 5 people...including two gorgeous guys.  Lauren introduced me to everyone.  Savannah, Christian, Kendra, Brody, and Alex.  After a few minutes, Brody, one of the gorgeous guys I had noticed immediately, said he was going to go grab a round of drinks at the bar and asked me to come with.  He didn't have to ask twice, and we made our way over to the bar.

As we waited for our drinks, he asked me the customary questions.  Where I was from, why I moved, where I'd be working, if I liked it so far.  We made easy conversation and he teased me gently about my Wisconsin accent.  I asked him about a tattoo just visible on the inside of his bicep.  Our conversation continued after we brought back the drinks for everyone, until Savannah came over, inserted herself between us, and began asking me questions in an overly cheerful voice.  She then managed to pull Brody away.  I turned back to Lauren, who was talking to Alex.  I went through Round 3 of 20 questions with Alex, which quickly bored Lauren, and she wandered away.  Alex noticed my empty drink.  "Looks like you need another, can I buy you something?"

"Actually," I said, "I'll walk up there with you."  We walked up to the bar, and ordered our drinks.  I tried to pay for my own, but Alex pushed my outstretched hand and $10 away and offered the bartender a $20 for both of our drinks.  "Thanks, you didn't have to," I said, blushing a little.

"But I wanted to.  Ready to go back to the table?"  We walked back to find that our group was getting ready to order food.  I realized I was starving, and asked Alex what was good.  He gave me a few suggestions.  I saw someone sit down on the other side of me, and turned my head.  It was Brody.


I spent the next hour dividing my conversation between Alex and Brody, trying to figure out how I had managed to snag the attention of both of these hot guys.  Lauren caught my eye and smirked at me, then gave me a covert thumbs up.  I rolled my eyes, but could feel my face heating up again.  Damn my pale skin.

After dinner, Lauren made her way around the table to us.  "It's getting late, I should get going.  I'll take a cab back to your place to get my car."

"No, I'll come with you," I responded.  As much fun as I was having, I wasn't ready to be left alone to make conversation with people I didn't know.   Brody started to say something, but Alex interrupted, offering to walk us out.  We said goodbye and made our way towards the door.   Once we got outside, Alex put a hand on my arm, slowing me a bit and putting a few feet between us and Lauren.

"Olivia, can I take you out this weekend?" he asked.  "On a date?" he added, unnecessarily. 

I hesitated.  I hadn't even lived in this city for a week.  And while hot, Alex wasn't really my type.  He was a little too clean cut for me.  I answered, mostly honestly, "I'm really flattered, but I was hoping to take some time to get settled and get my bearings here before I started dating."

Alex looked disappointed, but managed a smile and said, "I understand.  I'm sure I'll see you around, we all try to get together weekly or so.  Let me know if you change your mind."

"Thanks," I replied. "I will let you know.  Oh, looks like Lauren grabbed us a cab, I better go!"  I breathed a silent sigh of relief for the excellent timing, squeezed Alex's hand, and walked down to the cab waiting at the curb.

Well, here I am.

As I pulled up to my new townhome, I was relieved to see that it looked the same as in the pictures online.  At least, it did from the outside.  Everyone I knew had warned me against signing a lease on a place I hadn't seen in person, but I really didn't have much choice.  I had all of one week to find a place to live after I got the job offer.  Thank god for the internet.

I pulled into the driveway and spotted the landlord getting out of her car at the curb.  We exchanged greetings and she quickly unlocked the door and showed me around.  Happily, the inside looked much the same as the pictures too, and I sighed in relief.  The landlord gave me the keys, a garage door opener, and the necessary phone numbers.  After she left, I sat down on the living room floor and pulled out my cell phone.   Lauren, a friend from high school and the only person I knew in this city, answered on the first ring.  "Are you here?  Can I come over?  I'll bring wine and help you unpack!"

I laughed at her excitement.  "Wine is going to be helpful.  Maybe it will help us forget that we are sitting on lawn chairs and drinking out of plastic cups.  Um, speaking of which....do you have lawn chairs and plastic cups you could bring?"

Lauren was over within an hour, with wine, plastic cups, lawn chairs, and takeout Thai.  By that point, I was starving and sweaty from hauling in boxes from my small trailer, and thankful for the food.  "When are you going furniture shopping?" she asked, after I had given her the grand tour.

"Probably tomorrow morning, want to come?" I asked hopefully.

"Ugh, sorry, I have Casey's soccer game in the morning.  I promised her I'd be there, and I can't break a promise to a 5 year old.  But my afternoon is free if you want to go then.  It should be over around 1:00.  We could grab a late lunch and then shop."  Casey is Lauren's niece.  She's cute as a button, and apparently a budding soccer star.

"That sounds good," I replied.  "I can start unpacking some of this stuff and hit the grocery store in the morning."

We went out back to my small deck, watching the sun set over the mountains in the distance.  Lauren looked at me, and asked, hesitating, "Well, what do you think?  Are you nervous?"

Nervous?  I was petrified.  I had graduated from grad school less than a month ago.  I was lucky enough to find a therapist job within 2 weeks of graduation in the city I'd been dreaming of moving to for the last 3 years.  I suppose the 76 resumes I'd sent out, starting two months prior to graduation, probably helped a little too.  Moving to a new state when you need supervision hours to get your license requires a lot of legwork.  When they told me they wanted me to attend an orientation and training a mere 10 days after the offer, I decided I wanted to be moved out there in time for it.  Hence my internet house hunting.  Luckily, aside from the full day of training on Monday, I had over a week to get settled before my first actual day at work. 

And then there was the fact that I had left my friends, family, and comfortable existence behind, with barely a second thought.  I was so tired of the upper Midwest weather.  Days on end where the temperature didn't see a positive number in the winter, weeks of 95 degrees plus stifling humidity in the summer, and approximately one week of spring and one week of fall was all getting old.  My parents seemed to enjoy their empty nest, and most of my friends were moving or getting married.  It was definitely time to push the boundaries of my comfort zone. 

"Lauren, I'm terrified,"  I said honestly.  "But I'm also really excited.  When I passed the 'Welcome to Colorful Colorado' sign, I just felt so...calm, I guess.  Like I was going to the right place.  That probably sounds really dumb, but I've been wanting to move out here for so long.  I am really glad you're here though.  I don't know if I could have made the leap if I hadn't known SOMEONE out here!"

Lauren hugged me then, but didn't say anything.  She didn't need to.  We went back inside and she helped me unpack for about an hour.  After that, I cleared a space big enough for my air mattress in the master bedroom, blew it up, and got ready for bed.  As I was drifting off to sleep, I heard my phone vibrate.  I looked at the text, half asleep.  "Miss you already."  That was it.  If I hadn't been so tired, I would have been pissed at John, my ex.  We had broken up amicably enough around Christmas, but as soon as he heard I was applying to out of state jobs, he had weaseled his way back into my life.  But nothing had changed, and I shut that down quickly enough.  It didn't stop him from panicking when he found out I was moving, but this was a new beginning for me, and I wasn't going to let him ruin my fun.  I clicked the display off, and fell asleep easily.