(Then) Liv: I'm Done

After the last debacle, I stopped trying to get John to do things with me.  I gave up.  It wasn't worth the fight.  John didn't initiate any plans either.  Our usual Saturdays looked like this:  him and I sitting on the couch, side by side (or sometimes I sat in the chair, or at the table), him playing video games or playing on his laptop and me doing homework or reading.  We'd order food or I'd cook, and that would be that.

It only took a few weeks to get me to my breaking point.  It was a Sunday, and it had been raining or snowing off and on all day for the past 3 days.  We'd been at his apartment the entire weekend and I was feeling cooped up and ignored and I was tired of feeling like completely platonic roommates.  Hell, we hadn't even had sex since the Saturday we'd fought about hiking.

"Let's do something the weekend of Thanksgiving," I suggested desperately, during a moment John wasn't playing his game.

He frowned.  "Like what?"

"Let's get away for a couple days.  We could spend a night in Milwaukee, or Chicago.  Do some Christmas shopping.  Just spend some time together."

"Yeah, maybe," he said noncommittally.

I wasn't going to let his lack of enthusiasm stop me, so I looked up some hotel rooms.  The prices were fairly reasonable and I told John this.  "Let's pick one and book it," I said.

He shook his head.  "Do we have to decide today?" he asked.

I stared at him, trying to figure out the best way to tell him why this was important to me.  Instead, infuriatingly, I started to cry.  This was my last ditch effort to make things better, and he just wanted to put it off--probably long enough that I'd forget or give up.  He sighed.  "Liv, why are you crying?" he asked, with about as much sympathy and concern as most people have for cockroaches.  He made no move to comfort me.

"Because," I said, sniffling and trying to get it together, "We never do anything but sit here and I want to do something.  I want to spend time with you."

"We spend time together," he protested.  "We've spent the entire weekend together."

I blinked and looked at him incredulously.  "Tell me one thing we've talked about or done this weekend that has any substance, then," I challenged him.

He rolled his eyes, and I felt my anger building.  "So what? You're going to sit here and try to make me feel bad by crying so I'll pay for a weekend away somewhere I don't even want to go?"

My mouth dropped open and the tears started again.  "I didn't say anything about you paying for it.  And if I wanted to make you feel bad," I spat between tears, "I certainly wouldn't do it by crying because you obviously don't give a fuck."

He laughed.  "Yes, tell me how I feel," he said.  "Tell me more things I don't give a fuck about, since you know what's in my head."

This pushed me over the edge.  "Me.  Our relationship.  Doing anything besides sitting on this fucking couch and playing video games.  Should I keep going?  I've got more."  My hands were on my legs and my fingers were digging into my thighs so hard that it hurt.  I glared at him through my tears and fought to keep my voice from rising to a yell.

"You're immature and impossible to talk to," he muttered.  He stood and tossed the TV remote onto the couch where he'd been sitting.  "Let me know when you're ready to have a grownup conversation."  He sauntered out of the living room and I heard his bedroom door shut.  Of course, he was careful to shut it in a perfectly civilized manner, so he could be the bigger person.  I think he actually shut it even more quietly than normal.

I sat on the couch stewing for about 10 minutes, then I grabbed my purse and left.  I drove through what now appeared to be mostly sleet and arrived at my apartment in 20 minutes.  I hated that he had moved to the other side of town, it was such a pain.  When I got home, I took a shower and then called Lauren.  I needed honesty.

"My long lost friend!" Lauren exclaimed, answering the phone.  Her voice, her excitement to talk to me, hell--even just the fact that she answered the phone, turned out to be too much, and I started to cry again.  I cursed myself for crying as easily as I blushed.  "Liv, what's wrong?"

"I'm done," I sobbed.  "I can't do it anymore."

"Breathe, sweetie," Lauren instructed me gently.  "Calm down and tell me what happened."

It took several ragged, hiccuping breaths before I was able to stop crying.  The story came pouring out.  I hadn't told Lauren much about how things had been lately, because I knew exactly what she'd say: dump the motherfucker.  She didn't get it though.  She didn't know what it was like.  She didn't know the good things, or how it hard it was to leave a relationship you'd put so much of your time, your effort, your love, and your self into.

"Jesus, Liv," she said when I was done.  "What the fuck is his problem?  I hate him.  Do you want me to fly back there and punch him in the face?  Because I will be on the next flight, and his face won't even know what hit him.  Literally."

"Don't hate him," I sniffled.  "It's not just his fault.  I'm not exactly an easy person to be in a relationship with."

"Oh no," she said firmly.  "Don't you dare even think about blaming yourself for this.  He is a rotten piece of shit and he's treating you like a child.  You deserve so much better."

"He's not awful," I said defensively.  "He's not.  He can be really great.  And I love him, Lauren."

"Why did you call me?" she asked patiently.  To an outsider, it would seem like a rude question, but I knew exactly why she asked.

"Because I needed your honesty," I admitted grudgingly.

"And my honesty is that he's a rotten piece of shit.  I can predict what's going to happen next.  He's going to call you...maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow.  Either way, he's going to call.  He's going to apologize.  He'll tell you he was wrong, he's sorry, he loves you.  He'll offer to do what it takes to make it right.  He'll do it, too--for a week.  Just long enough to suck you back in, but then it will all fall apart again.  You've got to get out, Liv."

I was silent.  Part of me knew she was right, but it wasn't that easy.  "Look," she continued, undeterred by my silence, "You're going to do whatever you think is best right now.  I know that, I get it, I love you anyway. But someone needs to say this stuff to you.  You know that if you ever need anything, all you have to do is call.  I really will get on a plane, and I promise I won't punch him without your express written consent.  But if you need me, I'll come, okay?"

"Okay," I replied.  "I love you, Laur, thank you."

"I love you more," she replied.  "Don't let that asshole get you down.  You're better than that."   We said goodbye, and I climbed into bed.  It was only 6pm, but I was worn out from crying and being angry.  I thought maybe I'd just lay and relax for a little while, then get up and do a few things around the house.

Just laying and relaxing turned into crying myself to sleep, and I was startled awake by someone sitting down on the bed next to me.  I sat straight up and scrambled away from the weight on the edge of the bed.  "Hey," a soft voice said.  John's voice.  "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.  Can I turn on the light?"

I shook my head, then realized he couldn't see me.  It was dark.  Completely dark.  I looked at the clock and saw it was after 8. "No," I croaked.  My voice was hoarse from crying and sleep.  "Please."

"Okay," he said.  I stayed pressed against the wall, as far away from him as I could get.  He shifted so his back was to the headboard and he settled against it.  He seemed to realize that trying to touch me would be a poor choice, and he kept his hands to himself.  "I wish you hadn't left."

"You wish I would have stayed and cried on your couch while you locked yourself in your room to get away from my immature and impossible conversation?  Why bother?  I couldn't make you feel bad if you weren't watching me cry." I snipped back.  An alarm bell was going off in my head, and it was warning me that John was here to do exactly what Lauren had predicted.  Despite my earlier declaration that was I was done, I wasn't quite ready to let go--but that didn't mean I wasn't going to make him work for it.

"I didn't mean any of those things," he said.  His voice was impossibly calm and I hated him for it.  "I'm sorry.  I hate it when you cry because it makes me feel like a horrible person.  It's easier to pretend I don't care.  That's not fair to you, though."

"Very little about the way things have been going lately is fair to me," I replied.

"Okay," John said.  "Tell me what you mean."

I sighed and pulled my knees to my chest.  "Things suck, John.  They seriously suck.  Don't tell me you don't feel the same way.  It's boring, we never do anything, we're not even nice to each other.  We don't have sex, you don't listen to me, you take everything I say and twist it around to blame it all on me."  Before the words even finished coming out my mouth, I knew that how he responded to this would help me decide if I was done or if I had a little more left in me to fight for this relationship.

"You're right," he replied.  I should have expected it, but I didn't.  I wasn't prepared for that response.  "You're absolutely right.  But I love you, Olivia, and I want to fix this.  Let's fix it."

That crumbled the tiny part of me that was resolved to end this tonight.  Instead, we sat in the dark and we made a plan.  A plan to pay attention to each other, and to do things, and to talk more openly about our feelings.  I felt good when we were done.  And then we had the best make up sex we'd ever had.

It was enough.  Enough to make me hold on for just a little bit longer.  But, as Lauren had hypothesized, he did great for a little longer than a week, and then it dropped off.  A few weeks later I had, once again, given up.  He did nothing to pick up the slack.  He didn't even seem to notice when I stopped making an effort.

The final straw happened on a night we were out, a mere week before Christmas.  Of course, we were out because his friends wanted to go out, not because I wanted to.  He paid little attention to me, which was fine because I was chatting with our friends.  But when a random guy came up and struck up a conversation with me, while John was 4 feet away, he didn't even blink.  He didn't care.  I openly flirted with this guy, touching him and letting him touch me.  I giggled and leaned towards him, and did all the things I was usually far too awkward and embarrassed to do.

John barely even cast his eyes in our direction.  Later, walking home, I waited for him to make a snide comment about it.  To be mad.  He wasn't.  I knew at that moment that he just didn't care anymore.  When we got my apartment, I turned to him and said, "I'm done."

"Done with what?" he asked, looking confused.

"This.  Us.  I'm done, it's over."  I surprised myself with how calm I felt.  That's how I knew it was the right choice.  I shivered slightly in the cold, and hoped this went quickly.

"Can we talk about this?  You have the absolute worst timing," he said, sighing heavily.  I cocked an eyebrow.  "Christmas is next week.  What am I supposed to tell my parents?"

"If your biggest concern is what you're telling your parents, you should probably just go home, because there's nothing left to talk about," I replied.  My voice shook slightly, but it was purely in response to the cold wind that had just whipped down the street.

"Home?" he asked incredulously.  "How am I supposed to get home now?  It's not like I live 5 blocks away like I used to."

"Take a cab," I suggested flippantly.  I turned to walk into my apartment and he grabbed my arm.  I turned back and glared at him.  "Let me go."

"If I'm taking a cab because you're pissed, the least you could do is pay for it."  His voice was casual, but his eyes glinted coldly in the yellow glow of the street light.

"Oh, fuck you," I growled.  I yanked my arm, trying to pull it out his grasp but he tightened his grip and laughed.  Now I was getting a little nervous and I pulled again.  "John, let go," I said again, and my voice rang out shrilly in the cold air.

"You don't actually think I'd hurt you, do you?" he asked sarcastically, pretending to be hurt and disappointed.  He let go abruptly, causing me to stumble backwards a step.  I stared at him for several more seconds, wondering what had happened to the nice person I'd been friends with for years, before I spun and quickly let myself into my building, pulling the door shut firmly behind me.

Once I was in my apartment, I felt relieved for nearly a minute until I remembered that he had keys.  I quickly slid the chain across the door and hoped that he'd stay away.  He had cared so little about me actually breaking up with him.  All he was worried about was how he was going to get home, what he was going to tell his parents, and fucking with my head one last time.

I was surprised, because I wasn't sad.  Instead, I felt relieved.  I got in the shower, like I always did after fighting with John, and I stood under the hot spray until it wasn't hot anymore.  I got out, dried off, and fell into bed without bothering with pajamas.  That night, I slept better than I'd slept in a year.

Just Be Patient

I realize that my schedule hasn't been super consistent, day and time wise, at least.  The plan for this week is this regular storyline post, Liv's backstory post on Wednesday at 6 a.m. (central time), and a regular storyline post Friday at 6 a.m.  Everything is already written and ready to go so there shouldn't be any delays!
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At work on Wednesday, I got a text from Brody saying that he was headed down to Colorado Springs for a meeting with a client's attorney and wasn't sure how late he'd be home.  I wasn't too worried, since I was going to Lauren's after work.  We had invited Kinsley as well.  I hadn't been seeing much of her lately, between being so busy and her spending so much time with Damien.

Between work and going to Lauren's house on Wednesday, I called Sarah to check in with her.  I wasn't expecting her to answer but she did.  "Hi," she said when she picked up.

"Hi," I replied.  "I was just calling to see how you were doing."

"I'm fine," she said.  She paused and I waited, then she said, "I mean, I'm better.  Grandma had her lawyer talk to me about what's going to happen and it sounds like mom probably won't be able to get us back."

"Good,  I'm glad you're doing better."

"Look," she said, suddenly sounding shy.  "I'm really sorry I barged in on you.  Thank you for picking me up and feeding me and letting me stay with you.  I was kind of an idiot, and you were really nice."

"Sarah," I said firmly, "You're welcome anytime.  I would appreciate a warning phone call next time, and not having to alert your panicking grandparents that you're safe, but you can come visit again if you'd like."

"Yeah, I'd like to come again, maybe like in August before I go back to school?  I mean, I'd have to ask Grandma this time but I think it would be fun."

I grinned to myself.  It was crazy to me that Sarah had gone from silently glaring out at me from under her hair to asking if she could come visit.  "Definitely.  Talk to your grandma and we'll figure something out."  We said goodbye and I headed towards Lauren's house.  When I got there, Lauren had just gotten home and we sat down and chatted while we waited for Kinsley.

"How's Alex?" I asked her.

"He's fine," she replied with a shrug.

"Just fine?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes.  "No, he's good.  I don't know.  He's coming home with me in July.  So you know, it's fine."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Back up!" I practically shrieked.  "He's going home with you?!  Lauren, that's a huge deal!"

"Which is exactly why I hadn't told you yet," she grumbled.  "It doesn't need to be a huge deal.  You just have to make it weird."

"I'm sorry," I said sincerely.  "I just... I don't know, I never thought this day would come."

"You're making me seriously regret saying anything," she complained.  "I wish Kinsley would get here, because then we can talk about her equally surprising relationship status.  Or we can talk about the fact that you're practically married to the biggest manwhore in the entire state, that's pretty weird."

"So you're pretty nervous about taking him home with you, huh?" I asked, completely unfazed by her anxious sarcasm.

Her face crumbled a little and she said, "It's the worst idea I've ever had.  I don't know what I was thinking.  And I'm sorry I called Brody a manwhore."

"The biggest manwhore in the entire state, actually," I teased gently.  "Laur, it'll be fine," I promised.  "Your mom is going to love him.  He's like a parent's dream--he has a good job, he has manners, and he makes you happy.  And your mom is wonderful and if he doesn't like her, then he's crazy."

Lauren looked up at the ceiling, then said softly, "My mom has a new boyfriend.  It's weird.  I don't know how to feel about it.  She's always been on her own.  I want her to be happy, but I don't know."  I started to say something but Lauren shook her head.  "I don't want to talk about it, never mind."

"Okay," I said, letting it go without question this time.  Instead I told her about Josh inviting me to lunch.  We were in the middle of coming up with ridiculous theories about why when Kinsley arrived.

"Sorry," she apologized as she came inside.  "I stopped by to see Damien quick and I got distracted."
"Distracted, huh?" Lauren asked, cocking an eyebrow at her.

Kinsley rolled her eyes.  "Not like that."  She turned to me.  "Did she tell you she's bringing Alex home with her?"

"Yes, we already talked about it," I said.  "Can we make dinner?  I'm starving."

The tension dissolved as we started making dinner and we were soon joking and laughing like normal.  We lost track of time and it was nearly 10pm before I realized I needed to head home. I had a text from Brody that he had stopped to have dinner with his mom.  I called him on my way.  "Hey," I said when he answered.  "I'm on my way home.  We totally lost track of time.  Sorry, I would have called sooner if I had realized what time it was."

"It's okay, I'm on my way back too," he said.  We talked about our days for a few minutes and then hung up.  I was almost home and Brody would be home in about a half hour.  I was ready for bed by the time Brody got home and we both went right to bed.

I considered skipping Thursday's happy hour because I was tired, but I decided to stop by for at least a little while.  I had ridden into town with Brody, so Lauren picked me up after work.  When we got there, Kendra, Christian, and Damien were already there.  Lauren and I got drinks and joined them.

We were there for over an hour before Brody got there.  I could tell immediately from the set of his jaw that he hadn't had a good day.  I met him at the bar, where he was ordering water.  "I can drive if you want to drink," I offered, squeezing his arm gently.  When the bartender reappeared, he ordered a drink, then leaned down and kissed me.  "Bad day?" I asked.

He rubbed his forehead and nodded.  "One of the clients that left my dad's company is suing them.  They have a pretty legitimate suit and it's going to be a nightmare."

I had forgotten that Brody was the majority shareholder of his dad's company since his death.  They had been so self sufficient that Brody rarely had to deal with them, just like he had hoped.  I frowned. "So what does that mean for you?" I asked, as Brody paid for his drink and we started walking towards the table.

"It means the company is going to be paying.  Hopefully we can settle and we don't have to go to court.  I'm probably going to fly down Sunday so I can meet with the attorneys on Monday."  I nodded.  We were at the table now and sat down next to each other as Brody greeted the rest of the table.

We stayed long enough for Brody to have three drinks in rapid succession, and then we left.  I drove his SUV home and headed upstairs to get ready for bed.  "I'll be up in a little bit," Brody assured me, headed back towards his office.  I got ready for bed then read for a little while.  Brody still hadn't come up, so I went down to his office.  When I peeked into his office, I saw him sitting with his elbows on his desk and his forehead resting in his hands.

"You okay?" I asked gently, slipping around the partially open door and into the room.

He looked up and smiled weakly.  "Yeah," he replied, leaning back in his chair.  "I'm just kicking myself for not selling sooner, or not paying more attention to the company.  Maybe if I would have known, I could have done something to prevent this."

I walked over behind his desk and squeezed his shoulders.  The muscles were tight and tense and he groaned when I pressed my thumbs into the base of his neck and began to rub.  "How can I help?" I asked.

"Just be patient?" he requested.  "Depending on what they ask for, this could be over on Monday, or it could stretch out for weeks or months.  I might have to go back and forth a few times."

"I can do that," I agreed.  "If you need to cancel our hiking date for next Friday--"

"No way," he interrupted me.  "I'm going to need that hiking date."

"Okay," I replied.  "But if things change, and you need Friday, I won't be upset."

He turned in his chair, and I let my hands fall away from his shoulders.  Once he was facing me he grabbed my hands and tugged me closer.  "I appreciate that a lot, but I have no intention of canceling our hiking date, Liv."

"I feel like such a priority," I said with a smirk.

"You are," he replied.  "I hope you really do feel like you are."

"I do," I assured him.  "You've been doing a really great job of balancing things and it means a lot to me.  I love our Sundays together, and that you've been home in time to eat dinner together more than you're not."  He tugged on my hands and I leaned down and kissed him.   "I should get to bed," I said once we had separated.  "I'll let you get some stuff done."

"Okay," he replied.  "I really will be up soon now.  I can't manage much more of anything tonight."  I said goodnight and made my way up to bed.  I was asleep before he came up, but when I woke up in the middle of the night, he was next to me in bed.

Early in the morning, I woke up as he sat down on the edge of the bed next to me and brushed hair out of my face.  "I'm going to go," he said softly.

"What time is it?" I groaned, squinting at him.

"A little before 6.  I'm going to try to be home at a semi-reasonable time tonight, so I'm going in early."

I nodded sleepily.  "If I bring lunch to you, can we do lunch together today?" I knew I had a big gap in the middle of my day and didn't feel like sitting around, waiting for Josh to come bother me.

"Can I let you know?  I'd love to, but I'm not sure what things look like today."  I nodded and he kissed my forehead and stood.  I fell back to sleep for another hour after he left.

I got a text from him around 10:30 that if I wanted to stop by around 12:30, he'd have about 45 minutes.  That worked well with my schedule so at 12 I left work, picked up lunch for both of us, and headed over to his office.

When I pushed through the doors to his office suite, Arlene pressed her lips together into a thin, tight line.  Then she said, "He's expecting you, you can go back."  She returned her eyes to the computer screen in front of her and didn't further acknowledge my presence, which was fine with me.  I walked past her and wove my way through the hallways to Brody's office, saying hi to people I now recognized.

Brody was just hanging up the phone when I walked in.  He greeted me warmly, even though I could tell the day had not been a good one so far.  We ate our lunch together, and he was really quiet as we ate.  "You're so quiet," I commented.  "Just a shitty day, or something else?"

He smiled.  "Just a shitty day, sorry.  I'm glad you came though."  He talked a little more after that but was still quieter than usual.  I didn't push, and the 45 minutes still passed too quickly.  "I'm not sure what time I'll be home," he admitted when he was walking me out.  "I'm shooting for 'sometime when it's still Friday and not Saturday.'"

"Okay," I replied.  "I'll probably be home.  I was too social this week and I need a night to myself."  We said goodbye and I headed back to work.

The rest of the day passed without anything notable happening, and after work I went to the gym and the grocery store.  It might be incredibly lame to go to the grocery store on Friday night, but it was quickly proving to be the best time to go.  Packed groceries stores are the worst, and Friday evenings make for a quick and painless shopping experience.

Brody did make it home while it was still Friday, and even with a couple hours to spare.  He had booked a flight down to Miami for Sunday evening and a flight back on Tuesday evening.  He planned to meet with the attorneys and try to get a settlement figured out Monday and Tuesday, but anything that still needed to be done he hoped to be able to trust to the company's attorney and handle from afar.

We planned a date night for Saturday night, so that we had at least a couple hours to spend together without interruption (hopefully) before he went down to Miami.  We tossed around the idea of going out, but in the end we decided to keep it a low key night of making dinner together and staying in.

As we laid in bed together Saturday night, I commented, "We've come a long way in balancing your job and our relationship."

Brody chuckled.  "No kidding," he agreed.  "I no longer fear for my safety when I have to tell you I need to travel somewhere, or when my phone rings during dinner."

"Hey!" I said, nudging him in the ribs with my elbow.  "That's because your phone doesn't ring during every dinner--not to mention breakfast and lunch, and we can now plan things around when you're most likely to have to travel.  And because sometimes you shut your phone off completely."

"You're right," he said.  "We're both handling it better."

"I'm not used to people telling me that things will change and then having them actually change," I admitted.  "It's been nice."

"You're welcome," Brody said, teasing me.  "I'm the poster child for proving that men can change!"

I shook my head and laughed.  "Let's not get carried away."  He laughed too, then tightened his arms around me and pressed his face into my hair.  His breath tickled my neck as he exhaled, and that was the last thing I remembered before I fell asleep.

A Lunch Invitation

Lauren and I had been continuing our Monday night hanging out routine that we'd started when we were living together, and I enjoyed knowing that I'd get to see her at least once each week.  Today we'd decided instead of going out to eat or ordering takeout, we'd pick up some food and cook.  We were in her kitchen, laughing and chopping things, when my phone rang.  Lauren, who was closer to where it was laying on the counter, glanced at it and said, "It's Lynn!"  Without hesitation she answered and put it on speaker.  "Hi Lynn!"

"...Lauren?" Lynn's voice coming out of the phone's speaker sounded confused.

"And me too!" I called, walking around Lauren so I could be closer to the phone.  I had talked to Lynn about once a week since Christmas, and I know Lauren had talked to her every couple weeks, but it was fun to all talk together--something we hadn't been able to do since Lynn came out to visit.

We abandoned our meal preparation and sat down at the table with my phone between us, talking excitedly to Lynn.  She was doing much better and was able to walk several steps unassisted.  She said the worst part was strengthening the muscles that had suffered from her long period of being unable to use them properly.  She was essentially relearning how to walk.  She was working on getting her doctor to agree to let her come out to Denver to visit for a weekend, maybe in the fall.  She was also working towards being able to do a little working starting in the fall.  There was no way she'd be able to get back to teaching full time, but she was hoping to at least do a subbing for partial days just to get out and do something.  She missed teaching and working, and said her parents (she was still living with them because she couldn't get around well on her own yet) were driving her nuts.  Her mom had taken a leave of absence from her job to take care of Lynn and was hovering.

I told her that I'd be home for the 4th of July weekend, and we excitedly made plans to go to the fireworks together.  Lauren pouted, and I reminded her that she could go home to visit too, but she was going at the end of the July for her mom's birthday.

We talked for nearly a half hour until Lynn's mom announced that dinner was ready and she had to go.  Once we got off the phone, we realized our desire to cook had vanished, especially because it was now almost 8, so we walked down the street to the little deli I had loved so much, and now missed immensely.

"I miss high school sometimes," Lauren admitted, as we ate our dinner.  "Not actually being in high school, because that sucked. But you, me, and Lynn being inseparable."  Lauren and Lynn were actually the reason everyone called me Liv.  My mom was one of those moms that insisted everyone call me by my given name of Olivia.  But in 5th grade, when we'd become friends, they'd decided I needed to go by Liv so we could all have names that started with L.  My mom eventually gave in and started calling me Liv sometimes as well.

"I don't miss high school.  But I do miss being with both of you all the time," I agreed.  When I had considered moving, the only thing that made me pause was moving so far away from Lynn.  It was hard, and I even tried to convince her to come with me.  I was glad I had made the move, obviously, but I definitely missed Lynn.

After we ate, I left.  We made plans for me to come back on Wednesday so we could finish what we had started cooking.  Lauren wouldn't cook on her own and Brody was so rarely home for dinner anyway.

Brody was home when I got home and was sitting on the couch with his laptop.  He shut his laptop and set it on the floor, then stood to kiss me.  "How was your day?" he asked, as we sat down and I curled against his side, relaxing into him.

"Good.  Lynn called while I was at Lauren's and we all got to talk for awhile.  It was pretty awesome.  How was yours?"

He told me it was fine and he had just gotten home about 30 minutes earlier.  We made plans to have dinner together the next night.  "Oh, hey," he said randomly about 20 minutes later.  We were still on the couch.  He was watching Sportscenter (is that show ever NOT on?) and I was half dozing.

"Yeah?" I mumbled sleepily.

"When is your next Friday off?  The 19th?" he asked.  I had to think for second, because I didn't even know what day today was.  After a quick mental calculation, I confirmed that it was.  "Okay, I think I'll take a half day at work.  Can we go hiking?"

"Sure!" I replied, excited at the idea of spending the day with him.  "I don't know why you even asked."  He laughed and kissed the top of my head.  Something else occurred to me and I said, "Wait, can you take a half day off when you'll be taking the 3rd off in two weeks to go to Wisconsin?"

"Don't worry about it," he replied.  "It'll be fine.  I'm pretty well caught up now and since we're not taking on any new work, things aren't nearly as crazy."  I nodded and relaxed back against him, but it didn't last long before he said, "Oh yeah, one more thing.  On the 20th, my mom said she'd be in town, and she wants to get dinner with both of us.  Is that okay?"

"Definitely," I said.  "You know I love seeing your mom."

"Oh, wait," he said again, which caused me to laugh hard enough that I had to sit up.  When I had collected myself, I looked at him and waited for him to continue.  "I talked to my sister awhile ago and she invited us out to visit.  We should look at going out for a long weekend sometime this summer."

"Sounds good to me," I agreed.  "Anything else?"

He shook his head and I yawned.  We decided to go to bed and we had only been settled under the blankets for about 30 seconds when Brody said, "Oh, one more thing!"  I groaned and he laughed and said, "I'm just kidding this time."

"You are so dumb," I grumbled, but then I laughed too.

He pushed himself up on one arm so he could lean over and kiss my cheek and said,  "Goodnight, Liv.  I love you, even if you think I'm dumb."

I rolled my eyes and smiled, even though he could see neither in the dark.  "I love you too," I replied.

At work the next day, Josh popped his head into my office.  "Will you have lunch with me?" he asked.

"Absolutely not," I replied, without even looking up from my computer.

"Liv--" he started.

"No," I said firmly.  I looked up at him.  "I'm not having lunch with you.  Now if you don't mind, I'm trying to get some work done."

"Okay," he replied.  He stood quietly in my doorway for another couple seconds, then disappeared.  I was a little curious about what he wanted, but I wasn't curious enough to subject myself to spending 45 minutes with him.  He stayed away the rest of the day, and I stayed at work until it was time to leave to meet Brody for dinner.

To my surprise, he was already there when I got there.  "Hi, beautiful," he greeted me, kissing me lightly.  I hope he never stops greeting me like that, because it will never get old.

I smiled against his lips and then said, "Hi."

"Can I help you?" the impatient-sounding hostess said, breaking into our not-quite-appropriate-for-public greeting.  I flushed while Brody flashed a charming smile at her.

"Sorry," he apologized.  Now the hostess turned red and quickly stuttered that it was no problem and please follow her.  I shook my head as we followed her back to a table.  "Thank you," Brody said to her, smiling again, after she had seated us and given us menus.

"It's not nice to flirt with the hostess," I said, after she had left.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said with mock innocence.  I rolled my eyes and asked him about his day.  He told me about it and then asked about mine.  His eyes darkened when I told him about Josh's lunch invitation.  "You didn't go, did you?"

I frowned.  "I missed when we decided that you get to tell me who I can and can't go to lunch with."

"Whoa," Brody said, raising his eyebrows in surprise.  "I'm not telling you who you can go to lunch with, and I think you know that.  You know how I feel about him, and I hope you know that I said because I'm worried about what he's up to, not because I'm setting rules about who you can spend time with."

I blushed again.  My face might as well just stay red at this point.  "I'm sorry," I said.  "It just sounded like..." I trailed off, not sure what I wanted to say.  I chose a different route instead.  "No, I didn't go."  I fixed my eyes on my empty bread plate and twisted the corner of my napkin.

"Liv," Brody said, reaching across the table to run his fingers across the back of my hand.  "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said it like that."

"I know," I said, shaking my head to clear it.  "I'm okay." I looked up into his concerned eyes and smiled.  "Can we just talk about something else?"

"Sure," he agreed, though he still looked concerned.  We talked about our upcoming trip to Wisconsin and I relaxed slowly.  We made some loose plans for the weekend and I told him about the various Fourth of July celebrations that happened in the cities around my parents' town.

We decided to leave Brody's SUV in town and dropped it off in the parking garage for his office building, then headed home in my car.  I had forgotten about my little fit about Brody's reaction to Josh asking me to go to lunch with him, and I happily let Brody drive my car.  I hated driving and would take any excuse not to.  As he drove, he reached over the center console and let his hand rest on my thigh, the tips of his fingers laying along the inner seam of my pants.  As he got closer and closer to home, he slid his hand further and further up my leg until his pinky hit the end of the line.

"Mmm, you're an evil tease," I protested, leaning my head back against the head rest and wishing my pants weren't in the way.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he replied, smirking.  He squeezed my leg gently and moved his pinky back and forth across the seam of my pants.  Fortunately (unfortunately?) he had to move his hand to hit the button on the garage door opener when we got home.  He barely had the engine off when I climbed over the center console and settled myself in his lap.   "Well, hello," he said, running his hands from my knees up to my hips, over my ass, and just barely under the hem of my shirt.  He brushed his fingertips over the skin of my lower back and I shivered before kissing him hard.  He moved his lips to my neck and sucked gently at the sensitive skin there, then said, "Are we fucking in the car like high schoolers?  Because that sounds kind of fun."  He didn't move his lips from my neck, and the vibrations from him talking tickled and made me pull away.

"No," I said, running my hands over his shoulders and his upper arms.  "I'm just going to torture you like you tortured me the whole way home."

He laughed.  "I think I can handle that," he said.  "In fact, I bet I can handle it longer than you can."  With that, he pressed his lips back to my neck, working his mouth from the side of my neck down to my collarbone.  In the end, he was wrong, and he was the one that insisted we go inside and finish what we'd started.  Of course, if he'd had his way, we probably would have just had sex in the car, but I wasn't having that.

(Then) Liv: Maybe

Hey guys!  I was planning to post a regular storyline post tonight, but I ended up at work way later than I planned and I don't feel like finishing it tonight.  So instead, I'm posting Liv's backstory post because it's finished.  I will post a regular storyline post on Friday! 
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"John," I said, waiting for him to look up from his stupid video game.  He had been playing since before I even got up this morning, and now it was after noon.  I had waited hours hoping he'd at least take a break and I could talk to him about doing something today, but he hadn't pulled his eyes from the screen.  Except, conveniently, when I was in the shower, when he must have paused it long enough to get a snack, because a dirty plate and fork were hanging out next to him on the couch.  I waited several seconds with no response.  "John!" I said again, impatiently.

After several more seconds, I got a distracted, "Yeah, babe?"

"Let's do something."  Several seconds went by without even an acknowledgement that I had said anything.  I sighed.

"What?" Now he sounded irritated.

"Let's do something," I repeated.  Sometimes I thought I should just make a recording of myself so I could play it over and over instead of just repeating myself.

"Hmmmm," he replied.  When I stood there silently and didn't respond, he finally said, "Like what?"

"I didn't have anything specific in mind," I admitted.  "I just want to get out of the house.  This is the only week I don't have anything due at school, which makes it the only weekend I won't be doing homework all weekend.  I don't want to sit here all day.  We could go find somewhere new to eat, or go to a movie, or I don't know."  Of course I had already mapped out my entire semester's worth of assignments.  I had to plan my free time carefully.

"Yeah, that sounds good," he said, clearly not listening.

Completely frustrated, I walked over and stood in front of the TV.  "What the fuck, Liv?" he snapped angrily, leaning to the side to try to see around me.  When I didn't move, he stabbed at a button on the controller and tossed it to the side with obvious irritation.  "We can do something, just not a movie.  Figure out what you want to do, and we'll go. But in the meantime, can you please get out of the way?  I can still die when it's paused."

I took a deep breath to quell my frustration and stepped out of the way.  I walked into my bedroom to give myself a couple minutes to gather myself and calm down.  This was the losing battle I'd fought with John all summer.  I wanted to enjoy my weekends during the three short months I didn't have class, and he wanted to enjoy his.  Unfortunately, we had very different ideas of what constituted an enjoyable weekend.  It hadn't been nearly as big of an issue for the last 7 weeks, since I'd been in school and had plenty of homework to keep me occupied all weekend since I didn't really have time during the week between actually going to class and working.

When I could talk and smile at the same time again, I walked back into the living room.  John looked up at me briefly when I walked in and I took advantage of the opportunity to say, "Let's go hiking.  It's so nice out.  We won't have many decent days left."  It was late October and unseasonably warm.  It was the perfect day to take advantage of some of pretty good trails that lay just a short drive out of the city.  We'd had a frost a couple weeks earlier, which meant no bugs, and the leaves would be falling soon but for now were beautiful.

He returned his eyes to his game and made a face.  "I don't really want to."

"Seriously?"

"What?" He glanced up at me again, and the irritation was plain on his face.

I tried to keep my frustration in check so I could explain why I was irritated.  "You told me to think of something and we'd do it.  You don't have any suggestions, but you don't like the ones I had."

"Look, just because I said to think of something doesn't mean I was just automatically agreeing to whatever it was you decided you wanted to do.  I meant for you to come up with some ideas and maybe I can pick something.  I don't actually feel like doing anything, but if you really want to go out, we can.  Especially if the alternative is you stomping around here like a brat all day."

I stared at him.  "Stomping around like a brat?" I parroted back in disbelief.

"Is this what you want to fight about today, Olivia?" he asked, giving me that condescending look he was so good at.  "If you want to go hiking, call a friend.  Or think of something we'd both like to do."

"Well, since I don't want to play video games, I guess that's pretty unlikely," I spat.  He had pushed me past my breaking point, and I knew he wouldn't want to do anything I might suggest.

He laughed.  "Nail in your coffin, babe.  I'm out.  If you want to do something today, I suggest you get on the phone and find someone else."  Then he turned his attention completely away from me and back to his game, and it was clear we were done. I spun and walked to my room, fighting the urge to stomp the whole way.  Once I got there, I realized I had left my phone on the coffee table and went back out, face red.  So much for my exit.  John smirked at me as I grabbed my phone off the table and stormed out again.   "I hope you find someone, because the stomping is already old," he called after me.  I wasn't even stomping.  He'd know if I was stomping.

I sat down on my bed and toyed with my phone.  Lynn was working today.  I opened my contacts and tapped the screen over Amy's name.  "Hey, Livvers!" she answered cheerfully.

"Ugh, stop," I protested my hated nickname.  She laughed.  "Wanna hike?" I asked.

"Yes!" she replied happily.  "It's perfect out.  Where should we go?  Is John coming?"

I snorted.  "No, he's most certainly not."

"Uh oh," Amy responded.  "Okay, well where should we go?"  We discussed for a few minutes and settled on a place not too far, since we were rapidly running out of daylight.

"I'll pick you up," I said, and we hung up.  I quickly changed and grabbed my small daypack.  I walked back out into the living room, where John was still playing his game.  "Are you planning to stay here or do you want a ride home?" I asked.

"Well, I want to finish this game, but I was going to go home after that.  Can't you leave your car?"

I stared at him.  Seriously?  "No, I'm driving."  And why would I leave my car for someone that I was just fighting with?

"I guess I'll just stay then, unless I can get TJ to come get me later.  Maybe he'll come play for awhile."

"John, I don't want your friends over here when I'm not here," I said, for probably about the thousandth time.  The last time he'd had a friend over to my apartment while I wasn't here, I ended up coming home to find someone I didn't even know passed out on my couch and a pizza in the oven, cooked about 15 minutes past the point of edible.

"Okay, okay," he replied, rolling his eyes.  "Then if TJ comes to get me, I won't let him come up.  Happy?"

"Sure," I muttered.  "See you later."  He lifted one hand in a half wave as I let myself out, leaving him playing video games in my apartment while I went out to enjoy the nice day.



"So what's the deal with John this time?" Amy asked, throwing her bag in the backseat and sliding into the passenger seat.

"Same shit, different day," I sighed, pulling away from the curb.  "He didn't want to go do something today, but he would have, for me." I rolled my eyes as those two sarcastic words left my mouth.  "Except he didn't actually want to do any of the things I wanted to do.  And he didn't have any suggestions, either.  And then he was just such a dick about it.  He has this way of talking to me that just makes me want to break things.  He never yells--never.  He'd never raise his voice at me.  But the things he says, and the way he says them...I don't know how to explain it.  It's like he's so put off that I would even bother him with my feelings or things I want.  It's condescending.  I feel like he's scolding me like I'm a little kid."

One time I'd tried to explain to him that the way he talked to me upset me, but it was so hard to explain that I ended up flustered and didn't do a very good job.  He quickly explained it away by accusing me of being irrational and taking things too personally.  And then, as he always did, he took the opportunity to turn it around and give me a laundry list of things I did that he didn't like.  I walked away from the conversation feeling defeated, like I was crazy, and wondering if maybe I was a little hard to live with.

"Remind me what you like about him?" Amy said, wrinkling her nose.

I sighed.  "I love him, Ames," I said.  "It's not always like this.  He can be great.  He's been so supportive of me going back to school, and we have fun together.  He just gets in these moods, and it sucks."  Amy looked perfectly skeptical, and I changed the subject.  I didn't want to spend my day whining about my crabby boyfriend.

We ended up having a great afternoon hiking on one of my favorite trails.  I was feeling much better by the time I dropped Amy off and returned to my apartment.  I was surprised to hear the shower running when I let myself in.  I was in my room, peeling off my sweaty shirt, when John got out of the shower and walked in, a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Well, that's a sight for sore eyes," he commented, his gaze drifting over my sports bra and down my stomach.

"Are you done in the bathroom?" I asked.  "I'm disgusting.  It was way warmer than I thought it was going to be."

"I like you all sweaty," he replied, catching my wrist as I tried to walk past him.  He tugged me towards him.

"Can you just give me a few minutes to shower, please?" I asked.  I was a little irritated that he wanted to have sex with me after the way he'd talked to me earlier, and I really did feel gross.  But I
didn't want to fight with him anymore tonight, so I tried to push my irritation away.  And in order to do that successfully, I needed a shower.  Really, really soon.

But he kept his grip on my wrist and pulled me closer still.  "Mmm, you can shower later," he suggested.  "I missed you today, and you look so good right now."

I yanked my wrist out of his grasp.  "I'm taking a shower," I said through gritted teeth.  I was trying so hard not to lose my cool, because I couldn't handle any more arguing today.

"What is your deal?" he asked, completely oblivious.

"'My deal' is that you completely blew me off earlier when I just wanted to do something with you.  You were rude to me, and you let me leave without so much as an apology.  Then I come back, and I just want to take a shower, and you expect me to want to have sex with you?  After the way you talked to me earlier?"

He held up his hands and took a step back.  "Go take a shower then," he said curtly.  Then he turned and pulled some clothes out of his drawer in my dresser.  I gladly walked out and to the bathroom.

I turned the water on as hot as I could stand it and stood there for a long time.  I hoped that John would be gone when I got out, even if it meant that he had taken my car.  Sometimes I felt like I was desperately clinging to the last pathetic strings of this relationship, but then John would do something that made me fall in love with him all over again.  It was almost worse that way.  If he was awful all the time, my choice would be easy.

When I got out of the shower, I could hear my TV.  I knew that meant John was still here.  Even when he was being an idiot he still had enough courtesy to turn off my TV before he left.  I walked quickly to my bedroom and changed.  I dried my hair and got in bed with a book, even though it was only 8pm.  I didn't want to talk to John.  I didn't want to fight with him.

I read for nearly an hour, then I decided to just go to bed.  I turned off the light and settled into bed, turning my body towards the wall.  20 minutes later, I was still awake.  I wanted nothing more than to be asleep before John came in, but just seconds after I had that thought, the door slid open.  I was careful not to move.  Maybe he'd think I was asleep and he'd go away quietly.

I steeled myself when he climbed into bed next to me.  He pressed his body against mine and wrapped an arm around my waist.  I had to consciously force my muscles to stay relaxed, because their natural instinct was to stiffen.  "Liv, baby, I'm sorry," he said softly.  "You're right, I was an asshole.  I don't know what my problem was earlier.  I was trying to avoid fighting about it when you came back, but I fucked that up too.  I don't want you to be mad at me."

I laid silently for several seconds.  I wasn't trying to make him squirm, but I wasn't sure how I wanted to respond.  Finally I said, "Okay, thanks for apologizing."  There wasn't a whole lot of feeling in my response, but he nestled his head into the crook between my neck and shoulder anyway.

"I love you, Livvy," he said.

"I love you too," I replied.  I waited for him to say more, but he was apparently satisfied that I wasn't mad at him anymore.  He pressed his lips against the back of my neck, and when I didn't immediately respond, he moved them lower.  He let his lips travel the back of my neck and my shoulder until he found the spot that made my tense muscles start to relax.  I felt him smile against my skin as he concentrated on that spot, and I silently cursed my body for betraying me.

I wasn't at all in the mood, after the way the day had gone, but I forced myself to relax and focus on his lips against my skin, his hand that was now traveling up my leg.  Soon, I gave into the sensations and was able to temporarily forget about how pissed I had been just an hour earlier.  But his efforts to seduce me stopped as soon as he got my body responding to his touch, and 10 minutes later he was kissing my cheek, saying "goodnight, babe," and leaving me alone and unsatisfied in my bed.


The next morning, I woke up just as alone as I had fallen asleep.  Only this time, I smelled breakfast.  I got up, pulled on a sweatshirt, and stumbled out of my bedroom.  I squinted at the light in the kitchen and rubbed my eyes.  "Good morning, baby," John greeted me cheerfully.

"Morning," I replied sleepily.

"I'm making breakfast," he said needlessly.

"I see that, thank you."  I wandered further into my tiny kitchen and watched him make French toast and scrambled eggs.  There was a plate of bacon draining on the counter, and I opened the fridge.  "Is there any sausage?" I asked

"Sausage?" he asked.  I nodded.  "No, I only got bacon when I picked stuff up last night."  I almost laughed.  No matter how many times I told him, he could never seem to remember that I didn't like bacon.  But it wasn't something that upset me much, because I knew he preferred his eggs fried, but still made them scrambled because that's what I liked.  He could have his bacon.

"Did you go out to get this stuff after I went to bed?" I asked.

"Yeah," he replied.  "I feel really bad about yesterday.  If you still want to do something today, we can do whatever you want."  This was his pattern.  He'd be a jerk, try to pretend it didn't happen, blow me off when I got pissed, then feel bad and try to make it up to me.  I knew this was his pattern.  I knew that he was only doing this so I wouldn't be mad, and that he'd do the same shit again next week, or maybe the week after.  The problem was that his efforts to make it up to me were actually really effective.

Breakfast was really good, and I thought about what I wanted to do.  I considered going to a movie, but then remembered that John hadn't wanted to do that yesterday.  I quickly nixed that idea, because even though he said we could do whatever I wanted, I didn't want to chance wasting the last day of my weekend arguing with him.  I still wanted to go do something, but it was cloudy and looked like it might rain.  I ended up suggesting we just run out and rent a movie and get some snacks.  John liked that idea, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Maybe we could even have a good day.  Maybe.

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This was going to be the last Liv backstory post but I realize it leaves some questions unanswered still.  I'm working on one more!

My Favorite Part of the House

Thanks for your patience in waiting for this post!  I'll be posting another regular storyline post on Wednesday, and the last of Liv's backstory on Friday.  Hope you all have an awesome week!
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15 minutes after I heard the shower turn off, Sarah walked slowly down the stairs.  She looked up at me through a curtain of wet hair, then cast her eyes back down to the floor.  Silently, she sat down in the chair furthest away from the couch, where I was sitting.  "Are you hungry?" I asked her.  It was now past noon, and I was definitely getting hungry.  She shrugged.  "Well, I am," I continued.  "If I make something, will you eat?"

"Yeah, I guess," she replied softly.  I motioned for her to follow me to the kitchen and I pulled the fridge open.  I gave her some options, watching her face for clues because I was pretty sure she wouldn't actually tell me what she wanted.  "Whatever you want is fine," she said finally, just as I had expected she would.

My eyes scanned the counter and I saw half a loaf of french bread sitting there.  I pulled the fridge back open and then asked "French toast?  Eggs?"  Her eyes met mine, and she paused a few seconds before shrugging.  "I think that sounds good," I said.  It was the most response she'd given any of my suggestions.  "Do you prefer bacon or sausage?"

She wrinkled her nose.  "I hate bacon," she said.  I grinned.  "What?" she asked.

I shrugged and pulled a package of turkey sausage out of the freezer.  "Sausage it is.  I hate bacon too."

"Oh," she said, but she smiled a little.  "Um, do you want some help?"  She sounded unsure again.

"Nah," I said.  I motioned to the table.  "Pretty simple.  But you can keep me company if you want.  If you wanted to talk while I cook, that would be okay.  If you don't want to talk, that's fine too." I looked at her from the corner of my eye and saw her frown as she pulled out a chair at the table.

She was silent for so long that it started to get hard for me to let it be quiet.  She was staring down at the surface of the table, but she had a look on her face that I'd seen many times.  I had a feeling she was wrestling with whether or not to talk, and if I gave in to my urge to fill the silence now I'd destroy any chance of her talking about what was on her mind.  So I sliced bread and beat eggs, waiting for her to decide what she wanted to do.

Finally, she started talking, but what came out wasn't what I expected.  "I know that you didn't know him, and that it was pretty crappy for him to just...disappear on you, but living with him was better than living with mom."  I got her a glass of water and returned to my food prep, listening.  "When I was really little, before AJ was born, we lived with mom and her dad.  He was an asshole."  The venom in her voice was surprising to me.  "He had rules.  So many rules.  I couldn't talk at the dinner table.  He didn't want to hear me ever.  He told me I was stupid and told my mom that she should dump me somewhere and drive away, that I was ruining her life.  I was 4."

She paused to take a drink of water.  "I think that...that there was something wrong with him.  Like, with his brain maybe.  People get mean when they get dementia sometimes, right?  Or maybe he was really depressed or something worse."  I nodded, encouraging her silently to keep talking.  "When Dad got out of jail the first time, I had just turned 5.  He came and stayed with us for a little while.  My grandfather," she rolled her eyes and spit the word out as if it burned her tongue, "was too scared of Dad to be mean to me while he was around.  We stayed there with him for a few months before we moved into an apartment.  The apartment sucked.  It had mice and roaches and it smelled funny and was never quite clean, no matter how much Dad scrubbed.  AJ was born about 6 months after we moved."  She stopped talking for long enough that I turned around to look at her.  She was still staring down at the table, tracing the pattern of the wood grain gentle with a fingernail.

She glanced up and her eyes darkened briefly when she saw me watching her.  She disappeared behind her curtain of hair again, slumping down in her seat.  I turned back to the stove and pulled the first pieces of French toast out of the pan on dropped them onto a plate.  I put some eggs and sausage on the plate and walked it over to the table.  I got out butter and syrup.  "Do you need anything else with that?" I asked her.

She shook her head, but when I turned to walk back to the stove, she asked in a small voice, "Do you have any juice?  Or soda?"

I pulled open the fridge and surveyed the contents.  We were in desperate need of a trip to the grocery store.  "We have Dr. Pepper, apple juice, and milk," I said.  I leaned around the fridge door to look at her.  She timidly asked for a Dr. Pepper and then stood to take it from me as I made my way back to the table.

She was quiet as I finished making food and made myself a plate.  I hoped she'd continue her story when I sat down.  Instead, she asked, "Is this really your house?"

"Well, kind of," I replied.  "It's actually Brody's house, but I moved in about two months ago."

"Where did he go?" she asked.

"He went to work for awhile.  Do you want some more?" I motioned to her now empty plate.  She considered this for a minute, then shook her head.  "You sure?  I can make a few more pieces of French toast, and there's more sausage."

"I guess I'll have sausage."  She got up and grabbed the last two pieces and brought them back to the table.  "Do you want one?" she offered.  When I shook my head she dropped them on her plate.  After we ate, she told me she had been on the bus most of the night and hadn't slept much.  I got her set up in the guest room and found out what kind of pizza she wanted for dinner before I left her to sleep

Once I was down there, I found my phone.  I had a text from Brody asking if we needed anything else while he was in town.  I sent him a short grocery list along with Sarah's pizza request and my own.  Then I tossed the phone on the couch and quickly washed the dishes from our quick meal and then flopped onto the couch.  I called Nadine and Jon and gave them a quick update.  They let me know they were planning to leave first thing in the morning and should be out here around lunchtime.  I gave them the address and told them I'd try to get Sarah to call when she got up from her nap.

Sarah ended up staying in bed until after Brody got home with groceries and pizza.  I shooed him upstairs to shower and change while I put the groceries away, then I went to the guest room to see if Sarah wanted dinner.  I knocked lightly on the door, not wanting to wake her up if she was still sleeping.  "Yeah?" she answered right away.

"If you're hungry, there's pizza," I replied.  "If not, you can always have some later."

I heard her moving around and then the door opened.  She looked slightly disheveled.  "I'll eat," she said quietly.  She offered me a very brief, shy smile, and I moved out of the way so she could get out.  "After I eat, I think I'll call my grandma."  I noticed her cheeks turning pink, and I almost laughed.  I wondered if our father had blushed as easily as we both do.

"I think she'll be glad to hear from you."

She nodded, then said, "I feel like kind of an idiot now.  I'm really sorry that I ruined your weekend."

"Sarah, you did not ruin my weekend," I said firmly.  "In the future, a call before you show up in Denver would be a good choice, but I'm glad I was around."

"Me too," she said ruefully, as we entered the kitchen.  I got out some plates and napkins and opened the pizza box.  Brody appeared in the kitchen as we were putting some pizza on our plates.  He grabbed one of the plates and smiled kindly at Sarah.  "Thanks for the pizza," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.  She refused to make eye contact with him and I could see the pink returning to her cheeks under her hair.

"You're welcome," he replied.  "Works out well for me, because I don't have to cook or wash dishes."  She met his eyes briefly and almost smiled, then looked back down at her plate.  Brody leaned against the counter with his plate in his hand and looked at me.  He said quietly, "I'm going to eat and then do a little more work."  I had a feeling he was eating and disappearing for Sarah's benefit, because she seemed absolutely terrified of him.  I nodded.

We all ate quietly.  Brody finished his pizza quickly, shoved his plate in the dishwasher, kissed my cheek and disappeared to his office.  "Does he always work a lot?" Sarah asked once he was gone.

I nodded.  "He owns his own business, so he's pretty busy."  She didn't say anything, but I was hopeful she might continue what she was talking about before.  After several minutes of silence, I tried prodding her a little.  "Do you want to tell me more about your mom?"

She frowned, then shrugged.  "She's never home.  I always took care of AJ.  She just wants us back because she gets more money when she's taking care of us.  She's always out with her stupid boyfriends, and I hate her."  Her voice had risen as she'd talked, but this was all I could get out of her.

After dinner, she called her grandma like she had said she would.  She I asked what she wanted to do and she asked what I'd be doing if she wasn't there.  I told her I might be reading or Brody and I would watch a movie or maybe go out.  She suggested we all watch a movie, and while she pretended Brody wasn't there as best as she could, she didn't seem quite as thrown off by his presence.

She excused herself for bed after the movie and once I heard the guest room door click firmly shut, I curled up next to Brody, leaning into his chest.  We talked quietly about the situation for a few minutes and then he told me about his day at work.  We turned on some old episodes of Arrested Development and watched a couple together before we were both too tired to stay up any longer.

"I think I might sleep down here," I said.  "I'm a little worried she might try to take off in the middle of the night, but even if she stays, I don't want her to wake up and need something and not come ask for it.  It might be easier if I sleep on the couch."

Brody immediately volunteered to sleep downstairs with me.  I protested that and after arguing it for a couple minutes, I convinced him to go up to bed with the promise that I'd let him know if I needed anything.

Nadine and Jon arrived on Sunday right around 1:30.  Sarah had helped me prepare and clean up from lunch and we had just finished when the doorbell rang.  She allowed Nadine and Jon to hug her tightly, though she didn't do much to hug back.  For their part, Nadine and Jon refrained from scolding her, though I could Nadine was struggling to hold her tongue.  "Can we have a few minutes?" Nadine asked me.

"Absolutely," I replied.  I left the room and went back to Brody's office.

He looked up and grinned when I knocked on the door.  "Are they gone already?" he asked, his grin turning to a perplexed look.

"No, they just asked for a few minutes," I replied with a shrug.  I pulled the second desk chair up next to him and stretched my legs up and forward, resting my heels on a clear spot on the edge of the desk.

Brody ran his fingers lightly up my bare calf and shook his head.  "It's not nice to tease while there are other people in the house," he said.

I rolled my eyes.  "Sorry you have no self control," I joked.

He grinned and leaned over to kiss my cheek.  "How pissed are they?" he asked quietly then.

I shrugged.  "They're not happy, but they were handling it well while I was out there."  I sat quietly while he wrapped up what he was working on, and was soon startled by a knock at the door.  I looked up and saw Nadine standing tentatively in the doorway.

I stood quickly.  "Nadine, this is Brody, my boyfriend." Brody stood as well and they exchanged greetings.  We walked back out to the living room.  Sarah was sitting sullenly on the couch, once again hiding behind her hair.  When she glanced up at me, I could see she had been crying.

"Well, thank you for everything," Jon said, after I had introduced Brody to him as well.  "We owe you one for taking such great care of her and her whims this weekend."

"It wasn't a problem," I assured them.  "I'd love you see you guys again soon--maybe on a planned visit this time?"  I caught Sarah's eye and smiled.  She smiled back, the corners of her lips barely twitching up before her eyes darted to Nadine and she disappeared back behind her hair.  We talked about trying to plan something and decided we'd pick a weekend soon for Brody and I to drive out to Utah.

As I was walking them all to the door, I was surprised by Sarah hugging me, briefly but fiercely.  I looked at her and said, "Call anytime, okay?  And keep me posted."  She nodded, smiled her faint, fleeting smile, and disappeared out the door behind Nadine and Jon.

"Sorry," I said with a rueful grimace once they were gone.  "That disrupted the entire weekend."

"Yet is still not the craziest thing that one of our family members has done to disrupt our lives," Brody said, smiling.  "That honor will forever stay with my father, I think."

Brody reminded me we still had several hours of our "no work" Sunday left.  We went for a long walk, wandering around the neighborhood.  We stumbled on a small hidden park that Brody didn't even know existed, and explored for awhile.  When we got back, we made dinner together.  After dinner, we ignored the mess and took a bottle of wine upstairs to enjoy while we soaked in the huge tub together.

"Well," Brody said, running his hands down my arms and pressing a kiss against my shoulder.  "I've now used this tub more since you've moved in than I had in the entire time I had this house before you moved in."

"It's a damn shame you didn't use it more," I said, shaking my head.  This tub might be my favorite part of the entire house.  I might like it even better than my little library.

"Mmmhmmm," he agreed, pressing his lips to my shoulder again, but getting closer to my neck.  I let my head fall back onto his shoulder as his lips made their way to my neck and his hands stroked down and then up my thighs.

It took us a minute to figure out a viable position for the tub and while we struggled and adjusted we also splashed out about half the water.  "I'm not cleaning that up," I said, smirking as Brody moved his leg and sloshed out another pint or so of water.  But it was the right adjustment and my words faded to a gasp as Brody thrust into me.

After we finished, we relaxed in the tub until the water wasn't warm anymore.  Then we cleaned up the water mess together, dried off, and got into bed.  "Thank you for everything this weekend," I said as I snuggled up next to him.  "And I really like our Sundays together."

"So do I," he replied, pushing a piece of my damp hair away from my face.  I shifted and got more comfortable, then easily drifted to sleep.

(Then) Liv: Hey, Jealousy

Just a head's up.  I'm currently on an awesome girls' weekend trip with a couple of my most awesome friends.  If I get some time to write, I'll get the next post up on Sunday, but it's more likely that it will come sometime (probably evening) on Monday.  Enjoy your weekend, everyone!
____________________________________

I was awfully glad I'd taken Lynn's advice to "do something crazy."  John and I were out celebrating our one year dating anniversary.  We'd had our ups and downs, but things were definitely more up than down.  Right now, they were especially up, because John had planned a really amazing night out for us for our anniversary.

I was taking a drink of wine when I heard a sort of familiar voice say my name.  I looked up and almost choked when I saw Colin standing in front of our table.  "Colin," I said, once I'd recovered.  "Wow, hi."  I hadn't seen Colin in well over two years.  I looked at John.  "Do you guys know each other?"  John shrugged.  I quickly introduced them, and Colin stuck out his hand.  John waited just a bit too long to shake it.

"Yeah, I think we met once or twice," Colin said.

John made a face that I think was supposed to be confused, but I knew it wasn't genuine.  "Hmmm, I don't remember," he said.  "Sorry."  I gave him a weird look and he shrugged.

I turned back to Colin.  "How are you?  What have you been up to?"

He replied, telling me about his job and some traveling he'd done.  He was starting to ask the same question to me when John interrupted and said pointedly, "We're actually here for our anniversary dinner."

"Oh!" Colin said.  "Well, I'll leave you to it."  He looked at me and said, "My number is the same, we should catch up some time."  Then he turned to John, smiled, and said, "Good to see you again."

When he was gone, I looked at John.  I was ready to ask him what that was all about when John said, "You're not actually going to call him, are you?"

I blinked in surprise.  "Um, I mean, I haven't really had a chance to put any thought into it.  Probably not, he's not really someone I want to be friends with at this point.  It was just good to see him.  And what was up with that?  You have definitely met him."

"I know," he replied.  "I don't want you to call him."  There was an edge to his voice that I didn't recognize.

I was shocked.  He'd never acted like this about other guys before.  I had a couple fairly close male friends in our social circle, and he didn't have any issues with that.  "I already said I probably wasn't going to," I pointed out.  "I am really confused why you're acting like this."

He narrowed his eyes.  "I'm acting like this because your ex just rolled up to our table and interrupted out anniversary dinner to get all friendly with you, and you sat here and flirted right back with him."

I huffed out a frustrated breath.  "First of all, if that's flirting, then I also flirted with the waitress, the host, and the person I talked to at the cable company today about my shitty internet.  And he's hardly my ex.  We hung out for a month.  I wouldn't even say we were dating."

"You slept with him."

I had to make a conscious effort to keep my jaw from dropping open.  I couldn't believe him.  "Once," I sputtered, fighting to keep my voice at an appropriate volume for the nice restaurant.  "And sleeping with someone doesn't make them an ex.  I can't even believe we're having this conversation, especially when we're supposed to be celebrating our anniversary."  I dropped my fork onto the table and let my gaze slide to the side.  I sucked in a deep breath and tried to calm down a little before I lost it in the middle of the restaurant.

"You're right," he said, and his voice had returned to normal.  No more strange, hard edge to it.  I looked up and he was smiling at me.  "I'm sorry, Livy, I shouldn't have said anything.  I'm being a little ridiculous.  Let's forget about it and enjoy the rest of our dinner, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," I replied.  I agreed because I didn't want to drag it out or argue right now, but I was completely confused.  He smiled at me, a brilliant smile, and returned to his dinner.  Not knowing what else to do, I picked up my fork and kept eating.

A couple minutes later, John said, "You're awfully quiet."

"Oh," I replied.  "Well, I'm just...eating."  He raised his eyebrows and looked at me skeptically, then launched into a story about something that happened at work earlier in the week.  I continued to eat my dinner quietly.

As we were walking out, he put an arm around my shoulders and gently said, "Hey, you're not still upset from earlier, are you?  I'm really sorry, I don't know what I was thinking."

"Um..." I said, not sure how to answer.  I wasn't upset, but I was a little confused.

"You're not really going to stay mad about that after I apologized, are you?  Come on baby, it's our anniversary."  He pulled me closer and kissed the side of my head.  "I love you, Livy."

"I love you too," I replied, finally relaxing against him.  I decided to just let it go.  It's not like it was a regular thing, and he'd apologized, so it didn't matter.

And it didn't happen again.  At least, it didn't happen again for a few weeks.  We were out with our friends one night and Paul had pulled me to the side to ask me a question about my job, because he had a friend that had just graduated and was looking for similar work.  It was loud and crowded in the bar we were in, so we were standing close and I had my hand resting on his arm as he leaned towards me so I could hear him.

I was concentrating on what Paul was trying to say, so I jumped a little when I felt someone take my arm by the wrist.  I looked up to see John lifting my hand off Paul's arm and sliding it around his own waist.  "Telling secrets?" he asked, feigning casual curiosity.

"No, just asking Liv a couple questions about her job.  It's easier to hear over here," Paul explained, raising his voice to be heard.

"Hmmm," John replied, but I'm pretty sure I'm the only one that heard him.

Paul nodded to me.  "Thanks for the info, is it okay if I give her your number?" he half-yelled.  I nodded and we made our way back over to the rest of the group.

I could feel John watching me on several occasions through the rest of the evening.  A few times he inserted himself into conversations I was having, effectively ending them.  The more he did it, the more I tried to ignore him.  The more I ignored him, the more he did it.  Finally, I just told him I was ready to go.

"So what was that?" John asked once, we were walking towards his apartment.

"Good question," I replied, looking at him pointedly.

He snorted.  "Don't look at me, sweetheart.  You were the one in there talking to the entire bar."

"I didn't realize you'd placed restrictions on who I could talk to," I muttered, crossing my arms petulantly.

"I don't care who you talk to, but have a little respect for me.  You sneaking off to have a private conversation is embarrassing."

I clenched my fists and then spread my fingers as wide as they'd go while I sucked in a deep breath, filling my lungs with damp night air.  "I'm sorry you were embarrassed.  We took 4 steps to the side so he could ask me a couple questions without screaming at me.  Questions about my job, because he has a friend looking for one.  It wasn't a big deal."

"It looked bad, Olivia," he said.  I rolled my eyes.  I picked up the pace so I was walking slightly ahead of him.  "Oh, that's mature," I heard him mutter under his breath.

When we got to the corner where we'd need to turn left to go to my apartment, or right to go to his, I stopped.  "I want to go home," I said.

John gave me a weird look.  "We're working on it," he said.

"No," I replied, shaking my head.  "Home.  To my apartment."

"We can spend the night at your place, that's fine," he said, shrugging.

"No," I repeated, trying hard to control my voice.  "I want to go home to my apartment, and I want you to go home to yours.  I'm frustrated and angry and I think I'd like to just go home."

"Seriously?  You're going to throw a tantrum because I called you out for flirting with everyone?"

I gaped at him.  "Actually, me going home by myself is me trying to avoid throwing a tantrum.  I'm not even going to touch the rest of what you said."

"You didn't have a problem touching Paul," John shot back.

"Nothing about anything that I did tonight is different than the way I usually act!" I exploded.  We were about to fight this out, right here on the street corner.  "Every single person I spoke to tonight, with the exception of the bartender and the girl that ran into me, was our friend.  All people I've spoken to before.  All people I've touched before.  Why is it suddenly not okay?"

"It was never okay, Olivia," he responded coolly.  His voice was completely calm now and if he wanted to make me look like a crazy person, he was succeeding.  He held up both his hands and said, "Look, I don't want to have a screaming match on the corner.  Let's just go home, together, and not worry about it."

"No, John," I replied, and I had regained control of my volume.  "I just want to go home.  Please.  We can talk about it more in the morning.  I just need to cool off."

"There's nothing to talk about.  You just need to stop flirting with everyone and it'll be fine."

"I wasn't flirting with anyone!" I yelped.  "I don't flirt!  Flirting is not a thing that I do, ever!  You should know that as well as anyone."

"Okay, okay," he conceded.  "Calm down, Liv.  Just forget I said anything.  Please at least let me walk you home."

"If you want," I replied.  I spun on my heel and went to the left, striding as quickly down the sidewalk as my short legs would take me.  He caught up to me easily and kept pace next to me, walking silently.  Thank god for small miracles.

When we got to my apartment building, I turned and said goodnight to him.  "Come on, I walked all the way here, just let me spend the night.  I'll even sleep on the couch if you want to keep being pissed."

"No, John," I repeated, for what felt like the 15th time.  "Please let me have some space tonight."  I had gotten my explosiveness out of the way and I was calm now.

"So you're going to make me walk all the way back to my apartment?  Liv, it's after midnight."  The guilt trip was starting.

"You chose to walk with me," I replied calmly.  "I would like to spend the night alone.  Please go home."

He stared me down, contemplating his next move.  He looked like he wanted to keep arguing, but instead he pasted a smile on his face and said, "If that's what you want, then I'll respect that.  Goodnight, Livy."  He was the only person in the world that I let call me Livy, and normally it was cute when he said it, but right now it was like nails on a chalkboard.

"Goodnight," I replied.  Then I turned and let myself into my building.

I sighed in relief as I walked up the stairs.  I was so confused by his sudden jealousy.  Or apparently not sudden.  Flirting has never been something I did.  All through college, Lynn and Amy mocked me relentlessly because I sucked at talking to guys.  I still do.  I was now second guessing how it looked tonight though.  I did have my hand on his arm, but only because that's a natural place for it to go when you're standing close and talking in someone's ear.  It's not like we were feeling each other up.

John and I had never fought fair, either.  He was passive-aggressive, and I was quick to snap and yell.  The passive-aggressiveness set me off so easily.  Sometimes it seemed almost like he enjoyed pushing my buttons.  The way he'd smirk right before something slipped out of his mouth made it seem like a calculated move.  He never wanted to give me space when I asked for it, either.  He'd rather fight all night than just let me cool off.  The longer it dragged out, the angrier I'd get, which led to more and more yelling from me and more and more passive-aggressive snipes from him.  At least our fights were rare, which made them more bearable.

The next morning when I woke up, I had a text from him.  "I'm sorry about last night.  Let me take you out to breakfast?"

Breakfast, my weakness.  I thought about it while I showered, then responded that that was fine.  He picked me up an hour later and took me to my favorite breakfast spot.  Once we were settled at our table, him with a bloody Mary and me with a mimosa, he said, "I'm really sorry, baby.  I was an asshole last night.  You weren't flirting, I was just being really jealous.  I just love you so much and I hate thinking about you with someone else.  Seeing you talk to other guys, even if it's just about your job, makes me think about you with someone else."

I nodded, processing what he said.  I considered asking him why this has come out of nowhere, but decided it probably wouldn't be productive.  The last thing I wanted was to spend this entire day fighting.  "Thank you for apologizing.  I'm sorry for yelling at you."

"Thank you," he replied.  "I love you."

"I love you too."

With impeccable timing, our server arrived with our food.  I eyed up my eggs, french toast, potatoes, and sausage, trying to decide what to go for first.  I wrinkled my nose when I got a whiff of John's bacon.  I finally settled on the eggs because they'd be gross if they got cold.

"What should we do today?" John asked, after we were a few bites into our breakfast.  "We can do whatever you want."

We spent the rest of breakfast tossing around ideas of things to do, and I was relieved we were done fighting, even though I was still a little confused about why we'd fought in the first place.

Is this what happens when you have a sister?

With everything that had been happening lately, we'd pretty much given up on Thursday happy hours, but this week Kinsley suggested we get them up and running again.  We all agreed and planned something for this coming Thursday.  Since we all had hardly hung out together for what seemed like months, I was excited for it.

When I got there, Lauren and Alex were the only ones there.  I got a drink and joined them.  Kendra arrived shortly after, then Christian and Kinsley.  Kinsley looked at me guiltily when she sat down.  "What?" I asked, looking at her strangely.

"Damien is coming, and I think James is too," she said apologetically.

I shrugged.  "I'm not the one that cares if he's around."  Damien and James did arrive shortly after, and Brody followed just a few minutes later.

Brody said hello and kissed me on the cheek before he walked up to the bar with James, of all people.  When they returned, they stood off to the side carrying on their conversation in hushed tones.  I grew puzzled when they pulled their phones out and appeared to exchange numbers, then shook hands.  Brody came over and sat down next to me after that.  "What was that all about?" I asked curiously.

"I'll tell you about it later," he replied.

"Why can't you tell me about it now?"

"Because later is better," he insisted.

I just stared at him, then said, "Because I'll be mad about whatever it is?"

"Liv, come on.  I'll tell you later, I promise."  I didn't even get a chance to decide if I wanted to let it go for now when his phone rang.  He had switched on call weeks with Pete and was on call again.  He got up and answered as he walked towards the door.  A few minutes later he came back.  "I'm sorry," he said.  "I have to go back to the office for awhile.  Do you want to get a ride over there when you guys are done, if I'm not back yet?"  We had driven together again this morning.

"Yeah, that's fine," I replied.  "I'm sure someone will give me a ride."  He kissed me and said goodbye and took off, leaving me curious about what he and James were discussing and a little annoyed that he refused to tell me about it.

When I was ready to leave, I ended up getting a ride with James, since Brody's office was most on his way.  I barely even had my car door shut when I asked, "What were you and Brody talking about?"

"Sorry Liv, I'm going to let him tell you about that," he replied.

"Seriously?  But--"

"Sorry," he interrupted, his voice firm.  "You'll have to wait and talk to Brody."  I sighed and looked out the window, feeling like a kid that had just been scolded for asking too many questions.  I was now convinced that Brody was up to something that I wouldn't be pleased about.

He insisted on parking and walking me up to Brody's floor.  He hadn't brought up Cassie at all, and I wondered briefly if he was in contact with her.  I decided I wasn't ready to know, and didn't ask.  I said goodbye to him just as Brody pushed open the door to let me into his office suite.

"Thanks for the ride," I said.  Brody echoed my thanks and then led me to his office.

"I'm almost done," he said.  I nodded and plopped down on the couch.  I pulled my Kindle out of my purse and settled in to wait.  About 15 minutes later, Brody asked if I was ready to go.  I put my Kindle away and stood.

"Will you tell me what you guys were talking about now?" I asked.

Brody sighed.  "I will, but you're not going to like it."

"I figured as much," I said with a shrug.

"I was asking him for a couple of research tips," he said simply.  I glared at him, giving him a look that clearly said, "that is not enough information and you know it."  "I want to know more about Josh."

"Josh?!" I yelped.  I took a deep breath and forced my next question to come out quieter and calmer.  "My coworker Josh?  Why?"

"Honestly, I'm not really sure why," he admitted.  "I just have a weird feeling.  He's been weird, I don't like the way he acts around you, and I don't like what I've heard from Neil."

"Brody," I said exasperatedly.

He shook his head.  "Something about that guy is off, and I don't trust him one bit.  I'm not to the point of wanting to hire James, I just want to see if there's any interesting public information on Josh.  You can be pissed at me if you want.  If it makes you feel better, I didn't just to do this to be a crazy, overprotective boyfriend.  I also don't like the way he's talked about me to you and I'm a little paranoid, given recent events."

Once he said that, I could start to understand his worry.  Josh did seem really stuck on Brody and how much money he made for some reason.  It seemed to go a little beyond typical jealousy or whatever else.  "Okay," I said, resigning myself to the fact that he was going to do this whether I liked it or not.  "Can we just go home now?"  Brody nodded and gathered his stuff.

Once we were on the road, he asked, "On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being that you've never been happier, and 10 being you're plotting how to kill me in the most painful way possible, how mad are you?"

I snorted.  "4 and a third," I replied.  "I'd be pissed if you had hired James to investigate him.  But doing a little research makes more sense when you pointed out your worry in light of recent events.  It actually does make me feel better that you're not just doing it to protect me, which was my assumption--self-absorbed as it is."

"I think that's a fair assumption, considering my tendencies to try to protect you," he said with a shrug.  "I'm glad you're not mad, though."  And then it was done.  I assumed he'd let me know if he discovered anything interesting, and I'd just as soon not worry about it unless he did.

On Saturday, Brody planned to go into the office.  I planned to ride into town with him and go to the gym, then I had plans to spend the rest of the day with Lauren and Kinsley.  We slept in and took awhile to get out of bed, but once we were up we got ready pretty quickly.

As I was pulling my shoes on, my phone began to ring from the counter.  Brody grabbed it and handed it to me.  "It's Sarah," he said.

"I'll call her later," I replied, silencing the ringer.  I sent her a text that said, "Headed to the gym, can I call you in a couple hours?"

Her reply was immediate.  "I'm in Denver, can you come get me?"  "What?" I yelped in surprise.  What was a 14 year old doing in Denver?  Was she by herself?  How did she even get here?  I quickly called her back, while holding up one finger to an impatient-looking Brody.

"Hi Liv," she answered, sounding a little bit desperate and not at all like her normal, sullen self.  "Don't lecture me, okay?  Can you please come pick me up?"

"Where are you?" I asked calmly.  Brody no longer looked impatient, and now just looked confused.

"I'm at the Greyhound station," she replied.  After a pause, she said, "Please, Liv."  She sounded scared, and I told her I was on my way.

I quickly filled Brody in, and he grabbed his keys.  "I'll drive," he said, abandoning his plan to get to work.  I gave him a grateful look.

When he pulled up I saw Sarah sitting against the building, hugging a backpack to herself.  I got out of the car and when she saw me, she jumped up and threw her arms around me and started to cry.  I hugged her back before gently disentangling myself and leading her to Brody's SUV.  I pulled open the back door and she got in and slid all the way over.  I climbed in the back with her and slid into the middle.  She immediately leaned against me and I put my arm around her.

"Back to our house?" Brody asked quietly from the front.  Sarah sat straight up, realizing there was someone else in the car.  I nodded to Brody, then introduced him to Sarah.  Sarah stared at the back of his head for several seconds before crumpling against me again.

Back at our house, I got Sarah some water.  "Are you hungry?" I asked.  She shook her head.

"Do you want me to stay or go?" Brody asked softly.  I had no idea.  I shrugged helplessly.  "I'll stay for a bit at least, just in case," he said.  "I'll just go to my office and be out of the way."  I nodded.  He headed out of the room, and I was so grateful for his support.

"Will you tell me what's going on?" I asked, sounding much calmer than I felt.   My question started a fresh round of tears.  I rubbed her back and waited for her to calm down.

Finally, she took a deep, shaky breath, and said between hiccuping sobs, "I heard Grandma on the phone, and she was saying that our mom wants us back and they're going to have to go to court."

"Oh, Sarah," I replied.  "That must have been scary to hear.  Did you ask her about it?"

"No!" she said fiercely.  "It doesn't matter!  I'm not going back with her!"

"Okay," I responded soothingly.  "So I assume she doesn't know you're here?"

"No, and please don't tell her, Liv," she begged.  "Please."  She turned her desperate eyes on me for the first time since we had picked her up, and my heart broke for her.

I squeezed her hand.  "Sarah, I have to.  She's probably worried sick about you.   She needs to know you're okay."

Sarah shook her head furiously.  "I'm not going back there!"

"Let me talk to her.  Maybe you can stay here for tonight at least.  Can I tell her why you left?"

She glared at me for several seconds.  I returned her gaze, keeping my face neutral.  Finally, she said, "Whatever, I don't care."  She pulled her knees up to her chest and put her forehead on them.  I took out my phone and called Nadine.

Jon answered.  "Jon, it's Olivia," I said.  "Sarah is here."

"What?" he practically yelled.  "What do you mean, there?  She's with you?  In Denver?"  I heard him yelling for Nadine, and a second later, she breathlessly picked up another phone.

"Yes," I confirmed.  "She's here in Denver.  At my house.  She--"

"How did she get there?" Nadine shrieked, cutting me off.  Sarah must have heard her, because she lifted her head and glanced briefly my way.

"She took the bus.  She overheard you on the phone talking about her mom, and she freaked out."

"Oh no," Nadine muttered.  "I bet she did.  We're coming, we'll be there soon."

"Wait," I said.  "Please, give her some time to calm down.  She can stay here with me tonight, if it's alright with you."

Neither of them spoke for nearly 30 seconds.  Then I heard hushed whispers.  Finally, Nadine said, "If you're okay with her staying, that's fine.  Can I talk to her?"

"Sarah?  Your grandma wants to talk to you," I told her, holding out the phone.  She shook her head stubbornly.

"Nadine, can we call you back in a couple hours?  She might be more willing to talk then."  Sarah glared at me again.  Nadine agreed, and we hung up.

Sarah asked if she could take a shower.  I walked her upstairs to the guest bathroom.  I got her a towel and a toothbrush, showed her where everything was, and then I walked downstairs and plopped onto the couch.  Brody came out of his office and sat on the couch next to me, and I let my head fall onto his shoulder and my eyes close.  He wrapped his arms around me and said, "You handled that really well."  I just relaxed further against him.

"Thank you for putting your day on hold for this.  It means a lot to me,"  I told him after a few minutes.  He squeezed my shoulders with his arm.  "I think we'll be okay here if you want to go to work now.  I probably should have checked with you, and I'm sorry, but I told them she could spend the night here.  I hope that's okay."

"Of course it is," he replied. "Are you sure you're okay if I go in for a little bit?"  I nodded and assured him we were fine.  He glanced at his watch.  "I'll come back around 6?  I can bring pizza or something if you want."

"Yes, that sounds like a good idea," I replied.  "Thank you."  I moved so he could get up, and I grabbed my phone and texted Lauren and Kinsley to let them know what was going on and that I wouldn't be making it today.

Shortly after Brody left, I heard the shower turn off.  I sighed and wondered what the hell I was going to do with a scared and angry 14 year old (that I barely knew) for the next 24 hours.