(Now) Kinsley: Not My Type

This is a "current" Kinsley series.  It takes place over the course of several weeks starting in September (about the time Liv met James).
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I looked down at my phone and got a little giddy when I saw it was Damien.  I took a breath before I answered, not wanting to sound completely ridiculously excited.  "Hello?"

"Hey," he replied.  "Can I see you tomorrow?"  I loved how he cut to the chase, but wasn't over confident or pushy.

"Yes, what do you want to do?" I asked.

"It's been a long week, do you want to just come over?  We can order something for dinner," he suggested.

My pulse picked up a little and I had to stop myself from answering "YES!" right away.  I took a breath, then said, "Sure, that sounds good."  If I played my cards right, maybe I could finally get in his pants.  This would be our 7th date, and we had yet do more than making out and some wandering hands.  I was dying, and I had no idea how he had held out this long.  If he didn't tell me constantly how beautiful I was, I would be concerned that he wasn't attracted to me.

Okay, actually, I was a little concerned that he wasn't attracted to me.  Not really because of anything he'd done, but just because my imagination was running wild with me.  I was used to second guessing everyone's intentions and I'd be lying if I said I knew any other ways to show someone they're attractive to me besides sex.  When I really thought about it though, he'd shown me in so many ways that not only was he attracted to me, but I meant a lot more than that to him.

He'd told me after a few dates that he'd broken off an engagement about a year ago and was just starting to actually date again.  I let my imagination fill in what he'd been doing for the last year, but I didn't care.  That's essentially what I'd been doing for the last year (or five) too. 

I was actually prepared to do that with Damien too, but he had some sort of inexplicable pull on me that made me want more than just sex.  I thought back over the first times I'd enjoyed his company, trying to figure out what it was about him...

We'd been out for happy hour when some guy had run into Liv, spilling her drink.  While he took her up to the bar to get a new one, the guys he had been with just sort of filtered into our group.  I had been completely absorbed in my phone, not feeling how crowded this bar was, when someone said, "You're empty.  Can I buy you another?"

I looked up in surprise, not expecting to look up into a face that was handsome and friendly.  "Um, sure, that would be nice," I replied.  Um, sure, that would be nice? I mocked myself in my head.  I'm reasonably certain that phrase had never come out of my mouth before.  He gestured for me to head towards the bar, and I did.

"My name is Damien," he said, after we had ordered drinks.

"I'm Kinsley," I said.  He repeated it carefully to make sure he had it right, something I was used to.  I smiled when he got it on the first try.  Pretty impressive for a loud, crowded bar.

"So Kinsley, what do you do?" he asked.  "That's what you're supposed to ask people after you buy them a drink, right?"

I laughed.  "Yeah, I think so," I replied.  "I'm a CPA."

He looked surprised for a second, but quickly caught himself.  "You're the prettiest CPA I've ever met," he said.

I rolled my eyes.  "Have you met many CPAs?" I challenged.

"Only the one that does my taxes, and I don't find him attractive in the least," he bantered back, with a completely straight face.

I couldn't help but laugh again.  "That's quite the trick."  He cocked his head slightly and gave me a questioning look.  "I'm sure I should feel insulted, but I don't."

He grinned.  "You shouldn't."  Even though he was clearly hitting on me, something about it was completely different than any guy who had ever flirted with me before.  Maybe it was that he was soft spoken, or that he didn't seem to take himself too seriously.  Or maybe it was just that he was not my type.  I was used to being hit on by tall, blonde, musclebound jocks, and that's the way I liked it usually.  This guy was maybe 5'10" at best, dark haired and eyed, and lean.  But his forearms were well muscled and I was sure the rest of him was too, even if he wasn't huge.

We walked back to the table with our drinks.  "Thank you," I said, shyly.  Then I remembered my social skills.  "What do you do?"

"I'm a detective," he replied.  "The guy that spilled your friend's drink used to be my partner when we were both patrol officers."

"Huh, well I bet that isn't boring," I said.

He chuckled.  "That's pretty accurate," he responded.

We chatted until Lauren dragged me away to leave.  I was drawn to his quiet confidence and the way his dark eyes stayed locked on my face and didn't wander too much, at least not while I was looking at him.  I stalled when I was saying goodbye, hoping he might ask for my number.  He didn't though, and I couldn't bring myself to ask for his.  Oh well.  He's not my type anyway.

When Liv and I had been at that new restaurant and James and Damien came in, I quickly made the decision to invite them to join us, even though I knew Liv would be pissed.  I was willing to deal with Liv later, because I needed to talk to Damien again.

It's a good thing Liv decided to converse with James because I was almost completely unaware of them the entire time.  Damien and I interacted almost exclusively with each other, and I knew I'd be doing some apologizing to Liv.  But for some reason, I just couldn't draw my attention away from him. 

As we walked out, Damien said, "I'd like to see you again.  Can I take you out sometime?"  My stomach turned 3 backflips as I nodded, forgetting how to use words for a second. We exchanged numbers and made plans to go out that Thursday.  I was seriously giddy, and I felt like I was in high school all over again.

Our first actual date was a balancing act for me: finding the perfect mix of showing him I was interested, without showing too much of anything.  Giving too much away made me anxious.  What if he decided he wasn't actually interested in me, but I had already shown my hand?  I'd feel so stupid.  At the same time, I had learned the hard way that if I gave away nothing, I might give him the impression I wasn't interested in him, which would be just as bad.  I spent so much time trying to stay completely in control of what I was showing him, that I honestly don't even remember what we talked about.  It was a nice date though, simple.  He'd turned out to be a guy that didn't plan elaborate, creative dates, and I liked that about him.  It was way less about impressing me, and more about getting to know each other.

I think it was the simplicity, along with his openness about his past and willingness to be vulnerable, that started to crack my walls.  It was a little terrifying at first, and I scrambled for control.  But, my birthday was my undoing.  I should have known better than to drink so much, but after he finally kissed me, I couldn't even deny to myself anymore that I was totally head over heels for this guy that I hadn't known for very long.

I had walked into the house to use the bathroom shortly after Damien and James had arrived.  When I came out, he was leaning against the kitchen counter, waiting for me.  I was already a little drunk, so I'm sure I bounded over eagerly when he motioned to me.  "Did I tell you that you look beautiful?" he asked softly, his fingers brushing lightly over my hair.

"You did," I replied, smiling.  "Thank you."  He smiled back, then slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me gently closer to him.  My heart rate picked up as he glanced at my lips before bringing his eyes back to mine.  He leaned forward and touched his lips to mine, softly, briefly.  The second they touched, I wanted him to fuck me right there on the counter.  Then he pulled away and I almost melted from the smoldering look he gave me.

I took a half step closer to him so our hips were touching, and he tangled his fingers in my hair and kissed me again, with an intensity that left my legs shaking and the breath running from my lungs.  When he pulled back this time, he rested his forehead gently against mine and said, "I just wanted to do that before you were too drunk to appreciate it."

I wanted to kiss him again, but Kevin came in, breaking the spell.  I reluctantly pulled away, grateful that we hadn't been interrupted sooner at least.

I spent the rest of the day on cloud 9, but still managed to get sloppy drunk.  Just before we went out to the bar, I stole a second alone with Damien.  I avoided kissing him, not wanting to ruin the perfect kiss from earlier with a sloppy, drunken kiss now, but before I could lock down my mouth, the thoughts I'd been trying to keep to myself since the first night we met spilled out.  "You know, you have the strangest effect on me," I told him, stumbling a little over my words.

"Do I?" he asked, smiling slightly.  He looked amused, but not in a mocking way.

"You do," I confirmed.  "It's unnerving.  But I kind of like it."

He regarded me carefully, then said, "Do I get to know the nature of this strange, unnerving, but kind of pleasant effect I have on you?"  It took me a minute to wrap my drunk brain around his sentence, and for a second, I wondered if he purposely made it complicated to fuck with me.  But then I decided I didn't care if he did.

"I like you," I mumbled, looking down.  "A lot."

He gently tilted my head back up and said, "You say that like it's a bad thing."

"I don't know yet if it's a good thing or a bad thing," I replied, and this was easily the most honest and vulnerable I'd been around a man in years.  Since Michael, maybe, if you can even count that.  Emboldened by my drunkenness, I finished by asking, "What do you think?"

The slight grin playing at the corners of his mouth widened into a real smile.  He kissed me softly on the forehead and said, "I think that I want it to be a good thing for you.  I like you too, Kinsley.  A lot.  I like hearing your thoughts uninhibited.  Maybe you can try to do it more often when you haven't been drinking?"   

Fat chance of that, was my first thought.  But my second thought was the one that came out my mouth.  "I can try." This was different.  A man, sharing his thoughts with me.  I wasn't quite sure what to make of it, but it did make me want to try to open up.  At least right now it did, while I was drunk.  Even my skin felt like it was buzzing, just from being close to him.  And...the vodka probably also had something to do with it.

"Should we go?" he asked, brushing his thumb across my cheekbone.  I nodded, and I let him lead me outside.