Another One Bites the Dust

Well, another person is gone from work.  This one quit, and she did it with very little notice, which I think is always stupid because burning bridges is generally a poor choice in my book.  But either way, if things don't improve in the next few months, I'm going to have to start looking for something else.  I didn't come here to spend all my life at work.  I'm stuck for 6 months per my contract (at the time it seemed a small price to pay for getting the moving bonus, but now I can see why they were willing to pay a moving bonus!) but I'm definitely going to start looking at my options.

So, this week I was back to being super busy again.  On top of that, I was starting to stress out about my date with James.  I was questioning the decision to go out with him.  Part of me was holding out hope that at the end of 60 days (only a couple more weeks, at this point) Brody would be back.  The couple times I had talked to him he sounded so tired and miserable, and I didn't think he could possibly want to stay for that.  But, even if he came back, it didn't necessarily mean that we'd get back together (and really, we were never even really together in the first place) or that things would be the same.  I was seriously over-analyzing everything, and I called Lauren on Thursday for a reality check.

After spewing all my thoughts from the past week at her, the first thing she said was, "Olivia, you are a total head case."  Not exactly what I was hoping for, but it was what I was expecting.

"I know!" I wailed.  "That's why I called you!  Help me not be a head case."

"Oh, sweetheart," she said, a note of sympathy in her voice.  "Look--I think you need to stop worrying about what Brody's doing or not doing.  If he comes back, he comes back and you go from there.  But you can't just sit around and plan your life around what he might or might not do.  You don't know.  So you can sit here and wait, and pass up the opportunity to go on some dates with a potentially great guy, just to find out that Brody is staying in Miami forever, or you can decide to go ahead and live your life now.  If Brody comes back, figure it out then.  If he doesn't, at least you didn't put your life on hold."

She was right.  It was good perspective and I appreciated it, but it didn't really help me not be really nervous and stressed out come Friday.  I didn't get home until almost 7, which left me all of about an hour to get ready.  I jumped in the shower quick and then pulled on the dress I had picked out.  I dried my hair and did my makeup and was finishing up the last curl in my hair when the doorbell rang.  I quickly ran my hands through the curls to loosen them then ran down the stairs.

"Hi!" I said, pulling the door open.  "Sorry, I got out of work late, I'm almost ready."

"Hi," James said with a smile.  "Don't worry, take your time.  You look beautiful already though, so I can't imagine what else you need to do."   He looked down at my feet.  "Oh, I guess shoes would probably be helpful, at least!"

"I thought I'd go without," I said with a grin.  "Maybe start a new trend."   He laughed and shook his head.  "You can sit if you want, I'll literally just be a minute or two.  Do you want something to drink?"  He shook his head and thanked me, and made his way over to the couch.  I ran upstairs to finish.  I went back into the bathroom and worked a little pequi oil into my hair and finger combed the curls, then put on my necklace and earrings and grabbed my shoes.  I slipped them on as I walked out of my room.

When I got downstairs, James was standing, looking at the pictures I had around the living and dining area.  He looked up as I walked around the bottom of the stairs.  "Sorry, I'm being nosy," he admitted.

"Don't be, that's what they're there for," I laughed a little.  Why was I so nervous?  I am a nervous giggler, so I hoped it would go away soon, or I'd be giggling all night.   He asked me a couple questions about the pictures and then we left.  He opened the car door for me and I realized I was starting to take it for granted.  Someday, someone would not open the car door for me and I'd stand there like an idiot waiting for it.

"So where are we going?" I asked curiously, as he pulled away from the curb.  He wouldn't tell me when he had called to finalize details with me, he'd only told me that casual dress was okay.  

"Well, when we had drinks last week, you had mentioned that soul food restaurant at home that you loved.  So I found a place here that sounded similar." I was impressed that he had remembered and used the information to pick a restaurant for tonight.  "I've never been there, but I got the recommendation from a very trusted source, so I'm sure it will be great.  I guess it's a pretty casual place, but the food is supposed to be excellent.  I hope that's okay."  He laughed and looked sideways at me, and I realized that he was nervous too.

"Are you kidding?  It sounds perfect.  Really thoughtful," I assured him honestly.  He looked relieved, but for some reason, his nervousness made me even more nervous.

The first thing I did was order a glass of wine.  It disappeared quickly.  Halfway through the second, I was still struggling to make conversation.  I excused myself to go to the bathroom.  In the bathroom, I took some deep breaths and gave myself a silent pep talk.  I was being absolutely ridiculous.

When I returned back to the table, feeling a little calmer, our appetizers had arrived.  At least that would give me something to do besides drink.  I finished the rest of my second glass of wine while we were enjoying the appetizers.  Conversation started to flow a little better, and even though I knew I shouldn't, I got a third glass of wine.

The rest of the food came quickly, and it was amazing.  I smiled to myself as I enjoyed a bite of beef brisket.  "Well, is it as good as the place at home?" James asked, seeing my smile.

"Actually, it's better," I responded.

"Good," he said, flashing an easy smile.  His confident demeanor was starting to return.  It actually put me a little more at ease.  When our server came by and asked if I wanted more wine, I made a smart choice and asked for water.  I opted out of dessert, and we decided to walk to a nearby bar that had a rooftop patio.

It was a gorgeous night to be outside, and as we sat with our drinks, James pointed out various buildings and landmarks that I wasn't familiar with.  Conversation got easier and easier and before I knew it, I was chatting freely.  A little alarm bell went off in the back of my head that I had probably had a little too much to drink and needed to be careful, but I blocked it out and started talking about the crappy things going on at work.  It didn't take long for me to get worked up about it either (thanks alcohol!).

You know how some girls have rules about how many dates they need to go on before they'll kiss the guy, or have sex with him?  I have no such rules--when it's right, it's right.  My only rule is to never have more than 2 drinks on a date, because I get drunk so easily.  I had gotten away with three on my not-date with James just because we had been there for four hours  But here I was on number 5 in just a couple short hours, and it wasn't pretty.

James, thankfully, listened patiently and made appropriately supportive comments.  When the server came around, I asked for a glass of water.  I wasn't so drunk that I didn't know I was drunk, at least.

I wobbled unsteadily on my heels when we stood to leave.  James put an arm around my waist to steady me, and even in the state I was in, butterflies fluttered in my stomach.   After assessing my walking abilities, he seemed to decide it would be safest to keep it there.  I didn't mind one bit. 

I was out of my over-sharing phase and into my sleepy phase, and I was quiet on the ride home.  After James parked, I struggled with my seatbelt.  I was still fighting with it when James pulled my door open.  He laughed and reached across me, unbuckling it easily.  He offered me a hand and pulled me up out of the car.  When we got to my front door, I finally began to feel a little embarrassed.

"I am so sorry," I started, struggling not to slur. 

"Hey, don't worry about it," he cut me off, gently.  "It happens to the best of us."  I struggled to get my key in the lock.  He gently took them out of my hand, unlocked the door, and pushed it open.  "Please take off those shoes so you don't kill yourself on the stairs," he said, chuckling.  I did, blushing a little.  I looked up at him.  He didn't even look irritated.  If the roles were reversed, I'd be irritated.

"Thank you," I managed.  "Choosing that restaurant was really thoughtful.  I loved it."  He smiled at me and kissed me on the cheek.

"You're welcome, I'm glad you enjoyed it.  I'm going to go, you should get some rest."  He pulled me into a quick hug, and then left.

I was so focused on getting upstairs and ready for bed without tumbling over that I didn't even realize until I was in bed that he hadn't mentioned another date.  I wouldn't have either, if I were him.