(Then) Lauren

The Smart Friend Part 3

August

I step off the plane and tug self-consciously at the hem of my skirt.  Even though I had gotten used to my new wardrobe over the weeks I spent at Amanda's, being home made me feel like a skirt newbie all over again.  I wonder briefly what my mom will think, and chuckle to myself about Liv being right when she joked that I'd come back wearing makeup and dresses.

I had a text waiting from my mom when the plane landed, telling me that there had been an accident on the beltway and she was going to be late picking me up.  I wait for my suitcases (I had to buy another small one while I was out there to accommodate the new clothes I had picked up with Amanda's help) and then haul them out to a bench outside.  I wrinkle my nose at the air, thick with humidity.  I hadn't missed that in Denver.

As I sit on the bench and wait for my mom to arrive, I think back over the 6 weeks I spent with Amanda.  In no time, my thoughts have drifted to Ron.  I sigh, thinking about him.  One of Amanda's friends, Ron had made me realize that guys could be interested in me.  Not that anything inappropriate had happened.  He was 22, and honorable enough that he hadn't even kissed me.  I wish he would have, though.  My cheeks got warm at the thought.  Ron had found stupid excuses to come to Amanda's house, including a few times when he knew she wouldn't be there.  We had spent a lot of time talking, laughing, and cuddling.

In fact, it was the attention from Ron that helped me let Amanda take me shopping for clothes and makeup.  It turned out that when I tried, I was actually pretty good at doing my hair and putting together outfits.  The makeup was hopeless, but I figured that a little lip gloss and mascara would be shocking enough to the people at home.  And anyway, Liv was good with makeup, so maybe she could help me.

Liv and I have plans for tomorrow, and I'm nervous and excited to see her.  We talked a few times while I was in Denver, and I may have mentioned getting some new clothes, but I'm sure the extent of the change will be shocking to her.  I've always been a little nervous that she hung out with me so I could be "the ugly friend" and make her look better, so I'm worried that my new look might change our friendship. 

When my mom pulls up, her eyes widen at the sight of me.  "Lauren!" she exclaims, enveloping me in a tight hug.  "I missed you honey, did you have fun?  Did you, um, get some new clothes?"

"Hi mom!" I say back, my voice muffled.  "I had a great time, and yes, I obviously got some new clothes.  What do you think?" The last question I ask tentatively, scanning her face as she answers.

"You look beautiful honey, but you're always beautiful."  That's a safe answer.  She helps me put my stuff in the trunk and we drive home.  She doesn't mention the makeup or say anything else about the clothes.  I give her a rundown on my time, leaving out the bars and Ron and the all the other less than savory details. I'm not surprised when she tells me to unpack right away when we get home.  Back to reality, I guess.

The next day, I decide to ease Liv into my new self and opt for a pair of shorts and cute top, straighten my hair, and put on lip gloss, blush, and mascara.  Liv's eyes practically bug out of her head when she sees me.  She hugs me tightly and then shrieks, "Oh my god, you look hot!"  The other people at the pizza place give her rude looks but she doesn't even notice, she's too busy checking me out.  "Did your sister brainwash you?"

I laugh uneasily.  "Something like that," I respond. 

"Seriously, Laur, you look great.  I love it," she gushes.  I relax.  It was silly to worry that she'd like me less now that I was wearing accessories and makeup.  We catch up, and she tells me that she made out with Tommy at a party and he was a terrible kisser.  She's decided it's time to get a little more serious and is apparently swearing off boys for awhile.  I roll my eyes.  That will last about a week, I'm sure.

I tell her about Denver, but I leave out Ron.  For some reason, I like it better that no one knows.  And I don't want Liv to know that I changed my whole look for a guy, even though he liked me before I became Amanda 2.0.

I make my debut with Liv and Lynn at a field party the next weekend.  I always hated field parties.  It meant sitting around, getting eaten alive by mosquitoes while Liv and Lynn fended off every guy at the party and got drunk.  As we step out of my dad's Jeep and wade through the tall grass to the area that was trampled down, I feel like everyone is looking at me.  I slow my stride, but Liv grabs my hand and pulls.  "Come on," she whispers.

We walk over to the coolers, and Lynn immediately starts flirting with one of the guys standing there.  Within seconds, we all have a beer in our hands.  

"Lauren?" comes a questioning voice from behind me.  I turn and see Kyle.  He looks confused.  He takes in my shorts, which are way shorter than anything I've ever worn in public in Wisconsin before, and my tight, pink tank top, then his eyes rest on my face.  "Hi, you look...good." 

"Hi, Kyle," I respond.  "Thanks.  How was your summer?"  We make small talk for awhile, but it's awkward.  Liv pulls me away after a few minutes.  This party is different than any that I had gone with Liv and Lynn to.  This time, instead of me sitting awkwardly to the side while boys talk to Liv and Lynn, the guys talk to all three of us.  I receive more attention--male and female--tonight than I have in my entire life combined up to this point.  I thought that it would make me happy, but I find myself increasingly irritated that no one cared until I put on a skirt and some lip gloss.

Later, I'm quiet as I drive us to Lynn's house.  We're spending the night there, like we always do after parties.  Lynn's parents are the only ones that don't wait up.

"What's wrong, Laur?" Liv asks, as we're laying down for bed.

"Nothing," I say, but even I'm not convinced.

She tosses a pillow at me.  "Spill," she instructs, sitting up and looking at me.  Lynn is already sleeping.

I sigh.  "I just think it sucks that all these guys that only ever talked to me find out what your weekend plans were are suddenly interested because they can see my legs."  I expect Liv to tell me to suck it up and enjoy, but she nods seriously.

"They suck," she agrees.  "You're still the same person you always were, you just have different wrapping paper on."

I roll my eyes.  "Liv, that's a terrible analogy," I start, ready to provide a better one.  She laughs.

"See?  Point proven."  She smiles smugly at me.   "But if they couldn't see how amazing you were before you discovered makeup, then they don't deserve to enjoy it now."

"So what do I do?" I asked.  "I feel entirely unprepared to walk back into school now."

She shrugged.  "Just do what you always do, Laur.  Give 'em hell."