Birthday Stress

On Thursday, I was at happy hour when I got a text from Brody asking if he could stay at my house for the night.  I texted back and said of course, and asked if he could pick me up from happy hour.  He responded that he was on his way and would stop in and say hi and maybe have a drink.

"Hello?" Lauren was saying, as I put my phone down.  "Earth to Olivia, people are talking to you."

I looked up at her in confusion.  "What?"

She huffed and rolled her eyes.  "Kinsley just asked you where you want to go out for dinner for your birthday, so we can make plans and reservations and all that important stuff.  What is with you tonight?"

"Sorry," I replied contritely.  "Honestly, my birthday is stressing me out.  I have no idea where I want to go."

Kinsley and Kendra made a couple suggestions and I chose one randomly.  "I'll make a reservation for 8 people at 8pm?" Kinsley said.  I nodded.  I didn't care.  I honestly would have been fine just being at home for my birthday, but it didn't seem like that was going to happen.

"Why does your birthday stress you out?" Kendra asked curiously.  Lauren had checked out of the conversation and was whispering to Alex.  She knows how I feel about my birthday, but I understood why she was frustrated with me.

I considered to how to answer Kendra, and decided to just answer honestly.  "I'm going to sound like a huge brat, but when I was growing up, my parents always made a super huge deal about my birthday, and it was always a really awesome day.  My friends were always great on my birthday as I got older too.  Then I started dating my ex, John, and every single year on my birthday, something bad would happen.  I was so used to people making a big deal about my birthday that it just really sucked to have someone I love not care about it at all.  I mean, it's not like I even wanted him to throw me a party and get me a gift...I'm not a total spoiled brat.  Just a card and a 'happy birthday' and not picking a fight with me would have been awesome."

"So that asshole ruined her birthday for the last three years, and now she forgets that she's with people that actually care about her and want her to have a good birthday," Lauren piped up.  I flushed, embarrassed.

"I don't think that's bratty," Kendra said kindly.  "But it sounds like an ex-issue, not a birthday-issue."

"It is," I replied.  "And trust me, I feel stupid for even being upset about it.  But now I just kind of wait for the bad things to happen on my birthday, you know?  The first year we were dating he forgot about it completely, made plans with his friends, and didn't even care that my feelings were a little hurt. That wasn't really a big deal, but last year we broke up the day before my birthday.  And the year before he got in an accident with my car on my birthday because he was driving like an idiot.   So, I'm just kind of over birthdays."

"Well this one will be better, and you can leave crappy birthdays behind," Kinsley said brightly. 

"Whoa, look at this stranger!" Alex said, suddenly, taking the heat off me and my birthday hatred.  We all looked up and saw Brody approaching.  He grinned.

"Hey guys!" he greeted us.  He pulled up a chair next to me and kissed me quickly.

"Where the hell have you been?" Alex asked.

"Working my ass off, you should try it," Brody shot back.  But he was smiling.

"No thanks, man.  You look rough.  I couldn't do that to this work of art," he replied, gesturing to his face.  We all laughed.  Brody did look rough, though.  He hadn't shaved in a few days and he had obvious dark circles under his eyes.  His tie was loosened and crooked and his jacket was badly wrinkled.  He looked like he had slept in his clothes, and I wondered briefly if he had.

"Don't let me interrupt," Brody said, looking at us.

"No, please do," I replied quickly.  He looked at me curiously, and Lauren happily jumped in.

"We were just discussing why Liv hates her birthday and why she's ridiculous for it," Lauren said.  Now, though, her tone was light and she was smiling.

"Hmmm, I'm not sure I know why Liv hates her birthday," Brody said, raising his eyebrows at me.

"I'm sure she'll tell you about it later," Kendra broke in.  "Why don't you tell us what you've been up to."  I gave her a grateful look.  I was quite finished talking about my birthday.

Brody gave them a quick rundown on what was new with him and we all chatted for about 15 more minutes before he turned to me and asked if I was ready.  As we were standing up, Kinsley caught Brody's arm.  She told him the plan for Saturday and asked him to make sure I got there and didn't try to ditch out on the plans.  He laughed and assured her that he would.

"Okay," he said, when we got in the car.  "What's the deal with your birthday?"

"It's stupid and it doesn't matter, because my birthday is going to be great," I said brightly, hoping to convince him.

"I don't think so," he replied.  "Spill it."  So I did.

"You know, John didn't seem like that big of a dick when I met him," Brody mused when I was finished.  "Apparently he puts on a good show."

"He's a decent guy, he's just a terrible boyfriend," I replied.  "It's funny, because the year we knew each other before we started dating, he actually got me a gift and everything for my birthday.  We were just not a good pair, and it took us both way too long to realize it."  I shrugged and looked out the window, really ready to be done talking about my birthday and John.  Brody glanced at me, then reached for my hand.  I laced my fingers with his and was thankful that he didn't ask anymore about it.

When we got to my house, Brody looked at me sheepishly.  "Is it okay if we just go to bed?  And sleep, I mean?  I'm so tired." 

"I figured that's what you'd want to do," I said.   I let him get ready for bed first, and by the time I came out of the bathroom, he looked like he was asleep.  I climbed carefully into bed next to him, hoping I wouldn't wake him.  Without opening his eyes, he found my hand and slipped his fingers between mine.  Even exhausted and half asleep he needed to touch me.

Brody's alarm went off early, and he silenced it quickly.  A few minutes later he got out of bed, and then I heard the shower.  I drifted back to sleep, because I still had almost two hours before I needed to get up.  At some point, I became vaguely aware of Brody sitting on the edge of the bed next to me.  He pushed my hair out of my face.  "Have a good day, Liv, I love you," he said. 

"Mmhmm," I managed.  He chuckled and kissed my forehead before leaving. 

I got done with work by early afternoon, since I was still training.  I decided to drop off some lunch and coffee for Brody.  I stopped by his favorite coffee shop and grabbed him coffee and a sandwich, then headed to his office.

I planned to just leave it with his receptionist to deliver because I didn't want to interrupt anything, but Brody and Todd were standing near the reception desk talking when I walked in.  Brody looked surprised but smiled broadly at me.  Todd greeted me warmly.

"Hey guys, I'm sorry.  I was just going to drop this off for you and take off.  I don't want to distract you, I'm sure you're really busy."

"Actually, I was just leaving to head to the airport, and I know Brody hasn't eaten lunch yet," Todd replied.  I let Brody say goodbye to Todd and walk him out.  He motioned for me to stay, so I did.

When he came back in, he grabbed my hand and pulled me back towards his office.  "I really wasn't going to stay," I protested.  "I don't want to interrupt.  I just wanted to drop lunch and coffee off for you."

"Do you have to go back to work?" he asked.  I shook my head.  "Then stay while I eat at least.  I actually don't have much to do for the next hour or so."  I shrugged and followed him into his office.  He pulled the door shut behind us and kissed me.  "Thank you, this is the highlight of my week," he said with a grin, pulling off his jacket and hanging it carefully on the back of his chair.  He led me over to the couch and we sat and looked out over downtown Denver while he ate.  When he was done he pulled me over to him and we sat and talked for about 20 more minutes before he had to get back to work.

He walked me out and down to my car, pulling open the driver's door for me.  He leaned in and kissed me.  "You made my day," he said, when he had pulled away.  "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"  I nodded, and we said goodbye.

Cassie knocked on my door shortly after I got home.  "Let's go!" she said brightly.

"Go where?" I asked, completely confused.

"Shopping!  You're going to find something new to wear tomorrow for your birthday."

"Do I have to?" I asked.

"I'm going to ignore that.  Put some shoes on, grab your purse and coat, and let's go."

"Why are you even home?  Shouldn't you be at work?" I asked, stalling.

"I know the boss, and it's his girlfriend's birthday this weekend, so getting the afternoon off was easy," she said, winking.  "Come onnnnn!"  I was clearly not getting out of this, so I put my shoes back on and grabbed my stuff.

I ended up having a good time and finding a new outfit, complete with new shoes and jewelry.  We went out for dinner and drinks, then I put everything on together when I got home and modeled it for Cassie.  She was satisfied, and I was happy.  I took a picture and texted it to Lauren and Kinsley, who both approved enthusiastically.  Cassie stayed for awhile, and by the time she left, I was thinking that maybe this birthday would be good after all.