Judged

Despite Brody's assurances, I was nervous about having dinner with Todd on Tuesday.  Cassie came over after work Monday to help me pick out an outfit.  She sat on my bed as I modeled some of the options I was considering, then dug through my closet and produced the perfect outfit in seconds.

"Why don't I have that ability?" I asked.

"Because you're blessed with good genes and skill with a makeup brush.  You can't have it all, you selfish bitch!"  she said, laughing.

I laid across my bed and looked up at her.  "Have you talked to Nick?" I asked.

She sighed dramatically and leaned back against the wall.  "Yeah, he called.  I decided to give it one more try.  Aside from his lack of kissing common sense, he really seems great."

"I support that," I replied.  "You'll have to let me know how it goes.  Maybe he was just nervous."

"Yeah, let's hope it's that," she said, laughing.  "You were gone all weekend," she continued, raising her eyebrows at me.  "You've been having an awful lot of sleepovers with Brody."

I blushed.  "Yeah, we have been," I confirmed.

"Have you guys talked about moving in together?" she asked.

"What?" I exclaimed.  "Are you nuts?  We've only been dating for...well, I don't even know because I don't know if I should count July and August, but not that long!"

Cassie shrugged.  "So what?  You guys have done everything fast, and it seems to be working for you.  You can't deny that your relationship is serious."

She was right, I couldn't deny that.  I didn't even try.

"Have you talked future stuff at all?" she continued.

I shook my head.  "Not at all, and honestly, I haven't even thought about it myself.  I just really like the way things are right now and I'm enjoying that without thinking too much about what might happen in the future."

"That's reasonable," Cassie admitted.

"Yes, every once in awhile I am reasonable," I said with a smirk. 

"Well I'm just glad you're happy," she said, ignoring my sarcasm.


I rushed home after work on Tuesday to get ready.  I was struggling with the zipper of my dress when Brody knocked and came in.  "Hello?" he called.

"I'm up here!" I yelled back.  He came upstairs and found me contorted trying to reach to get the zipper up the last inch.  Back zippers are the worst, why do they even exist?  He stepped over to me and finished zipping it, then fastened the hook at the top.

"You look amazing," he said when I had turned back around to face him.  I thanked him as I slipped my shoes on, then I put my hands on his chest and kissed him.  He caught me around the waist as I started to pull away and kissed me again, lingering with his lips on mine for several seconds.

"Careful," I warned, smiling, "or we'll end up late for dinner." 

"That would be awful," he said, tightening his fingers on my waist and kissing me again.

Reluctantly, I pulled away.  He frowned.  "I'm not letting you be late to dinner with a potential future business partner, even if it is a social dinner," I said, taking his hand and walking towards the stairs. 

"Fine," he grumbled, trailing me downstairs.  He took his tie off and tossed it at my chair.  "I'm not wearing that to dinner," he said stubbornly when I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Was your day okay?" I asked.  He seemed crabby. 

"It was fine," he said, softening his tone.  "Just long.  I'm glad it's done and I'll be even more glad when we're back here after dinner.  Can I stay tonight?"

"I was hoping you would," I said, putting my coat on.  Out in the driveway, he opened the car door for me and gave me a hand to get in.  I loved that he still opened the door for me.  As usual, he waited until I was settled and had my seatbelt on to shut the door.

On the way to the restaurant we talked a little bit about our days.  He looked tired and stressed, and I wondered if things weren't going well with Todd there.

Todd was waiting for us just inside the door of the restaurant.  He greeted Brody cheerfully and shook my hand firmly when Brody introduced me.  "It's so nice to meet you, Olivia.  You look lovely."  He flashed a charming smile as I returned his pleasantries.   His easy manner put me at ease quickly, and my nervousness disappeared.  Brody was fidgeting next to me, though.  I took his hand and squeezed it gently as we were shown to our table.  He gave me a quick smile and squeezed back.

Todd ordered a bottle of wine for the table and we got some appetizers to start with.  Brody still looked nervous and stressed out, and I was completely baffled because Todd was perfectly pleasant and seemed really easy going.  He stuck to his word and didn't mention business once, which was nice for me.

When Todd got up to use the restroom before dessert, I turned to Brody, who had been tense through the entire meal.  It was subtle, and Todd probably hadn't even noticed, but between his leg shaking up and down under the table and the muscles in his jaw and neck flexing every few seconds, it was obvious to me.  "Are you okay?" I asked. 

He pushed a hand through his hair, then quickly smoothed it back down.  "I'm fine," he replied quickly.

"Now who's trying to avoid talking about feelings?" I said in a gently teasing tone.

He took a deep breath.  I had never seen him looking this stressed and nervous.  "I am, I promise.  I'll tell you more about it after dinner, okay?"  I nodded and moved my chair a little closer to his so I could rest my hand on his leg.  He slid his hand under mine and our fingers intertwined.

Todd returned and our dessert came shortly after.  When the waiter brought the bill, Brody and Todd both reached for it.  Todd got his hands on it first.  "Let me get it," Brody said.

"This is a social dinner and I invited you guys, so I'm paying.  If this was business, I'd certainly let you pay, but I won't hear it tonight.  I won't have Olivia thinking I'm complete social clod."

"I would never," I said with a smile.

"Even so," he replied, returning my smile and slipping a credit card into the book.  After the bill was settled, we lingered for a few more minutes.  I excused myself to go use the restroom before we left.  When I returned to the table, Brody stood and asked if I was ready.  He looked much more relaxed that he had earlier.

We all walked out together and when we were in the car, I turned expectantly to Brody.  "He seems nice," I said nonchalantly.

"He liked you.  Thanks for coming," Brody said back, smiling at me quickly before pulling into traffic.  Traffic was light and we got back to my house shortly.  As I unlocked my door, Brody asked for tylenol.  "I have a terrible headache," he admitted, grimacing.  I slid my shoes off and grabbed him some ibuprofen and a bottle of water, then sat on the couch.  He took his jacket off and tossed it on the chair his tie was already laying on, then laid across the couch, dropping his head onto my lap.  I raked my fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp.

"So are you going to tell me why you looked like you were about to jump out of your seat and flee the restaurant all through dinner?" I asked gently.

"I'll try," he started.  "I'm not sure how much sense it makes."  He paused, and I waited quietly for him to go on.  "Okay, so when I worked for my dad, I was constantly being watched, and judged, and ridiculed, and it was really stressful.  One of my favorite things about starting up the Denver branch was being away from him, because he couldn't watch my every move and comment and be a dick.  Having Todd here checking things out reminds me having my dad there watching, even though he hasn't judged or ridiculed or been a dick.  He has made a couple of perfectly logical, friendly suggestions, and that was bad enough."

I considered this for a minute.  I had seen firsthand how Brody's dad affected him.  I had felt like I barely knew him after the hour we spent at dinner with his dad.  "That actually makes a lot of sense," I responded.  "But I'm not sure I understand why you were still so stressed at dinner."

He sat up.  "Because I was already in the mindset of feeling like I was being judged by Todd.  And since he last knew me when I couldn't take any relationships seriously, I felt like he was definitely judging our relationship.  And I'd much rather he judge me than judge you.  Not that there's anything to judge."

I laughed at that.  "Um, have you met me?  But I can't say I'm shocked that you'd rather be judged than have me be judged.  After I came back from the bathroom, you looked better.  What happened while I was gone?"

"He told me that you seemed really great and he could tell I was really happy with you, and that he was happy for me."  I smiled at this.  "So thank you again for going.  I feel pretty stupid being so stressed out after I told you not to be stressed out."

"I'm happy that I got to meet him," I replied, leaning against his chest and yawning.

"I don't know if I'll get to see you again before Saturday," he said after a few minutes.

I frowned.  "I'm going to pretend you didn't say that," I said.  "You can always stay here some night so you don't have to go all the way home.  Even if you just come here to sleep, it's better than nothing." 

"That sounds like a good plan," he agreed.