Defeated

I just got a ton of writing done, and this post is a little shorter than usual.  I think it makes a great bonus then!  Plus we have not had much Brody and Liv lately.  Enjoy :)
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I didn't see much of Brody or Ken for a good portion of the week.  Ken stuck mostly to the lower level of the house.  On Wednesday, I invited him up to have dinner with me.  He declined politely, leaving me to eat by myself.  I put the leftovers in the fridge for Brody, then went upstairs to relax in the bathtub for awhile.  When I got out of the tub, I heard voices downstairs, and I pulled on a pair of a shorts and a t-shirt and wandered down to find Brody and Ken laughing in the kitchen.  Brody was heating up the food I'd put in the fridge for him while Ken was making himself a sandwich.  Even though I knew it was irrational, I was a little disappointed that Ken would happily join Brody but not me.

"Hey, Liv," Brody said as I walked into the kitchen.  I greeted both of them.  Brody looked exhausted, but still grinned at me as I jumped up onto the counter next to where he was standing and eating.  Ken stuck around for about 90 more seconds then said goodnight and took his sandwich downstairs.

I tried not to take it personally and said, "How was your day?"

"Better now that I'm home," he replied, putting his plate in the sink and coming to stand in between my knees.  When I was sitting on the counter, we were almost eye to eye.  "How was yours?"

"Better now that you're home," I said, grinning at him.  He laughed, which quickly turned to a yawn, then kissed me lightly.

"Don't get too excited about it," he warned me.  "All I want to do is go to bed.  And sleep."

"I don't blame you," I replied.  "And that's fine with me!"

We headed upstairs and I let Brody have the bathroom to get ready for bed first.  By the time I was done washing my face and brushing my teeth, Brody was already sprawled face down under the blankets.  I almost laughed.  He looked like an exhausted little kid that had just sort of tumbled into bed and gotten covered up with a blanket by his parents.  He stirred when I got into bed and scooted over a little, throwing his arm over mine.

"Comfy?" I asked.

"Mmmmm."

I laughed softly.  "Goodnight, I love you."

"Love you too," he mumbled, his voice seriously muffled by the pillow.  I chuckled again and got comfortable.


I was making some phone calls at work the next day when Josh came in and made himself comfortable in the armchair in the corner.  I finished one phone call, then immediately dialed the next.  When I was done leaving a message, I hung up and looked up at him expectantly.

"Where have you been?" he asked pleasantly.  "I feel like I've hardly seen you."

That's because I've been avoiding you.  "I don't know," I said, keeping my voice polite.  "I've been here.  I've been busy, lots of client appointments."

"That's kind of why I'm here," he replied.  I looked at him, confused.  "I have a client I need to refer out.  I thought you'd be a really good fit for her."

"I'm full right now, but thanks for thinking of me," I responded.  I started to turn back to my computer, thinking we were done, but he kept talking.

"Well, Kelly said you had a client you wanted to transfer to a male therapist," he said.  That was true.  I had a teenage boy I'd been seeing for about a month that I thought would work better with a male therapist.  I had been planning to transfer him when I reduced my hours, then ended up unexpectedly closing with another client that was moving.  "We could switch."

"We could," I agreed hesitantly.  I didn't trust Josh, but from everything I heard, he was a great therapist.  "Let me talk to Kelly."

"Sure," he said, easily agreeing.  He stood up and walked to the door, then paused, turning back around.  He leaned against the doorframe and said, "Look, I've been kind of a dick to you, and I'm sorry.  I had some shitty stuff happening in my life and I took it out on you.  Not that it makes it okay, or anything."

Not really sure how to respond, I just thanked him.  He nodded and walked out.  I was surprised by his apology, but it didn't do much to change my lack of trust in him.  When I got a break later in the day, I went to Kelly's office and we talked about switching our clients.  In the end, we decided it was what was most clinically appropriate for both clients and she gave me the go ahead to arrange the transition with Josh.  He was gone for the day, so I didn't get another chance to talk to him about it.

After work, I headed out to happy hour, relieved to see Lauren and Alex both there, and looking perfectly friendly.  I greeted them and went to get a drink.  By the time I came back, Christian and Kendra were there.  It was almost like our old happy hours, we were just missing Brody and Kinsley.  "Any updates on the roommate situation?" Lauren asked.  "Any more...interruptions?"  She dissolved into laughter as my face turned bright red, then of course she relayed the story to the group, despite my protests.

"Sometimes I hate you," I grumbled.  "But no, no more interruptions.  I don't know, things are weird.  He's avoiding me, I think.  I'm trying really hard to be nice because I want us to be friendly, but it seems like he's not even interested in it, which kind of sucks.  Brody has been really busy this week, so Ken just hangs out downstairs and awkwardly greets me then hurries away if we happen to run into each other."

"Is it weird because Brody hasn't been around and you guys don't really know each other?" Kendra suggested.

"Well, yeah," I agreed.  "I just don't know how to make it better.  It kind of sucks to feel uncomfortable in your own home, and I want him to be more comfortable too."

"It'll happen," Kendra said kindly.  "Don't worry too much."

Brody got home shortly after I did.  There was no sign of Ken.  Brody looked agitated, and I greeted him carefully.

"Hi," he responded shortly.

"Shitty day?" I asked gently.

"Yes."  He grabbed some juice out of the fridge, poured himself a glass, then shoved the juice back in.

"Want to talk about it?"

"No."  Even though his responses were short, his tone was fairly calm, but this was still not like him.  He must have had a very shitty day, because he was never this cranky.  I stepped out of his path so he could walk out of the kitchen.  He paused in the doorway and turned.  "I need to do some more work.  I'm sorry.  I'll probably be to bed late."  He started to walk out then stopped again, came back to me, and kissed me lightly.  "I love you."

"I love you too.  Let me know if you need anything."  He nodded and left the kitchen for real this time, disappearing down the hall to his office.  I went into the living room and turned the TV on, mindlessly flipping through the channels for awhile.

Brody still hadn't reappeared by the time I went to bed.  I woke up when he climbed into bed about an hour later, and he apologized when I rolled over.  "It's okay, I don't have to be up early."

"You're going to the florist with my mom tomorrow, aren't you?" Brody asked.  I confirmed that, and he said, "If you have time, you should stop at the jeweler and look at rings again.  Maybe you'll find something if you're not rushed like we were last time."

"I could do that," I agreed.  "Your day must have been really bad," I ventured.

He sighed and pressed his face against my hair, and I felt him nod.  "It was.  Neil fucked something up big time, and I have an angry client, an angry agent, and an angry attorney after me for it."

"Yikes," I said, understanding his earlier mood.  "Can you fix it?"

"I'm going to lose the client either way," he said, sounding defeated.  "But I think I can minimize the collateral damage at least."

"I'm sorry, baby," I said, winding my fingers between his and squeezing gently.

"People make mistakes, it's the nature of business," he said.  "It just sucks."

He got quiet and I fell asleep a little while later.  When I woke up in the middle of the night, he was gone.  I assumed he couldn't sleep and was up working.  I woke up again when his alarm went off, and realized that he must have come back to bed at some point, because he was sitting up on the side of the bed.  When he got in the shower, I looked at my phone and saw that it was a little after 5.

I decided to get up and make coffee and breakfast for Brody, in hopes to at least start his day out decently.  I was in the kitchen frying an egg for a breakfast sandwich when the front door opened.  Confused, I turned and saw Ken coming in.  He looked about as surprised as I had been when he'd walked in on Brody and I.  "Oh, uh, hey..." he said, awkwardly.

"Good morning," I replied, trying to pretend that there was nothing remotely odd about this.  He looked like he had had a good night.  "I'm making breakfast, do you want something?"

"Um...yeah, whatever you're making is fine, thanks."  He paused.  "Is there coffee?"

"There is," I replied, getting a mug out.  I poured him a cup and he took it gratefully.

"Thanks," he said, smiling a little.  "I'll be back in a few minutes."  He headed downstairs, presumably to shower and change.

Brody came down right as I was putting the breakfast sandwiches together.  He looked like he hadn't slept at all.  Despite that, he still managed a sleepy smile when I handed him his breakfast.  "You're the best," he said.  "You didn't need to get up for me."

"I wanted to," I said, pouring him a cup of coffee.

He took out two plates and motioned to the table.  "If you can get up before dawn for me, the least I can do is eat with you."  We had just sat down when Ken reemerged from the lower level, showered, shaved, and dressed.

"Hey man," Brody greeted him.  "What time did you get in last night?"

Ken looked at me, and I tried not to laugh.  "Um, about 20 minutes ago," he said, sheepishly.  Brody laughed and shook his head as Ken grabbed a plate and a breakfast sandwich and his cup of coffee.  He joined us at the table and I smiled at him.  He returned my smile briefly and then proceeded to ignore me the rest of the time we were eating.  I felt a little defeated in my efforts to be friendly and form a solid relationship with him, but I kept my mouth shut.

When we were done eating, I shooed the guys out the door and cleaned up, then went back up to bed to lay down for a little while longer.  I didn't fall back to sleep, but I didn't mind relaxing in the comfortable bed with my Kindle one bit.  Then I got up, showered, did my hair and makeup, and got dressed, and was ready to go meet Brody's mom for lunch and wedding stuff.