It's My Party

On Saturday, I slept in and went to the gym.  I was trying to avoid thinking about my birthday because despite what everyone said, I was still a little worried.  When I came home from the gym, I showered and put on yoga pants and a tank top while I did my hair and makeup.

I still had over an hour before Brody was supposed to come pick me up for dinner, so I decided not to get dressed quite yet, and sprawled across my couch with my Kindle.  When the doorbell rang about 20 minutes later, I was surprised to see Brody on my porch.  I was even more surprised to see a wrapped package in his hands.

"I thought you agreed to not get me anything!" I said, after I had let him.

"Hello to you too," he said, kissing my cheek.  "I missed you too.  And, if you remember correctly, you tried to get me to agree with that, and I believe what I said was that I'd take it into consideration."

"Sorry, hi, I did miss you, and I'm glad you're early, but what is this?"

He set the package down and led me to the couch.  I sat down next to him and waited.  "Look, I knew you'd be mad," he started.  "But there are three reasons I'm giving you this.  Actually, there were only two reasons when I actually bought it, but now there's also a third, which works."

"Okay..." I said, waiting for him to continue.

"First reason is that I just really enjoy spending my money on you.  It's there, and I don't really spend a ton of myself now that I have my house, my cabin, and my car.  I have a ton set away for retirement already, and my investments are doing really well.  So, I'd rather spend it on you, and on stuff that we can enjoy together like dinners out and weekend trips, than on stupid stuff that I don't need."  He paused, and I nodded.

"I'm not going to tell you the second reason until you open it, but the third reason is that your birthday is important to you.  And I want you to know that that makes it important to me too.  I know that giving you a gift is not the best way to show you that it's important to me, but it is one way.  And, for the most important way, I'm giving Pete full on-call responsibilities for this weekend, so there is as small of a chance as possible that I will have to go in to the office, or be on the phone, or leave to go handle something."  Any frustration I felt at Brody disrespecting my wishes for him to not get me a gift was gone, and I smiled at him.

"So if your troublemaker in Dallas needs something, you're not going?" I asked.

"Nope.  I'm spending this weekend here, with you.  I may have to field some phone calls from Pete, because I did ask him to run anything major by me so I know what he's doing, since he's never been on his own yet, but this is like a trial run for him.  I want him to handle anything that comes up."

"That honestly means more to me than anything that could possibly be in that box," I said, hugging him.

"I know," he replied.  "I handled some situations poorly in the past, and things are still so busy, but I really am moving forward with making it better, and I appreciate how patient you've been with that.  So, will you open your gift?"

"Of course I'll open it," I said, grinning.  "I'm not a completely immature brat!" He laughed, then stood and carried the box over to me.  I pulled the paper off of it and opened the box to find myself looking at a pair of snowshoes and poles.

"So, reason number two is that you said you really liked snowshoeing and wanted to go again soon.  I thought, if you wanted to, that we could go tomorrow, or maybe next weekend.  But either way, it's something we can do together."

"It's perfect," I said.  "I love them.  Thank you.  I'm sorry I was a brat about it."  I threw my arms around him and he chuckled as he hugged me back.

"Well, actually, I anticipated more of a fit about it so I'm pleased with the situation!"  he teased me.  I pulled away and smacked him gently in the arm.

"Come upstairs and help me get dressed?" I asked with a smirk.

"I prefer the undressing part, will there be undressing?" he replied, sliding his hand up my leg.

"Well, I have to get undressed before I can change, so yes.  I will let you handle the undressing," I said back, swatting his hand away and standing.  He followed me up the stairs and into my room, then spun me around to face him.  He pulled my shirt off, then kissed me as he unhooked my bra.  I walked backwards towards my bed while he slid the straps down my arms.

He rolled my yoga pants down.  "No underwear?  What a scandal!" he teased, before moving his lips along my neck.

I stepped out of them and replied, "Ew, who wears underwear with yoga pants?  I never do."

He stopped kissing my neck and looked at me with raised eyebrows.  "I will never look at yoga pants the same again."

"Why are you talking?" I asked, kissing him.  He picked me up and put me down on the bed, moving his mouth from mine and trailing kisses down my neck, chest, and stomach.  Every place his lips touched felt like it was on fire.  He pushed my legs apart and settled between them, kissing along my inner thigh before finally putting his mouth where I wanted it.   I came in record time thanks to his skillful tongue and fingers, and I tugged him back up the bed towards me.

"You have waaaay too much clothing on," I complained.  He was still fully dressed, which was pretty much the opposite of what I wanted.

"Actually," he said, glancing at his watch, "You don't have nearly enough on.  I don't think the restaurant--which we have to be at 20 minutes--is going to let you in like that, even if it is your birthday."  He grinned and kissed me before starting to sit up.

I grabbed his arm and pulled him back towards me.  "Well I guess the restaurant is going to have to wait for us, because I'm not done with you here."  I sat up and reached for his belt, starting to undo it.  As I pulled it off, I looked up at him, smiling slightly.

"Oh, you are killing me with that look," he groaned.

I started unbuttoning and unzipping his pants, and said, "At least let me properly thank you for my birthday gift."

In the end, I got what I wanted.  After, we got dressed quickly and I touched up my makeup.  We were 20 minutes late to dinner when we finally got to the restaurant.  I had texted Lauren to let her know so she didn't think I was ditching out on my birthday dinner.

"Nice of you to join us, birthday girl," Cassie quipped, as we made our way to the two empty seats.  I hung my coat on the back on the chair, but when I pulled the chair out to sit down, it slipped off.  Brody bent to pick it up, and Alex laughed.

"You missed a belt loop when you put your pants back on, stud," Alex pointed out, sliding Brody's shirt up to bare the guilty belt loop that had become visible when he bent to grab my coat.  I immediately turned bright red, and Lauren, Kinsley, and Cassie howled with laughter.

"You should have just said you were going to be late because you were busy getting some," Kinsley said, once she had caught her breath.  "I'm sure we'd have all been a little more understanding then!"  My face was burning and I was pretty sure it was the brightest red it had ever been.

"I hate you all," I grumbled, sitting down.  Even Brody was laughing, and I glared at him.  That just made him laugh harder.

"Don't be such a prude," Lauren scoffed, rolling her eyes.  "We all know you guys have sex."

"Alright, that's enough talking about our sex life," Brody said, finally coming to my aid. 

"You just make it so easy sometimes," Kinsley said.  Then she and Lauren looked at each other and started cracking up again.  "I mean," Kinsley gasped, wiping tears from her face, "to make fun of you.  Easy to make fun of you."

Eventually they settled down and we were able to enjoy our dinner.  After dinner, we headed to a nearby bar, where James, Damien, and Nick, the guy that Cassie had gone out with a couple times, were going to meet us.  A couple of my former coworkers, Charlotte and Sam, had said they'd try to stop out too.

Brody and Alex went up to the bar for a round of drinks right away while we found a table.  I turned to Lauren.  "So you and Alex?  Things going well?" I asked, curiously.  She smiled and nodded.

"They are.  It's kind of weird dating him now after we've been friends for so long and hooked up and stuff, but it's good.  I guess dating isn't so bad, after all," she admitted.

"Awwwww, our widdle Wauwren is growing up!" Kinsley cooed obnoxiously.  We laughed.  Lauren, seeming slightly embarrassed, turned the focus back on me.

"So is that why you guys were late?  Birthday sex?"  She smirked when she asked it.

I rolled my eyes.  "Yes, Lauren, that's why we were late.  Want a play by play too?"

She laughed.  "Actually, yes, but only because I'd love to see you actually try to say it all out loud!"  I blushed again.  "For always being the boy crazy one," Lauren continued, "You sure are shy about talking about sex sometimes."

I shrugged.  "It's private.  No one needs to know about it," I protested.

"Know about what?" Brody asked, setting a drink down in front of me.

"The freaky things Liv likes to do in the bedroom," Cassie supplied helpfully.

Brody laughed and put his arm around my waist.  Then he changed the subject.  I was thankful for that.  Luckily, James and Damien arrived shortly after, and everyone forgot about my sex life.  Brody's arm tightened around my waist when he saw James, and I saw the muscles in his jaw flex as he clenched his teeth together a little.  I knew he was still upset about what had happened at James's housewarming party, and it looked like there would be no bromance tonight.

James came over to say hi and I wriggled out of Brody's grip and hugged him.  "Happy birthday!" James said.  "Tomorrow, right?"  I nodded.  He turned to Brody.  "Hey, how's it going?" he asked cautiously.

"Good," Brody replied shortly.  I elbowed him subtly and he said, "You?"  James answered similarly to Brody, then went up to the bar for a drink.

I turned to Brody and started to ask him to try to be polite, but Brody stopped me.  "I know," he said, before I could even say anything.  "I'll try, because it's your birthday.  I'm still mad though."  He kissed my forehead, then told me he'd be right back.

I turned to Cassie, who was texting Nick to see when he was coming.  "I texted him while we were waiting for you at the restaurant, but he hasn't responded," she said, looking up at me.

"Did you have your second date yet?" I asked, not remembering when she had said they were going again.

"We did, and I don't know if he read a book or what, but his kissing technique was much better this time.  And his, um....other techniques were good too."

I laughed.  "Well, I'm glad to hear that," I said. 

Brody returned with a new drink for me.  I raised my eyebrows at him.  "I don't want to be hungover tomorrow," I warned him.

"Then drink slowly!" he advised me.  I rolled my eyes and thanked him for the drink.  Alex and Christian moved over to sit by us and were talking about some football game that I had no interest in.  I turned back to Cassie, who was staring at her phone with irritation.

"Nothing?" I asked.  She shook her head.  I frowned.  "That sucks."  She shrugged and started spinning her phone absently on the table.  James and Damien returned from the bar.  Damien handed Kinsley a drink and then stood behind her chair with his hand resting casually on her shoulder.  I was so excited that they were seeming to get serious.

I heard a phone vibrate and looked down at the table.  Cassie grabbed hers and clicked on the display.  She read the text and then she frowned.  "Well, I guess he's not coming.  Too busy with his friends."  She looked disappointed for a second, then forced a smile onto her face.  "Oh well!  His loss."

I walked up to the bar with her.  She was getting another drink, and I was getting some water so I could avoid getting too drunk.  James followed a second later.  "So, he's pretty pissed at me, huh?" he asked, when he joined us at the bar.

I grimaced.  "Yeah.  I don't know if it's at you so much as the situation, but he's still pretty pissed."

"Well, if it were me, I'd be pissed too.  I'm sure he blames me for what happened to you, since Jordan is my brother.  I would do the same."

"He does," I confirmed.  "I tried to convince him it wasn't your fault, but he wasn't hearing it.  Then again, he also blames himself, so who knows." I changed the subject then, and was glad when James followed suit.

"You guys up for a birthday shot?" James asked.  Cassie agreed immediately, but I frowned.

"I really, really don't want to get drunk tonight," I said.

"One shot won't kill you, come on," Cassie urged.

"It's your birthday," James pointed out.  I agreed then, and James bought us shots.  Brody came over while we were finishing them.

"Making some extra work for me tonight?" he asked.  He smiled as he said it, but there was a hard edge to his voice.

James regarded him briefly before grinning back.  "One shot shouldn't do too much damage," he replied easily.  "You shouldn't have to worry until after the second or third."  Then he grabbed his drink and walked back towards the table.  Cassie went with him, leaving me and Brody standing at the bar.

I sighed and grabbed my water.  "What?" Brody asked.  I shook my head and started to turn to walk back to the table.  "Hey," he said, putting a hand on my arm.  I turned back to him.  "I'm sorry.  It's just hard for me to be around him now.  He's got two strikes against him, since Jordan is his brother and he's the guy you dated while I was gone."

I looked at him in confusion.  "But you guys were fine, friendly even, before everything happened at the housewarming party."  I didn't understand why Jordan showing up to James's house uninvited changed everything so much.

"I made myself pretend that he wasn't a guy you had dated, and just got to know him.  I knew he was friends with Kinsley's boyfriend and that he'd probably be around.  He's a cool guy, Liv, but after his housewarming party, everything that happened with his brother just pisses me off too much.  And even though I'm not mad that you dated while I was gone, since that's exactly what I told you to do, it's still not fun thinking about you dating someone else."  I nodded, but didn't say anything.

Brody put his arms around my waist, pulling me away from the bar.  "Look, it doesn't bother me at all that you guys are friends.  This isn't a jealousy thing or a trust issue.  It's just that his face pisses me off, because every time I see it, I think about what happened to you.  I'll be nice for the rest of the night, I promise.  And the last thing I want to do is argue with you about this tonight.  I'm sorry.  I just wanted you to know that I'm not just being a jerk because it's fun, okay?"

"I get it," I replied, finally.  "I wouldn't like hanging out with one of your exes.  I mean, Savannah is bad enough."

"I deserved that," Brody said with a laugh.  "Luckily for you, my exes don't exist."  We were about to walk back to the table when Brody's phone rang.  He pulled it out and frowned.  "I'm sorry, it's Pete.  5 minutes, okay?  No more."  He kissed me on the cheek and then walked towards the door, answering the phone.

I walked back to the table.  Lauren and Alex were so close to each other that I wouldn't have been surprised if they started having sex on the table.  Kendra and Christian were talking to Kinsley and Damien, and James and Cassie were deep in conversation.  I grinned, hopeful for a love connection.  They looked up as I approached.  James gave me a funny look.

"Is everything okay?  Where is Brody?" he asked with obvious concern.  Apparently, he was quite aware that we had just been having an unpleasant discussion.

"It's fine, he got a phone call," I replied.

"A work call?" Cassie asked, raising her eyebrows.  "It's your birthday."  James looked confused.

"Yes, but it's from the guy that's on call this weekend."  I explained what Brody had arranged for the weekend.  Cassie still looked skeptical when I was done, but she nodded.  I was spared any further explanation when Brody came back.  He didn't look happy.

"What's up?" I asked, when he came back.

He shook his head and smiled.  "Nothing, it's taken care of," he said, slipping his arm around my waist.

He didn't get any more phone calls, and the rest of the night went smoothly.  I managed to stay perfectly buzzed without getting drunk enough to be hungover.  James and Cassie ended up leaving together, which made me positively gleeful.  We headed out around 1am.  That was way past my bedtime in my newly acquired old age. 

We had decided to stay at Brody's house that night, and as he drove, I found myself thinking again about how I acted when Brody was in Miami.  Before I could fully process if it was a good idea or not, I had blurted out, "Did you ever get mad at me while you were in Miami?"

"Is this about James?" Brody asked, glancing at me quickly.

"No, it's about if you got mad at me for how I acted  between when you left and when we got back together."

"Liv, are you sure you want to talk about this now?" he asked.  I could see the confusion on his face.

"Yes," I said firmly.  As an afterthought, I added, "Please.  It's important."

"Okay, then no.  I didn't get mad at you while I was in Miami.  I got frustrated a few times, and I was mad at the situation, but I wasn't mad at you.  I've only really been mad at you twice." I asked when.  "When I found out about what Savannah did, I was mad that you hadn't told me yourself.  And I got mad when we argued before I went to Dallas the weekend we were supposed to go to Breckenridge.  Why are you asking about this?"

I paused, considering how to answer.  Instead of answering, I asked another question.  "Were you upset that I didn't call on your birthday?"  He glanced at me again, looking even more confused.

"I had hoped that you might," he admitted, "but I didn't expect you to.  Liv, what's going on in your head?"

"I've just been feeling really crappy for the way I handled the whole Miami situation," I replied.  "I was pretty immature about it all, and I feel really bad that I didn't at least call on your birthday.  I'm sorry."  By this point, we were at Brody's house, and we sat in his car in the garage, continuing our conversation.

Brody turned in his seat to face me a little better.  "Liv, I don't hold anything that happened before I came back against you.  The whole situation was shitty and we were both put in bad spots.  I don't love the way I handled it either.  I should have given you an option instead of just deciding for you that you shouldn't sit around and wait for me.  But it's over and I've put it behind me.  I wish you'd do the same, and stop beating yourself up over it."  He reached across the console for my hand.  "Is something else wrong?" he asked, when I didn't say anything.

"No," I said, smiling at him.  "That's just been bothering me for awhile and I needed to get it out and apologize.  Thank you."

"Are you going to stop beating yourself up now?" he asked.

"I'll try," I replied.  Then I yawned.  Brody looked at his watch. 

"It's only officially been your birthday for an hour and a half and you're already being a party pooper," he teased.  "Come on, let's go inside, old lady." 

"You'd be watch who you're calling old.  If I'm old, you're ancient!"  Brody laughed and pulled me into a hug.  It was chilly in the garage, but I barely noticed.

"I love you, Liv.  I'm glad you told me how you've been feeling."

"I love you too.  I'm glad I told you too.  Now let's go in before you have to carry me to bed!"

Author's Note.

Hi, readers.  I have an unfortunate update.

I know you guys are really looking forward to Alex's perspective on the date.  Unfortunately, I just can't seem to make it happen.  I got a huge promotion and just started the new position this week, and I'm a little overwhelmed with that and life in general at the moment, and it's sapping my creative brainpower.  I'd really rather disappoint you a little for now by delaying it and giving you a better post when I'm feeling more inspired, instead of forcing a crappy post that sucks. 

So with that said, I'm luckily enough have several week's worth of regular storyline posts written and edited and ready to go.  So tomorrow evening, I'll post the next regular storyline post.  I'm out of town this weekend for an awesome weekend trip with some wonderful friends, but I promise I will put Alex's post up as soon as I finish it, as a bonus.  I'm anticipating that will be the middle of next week, probably.  I also don't have any more of the alternate perspective posts written, and I'm going to put those on hold for a few weeks while I adjust to my new job.  I will continue to post the regular storyline posts on Fridays, so you'll continue to have three posts a week, at least.

I'm sorry, because I know you guys were looking forward to it, but I'll be much happier with giving you a good post when I'm feeling it a little more. 

Thank you guys all so much for being the most awesome readers.  Your continued support and amazing comments keep me motivated to write good stuff for you! 

Birthday Stress

On Thursday, I was at happy hour when I got a text from Brody asking if he could stay at my house for the night.  I texted back and said of course, and asked if he could pick me up from happy hour.  He responded that he was on his way and would stop in and say hi and maybe have a drink.

"Hello?" Lauren was saying, as I put my phone down.  "Earth to Olivia, people are talking to you."

I looked up at her in confusion.  "What?"

She huffed and rolled her eyes.  "Kinsley just asked you where you want to go out for dinner for your birthday, so we can make plans and reservations and all that important stuff.  What is with you tonight?"

"Sorry," I replied contritely.  "Honestly, my birthday is stressing me out.  I have no idea where I want to go."

Kinsley and Kendra made a couple suggestions and I chose one randomly.  "I'll make a reservation for 8 people at 8pm?" Kinsley said.  I nodded.  I didn't care.  I honestly would have been fine just being at home for my birthday, but it didn't seem like that was going to happen.

"Why does your birthday stress you out?" Kendra asked curiously.  Lauren had checked out of the conversation and was whispering to Alex.  She knows how I feel about my birthday, but I understood why she was frustrated with me.

I considered to how to answer Kendra, and decided to just answer honestly.  "I'm going to sound like a huge brat, but when I was growing up, my parents always made a super huge deal about my birthday, and it was always a really awesome day.  My friends were always great on my birthday as I got older too.  Then I started dating my ex, John, and every single year on my birthday, something bad would happen.  I was so used to people making a big deal about my birthday that it just really sucked to have someone I love not care about it at all.  I mean, it's not like I even wanted him to throw me a party and get me a gift...I'm not a total spoiled brat.  Just a card and a 'happy birthday' and not picking a fight with me would have been awesome."

"So that asshole ruined her birthday for the last three years, and now she forgets that she's with people that actually care about her and want her to have a good birthday," Lauren piped up.  I flushed, embarrassed.

"I don't think that's bratty," Kendra said kindly.  "But it sounds like an ex-issue, not a birthday-issue."

"It is," I replied.  "And trust me, I feel stupid for even being upset about it.  But now I just kind of wait for the bad things to happen on my birthday, you know?  The first year we were dating he forgot about it completely, made plans with his friends, and didn't even care that my feelings were a little hurt. That wasn't really a big deal, but last year we broke up the day before my birthday.  And the year before he got in an accident with my car on my birthday because he was driving like an idiot.   So, I'm just kind of over birthdays."

"Well this one will be better, and you can leave crappy birthdays behind," Kinsley said brightly. 

"Whoa, look at this stranger!" Alex said, suddenly, taking the heat off me and my birthday hatred.  We all looked up and saw Brody approaching.  He grinned.

"Hey guys!" he greeted us.  He pulled up a chair next to me and kissed me quickly.

"Where the hell have you been?" Alex asked.

"Working my ass off, you should try it," Brody shot back.  But he was smiling.

"No thanks, man.  You look rough.  I couldn't do that to this work of art," he replied, gesturing to his face.  We all laughed.  Brody did look rough, though.  He hadn't shaved in a few days and he had obvious dark circles under his eyes.  His tie was loosened and crooked and his jacket was badly wrinkled.  He looked like he had slept in his clothes, and I wondered briefly if he had.

"Don't let me interrupt," Brody said, looking at us.

"No, please do," I replied quickly.  He looked at me curiously, and Lauren happily jumped in.

"We were just discussing why Liv hates her birthday and why she's ridiculous for it," Lauren said.  Now, though, her tone was light and she was smiling.

"Hmmm, I'm not sure I know why Liv hates her birthday," Brody said, raising his eyebrows at me.

"I'm sure she'll tell you about it later," Kendra broke in.  "Why don't you tell us what you've been up to."  I gave her a grateful look.  I was quite finished talking about my birthday.

Brody gave them a quick rundown on what was new with him and we all chatted for about 15 more minutes before he turned to me and asked if I was ready.  As we were standing up, Kinsley caught Brody's arm.  She told him the plan for Saturday and asked him to make sure I got there and didn't try to ditch out on the plans.  He laughed and assured her that he would.

"Okay," he said, when we got in the car.  "What's the deal with your birthday?"

"It's stupid and it doesn't matter, because my birthday is going to be great," I said brightly, hoping to convince him.

"I don't think so," he replied.  "Spill it."  So I did.

"You know, John didn't seem like that big of a dick when I met him," Brody mused when I was finished.  "Apparently he puts on a good show."

"He's a decent guy, he's just a terrible boyfriend," I replied.  "It's funny, because the year we knew each other before we started dating, he actually got me a gift and everything for my birthday.  We were just not a good pair, and it took us both way too long to realize it."  I shrugged and looked out the window, really ready to be done talking about my birthday and John.  Brody glanced at me, then reached for my hand.  I laced my fingers with his and was thankful that he didn't ask anymore about it.

When we got to my house, Brody looked at me sheepishly.  "Is it okay if we just go to bed?  And sleep, I mean?  I'm so tired." 

"I figured that's what you'd want to do," I said.   I let him get ready for bed first, and by the time I came out of the bathroom, he looked like he was asleep.  I climbed carefully into bed next to him, hoping I wouldn't wake him.  Without opening his eyes, he found my hand and slipped his fingers between mine.  Even exhausted and half asleep he needed to touch me.

Brody's alarm went off early, and he silenced it quickly.  A few minutes later he got out of bed, and then I heard the shower.  I drifted back to sleep, because I still had almost two hours before I needed to get up.  At some point, I became vaguely aware of Brody sitting on the edge of the bed next to me.  He pushed my hair out of my face.  "Have a good day, Liv, I love you," he said. 

"Mmhmm," I managed.  He chuckled and kissed my forehead before leaving. 

I got done with work by early afternoon, since I was still training.  I decided to drop off some lunch and coffee for Brody.  I stopped by his favorite coffee shop and grabbed him coffee and a sandwich, then headed to his office.

I planned to just leave it with his receptionist to deliver because I didn't want to interrupt anything, but Brody and Todd were standing near the reception desk talking when I walked in.  Brody looked surprised but smiled broadly at me.  Todd greeted me warmly.

"Hey guys, I'm sorry.  I was just going to drop this off for you and take off.  I don't want to distract you, I'm sure you're really busy."

"Actually, I was just leaving to head to the airport, and I know Brody hasn't eaten lunch yet," Todd replied.  I let Brody say goodbye to Todd and walk him out.  He motioned for me to stay, so I did.

When he came back in, he grabbed my hand and pulled me back towards his office.  "I really wasn't going to stay," I protested.  "I don't want to interrupt.  I just wanted to drop lunch and coffee off for you."

"Do you have to go back to work?" he asked.  I shook my head.  "Then stay while I eat at least.  I actually don't have much to do for the next hour or so."  I shrugged and followed him into his office.  He pulled the door shut behind us and kissed me.  "Thank you, this is the highlight of my week," he said with a grin, pulling off his jacket and hanging it carefully on the back of his chair.  He led me over to the couch and we sat and looked out over downtown Denver while he ate.  When he was done he pulled me over to him and we sat and talked for about 20 more minutes before he had to get back to work.

He walked me out and down to my car, pulling open the driver's door for me.  He leaned in and kissed me.  "You made my day," he said, when he had pulled away.  "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"  I nodded, and we said goodbye.

Cassie knocked on my door shortly after I got home.  "Let's go!" she said brightly.

"Go where?" I asked, completely confused.

"Shopping!  You're going to find something new to wear tomorrow for your birthday."

"Do I have to?" I asked.

"I'm going to ignore that.  Put some shoes on, grab your purse and coat, and let's go."

"Why are you even home?  Shouldn't you be at work?" I asked, stalling.

"I know the boss, and it's his girlfriend's birthday this weekend, so getting the afternoon off was easy," she said, winking.  "Come onnnnn!"  I was clearly not getting out of this, so I put my shoes back on and grabbed my stuff.

I ended up having a good time and finding a new outfit, complete with new shoes and jewelry.  We went out for dinner and drinks, then I put everything on together when I got home and modeled it for Cassie.  She was satisfied, and I was happy.  I took a picture and texted it to Lauren and Kinsley, who both approved enthusiastically.  Cassie stayed for awhile, and by the time she left, I was thinking that maybe this birthday would be good after all.

Judged

Despite Brody's assurances, I was nervous about having dinner with Todd on Tuesday.  Cassie came over after work Monday to help me pick out an outfit.  She sat on my bed as I modeled some of the options I was considering, then dug through my closet and produced the perfect outfit in seconds.

"Why don't I have that ability?" I asked.

"Because you're blessed with good genes and skill with a makeup brush.  You can't have it all, you selfish bitch!"  she said, laughing.

I laid across my bed and looked up at her.  "Have you talked to Nick?" I asked.

She sighed dramatically and leaned back against the wall.  "Yeah, he called.  I decided to give it one more try.  Aside from his lack of kissing common sense, he really seems great."

"I support that," I replied.  "You'll have to let me know how it goes.  Maybe he was just nervous."

"Yeah, let's hope it's that," she said, laughing.  "You were gone all weekend," she continued, raising her eyebrows at me.  "You've been having an awful lot of sleepovers with Brody."

I blushed.  "Yeah, we have been," I confirmed.

"Have you guys talked about moving in together?" she asked.

"What?" I exclaimed.  "Are you nuts?  We've only been dating for...well, I don't even know because I don't know if I should count July and August, but not that long!"

Cassie shrugged.  "So what?  You guys have done everything fast, and it seems to be working for you.  You can't deny that your relationship is serious."

She was right, I couldn't deny that.  I didn't even try.

"Have you talked future stuff at all?" she continued.

I shook my head.  "Not at all, and honestly, I haven't even thought about it myself.  I just really like the way things are right now and I'm enjoying that without thinking too much about what might happen in the future."

"That's reasonable," Cassie admitted.

"Yes, every once in awhile I am reasonable," I said with a smirk. 

"Well I'm just glad you're happy," she said, ignoring my sarcasm.


I rushed home after work on Tuesday to get ready.  I was struggling with the zipper of my dress when Brody knocked and came in.  "Hello?" he called.

"I'm up here!" I yelled back.  He came upstairs and found me contorted trying to reach to get the zipper up the last inch.  Back zippers are the worst, why do they even exist?  He stepped over to me and finished zipping it, then fastened the hook at the top.

"You look amazing," he said when I had turned back around to face him.  I thanked him as I slipped my shoes on, then I put my hands on his chest and kissed him.  He caught me around the waist as I started to pull away and kissed me again, lingering with his lips on mine for several seconds.

"Careful," I warned, smiling, "or we'll end up late for dinner." 

"That would be awful," he said, tightening his fingers on my waist and kissing me again.

Reluctantly, I pulled away.  He frowned.  "I'm not letting you be late to dinner with a potential future business partner, even if it is a social dinner," I said, taking his hand and walking towards the stairs. 

"Fine," he grumbled, trailing me downstairs.  He took his tie off and tossed it at my chair.  "I'm not wearing that to dinner," he said stubbornly when I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Was your day okay?" I asked.  He seemed crabby. 

"It was fine," he said, softening his tone.  "Just long.  I'm glad it's done and I'll be even more glad when we're back here after dinner.  Can I stay tonight?"

"I was hoping you would," I said, putting my coat on.  Out in the driveway, he opened the car door for me and gave me a hand to get in.  I loved that he still opened the door for me.  As usual, he waited until I was settled and had my seatbelt on to shut the door.

On the way to the restaurant we talked a little bit about our days.  He looked tired and stressed, and I wondered if things weren't going well with Todd there.

Todd was waiting for us just inside the door of the restaurant.  He greeted Brody cheerfully and shook my hand firmly when Brody introduced me.  "It's so nice to meet you, Olivia.  You look lovely."  He flashed a charming smile as I returned his pleasantries.   His easy manner put me at ease quickly, and my nervousness disappeared.  Brody was fidgeting next to me, though.  I took his hand and squeezed it gently as we were shown to our table.  He gave me a quick smile and squeezed back.

Todd ordered a bottle of wine for the table and we got some appetizers to start with.  Brody still looked nervous and stressed out, and I was completely baffled because Todd was perfectly pleasant and seemed really easy going.  He stuck to his word and didn't mention business once, which was nice for me.

When Todd got up to use the restroom before dessert, I turned to Brody, who had been tense through the entire meal.  It was subtle, and Todd probably hadn't even noticed, but between his leg shaking up and down under the table and the muscles in his jaw and neck flexing every few seconds, it was obvious to me.  "Are you okay?" I asked. 

He pushed a hand through his hair, then quickly smoothed it back down.  "I'm fine," he replied quickly.

"Now who's trying to avoid talking about feelings?" I said in a gently teasing tone.

He took a deep breath.  I had never seen him looking this stressed and nervous.  "I am, I promise.  I'll tell you more about it after dinner, okay?"  I nodded and moved my chair a little closer to his so I could rest my hand on his leg.  He slid his hand under mine and our fingers intertwined.

Todd returned and our dessert came shortly after.  When the waiter brought the bill, Brody and Todd both reached for it.  Todd got his hands on it first.  "Let me get it," Brody said.

"This is a social dinner and I invited you guys, so I'm paying.  If this was business, I'd certainly let you pay, but I won't hear it tonight.  I won't have Olivia thinking I'm complete social clod."

"I would never," I said with a smile.

"Even so," he replied, returning my smile and slipping a credit card into the book.  After the bill was settled, we lingered for a few more minutes.  I excused myself to go use the restroom before we left.  When I returned to the table, Brody stood and asked if I was ready.  He looked much more relaxed that he had earlier.

We all walked out together and when we were in the car, I turned expectantly to Brody.  "He seems nice," I said nonchalantly.

"He liked you.  Thanks for coming," Brody said back, smiling at me quickly before pulling into traffic.  Traffic was light and we got back to my house shortly.  As I unlocked my door, Brody asked for tylenol.  "I have a terrible headache," he admitted, grimacing.  I slid my shoes off and grabbed him some ibuprofen and a bottle of water, then sat on the couch.  He took his jacket off and tossed it on the chair his tie was already laying on, then laid across the couch, dropping his head onto my lap.  I raked my fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp.

"So are you going to tell me why you looked like you were about to jump out of your seat and flee the restaurant all through dinner?" I asked gently.

"I'll try," he started.  "I'm not sure how much sense it makes."  He paused, and I waited quietly for him to go on.  "Okay, so when I worked for my dad, I was constantly being watched, and judged, and ridiculed, and it was really stressful.  One of my favorite things about starting up the Denver branch was being away from him, because he couldn't watch my every move and comment and be a dick.  Having Todd here checking things out reminds me having my dad there watching, even though he hasn't judged or ridiculed or been a dick.  He has made a couple of perfectly logical, friendly suggestions, and that was bad enough."

I considered this for a minute.  I had seen firsthand how Brody's dad affected him.  I had felt like I barely knew him after the hour we spent at dinner with his dad.  "That actually makes a lot of sense," I responded.  "But I'm not sure I understand why you were still so stressed at dinner."

He sat up.  "Because I was already in the mindset of feeling like I was being judged by Todd.  And since he last knew me when I couldn't take any relationships seriously, I felt like he was definitely judging our relationship.  And I'd much rather he judge me than judge you.  Not that there's anything to judge."

I laughed at that.  "Um, have you met me?  But I can't say I'm shocked that you'd rather be judged than have me be judged.  After I came back from the bathroom, you looked better.  What happened while I was gone?"

"He told me that you seemed really great and he could tell I was really happy with you, and that he was happy for me."  I smiled at this.  "So thank you again for going.  I feel pretty stupid being so stressed out after I told you not to be stressed out."

"I'm happy that I got to meet him," I replied, leaning against his chest and yawning.

"I don't know if I'll get to see you again before Saturday," he said after a few minutes.

I frowned.  "I'm going to pretend you didn't say that," I said.  "You can always stay here some night so you don't have to go all the way home.  Even if you just come here to sleep, it's better than nothing." 

"That sounds like a good plan," he agreed.

(Now/Then) Alex: The Wait

It was unanimous! I started writing this all as one post, with the background and the date, but it got a little long.  So here is part 1, with some of the background.  Part 2, with the actual date, will go up for Friday!  Thanks to everyone that gave input on what they wanted!
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 "If you wanted to, you could take me out to dinner sometime."

I pulled the phone away from my ear and frowned at it, making sure it did say "Lauren" across the call display.  Yup.  "I have to buy you dinner before you sleep with me now?" I joked, not really sure what to make of what Lauren just said, and not wanting to hope it's what I really, really want her to mean.  When she sighed loudly, I tentatively asked, "Lauren, do you want to go out?  On a date?"

"No, I don't, never mind.  Why do you have to be such an asshole?" She was talking fast, and she sounded flustered, which is not very Lauren-like.

"Hey," I said gently.  "I'd actually love to take you out to dinner."

"You would?" Now she sounded surprised.  "Well then why the hell did you have to make a stupid joke about it?"  I felt guilty immediately for my joke, but I had no idea how else to respond.

"I'm sorry," I replied sincerely.  "I just...didn't want to assume anything, knowing your feelings on dates.  I didn't mean to freak you out."

She snorted.  "You didn't freak me out."  Right.  "But if you wanted to, Tuesday would be a really good night."  Back in charge, that's my girl.

"Tuesday is a really good night for me too.  Was there someplace you had in mind?"

She sighed again.  "I had to ask you out, I have to plan it, are you going to make me pay for it too?"  I almost laughed.  I held it in, and it's a good thing I did because I knew she was being so sarcastic and snippy because she was nervous as hell.  That's what she does.  She can be so nice, but when she's nervous, watch out.

"No, Laur, I'll take care of it.  But since you brought it up, I wanted to make sure you didn't have something already planned in your head.  I'd hate to disappoint you now."

She laughed.  "You know, sometimes you really piss me off," she replied, but she sounded much more relaxed.

"Right back atcha, babe," I replied.

"Gross, don't say that," she said with a groan.  And just like that, everything was back to normal.  Or, as normal as it could be after Lauren told me she wanted to go on a date.  With me.  We talked for a few more minutes, then I told her I'd call her once I figured out details for Tuesday.

"Good.  Don't fuck it up, Berg."  Then she hung up.  I shook my head.

Going on an actual date with Lauren was going to be really interesting.  Especially at this point in our relationship.  We had been friends for what, 8 years now?  We'd had dozens of innocent sleepovers and now several not-so-innocent ones.  

And regardless of what Christian thought, I actually hadn't been in love with Lauren since we first met, at that party freshman year.  I mean, sure, I thought she was hot.  Only an idiot wouldn't have.  She's gorgeous.  And I found her interesting from the start.  A girl that loves football as much as I do (even if she cheers for the wrong team) is always interesting.

But she put off a seriously unavailable and uninterested vibe, so I didn't bother trying to figure out if I had more serious feelings for her.  I shut that down and just enjoyed spending time with her.  It was weird at first.  It was obvious that Lauren didn't exactly know what to do with a friend that was a guy.  And she seemed like she was always on the defensive, ready to deflect and shut down anything from me that remotely resembled flirting or interest.

Once we started to get to know each other a little better though, I figured out how to interact with her in a way that was comfortable for her, and she was able to relax more.  Eventually I also learned about why she was so uptight around me at first too.  Between that asshole that broke her heart and her high school experiences, it was no wonder she had no idea how to act around me.  It made me really glad I never made a move on her.

Because let's be real, I definitely thought about it a couple times.  I would have liked to.  She's hot.  She's smart.  She's funny.  She likes football.  Who wouldn't?  But I knew it wouldn't be received well and I cared more about having her in my life than getting her naked.  So I didn't.  And really, I probably wouldn't have wanted much beyond a friends with benefits relationship at that point.  Waaaaay too much shit to wade through to prove myself for anything more than that.  It was easier to win her over with friendship first.

That makes it sound like I had some elaborate, manipulative plot to befriend her and then get in her pants, and that's definitely not the case either.  I genuinely liked her and enjoyed spending time with her.  I wanted to be her friend.  As she got more and more comfortable, I enjoyed our time together even more.  Every once in awhile I'd have a flash of thinking that maaaaybe, just maybe, I wanted more.  But by that point, I cared way too much about her to ever screw it up, so I pushed it away.

This is stupid, but I was proud (and maybe feeling a little self-important) of the way I was able to gain her trust and how comfortable she was around me.  It was hard work, and I wasn't going to do anything that fucked it up.  So I kept my mouth shut when she started sleeping around, even though I wanted to point out that if what she wanted was sex, I'd be happy to provide it whenever she wanted.  Come on, I'm a guy.

I got so good at pretending that I wanted nothing from Lauren but her company that I even liked and dated other girls.  Nothing lasted for longer than a few months.  A lot of them had issues with the fact that one of my best friends was a girl.  A hot girl.  A hot girl that never had a boyfriend.  Lauren was always incredibly respectful of my relationships.  She didn't spend the night when I was dating someone.  We didn't do much one-on-one hanging out.  But for some reason, too many of the girls I was interested in just couldn't handle her presence in my life at all.

One girl didn't mind.  She had a bunch of male friends of her own, and she was really laid back and not jealous at all.  We were actually together for almost a year.  Almost a year, until she sent me a text message that was meant for someone else.  Someone else that she was fucking.  After that, it just wasn't worth dating much.

Lauren and I stayed good friends, but as we grew into our adult lives after college, our friendship changed.  There were no more sleepovers (except the occasional "my place is too far and it's late, can I stay with you?") and we both got busy with jobs and life.  We were still good friends, but without the freedom of college it's inevitable that things shift.  Gone were any inklings of "more than friendship" feelings for Lauren, as well.  We were comfortable in our friendship.

Then Olivia came along.  We all know what happened with Olivia.  And honestly, I'm glad that she went for Brody, because the more I got to know her, the more I realized we would not have been good together.  Not at all.  Not because of anything specific.  I think Liv is really great.  I think she's smart and obviously she's gorgeous, and she's a sweet girl.  But she's too...midwest-nice.  I need someone with energy and bluntness and dry humor like mine.

And that's when I realized that I needed someone like Lauren.  The thought wasn't a pleasant one, because I knew it would never happen.  I had never seen someone stick so firmly to a "no relationships ever again" decision.  She had follow-though.  But the more I thought about it, the more I realized she really was my ideal partner.  At least, as far I knew.

Lauren started acting kind of strange around me.  I couldn't really put my finger on it, and when I asked Liv about it, she was completely oblivious.  I wondered why I cared so much, and then I worried that my recent realization had made me act differently around her and she was responding to that.  But if no one else noticed, maybe it was in my head.

I started to get frustrated because the more I saw Liv and Brody and Kinsley and Damien together, the more I wanted it for myself.  I tried to put myself out there more and I even dated a little bit but it didn't go well.  I finally just gave up.  

I really wasn't planning on sleeping with her after Kendra and Christian's wedding.  It just sort of happened.  It was enough to make me hopeful, really hopeful.  I don't know what I was expecting her to say in the car, but I was expecting something.  Instead, I got mindless chatter and awkward silence.  And she did all but actually put her hands on me to push me out of her apartment after I dropped her off. 

I was worried that we had screwed up by having sex.  As much as I wanted Lauren to be my girlfriend by this point, I valued our friendship more than anything.  So I took my cue and pretended that nothing happened.  I acted as normally as I could, and luckily she did the same. 

I thought that would be that, but then I saw the way she was glowering at the girl I was talking to at the bar we were at a few weeks later.  When I asked for a ride home, even though I wasn't even close to drunk, I still wasn't exactly sure what my plan was.  I didn't want to push anything that she didn't want, because I really didn't want to lose our friendship.  But maybe if I just gave her an opportunity to make a move, and a little encouragement...

That night turned into another night a few days later.  And then another.  And another.  When we weren't naked, Lauren acted like nothing had changed.  I tried really hard to be okay with that.  I really did.  But the more time we spent together, the more nights she spent cuddled up next to me, the more I was struggling with not pushing for more than just hooking up. 

I knew she knew I wanted more.  I could tell by the sort of sympathetic, almost pitying look she'd give me in the morning when she'd get up, get dressed, and leave.  I left the ball in her court, hoping that after enough nights spent together, she might decide to give it a shot. 

And now, it looks like my waiting finally paid off.  I guess I have a date to plan.

(Now) Lauren: The Point of No Return

Here is a little more on Lauren and Alex.  For next Friday, I'd like to do the date from one of their perspectives, but I can't decide whose.  I'm leaning towards Alex, because we have a better idea of Lauren's feelings than Alex's, but I'm not sure.  If you guys could do me a favor and leave a comment with whose perspective you'd prefer for the date, that would be most helpful!  Thanks!
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I had thought that Alex was disappointed to be so unceremoniously kicked out the day after the wedding, but he gave no indication of disappointment the next time I saw him.  In fact, he was his normal, cheerful self, giving me shit unapologetically. 

So maybe I misread the situation.  And to be completely honest, I'm not sure why I've spent so much time thinking about it.  At least, I spent a lot of time thinking about it when I wasn't thinking about Brad, my coworker.  Once we'd finally just had sex, he couldn't seem to stay away.  So much for him being uptight about company policy.  I was completely okay with that, because the sex was so good.

But now it's been a couple weeks, and I've been sleeping with Brad regularly, and it's just so...easy.   Almost too easy.  It's not even fun anymore.  Part of the fun was trying to land a guy that was all paranoid about "company policy."  Don't get me wrong, the sex is still good, but it's definitely missing the excitement of the build up and subtle flirting and "accidental" contact.

And something is still bugging me about what happened with Alex.  I know I saw his irritation at my refusal to acknowledge what happened, and his disappointment when I pushed him out of my apartment.  I'm not usually wrong about that stuff.  I guess I could be wrong, but I really don't think I am.  It's just a little strange how he went back to normal after that, not bringing it up, not even looking at me the way he had looked at me.

And let's talk about that.  Let's talk about the way he looked at me.  Because I don't think he's ever looked at me like that, even after racking my brain back through all our years together.  After I got over my initial confusion about whether he wanted to date me or just be my friend, back when I had just met him, I had never again felt like he might want anything more from me than friendship.  Never.  But on that Sunday, he had definitely looked at me like he wanted a lot more.

Of course, to complicate it all, I have feelings on the subject too.  And my feelings are: NOPE.  Because what is more terrifying than potentially ruining a long term, amazing friendship by crossing the line out of friendship and into...relationship?  Fuck buddies?  Or whatever it is that he wants.

And I know he knows I don't do relationships.  He was there to witness the after-effects of my one failed attempt.  And after that, after my world had come crumbling down over a stupid guy that I barely even knew, I had promised myself that I would never be in that place again.  And the only way to avoid that place was to avoid relationships.  Because relationships end.  Always.  You break up, you get divorced, someone dies.  There is no such thing as "together forever."

So, if I'm firmly anti-Alex-as-anything-more-than-a-friend, why am I pissed off that he's flirting with some random skanky-looking girl at this bar we're at?  I do have several reasons, actually.  One is that she barely looks like she's old enough to be in this bar.  I mean, she looks like she's in high school.  Another reason is that she looks like the girl in high school that gave out BJs under the bleachers.  Gross.  And her hair is a mess.  She needs a new straightener, or at least to embrace her natural curls.

"Lauren, what are you looking at?" Kinsley's voice breaks into my nasty, judgmental thoughts about the girl Alex is talking to, and my cheeks heat up a little when I realize I'm caught.

"Nothing, just kind of zoning out," I reply, turning to look at her.  She gives me a look like she doesn't quite believe me but she lets it go anyway, and I'm thankful.  I wish suddenly that I hadn't driven here, because I could use another drink.  Instead, I take a sip of my water and force a smile for Kinsley's benefit.  When Alex stands and walks up to the bar with one hand on that stupid girl's back, I turn away and engage in mindless conversation with Kinsley.

At some point in the next hour, the girl disappears and Alex rejoins us.  I glance at my phone and see that it's already nearly 1 am.  "Do you need a ride?" I ask Kinsley.  She shakes her head and says that Damien's on his way to pick her up.

"I do, if you're offering," Alex says.

I turn to look at him and cock one eyebrow, before saying snidely,  "I was offering to Kinsley, but I guess I can give you a ride.  Does your new friend need a ride too?"  Before he can answer, Kinsley is saying goodbye and walking towards the door with Kendra and Christian.

I think maybe I got away with my jab, but Alex leans up against the table, angling his body towards me, and smirks.  "Jealous?" he asks.

I snort.  "Oh yes, absolutely," I say, my words dripping with over-the-top sarcasm.  "I am completely jealous of a barely legal bimbo flouncing around a bar, manipulating guys into buying her drinks."

He studies me for several seconds, which is long enough to make me squirm.  "I think you are," he replies.  "But no need to be jealous, because you're the one I'm leaving with."  He grabs my hand and tugs me towards the door.

"You're only leaving with me because I'm driving your drunk ass home," I snap as we weave through the people.

"Okay," he says back.

I stubbornly refuse to engage with him until we're in my car and I mutter, "Put your seat belt on."  I don't even know why I say it.  He was in the process of reaching for it before I even started talking.

"Yes, ma'am," he replies, and I can see him stifling a laugh even out of the corner of my eye.

I stay silent on the drive, not trusting myself to talk.  When I pull into his driveway, I put the car in park and turn to look at him.  He's looking at me already and my face gets warm when our eyes meet.  This is the first time I've been alone with him since the day after the wedding, and I'm kind of freaking out.

"Come in for a little while," he says.  It's stated as a command, but his tone makes it clear it's a request.

"Why?" I ask, grasping for reasons why I shouldn't.  My apartment is in a really inconvenient place, and I've spent the night with Alex before after a night out.  Completely innocently, of course, so it would be weird for me to refuse this time.  If I refused this time, it would mean...something.  But if I spent the night tonight, it would also mean something.

"Because you want to."  His voice is soft but he's looking at me with that look again.  The look.  The one from my apartment right before I kicked him out.

"No I don't," I protest, but we both know I'm lying.  He takes his seat belt off and leans across the center console and my heart races, because I'm pretty sure he's going to kiss me.  But instead, he reaches for my keys and turns them, turning off my car.  I glare at him.  Who the fuck does he think he is?   I'm about to rebuke him, but he grabs my hand, turns it over so my palm is up, and presses my keys into it.  I stare down at my hand, furious at my body betraying me by sending heat up my arm from where Alex's skin touches my own.

He keeps his gentle grip on my wrist, but two fingers from the hand that once held my keys tip my chin up, and there's no mistaking the look on his face, even in the semi-darkness.  After my eyes lock with his, the fingers on my chin slide back along my jaw, across my neck, and into my hair.  His grip is light, and I could move if I wanted to, but I don't.  "Come inside," he says again.  I shake my head.  I can't.  But even as I'm shaking my head, I'm leaning towards him.

When our lips meet, it feels different than it did after the wedding.  Probably partially because I'm not drunk, but something else too.  When we kissed after the wedding, it was something to do.  He was there, we were drunk, it made sense.  But now...it feels like it means something.  That thought makes me pull back abruptly, and I see the same disappointment on Alex's face that I had seen the day after the wedding.

"You're drunk," I say, my voice cracking.  I clear my throat.  "I don't want...I shouldn't..." I stop, having no idea what I was going to say.

"I'm not, actually," he replies.  I roll my eyes, because seriously?  "How many drinks do you think I had?" he asks curiously.  I think back, realizing I only actually saw him with one drink.  And then I realize that he's not acting like drunk Alex either.  And then I realize he's still in my space, and despite every logical bone in my body, I want to go inside with him.

"Okay," I sigh.  Alex pulls back a little further and looks at me, confused.  I grab my purse, drop my keys--which had still been clenched in my hand--in it, and take my seat belt off.  "Well, are you coming in or not?" I ask him as I open my door, needing to regain just the smallest bit of control.  He scrambles to get out of the car and easily catches up to me before I reach his front door.

Once we're inside, he turns to me and starts to say something, but I quickly shut him up by kissing him hard and pulling him against me.  If we're going to do this, we're going to do it on my terms.  I walk backwards three steps, pulling him with me, our lips never breaking contact.  When my back is settled firmly against the wall and I'm trapped by Alex's body, tight against mine, I turn my head slightly, breaking our kiss.  "I still don't do relationships, you know," I advise him.

"I know," he agrees.  His voice is serious, and so is his face.  Good.  I need him to know where I'm at right now before we go anything further.

"You shouldn't anticipate that that will change," I continue, studying his face as I talk, looking for clues to how he feels about this.

"I know," he repeats.  "I respect that."  He respects that.  What does that mean?  That he wants it to change, but he's not going to push it?  I don't move, I don't say anything.  I don't want to do anything that's going to damage our friendship, and I need something more concrete than "I respect that."  He seems to understand my hesitation and says softly, "I'd never push you for anything you don't want, Lauren.  Never.  I care about our friendship way too much for that.  I'm okay with this."

That's all I need, and I slip my fingers into his hair, pulling his head down to mine and kissing him.  His hands grip my hips as he moves his mouth to my ear, sucking on my earlobe, then down my neck.  I tip my head back so he can move his lips across my throat, and I groan softly.  He suddenly pulls his mouth away, but before I can be disappointed, he turns me so I'm facing away from him.  He kisses the back of my neck as his hands move up under my shirt, unhooking my bra before sliding back around and cupping my breasts.

In minutes, my shirt is gone and my pants are around my ankles, and I'm moaning with my forehead pressed against the wall as his fingers move between my legs.  I put my hand on his wrist and stop his hand so I can gasp, "Do you have a condom?"  I'm ready to get this show on the road.

"In my room," he replies, his breath warm against my ear.  He steadies me as I step out of my pants and then leads me to his room.  I sit on the edge of the bed as I wait for him to get undressed and get a condom.  When he returns to me, he slides his hands up my legs, pushing them apart as he starts to kneel in front of me.  "No," I growl, pulling him up.  "Just fuck me."

He cocks an eyebrow and smirks.  "If that's what you want," he replies playfully.  Before I can respond, he's flipped me over so I'm bent over the bed, facedown.  I gasp and grip the blankets as he pushes into me hard.  I moan as he eases back slowly, and I try to rock my hips back to meet him but he keeps me still with his hands on my hips, then slams back against me.

We're sweaty and breathless by the time we both finish, and I need Alex to help pull me up from where I want to just melt into the bed, half standing, half laying.

"Damn, that was good," I mutter, settling into a comfortable spot, kicking the blankets away from where they try to tangle around my feet. 

"Even better sober," Alex agrees with a chuckle, returning from the bathroom and sliding close to me.  I roll over towards him and snuggle against his chest.  What?  I get affectionate after sex.  It's pretty much the only time.  I yawn as he wraps one arm around me and pushes the other into my hair, gently rubbing his fingertips against my scalp.  He knows how much I love that, and seems more than happy to do it.

When I can no longer keep my eyes open, I sit up and stretch.  "I should go,"I say, hesitating.  I don't really want to, but I don't think staying is a good idea either.

"Stay, Laur.  It's late."  Alex looks up at me, his face unreadable.  I don't say anything, but I don't move either.  "It's never meant anything in the past, it doesn't need to mean anything now either."  I wish I could believe that, but I don't.  I yawn again.  "Look," Alex says, sitting up.  "I'll give you clothes to wear.  You can sleep on the damn couch if you really want to.  But it's late and you're tired, and I don't feel good about you driving home right now."  He has a point, and I finally nod.  He gets up, pulls on a pair of shorts he picked up off the floor and walks over to his dresser.

I can't help but admire the muscles in his shoulders and back as he pulls drawers open and grabs a few things.  He comes back to the bed and hands me a shirt and a pair of shorts.  I pull the shirt on, and it's long enough that I just hand the shorts back.  "I don't know if I can resist you if I wake up in the morning with you pants-less in my bed," he warns. 

I shrug and smirk.  "Well, I was going to go sleep on the couch, but I like morning sex, so I think I'll stay here."  I pull the blankets up and lay back.  Alex chuckles and climbs back into bed next to me.  He lays next to me on his side, and drapes his arm over my stomach.  I hesitate for a half a second before I roll onto my side and press my back against his chest as he tightens his arm around my waist.

"Goodnight, Lauren," he whispers against the back of my neck.  I shiver slightly from his breath tickling my skin.

"Goodnight," I reply sleepily.  As I close my eyes, I finally admit to myself that there's no way our relationship can stay how it's always been after this.  We passed the point of no return tonight, and I let it happen. 
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Don't forget to let me know whose perspective you'd like to read about their date in!

The Hangover

As promised, a bonus post for your Wednesday evening.  Enjoy!
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Our Friday girls' night was perfectly low key.  We laid around in our pajamas and drank too much wine and ate too much food and watched too much trashy TV.  Cassie filled us in on her date with Ben's brother, Nick.

"The date was really good, but he ruined it when he kissed me at the end," she reported, grimacing.

"Bad?" I asked.

"So bad," she groaned.  "Too much tongue.  It was like he was trying to seriously lick every surface of the inside of my mouth."

"Gross!" Kinsley shrieked.  We all agreed.

"Do you think he's trainable?" Kendra asked.  I laughed, picturing Cassie patting him on the head and telling him good job after kissing appropriately.

Cassie shook her head.  "I don't even think I want to find out."

"James is still single, if you can deal with his crazy drunk brother," I joked.

"James is hot," Cassie replied.  "I'd do him."

"Well, I can assure you that he is an excellent kisser," I said.  "But I wouldn't wish his brother on anyone."

"And I wouldn't date someone you used to date," Cassie said.

I shrugged.  "I don't care.  We didn't date that long and we're not on bad terms.  It's not like he screwed me over.  You guys would be a good match, actually."

"They would," Lauren agreed, nodding slowly.  "That's actually an excellent idea."

"We could double date!" Kinsley said excitedly.  Cassie and Kendra were both looking at us like we were insane.

"You guys are ridiculous," Cassie replied.  "I'm not even going to listen to any more of this."  I shrugged and Lauren changed the subject by asking about Brody.

"Is he still working constantly and blowing you off?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at me.

"No, things have been really good since....well, since the weekend we were supposed to go skiing but ended up in Wisconsin," I responded.  "I mean, he's still working a ton, and I've probably seen him a little less, but he's been better about not interrupting the time we are together with work calls and stuff.  And I prefer a little less time with fewer interruptions to more time with his phone constantly ringing."

"Good," Kinsley declared.

The rest of the night disappeared into a blur of wine and snacks and gossip, and when I woke up next to Cassie in Kinsley's guest bed, my head was throbbing and my mouth was disgustingly dry.   I groaned as I rolled over, but Cassie popped up into a sitting position, grinning at me.

"Feeling good, lightweight?" she asked.  I glared and pulled the blanket over my head.  "I've never seen you that drunk before, it was excellent."

"You've never seen me that drunk because I hate being hungover," I mumbled from beneath the blanket.  "I hope you never see me drunk again."

She pulled the blanket back.  "Kinsley left a bottle of water and some aspirin on the dresser for you," she reported.   When I said nothing and continued to glare at her, she hopped out of bed and brought them over to me.  I swallowed two aspirin and drank half the bottle of water, closing my eyes against the pounding in my head.  Cassie got up and let me go back to sleep, and when I woke up again about an hour later, I felt much better already.

Cassie, Kendra, and Kinsley were sitting in the kitchen with coffee and french toast.  Lauren apparently wasn't very good shape either and was still in bed.  She definitely got uncharacteristically drunk last night too.  I grabbed a cup of coffee and a plate of french toast and sat down.

I felt almost normal after eating, which was pretty much a record hangover recovery for me.  We all left early in the afternoon, and after I showered I called Brody.

"Ready for me?" I asked when he answered.

"I can't even answer that seriously," he responded, laughing.  "My mind is in a dirty place.  But yes, come anytime."  He laughed again at his terrible inadvertent dirty joke.

"You're awful," I replied.  I picked up pizza on my way out for later, since no one delivered out there.  He took the pizza and my overnight bag when he answered the door.  After he put the pizza in the fridge and set my bag down, he kissed me.

"Hi," he said.  "You look much better than I expected you to after our conversation last night."

"I called you last night?" I groaned.  "What did I say?"

"Nothing," he said, laughing.  "You just called to say goodnight.  A very slurred and enthusiastic goodnight."

We spent most of the afternoon laying on the couch, watching movies.  At some point I fell asleep, and Brody woke me up to go upstairs and lay down.  Just walking upstairs woke me up enough that when Brody laid down next to me I slipped my hand behind his head and pulled him closer, kissing him.

"I thought we were coming up here to nap," he teased me, his hand sliding over my hip. 

"Well we were, but then I woke up a little," I replied before kissing his neck and slipping my hands under his shirt, running my fingers across his abs.

Brody stifled a yawn.  "I'm awfully tired, you might have to convince me," he said, his hand gripping my hip.   I moved my hand lower, gliding it across the front of his shorts before rolling so I was on top of him.  I pulled my shirt off and leaned down to kiss him, moving my hips in a circle against his.  He groaned and I could feel him growing harder beneath me. 

"It doesn't seem like you need that much convincing," I whispered in his ear before brushing my lips against his earlobe and moving back down to the side of his neck.  He grabbed my hips and pulled them hard against his own, then lifted his head and kissed me.

He rolled us over so he was on top of me now.  "Nope, that'll do," he said with a grin.

"Now I'm ready to nap," I said when we were finished.  I rolled onto my side and scooted backwards until my back was pressed against Brody's chest.  He wrapped his arm around me and kissed my shoulder lightly.

"And I'm wide awake," he retorted.

"Sad for you," I replied, smirking.

He tightened his arm around me.  "Or sad for you, because you're going to have to deal with me," he said with a laugh.

"Shhhhhh, I'm sleeping."

"That's weird, I didn't know you talked in your sleep."  He nuzzled his face against my hair.  "Your hair smells good."  I tried ignoring him, hoping he would get sleepy eventually.  Then I felt his lips on my shoulder.  He kissed across my shoulder and up the back of my neck.  Meanwhile, his hand was sliding up my stomach.  He ran his fingers over the underside of my breast, then brushed his thumb across my nipple before moving his hand down between my legs.

"You better let me sleep after this," I gasped before rolling over and climbing on top of him.  He was already hard and I guided him into me and slid down hard.

"Mmmmm," he breathed, pulling my head down to kiss me.  "I will, promise."  I rocked my hips against him, slowly at first, then faster.  He grabbed my hips and matched my movements, pulling my hips down against him as he thrust up into me.  He moved one hand from my hips to move his thumb in circles against me, and it wasn't long before I cried out, my legs shaking against Brody's hips.  He followed shortly after, digging his fingers hard into my hips.

I rolled off and slipped into the bathroom.  When I came back, Brody was still sprawled across the bed on his back, and he barely opened his eyes as I climbed back into bed next to him and pulled a blanket up over us.  I yawned as I settled my head on his chest.  "Sleepy now?" I asked him.  He nodded, wrapping one arm around me, and pushing my hair behind my ear with the other hand.  He repeated the movement that had finally put me to sleep after Lynn's accident, running his finger lightly over the edge of my ear and down my jaw.  I yawned again and closed my eyes, and soon we were both asleep. 

When I woke, it was nearly dark in Brody's room.  I lifted my head to try to see Brody's clock, but I couldn't see it without climbing over him.  "It's almost 7," he said softly, startling me.

"I didn't know you were awake," I said, shifting away from him so I could see his face.

He smiled at me.  "I've been awake for about 15 minutes.  I didn't want to wake you, since I said I'd let you sleep." 

"Well that was nice of you," I said, smiling back.  I yawned and stretched.  "I'm hungry."

Brody laughed.  "Of course you are."  We got up and dressed and went downstairs to eat the pizza I had picked up earlier.  When we were seated at the table with pizza, he asked, "What do you want to do for your birthday?"  I had nearly forgotten my birthday was a week from tomorrow until Lauren had brought it up the night before.

"I don't know, really," I said.  "We talked about it a little last night at Kinsley's, and I think I just want to do something low key.  Maybe just go out to dinner with everyone and grab a few drinks.  Nothing crazy."  Brody frowned.  I raised my eyebrows and said, "And don't even think about getting me anything, because you spent more than enough on my Christmas gift."

"I'll take that into consideration," he said noncommittally.  I glared at him.  He smiled.  Part of my hesitation at wanting to do much was the fact that Brody had turned 30 while he was in Miami and I hadn't even called him to wish him a happy birthday.  I still felt guilty about it, even though we weren't together at the time.  I should have at least called.  I had handled the whole Miami situation poorly from start to finish, but at least Brody didn't seem to hold it against me. 

After a few minutes he said, "I assume that if we go out, it will be on Saturday?"  I nodded.  "Can I at least take you to dinner on Sunday then?  Since Todd will be here this week, I probably won't have a ton of free time during the week, so I'd love to be able to spend Sunday with you, with no work interruptions."  Brody's former classmate in San Diego that wanted to partner with him was coming out this week to see the office and the work Brody's company was doing.

"Yes, that sounds like a plan," I replied.  Spending my birthday with Brody without any work interruptions sounded like the perfect birthday gift.

We spent the rest of the evening as lazily as we spent the afternoon.  The next day we decided to go snowshoeing.  We went to a nearby park where I could rent snowshoes since I'd never been.  Once I got the hang of the weird stride that walking with big pieces of metal strapped to your feet required, it was easy and fun.  It was just like hiking, but in the snow.  It was a much better workout than I thought it would be, and I was exhausted and sweaty after almost an hour and a half.

"That was awesome," I said, when we were in Brody's SUV on the way back to his house.

He glanced at me and grinned.  "I'm happy you liked it.  I haven't been in a long time, so I'm glad we went."

"We should go again next weekend!" I said.  Brody laughed and agreed that we should.

We went back to Brody's house and showered.  While we were making dinner together, his phone rang.  He glanced at it.  "Hey, it's Todd, I should only be a couple minutes," he said.  I nodded.  He answered, leaning against the counter out of my way.  He talked for a few minutes, giving Todd the information for the flight and hotel room he had booked for him.  Then while he was listening, he looked over at me.  "Yeah, I can talk to her and I'll let you know what works....Sounds good.  See you tomorrow then, bye."

I looked at him curiously.  "He invited us both to dinner this week.  Would you like to go?"

"Sure," I said, after hesitating for a second.

"He specifically said it would be a social dinner, not a business dinner.  He wants to meet you and catch up with me, that's all," he assured me.  I agreed and we decided on Tuesday.  Brody texted Todd to let him know, then confirmed that Tuesday would work.  He walked back over to me and slid his arms around my waist.  I leaned back against him.  "Don't look so nervous, it's just dinner," he teased.  "I'm sure Todd is just curious what kind of woman has commanded my attention enough for me to call her 'girlfriend'.  He only knew me in my anti-commitment phase."

"Oh, that helps," I said sarcastically.  "And wasn't that most of your adult life?"

"Yeah, pretty much from halfway through my senior year in high school until this summer, when someone changed my mind," he said softly, leaning his head forward to kiss my cheek.  I turned to face him and put my arms around his neck.  He kissed me gently.

As usual, I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just leaned my head against his chest, breathing in his scent.  "Can I stay here tonight?" I asked.

"Of course," he replied.  "I'm planning on being up by 5 to head to the gym before the office though."

"That's fine, I need to go home early to get ready for work anyway.  I just would rather sleep here with you tonight than go home." 

"You can stay here whenever you want, you know that," he said, tightening his arms around me.  "I sleep better with you."

"I sleep better with you too," I replied.  "Which is weird, because I usually sleep terribly when I'm not at home."

"Well, it's lucky for me, I guess."  I could feel him smiling against my hair, and I could have stood in his kitchen with him like that forever.