Say Something

"Liv, my dad wants me to be the new Director of Operations.  With it comes a share transfer which would make me majority shareholder.  The catch is that I'd have to stay in Miami." 

I stared at him.  In all my consideration of what the "other shoe" might be, the thought of him moving to Miami permanently had never crossed my mind.  But there it was, kicking me in the face.

"S-stay?" I stuttered.  "In Miami?"  I was struggling to form a coherent thought.  "And you leave Saturday?  Forever?"

"No," he said quickly, reaching for my hand.  I let him take it, but I didn't squeeze back.  He stroked my knuckles as he went on.  "It's such a huge move and a huge change.  There are a lot of reasons not to do it, like you."  At this, he tipped my chin up to raise my eyes from the spot on the floor they'd been fixed on.  His eyes were tired and serious, but they were also sad.  I swallowed hard.  "My dad wasn't prepared for any answer but 'yes', but I negotiated him into a 60 day trial period.  That way I can be there to oversee the training of the new manager, and get my feet wet in the director of operations role to see if it's something I'm willing to uproot my life for, again."

He had moved his hand from my chin, but I kept my eyes on his for a second longer, willing the emotion off my face.  When I couldn't do it anymore, I turned my eyes back down to the floor.  My head was spinning, and I felt a little bit sick.  I probably jinxed it all the other night, I thought bitterly.  I am so stupid. 

"Olivia, please say something," Brody pleaded.

I pulled my hand out of his and locked my hands together in my lap.  Then I turned steely eyes towards him.  "Say something?" I spat, and he recoiled as if I'd slapped him.  "What am I supposed to say?  This sucks for me, but it's an amazing opportunity for you.  So if I say something honest, I'm an asshole, and if I say 'congratulations', I'm a liar.  I don't feel like being either of those those things tonight."  He looked stung. 

"Liv," he said softly, desperately.  "You're right, it is an amazing opportunity for me.  Not many people get the chance to be majority shareholder and director of operations for a multimillion dollar company before their 30th birthday.  But you have to know that the first thing I said to him was 'no'.  He wasn't hearing it.  He told me my choice was to take the promotion or find a new job.  I was ready to call his bluff and tell him I'd find a new job, but he has me locked into an airtight non-compete and it would be hard, if not impossible.  It took me five hours to wear him down to the 60 day trial period.  I even made him call the company attorney and put it in writing so he couldn't screw me over later." He stopped and took a deep breath.  "If it wasn't for you, I'd have taken the promotion and not looked back."

I didn't speak.  I didn't trust myself.  I couldn't understand why I felt like my world was falling apart.  We hadn't even had the exclusivity talk, so this didn't even qualify as a breakup.  I closed my eyes and took three deep breaths.  I looked up at him.  "Okay," I said with a nod, sounding much calmer than I felt.  "Well, I do appreciate that you went head to head with your dad for me.  I probably don't sound sincere, but it really does mean a lot.  Um, I have a stupid question though."  He nodded to me to go on.  "What..." my voice caught, and I paused and tried again.  "What now?  Us, I mean? 60 days is kind of a long time, longer than we've even really been dating actually, which seems kind of crazy.  And if it has the potential to be forever, well--" I realized I was rambling and stopped abruptly.

Now it was his turn to look away, and he studied his shoe.  "Since I don't know for certain if I'll be coming back to stay or to pack in 60 days," he said, his voice wavering slightly, "I don't think it's fair for me to ask you to wait for me to make that decision."  He stopped, still not meeting my eyes.

"What does that even mean?" I asked, not sure I wanted him to clarify.

He glanced back at me and I saw the pain in his eyes.  I knew exactly what it meant then.  "Oh," I said abruptly.

Neither of us spoke for a while, and then he said, "Look, Liv...I just want...If you meet someone while I'm off exploring my career options, I don't want to be holding you back from 2000 miles away."

"And what if I don't want to meet someone?" I asked, quietly.  He shook his head.  I understood now that I didn't have a choice in the matter.  "I think I should go," I said, standing up.  He stood and reached for me.  I let him pull me against his chest.  I took a deep breath, willing the tears away.  I wasn't going to let him see me cry over him.  He stroked my hair and ran his hand down my back.  He kissed the top of my head and I pulled away.  I turned and walked towards the door.  I heard him trailing behind me.

I stopped at the door and turned, my hand on the knob.  I looked up at him, feeling more numb now than anything.  "Good luck," I said simply, before turning the knob and stepping out the door.  I walked to my car robotically and got in.  I started it and backed out of the driveway.   I focused on the road, realizing that I wasn't at home when I stopped.  I was at Lauren's.  I looked at the clock.  9:26.  I hoped it wasn't too late, I knew she had to work early.  I grabbed my phone and walked to her building, slipping in the secure door as someone else came out.  I walked stiffly up to her apartment and knocked while sending a text telling her it was me.  30 seconds later, she pulled the door open.

"Liv!  What are you doing here?"  Seeing my face, she said, "Oh my god, what happened?"  The tears that I had worked so hard to hold back flowed, and she grabbed my hand and pulled me inside.  Once we had the door shut she wrapped her arms around me and we sank to the floor, leaning back against the door as I cried against her.